Dungeon Master: It's a Magical World

[TimBaril]

Without slowing down, Kai chucked the baby like he was two-hand throwing a soccer ball into play from the sidelines, straight up into the owl bear's chest. "Catch!"

The owl bear jerked backward, blinking fast. It instinctively reached out to catch the flying baby, which gave out a startled, "Eep!"

Kai ducked and scooted right between the owl bear's legs while the taller beast was desperately distracted. He didn't quite duck low enough because bears have stubby legs, and smacked his forehead on something furry and rubbery, which elicited a gasping squawk from overhead. Kai didn't slow, though. Once through, he gunned it for the far wall and the admin stairway. Only once he was safely in the stairwell and protected by the barrier so creatures and others couldn't get to him, did he turn and look back while doubled over, hands on his knees, panting from exertion.

The first owl bear, the one now living in the dungeon, was backpeddling with frantic haste, baby clutched tight, eyes bulging.

The second owl bear, presumably the baby's mother, came barreling into the room like a freight train of parental wrath. She let out a high-pitched roar and snatched the baby out of the other's arms. Even as the baby stopped crying and buried its head in the mother's furry chest, the mother batted the other adult owl bear, perhaps the father, over the head.

The father tried to duck and cover, but it was no use. The mother kept slapping him down while screeching and growling, and probably really chastizing him for not being around to protect the baby.

Kai felt slightly guilty about that. And the kidnapping. Then he climbed the stairs as fast as he could on jellied legs, silently hoping the dungeon came with an elevator upgrade at some point. In the Admin Room, he flung himself at the console and locked the door to the fifth floor. Clinging to the console to prevent himself from sliding to the floor, he looked up at the screen.

Both adults and the baby were in the room. The door was locked. The mother was…still giving the father a piece of her mind. Or three. Violently. He appeared to be trying to run away, clawed paws over his head, fiercely waddling and begging her to stop according to his whimpering, but she was sticking to his fluffy feathered tail, not letting up for a second, the baby tucked safely under her other arm.

Kai let himself sink to the floor at last. He let out a long breath and enjoyed the cool stone against his body. "You'd think from all this running for my life, I'd have better cardio by now."

He now understood why rabbits and deer were always so fit. At least this gremlin body was in better shape than his human one had been. If he'd been his old, saggy, soft self, he'd have been eaten three times over by now. And he wouldn't have been lean meat. He would have been highly marbled, like those cows in Japan that spend their entire life in a tiny stall being stuffed with food every day until they were riddled with fat, and became famously juicy steaks: Kobe beef. That would have been him: Kobe Kai, the other red meat.

Hmm. Kobe Kai. Kinda sounded like Cobra Kai. That could have been his nickname if he'd been turned into a naga instead of a gremlin. A long, forked tongue and an extendable hood, maybe poisoned fangs. Maybe a black ninja outfit and membership in a secret, evil organization determined to take over the world. That would have been too weird. As strange as it was being in a body the size of a cat, he was glad he was still bipedal and not slithering around on a tail.

A greasy odour caught his nose. Scrunching it up, he reached up and touched his forehead. Then he sniffed his fingers. He gagged. "Ew. I smell like sweaty bear b—"

A loud whining sounded.

Kai glanced up at the screen.

The father owl bear was on his knees, begging as the mother berated him. But she wasn't hitting him, so…progress?

Kai stared at the wall. He'd just kidnapped a family and trapped them in his dungeon. On the one hand, maybe he'd saved them from being murdered for XP by that adventurer he'd heard about from Dead End. On the other hand, he'd locked them in an underground prison for the sake of dungeon growth. Maybe he'd be able to turn their room into a really nice place, like the best zoo enclosure ever, with lots of free food and the occasional adventurer to feast on. Then again, it would still be an enclosure, and they would no longer be free in the wild. Although the wild was dangerous, they had been free out there. He'd taken that away from them.

Some people in his position might have been like, who cares? You got free monsters. Level up from that shit, and enjoy it, bro! XP is all that matters. It's use or be used, kill or be killed, the law of the jungle. Progression and dominance, bitches! Because some people didn't have feelings and couldn't be empathetic. They were self-centred and soulless, the true monsters of the world.

Kai might be a gremlin now, but he didn't want to be a monster. That left him conflicted. Something to think about. For now, he heaved himself off the floor, washed the stank off his forehead, and set to hauling down some food for the new arrivals. Whether or not he released them later, they needed food and water. And a latrine. Because he wasn't cleaning that place in person.

He said aloud, "Legendary dungeon doesn't come with bathroom facilities. Guests are disgusted and leave poo-filled reviews. 5/10."

A farting noise came from somewhere, and a stench filled the room.

Kai sat up, pinched his nose and looked around. "Ok, who did that?!" Had someone been at the open door? Maybe there were bugs in the air-flow system? That would fit with the shady sales guy willing to sell to gremlins. And explain the low price of free. He needed to find some pine trees and drag a few boughs into the dungeon to make it smell better.

The next day started much more quietly. Although Kai was eager to set out to find the elves, Rush was needed to help the other kobolds with the construction of basic defences in the dungeon, guarding folks while they gathered food and materials in the forest, and helping with the new mine. There was a lot of talk over how to set up a candle-making workshop. The owl bears had quieted with the copious addition of food. The baby crawled around, exploring the new space while the mother glared at the father, who had taken a sudden interest in stonework, lighting, and dragging the baskets of food Kai left from the door to his silently angry mate before dashing out of reach.

Kai busied himself helping here and there where he could while trying and failing to hold back a sense of urgency that they really, really needed to get going on the whole making money thing so the dungeon didn't get taken from them. He was helping construct a table outside the mine when he felt a haptic buzz in the base of his skull that jerked him right out of his work. He whipped his head around, thinking someone had attacked him from behind, but no one was there. Then the buzzing came again, making him shiver. He noticed a blinking light in the corner of his vision and tried to turn to look at it, only for the red dot to move wherever his gaze did. Only when he tried to focus on the dot did a digital-like window pop up in his vision.

"Ahh!" He fell backward on to his butt.

Rocky and others in the room looked at him.

"Uhh…can any of you see this?"

Rocky cocked his head to the side, confused.

"Great. Just me." He focused on the words. It was like he had a heads-up display in his vision.

INTRUDER ALERT

His brain stem buzzed again. He wriggled and stood, upset. "What the hell, man? Did this place turn my head into a frickin' iPhone? Not cool!" He called out to the others, "Someone's coming into the dungeon! Be careful!" He dashed upstairs to the Admin Room as the others hurriedly made themselves scarce.

On the wall screen, a figure stood in the entrance to the first room, cautiously peering inside, and giving the floor a very suspicious study. It was human-sized, had mottled green-brown skin and an ugly face, a pot belly, and the worst — second worst — thin orange hair he'd ever seen. It was like a balding troll doll but way less cute. And it carried an axe of dark gray metal, making it dangerous.

Kai's jaw hit the floor. "Holy fantasy tropes, is that a goblin? Daaamn, that's way bigger than I thought they'd be. Or maybe it's an orc? Or…some kinda ninja turtle without a shell?" Too bad the magical dungeon didn't come with a monster manual.

The creature placed a tentative but purposeful foot on the floor where the pit trap was, but he hung onto the door frame at the same time, obviously testing the integrity of the stone in front of him and expecting the worst. When the pit opened, he nodded as if expecting that and did not fall in.

"Guess Slimy won't be tasting goblin today." Kai watched as the goblin took a couple of steps back, then ran and easily leaped the pit. Kai felt a twist in his gut. This guy seemed really dangerous.

Several smaller figures gingerly edged into view on the side of the screen, coming down the tunnel to the dungeon entrance. They were much smaller than the orange-haired warrior, female, and from the looks of things, several were heavily pregnant. This changed Kai's perspective immediately, and his sympathy rose to the fore. Maybe these goblins needed help. The kobolds had needed help, and they'd turned out to be good people. Maybe these goblins were the same, not at all like old stereotypes back home. Just because they weren't cute or cool-looking didn't mean they were bad people.

He almost opened the Admin door to the first floor so he could talk to them. After all, he would be safe behind the barrier. But at the last second, something told him that maybe he should act more cautiously. No sense revealing that the dungeon was magical just yet. So he scooted down to the second floor.

He quietly worked his way toward the main stairs, taking up a position with the bear and pit traps at the bottom of the stairs between him and the newcomers. He peered up the stairs and listened. His acute gremlin hearing easily picked out the sounds of people being helped across the pit trap above on the first floor. Kai cupped his hands around his mouth and called up the stairs, "Hey! Can you hear me?"

The sounds above halted. Moments later, the big goblin warily poked his head into the stairwell.

Kai felt suddenly nervous. The goblin was much bigger than he was. "Uh, hi. Welcome to the dungeon." That sounded generic. He would have to think up an actual name at some point. "Do you…come in peace?" He really couldn't figure out what to say.

The warrior above studied Kai with narrowed eyes. Then his gaze roamed the corridor. "Just you down there?"

Kai felt his excitement rise. This one, at least, seemed able to speak fluently in the same language. He smiled. "Oh no. There's more of us."

"This your place?"

"Yeah. It's home." How weird it was to say that. He used to live in a big, modern city. Now he inhabited a literal dungeon. With monsters. "We're not necessarily hostile. I mean, if you're cool, we're cool."

"Cool?"

Right, different sayings in different cultures. "We don't wanna fight if you don't wanna fight."

The goblin, Kai guessed it was a hobgoblin from the size, slowly nodded. "I see." He seemed to mull it over. Then he slid the axe into his belt and smiled wide. "Very well. Of course we don't want to fight. We're not violent people at all! Just a humble family looking for a new place to settle into."

Kai was relieved. He didn't want to fight either. "Good. Please, come on in." He waved the goblin down. "Oh! Wait. Hold on. There are traps. Hold on." He ran back to Admin and turned them off.

The goblin was at the foot of the stairs, the females hiding in the doorway above. He poked at the bear trap, flicking leaves away so he could examine it.

"Ok. All safe now. Well, the pit traps are off. You can jump over the bear trap. Just be careful. Um, do your family members need help?"

The goblin idly asked, "So you can turn traps on and off remotely, hmm?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting." He studied the ground on the other side of the bear trap. "There's another pit trap right there?"

"Yeah. But you can walk on it now." To prove it, Kai stepped onto the hatch, and it stayed in place.

The goblin nodded, casually interested. He looked over his shoulder and waved the others down. The goblin stepped forward, not bothering to help the women down or over the trap, despite the fact that they were more Kai's size and some were waddling and needed help. He had a confident, commanding air, the look of someone used to being in charge and successful. "So, there are more of you down here? What are you, by the way?"

"Me? Gremlin. Just one of me. We have a tribe of kobolds living here too. And a couple of slimes."

The goblin seemed amused. "Kobolds, huh?" He relaxed even more. He walked past Kai into the corridor, looking both ways at the rooms down the halls. "So this is your place? You and the kobolds?"

"Yep. We're still making it comfortable, but it's starting to take shape. I think it'll make a good home, place to keep people safe from adventurers or dangerous animals and stuff."

The goblin nodded in agreement, eyes everywhere. Finally, he turned to Kai with a big grin. "Excellent. And you have room for us? If you don't, I completely understand. But, as you can see, some of us are really in no shape to continue travelling. It would be a great help to settle down somewhere."

Kai watched the women working at helping each other over the bear trap. He hurried over to lend a hand. They were leery, but accepted it. He spoke as he helped a pregnant female goblin around the side of the trap. "Yeah. If you guys need a place to stay, the more the merrier." When the goblin woman gave him a tentative smile as she set foot on the safe floor again, he felt a bit lighter. He enjoyed helping folks. Once they were all on the second floor, he turned back to the evident leader. None of the others were close to his size.

