HOLLYWOOD WHAT IF

Hollywood What If Chapter 42


The conditions of 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros were unfavorable for Calix.

In such a situation, the best option was to contact the other movie studios.

"Salvatore, contact Universal Pictures and Paramount Pictures. I'm sure they'd be interested in working with us. Oh, contact Touchstone and Miramax as well."

"I understand."

Touchstone and Miramax were film companies under Walt Disney.

Walt Disney in the 90s was very much run by Michael Eisner. The Disney family gradually lost its authority over the company. Michael Eisner held the throne of the company as the chairman.

With his helm, he leads Walt Disney to focus on live-action movies. Michael Eisner felt that 2D animated movies would slowly lose their freshness once the new century arrived. He was right, to be honest.

That is why he kicked Jeffrey Katzenberg out of Walt Disney.

Jeffrey Katzenberg was the head of 2D animation at that time. When he was kicked out, he joined Steven Spielberg's plan to start another company. They founded DreamWorks.

Well, part of this story may be unclear. But Hollywood was known for faking its appearance to the outside world.

So at the time, Walt Disney preferred live-action films than 2D animations, which took a year to complete.

'Well, their position will change once they acquire Pixar from Steve Jobs.'

Pixar was the leader in the computer animation industry.

"I will send them the scripts and contact their managers or producers."

"Make sure this news gets out."

"Okay."

The two nodded to each other.

January, 1996. Napoleon Dynamite and Se7en became part of the movies that earned more than $100 million at the box office.

Napoleon Dynamite was released internationally in December after Kazir sold the copyrights. So far, the film has grossed $59 million overseas.

Combined with $132 million in North America, Napoleon Dynamite has grossed $191 million worldwide. The casinos in Las Vegas believe that the movie would gross over $250 million once it is taken out of theaters.

For a production cost of $500 thousand to 250 million dollars. Many movie companies were drooling over these numbers.

In fact, many companies tried to contact Kazir in these days. But he maintained his solitude. Because he wanted to wait for the offers from Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox.

He has great respect for these companies after meeting their CEOs.

'Unfortunately, they didn't show enough sincerity.'

"Well, if they change their terms, maybe I can think about it."

Kazir has the upper hand in this situation. Suddenly, his phone rang and he chuckled when he saw the caller's name.

"Reese? Oh, so you guys are coming back tomorrow? Got any souvenirs from Australia?"

The cast of Napoleon Dynamite signed a contract to promote the movie in various countries.

Reese and the other actors went to different countries, they were tired but excited.

"Okay, I'll meet you at the airport tomorrow."

He smiled.

After meeting Salvatore, Kazir went to the theater to watch a movie.

As a director, it was not bad to learn more shooting styles.

As for his choice, he decided on Jumanji.

"A great movie. Although the cost is quite high."

The budget of Jumanji was 65 million dollars. He took a step into the theater and spent almost two hours of his day watching the movie.

.........
......
...

Ed Helms was still an unknown actor. He was 21 years old and didn't have much in life. He wanted to be an actor.

But with his looks, he knew it would be hard to become a superstar.

"Napoleon! Napoleon!"

When he walked into a TV show, the audience was chanting his name. It was amazing, he felt he had made it.

But he knew that this 'break' would be useless if he didn't star in another movie.

Kazir cast him as Napoleon Dynamite. And Kazir wanted to invite him to do another movie.

Obviously, Ed Helms took it seriously. As the director who made him famous, Ed Helms wanted to work with Kazir again.

Not only Ed, but also Pedro Pascal thought the same. As an Chilean-American actor, he wanted to prove himself in Hollywood. He was given his first step, he might as well follow Kazir to his next movie.

To be honest, these two actors were nervous that Kazir's next movie would be a big flop. The Hangover was different from Napoleon Dynamite. It was too vulgar.

But because they read the script and laughed out loud, they knew that Kazir's next movie had potential.

So these two actors decided to get their roles. They began to study the script.

"Ed, I recommend that you also read these scripts. The directors have invited you to audition."

John Harris, Ed Helms' agent, put the scripts on the table. They were currently staying in a hotel suite in Australia.

The crew would return to the US after this promotion. It was a tiring job, to be honest.

"I understand. However, if it conflicts with the filming of 'The Hangover', I will have to pass."

"Don't worry, I made sure that would never happen."

John Harris was actually the person who spoke to Carl Morin the last time. They were colleagues, working under the William Morris Agency.

'I can't believe Carl dropped a talented director like Kazir Grey. If I were him, I would keep the director.'

He sighed. All he could say was that Carl Morin had made the wrong decision in kicking Kazir Grey out of WMA.

"Okay. I need to eat more."

Because his character in 'The Hangover' was a dentist of average weight, Ed Helms ate more these days.

His role as Napoleon Dynamite was a skinny guy, so he had to gain more weight.

He took his job seriously.

"Ed, you need to make sure you're doing it right. I'll find a nutritionist when we get to the States."

John Harris secretly sighed. He knew there would be a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite. Ed Helms' weight would probably change drastically in the next two years.

"Hm."

Ed Helms nodded and stuffed another sandwich into his mouth.

[Author's note: Thanks to the readers who have reached this chapter. I appreciate your patience in reading my imperfect nonsense novel].

 

Hollywood What If Chapter 43


1995 was an average year for Hollywood. Unlike two years ago when Universal Pictures released Jurassic Park, movies in 1995 didn't have a strong global impact.

Note that the worldwide box office for Jurassic Park was over $1 billion! It was a very difficult feat. Countries around the world have since realized the power of Hollywood.

Obviously, this kind of achievement was hard to replicate. Only the madman who destroyed a ship could topple this achievement.

The first movie on the global box office list this year was Die Hard: With Vengeance with $366 million worldwide.

Toy Story came in second with $365 million. The first computer animated film. The one that started the revolution in the animation industry.

Third on the list was 007: Goldeneye with $356 million. Obviously, James Bond was famous all over the world.

Fourth on the list was Pocahontas with $347 million.

Fifth was Batman Forever at $336 million.

Sixth was Apollo 13 with $335 million.

Seventh was Se7en. Pretty ironic, $328 million. After five months in theaters, the movie had earned more than $300 million worldwide. This amount would still go up. The statistics of Se7en continued to rise steadily.

The top 13 was Napoleon Dynamite with $210 million.

It surpassed Braveheart, which had 209 million dollars, to become the top 13 on the list. Unfortunately for Braveheart, it started to lose its edge after a few months. The movie was about Scotland and most people didn't know about William Wallace.

Although Braveheart could regain its popularity if it won an Oscar.

As for Napoleon Dynamite. Because of its genre, comedy, people believe that the movie would surpass $250 million in the next month.

"Fuck! Carl Morin! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

WMA vice-president Lawlor Dean shouted after throwing the documents at Carl Morin.

The WMA has two branches, one in New York and one in Los Angeles.

As one of the Vice Presidents assigned to Los Angeles, Vice President Lawlor Dean wanted to prove himself to the Chairman.

However, he could not believe that one of their former clients had become successful after leaving the WMA.

To make matters worse, it was a director!

Everyone knows that director and producer are the heart and brain of a film crew. They have the authority to choose the actors and actresses they want to participate in the movies.

A superstar director is much heavier than a superstar actor!

"Carl! Explain to me why Kazir Grey left our company! You fucking retard, you let a talented director like him leave WMA! What is wrong with you?"

