Handsome Jack: The Hero?

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 1: Welcome to Pandora

It was hard to breathe, I couldn't even open both my eyes. I tried to settle for one and blearily glanced down at myself to see my clothes covered in blood, most of it wasn't even mine. I felt a weight at my side and saw the body of a beautiful woman. She was caked in blood.

I don't- I don't remember what happened.

Did I do this?

Panic starts to set in, and if I wasn't struggling to breath, I'd probably be hyperventilating. Calm down. Calm down! I just gotta think, what happened?!

I look at my hands, and while they're bloody, they're unarmed. I couldn't have killed her. The thought almost brought me relief. Until it didn't.

Because if I didn't do this, who did?

The sobbing answered my question.

I looked up to see a young girl, she didn't even look ten years old. Angel, her name pops into my mind. How did I know that? How do I know her? I've never seen her before in my life. But she seems so familiar.

"Angel." I coughed out, trying to remember.

Her head shot up, and she gazed at me with frantic eyes. "Daddy?" She whispered. I tried to move, to tell her it was gonna be alright, but my body disagreed. I groaned in pain, and she jumped to her feet.

"Daddy!" She screamed, rushing towards me, and wrapping me tight in her arms, as far as they could reach anyway. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Daddy?

"It's okay." I soothe her, almost by reflex. "It's not your fault. It's gonna be okay."

She keeps apologizing desperately, crying into my blood-soaked shirt. "I was scared. I just wanted to go home!"

"We will." I told her breathlessly, fighting to remain conscious. "I promise. Everything's going to be alright." I smiled at her, trying to lift her spirits.

She still cries, but I think I could hear some choked sobs of relief now. I think. I guess it is kind of hard to tell the difference. Crying pretty much sounds the same however you do it. That and I'm definitely losing consciousness.

"Daddy?" Angel shakes me, looking worried.

I look up at her big, teary eyes, and before I pass out, I say the most important thing that I could have. "You're gonna have to call the hospital sweetie."

And then I fainted.

Heroically.

...​

'I gotta get away from there more often.' I thought to myself, coming home from another "Day in Paradise" from Hyperion.

I hate that place, but what am I gonna do? Quit? I got a family to look after. Plus, the pay is pretty great. Not that it's the main reason! Just a nice side benefit.

Besides, at least I get to come home from that Hellhole, to actual paradise.

"Captain Bear, who is a bear, he is a bear, Captain Bear." I heard Angel singing from behind the front door and smiled softly.

Who'd have thought? Me, of all people, a dad.

Good thing she took after her mother, she wouldn't be nearly as cute if she took after me.

"Hey Angel." I greeted her warmly, grinning down at her, and her toy bear. That's new. "And who is this guy?"

"Captain Bear!" She cheered, holding it tightly. "He eats crime." She added, like it was obvious.

I, of course, played along. "Well, he must eat a lot with that big belly, huh?" I asked her teasingly. A strange blue pattern on her left arm caught my eye, and my concern. "Angel, darling, what's uh, what's that on your arm?" I try to ask her nonchalantly. "Did you do that?"

"Blue!" She told me happily, while shrugging. "I don't know where it came from. Do you think it's pretty?" She asked me hopefully.

Oh no… "Yeah, sweetheart. It's… it's real pretty." I answer her cautiously. "Hey, uh honey?!" I call for my wife, as calmly but as urgently as I can. "Can you get in here for a minute?"

The memory's fading, but I can still feel the anxiety.

...​

"Stupid… goddamn… piece of crap asshole!" I screamed under my breath. Venting all of my frustration on the poor, broken, vending machine.

This wasn't good. Angel wasn't good!

Where did I go wrong?! How could this have happened? There are only six sirens alive at any moment in time. Why did one of them have to be my little girl? I fought back tears as the reality of the situation started to sink in.

"What's a "asshole"?"

Crap! I turned around abruptly, to see Angel waiting behind me. "Oh, Angel! Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there." I could see her face scrunch up in confusion, and I realized what she just asked. "Uh- don't say any of those words that daddy said, okay?"

"Okay." She answered unphased. "Is the machine broken?" She asked, turning her gaze to the current source of my ire.

"Yeah. Looks like no candy for us." I muttered angrily. "Hey- why don't you go back to the waiting room with mommy, darling? The doctor's gonna be here any minute, okay?" Not sure how much help he can actually be. But at this point, I'd try voodoo.

"I think I can fix it." She told me uncertainly, but happy to try.

Angel waved her left arm, and her tattoos glowed. Then everything in the vending machine dropped out. No. No! "What…!" I choked, overwhelmed by shock. "... the hell did you just do?" I finished in panic.

"What's wrong, daddy?" She asked me, in worry and fear, and just a hint of sadness.

It's hard to remember what I said, what I did, but I remember the look on her face. I remember the terror I felt at that moment. But I wasn't afraid of her. I was afraid for her.

I knew what was coming.

...​

"Mommy! Daddy! Help!" Angel screamed in terror, tears running down her face. Fighting desperately against the bandit who held her.

"Look, you filthy bandit!" I shouted in anger. Calm down Jack, you need to be calm, you need to be strong for them. "Just- give us back our daughter, okay?" I asked in barely concealed rage.

"Are you kidding?" The large, disgusting bandit scoffed obnoxiously. "She's a freaking Siren. I'm gonna be a trillionaire! You and your wife get out of here before I sick my turret on you. Forget the kid, go make another one!"

Forget Tassiter, forget Grandma, I have never wanted to kill someone before so much as I did right now.

"No!" Angel cried. "I wanna go home!"

The bandit didn't like that. "Shut up, kid or I'll...!" He paused as Angel began to subconsciously use her powers on his turret. "Hey, what the…?" He backed up in fear as Angel lost control.

"I! WANNA! GO! HOME!" She screamed in anger, fear, and desperation. The turret obliged her. The bandit was ripped apart by his own turret. But it didn't stop there.

"Honey! Get down!" I yelled in worry, trying to pull my wife out of the line of fire.

But…

It was too late.

I did everything I could to save her, I tried to shield her with my own body, but she was just... gone… Angel killed them.

And as I looked down at my battered body, I realized she might have killed me too. I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, I couldn't even open both of my eyes.

All I remember was hearing Angel painted breath, as she looked at what she had done. "...Mommy? Daddy?"

And then… Well…. I remember what happened after that.

But that name… Why did I call myself "Jack"?

...​

Breath, just breath. I opened my eyes, thank God I can see out of both of them now. And then I look around.

I'm in a hospital room, laying down in a bed I'm sure they designed to be uncomfortable. I can see Angel sleeping in a chair, all curled up. She's… my daughter.

I'm her father, Jack.

I'm Jack.

I know where I've seen this before! This is Borderlands! I'm in Borderlands! And I'm Handsome Jack… the bad guy.