The leader seemed quite pleased. He extended an arm down and gave Kai an apparently friendly poke in the arm. Maybe it was how goblins shook hands? "What's your name?"

"Kai."

"Kai. Great name. Strong. I like it. I'm Chief Thump."

"Um, nice to meet you." Should he poke back? He shouldn't; that would be weird. Unless he was expecting to be poked? No, better play it safe. No poking.

With a broad, toothy smile full of charm, Thump spread his hands wide and said, "This is gonna be great. Really great. What we have here is the makings of a beautiful friendship; I can tell. And this place, this dungeon? Beautiful. Amazing. Spectacular. You've done really well here. But I can just see the potential. This dungeon could be even better! We're gonna do great things together. I'm excited. This is gonna be the greatest dungeon ever."

And Kai grinned back, believing him and really excited about the future.

 

[TimBaril]

Relaxing, Thump looked around. "How about a tour? I'm really excited to see this place." With his confidence and quick adjustment to the situation, he exuded natural charisma.

Since Kai had a good feeling about the impressive goblin, he was excited to oblige. After all, their little dungeon was growing fast, and he was…well, a little proud of it. As soon as that thought happened upon him, he felt his little gremlin chest swell, his back straighten, and he smiled widely, not bothering to hide all his sharp teeth. "Yeah. Sure. Come on!" He waved the much taller and larger Thump to follow.

Thump looked at the other goblins and jerked his head to indicate they should come too.

As they were already on the second floor, it was the natural place to start. Earlier, Kai had finally put up wall sconces for lighting in the dungeon. He and the others might see ok in the dark, but this made it much nicer. The small torches were set in iron holders high on the walls and burned continuously with only the barest hint of heat and smoke, obviously magical. The firelight warmed the color of the uneven, gray stone blocks in the walls and floor.

The second floor had a dumbbell shape, with the stairs up and down in the middle. The secret private rooms, which matched the public rooms in size, could be accessed from a secret door in one side of the dumbbell shape. The kobolds had all vanished, likely hiding in the private section.

Kai led Chief Thump down the hall and proudly gestured to the first room. "As you can see, this floor is where our kobolds have been taking up residence. We're thinking of making these rooms the crafting area. Apparently, they're big on making candles. But they've also been creating lots of things, like beds and furniture. They're reallyhandy." Kai was genuinely impressed. He might have come from a more 'advanced' world, but he didn't have the slightest clue about how to weave a basket out of grass, let alone do anything even more complicated.

Thump slowly nodded but seemed to be suppressing disappointment. "Just, uh, grass beds, huh? Furniture made of branches? Not interested in building anything nicer?" He gave Kai an inquiring look.

Kai twinged with embarrassment. Apparently, this goblin was used to nicer living arrangements. "Oh, yeah, for sure. But, you know, we just haven't had time yet."

"Of course!" Thump quickly smiled again and patted Kai on the shoulder. "These things take time."

It felt weirdly good to experience the big chief's approval. As they descended to the third floor next, Kai girded himself and took a big breath. He knew there wasn't much to show, and the dungeon wasn't very impressive. He was suddenly kind of ashamed and tried, and failed, to suppress it. The third floor's rooms were all in a line. The first two were pretty bare because they were going to be used for processing ore, so there was nothing much to see. Then Kai saw the mine. His confidence rose. "Ah! We just opened a mine. The kobolds are all really excited about it." Rocky, especially, was over the moon still, and his enthusiasm was catching on with the younger kobolds who evidently hadn't experienced this part of kobold culture yet.

Thump's brows and interest rose. "Oh? Excellent! What are you mining? Gold? Gems?" He looked into the opening of the hole in the wall, but it barely went through the stone wall. He looked around as if confused.

Kai scratched his head, a nervous tic. "Uh, we don't know yet. Again, just started. But maybe there'll be gold! That would be cool." It would solve all his money problems! But he suspected life wasn't going to be that easy. Why would anyone make and sell dungeon cores that could generate their own wealth? It would be too easy to pay back the seller. Kai was probably going to have to find ways of making his own money.

Thump seemed to force his smile to return. "Sure. Who knows, right? Probably nothing worth mining for if you're just digging at random into the ground, but hey, sometimes people get lucky. This could be the perfect spot. We might be sitting on a fortune and not know it yet." It didn't sound like he believed this and was only being polite.

"I hope so!" Kai weakly laughed.

Thump smiled wider. "Just think of it, pulling all kinds of precious metals out of the ground. Diamonds as fat as your fist. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Definitely!"

"We could do great things with that kind of money. Really fill things out. Proper furniture."

Kai winced. Now that Thump was here to see the dungeon, he found himself wishing it was more impressive.

"Toilet?"

Kai jerked out of his thoughts. "Sorry?"

"Where's the toilet?" Thump pointed at one of the goblin females trailing them. "Pinky looks like she needs it."

Pinky was holding a beach ball belly with both hands and doing the universal peepee dance.

Kai grew anxious. "Oh. Actually…we haven't gotten around to making any yet."

Thump looked grossed out. "You don't have toilets?" He looked around with his lips curled back like he was expecting to find piles of poo lying all over.

Kai hurriedly assured him, "We do! I mean, there's the pit traps."

"Ugh. You're not serious."

Kai awkwardly chuckled. "Ha. No. Of course not. Um, we've been going up into the forest. You know, just for now, until we can build some facilities."

Thump school his face, or attempted to, but he wasn't entirely fooling Kai. "Ok. That's not very safe, is it? And it's bound to attract things. Let people know the dungeon is here."

Kai felt bad. "Yeah. I know." He hung his head. Desperate to explain and get the man's approval back, he rambled while gesturing with his hands, "It's just, the dungeon is still low level, and it doesn't come with any bathroom features or anything right now. I'm hoping that kind of thing becomes available soon; we just need to get more experience. Although, I haven't entirely figured out how to do that yet. But, you know," he tried to inject a positive tone, hopeful, "maybe if she goes upstairs with another person or two? To look out for each other while they're outside? I'm sure they'll be fine."

Thump gave him a strange look. Then his eyes swept the room. He took a few steps, walking all the way to the arch that led to the next room. Then he spun, and his eyes pierced Kai's. "Low level? Experience? Is this…a magical dungeon?"

Kai's mouth opened, but he froze before speaking. Too late, he realized that maybe he should have kept that a secret from the people he'd only met minutes earlier. His brain fumbled far too long with trying to come up with a response.

A slow, very pleased smile crept over Thump's lips. "It is! Excellent! Wonderful!" He let out a big belly full of laughter. Reaching out to the dungeon wall, he placed a thick hand on it. Nodding to himself, he looked around as if seeing everything in a new light. Then he turned, strode over to Kai, bent down, and took Kai's shoulders in both hands. "This is very exciting news! Congratulations."

Overwhelmed by the chief's sudden and intense enthusiasm, Kai blurted out, "Thanks." He experienced the oddest sensation, like he was suddenly basking in the approval of a teacher or father figure. He should be far too old for such things, yet here he was, feeling like a shy kid all of a sudden, and kind of pleased about the approval.

Thump straightened and clapped his hands once. "Very exciting. Very. This is tremendous. Kai, you're my hero. Have you thought of the possibilities?"

Kai hesitated. "Kinda? I mean, it's mostly been a struggle to survive so far."

"Oh sure, sure. Of course. But you've already grown the dungeon somewhat? Or was it like this when you found it?"

Kai probably should have been a lot more cautious, but he found the man's energy infectious. "No, I didn't find it. I bought it, actually. It was just this little cube thing. I planted it in the ground and, you know, things happened. I gained some experience points and the dungeon started levelling."

"What is it at now?"

"Five. So, five floors so far."

"Good, Good!" Thump strode out of the room and down the hall to the other side of Floor 2, all smiles.

Seeing Pinky really dancing now, Kai zipped over to her side. "Sorry! Um, you really have to go, huh?"

She nodded with pained eyes.

"You'll have to go upstairs again. Back outside. Maybe someone could go with you?" He looked around, realizing there were many more goblins than he'd realized. There were probably around fifteen, though only a handful were adults, and the rest were children. Frowning, he noticed that all the adults were women. The chief's harem? And these were all his kids? So that's what he meant by family looking for a home.

One of the women, or perhaps a child on the verge of adulthood, took Pinky's arm. She looked despondent and angry at the same time. Her voice was sullen when she said, "I'll take her."

Kai wasn't sure the girl was in the best headspace to be looking out for anyone else, but he wasn't sure of how to say something like that without offending, and they were gone quickly. He smiled at the other goblins and told them to make themselves at home before jogging over to the other room to catch up with Thump.

Thump was already on his way out, still looking pleased. He pointed his thumb at the stairs down. "Shall we see the next floor?"

"Of course!" Kai led the way down the stone steps. He was halfway down before he remembered that the floor was empty but for a few torches. Again, the four rooms on this floor were laid in a row. None of the doorways in the dungeon had doors aside from the secret ones leading to the private areas, so you could see all the way down through the rooms.

Thump did so, looked around as if puzzled, then looked Kai in the eyes. "Rather bare, isn't it?"

Kai once more felt embarrassed and not good enough. "Yeah." Then an idea hit and he brightened. "Actually, it's just that we've been growing so fast, we have more space than we know what to do with. But how would you guys like the fourth floor?"

Thump acted as if he hadn't thought of that. "Oh! That would be…good. Yes, it'll be a tight fit, and we'll have to go up four floors every time we need to use the toilet…"

Kai mentally kicked himself. Why hadn't he figured out the toilet thing yet? And why didn't the dungeon already have stuff like that? Honesty! Who programmed in spiked pit traps and artificial lighting, but not a place to do your smelly business?

The other goblins, filing slowly in behind Kai and Thump, were whispering to each other, everyone busy studying their surroundings, nobody fully relaxed. Everyone kind of had that tense look you see on folks when they're house shopping and walking around a home, looking at features, while the realtor is always — right there — and won't piss off so you can talk amongst yourselves and say how you really feel about the place. Though they were glancing Kai's way, none of the goblins but the very youngest were making eye contact with him, and none had dared speak so far. They were all very much followers and Thump the one to talk and decide things.

Thump wandered into the next room, found it was identical to the first, and returned. He flashed that winning smile. "This really is something, isn't it? Just remarkable. I've heard of magical dungeons, but never been in one myself. You know, when we left the Great Warren, I wasn't sure if we'd find something as nice as this to settle in quite so soon."

Kai felt his interest quicken. "Great Warren?"

Thump nodded. "It's the largest goblin community in the region."

"Oh. Is it a big place?"

"Tens of thousands. Not as big as some." He made a face and waved his hand. "Glad to be rid of the place."

"Why's that?"

Thump scoffed. "Too many small minds. They've completely taken over the place. Not a forward thinker in the bunch. They're all so focused on the past, on doing things the same old way. They're literally incapable of imagining anything better."

"Wow. That sounds, uh, difficult?"

"You have no idea! You know, I was a very influential person back in Great Warren, very influential. I had the ear of the most powerful, most well-known, the richest goblins. They listened to me, they all listen to me, they all want to know what Thump has to say, you know why? Because I understand things. I see the future. I have big dreams, the biggest, the best. I want a world ten times — a hundred times! — Better than what we have. I tried to talk to them, tried to show them, but do they care? No. Can't see anything. Small minds."

"Like, how?"

"Like this thing with the elves. You seen this? The elves."

"Uh, I've heard of them."