Everyone would be angry.

Kazir's two movies made more than $500 million at the box office combined! In just one year! Of course, Vice President Lawlor Dean was furious.

"..."

Carl Morin kept his mouth shut. He just lowered his head and let the Vice President yell at him.

"Tell me! Tell me!!"

"S- Sir. You said Kazir didn't deserve William Morris because he spilled water on your suit."

Left with no choice, Carl Morin answered the question.

"Hah!? So you're putting the blame on me!? Are you crazy!? Answer me!"

"No, sir."

He gritted his teeth.

"This bastard... Directors are important."

Vice President Lawlor Dean sat down with a scowl on his face. Whenever he looked at the newspaper, his face crumpled because of the good news about Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite. He felt as if he had lost a diamond.

To make matters worse, Kazir Grey became a client of CAA! Their rival!

WMA and CAA have a lot of friction with each other. Especially now that CAA is getting stronger.

"I don't care what you do, I want Kazir Grey to come back to WMA as soon as possible. Give him a suitable contract, something that will entice him to jump to another agency."

"Yes sir."

Carl Morin walked out of the office with a dark face.

He was confused as well. He hadn't expected that Kazir actually had a talent for filming comedy.

'Had I known, I would have forced him to do comedy instead.'

Like Vice President Lawlor Dean, Carl Morin also regretted it.

If he had known that Kazir Grey would be successful, he would have hugged his legs tightly.

Unfortunately, he didn't know the future. Otherwise he would be a great agent with a talented director under him.

Carl Morin sighed and thought of a plan to convince Kazir to change agencies.

Anyone would kneel in front of money. Especially agents, these people have thick faces.

.........
......
...

"Congratulations Kazir!"

"David!"

"Cheers!"

David Fincher and Kazir clicked their wine glasses and laughed. They were both successful directors now!

They were being contacted by movie companies here and there.

"David, I thought 20th Century Fox had excommunicated you?"

They got invited by 20th Century Fox. Napoleon Dynamite was a huge success and the whole crew was there.

"20th Century Fox invited me because they are interested in my next movie."

If Kazir was right, David Fincher's next film was The Game, starring Michael Douglas.

"To be honest, I'm still not sure. New Line Cinema has been good to me these days.

David Fincher attended the banquet just to meet Kazir. He wanted to support his friend.

"So this woman is...?"

"Hi, I'm Reese Witherspoon. I'm Kazir's friend."

Reese Witherspoon was actually standing next to Kazir the whole time. She was his partner for tonight's banquet.

"I see, 'friend', huh?"

David grinned at Kazir.

Kazir just kept smiling. Reese introduced herself as his friend, so he could not deny it.

[Author's Note: There will be no update tomorrow.]

 

[Shout out to Avinash B, Wai Yan B, and haze2343!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 44


There is a difference between a person who has just become famous and a superstar who has a billion-dollar movie franchise under his name.

Let's talk about those people.

James Cameron with The Terminator and Avatar.

Arnold Schwarzenegger with Terminator as well.

Steven Spielberg with Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones.

Michael Bay with his Transformers.

Tom Cruise and Mission: Impossible.

And so many more.

Any of these actors could have a fall from grace. However, they could easily return to their superstar status by using these franchises.

The best example is Tom Cruise. After dropping Pat Kingsley (his agent for two decades), Tom Cruise received a strong backlash from the media.

His Scientology scandal. His problems with his ex-wife Nicole Kidman and his divorce.

Tom Cruise hit rock bottom. The only thing that kept him relevant was his role as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible.

Even James Cameron didn't have a project for almost ten years after Titanic. But he was still highly respected after the release of Avatar.

When Cameron's next movie came out, which was Avatar: The Way of the Water, James Cameron proved himself again.

'If there's anyone who can make a billion-dollar movie. It's definitely the tyrant director James Cameron.'

His last three movies together have grossed more than $6 billion. Those movies were Titanic, Avatar, and Avatar: The Way of the Water.

'I heard that he is building the ship right now...'

James Cameron wanted to film on a real cruise ship. He pushed 20th Century Fox and Paramount for more investment.

Titanic cost a whopping $200 million to make. For the 1990s, that amount of money was insane.

'All I want is a franchise that will keep me relevant.'

So he decided to start writing original screenplays. He wanted to do something big.

The last week of January.

Unlike the last time, when Kazir used a clunky typewriter to write his scripts, this time he used a laptop. He has the money to buy gadgets.

In fact, he decided to change his apartment. He now lived in a hotel near his studio company(Grey Pictures). Of course, he was only renting the apartment for a year.

His last apartment was too dangerous for him.

He earned more than 12 million dollars this year. Although he knew that taxes would come for him.

More than 30% of that amount would be eaten up by the government...

"Salvatore, how was it?"

Kazir heard his phone ring and answered it.

"Kazir, Paramount wants to work with you. $5 million salary, but they want to talk to you about the box office share."

"I understand. Set up a meeting tomorrow."

"Okay."

He ended the call.

"Hm... Taken, John Wick, and Fast and the Furious."

Those movies had small investments. Each one cost no more than $50 million to make.

"If the movie companies didn't want to support me in starting action movies, then I would..."

He closed his mouth.

.........
......
...

The next day came without a problem. Kazir and his agent, Salvatore Barlowe, walked into the Paramount Pictures' headquarters.

Paramount Pictures had Transformers and Mission: Impossible franchises. Although Tom Cruise had authority over the copyright of the Mission: Impossible.

In terms of strength, Paramount was the second weakest of the Big Six. Right next to Sony-Columbia.

Everyone knows that Sony-Columbia is the weakest of the Big Six. With only Spiderman as a profitable franchise.

"Kazir Grey. Haha, I can't believe I'm going to meet someone with the same last name as me!"

The person in front of Kazir was the CEO of Paramount Pictures.

His name is Brad Grey.

"I heard that your father is actually my third cousin, I guess we are related."

"Indeed."

Kazir kept his smile... He didn't know that. He just found out today. Besides, the relationship of being a third cousin was not that relevant at all.

As for why Brad Grey knew about it, Kazir didn't have an answer. Maybe he was researching his family tree or something.

"So, Kazir, I heard that you're fighting for a share of the box office. You didn't want to work with Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox. Because they gave you hard terms."

"That's right."

There was no need to lie. Everyone in Hollywood had heard that negotiations between Kazir Grey and the two film companies had broken down.

"If I give you an $8 million salary, will you stop asking about the box office share?"

"Sorry Brad, I still prefer the box office share."

"As expected. Are you that confident in your movie, or do you just want to tie your future to the movie?"

"Both."

"..."

Brad Grey stared at the man before him. He had two chances to work with this man, but the production management didn't bother notifying him.

It was too late when Brad Grey heard that Kazir had actually sent his scripts to Paramount.

"We both want to work together, so how about we take it slow?"

"I'm fine with that."

The two shook hands. The first negotiation went well. At least Paramount Pictures didn't have any negative reaction to sharing the box office.

'Maybe they wanted to get a movie with possible sequels.'

Brad Grey heard that Kazir was also working on a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite.

Paramount Pictures has only two big-budget films this year. They are Mission: Impossible and Star Trek.

Although Kazir wanted the copyrights to Mission: Impossible, Tom Cruise acquired the copyrights years ago.

He wanted to include it in his cinematic universe. Unfortunately, some things didn't go his way. He was only human after all.