Well that killed my good mood.

Too bad, I needed that, what with being in the hospital and all. Actually, speaking of, how bad was I hurt? My arms and legs feel fine, so I'm not crippled. Cool. My chest is still a bit sore, but I'm not bleeding out. That's a plus.

And my face… I hesitantly reach a hand to touch it, and yep… sure enough, that's not skin. I'm wearing the friggin mask, aren't I?

Honestly, that doesn't make any sense at all, Handsome Jack didn't wear the mask until Lilith "jacked" up his face. My face. Yup, that's uh- that's gonna take some getting used to. This has not been a good day.

I guess Angel probably heard me groaning because she's stirring awake. I see her eyes flutter open, before hazily looking at me. She saw me looking back, and instantly woke up. "Daddy?" She asked hopefully.

I smiled at her. "Hey kiddo." I said a bit raspy, guess my throat's a little dry.

Angel got teary eyes, full of joy, and rushed over to me. "You're okay!" She sounded so happy… if she knew who I really was… no. It doesn't matter, I'm Jack now.

"Yup, I'm just peachy." I tell her, trying to hide my sarcasm. I grabbed her shoulders and looked her over. "How about you, darling? Are you okay?"

She sniffed. "No." She rubbed her eyes and looked into mine. "Daddy, I'm so so-"

"Don't be." I told her, pulling her in for a hug. "It wasn't your fault, I know you'd never hurt us like that."

"But Mommy's-"

"Mommy's gone." I cut her off. "But she's in a better place, and I promise you, she doesn't blame you either."

Angel continued to cry into my arms a bit longer, before pulling back. She raised her hand and touched my mask. "I did this." She said, heartbroken.

"You couldn't control your powers." I consoled her. "You were afraid, and they acted out."

"But what if I-" She started meekly. "What if I lose control again?"

"You won't." I answer her gently. "We're gonna figure out how to use your powers, okay? Together."

"Okay." She lowers her hand.

I grab it firmly and give her the best smile I can. "Now give it to me straight Doc." I told her jokingly. "Am I still handsome?"

She giggled. "You never were."

"Oh, no!" I gasped in mock horror. "Can this day get any worse?!"

"Yes, sir." Angel answered solemnly, betrayed by her smile.

"What's that Doctor?"

"Well Mr. Dad." Angel replied in her best "Doctor" voice. Ha, she thinks my name is dad. "I'm afraid you're dying, and you don't have much time."

"How awful! How long do I have?"

"Ten." She answered, trying to hide her smile.

"Ten what? Months, weeks, days?" I asked her playfully.

"Ten... nine… eight... seven-" Angel counted down, only to be interrupted by me tickling her. "Daddy!" She exclaimed joyfully. "Stop!"

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me!" I announced while laughing, as she tried to tickle me back. "Easy, kiddo, I'm the one in the hospital."

She didn't seem to mind, she was pretty relentless. "It stops when you give up!" She jokingly threatened.

I just chuckled and raised my hands. "Okay, okay. I surrender, sweetie." I smile down at her for a moment. "Hey, why don't you get the nurse so I can pay the bill and we can leave this joint."

"Okay, daddy." She was about to leave, but she stopped to give me a tight hug. "I love you."

"I love you too, Angel." I told her sincerely. "Don't worry, alright? Everything is gonna be fine."

...​

Everything is gonna be fine.

Her dad said so, so it's gotta be true. He wouldn't lie to her. Angel didn't have any doubts about that. But she was still pretty worried.

She was scared.

But not as much as she was when- when her mom died. She couldn't control her powers, she couldn't herself. And her mom died because of it, and her dad…

Angel loved him, and she was so glad he was still alive. But he seemed… different. A good difference. Not counting the mask… at least he didn't seem too worried about it.

Maybe she's overthinking it.

Her dad was okay, at least he was okay as he could be. And he didn't blame her for what happened. Not that it stopped her from blaming herself. Every time she looks at him from now on, at his face… at the mask of his face, she's going to remember what she'd done.

It was still so much better than it could have been. For a moment there, a very scary moment, she was worried that she killed them both. That the two people she loved most in the world were gone because of her.

Angel really missed her mom.

She couldn't believe that she was really gone. It all happened so fast.

At least she still had her dad. And he was right, they're going to figure out how to control her powers. They had too.

...​

Author's Note: Semi Important, read if you want.

I'm already about forty-nine chapters ahead on Fanfiction.Net and SpaceBattles with this fic, and another five on Patreon. I'm only going to be posting one chapter a day on this site, until it's caught up with the others, so, if you want to catch up, feel free to check it out over there. Oh! And if you wanted to support me on Patreon, please do! Here's the link:

My Patreon

 

[deadreeper]

Glad you posted here as it reminded me of this story I stopped reading a long time ago when I got to the last ch at that time and forgot about it after waiting for bunch of new ch.

 

[Despacitoleo]

yay borderlands fanfic

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 2 Get to Know Jack

Heterochromia.

It's the technical term for having two different eye colors. It had something to do with genetics, but I didn't pay that much attention in class. It's what Jack- what I have. Or had, I guess. Doc said the shrapnel took out my original eye, so they hooked me up with an Echo eye.

These Echo products, pretty nifty. They're virtually the high-tech Apple products of the galaxy, or android or whatever you crazy kids are using nowadays. Not Samsung though, never Samsung.

Anyways, the new eye is still pretty cool, they even made it the same color. They also issued me the mask of my own face. And let me tell you, it is as iconic as it is ridiculous.

I'm still not sure why the original Jack wore it, he could have easily gotten plastic surgery. Instead he had a mask that looked and acted just like his face, stapled to his face. Of course, now that I'm wearing it, I kind of get it.

It is super comfy.

'Didn't stop it from looking a little off though.' I reflected to myself, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

Of course, the mask wasn't the only strange thing about today's attire. The black suit, the tie, the flowers. Well, that means I'm either going to a wedding or a funeral.

"Dad?" Angel called softly, down the hall.

I'll give you a hint, it's not a wedding.

I sighed to myself, as I straightened my tie, and picked up the flowers. "Yeah, sweetie?"

"When does the funeral start?" She asked, despondent.

"A couple of hours." I told her carefully, trying to see if I could make this… any of this easier for her. "We won't miss it." I said firmly.

"Okay." She seems to hesitate, before asking me carefully. "How long do I have to wear this?"

I know she didn't mean that little black dress, though I could tell she was practically squirming in it. She was looking at her left arm, her seemingly unmarked left arm.

"Angel," I start gently. "We talked about this…"

A couple of days after we left the hospital, I got the bright idea to cover up her tattoos. Of course, I first thought of doing it by making her wear a jacket, or long sleeve clothes everywhere, which wasn't my brightest idea.