"Right, so the elves. Used to be so big and powerful, right? Very stuck-up people, really think a lot of themselves. Look down on everybody, right? And then these humans come along. You ever seen a human?"

"A..few."

"Right. So you know. You know humans. Big, scary, incredibly ugly, but they're powerful. They're warriors. You wouldn't want to have sex with any of them, they are seriously hideous, but you gotta respect the power, am I right? So these humans show up, and the elves, again, small minds. Conservative. Stuck in the past. What happens? They disrespect the humans. Act all superior. Stupid, right? Utter morons!"

Kai didn't know what to say, so he just nodded.

"So these elves try to get all high and mighty with the humans, but the humans aren't havin' it. They tell the elves what's what. But do the elves clue in? Nah. Morons. Absolute idiots. They go to war with the humans. What happens? They get their damn heads chopped off!" Thump laughed, a touch cruelly. "And not just by the soldiers. Humans, they got these people they call adventurers. They send them into the forest after the elves to collect ears. I tell you, you gotta respect that. They show absolutely no mercy. You fuck with them, they will fuck you right back. And then they will take your ears, cut 'em right off, make trophies out of them, so the next time you see them, the next time you get the dumb idea of pissin' off a superior power, hey," he mimicked holding up a necklace, "see these? Yeah, the ears of all your loved ones. Yeah? So maybe shut your hole."

Kai felt uncertain. Was he supposed to be proud of being human or not in this situation? Or…now that he was no longer human, should he just laugh the way the goblin was? It was very confusing.

"Anyway, so like I was saying, the goblins in Great Warren, they're kind of friendly with the elves. I mean, we trade, ok? Goblins are good at making stuff, great at it, but sometimes you want variety, you know, so we trade with the elves. So I says to the guys on the council, this is a great opportunity. The elves are in shambles. City burned to the ground. They're desperate! We need to take advantage of that. I mean, these guys been rippin' us off for centuries just because they can. But they don't have an army anymore. All their precious toys and magic — poof. Gone. I say it's time for goblins to stand up for ourselves, turn the sword around, do things on our terms for once. You know what they say? Those council guys?"

"…no?"

"No. Exactly. Still scared of the elves. I can't believe it. Golden opportunity right there and they can't find the cock and stones to go after it. Small minded. But you know what? Fine. That's fine. There's another opportunity on the table, an even bigger one. You know what that is?" Thump turned an expression of gleeful anticipation on Kai.

Kai swallowed and thought fast. "Trade with the humans?"

Thump slapped Kai on the back, nearly knocking him off his feet. "See! You get it!"

Kai flushed with pride as he steadied himself. He replied, eager to prove himself on the same page, "Actually, I just reached out to the humans in the nearest village. Started setting up a trade arrangement."

Thump was astonished. "No."

"Yeah."

The big goblin laughed again. "Ha! Look at you! See, this is what I'm talkin' about. You're a forward thinker too! I love that about you!" Thump shook his head. "You're nothing like those small minds back in Great Warren. Couldn't take them anymore. I mean, you try to help people, but you can only do so much. If they refuse to even think about anything better…"

"So, that's why you left?"

Thump became totally dismissive. "Yep. Had enough of that place. If you're not growing, you're dying. So I left. Only took my family, too, so I could start fresh. Didn't want any of their old ways of thinking contaminating all my plans. Boy, are they gonna regret it after they see all the great things." He flashed another smile, this time with lots of teeth. He put a hand around Kai's shoulders. Then he waved at the dungeon before them. "Just look at it. It might be plain right now, just an empty dungeon, but just imagine all it could be. Together, you with your…you know, and me with my vision, my leadership, my brains, we're gonna make this dungeon great. You hear me?"

"Yeah!"

"You said your name was Kai, right?"

"Right."

"Kai, you and me, gremlins and kobolds and goblins: an alliance for the ages. This place. We're gonna be a team those guys in Great Warren are totally jealous of. Us, the make a great dungeon alliance. Ha! That has a nice ring to it. Make a great dungeon alliance. MAGDA. I love it!"

Everyone is different. Kai was someone who was genuinely a decent person. As such, no matter how many times he'd been betrayed or hurt by others, he instinctively had faith in new people. He wanted to trust them. He wanted to have a good, productive relationship with them. It wasn't in him to react with skepticism or caution; when someone was enthusiastic to get to know him, Kai naturally responded in kind.

So Kai found himself standing taller and brimming with excited energy. He could see it. The two of them together. It was such a relief that he'd have someone to help grow the dungeon now. He'd been so nervous about doing it himself and so worried about failing. And then the whole payment debacle had happened. But now with Chief Thump on board, he'd surely help them find a way to pay off the thousand gold and help Kai grow the dungeon even more. Kai wouldn't have to be alone and constantly worried about screwing up now. He couldn't believe his good luck!

Matching the goblin's grin, Kai could hardly stand in place. "This is awesome. I'm so excited. If you're sure you want to stay, then I'll add you to the system."

Thump only hesitated a second in thought. "Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Let's do it!" Thump laughed. "Team MAGDA. I can't wait!"

 

[TimBaril]

Kai returned to the Admin Room alone to add the goblins to the dungeon roster. He was tremendously excited by the addition. He could have taken the secret exit on that floor, but instinctively went up the public stairs without thinking why. On the way up the stairs, he passed the two goblins coming back from using the outdoor toilet, aka, the smelly hole in the ground, gathering an increasing amount of flies and potentially worse undesirables.

The pregnant goblin had one hand on her ripe belly and the other on the wall as she tried to navigate the steps. The other goblin, in brown clothes, had the neatest combination of pale green skin and deep red hair. She also had some lovely jewelry made of flowers.

He complimented her as he squeezed past the pair, "I like your earrings."

The redhead distractedly turned her eyes on him for a brief couple of seconds, showing how haunted and full of pain they were, before looking away again. She didn't bother to respond.

Kai wondered what had hurt her so badly that she looked that way, but felt too uncomfortable to ask it of a stranger. Isn't that always the case? How often do we pass someone in pain, confused, upset, lost, lonely, or suffering in some way, and…keep on walking? If you saw an old woman weeping on a bus stop bench, would you pause to ask if she's ok? Or would you think it too weird to do so? If you saw a man crying and screaming at a tree in the park, would you feel concerned enough to interrupt him and ask him if you could help? Or would the thought scare you away? Kai fought with his shyness, but by the time he worked up even half the courage to talk to her, the women were gone. He sighed, disappointed in himself, and continued up the staircase.

In the Admin Room, Kai found the goblins on his console and added them as residents.



Goblins (12)



Twelve??? That number must include the unborn ones. Either that or there were goblins he hadn't noticed? Strange… A new message distracted him:



Dungeon Master

Level 6



"Yes! Passive XP for the win!" He could grow the dungeon by developing it instead of relying strictly on death. That was ideal. The supply of rotten people, even adventurers, was probably limited.

He paused at that thought.

Then he laughed, and laughed. He laughed so hard that a tear formed in one eye, and he wiped it away. "The supply of rotten people is limited. Ha! That's hilarious. Also, fuck those guys."

Level 6 provided all new dungeon-building options! Excited, he plunged into the menus looking for new additions because the system didn't provide an update list. His jaw dropped. "Finally!" Grinning, he placed a toilet in the Admin Room to see how it was.

It was a rectangular box made of rough, unfinished wood, the kind that might give you splinters in the worst places. A hole was cut in the top.

Kai's face screwed up. "That's it? That's not very impressive." He leaned over the toilet and looked down into the hole, expecting some kind of magical plumbing or bottomless pit. He frowned and exclaimed, "Seriously?!" Grabbing the box, he lifted it off the floor; it came away easily. Where it had been was a plain ceramic pail. "Seriously?! Just a pail? This is the product of a legendary magical dungeon? You suck!"

Grumbling, he put the toilet seat down again. At the console, he reconfigured the Admin Room so that it had a cubby for the toilet. He put a door on the cubby as well. Instant bathroom. In a very basic sense. But what would they do with the pails after filling them?

Kai stood there thinking hard about it for a while. Then a realization hit him: they had a whole new floor now. He made some changes on the console, linking Floors 5 and 6. Publicly, you'd have to go through Floor 5 to get to 6, but residents could safely use the private stairs. He placed some torch lights on the walls, but was in a hurry to get back to his new residents. To make them welcome, he placed a cistern, two toilets, and more lights on Floor 4. They could rearrange things later, but this would be a start.

Something caught his eye, and he leaned close to the console screen. "You can turn torches off by twisting them sideways. Ha! Cool." There was a secret button on each that allowed the sconces to turn on the wall.

Perusing, he found new traps. That was a relief. First there was a trip wire. Very basic but the system indicated that they would upgrade in time. Right now, they could only trip someone, but in the future, he'd probably be able to add effects like a bomb going off or poison darts coming out of the walls. So he hoped. He placed a bunch of trip wires around the dungeon. He wondered if they would annoy residents. He'd have to check.

The second new trap was just… "Evil." He cackled and rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait to see this one in play." He placed this one on Floor 4 as well. Some new decorative items showed up: bones, rocks, and wall pillars. That was something he'd play around with later. For now, he wanted to get back to the goblins. He ran back downstairs.

To his surprise, Kai found the kobolds had all come out of hiding. About half had mixed with the goblin females and were happily chatting away and cooing over babies or bulging stomachs. From the slightly bemused expressions, but general happy atmosphere, and the way they awkwardly replied to questions, the goblins seemed to understand a smattering of the kobold language. There was one exception, the red-headed young woman. She stood on her own, leaning on the stone wall, staring at nothing, cheeks damp. She seemed very lonely.

The other half of the kobolds, including Rush and Rocky, were in a semicircle in front of Thump, who confidently towered over them like a king holding court, his lips twisted into cocky smirk.

The sight of the kobolds looking up at Thump with near worship in their expressions nearly threw Kai for a loop. He slowed to a walk as he approached. The kobolds chattered away amongst themselves, and all seemed to be asking Thump questions at once. It looked like fan girls mobbing an idol after a concert. He was giving short answers, his attention bouncing from one kobold to the other because they were all speaking at once. Rocky was bouncing on his toes, eagerly trying to get Thump's attention.

When Rush noticed Kai, he broke from the group and hustled over. Excited, he repeatedly clapped Kai on the shoulder. "You make home?" He pointed to Thump.

"Make them residents? Yeah! I guess they're going to live here too."

"Good good!" Rush practically vibrated. When he looked at Thump, there was hero worship in his eyes.

Kai was slightly put out from everyone's enthusiasm, but wasn't sure why. "Everyone's very excited?" He gestured to the kobolds.

Rush looked at Kai like he was strange. "Of course!"

"Because they're goblins?"

Rush impatiently shook his head. "Look." He pointed at Thump.

Kai didn't get it. "Because he's really big?" Thump was at least double everyone else's height, more like three times, about the height of a short human man. He did have some muscles.

Rush gave Kai like a look like Kai should really know this. "Skin."

"His skin?"

"Green and brown."

"…yeah?"

"Brown!"

"Uh huh."

"Color change!"

"Right. Wait. Goblins change colour?"

"Yes! Can change!" Rush pointed at Thump. "Be stronger. Get…uh…"

"New skills? Powers?"

"Yes! New powers!"

"So brown goblins are more evolved. Brown is best?"

Rush looked uncertain. "Don't know. Some is other colour. Start green. Then brown. Then…yellow, orange…tomato?"

"Red?"

"Red!"