"Then I'll see you again, Kazir. I hope our next meeting will be positive."

"I hope so."

They shook hands and ended the meeting. Both sides got to know the other's point of view, which was a good thing for both parties.


[Author's note: Some readers may be disappointed, but yes, there is a smut scene next (Chapter 44.1). Though it's only available on Patreon. I just have to say it].

 

[Kudos to Vasyl Č, ryan k, Dave m, Huy G, and The Real Cacto]

Hollywood What If Chapter 45

"Sir, Kazir Grey met with CEO Brad Grey of Paramount Pictures yesterday. Not only that, but Salvatore Barlowe has also contacted Universal Pictures and Walt Disney."

As the producer that CEO Terry Semel entrusted to work on Kazir's next movie. Enrico Pusi took the job seriously.

"I see."

Terry Semel nodded after listening to his report. He already expected that Kazir would find another way to increase his chips.

Now that he had proven himself twice at the box office, most movie companies were interested in working with him.

Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite each crossed the $100 million mark at the North American box office.

Especially Napoleon Dynamite, it has a small investment. Yet its performance was much better than their Batman Forever.

Warner Bros was proud of its superhero characters like Batman and Superman. They are the faces of DC Comics. But the superhero trend was slowly weakening. Warner Bros need a new movie to freshen up.

Terry Semel read Kazir's script three times. The reason was simple, it was funny. He believed that The Hangover, if filmed correctly, would be a box office success.

"...Enrico, check the other companies. Our offer will be $5 million salary and 10% of the North American box office. But the box office should be over $100 million. Try to contact Salvatore and Kazir".

In the proposal, it was written that the investment cost of The Hangover would be 35 million. This amount was no problem for Warner Bros.

Unlike the budget of Batman Forever, which was $100 million, The Hangover was much easier to invest in.

"I understand."

Enrico left the room. Like Terry Semel, Enrico Pusi believed The Hangover would be a success. As one of the producers under Warner Bros, he wanted to take over the project.

If the movie was successful, his position would be better. He could become the head of production management.

Another week passed and it was already February. Kazir had already solved his money problems and bought a new car. A brand new Honda.

He didn't have the courage to spend more money on a car. Especially when he contacted an investment firm.

He gave the investment firm $5 million, almost half of his money, to invest in Microsoft, Cisco and Nokia. He remembered these three companies. He knew they would do well in the 1990s.

As for Google and Yahoo, these two companies were unknown this year. Yahoo had just been founded last year, while Google would be founded in 1998.

Even though Kazir knew the future of these companies, he didn't want to interfere in their management or become a shareholder. His passion was making movies.

He didn't know how these companies ran their businesses, so he was just going to invest.

He believed that his $5 million would multiply before the new century.

"Kazir, I have now contacted the other giants and they are interested in your movie. This is the list."

Kazir had just rented a floor in the building a few blocks from his apartment. So far, Grey Pictures has 10 employees.

Kazir hired his crew. Unfortunately, some of them were not confident in his future, so they were in a wait-and-see mode.

Kazir already gave the crew a bonus, so they left without a problem.

"Let's see..."

Kazir read the conditions one by one.

Universal: $6 million

Sony Columbia: $8 million

Touchstone (Walt Disney): $7 million.

Paramount: $5 million + 5% North American box office share

20th Century Fox: $5 million + 5% North American box office

Warner Bros: $5 million + 10% North American box office

Kazir smiled. His plan worked. At least he saw a company that was serious about working with him.

"Salvatore, what are Warner Bros' conditions?"

"They are hoping that you can release the movie in the summer schedule. The movie must gross over $100 million at the North American box office before you can get your 10% share."

"... Contact them. Tell them I want to work with them."

Kazir didn't want to wait any longer. Just like Warner Bros, he wanted to finish filming quickly and release the movie before the end of the summer.

So Kazir Grey and Warner Bros began their first collaboration.

Kazir signed the contract and the project officially began.

Warner Bros bought his script for $300 thousand and his salary as a director was $5 million.

He received the $300 thousand and $2.5 million first. To get the other half of his salary, he had to finish shooting.

"I hope we will have good cooperation, Kazir."

"I will do my best to make the movie a success."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Terry Semel and Kazir Grey shook hands. Since the contract was already signed, Warner Bros arranged for a public signing of the contract. They invited reporters.

This was common practice. Of course, the contract Kazir signed in front of the public was a fake.

The contract had been signed earlier. The contract was thick, and many conditions were written in it.

So the public signing of the contract was nothing but publicity.

"Director Grey, how do you feel about working with Warner Bros.?"

"I'm excited."

The reporters began to ask him questions. Fortunately, every reporter here was under Time Warner. They would not ask him anything controversial.

"Director, do you have any actors you would like to work with?"

"If I'm being honest. I would like to invite Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal. I already have experience working with them. I believe in their hard work."

He smiled and left the room after answering most of their questions. The flashing cameras were blinding.

After that, he contacted his crew and officially started the preparations. Of course, everything had to be taken seriously.

Editing the script, preparing the props, checking the locations, and so on.

Perhaps the most important part of pre-production was auditioning for the roles.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 46

[Author's note: I was gone for almost three weeks, so I didn't able to update on Scribblehub and other platforms. However, I'm still posting on Patreon, so the chapters are a bit backlogged there. Anyway, I will post 12 chapters this week to make up for it. Two times a day].

There are reasons why Kazir decided to audition Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal for the movie The Hangover.

First, he worked with them and they had a great working relationship. The two actors were serious about their work.

The second thing is money. The salary for each of them will never exceed 2 million dollars. Ed Helms just became famous recently and asking for an astronomical amount was a sure way to end his career.

'Maybe he can ask for 2.5 million dollars. But more than that could be a problem. I hope his agent understands that.'

Usually it is the agents who negotiate with the movie companies. Actors would never show their faces before everything is settled.

The third reason for inviting them was that both of them would have successful careers in the future. At least their faces were known. So Kazir was confident in their talents.

These three are the main reasons why he wanted Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal to be in The Hangover.

The other reason is that they respect Kazir.

As the director of the movie, his position has to be firm. He didn't like anyone questioning his authority, that's not how it works.

"It's nice working with you, Enrico."

"Glad to hear it."

Enrico Pusi and Kazir Grey shook hands.

Their first meeting was indeed memorable. Because Enrico Pusi was the one who accepted his script. Of course, Enrico Pusi didn't cooperate with him at that time.

Se7en was too gruesome and Enrico felt that the movie would never be successful at the box office. Besides, an unknown director like Kazir wanted to direct the movie.

'Who would have thought that Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite would be at the top of last year's box office list.'

Enrico sighed in his heart.

The second week of February 1996, Se7en was released in North American theaters. It has a box office of $202 million.

So far, the worldwide box office of the movie was more than 400 million dollars! This amount was enough to say that the movie was successful.

Let's not even talk about Napoleon Dynamite, which has a worldwide box office of $250 million.

'I hope his next movie will have more than 100 million dollars... I will have a small share if the movie exceeds that amount.'

Of course, producers are rich people. Some of them can make more than 100 million dollars a year. Jerry Bruckheimer, Jeffrey Katzenberg and George Lucas were famous/rich producers.

"Now, let's start our audition."

The two smiled. They acted like brothers.

.........

......

...

"I'll take the role, I'll take the role..."

A fat man kept talking to himself in front of the mirror. Maybe he wanted to convinc himself.

The person in front of the mirror was Jack Black.