Mainly because we live on Edan 5, which was primarily a garden world- err moon, whatever. Either way it's practically just a mildly warm and a little bit breezy kind of environment on an orb floating in space. It's also not really a place for coats.

Thankfully, I remembered a trick that an old friend showed me. He was going to an interview, and had to cover up his tats, they were not classy. So, he used this alcohol activated makeup, it's water resistant so you'd need a special product to get it off.

So, a bit of concealer here, some dabbing there, and presto! One completely normal looking little girl that is most definitely not a Siren.

It can't actually stop her powers, but at least now she won't be kidnapped on site.

Baby steps.

I just wish Angel agreed. "I like my tattoos." She complained. Looking a little pouty, in that adorable way all grumpy kids seemed to manage.

I just grinned and reached a hand down to mess up her hair. "C'mon kiddo, it's not so bad. When you're older, you'll want to use makeup all the time." I mocked, trying to switch topics subtly.

"Dad!" Angel screamed annoyed. But at least I got her to smile.

"I'm serious." I added, holding back a laugh. "Soon enough, you'll be spending your college tuition on designer clothes, and expensive lotions and shampoos you could've gotten at the Dollar Store."

"Stop." She demands, while giggling.

"Okay, darling." I "reluctantly" tell her. Crisis averted. "You ready? We should probably head out soon, don't want to miss our flight."

"Ready." Angel answered immediately.

Oh really?

"Are you sure?" I asked her half teasingly, half serious.

"Yes."

"Are you sure, you're sure?" I checked again.

"Yes." She answered a bit annoyed.

"Okaayy." I drawled. "Let's go-"

"Wait!" Angel interrupts, before rushing back to her room.

Kids.

She comes back about two minutes later, looking a little flustered, but satisfied. "Ready." She repeats, a bit more genuinely this time.

I bent down and gave a light, but enthusiastic punch to her shoulder. "That's my girl!" I cheered. Getting one last smile out of her. "Now come on, we really don't want to miss this."

Yeah… that flight I'm talking about, it's not a plane. It's a ship, a spaceship. I'm going to friggin space! For a funeral for my dead wife…

Man, it is just so easy to kill the mood, right?

Whatever, I'm still pretty excited! How many people can say they've been to space! Well, like besides from the people here. Nevermind, this is gonna be great. Really great, it's all just so great.

...​

'This isn't as great as I thought it'd be.' I thought to myself, moodily.

Did I say moodily? I meant something cool like, broodingly, and enraged, or… yeah, okay. I'm moody. You happy? Great, cause I'm not.

Forget what I said, it doesn't matter if your flight is on a plane, a spaceship, or the stairway to heaven. Having so many other people to deal with and talk to just really kills the amazement. This was supposed to be fun for me.

They murdered my fun.

It will be avenged… or not. I'm not actually Handsome Jack. There's a difference between justified and petty. Although, if I'm being honest…

I'm starting to remember more.

Hell, I'm feeling more, thinking more. Jack's thoughts, his memories, his brain,that stuff's catching up. Nothing uber important yet, just the basic stuff you know.

His birthday, Angel's birthday, how to code the crap out of Hyperion's network, my grandma drowning my kitten after I forgot to clean my bed... Those last two weren't very basic, huh. Whoops!

I might be catching his personality too… nah. I've always been a bit of an asshole, but at least I'm funny about it! Then again, so was Jack…

Well, at least I haven't killed a lot of people for no reason! Not being a mass murderer is one of my greatest qualities! My mom would be sooo proud.

Anyways, that's enough introspection crap, for now. Let's talk more about this flight, yeah?

We're going to Edan 6! One of the other floating orbs going around Edan, wish is technically a gas giant and not a planet. So, I'm not even sure if Edan 5 or Edan 6 are technically moons. Which by the way, what creative names, am I right people?

Man, the writers were lazy.

Unless this is a legitimate theme, though, that makes me wonder if this is like an actual rule. Because if it was, shouldn't Pandora's moon have been called Pandora 2 or something?

These are questions that will never be answered. But will continue to be asked.

Speaking of questions that haven't been answered, I should probably mention why we're going to Edan 6. As you know, it's for a funeral, specifically my wife's funeral.

Elizabeth Jakobs.

Exactly what it sounds like, and that kind of shocked me too. Also, for the record, she was the Jakobs. Not me. I'm still just Handsome Jack, let's try not to make it any crazier than that.

Anyways, she had a bit of a falling out with her family. But in the event that she died, which she did, she wanted to be buried on her home world. So, that is where Angel and I are headed.

Not really sure how I'm supposed to feel about any of this. A part of me is hurt, probably the part of me that's still Jack. But my only memory of Elizabeth, is trying to protect her from a hail of bullets with my face. And failing.

Maybe I could try to shed a couple of tears, for Angel's sake.

...​

I couldn't think.

I was one of the smartest people alive. I was the brightest mind in all of Hyperion. I was- I was the best dad ever, according to the mug, Angel made for me.

But for all of that, I couldn't think, I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't figure a way out of this. I couldn't take away her powers. I couldn't help my daughter.

I've never felt so useless in my entire life.

In the end all I could do was sit on my bed and try to fight back my tears. It was hopeless, there was nothing I could do. Nothing.

"Jack." My wife called to me softly, gently rubbing my shoulders from behind me. "It's okay."

"No, Liz." I try to pull away, but she holds me firmly. "None of this is okay."

"It will be." She soothes me. "I know how hard this is for you. You're a fixer, Jack. When you see something wrong you always try to make it right."

"How am I supposed to make this right?" I scoffed.

"You can start by checking on Angel." Elizabeth suggested smoothly.

I try to argue. "I told you! I don't know anything about Sirens-"

"She's more than just a Siren, Jack." Elizabeth interrupts me. "She's your daughter, and right now she needs you." I could feel her shifting off the bed, as she grabbed my chin, and turned me to face her.

She was as beautiful as the day I met her, those clear gray eyes, that pearl smile. Well, she's frowning right now, but I know it's there.

I sigh to myself, before looking back at her. "You're right."

"I'm always right." She corrected, with a small smile.

Turns out her smile was infectious. "I know." I got up and made for the door. "I'll go talk to her."

Before I made it too far, she grabbed my hand. "Jack, I mean it." She told me sincerely. "It's going to be okay, you'll figure something out. And tomorrow, we'll go out for a walk in the park. Just like always."

"With ice cream?" I ask cheekily.

Elizabeth chuckled. "With ice cream." She nodded in confirmation.

I bent down and kissed her. "Sound like a plan, hun."

"And Jack?"

"Yeah Liz?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I remember how happy I was that night because she was there with me. Because she could find something completely hopeless and turn it around. She might've called me a fixer, but she was the real healer.

The next night we all went to the park. Me, her, and Angel, we had a great time, had some laughs, got some ice cream… and then she was killed. Because I couldn't save her.