Kai was flabbergasted. Goblins evolved into different coloured versions, perhaps with different powers. That was awesome. Guess they weren't trash mobs in this world. Or if they started that way, they didn't have to stay that way. He wondered if they used the same levelling system that the humans seemed to have, or if it was different. Maybe it was even something biological. He was very curious. He made a mental note to ask Thump about it when he wasn't being mobbed by eager new fans. Speaking of…

Yellow Flowers was in the thick of the female group, animatedly talking and holding a baby goblin. She laughed at something someone said and noticed Kai. Handing the baby back, she excused herself and bustled over. She waved, looking excited to see him. "Kai!"

He couldn't help but smile and wave back. "Hi."

She took his hands in hers and squeezed. "Goblins live?"

He chuckled. "Yes. Their home too now."

Her smile widened, and she was too overcome with emotion to properly reply. After opening and closing her mouth twice without speaking, she just leaned in and hugged him instead. It was very nice. She patted him on the arm and bustled back over to the women.

Thump seemed to notice Kai for the first time. He raised a hand and called out, "There he is! Come over here, Kai!" He beckoned with a hearty wave.

With all eyes suddenly on him, and under the power of Thump's charm, Kai stood taller than ever. He strode over, trying not to feel silly at the attention. His cheeks heated, and he wondered if gremlins blushed. Hoping he wasn't, he eased his way through the kobold throng, who obligingly made way, many clapping him on the shoulders and back. In that brief moment, Kai felt like the man. It was a very rare experience, and he didn't mind it at all.

Thump reached out and swept him in close so that the two stood side by side, a team. "We all got the invitation to become residents just now, and everyone's accepted. On behalf of my entire family, thank you." He gave Kai a manly nod.

Kai's chest was so full of pride that it was in danger of bursting. He saw everyone looking at him and fumbled with a response. "It's great to have you guys. I hope we can all be great friends."

Thump roared, "We're gonna make a great dungeon. The best." He possessively kept his hand around Kai's shoulders. "The make a great dungeon alliance. Am I right? MAGDA! Who's with me? Huh? Who's with me?" He raised a fist and cheered at the kobolds.

The kobolds probably didn't really understand his words, but his closeness to Kai and his strong attitude were infectious. Rush, Rocky, and the rest of the males in the group quickly cheered right along. The women weren't as vocal, but most smiled and seemed pleased.

Over the next couple of days, the dungeon was awash with activity. The addition of toilets was met with mixed emotions, but generally with relief. It turned out that the dungeon could generate different versions, including one for users with tails, which was nice, once the kobolds learned how to use the box and pail apparatus. A couple of older kobolds grumbled about it being unnatural to use a toilet, likely having spent their entire lives squatting in the forest or a cave, but it was also a lot easier than taking multiple flights of stairs to get outside the dangerous forest every time your aging bladder needed relief. Between risking wyverns and predatory trees, denting your dignity by using a box with a hole in it was the lesser evil. As a bonus, the little rooms with the thick metal doors were soundproof. Many people were thrilled with this advancement.

Likewise, the ability to turn lights on and off cheered folks because now they could make sleeping rooms dark. Another big quality of life upgrade. Of the two traps, the trip wires, thankfully, were immaterial to residents. People just passed right through when walking. The second trap, nobody could trigger, so it, too, was ignored. But, boy, was it gonna be funny when some adventurers finally discovered it.

Thump was everywhere. A people-person, he was constantly talking with others, most often the male kobolds, but sometimes the women too. His family, he seemed to largely interact with behind closed doors. He could often be seen shaking hands, smiling and laughing, making jokes that everyone laughed at.

Overnight, he became the biggest personality in the dungeon. With it came leadership. It seemed like everyone, Kai included, was running up to him to get his input on just about everything, and even if they weren't, he was quick to step in and offer his own perspective. Just about everyone soon came to rely on his expertise, whether it was about where to place a bathroom, how they should arrange the mining area (something he was very invested in, along with Rocky and Rush), how to build more defences in the dungeon, like barricades, and how to organize people for everything. After all, he was Chief Thump, used to managing people. He moved with such confidence and authority, surely, he had to be good at it, right?

By necessity, because Kai was the only one who could use the dungeon system, he had to be involved in a lot of conversations where the dungeon was changed. When it came to putting the toilet room on each floor, Kai was there as Thump put deep thought into the matter before snapping his fingers and making quick, decisive decisions. He also had questions.

Thump stood in the mining room, brow furrowed as he thought hard about the situation. "Ok. Here's what I like. What if we put the entrance there? Can we move the entrance? Does the dungeon allow that?"

Kai, unsure, had to go upstairs and check. When he returned, he replied, "There seems to be a timer on it. It's too soon to move it right now."

"Hmm. Ok. I see. That's too bad." Thump rested his chin on his fist, thinking more. Soon enough he said, "Ok, here's what we do." Then explained how they should lay out the mining area.

To Kai, it seemed an odd way to do it because the workflow didn't seem like it would be smooth, but what did he know? He kept his mouth shut, and the kobolds, hanging on Thump's every decision, put the plan into action, building tables and baskets to hold ore.

After Kai had been up and down the stairs at least six times to check things through the system and make changes, Thump finally turned to Kai. "It must be such a pain going up and down like that."

Kai wince. "Yup. My legs are killing me. I've never done this many stairs in my life." He was going to have to introduce the technology of the elevator to this world soon. Maybe escalators in the private section.

Thump looked sympathetic. Then he appeared to have a sudden idea. "Oh. You know, maybe it would be more efficient to have more than one person using the console. Have you thought about that?"

Kai hesitated. "Uh, I think only I can use it?"

"But you're not sure."

"Well…"

"It's ok. It's fine. I mean, if you don't mind all that running up and down. And, you know, every time we have even a little issue, day or night, someone has to come find you, maybe wake you up, just to do any little thing."

"True…"

"You know, if you want, and I'm not saying you have to, but if you want, if you feel comfortable enough, if you think that you can trust me, if you can see that I have everyone's best interests at heart and would do a good job, you could, you know, add me to the system as well."

"Make…make you an admin?"

"Sure. You know. Only if you want. I mean, I get it, hey, maybe you don't trust me. That's fair. I get it."

"No! Of course, I trust you!"

Thump appeared humbled. "Thank you. That means a lot." In a very persuasive tone, he continued, "Well, if you think you can trust me, it should make things a lot easier, adding me to the system. I mean, we're a team, right?" He flashed that winning smile. "We're gonna make this dungeon great. Super great. We already are, aren't we?"

"Yeah!" It had felt like a very productive and communal two days. Kai still felt awkward about the idea of adding Thump to the system as an administrator. Was that really the right thing to do? Under the other man's kindly gaze, trusted by someone who was obviously so competent and amazing, Kai couldn't come up with any reason not to add him. If they were going to do this thing together, then it made sense to share the responsibility and access, right?

Kai led Thump upstairs, and the big hobgoblin patiently waited with his hands behind his back, calmly admiring the Admin Room from the doorway. Kai nervously went to the console and dove into the main settings. He was pretty sure that adding another role like his was impossible.

To his surprise, there was a similar secondary role to Administrator called Manager. "Oh! It looks like I can add you."

Thump's smile spread wider.

Kai clicked on Thump's image in the system and clicked ADD.

 

[TimBaril]

As his eyes focused on an invisible screen in front of him, Thump made a satisfied nod. "Perfect." He pressed a button in the air, accepting the role of Manager. Tentatively, he pressed a hand to where the barrier across the doorway had been but encountered nothing. Smug, he stepped into the room. His hair flopped out of place as he did, and he instinctively swished it back into place. Then, with both hands on the bulge of his belly, he surveyed the room. That took about…three seconds. "Not much to it, is there?"

Kai awkwardly cleared his throat. He gave his grass bed the side eye. "It's a work in progress." Then he got excited. "But I have big ideas! I can expand the size of the room as I level up, right? The ceiling's a little low right now. I want to raise it up, then in that corner over there, I want to put one of those nets you can walk and lounge on, maybe a fun place to read or take a nap. Like you're a spider." He laughed. "I want to add another room for a proper bedroom. Maybe a bed sunken into the floor. Or one that's on a floating island and surrounded by water!" He tapped his lip in thought and frowned. "Actually, all that water might make me want to pee in the middle of the night."

Thump distractedly replied with, "Huh," but his attention was mostly on the console and screen.

Oblivious, Kai continued, "I was kind of thinking of my own apartment with a kitchen and stuff, but that seems like it would be kind of lonely. Maybe it would be nice to eat with the others, right? Like big, dungeon family dinners. Except sometimes they eat things I'm not really into, like people."

"Uh huh." Thump was only half-turned toward Kai now as he slowly drifted toward the console.

"Maybe like a snack area? And I'd love a library! Floor-to-ceiling shelves just stacked with wicked awesome books. I haven't seen any books yet, but I'm really curious to see what's out there. Maybe start a collection. Although if I keep them all in here, then nobody else can read them. That would suck. Can't have a proper library unless everyone has access, right? I don't think the kobolds read much. But they might like to learn!"

"Mmm." Thump was now at the console and began poking the controls.

Kai continued, happily rambling away, excited that he had someone to share with, "I love reading fantasy. Or I did. But if magic exists, do they even have a fantasy genre here, or is it just called contemp…counter…uh, like real life? Maybe fantasy books here are about guys in suits at an office all day, trying to make more money so they can marry a trophy wife, and the big bad dragon is just, like, the CEO of the company. And you slay him and take his hoard and his house. And his trophy wife becomes yours."

"Yes, that makes perfect sense." Thump seemed to be deep in the menus and options at this point.

Realizing that Thump wasn't interested in hearing about Kai's interior decorating plans, Kai tried not to feel bad at the lack of excitement and also turned to the console. A thought struck. A good one, so it didn't hurt. "Hey, maybe we should add Yellow Flowers as a manager too!"

Thump looked up, all his attention on Kai now. He seemed to give the notion serious thought, though he frowned too. "Well, that's an idea. That Yellow Flowers, she's something, isn't she? Wonderful person. Really wonderful. I love her. But I think it might be best to hold off for now. You don't want to grow the team in charge too fast. Too many chiefs and you end up spending more time talking than doing, and we really want to focus on good, effective progress right now. I think we should hang that idea on a stick and poke at it a little later."

"Poke? Stick?" Another example of local euphemisms throwing him for a loop. "Why would you…?" Asking about the expression would probably be weird. Maybe it was something everyone in this world knew. He shook his head, clearing the idea from his mind.

As Thump became highly engrossed in studying the console, Kai felt awkward just standing there. Thump wasn't asking questions or trying to engage in conversation. So Kai twiddled his thumbs for a bit, then decided to go touch grass. He took the back exit and went out into the forest.

It was easy to forget there was all that beautiful nature to be enjoyed when you were constantly in the dungeon. Kai wandered out into the forest and took some time to enjoy the sunlight on his smooth-but-bumpy green skin. He enjoyed the fresh air and the sounds of birds. The screech of a wyvern overhead was rather less peaceful. Recalling that he was prey now, he kept a wary red eye both on the surrounding forest and the sky above. And it's a good thing he did.

An insect the size of a pickup truck appeared in the distance. It was mottled green and brown, only its slow movement gave it away. The creature was cockroach-shaped, but with arms ending in crab-like pincers and a head like a stag beetle.

Kai watched it for almost a minute. His veins iced over with dread. Finally, his brain kicked back into gear. "Nope. Not staying out here anymore." He spun on his heel and retreated back into the dungeon.

Figuring he'd offer to help out where he could again, he went down to Floor 3 with the kobolds and the mine they were developing. He found Thump standing in the hall, his posture and tone commanding as he rapidly issued orders to everyone around him.

"Carry that over there. No, to the left. Fine. You, blue guy. I'd like to see shelves over there, ok? Good shelves. Tough ones. They have to hold rock, get me?"