He was 27 years old this year. He started his career as an actor in 1992 in a movie called Bon Roberts... He was not famous.

He had a role in Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone. It was a small role.

He also had a part in Dead Man Walking. But it was a small part again.

He also had a part in Waterworld... But his scenes were cut so nobody knew about it.

Three days ago, his agent told him that a new project invited him to audition. It was The Hangover.

Jack Black left the bathroom and sat down in the waiting area outside the audition room. He saw a lot of actors sitting everywhere.

Every one of them was an enemy. They were ready to tear each other's faces off to get the role...

Unlike the other famous actors, Jack Black didn't have a full copy of the script. He only has half. However, he was able to see that his role was an important part of the movie.

He was lucky enough to make it to the final round of auditions. Auditions usually have three rounds.

The first was to see if the actor/actress matched the look of the character.

The second was to check their acting talent.

The last was when the producer and director would attend the audition to hire the best ones.

Obviously, Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal, who has a connection with director Grey, easily passed the two rounds.

If Black Jack got the part, his path to stardom would be clearer. He looked around and saw Ed Helms reading the script.

Because of the success of Napoleon Dynamite, the unknown actor became one of the known actors in Hollywood.

In one movie, Ed Helms' career became so bright.

"Next, number 13, Jack Black."

"Yes! That's me!"

Jack Black walked into the room and found a camera.

"Good morning, Mr. Jack Black."

"Hello, Director Grey." He nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, you're one of the actors who has the privilege of reading the script. So I think you have an idea of your role."

"That's right."

"You can choose which scenes you want to use for the audition.

"Then... I chose the one where Alan met the tiger for the first time."

"Okay."

Kazir nodded. That scene was actually one of the funniest parts of the movie.

Acting like a man who just woke up after a night of drinking, Jack Black walked into the imaginary bathroom... His eyes widened. He quickly ran out of the bathroom screaming "There's a tiger in the bathroom, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom" after accidentally kicking Phil's balls...

Kazir Grey and Enrico Pusi were watching the audition seriously. It was a funny scene, but they have to maintain their seriousness.

Renner recorded Jack Black's audition to review later. That was why there was always a camera in the audition room.

"Thank you, Mr. Jack Black. You can go now."

"Thank you, director."

Jack Black didn't know if he passed the audition. The producer's and director's expressions were too stern. He swallowed hard and left the room confused.

"He'll get the part."

After Jack Black left the audition room, Kazir gave his verdict.

"Well, of all the actors who auditioned for Alan's role, Black Jack fits the part."

Enrico Pusi had no problem.

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[Shout out to Dave, Warslide, DragonEz, and Nikola N!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 47


"So I guess this is our cast."

Producer Enrico Pusi read out the actors who had passed the audition. He looked at director Grey who was tapping his fingers on the table.

To be honest, most of the important roles in the movie were taken by Kazir's acquaintances.

Well, that was the way Hollywood worked. Directors like to hire actors they know and work with.

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

David Fincher and Brad Pitt.

Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Christopher Nolan and Michael Caine.

Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks.

And so many more.

Let's just say that directors like to work with someone they can trust.

It was a known fact.

Of course, producer Enrico Pusi tried to include some of his acquaintances in the film.

Both of them understand that this is the way Hollywood works. As long as the actors and actresses fit the roles and their acting is good, they would agree to hire them.

"Enrico, I hope the actors can sign the contract as soon as possible. I want to start filming in a month."

"I understand."

The movie didn't need serious tone. The mission of The Hangover was to make the audience laugh.

As long as the audience laughs, the movie is half successful.

'You just have to make that half successful into a profitable half. As long as people see the movie and make money, that's all that matters. '

"That's my job."

Producers were usually the ones who would negotiate with actors for salary. More precisely, the producer would talk to the agents. Then the day of war would officially begin.

Fortunately, all the actors were small time. Only Ed Helms was the hardest to convince. With the success of Napoleon Dynamite, Ed Helms' agent would definitely ask for more than a million.

"That's good to hear. Now, if you will excuse me. I have a party to go to."

Kazir was invited to Tom Cruise's party.

To be honest, he didn't know why he was invited. He had only a few interactions with the famous actor. In fact, he was not even sure if Tom Cruise remembered him. After all, Kazir was just a crew helper at the time.

The audition was officially over and the crew had the list of actors they wanted to hire. Of course, they also have replacement actors.

For example, if Ed Helms didn't agree to the salary and turned the role down, producer Enrico Pusi and director Kazir Grey could hire their second choice instead.

After all, there is no such thing as irreplaceable in Hollywood.

People say that Robert Downey Jr. is the only Iron Man. But everyone knows that the reason he became Iron Man was because Tom Cruise turned the role down. So basically, the first choice for the role of Tony Stark was none other than Tom Cruise.

"No one else is calling?"

Jack Black leaned back in his chair holding a bottle of beer. He had just finished his audition and decided to have a drink after a hard day.

The audition has so many actors. It was a very stressful moment, especially for an unknown actor like him.

"No, there's no call..."

His agent was sitting next to him. They were both nervous. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Jack Black had been personally invited to the audition. So they believed his chances of getting the part were high.

His part was one of the three main characters! Of course he was nervous.

That was why they were drinking, to relieve their nervousness. Because the stress is killing them right now.

Suddenly, the agent's phone rang.

They both jumped in surprise. The agent answered the phone and kept saying "yes, yes, yes".

Jack Black listened next to him.

When the call ended, they paused and looked at each other.

"... You can have the part, but they can only offer you 25 thousand dollars."

"We both know the answer."

Fuck the salary.

What they need is the opportunity.

Besides, they didn't have the ability to negotiate the salary.

If the agent tried to negotiate, the producer would probably choose another actor with a lower salary. It was that simple.

"Don't worry, I already said that you agree. You can't refuse it now."

"As if I would turn it down."

"We'll go to Warner Bros tomorrow and sign the contract."

The two started laughing and ordered two more bottles of alcohol.

Like Jack Black, the other actors who got the roles celebrated.

Even Ed Helms sighed with relief. He knew his position was precarious. One wrong move and he could fall and his career. He received a few invitations, but decided to work with Kazir again. As the director who made him famous, Ed Helms trusts him.

... As for the salary, his agent would be responsible for that. This was Ed Helms' first time acting in a $35 million movie.

While dozens of actors were celebrating, Kazir arrived at Tom Cruise's party in Beverly Hills.

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were still married that year. They were still living "happily ever after".

"Good evening, Kazir Grey."

"Hello, Mr. Cruise. Hello, Mrs. Cruise."

As the hosts of this party, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman Cruise greeted the attendees.

"I can't believe that the young guy I met on the set of Rain Man is now a successful director. Congratulations Kazir!"

"Tom, I can't believe you remember me."

Kazir was happy to know that a superstar like Tom Cruise remembered him.

"To be honest, I still remember your face. We had a conversation back then. You said you wanted to become a director. I thought you had already given up. But when I heard about Napoleon Dynamite and saw your face in the newspaper, I suddenly remembered our conversation."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Kazir could tell that Tom Cruise was not lying.

Kazir Grey was a helper on the crew of Rain Man. It was his first job after leaving his father's house.

It was then that Kazir had a conversation with Tom Cruise. After the success of Top Gun, Tom Cruise became one of the most famous actors in Hollywood.

But Tom Cruise had the patience to listen to Kazir, a young delusional.