Maybe she was wrong. I can't seem to fix anything.

Dad. "Dad. Dad!"

"Ah!" I startled awake, panting slightly. I could feel someone nudging me and turned to my left. "Angel, sorry about that, you uh, you okay?"

Angel looked a little guilty. "Yeah dad. We're almost there, thought you should know."

"Cool." I said after a moment. "That's great, let's get ready to bounce."

"Okay." Angel hesitated a bit. "Are you okay, dad?"

"Of course, darling." I rub my eyes a bit. "Just a little tired."

Angel doesn't seem to buy it, though she doesn't push it any further. Something I'm glad for. I apparently found another good use for this mask.

They're pretty good at hiding tears.

...​

"Jack." Montgomery Jakobs greeted me briefly, probably feeling as awkward as I did.

"Hey, Monty." I reply, as I mentioned, awkwardly.

I think I mentioned it before, but I'll say it again. Elizabeth and her family were a bit estranged. I don't really know how or why, I never- that's to say, Jack never asked. He didn't want to bring up any touchy subjects. Which, on that note. Guess who's memories finally cracked their way into my skull.

"You look… different." Montgomery noted, escorting me and Angel to the Wake.

"Yeah." I said deadpanned. "New hairstyle."

"I uh, meant-"

"I know what you meant." I cut him off, the mask was a little off putting, but not as bad as what's under it. But yeah, thanks Monty. I try to ease the tension and suddenly for the first time ever, jokes don't help.

The CEO of the Jakobs family, everyone. It's a bunch of low-tech weapon crap, but it'll kill things good and dead. In fact, I think that's their slogan. Not mine though.

Hyperion for life.

"So, this is Angel?" Christ, this guy would just not- wait. Perfect.

"Yeah!" I answer enthusiastically. "Hey Angel, this is your Grandpa, come say hi." I order her, as is my fatherly right.

She kind of peeps her head out from around my leg. "Hi." She greeted quietly. Angel, you are disappointing me. I need you as a buffer between me and awkward small talk!

"Well hello there, darling." Grandpa Jakobs, the futuristic Colonel of KFC, fortunately doesn't seem to mind. "You know, your momma told me all about you."

Doubt it.

But Angel seems to buy it, she tentatively goes around my leg, and strikes up a conversation with Colonel Buy More Guns. SCORE!

I knew having kids would pay off one day!

… I just didn't think it would be by distracting my father-in-law so I could avoid making awkward small talk at my wife's funeral. But you know what they say… life's full of surprises…

I need a drink.

...​

Montgomery Jakobs wasn't quite sure what to make of Jack.

He was every bit the ass he imagined him to be, but at least the man had a sense of humor. At first glance, Montgomery wasn't sure what his daughter could've seen in him. Of course, at first glance, all he really noticed was the mask.

The mask he apparently wore because his face was horrifically scared after he tried to save Elizabeth. So maybe he judged him too soon, and a little harshly.

Jack was good to that daughter of his too. Almost reminded Montgomery of himself and Elizabeth, in what feels like a lifetime ago now. Except, he always had Maggie's help, and he still messed it up.

Oh, Elizabeth.

He didn't know where he went wrong with her. Of all the regrets he had in his long life, never getting the chance to apologize, to tell her he loved her one last time. That was his biggest and deepest regret.

It wasn't too late to make things right though.

He had a granddaughter, Elizabeth's girl.

Angel and boy did she live up to her name.

He couldn't do anything for Elizabeth now, much as he wished he could. But he could be there for Angel now, and as long as he can.

That's what the Jakobs family is all about. That's what life's all about. Doing what you can for the people you love, in the time you have left.

...​

A/N: Semi-important to not at all, read at your own risk

Not going to lie, I'm pretty flattered by all the attention. Hope you all enjoyed today's chapter! If you want to read up to chapter thirty-six, please free to catch up on FFN, where I have the story posted with the same title and username. If you want to read up to five chapters after that, feel free to check out my Patreon, with the link below:

My Patreon

P.S.

Sorry for the late update. My wi-fi was not my friend today.

 

[Despacitoleo]

Lets go baby daughter time

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 3 It's a New-U! (Again)

"So, this is it, pumpkin." I informed Angel carefully, turning her attention to the chair that in another life, she was terrified of.

"Are you sure it'll work?" This Angel, however, was more nervous than scared. I guess that's good.

At least I'm handling it better than the original Jack. Not that he set the bar particularly high. Still though, being a dad is hard. Especially when your kid has the power to command everything electronic with her mind, and you work at a primarily weapon-making company.

I've tried to make this process go by nice and smooth. I waited a couple of months after the funeral before I even made the chair. And I let Angel know what it'll do ahead of time. She knows what to expect, but I'm still a bit worried…

"Angel," I put my hand on her shoulder, and continued only when she looked up at me. "Are you sure you're ready? We don't have to do this if you're not sure."

Maybe I wasn't the dad she had her entire life, but I'm the dad she has now. Besides, as exhausting as it is to raise a kid on my own, didn't stop me from caring about her.

Angel breathes in slowly, and exhales. "Yes." She still seemed a bit nervous, but she was ready. As much as she could be I guess, there are just some things we can't ever really prepare for.

"It'll work." I assured her.

"How do we start?" She asked, looking a bit confused.

"You just sit down. It'll handle things from there." I told her confidently, and I was very confident. Over the last couple of months, Jack's memories, his intelligence, they've started to become mine. My brain went into overdrive, and I turned the concept into a reality.

That chair is connected to every Hyperion satellite, even the ones I don't have clearance too. It's been uniquely modified and outfitted to respond to Angel's Phaseshifts. Not only would she be able to control her powers, she would be able to change the world.

We'd change the universe. Just like I promised, and then some.

"Okay." Angel started tentatively, sitting down lightly, like she was worried the chair was a landmine. But as she finally seated, she started to calm down. Until the controls started up. "Woah!" She yelped, almost jumping out of the chair, but I held my hand on her shoulder to keep her in place.

"Easy. kiddo." I soothed her. "It's just powering on, everything's fine."

Angel eased up and sat back down. "Okay, okay…" She trailed off, as she finally synched up with Hyperion's network. "Woah." She breathed in amazement.

"Woah." I agreed with a grin. "That is the entire Hyperion satellite network. Every stream, every site, every inch of the universe as we know it, and you get to see it all. Best seat in the house, right?"

"Yeah!" She agreed excitedly. "What should I do?"

Hmmm. Got it. "Well you know, I always wanted to see our house from space. Try to pull it up on my monitor." I ask, turning my console around so she can see.

She closed her eyes in concentration for a moment, before opening glowing blue eyes. I can also see the glow coming from her left arm. If we hadn't covered up her tattoos, that would have looked a lot cooler. "Executing Phaseshift." She spoke, and the world obeyed.