"Yes, Chief."

"Good, go. You, Rockhead—"

"Rocky, great chief."

"Whatever. Take this load or waste rock and build a pile over there, across the entrance, will you. We want to block it off, make it harder to access."

Rocky looked at the chunks of raw stone chipped from the new mine. "Heavy. My old…"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Rocky weakly bowed his head. "Yes, Chief."

The female goblin with red hair gingerly approached. She still looked like she was grieving. "Father—"

He only glanced at her, his tone sharpening as he replied, "What did I tell you?"

She took a breath as if calming herself. "Chief Thump, the pregnant mothers are working too much. Gabby and Jez are both way too late in their term—"

"They're fine. You let me worry about that. You have your own job, don't you."

"Father—"

He backhanded her. Not cruelly, not angrily, just an automatic reaction, like he'd been slapping a mosquito. She lurched under the blow but didn't fall. He just stared at her, waiting.

She straightened. "Chief Thump—"

He finally fully turned to her. "Enough backtalk. Do your job. Now." He pointed down the hall.

The young woman hesitated, maybe thinking about trying to argue, but quickly turned and marched away.

Kai felt his stomach turn sick. This was not the version of Thump he'd seen earlier. Thump seemed to have entirely taken control, and the change in attitude shockingly sudden. His friendliness and charm from before were gone. He wasn't working with people anymore; he was telling everyone what to do. Kai took a couple of breaths of his own to find his courage and stepped up.

Thump didn't even look Kai's way, just continued to throw orders around.

For some reason, it was scary, but feeling like this was really important for everyone's sake, Kai raised a hand and his voice, and spoke to Thump in a way he hoped others would hear, "Hey, look, I appreciate that you've got leadership experience. I think that will be a real asset to all of us. But I think we were doing pretty well, working more communally. I don't think we really need anyone that much in charge, right? It's not like we're under attack or something." He weakly chuckled.

Thump slowly turned his head toward Kai. He didn't smile. In fact, he seemed annoyed, even a little affronted that someone would challenge him. He took a moment to reply, and in that second or two, everyone else, kobold and goblin alike, who were working on Floor 3, slowed to listen. "I think that's fine if you live in a peaceful place. But we're in the wilds. Who knows what dangers could find us? We need to get this dungeon in fighting form as soon as possible."

Kai didn't like this. Thump was suddenly acting very much the sole chief in charge, and Kai had to consciously remind himself that the dungeon was actually his, not Thump's. "Sure, that's understandable. But a top-down, authority-driven society isn't what we were really going for, and I don't think that's what's best here. I think everyone would be a lot happier if we worked together more, rather than just following one person's orders."

"Oh? So you're saying my orders are bad?"

"No—"

"You're saying I'm stupid? I don't know what I'm doing?"

"That's not—"

Thump stepped closer, challenging Kai. "I'm a chief. I've been a chief a long time. A very good chief. How about you? How much leadership experience do you have?"

"Well, none, I guess, but—"

"Oh, so you're the expert. Even though you have no idea what you're doing. I see." Thump gestured to the other people, now all standing there, rapt at the conflict between the one who'd invited everyone into the dungeon, and the big, impressive leader who stood bigger and taller, who was stronger and more able. Thump's voice was flat as he said, "Go ahead then. You want to be in charge? You want to lead them all to their deaths, is that it?"

"No—"

Thump spoke right over him, "Go on, go ahead then. Kill everyone. I'm not staying, though. My family and I are leaving. I don't feel like dying here." Suddenly, his demeanor changed again, now disgusted and dismissive, and he gave every impression of being absolutely done with Kai and the dungeon.

All around, people's eyes widened, and someone gasped with worry.

Even Kai felt a surge of panic at the idea of Thump leaving. "Wait! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

Thump snorted. He spoke mockingly, "Sure. Just tell me I'm a bad leader. Ask me to die. That's all."

Kai was at a loss. He wasn't used to situations like this and didn't know how to handle it. Instinctively, he tried to back off, flustered. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not very good at understanding or communicating sometimes."

Thump finally turned to meet Kai's eyes again. "So you're saying you want me to stay."

"Of course!"

"Well." Thump shrugged like he was undecided and had lost all enthusiasm for the dungeon. He looked away again. "We'll see."

Not wanting further conflict to drive Thump out of the dungeon and fearing he was somehow in the wrong, Kai excused himself, embarrassed in front of the goblins and kobolds watching him. He made himself scarce for a while.

An hour later, it was dinner time. People gathered, cooking and eating together on Floor 4 since Floor 3 was a mess from setting up the mine and barricades, and Floor 2 was cramped.

Kai, not wanting to eat alone, nervously approached Floor 4 from the back staircase. He stopped before entering. He wasn't looking forward to running into Thump again. The idea of arguing turned his stomach. Seeing only a few goblins and two kobolds caring for babies in the first room, entered, giving the others a smile that he was sure must have looked stupid. At the archway to the next room, he paused again.

Thump was at the far end of the room. He and Rush were alone in the corner, talking in hushed tones. Thump was bent over and had his hand on Rush's shoulder, his manner direct. They whispered back and forth, Thump breaking out his charming smile more than once before grinning, gripping Rush's shoulder tightly, and then patting him a couple of times. It was the same kind of intense, personal attention he'd given Kai before.

Thump moved into the next room. Kai could just see him wave to another kobold and pull him aside for another private conversation with shoulder poking, a wink, and a friendly air. There were plenty of people, and the rooms were small; Thump could easily have addressed lots of people if he'd wanted to. Why was he having these little side dialogues? Because he was trying to control the narrative? Win people over one by one, saying whatever he had to in order to get them on his side?

Rush saw Kai and came over. "Kai."

Kai suddenly choked up, almost unable to respond. Had Rush been turned against him? Kai had been feeling like they were becoming friends, so this might hurt. "Hey."

Rush's expression grew dark and uncertain. "Strange." He glanced over his shoulder at Thump.

Kai looked too. "Thump?" The hobgoblin was still actively working on the kobold in the other room.

"Yes. Strange. Talk of you. Of him. Say he is good chief. Not you. Want us help." Rush gritted his teeth and hissed. Then he looked resigned. "He is big. Very strong. More than us. More than all us together. Maybe everyone want him to be chief." He gave Kai an apologetic look, and he seemed sincere.

Kai soured, finally understanding what was going on. Thump was taking power. He was quietly trying to get people on his side so the next time Kai tried to object, Thump could count on support while Kai had none.

Thump's behaviour this whole time hadn't been genuine. Kai had just been caught up in an act, a victim of manipulative charm. A sleezy politician making you feel cared about and valued when they were really only out to use you to get what they wanted. Thump didn't want to be a part of the dungeon; he wanted to be in charge of it. Thump and Thump alone. Even if Kai was the owner, Thump was going to try to get everyone on his side and effectively take charge. Probably bully Kai into becoming a minion. If Kai continued to be spineless and let that happen.

Kai had made a very big mistake. He'd trusted Thump too quickly. But now, it seemed like Thump wasn't someone to trust at all. Kai needed to act, even if it meant angering Thump or causing him to leave the dungeon. He hardened his resolve. "I need to fix this." He ignored Rush's confusion and turned to race back upstairs. He needed to revoke Thump's manager role as soon as possible.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thump look up. He saw Kai. His hand rose, and he snapped his fingers.

A goblin seemingly stepped out of the wall. It was the first time that Kai had seen that particular goblin. He knew it because the goblin was male and dressed in shimmery gray cloth armour like a rogue or ninja. It must have had a camouflage effect, or the goblin had a skill. He'd remained hidden until choosing to reveal himself. The goblin rogue calmly stepped between Kai and the stairs, cutting Kai off. The rogue wasn't nearly as big as Thump, but he was easily twice Kai's size.

Kai whirled. Could he make it past Thump instead? He had to get up to the Admin Room.

But Thump was already marching back into the room, his orange hair falling into disarray but for once ignored, and he had a hard look in his eyes.

 

[TimBaril]

Vance



Vance, Feckle, and Peckle tromped through the forest…quietly. Nervously, one might say. On tiptoes and with a rather twitchy disposition, one might think.

Something snapped in the distance.

Vance's head whipped around, his eyes wild. He hissed, "Monster check!"

Feckle and Peckle were already back to back, heads bobbing and darting this way and that like a bird.

"I see nothing!"

"Where? Where is it? Bloody Mary, help me! I don't wanna die!"

The trio stood with chests heaving, on a knife-edge of panic, not that Vance would ever admit that he was that scared. They stayed frozen and extra wary for a good two minutes before they were ready to believe that a fresh death wasn't descending on them.

Vance was the first to relax. "It's fine. Fine. Totally fine. Just the wind. Probably."

Feckle anxiously nodded from behind his kite shield, but his eyes continued to survey the nearby forest. Thankfully, they were now in a region where the trees were old and the undergrowth sparse, making it more difficult for anything to sneak up on them.

Peckle gulped, the last to lower his guard even a little. He was very aware of being the weakest one in the group. "Guess we know why they told us to stay the fuck out of this forest."

Feckle rapidly nodded his head. "We're stupid. We're so stupid. We never should have come here. We are so low level."

Vance sourly growled, "Oh, shut it. We're alive, aren't we?"

Peckle shivered. "Only because you have so many healing potions."

"I'd have more if I hadn't brought you two along. You two owe me big time."

Feckle was pale. He'd been pale since after the goblin raid. "The minute I levelled up and got danger sense, it hasn't stopped going off! It's been screaming in my head this entire time!"

Vance arched a brow at him, not entirely as calm as he was pretending to be. "Still?"

Feckle paused and seemed to be listening to something only he could hear. Both his brows rose slightly. "Actually, either I'm getting used to it, or maybe it's gone down slightly?" He allowed his shield arm to relax somewhat, though he remained fairly tense. "It feels like, 'Run, you moron, run!' and not so much, 'You're already fucked!'"

Vance, however, took that as a good sign. "See? We're getting close to the edge of the forest again."

Peckle darkly muttered, "Hopefully."

Vance gave him an annoyed look. "You got a problem?"

Peckle's stress levels had gone so high that he was past caring about how subservient he should be around Vance. He pointed an accusing finger. "You said you knew which way the goblins had fled. Said you could track them. Said we were going in the right direction. Right before trees nearly ate us. Fruckin' trees!! Treants are supposed to be fictional!"

Feckle shook his head in disbelief. "Treants, man. The mouths on them…"

Peckle continued, "And then you told us to run, and we followed you. Right into a nest of leaf monsters—"

Feckle interjected, "Katiedudes."

Vance rolled his eyes. "Giant katydids." Then he, too, shivered.

Normally, katydids were nocturnal insects about the size of the leaves they imitated, and they had long stick-like legs. They were utterly harmless and quite cute. But here, some of the trees were quite large, and some of the leaves were rather broad, the size of dinner plates. They'd passed a trio of such trees, marvelling at their nature. Then Peckle had taken a leak against the trunk of one and somehow startled a few, which then caused hundreds of the insects to emerge from their daily slumber in full self-defence mode.

And these katydids' wings weren't just shaped like blades; they were blades. So when the startled insects began flitting from one tree to the next in panic, it filled the air with a storm of death. The trio of adventurers had all nearly lost their heads before ducking and running while only their armor had kept them alive. Only Vance's stock of healing potions had kept them from bleeding out.

Peckle was far from finished. "And then the mantis things. Mantises the size of bloody horses! Who punch so lightnin' quick you can't even see them damn arms movin'!" He was so shaken that his language skills were suffering, the legacy of a poorer upbringing that he usually tried to suppress.