A young man who believed that he would become a famous director without knowing anything about the industry was delusional. Even Tom Cruise believed it.

But who would have thought that the man he talked to in 1988 would actually make his dream come true?

So Tom Cruise decided to invite Kazir Grey to his party. He was interested in the man.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 48


The party was nice. Kazir chatted with Tom Cruise. He realized that the actor was not bad at all. At least he was different from what he thought.

Since Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman Cruise were the hosts of the party, they had to talk to every attendant. So their conversation ended quickly.

At least their first meeting was positive.

'Tom Cruise is shooting Mission: Impossible this year.'

He was not sure if the movie had already started shooting. But he had heard that the project had already been approved by Paramount.

CEO Brad Grey of Paramount might be salty right now because Kazir decided to work with Warner Bros.

Well, Warner Bros' offer was very sincere, so Kazir naturally chose them.

"Hey, who's that guy?"

Since Nicole Kidman is Australian, she invited her compatriots to the party.

Mel Gibson asked Russell Crowe next to him. Mel Gibson is an Australian who starred in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon.

He was also the star, director and producer of Braveheart. That's right, he made and starred in his own movie.

That's a tough job.

"Him? I think he is Kazir Grey."

Russell Crowe was not sure.

The man just stood in the corner and looked around. He made no impression, as if he was just an air. Kazir Grey was like a man watching a movie, he was not there at all.

"So that's Kazir Grey..."

Mel Gibson raised his eyebrow as he heard an interesting piece of information.

"Mel, you are clearly drunk. Don't do anything you'll regret."

Russell Crowe reminded him. They are both Australians and their circle in Hollywood is not that strong.

At least not enough to stand up to the power of the Jewish circle.

"Don't worry Russell, I'm sober."

He laughed and approached the man.

His movie had been beaten by Napoleon Dynamite on the annual box office list.

He wanted to know what kind of person the director was.

As an actor who wants to become a director, Mel Gibson wanted to hear Kazir's opinion.

"Hello, Kazir Grey."

"Good evening, Mr. Gibson."

"No, just call me Mel."

Mel Gibson has a slight Australian accent when he speaks. Perhaps the alcohol has awakened his mother's tongue.

"Kazir, congratulations on the success of Napoleon Dynamite."

"Thank you. It's an honor to be recognized by someone like you."

As an unknown director, Kazir was happy that the famous Mel Gibson knew him.

In fact, Mel Gibson was surprised by his reaction. He thought Kazir was going to be arrogant.

Suddenly he felt sorry for himself. He talked to the man for a few minutes before leaving.

"How was it?"

Russell asked curiously. As an actor, having a good relationship with directors was the best thing.

"Modest..."

"Hm?"

"He's too humble."

How can he lash out at a person who keeps saying he is a fan?

Kazir began to list all the movies Mel Gibson had starred in. It was impossible to be angry in front of a man like Kazir.

"I see. Then he's not so bad."

"..."

Mel Gibson didn't answer. He was still bitter that his movie was much worse than a comedy.

His only chance was the Oscar.

That was one of the reasons why he came to this party. To make connections and ask people to vote for his movie.

Kazir also said that Mel Gibson would win the Best Director Oscar. While Braveheart would win Best Picture!

This sentence completely changed his opinion about the guy.

Ashamed of himself, Mel Gibson excused himself and left with a blushing face.

How could he hate someone like that? Probably never.

While Kazir enjoyed his champagne, the others looked at him.

"Nicole, you mean this guy is the director of Napoleon Dynamite?"

Naomi Watts asked Nicole Kidman Cruise.

"That's right. I'm actually surprised that Tom know him. Apparently, Kazir is a crew member on Rain Man." Nicole nodded.

Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman are known to be friends. They are also both Australians.

"..."

Naomi kept looking at the man. To be honest, she found him attractive.

Kazir had a fit body, tall and buff. He is also handsome.

From the looks of him, he is the type who takes care of his body. Definitely a plus for Naomi.

In the end, Naomi bit her lip and approached him. Unlike Australia, where she is famous, Hollywood is a battlefield. It's hard for her to get big roles.

"Hi, I'm Naomi Watts."

"I'm Kazir Grey. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Watts."

"You can call me Naomi. I heard you're a director." Naomi tucked her hair behind her ear.

She is a beautiful woman. One of so many men's fantasies.

And right now she is talking to Kazir Grey.

"That's right. I'm the director of Napoleon Dynamite."

There was no reason to keep it a secret. This is a circle, and everyone knows everyone.

"I see. Would you mind telling me about yourself?"

"Well, I come from a broken family. Raised by my father."

Kazir didn't know where to start, so he decided to talk about his family. He realized later that his introduction was quite troubling.

"That's sad to hear."

Naomi showed her acting by expressing that she was sad.

As for the other women, they clicked their tongues when they realized that Naomi Watts was talking to Kazir.

Most of these women are actresses.

Every one of them understands that the fastest way to stardom is to have a relationship with a successful director/producer.

Of everyone at the party, Kazir Grey is the most calm and collected. He is handsome and talented. Considering that two of his films have grossed over $100 million at the North American box office.

They were glaring daggers at Naomi Watts, but the woman didn't care.

This is Hollywood. The competition for women is much more deadly than for men. They will smile at each other, but each of them knows how badly they want to rip each other's faces off.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 49


Naomi Watts, currently 28 years old. She is a famous actress. Born in UK, but has lived most of her life in Australia and became an actress there. Although her fame in Australia is nothing compared to Hollywood.

Naomi Watts tried many things to break through the market. But so far she has achieved nothing.

'I need a breaking point to reach stardom.'

Because she is a friend of Mrs. Cruise, Naomi Watts used this connection to audition for many roles.

She's been in Hollywood since the early 90s, but she wasn't famous. To be clear, Naomi Watts was trying to find a way to succeed in the vanity fair that is Hollywood.

Unlike Nicole Kidman, who married Tom Cruise and became famous easily, Naomi Watts' career path was bumpy.

But the man before her was different.

Kazir Grey, because of his movies that have more than $100 million North American box office, his name began to get more attraction.

To be honest, Kazir's status was not that dazzling, but Naomi Watts was willing to do anything just to be a star, even a director who had only recently become known.

Kazir also made Ed Helms a star with Napoleon Dynamite. She hoped that she could be like Ed Helms.

Directors are also known for making stars.

So obviously Naomi Watts wanted to ride the wave to the top. Simple as that.

She smiled as she noticed the women staring at her. She liked the attention. She liked that she had made the first move and caught Kazir Grey's attention.

"Kazir, I'm interested in your film. How about we go somewhere quiet and talk about it?"

She whispered, leaning slightly closer to Kazir.

The woman was clearly showing signs.

As for Kazir...

'Naomi Watts. A very beautiful woman. I think she became famous after Mulholland Drive. Then she starred in King Kong as the muse of the giant gorilla.'

Her beauty is impeccable... He could see her cleavage because the woman was leaning towards him.

Kazir smiled and held out his hand.

"Shall we go to the garden?"

"That's good to hear."

Naomi Watts' lips twitched. But being an actress, she knows how to control her expression.

She thought the man would ask her to leave the party and take her somewhere quiet. Like a hotel or his house.

But Kazir took her to the garden instead. She was disappointed. Especially since she liked the man.

Kazir is handsome and fit. He looks like an action star with a stature of more than 6 feet tall.

The reason Kazir didn't invite Naomi to a quiet place was simple. He knew what was going on.