I watched in awe as Eden 5 came into view on the monitor. I got to admit that was awesome, but it's also something I could have done back home on google maps. "Nice work, darling." I praised her, and she metaphorically and literally glowed at the attention. "Try zooming in."

"Okay." She eagerly accepted. Bringing our city, and then our house into view. She had a smug look on her face, but I'd say it was well earned.

"Awesome!" I cheered her, raising my hand for a half five that she happily returned. "Be honest, have you been practicing?"

She seemed flattered but shook her head. "No, dad." She smiled in denial.

"Well, I guess my girl's a natural." I boasted. She just rolled her eyes with a smile.

"What's next?" Angel asked, all traces of nervousness gone.

I just smiled. "I've got a few ideas."

...​

Fast Travel hasn't been invented yet.

Can you believe that? Only about three years away from the big event, the opening of the Destroyer's Vault. And one of the most integral parts of the story, just did not exist.

Well we can't have that, can we?

I've been working on this for months, if it wasn't for having Jack's intelligence, it would probably have made as much sense to me, as shirts did for psychos.

I did get why they wore masks though, they're pretty much the fashion trend of the century. It's like putting a onesie on, right out of the drier. It's cozy. Probably not as wholesome, but who cares, this is Borderlands not a Christmas special.

Any WAYS!

I made the first ever prototype of the Fast Travel network. And after I finish the second prototype of the Fast Travel, we can actually test it out.

When I say we, I'm actually talking about some of the ratches I… persuaded the janitor, into letting me experiment on.

That sounded too ominous didn't it? Okay, I paid him $20, and I told him I wanted to use them as lab rats before I killed them myself… What? This isn't immoral, everyone does animal testing.

Plus, they're ratches. Have you seen them? Absolutely disgusting, makes me just want to murder every last one of them. Joking!

Maybe.

Let's move the focus back to Fast Travel, okay? Terrific. So, Angel's helped me set them up, and with just a few more finishing touches, we'll get to see how these bad boys work!

...​

"Halt!" Screamed the annoying, digitized voice, of a soulless, waste of scrap, robot. Or as I know them…

Claptraps.

You know it's weird, I always thought they were kind of funny, even endearing, back when I was playing the game. But now that I'm living it, I can see why Handsome Jack tried to kill them all.

Not that I will… maybe?

No… sadly that would probably make me too evil. "What?" I hissed out, annoyed at being interrupted by one of them of all things.

"I can NOT let you in without the proper clearance!" The Claptrap exclaimed pompously.

This egotistical bucket of- calm down Jack, happy thoughts. "It's my office." I said instead, trying to control my temper.

"Ohhh..." The idiotic robot accepted at face value. So. Incredibly. Incompetent.

Although this was my office. Also, this is the fifth time I've had this conversation, and I'm pretty sure it's still the same Claptrap. I rolled my eyes and pushed past it as I walked into my office.

"Wait! Stop, I need to see your ID!" The Claptrap made to follow but stopped as it got to the steps leading to my office. "Well, I've done all I possibly can." It immediately quits with a small shrug.

'God those things are useless.' I thought, irritated, as I slammed the door. I can only put up with them for so long. "Angel, are they ready?" I asked her after setting down the small cage of ratches I disguised with a cardboard box.

"Yeah, dad." She answered, sitting at my desk chair. She gave me a look. "You should be nicer to them." She scolded, in mention of the Claptraps.

"I was nice." I argue. "I didn't even threaten to dismantle it once." Angel just chuckled, like I said something funny. Oh, she thought I was kidding. That's nice.

And of course, she'd like them. Kids love annoying things.

Namely me. "So. let's get these tests started." I suggested, quickly trying to change the subject. I took the cage out of its clever disguise of a cardboard box, the ratches viciously fighting against the bars.

"You'll need to place one on the travel pad." Angel gestured to our altered digistruct matt we made for the Fast Travel. "And…" She hesitated. "It'll need to be one, I've run the scenarios, it won't end well if more than one person tries to use it at the same time."

I grimaced. "Yeah, great." We've already tested it out on a couple of objects, and that worked well enough. But bio testing is really what'll make or break it.

I put on some leather gloves I bought for the occasion, and carefully opened the cage. Then I quickly grabbed one and shut the cage before the other ratch got any funny ideas.

Meanwhile the ratch I was holding fought, scratched, and bit against my grip, and I all but chucked it at the travel pad. "Angel, now!" I nervously ordered as the ratch got back up and moved to pounce.

Before it could, it vanished. I let out a breath of relief and took the cardboard box and brought it to the other Fast Travel in the room. I'd need something to catch it.

We waited one moment.

Then another.

And another.

I sighed in disappointment. "Angel-" I was cut off by the small flash of light and sound, as the ratch reappeared dazed. While it was confused I pounced at it with the box.

It squirmed in disagreement, but I counter argued by pressing the matter of my boot against its head in a repeated fashion on top of the box.

I panted for a little, before turning back to Angel, with a huge smile. "It worked!" I cheered. Lifting her up and twirling her around in celebration.

"I told you so!" She shouted, equally excited.

"Never doubted you for a moment." I replied, holding her up in my arms proudly. "Come on, let's get some ice cream. We earned it."

...​

We did it! And now, we just gotta sell it.

Shouldn't be too hard right? Wrong.

First I'm going to have to make it pass Assiter who I know from Jack's memories, and mine, to be a complete dick head. And if I try to go through him, he'll steal the credit, and I'll get bupkis.

So, I need to go around him to the people who matter, the executives. The board of directors, shouldn't be too hard, right? Wrong.

I love correcting people. Although I did have an idea or two I kind of liked…

Let's make this happen.

...​

Maxim Turner fought not to groan as Harrold Tassiter, the current CEO of his beloved company, babbled on. He lost interest a good hour and a half in, as the man started to rant less about their company's success, and more about its faults.

As if he needed to be lectured on that. Turner was the reason Hyperion even existed, let alone why it was the superpower it was today. If it wasn't for his bankrolling, his resources, this company would have been steam rolled.

He glanced to his left, and saw that Alma Harren, his "co-founder" seemed about as interested in Tassiter's speech as he was. Not in the slightest. She didn't show it of course, and if Turner hadn't known her better, he would have assumed she was listening with rapt attention.

Sadly, he did know her better. Her experience in the Corporate Wars, perfected her ability to ignore all distractions and focus on her target. No doubt she was fantasizing about killing Mr. Tassiter. Oh, if only he could let her.

Turner looked to his right, and this time he did groan. Lawrence De Quidt, their creator, the founder of the artificial intelligence branch. Prototyping the robots that now littered their company. And of course, the man couldn't possibly be bothered to pay attention.