Vance half-shrugged. Even he had to allow that the mantises had been bad. He'd been arrogant enough to try to fight one and nearly lost an arm before he could be within reach. They were far, far above Vance in terms of speed and power. Only the fact that the mantises walked so slowly had allowed them to flee for their lives — again.

Feckle shook his head. "I don't know how we managed to kill those goblins or how something so weak was living out here. But everything else is an insane gold rank threat or worse." He hunched his wide shoulders as he continuously checked the surroundings. "We gotta get out of here. I can't believe we're not dead yet."

Vance nodded, silently feeling the same but not wanting to look weak, but saying it out loud. "We're close. These woods look like the kind of forest where we came in. I don't think we'll have to spend another night out here."

Peckle nodded so fast, his neck might snap. "Th-th-the mothmen! We're not going through that again! Nope. Fruck no."

They'd come in the moonless night while sleeping rough. The mothmen were moths the size of swans, with wing spans wider than arm's reach. They were speckled brown and gray, and the dust they gave off made victims sleepy and lethargic. Their humanoid bodies had four arms, each ending in a needle-like point. They were very light but strong, so high-level that they were too strong for the three rookies to damage. Worst of all, they had super long, slithering tongues that they tried to send up your nose or into your ear to feed, worming all over your face as they tried to invade, wanting to suck the fluids out of your body.

All three shuddered at the same time.

Then Feckle's head sharply rose. He wildly looked around, raising his shield high again and gripping his axe hard. "Danger sense is up. Danger sense is back up!!"

Vance and Peckle jumped into defensive stances, Vance with both blade and rondel at the ready, Peckle knocking an arrow, ready to draw.

It came over a rise in the distance, maybe fifty meters away. Low and flat, it was an armoured tank two meters wide and at least eight long. The head was shaped like an arrowhead, the body a series of overlapping chitin plates, much like a trilobite beetle but far, far larger. But this one had nasty ridges along the sides with sicle-shaped hooks, and beady eyes that stared right at the trio of idiot humans like they were prey.

Peckle gulped at the sight of it. "Did…that thing just grin? It did. It's fruckin' grinning at us!"

They ran. They ran fast. The trilobite monster rolled over the landscape and wove in between trees with the skill of a centipede.

Thankfully, the beetle didn't seem big on long chases, and soon tired. Good thing, too, because running in chainmail was the worst. Vance was light on his feet thanks to his enchanted leather armour, but the other two laboured like beasts of burden in the summer sun. They eventually collapsed to their hands and knees, chests heaving great gulps of air.

Vance looked down at the pair with a measure of disdain. Actually, that's how he looked at them most of the time. This time it was because he knew he'd have been better off on this trip without the pair. They were just too much of a liability. Without them, he could have been sneaking around the forest and avoiding trouble altogether. At least, that's what he told himself, and he was arrogant enough to believe it.

Vance sheathed his weapons and got walking again. "Come on. This whole expedition has been a waste. The sooner we get out of here, the better." He was really annoyed.

Feckle picked himself up, dusted off his knees, and then helped Peckle to his feet as well. As they hurried and caught up to Vance, the trio walking a double-time pace, Feckle tried to cheer him up. "We didn't bag any non-green goblins. But we did find goblins. And we did see one that wasn't totally green."

Peckle agreeably added, "Yeah. It was, like, brown-green. That proves the theory, right?"

Vance scowled. "No. Because who's going to believe us without proof?" He reached into the magic bag on his waist and pulled out a string of fresh goblin heads, still dripping blood. They really only needed the ears, but he planned on piling these up at the Adventurers Guild to make an impact. He studied them yet again, though he'd already gone over them twice. His tone was full of disgust, "Not a single one is anything but common green. Boring."

One of the heads, male or female, they couldn't tell and couldn't care less, fell off the string and bounced on the ground. Feckle accidentally kicked it and sent it rolling across the forest floor.

Peckle laughed and somehow found the energy to chase after it. He danced with the head, bouncing it between his feet. "Look. Football." He clumsily played with the macabre 'ball' and then passed to Feckle.

Feckle, who was a keeper in the sport, flicked the head up with one foot and then tried to juggle it. He managed to bounce the head off his knees three times before the imperfect sphere went flying. He let out a laughing groan. "Ohhh. That was terrible."

Vance wasn't one to miss an opportunity to show off. He was, after all, a well-known striker, and showing off was the reason most strikers became strikers. He went after the head, caught it between both feet, then expertly flipped it up behind his back and over his head. Watching it closely as it came down in front of him, he caught it on his foot and proceeded to juggle much better than Feckle had.

Peckle laughed and clapped at the sight. "Yeah! That's sick. Sick!"

Proudly, Vance skillfully passed the ball to Feckle. "Psh. Easy."

Feckle caught it on his foot, then tried much harder to juggle. This time, he got up to eight bounces before passing to Peckle.

Peckle had more eagerness than skill. He repeatedly tried but couldn't even bounce the goblin head more than twice before losing it. "Bleh. I suck. It's not round enough."

Vance smirked. "You can't juggle a football much either."

"Can so! I've been getting better."

Feckle praised, "Yeah, you have. You'd been working hard at it." He always backed up his best friend.

Peckle nodded once with appreciation. "Yeah, I have." He tried to kick the head up into his hands with his feet and failed several times. Finally, he gave up and just picked the thing up. Kept in stasis, the head hadn't been able to rot, so it was still quite fresh. Peckle grabbed the dead goblin's jaw and worked it, mimicking a squeaky voice, "Look at me! I'm a football. I little, ugly football who smells like doodoo and looks like ass." He cackled. Then he made an underhanded throw to Feckle.

Feckle caught the head. He examined the face. "These things sure are weird-looking. Kind of elven but like the ugliest baby elves ever. Gross." He handed it back over to Vance, and the trio resumed their journey while Vance stuffed the head in his bag.

Peckle mused aloud, "You think they're related to elves, then? Maybe they were elves, but like, midget versions, and the elves who are all about being perfect and pretty all the time didn't want any small folk around, so they cast them out, and the small folk became goblins?"

Feckle mulled it over with a frown. "Hmm. But why are they green?"

"Cuz the forest is green?"

"So they became green over time."

Peckle jumped into a whole new theory. "Or maybe the elves did some kind of magical experiment on babies that turned them green and stunted their growth. And they kept them in cells, but they escaped one day into the forest, and now they live wild."

Vance snapped, "Don't drop your guard. We're not out of the woods yet."

Both Feckle and Peckle instantly grew more serious and leaped into monster checks.

Vance could have said something snarky about their elf-goblin theories, but kept silent. Nobody knew where goblins came from; it was assumed they were just another monster. But no sense in laughing even at such outlandish theories in case they turned out to be true. There were, after all, a bunch of elves living nearby.

They trekked in silence for some time. Which turned out to be fortunate for them. It would turn out to be very unfortunate for everyone else.

As they walked, everyone always on high alert, Vance was the first to spot movement in the distance. He held up a hand. The others froze. Then all three slowly lowered themselves and crouched.

There was a hill in the forest, not far away. A monster had appeared, one that was a very distinctive green. It seemed to come out of the hill and then go into some nearby bushes. Not long after, the creature returned to the hill and vanished.

Vance's frown and worry melted into a greedy smile. "Found you."

Feckle spoke as he stared at the spot where the goblin had gone. "Another lair, you think? Or is it the ones that escaped?"

Vance licked his lips. "Oh, I hope it's the big one. The brownish one. I want that thing so bad." He drew his weapons. "Let's find out, shall we? Feckle, at my side while I check for traps. Peckle, watch our backs. Make sure nothing sneaks up behind us."

Both silently nodded. Together, they crept through the oak forest toward the hill. They took it nice and slow, Vance keeping trees between them and their destination to help obscure them from anyone watching. Soon enough, they were at the edge of the hill, and there was no sign they'd been seen yet. They circled to where the goblin had been sighted.

Vance puzzled over the area. There was a distinct trail from the side of the hill to the group of bushes, but no cave or door that he could see. Even when he put a hand on the soil and grasses, pushing and pawing at it, trying to locate an opening.

Peckle whispered from the bushes, "Latrine." He wrinkled his nose, pinching it to block the smell. He flinched as a fly flew by his face.

Feckle also studied the place the goblin had gone. "Where'd it go?"

Vance became more aggressive in his search but still came up with nothing. He looked around. "I don't see an entrance. Either really well hidden or magic, maybe. Come on. Let's go around and see if there's another." He gestured to the right.

The trio quietly circled the hill, softly placing each step, always on the alert. Goblins were supposed to live in warrens and often laid traps everywhere. It was strange that the group encountered none. That led Vance to suspect that perhaps this wasn't an established lair, and that somehow the fleeing goblins had found a place to hide here. But where?

Then they came around the far side of the hill.

Vance grinned. "A cave."

Feckle and Peckle exchanged a smile and then fist bumped.

Vance took a deep breath, trying not to let his excitement get the better of him. "Feckle, how's that danger sense?"

Feckle considered. "I don't think it's changed much?"

"As bad as that armoured centipede thing?"

"Nah. Less. Still screaming like we should run, though."

Vance fairly tingled with anticipation. "We're going in. I'll go first to spot traps. Feckle, get ready to switch if we're attacked."

"Got it." Feckle hefted his shield and drew his axe.

"Peckle, that bow probably won't be very useful in tunnels."

Peckle looked disappointed. He shrugged. "Yeah. Fair. Got my long knife though. See how much room we got inside."

Vance could barely contain himself. If that off-green goblin was here, Vance was going to take his entire corpse back to the city and show the world. He'd be famous. Spinning his dagger in his hand, he stepped forward. "Let's go."

 

[TimBaril]

Kai



Kai jogged forward and tried to get around Thump, but Thump simply stepped in his way, using his bulk to block the archway between rooms. Kai tried to smile up at the large hobgoblin. "Hey. Sorry, just need to squeeze past." He tried to do just that.

But Thump wouldn't budge. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Oh, just need to check something upstairs. And, um, use the toilet."

Thumps brows rose. He gestured to one of the new toilets that had just been installed. "There's one right there."

Kai felt dumb and got flustered. "I…wanna use the one outside. I know, crazy. I guess I just like my privacy, and these don't have any yet. Excuse me." He tried to push his way past. But it was like trying to move a fridge. Thump wasn't going anywhere.

In fact, Thump barely seemed to notice the effort of Kai pathetically trying to reach past Thump's knee, his body caught between Thump and the archway. Thump blithely continued, "Ah, I can understand. There is more fresh air out there. We'll still have to work on the toilets in here. Find a better system."

"Right. Anyway, if I could just get past…"

Thump looked down and gave him an easy smile, totally fake of course, so that it felt more like a shark grinning down at his prey.

Kai's struggles weakened. He felt his stomach sinking. There was also this odd feeling stealing over him. He was also aware of how everyone else in the room was highly aware of the confrontation and was now staring: the female kobolds and goblins caring for babies, as well as Rush and the goblin rogue.

We spend our entire childhood with adults looking over us: parents and extended family, teachers, police. Everyone who is an adult is taller and possesses authority over us. They know more, they're wiser, and they're generally the boss of us. We get in the habit of listening when they speak and doing what they tell us to. We generally grow out of this feeling once we reach adulthood and can look other adults in the eye.

But that feeling we had as a child remains deeply entrenched, waiting. We might experience it again when confronted with someone bigger and taller than us, like meeting someone really tall or famous. It just kicks in, out of nowhere, and suddenly we're a kid again in their presence. We become more insecure, we look up to them as a natural authority figure, and it's easy to fall under their spell.