He likes Naomi Watts. Kazir didn't have a problem with her. But he was recently divorced and didn't want to get involved with a lot of women.

He also respects Reese Witherspoon. He didn't want to do something behind her back, even though their relationship was platonic.

Mind over dick.

The garden was well lit. There were people in the garden, but it was not crowded, unlike the ballroom.

Kazir Grey and Naomi Watts were having a nice conversation. The man is witty and he knows how to entertain a man.

'When he talks about filmmaking, he looks like a child excited to share his hobby.'

She found him childlike and she liked it.

"You're a funny man, Kazir."

"Is that so?"

She smiled and twirled her wine glass.

"So, Kazir... I hear you're starting a project. Do you have a suitable role for me?"

"I'm sorry Naomi, we already have a list of actresses who passed the audition. My movie only has small scenes with women. It's not worthy of a beautiful woman like you."

"..."

She didn't know what to say. Praised and rejected at the same time, she felt something strange in her heart.

Suddenly she wondered what Kazir's face would be like if she seduced him into the bedroom. She licked her lips at the thought.

Unfortunately, their interaction ended when a person interrupted them.

"Kazir, I am so happy to meet you!"

A man with short brown hair entered their sight. The man was smiling, and he seemed to be a close friend of Kazir's.

"Congratulations, Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite are a big hit!"

"Carl..."

Kazir Grey looked at the agent who had dropped him after the end of the contract.

"Hehe, that woman is...?"

"She's Naomi Watts. Naomi, this is Carl Morin. He is an agent from WMA."

"I see... Let's talk next time, Kazir. It's nice meeting you."

Naomi Watts is a smart woman. She sensed there was something going on between Kazir and Carl.

She was a client of WMA and she wanted to keep her contract. So she didn't dare disturb them. She didn't have the ability to stand up to a strong agency like WMA.

"The pleasure is mine." Kazir nodded and let the woman go.

"Kazir, I heard CAA signed you."

Once Naomi Watts was gone, Carl Morin started talking to Kazir about his intentions.

"That's right. A man named Salvatore Barlowe contacted me and I signed a deal with him."

"I see."

Carl Morin smiled, but he actually cursed this Salvatore Barlowe.

'I don't know who the hell this Agent Salvatore Barlowe is, but he is clearly a newbie in this game.'

"Carl, why do you want to talk to me?"

"Haha, of course I want to talk to you. We are friends."

"We are not friends," Kazir replied sternly.

This agent kicked him out of the WMA after he accidentally dropped a tiny amount of water on the Vice President's suit. He actually apologized, but the end was expected. He was blacklisted in the WMA.

Maybe even now the WMA hasn't removed his name from the list.

"... Well," Carl cleared his throat after realizing that Kazir was not joking.

"Kazir, sign a contract with me. I promise you I can treat you better than CAA. William Morris is willing to put resources into you. I assure you of that. WMA can influence the film companies and your movies will get better deals."

Kazir didn't flinch, even though Carl was being sincere. As far as sincerity went, Salvatore Barlowe was much better.

What WMA can do, CAA can do.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 50


"Kazir, we worked together for three years. You know what I can do. The connection I have. The opportunities I can give you!"

Carl Morin began to feel confident as he watched Kazir listen to him. He believed in his abilities.

Compared to the unknown agent Salvatore Barlowe, Carl Morin believed he could take Kazir to a higher level.

"..."

But Kazir kept his mouth shut and stared at him. He didn't bother to talk to Carl Morin and let the agent waste his saliva.

"Kazir. You know that your first three movies happened because of me. You know how I contacted so many people just for you."

In fact, Carl Morin was one of the main reasons why he became a director and made three horror movies.

But it was impossible to forget how Carl Morin betrayed Kazir.

"I heard you signed a contract with a young director from Hong Kong?"

"T- that's right. Leon Lau has potential. I saw his experimental movie and it's good."

Carl Morin knew Kazir's intention in talking about his new signed director. But Carl Morin was too stubborn to tell the truth.

"Well, if you think he's talented, why don't you put all your resources into him instead of me? I'm sure he'll be happy." Kazir said.

"... Anyway, Kazir. I promise you that the WMA will be your strongest supporter."

Carl Morin was already sweating after spitting.

"..."

But Kazir Grey just stared at him.

Left with no choice, Carl Morin gritted his teeth and used his last card.

"7% commission! As long as you signed a contract with me, I promise you that my commission will only be 7%!"

"What about breach of contract?"

"WMA will cover any damages."

"Looks like you planned this seriously." Kazir touched his chin.

"Of course. Can't you see the sincerity of the WMA? Kazir, we want you back. Don't forget your promise to become one of the most sought-after directors in Hollywood!"

Kazir didn't forget his promise. In fact, he did his best to make this dream come true.

Unfortunately, Kazir was not interested in signing a contract with Carl Morin. Especially after what he had done to him.

"I'm sorry Carl, I'm not changing my agency. Even though my time at CAA is short, CAA has been so good to me."

"That... 5 percent! Kazir, I think you will be tempted by that kind of deal! 5% commission. That's the lowest I can offer you."

Carl Morin felt like he was bleeding inside as he spoke. 5% commission was a very good deal. He was basically cutting off his livelihood.

He stared at Kazir, hoping for a positive reaction.

Unfortunately, Kazir didn't react. He just stared at Carl Morin without any emotion.

"Sorry, Carl, Salvatore Barlowe offered 3% commission. I don't think you can do that."

"What?"

Carl Morin was stunned.

'3% commission? How can an agent do that? Salvatore Barlowe thinks Kazir Grey is worth that condition? This is insanity!'

The sweaty agent cursed. He could not believe that an agent would offer something so great.

He would understand if Salvatore was trying to lure Steven Spielberg or James Cameron. But Kazir Grey was just a lucky director. He had no substantial power to prove that he was worth a 3% commission.

"...I understand," Carl Morin felt as if his molars were bleeding.

He clenched his fists and said...

"3% commission! If Salvatore Barlowe can do it, so can I!"

He roared and the other guests looked at him.

"Sorry Carl, I trust Salvatore more than you."

Kazir shook his head and started to walk away.

Carl Morin realized something.

"W-wait a minute Kazir! Did you just let me talk and waste my time when you will reject me from the beginning?"

He glared at Kazir. He felt like he was being played. He was humiliated.

"That's right. Unlike Salvatore Barlowe, you are much more stubborn. I know you will keep talking just to convince me."

"You bastard! Who do you think you are? Kazir Grey, you better remember the reason why you reached your position! Without me, you will never become a director! I paved the way for you!"

Carl Morin's face was red as a tomato. He was angry that the man in front of him disregarded him after all he had done to help him achieve his status.

"I can't deny it. You really helped me for three years. However, I know that you've also been fucking my ex-wife for three years."

"T-that's!"

"I know that. So you don't have to say anything. Carl Morin, it's your own fault that you dumped me after the contract ended. I don't owe you anything."

Kazir left Carl Morin stunned.

The agent thought he was being discreet about his relationship with Cassandra. But it seemed that Kazir already knew.

He had been played to the point of humiliation.

Kazir Grey had actually found out in his past life.

In his past life, after the divorce settlement, Cassandra said that she was also fucking Carl Morin. Just to rub salt in the wound, the bitch didn't hesitate to hurt him.