Instead his eyes were glued to his echo, most likely examining the faults with their latest batch of Claptraps. Lawrence claimed he was trying to fix their personality flaws, but for a man of his reputation, he was making tremendously little progress.

And even with the defects to their coding, Turner was certain that Lawrence still preferred their companionship then human's. If he were a lesser man, he might have shuddered in disgust.

"Excuse us, sirs!" Speak of the defective little devils… "We have a package for you!" The lead Claptrap shouted excitedly.

"...Well?" Turner asked, after the Claptrap continued to stand there.

"Well, what?"

"Bring it in." Turner demanded, frustrated with the annoying robot.

"Okay!" It agreed cheerfully. It continued to stand there, waiting.

"Are you going to get it or not?" Lawrence asked harshly, ashamed of what he created.

"Ohhh, did you mean now?" The robot asked stupidly.

"Yes." Alma said bluntly

"You got it!" The Claptrap exclaimed. It and the other little abominations wheeled in a strange looking machine, then it tripped over itself. "Ah! Help, I have fallen and cannot get up!"

Tassiter finally acknowledged the droids with a roll of his eyes. He waved a hand at the other two mistakes. "Take it away." He commanded, gesturing to the fallen Claptrap.

They all breathed easier for the removal of the truly incompetent robots. As Turner regained control of his temper, and his smile, he looked at the machine bemused. "What is it?"

"So glad you asked, Mr. Turner!" A voice called out through an echo recorder, strapped to the machine. It then projected the hologram, of one of their employees, wearing... a mask of his face?

"John?" Tassiter recognized him immediately, his surprise only matched by his annoyance. "What are you-"

"Harold, Harry boy, how many times do I have to tell you?" The hologram cut him off, making Turner's smile a tad more genuine. "It's Jack, why don't you try reading the nameplate? Oh, I'm sorry, that was insensitive. I know reading's a challenge for you." Jack mocked him relentlessly.

To Turner's growing amusement, Tassiter's face turned scarlet. "How dare-?!"

"Tassy seriously, I'd love to play twenty questions with you, but the grownups are talking right now." Jack interrupted. Turner was starting to like this one.

"You have our attention." Turner spoke amused, for the three of the board members.

"Well I for one am thrilled." Jack commented cheerfully, completely ignoring Tassiter. "And might I add that it's such an honor to speak to the three of you."

"Lawrence De Quidt, the man behind the machines." Jack complimented their head of artificial intelligences.

Lawrence didn't respond, he merely basked in the praise, like the narcissist he was.

"Alma Harren," He continued, turning his attention to their weapon designer. "The mercenary who couldn't miss, any chance I could pay you to aim at Tassiter?" He questionly jokes, though he waited for her reaction

Alma had a small, smug smile, and gave a joke in return. "It would cost more than your salary could afford."

"Of course." Jack agreed with a small chuckle, before facing him. "And Mr. Turner-"

"Flattery will get you nowhere, if you're trying to interest me Jack." He interrupted with his own, scary smile. "You've been a… welcome distraction, but nevertheless, still a distraction. Please, speak your piece."

"All too happy to, sir." Jack complied. "Mr. Tassiter if you managed to listen to him past the first five minutes, raised a damn good point. Hyperion's fallen behind, now it's not our fault, it's not even Atlas's. It's the Vaults."

Jack paused for dramatic effect, and leaned down closer to them, placing his holographic hands on the table. "What Tassiter wants us to do is play their game. He wants us to waste Hyperion resources looking for a Vault, without a clue where to go. Well you wanna hear what I have to say?"

He shot up off the table. "Screw THAT!" He yelled, startling all of them. "Let Atlas and Dahl, and all the other schmucks out there dogpile each other, looking for them. And when the time comes, we'll use them as a stepping stone to open our own."

Everyone's eyes were on him now, Lawrence looked at Jack with admiration in his eyes. Alma seemed impressed, and even Turner was intrigued. Tassiter was practically fuming, but he went ignored. "In the meantime, we offer the people something the Vaults can't."

"Like what, John?!" Tassiter spat.

Jack only grinned, before his hologram disappeared. The echo recorder he left transmitted the rest of his message. "Handsome Jack, on behalf of Hyperion, introduces you to-" And before anyone could react, the machine sounded and Jack- Handsome Jack appeared in the conference room.

He smiled smugly, straightened his hair, and crossed his arms. "The Fast Travel." He finished smoothly. He turned one final time to Maxim Turner. "So, tell me Mr. Turner, are you interested now?"

Maxim Turner's impossibly wide smile grew a bit larger at that.

...
​

I reappeared on the other side of the Fast Travel and struggled to steady my breathing. That was the most nerve wracking- most terrifying thing I had ever done.

But even still I couldn't stop smiling.

All that confidence, everything I just did, it had to be Jack. In my old life, if I had talked that way about my boss, with only a decent product to show for it, I'd have been out a job faster than you could say "Severance check?"

But here, in this life…

Let's just say I don't think it'll be too long before I'm running the show. All I gotta do is get Tassiter out of the picture. I'd like to do it without killing him but given the things he'd done. It wouldn't eat away at my conscience.

"How'd it go?!" Angel, my little miracle worker asked me excitedly.

I tried to kill my smile but couldn't so I looked away. And at a glance I could tell she was getting worried. I kneeled down and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Angel," I said with fake sadness, while she was getting concerned. "They loved it!" I continued happily, hugging her tightly.

"Dad!" She started to complain but my joy was infectious, and pretty soon she hugged me back. "I knew you could do it."

"Darling, I've probably said this about a million times, but I'll say it again. I couldn't have done any of this without you." I remind her sincerely.

"I love you, dad." She said lovingly.

"I love you too, Angel." I ruffle her hair a bit. "C'mon, let's go home."

And as we walked out of the office, I made sure to grab a file I left Angel in charge of, my literal game changer. You see, for the narrative purposes in Borderlands, the New-U wasn't cannon. It didn't exist. Which is why Roland, and Handsome Jack, and who knows how many others, died permanently.

But with a little innovation, and a lot of money, I might make a couple of changes.

The New-U sponsored by Handsome Jack!

I like the sound of that…

...​

A/N

I was so excited to make an immortality machine way back when I originally drafted this chapter. But I ended up not doing that for narrative reasons. The plot loses some of the punch where there aren't some stakes on the line.

Hope you all enjoyed! Stay tuned in tomorrow to read the next chapter. Or check the fic out on FFN, where I have up to thirty-six chapters for you to read through, right now. And if that isn't enough for you, you can also check out my Patreon, where I'm all the way up to forty-one chapters!