Kai hadn't really realized it, but this had been happening to him, and it was part of why Thump had charmed him so easily. Despite his loss of trust in Thump, as Kai stood at the much taller and bigger hobgoblin's feet, that sense of inferiority and weakness grew. Which is why, instead of putting up a fight, he was reacting weakly.

Thump bent over and used one of his large hands to effortlessly sweep Kai backwards into the room. He spoke loudly as he ushered Kai to the far side of the room, "You know, I respect you, Kai, I really do. Your enthusiasm and dedication to this community are admirable. That's part of why I felt so honored when you put your faith in me and asked me to be the leader of this dungeon."

His words shocked Kai. He hadn't made Thump leader. But he was too stunned and too busy being ushered through the room that he couldn't find his voice to object.

As they neared the private stairwell, Thump motioned with his head, signalling the rogue.

Without missing a beat, the rogue put a firm hand on Rush's shoulder while also sharply waving at the women to get out of the room. Rush, looking confused, allowed himself to be escorted to the next room. The women hurriedly picked up their babies and hastened after. In seconds, Thump and Kai were alone.

Kai eyed the stairs. He had to get to the Admin Room.

Thump guided Kai with a firm hand of his own and placed himself in front of the exit. Kai wasn't going to be able to make a run for it. He continued to smile, though with everyone else gone, it was less charming and had taken on a harder edge. His voice did too, "Kai, I think it would be a bad idea right now to elevate too many opinions regarding the leadership of this place. The dungeon is new, the community fragile. I think it's important that we have a unifying and strong voice at the top."

"Ok…"

"Now, I recognize that you originally came into possession of the dungeon, so I get that maybe you feel especially attached to it right now, maybe responsible."

Kai did! It was his dungeon.

"But the thing is, the dungeon has grown. There are others living here now. A lot of us. It was one thing looking after yourself, that's fine, and you should be proud. But now, I think maybe that's a little too much responsibility to put on your shoulders. Especially when you have no leadership experience."

Kai wanted to protest, but it was like the hobgoblin was in his head. And in the darkest places, bringing up Kai's fears.

"Now you know I'm a full chief. I have a lot of command and leadership experience. My tribe looks up to me, and there are people back home who were so sad to see me leave. Begged me to stay, to rise up the ranks and really lead the goblin people, begged me. It was touching, but I had to go. Had to forge a new path. Of course, it makes sense that you'd recognize that. But I think we have a misunderstanding. When you asked me to become the leader of the dungeon, I did not ask for help running it. I did not mean to set that expectation."

"But…it's my dungeon."

"It was. It's not anymore. It's our dungeon. All of ours. The kobolds, the goblins, even those little slimes you have. You can't be trying to hold onto control like that; it's selfish."

Kai's brain hit a bump in the road at that. It's true that there was a community here now. Was he being selfish by wanting to stay in control, for wanting to remove Thump?

"That being said, the dungeon is young. And so are you! I think there's plenty of time to grow into more of a role — we can all grow. But I hardly know you. Let me get to know you, get to know what you're capable of. Let me learn to trust you. I mean this respectfully, and I hope you can see that, because I like you, Kai, I really do, and I want us to have a long, profitable relationship." He renewed his smile. "Please share how you feel about this."

Kai's brain seemed not to be working right. He was confused. It would be good to talk this out with others, but he was alone with Thump. Somehow, he'd allowed himself to be isolated, which he saw as a red flag. "Maybe we could have this conversation with the others involved? Get more voices heard about who should be leader?" He glanced over at the archway and saw that it was packed with people watching but probably too far away to hear.

Thump grew serious and thoughtfully nodded. "You know, I've been speaking to people, lots of people, about this very thing, about leadership. I didn't want to bring it up publicly, you understand, for your sake. I was thinking about you. I didn't want you put on the spot or feeling embarrassed. Because the truth is, I'm very popular. Everyone understands what I bring to the battlefield; they see the ideas I have; they know how effective I am. They can see that I'm a real leader and they want that, they know it's what's best for them. I didn't want you to hear that in public, to feel blindsided. Because they like you, Kai, most people like you. Nobody wants to hurt your feelings. Almost no one.

Kai thoughts spun. Was Thump really doing this for Kai's sake? And what did he mean most people? Some people didn't like him? Who? He'd just met the goblins. Did some of the kobolds not like Kai? Had he done something wrong? Offended someone? It couldn't be Yellow Flower, could it? Or Rush? He was filled with doubt.

"Basically, what I'm saying is, that even though everyone wants me to be the leader of the dungeon, I don't want you to feel that everyone's against you. Don't believe that. They want you to stay. I want you to stay. So I'm asking you if, even if you're not leader, if you'd like to continue living in the dungeon with us."

Kai shook his head in disbelief. "Of course I want to keep living here."

"Good! Good. That's wonderful. So happy to hear that. Because there will always be a place for you here, as long as you're on board with what's best for everyone."

"Yeah, I want what's best for everyone!"

He beamed at Kai, seeming genuinely happy. "That's good to hear." He clapped Kai on the back. "I'm glad we talked. This is good. See? We're a great team. You keep growing, and I know you're going to take on more responsibility in the future. Be a real leader one day. I believe in you."

Kai was too fraught with emotion to answer. He felt strangely thankful to have the big hobgoblin's approval. And he felt guilty about wanting to be in control of the dungeon. Maybe he'd been selfish without realizing it.

Thump turned and guided Kai back into the room. "Let's get back to work. So much to do—"

An alarm went off in Kai's head. He jerked in surprise. "Invaders!"

Thump was instantly serious. "Invaders?" He evidently hadn't received the same kind of alert.

Kai nodded in horror. "I can't… There's an alarm and a buzzing going on in my head. It's really serious!" He looked up at Thump with wide eyes. "Something or someone really dangerous is in the dungeon!" He wouldn't be able to tell more until he got back to the Admin Room.

Thump marched to the archway, still escorting Kai. They paused in the archway and looked out. It seemed like just about everyone had gathered in the other Floor 4 rooms, likely drawn by the conversation between Thump and Kai. Many quiet conversations stilled at the sight of them.

Rush noticed the worry on Kai's face first. "What wrong? Problem?"

Kai blurted out, "Enemies in the dungeon! Danger! We need to get ready!"

Kobolds and goblins were two species that were used to being preyed on by bigger and stronger things. So when someone called out danger, they didn't sit around questioning it. That kind of thing got you dead, fast. Instead, they reacted more like birds. At the first hint of trouble, they took off.

Dungeon residents raced past Thump and Kai, going for the door to the private rooms. Only residents could go there, and they'd be safe. Or they should have been. Except when two goblin mothers tried to open the secret door, it remained a solid wall. Anxiety shot up all around the room.

Kai took a step toward the door but hesitated, expecting Thump to restrain him. But Thump made no effort at all to do so. So Kai ran to the secret door. He, too, tried to open it and found it locked shut. But why?

Yellow Flower came up, worry etched into her dragonic features. She gestured at the door. "Why?"

Kai struggled to answer, "I, I don't know. It should be open to us." He grasped for ideas. "Maybe it locked after enemies got into the dungeon. So we can't just escape."

She was confused and pleaded, "But…"

Kai could only shake his head. "I'm sorry. I don't get it. I don't know why it's like this."

Thump's lips pressed together. He seemed disappointed. "You see? This is what happens when someone without experience tries to be in charge; mistakes are made."

All eyes turned on Kai.

Kai felt a stab of guilt like a cold knife in his belly. Was this his fault? Was he going to get everyone killed?

Thump continued, "What's done is done. No sense worrying over it or pointing fingers." He raised his voice, and it was filled with the tone of command. "Everyone, listen up! Stay calm. Enemies are upon us. We are in danger. But I am here. As your new Dungeon Master, I bring a lot of experience, and I know that if we come together, we can survive this. Some of us may die. I'm sorry for that; the dungeon wasn't set up properly before I came. It's too late to change that."

A few people cast betrayed looks Kai's way.

His heart began picking up speed. He'd screwed up. Badly.

Thump raised a hand. "Women and children will hole up here. Warriors, anyone who can hold a weapon, form a wall. I am your Dungeon Master, and I will lead you through this. Have faith in me, and you will survive!"

Everyone sprang back into motion. Mothers bundled up babies and small children who were beginning to sense the turmoil around them and cry and wail in worry. Warriors dashed about, trying to find weapons.

Thump marched towards the stairs going up to the third floor. He had a very brave and heroic look to him. At the stairs, he turned back. "Everyone, make your stand here. I will see what we face. I might be able to handle it on my own. If not, I will need your help. There are traps, and they're going to throw the enemy off. We need to be there to take advantage of that. I shall return when I have more information.

Kai ran over to Thump. "I'll go to. Maybe I can get to the Admin Room from a different floor."

Thump shook his head and frowned. "We can't risk both of us going. There's no telling what's up there. I need you here, helping keep the others calm. If I fall, you'll get your chance to be a leader sooner than expected." Without waiting for a response, he dashed up the stairs, moving quite fast considering his fat belly.

Kai watched him go, still in a state of confusion and guilt. He strode back to the others. On Floor 4, the four rooms were in a row, like cars on a train. The women and children were in the furthest, the warriors in the second last, filling the archway and ready to sacrifice even their lives. Kobolds and goblins, side by side.

With no fighting experience, Kai felt even more useless. He had no leadership experience, no fighting experience. What the heck had he been thinking, trying to be the Dungeon Master? He probably wasn't going to be much use defending these people either.

He looked down at his hands. He did have some pretty big claws. And sharp teeth. And he was fast. He felt a surge of pride. He wasn't completely useless. He might be small now, but he could do his part. He needed to stop getting so down on himself and believe in himself more. He joined the ranks of the warriors, finding a spot next to Rush.

The kobold gave him a serious nod, as if recognizing him as a comrade.

Kai felt elated by the gesture. He didn't know what was coming, but he would fight. Then he blinked.

He was no longer in the dungeon. He was in the forest above, standing on grass with oak trees towering overhead, and the sun beaming down. He wildly looked in all directions, disturbed and confused. "What the—?"

He spotted the hill and the entrance to the cave in the distance. He stared at them. Very gradually, pieces in his mind started to tumble together into dawning realization. His eyes slowly widened. "Did I just get kicked from the dungeon?"

 

[TimBaril]

Kai clapped his head and screamed, "Nooo!" He fell to his knees. Kicked from his own dungeon. It was…almost too much to grasp. How could he have let this happen?

Thump. The liar hadn't run off to confront the invaders; he'd somehow run to the Admin Room to boot Kai. But how had he gotten into Admin?

Kai froze with a horrid new thought: the system hadn't naturally locked everyone out of the private areas; Thump had done it. He'd set the system up to lock people out while he still had access. Now everyone, including little children, were at risk to whatever had entered the dungeon. They hardly had any defenses yet. Everyone could die!

Kai became frantic with worry. How could he have been taken in by Thump so easily? How had he allowed this to happen? Scrabbling to his feet again, he rushed through the forest to the cave entrance. Barely slowly at the idea that the invaders might be ahead, he ran down the tunnel.

The drop-down door was closed. Whoever was in the dungeon was now locked in. Unfortunately, as Kai pressed on the door, banged it with his fist, and even kicked it, hurting his toes, the door refused to budge for him. He slumped against the wall. "No. How could I mess up so bad?" A tear trickled from one eye.

He was such an idiot. Letting himself get sucked into trusting someone like Thump, who only thought of himself. Now others were going to pay, probably the ultimate price.

Self-pity was overtaken by sudden anger. He threw himself at the door, pushing it with every scrap of strength in his little body. He needed to get inside! He needed to get to Admin! He screamed, "Open, damn you!"

