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Federated Suns Reforged
- Thread starter Docwade
- Start date
drakensis
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- May 23, 2015
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Hanse and Ian's conversation about the captured jumpship takes place twice. I barely had to scroll between the instances.. I think the first one shouldn't be there.
One belonged to Arden. - you mean Ardan
"You're flying that all the way back?" - Valkyrie battlemechs don't fly unless someone turned it into a LAM
"What am I holding?"
Ian asked.
Why is there a line break between these two bits of text? They appear to be a single sentence.
There's also a very large amount of information arriving from Mallory's World. That's not technically impossible, but it's very unlikely. Remember, the House Lords do not control most of their own interstellar communications. It's more likely that message 1 is a priority "DCMS was 24 hours from landing on Mallory's World 18 hours ago." And Message 2 might be a detailed break down that's a week or two old, with other messages from Robinson advising what is being planned as a response.
This isn't 21st century strategic command loops. It's 18th century
One belonged to Arden. - you mean Ardan
"You're flying that all the way back?" - Valkyrie battlemechs don't fly unless someone turned it into a LAM
"What am I holding?"
Ian asked.
Why is there a line break between these two bits of text? They appear to be a single sentence.
There's also a very large amount of information arriving from Mallory's World. That's not technically impossible, but it's very unlikely. Remember, the House Lords do not control most of their own interstellar communications. It's more likely that message 1 is a priority "DCMS was 24 hours from landing on Mallory's World 18 hours ago." And Message 2 might be a detailed break down that's a week or two old, with other messages from Robinson advising what is being planned as a response.
This isn't 21st century strategic command loops. It's 18th century