My Patreon

 

[Despacitoleo]

Yaaaaaay also are we recruiting the OG Claptrap

Spoiler: Spoiler of claptraps feats

Cause he has lots of goodies in him hell treat him like a friend and a close ally and the DEATHTRAP inside of him will be chill with you


Even without the military AI in him claptrap is technically one of the strongest characters in the borderlands series canonically


Like the time he made a giant army and rebelled against hyperion and genuinely was a threat to the galaxy

Or the time he went into ghost ship haunted by the shipwrights to find a made up pear of infinite knowledge battled a wizard escaped with Paul and stoke a scroll of knowledge thay leads to the pearl leading to a alternate dimension whoch he leaves IN FRONT OF THE PLAYER goes to a vortex or "inamagible colors and shapes"


Escaped the alternate dimension with a eldritch entity and he left after making a deal thrb gave the player the pearl of infinite knowledge as a wedding gift
WHICH HE FOUND a made up pearl
Whoch gage told him to find to keep him away from the wedding



Claptrap is busted he could have been a galaxy wide threat if thr vault hunters didnt stop job and thays without the super soldier program

Crossed dimensions fought ghost pirates wizards and traveled across essentially cuthulus backyard before bargaining with eldritch entities to give a wonderful wedding gift
Even made a crippled woman happy by dancing with het


CLAP TRAP IS A GOAT

 

[MR.PEPS]

Can't wait for more

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 4 Off The Bus, Onto The Poop Train

So… yeah. The uh, the New-U machines they're… they're just not gonna happen.

I tried.

I really tried, but it's just not gonna happen. Like, actually bringing people back to life, that's just not feasible. After the first ten to twelve times I experimented with the tech on ratches, thankfully while Angel was at school, I just gave up on it.

Then I thought okay, what if it acted like a Fast Travel, moving you just before you died. That got me pretty excited, so I tried it out on the ratches again.

The result? They died a couple of feet away.

So, I tried it again, but added a feature that would cause you to be injected with insta-heals, after you come out of the teleportation. And you what insta-heals do right?

They're pain killers, and blood injections. That's it.

So, after two years of dabbling, scientific experimentation, and a lot of ratch corpses, I finally conceded defeat.

It was worth a try, but it's just not gonna happen.

Probably for the best, if I actually did make it, Hyperion would've just used it to throw an unkillable army of soldiers at our competitors. And after a couple of years of that, they would have eventually found out how to do it too. Which would cause a never-ending war.

So yeah, it's for the best.

Still a little peeved though, the board still wanted me to come up with something new, so I just gave them the Quick Change. It literally only took me two days to do that, and there was almost no drawback to it.

If only though, right?

Ah well, I'm on my second life anyway, I shouldn't push my luck.

Still, it was worth a shot. Although maybe I could add like a fall recall to the Fast Travel? So, I won't be killed by heights, that could work...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go clean ratch corpses out of my lab.

...​

"Okay Angel, you found them?" I asked her excitedly. This was it! The big day, I've had my eye on the Vault Hunters for a while, and they should be making their way to Fyrestone any minute now.

I sent a satellite before their shuttle arrived. And since I've been on the Board's approval for the last two years I didn't need to worry about Tassiter.

"Yes, they should be arriving in Fyrestone shortly." Angel paused for a moment. "Are you sure you want to greet them personally?"

"Absolutely." I answer, as I brush my hair a bit, and straighten my clothes. "It's always important to make a good first impression."

Speaking of, let's check the gear. Awesome badass wrist lasers, check. Digi-Jacks, check. My "Handsome" mask face, check. And finally, out of that God-awful regulation gear, and back into the classic Jack jacket, and the styling brown vest over my Hyperion yellow shirt.

I could see the bus approaching already. "Show time, Angel. You already got in contact with them, right?"

"Yes, they'll know to expect you." She informed me.

"Awesome, I'll keep you posted, love you." I told her practically shaking in excitement.

"Love you too." Angel says, before we cut the feed. Okay, c'mon Jack, we're ready for this, we've got it!

The bus pulls in, and I take a few calming breaths, to get my confidence ready. I vaguely hear Marcus on his bus. "... I'm sure we'll be doing this all again soon enough. Haha… get off my bus." He finished a little rudely, in a really Russian accent.

That's when I see them, the Vault Hunters.

Roland's the first off the bus, he surveyed Pandora calmly, assessing it for any threats. Lilith is the next to follow, confident, eager, as far as Siren's go she was pretty impressive, even now. Mordecai followed after, looking a little ridiculous in his mask, with Bloodwing, hanging on his shoulder.

Then there was Brick, he's what I imagined most people would look like if they had steroid stuffed steaks, chased down with protein shakes for breakfast. Then they went to bench press pickup trucks. Brick's pretty buff is what I'm saying.

"Hey there, Vault Hunters." I greeted the four. "Welcome to Pandora."

...​

The first thought that came to Lilith's mind upon meeting their employer, was that he was pretty handsome. "Was" being the key term, the mask was a little unsettling. But he seemed okay, so far.

"Hey." Brick greeted warmly, in his pretty deep voice. "You Jack?"

"I go by Handsome Jack." He said nonchalantly. "But yup, that's me."

"So, you're the person paying us to find the Vault?" Roland asked, straight to business. "Mind if I ask why?"

"Simple, Atlas and Dahl, as you probably know have had a pissing match over this planet so long, that the only crap it has left in abundance is lunatics, and predators. That's the kind of stuff my company can't deal with, but you guys can." Jack explained.

"So, what, amigo?" Mordecai asked in his Truxican accent. "You're paying us to do Hyperion's dirty work?

"More or less." Jack admittedly shamelessly. "Not like anyone from Hyperion would be much help. Present company excluded. Besides, isn't this what you came here to do? Hunt a Vault?"

"We didn't come here to hunt it for someone else." Lilith remarked, getting Jack's attention on her.

"Fair enough." He shrugged, before pointing at her. "You came here looking for answers."

He pointed at Roland. "You came here to make a difference." Jack moved onto Mordecai. "You came here to get rich, and you." Jack looked at Brick. "You came to Pandora to beat up Jimmy, your preschool bully."

They all got a laugh out of that, Brick the loudest of them all.

Handsome Jack waited for them to calm down a bit before continuing. "Everything you've come here for, I can almost guarantee the Vault can't help you with. But maybe I can."

"How?" Lilith asked him suspiciously.

Jack turned back to her. "Those answers you're looking for, I got most of them right here." He emphasized with a tap to his head. "You aren't gonna find a better expert on Siren's this side of the galaxy." He claimed proudly, crossing his arms.

"Prove it." Lilith tested him, crossing her own arms.

Handsome Jack smirked and spoke like he had practiced it at his rehearsal, even waving an arm for dramatic effect. "There are only six Sirens in existence at any point in time. Typically, female, but always identifiable by the marks covering the left side of their body. These seemingly magical warriors possess their own unique power, you in particular inherited the Phasewalk ability."