As he poured his willpower into the effort, a digital clock display came into his vision. He blinked in surprise. It was a timer, counting down.

26:45

26:44

26:43

He sank to the ground and sat on the dirt. He was locked out for twenty-six more minutes. Who or what had gone inside? How bad would things be before he could get back in?

He hung his head. If he got back inside in time, he'd try to help. But maybe this whole situation was proof that he wasn't good enough to do this, not to be in charge of other people's lives. He couldn't even tell good people from bad. Maybe it would be best if he somehow handed the dungeon over to Yellow Flower or Rush. Or just let that scummy Fizzlesplooge guy reclaim the dungeon.

Kai scoffed with more self-pity, "I was an idiot to believe in myself." He focused on the timer again.

24:01

24:00

23:59

Another minute passed while Kai's anxiety rose. Then a rumble and the scraping of stone caught his attention. The door began to rise. Kai jumped to his feet.

A pair of green feet came into view. Then, a red-haired head ducked under, and a female goblin came out with a desperate expression, which only made her red-rimmed eyes and general sense of despair worse. She carried a double-moon-bladed axe and did a double-take at seeing him standing there. "You!" It was the goblin who'd seemed to be grieving since arriving.

Kai looked back and forth between her and the rising door. "How did you—?" He went for the entrance, but an invisible field prevented him from entering the dungeon. "Dammit!"

She frowned. "You can't get in?"

He sadly shook his head. "No. I'm locked out for another…twenty-one minutes and change."

She bunched a fist. "But you're the Dungeon Master, aren't you? The real one? Not…my father? I mean, Chief Thump."

"He's your father?" Kai's mouth worked, but he kept wanting to say something disparaging about the hob.

"Yeah. He's—" She choked up. "He's a…butt boils! He's a terrible goblin!" It appeared that saying that out loud had surprised even her. She shook that off and met his eyes. "You have to stop him!"

Kai threw his arms up. "I can't! I need to get to the Admin Room. But he somehow locked me out until that timer runs out. I have no idea how." He blushed and dropped his arms. "No, that's not fair. I didn't spend enough time studying the dungeon system. I don't know how it all works."

"Oh." She looked away.

He assumed she was disappointed in him, which he figured was deserved. "How did you get out? Didn't something get into the dungeon?"

"I was in the, what do you call it, the back section of Floor 2. Where we're supposed to be safe. I came out and saw the humans going down to Floor 3. Luckily, they didn't see me."

"But—" Kai eyed her axe, confused. "How did you know I was out here?"

She looked away. "I didn't."

"Then…?"

She took a deep breath, then looked back at him. "I recognized those humans. They're the ones who attacked us. Drove us from our new home. They…" She swallowed hard but forced herself to continue, "They killed many of us. My father sent my little brother to fight them. I wanted to help, but he dragged me off. And the others who are here now. I didn't see what happened to my brother. Or Peanut. They're probably dead, but—"

"But you want to see for yourself."

"Yeah. Maybe…maybe it's stupid, but if they're somehow alive out there? Injured maybe? Even if they're gone, I need to see." She furiously wiped away tears.

"I understand." And he did. "But…don't they need you here too?"

She shouted at him, "You don't think I know that?" Immediately, she realized she'd snapped and pulled back. "Sorry."

"It's ok. This is all my fault anyway. I never should have trusted Thump. I'm a horrible Dungeon Master. People are going to die because of me." He looked down. "Maybe I shouldn't even try to go back in. I'll probably just find a way to screw up and make everything worse."

There was a long pause. Then she let out a long breath. "You can't run away."

He looked up.

"I can't either. You're right; they need us." She hefted her axe. "This isn't your fault. Not for trusting someone. It's my father's fault." She snarled, "He's a manipulative sewer roach. That's why we had to leave the Great Warren. His turds finally caught up to him, and he burned too many people. He basically got kicked out and then forced us to go with him."

"So he makes a habit of this."

"Yeah. And when we finally managed to set up a new home, those humans attacked us. He's the biggest and strongest of us by far. But did he fight? No! He ran away. Like a coward. After sentencing my brother to death. After abandoning everyone. I hate him!"

Kai impulsively wanted to give her a hug, but the anger on her face and the axe in her hand caused him to put a pin in that idea for later. "The humans. They were bad? Strong? Stronger than Thump?"

She pulled herself out of her anger. "Maybe. They killed fast. There are three. Steel weapons."

Kai nodded. "Probably adventurers." He looked at the timer.

15:33

15:32

15:31

Kai focused on the girl. "What's your name?"

She blinked at him, then shook her head. "Firebell."

"Oh. Cool! Like fireball." He imagined her standing, feet spread wide, in all her green and red glory, a nasty-looking fireball in each hand, and a devilish glint in her eyes. 'You dared hurt me and my family? Then prepare to watch your world burn! Fireball! Fireball!' She cackled wildly, and the air hummed with the power of her mana. The villains around her screamed and turned to pillars of gray ash before bursting and floating away on the wind. Black smoke filled the sky. Firebell smugly regarded the dead before holding up her smoking hands and blowing on each like they were a pair of six shooters. Badass.

"It's a kind of flower." She touched an earring.

"Ah. Still cool." He looked through the opening to Floor 1. "If I can get to the Admin Room, maybe I can…I don't know. Do something, I hope. At least get the private areas open so people can flee. But…I'm still locked out for fifteen minutes."

Her lips pressed together. She looked him in the eye. "We need time."

He nodded, not thrilled about that.

"I need to buy us time."

He grew confused. "You do? You can?"

She rolled the axe in her hand. "Ok."

He saw her determination and became alarmed. "Ok?"

She took a deep breath. "Ok. I can do this."

He slid between her and the dungeon entrance. "Wait, wait, wait. It'll be dangerous. Really dangerous. You said these guys were killers." Kai tried to think of some other idea.

Hunching her shoulders, she stepped past him into the entrance, the invisible field doing nothing to stop her, and now he couldn't do anything either. "I'll be goblin about it. I'll figure something out."

Kai reached out and tried to grab her shoulder, but the invisible barrier prevented it. "You can't fight them!"

She put on a fierce look. "I'll do what I have to." Chin high, she lifted the axe with both hands. But she hesitated. Her features softened as she looked over her shoulder at him. "If you survive, please, go look for my brother. West of here, a couple of days' walk. Peanut, too, she's—" She looked forward again. Her spine straightened, but there was a tightness in her voice that meant she was near tears when she said, "Tell them I loved them." Then she marched over the pit trap that didn't react to residents, going right up to the stairway down. She peeked around the corner, then slunk into the stairwell on silent bare feet.

Kai helplessly pounded his little fist against the invisible barrier.

13:47

13:46

13:45



*



Vance



Vance crept down the tunnel in a crouch, his body tense and ready for trouble, his weapons in hand. His eyes swept the floor for signs of traps or trouble. It was just packed dirt as far as he could tell, with plenty of footprints. He was pretty sure there were both goblin and kobold prints. He wasn't entirely certain, of course, because he was a total greenhorn going off what he'd learned at the academy, and had no real-world experience until now. Not that he'd ever admit to that uncertainty.

At the end of the tunnel, he came to an open stone doorway. Maybe whatever door had been here in the past had rotted away. He looked through the opening and saw a single room lit by two burning torches. A very small chest rested against the far wall. He tsked. "I don't like small chests."

Peckle innocently piped up from behind, where he was positioned at Feckle's back. "Really? I do. Though, really, I'm all about the booty."

Feckle half-shrugged behind his shield. "Ahh, I'm partial to large chests myself. Although…some thick thighs…?" He threw Peckle a knowing look.

Peckle mused, "Yeah, that's fine. But a nice, juicy—"

Vance hissed, "Oi! Dumb and dumber. Can we act a little more professional here and shut the fuck up before you idiots get us all killed?"

Both appeared abashed and resumed more serious poses.

Vance shook his head and resolved to ditch them after this trip. He was far better off solo. Sidling up to the corner of the opening to the room, he ran his gaze all over, looking for danger. He activated [Detect Traps], a basic skill for exactly this kind of scenario. His level wasn't high enough to reveal really cunningly hidden mechanical or magical traps — yet. But the more he practiced, the better.

A faint glowing outline appeared on the floor. Possible pit trap or pressure plate. He studied the walls for tell-tale holes where darts or spikes might come out once triggered. He didn't see any. Anything that might drop from the ceiling? …not that he could spot. He sheathed his rondel and pulled out an extendable rod. With it, he probed the suspicious section of the floor. Nothing happened. Too advanced, maybe. He extended a foot and put just a hint of weight on the square. Then a little more.

The floor fell away, revealing a pit trap full of spikes. When Vance cautiously peered down, he saw bones and a wet glint, possibly a slime or ooze. With agile ease, Vance danced around the pit and over to the other side. No further traps sprang. He waved the others forward.

Facing the stairs, he squatted next to the small chest. He probed it but disturbed nothing. Pocketing the probe, he reached out and lifted the lid. The chest wasn't even locked. Inside was… "A few coins and rotten pie?"

Feckle thunked down nearby after jumping over the trap. "There's pie in the chest?"

Peckle ran and jumped, barely clearing the pit. He took hold of his bowstring again. "If there's food in the chest, doesn't that mean someone's been here?"

Feckle was peering down into the trap. "Someone was here."

Peckle joined him. "Think that's their pie?"

Vance regarded the mouldy pie with further uncertainty he didn't care for. "Is that corpse human down there?"

Feckle shrugged. "Dunno. Hard to tell."

Vance plucked the few coins out of the chest and pocketed them. It might be next to nothing, but he'd be damned if he'd leave any loot behind. "Maybe goblins make pie, and they're so stupid they thought it was treasure."

That caught Peckle's interest, and he wandered over and craned over Vance's shoulder. "Could be really good pie, if they think it's a treasure. How mouldy is it? Meh, doesn't look so bad. Just scrape it off, hey?"

Vance snapped the lid shut. "Peckle. Don't eat the cursed pie."

Peckle continued to stare at the chest. "You think it's cursed?" He sniffed. "Smells ok."

Feckled patted Peckle on the shoulder. "I don't think you can smell curses. Besides, what if you eat it and it doesn't agree with you, and there are no toilets in this place?"

Peckle finally straightened and regarded the chest with mild disappointment. "Yeah, guess so. Oh. That's probably why the dung holes outside."

Vance closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Ok, Peckle. Go ahead. Eat the pie. If it kills you, more glory for the rest of us when we don't have to share. We'll toss you in the pit too. I'm not hauling your ass back to the city."

"All right, all right. Point made. I'll not eat the pie then. Was just…curious is all."

Feckle elbowed his friend. "Let's hit Madelain's when we get back to the city?"

Peckle brightened. "Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Lots of great buns there. Good baked goods too."

Vance mentally told himself not to kill Peckle for being an idiot. Then he had a better idea: if Vance were ever uncertain about traps, he'd send Peckle in first to spring any. Focusing on the job at hand, he silently crept into the stairwell. One cautious step at a time, he descended.

Perhaps if he'd been experienced, he'd have moved faster. After all, the goblins they'd fought had been super weak. But this was regarded as a very dangerous area, and they'd come across some truly nasty monsters in the forest. It seemed highly plausible that such things might be living in here. Although the fact the entrance was so small and there were goblins here made him think there shouldn't be anything too dangerous. If they ran into something too strong, they'd just make a run for it. Maybe he'd sacrifice Peckle to whatever monster came for him in order to buy time. That thought perked him right up, and he smiled.

As all three entered the stairwell, stone rumbled, and a deafening crash shook the ground.