Fortunately, Kazir had already moved on and didn't care about Carl and Cassandra. They can live their lives all they want, but Kazir didn't have anything to do with them.

That's right, Cassandra is betraying two people. She's for the street.

Kazir left the party unrepentant. In fact, he slept better that night. He felt as if everything that bound him was gone.

Unlike Carl Morin, Salvatore was much more passionate about his work. The agent was constantly contacting people to join Kazir's crew. Heck, the agent even helped out with odd jobs. Perhaps Salvatore Barlowe was grateful because Kazir hired one of his clients, Hae-Won Park.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 51


"Sigh..."

Producer Enrico Pusi entered the room in a bad mood. He sat down next to Kazir, who was redrawing his storyboard.

As a director, Kazir has a considerable talent for drawing. He had already finished the storyboard. He was just polishing it. So that once the shooting started, he would never waste time on experimental shots.

Especially when the project signed an insurance contract with Merrill Lynch. He knew how pesky the insurance company was. As much as possible, they would do their best to keep the production costs within the quota.

Sometimes directors hate insurance companies because they stifle their creativity.

Perhaps one of the directors the insurance company hated was James Cameron. This man would never hesitate to overspend just to get the best shots.

"Sigh..."

"Why are you sighing?"

Because of their positions, the two need to have clear communication. So they talk to each other almost every day to make sure the project runs smoothly.

The job of a producer in general was to oversee the production process in film, television, or other commercial productions. This includes organizing, managing, and overseeing every single phase and aspect, including talent, creative team, deadlines, executives, and finances.

To be honest, their job was much more tedious than that of the director. So having a talented producer who could control the entire project was an important part.

"We have problems with Ed Helms' salary."

Enrico Pusi talked to Ed Helms' agent for the second time, and the result wasn't good.

"Are they still asking for an extravagant amount?"

"$5 million. Hell, even Brad Pitt didn't make that much when he was in Se7en!"

Kazir just shrugged as he listened to his producer's grumbling.

The more time he spent with Enrico, the more he realized that he was serious about his job. He had worse eye bags than Kazir right now.

'Maybe he wants to use The Hangover as a springboard for his career.'

It was not a bad intention. Everyone has his own motives.

'At least he thinks The Hangover will be successful.'

"I don't understand why they do that. Everybody knows Ed Helms is not that famous. Why are they asking for the impossible?"

So far, only Napoleon Dynamite has been Ed Helms' biggest role. In fact, most of the success came from Kazir, who directed the movie. He had a good vision of what he wanted to make.

Kazir just listened. He didn't bother to explain why this situation happened.

'It's probably because I rejected the "sincerity" of the WMA. That didn't sit well with them, so they're trying to kick me in another way.'

However, both sides understood that this was not the right thing to do.

Kazir was able to find another actor to play Stu. He didn't have to be so attached to Ed Helms.

WMA also understood it. If they tried to play tough, Ed Helms would lose this project. If things got worse, Ed Helms might jump to another agency. Because WMA kept messing with his decision.

"Enrico, I suggest you tell them that Ed Helms is not our first choice. We have a lot of actors to choose from."

"But I thought you wanted to hire Ed Helms?"

"Let's not kid ourselves. Yes, I want him to work with me again. But I put the project ahead of him. I think WMA and Ed Helms understand that, too."

Kazir said while drawing the scene where Mike Tyson hits Alan.

'Speaking of Mike Tyson, the legendary boxer was released from prison last year. '

Mike Tyson is a different animal after his time in jail.

If there's one person who can kill a person with one punch, it's probably Mike Tyson.

Fortunately, Enrico Pusi convinced Mike Tyson to make a cameo in the movie.

Enrico told them that they could use the movie to promote Mike Tyson's fight against Bruce Seldon.

Like movies, boxing fights need promotion.

"I am going to talk to Ed Helms tomorrow. I will tell him that 1.5 million is the best I can offer. If they don't agree, we'll find another actor. By the way, can you recommend anyone?"

"Hm...? I think there's an actor who auditioned for the role of Stu and made it to the third round. If I'm not mistaken, his name is Steve Carell. We can contact him if the negotiations with Ed Helms don't work out."

"Okay... Are you really sure you want to keep the movie R-rated?I know the pervasive language and some sexual content is a must in this kind of movie, but why don't you tone it down?"

"Enrico, we have already discussed this with Terry Semel. We both agree that the movie will lose its power if we keep it PG-13."

Kazir stopped what he was doing and stared into Enrico's eyes.

Like most directors, Kazir didn't like it when someone tried to stifle his creativity.

He wanted to make the movie as close to the original as possible. So making it PG-13 would be disastrous.

"O- Okay. I will never talk about it again."

Enrico Pusi realized that he was overstepping his bounds. He knew so many directors who would fight the producers just to keep control of the filming.

So far, his relationship with Kazir had been good, and he wanted to keep it that way. He believed this would not be the last time he worked with Kazir.

He sighed and left the room after telling him his problem with Ed Helms' salary.

"Oh, before I leave, Nokia has agreed to sponsor the movie. They would pay us $1 million initially. Once the movie makes over $100 million at the North American box office, they will pay us another $1 million."

"What about the global box office? Do they have conditions?"

"We are still negotiating. But we already have an agreement that they will sponsor the movie."

"That's good to hear."

Just like that, the $35 million budget of The Hangover made back $1 million. Product placement is one way to recoup your investment.

'This does not mean that it is easy to get $2 million. The box office of "The Hangover" has to reach a certain number.'

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Hollywood What If Chapter 52


There are many reasons why movie companies like PG-13 movies.

Movies can sell more tickets if they are rated PG-13 or lower. Families prefer to see a movie that their children can enjoy.

This was one of the reasons why Disney became the strongest movie company for the next three decades. They used this advantage to take over their competitors.

Some Warner Bros shareholders hope that The Hangover will be rated PG-13. Because it would be more profitable.

Of course, R-rated can be profitable too. Se7en, which was just released in North America, made more than $400 million worldwide. That was a huge profit for a R-Rated thriller suspense film.

But The Hangover was not a thriller suspense, it was a comedy. So they hoped to convince Kazir Grey to change the script.

Unfortunately, Kazir Grey was firm in his decision. It was written in the contract that he had full authority over the creation of The Hangover. Even the right to edit was his alone.

So they decided to keep their mouths shut and let Kazir do his job.

"John, are you sure about this?"

Ed Helms had a complicated look on his face as he looked at his agent.

"Ed, the WMA wants the best for you. Can't you see that? If they agree to $3 million, that will be your salary."

John and Enrico negotiated the salary down to 3 million dollars. But Enrico was still not satisfied. He felt that hiring Ed Helms for that amount of money was not worth it.

"..."

Ed Helms felt that 3 million dollars was a good amount. But he knew damn well that he was not worth that amount. At least not now.

As for his agent, John Harris, the agent wanted to fight for a higher salary. After all, 10% of that amount would be his commission.

"I understand. But I can agree with 1.5 million, you don't have to fight for more. I don't want to interfere with the shooting schedule of the movie."

Two weeks were left before shooting officially began.

Except for Ed Helms, all the actors had already signed contracts.

"Alright."

To be honest, John Harris didn't know why WMA was asking him to make trouble for the project.

Still, it was an order from the top. He had to carry it out.

'Of course I want Ed to be in the cast. But I'm looking for more money. That's my duty as an agent.'

He was not wrong... Agents are known in the industry as leeches. They will demand a higher salary, which will also increase the production cost.