Lilith felt astonished. "How did you-"

"Let's just say I've got a vested interest in Sirens and leave it at that." Jack cut her off, waving the question away. "As for how I know about your power specifically, I always do background checks."

Lilith blinked. "Okay…"

"As for you two." Jack directed his attention to Brick and Roland. "Let's be real, you two wanna fight! You want to do something I've wanted to do my entire life, clean up Pandora." He admitted admiringly.

Brick chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his neck from behind, and inadvertently flexing muscles on top of muscles. Roland's serious face didn't change, but Jack had his attention. "And you'll help us do it?"

"Every step of the way!" Handsome Jack exclaimed proudly. "You think I came to this crap hole to watch?" He smirked at their surprised reactions. "This is on my vacation time, so heck yeah! Let's kill some bad guys."

"My man!" Brick agreed cheerfully, stretching his hand for a fist bump that Jack happily gave. Even Roland had a small twitch of a smile.

"Moving on to the other masked man, and his uh, better half." Jack teased Mordecai, who took it in stride. "The most popular reason for hunting a Vault, money!" He cheered before looking more solemn and gestured them all to come closer.

Lilith and the others hesitantly approached him as he sighed and continued. "I hate to break this to you fellas, I really do. But that Vault you're looking for? Empty." He confessed to their shock. "Well, not empty." Jack elaborated. "Just no treasure, loot, or information. It's got a monster though, a really nasty thing the Eridians called The Destroyer."

Roland was the first to speak up, as they were all still reeling. "How do you know this?" He asked demandingly.

Handsome Jack shrugged. "I've been looking into the Vaults for a long time, believe me, I know what I'm talking about."

Mordecai was the next to recover, pointing a finger accusingly at Jack. "Why do you even want it, then? If there's no reward-"

Jack held up a hand. "I didn't say there was no reward." He waited for everyone to allow him to continue. "Just no treasure, and there's not, but Vaults aren't really like opening up a prize. They're more like dominoes, knock one down and suddenly there's this chain reaction."

He looked at them and shrugged apologetically. "We take out The Destroyer, there'll be a payoff, but when you're working with Vaults, you need to play things long term."

Roland gazed at Lilith, Brick, and Mordecai and turned back to Handsome Jack. "We weren't planning on doing this long term."

Jack nodded. "Fair enough, so work with me." He offered. "And once we crack that Vault open, I'll give you each a million, and have you recognized as the ones who helped me do it." He threw an amused glance at Bloodwing. "I'll even throw in half a million for the bird."

Bloodwing preened at the attention, and Mordecai looked a lot happier. "Okay, Amigo." He offered his hand to Jack, who shook it firmly. "I'm in."

"Hell yeah!" Brick agreed enthusiastically.

"Sign me up." Roland accepted bluntly.

Lilith was the last one left, and they all turned their attention to her. She crossed her arms, before giving a small smirk, and offered her hand to Jack. He shaked it, but before he could pull away, she pulled him close with her other hand. "Just so you know, if you're lying…" She trailed off amused.

"My face probably won't be the only thing that needs to be covered up?" Handsome Jack suggested with a wry smile.

Lilith chuckled. "More or less." She let him go, giving him a more genuine smile.

"Well then, I'll try not to disappoint." He flirted with a wink. Jack took a few steps back and outstretched his arms. "So, let's get started, huh? Need to get you badasses settled at the Quick Change." He turned, pointing a finger to the station just a few feet away.

"So…" Brick started, as they made their way to the Quick Change. "What's up with the mask?"

"It's a bit personal, but long story short, a couple years ago a bandit and his turret got the drop on me. I could've either gotten plastic surgery or the mask, insurance was crap, so they picked the mask." Jack explained casually.

"Ever think of just getting the surgery?" Lilith asked curiously, a bit confused why someone would want to wear a mask for the rest of their life.

"You know I did, but it grew on me." Jack remarked. "Like, literally. I'm actually pretty worried about what'll happen if I try to take it off."

"How are we supposed to check in?" Roland asked professionally. Glancing at the Quick Change strangely.

"It's super simple, you got your ECHOs?" Handsome Jack asked them, only to be met with blank stares. "So, uh, you don't have ECHOs. Right, well no problem. I'll just-"

"Helllloooo Travelers!" A yellow box looking robot interrupted him, rolling up to the assembled Vault Hunters in greeting. "Welcome to Fyrestone!" It exclaimed joyfully.

Jack looked down and pinched the bridge of his - mask nose? - and groaned. "Claptrap, great." He mumbled sarcastically.

"Gasp!" The now named Claptrap actually said gasp. "You know who I am?! And you think meeting me is "great"?!" It exclaimed cheerfully.

Lilith had to double take at the robot's genuine wonder. She could visibly see Handsome Jack fighting the urge to shout at it. Instead he settled for a frustrated sigh, and an overly dramatic eye roll. "Yeah, sure whatever. Now if you don't mind, I have to hook these Vault Hunters up with some ECHO-"

"I don't mind at all!" Claptrap yelled joyously. "In FACT, I can help!" Claptrap then proceeded to hand out ECHO devices, and heads-up displays, to the four of them. "Please accept these ECHO communication devices, and heads-up displays! Free of charge by the Dahl corporation!"

"Oh, that's uh." Jack looked genuinely shocked. "Thanks Claptrap. Now that you got your ECHOs you can- wait a minute." He turned back to the robot while the rest of them went to check in, although Lilith lagged behind to watch the show. "Dahl Corporation?! You're a Hyperion manufactured robot!"

"Oh, right." Claptrap twiddled his mechanical limbs and shifted a little guilty. "Wellll, the thing about that is-" Claptrap continued to ramble, as Jack tried to control his temper.

He eventually breathed out and turned back to them. "Okay, it's fine. Everything's fine, are you guys settled? Good, now lets out to Fyrestone, see if we can find some-"

"Bandits!" Claptrap screamed terrified.

Handsome Jack turned back to the machine, his patience tested yet again. "No, not bandits. WHY would we be looking for…" He paused as he saw what Claptrap pointed at. "Bandits."

Four Bandit Technicals charged past them, shooting their way to Fyrestone. "The poop train will run brown with their blood!" A psycho proudly shouted from the steering wheel.

'Poop train?' Lilith gagged to herself quietly. Looking back at her employer's dumbfounded face. She could tell he was just as disgusted. "You might want to stay back, this is gonna get a little messy."

"Actually," Jack objected, coming back too. "I think killing some bandits would be pretty therapeutic, right now." Cracking his knuckles, and flexing his wrist lasers, he turned back to face them. "Who's ready to be a hero?"

...​

Author's note: For the people who read them.

Another day, another chapter. I am determined to post daily until I get this site caught up with FFN and SB, but after that, it'll be updated weekly. If you want to read ahead, you're more than welcome to check me out over there. And if you still want to read ahead past that, you can always check out my Patreon.

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