In fact, the main reason for the increase in production costs was the actors' salaries.

While agent John Harris and producer Enrico Pusi were engaged in a tug of war, Salvatore Barlowe went to Kazir's office.

Since Kazir had started a studio company that was currently shooting The Hangover, Kazir spent most of his time in the office polishing the script and storyboard.

He didn't even go back to his apartment that week. He slept and ate at his office. It was almost as if his office was his bedroom.

When Salvatore entered the office, he was surprised to find so much rubbish on the floor.

'Dozens of sketches and many cup noddles... This is a terrible scene. '

'I know that some creative people are like this, but it's still a sight to see,' Salvatore thought.

He found Kazir tapping away at his keyboard.

"How was it?"

"I got it."

"Phew, that's good to hear. I thought it would take a while."

"Well, Alan Shayne Productions wanted to sell it for $3 million, so I didn't hesitate. You said that this copyright is important."

Salvatore Barlowe placed the documents on the table.

Kazir read only a few words

"Bourne Identity."

After realizing that Tom Cruise had bought the film version of Mission: Impossible, Kazir decided to buy the Bourne franchise before it was too late.

'No one thinks this movie is going to be a huge success.'

"Kazir, I can't think of any reason why you would want to buy the rights to adapt this novel. A 3 million dollars at that. Do you want to make an action movie?"

Alan Shayne Productions bought the film rights of The Bourne Identity in the 80s. They even made a TV movie, but it didn't end well.

Since then, the movie rights of Bourne Identity stayed in their film libraries for many years.

Bourne Identity is actually a famous novel from the 80s. It's one of the founders of the spy novel.

But because novels and comics are losing their power after digitalization, many people have already forgotten about the Bourne Identity.

"That's right. If things go well, maybe I can do an action movie next year. I've been dreaming about doing an action movie all my life."

"... Are you sure you can do it?"

Salvatore was skeptical. As his agent, Salvatore hoped Kazir would stay in his comfort zone.

Shooting a comedy and an action movie is very different. An action film is much more complicated.

"Don't worry, Salvatore, I'm not going to do The Bourne Identity for the next three years. I have something to experiment with"

Of all the scripts he had written, one had a very small budget. He was confident that he could make it with his own money... If he had to.

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

From the moment he first spoke with Kazir, Salvatore knew that Kazir was impossible to control.

Well, not that he complained.

3% of the $2.5 million Kazir received went into his pocket.

It might look small, but it was only the beginning. He knew he would get more from Kazir.

In fact, because of his connection to Director Grey, Salvatore was able to get his client a role.

This was exactly why agents like to have a director under them. Because their actors would always have a job.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 53


The next day, producer Enrico Pusi and agent John Harris began the negotiations.

They spent two hours wasting their spit just to get an agreement.

In the end, Ed Helms' salary was $1.7 million. It was a large amount, to be honest. A person who can make more than $1 million a year is considered part of the 10%.

That's right.

According to a YouGov survey from January 2022, America believe that ten percent of households in their country have an annual income of more than $1 million. That's the privileged class.

Ed Helms breathed a sigh of relief when his agent told him he got the part. Plus, his salary was a whopping $1.7 million.

But he would only get half of that first. This was usually written into the contract to ensure that the actor would finish the filming.

If the contract was broken, the actor had to pay damages. In the case of Ed Helms, he promised to finish the filming without any problems.

As for the WMA's intention to make Kazir's job difficult, they didn't have too much influence on the project.

As long as Ed Helms wanted to join the crew, the WMA didn't have the power to stop him. Even John Harris wanted Ed Helms to get the role. Well, at least they agreed on a good salary. It was worth the risk.

"What do you think?"

Salvatore asked Kazir as they watched Hae-Won Park's stunt routine. The half-Korean actor knew how to do action stunts.

Most of the crew was hired by Salvatore Barlowe. CAA also hires other crew members such as makeup artists and cinematographers.

So most of the crew came from CAA.

Kazir was impressed. Within a month, his small crew of fifteen became forty. The process was very fast.

Salvatore found the right people to fill the positions. Especially Hae-Won Park, this guy actually knows Kung Fu.

"So Hae-Won Park really knows Kung Fu?"

"Ah, no. To be precise, Hae-Won Park is a fifth dan black belt Taekwondo practitioner."

"Impressive."

Kazir didn't know what fifth dan meant. But he knew that Black Belt in Taekwondo was a high level.

Judging by Hae-Won Park's movement, the man clearly knew what he was doing.

"Salvatore, have you ever talked to Hae-Won Park about changing his screen name?"

"We're actually thinking about it, but we're still having trouble coming up with a name."

"How about Enzo?"

To be honest, he wanted to suggest the name Bruce because Hae-Won Park reminded him of that certain legendary person.

"Enzo? I'll talk about him later regarding your suggestion."

The reason they watched Hae-Won Park do stunts was because there was a scene in The Hangover where a naked Asian man got out of the trunk of a car and beat up the three protagonists.

That's right, the Asian gang boss was Hae-Won Park. That's his role in the movie.

That role was actually meant to be a gag, but he changed the script because Salvatore asked him to invite Hae-Won Park in his movie.

So now the role of the Asian gang boss became badass. Especially when Hae-Won Park has beautiful features of Asian people.

Since the script said that the gang boss would beat the three protagonists, Hae-Won Park wanted to show Kazir that he knew a lot about action stunts. Hae-Won Park's older brother was a stunt director in Hong Kong.

"Tell him to stop, I've seen enough."

"Okay."

Salvatore Barlowe walked up to Hae-Won Park. The Korean actor walked over to Kazir and greeted him.

"Director Grey."

"I'm entrusting you with the action scene. Keep your body healthy, I don't want anything bad to happen."

"I understand."

Being Korean, Park Hae-Won knew his disadvantage in Hollywood. He could not get a good role because of his nationality.

And although people might shrug it off, Asians were actually discriminated against in this place.

One time, when Hae-Won tried to audition for a role as an extra, the producer yelled at him and kicked him out of the crew. The producer kept saying that the Japanese were not allowed after what they did in World War II.

Park Hae-Won tried to explain his nationality, but the producer wouldn't listen.

So he wanted to make sure that his role in this movie would bring him prosperity. As long as the audience appreciated him, he would have achieved his goal.

His salary was very small, 25 thousand dollars, but he felt that it was worth it.

"See you tomorrow at the script reading."

"Yes, director."

Hae-Won Park said goodbye and left after showing his stunts.

"So who's the person you want to recommend as my assistant?"

"Kazir, you already know him."

"Hm?"

Kazir raised his eyebrows. He had no idea.

Since this project was bigger than Napoleon Dynamite, Kazir needed an assistant director to help him.

The role of an assistant director on a movie includes tracking daily progress of the production schedule, organizing logistics, preparing daily call sheets, checking in with cast and crew, and maintaining order on the set.

... It might be the same as the producer, but the assistant director had to take this job deeper. The producer would only oversee, while an assistant director would have to participate in the work.

Obviously, Kazir needed someone to help him with these tasks. After all, he is only one person. He doesn't have the strength to do all these things.

"I hired a recent graduate of the UCLA School of Theater, Film, and Television.

"... Are you talking about..."

"That's right. One of your interns from the last movie signed a contract with me. I recommend him to be your assistant director. He wants to be a director, but he needs experience, so I hope you will help him."

"You're quite greedy to sign another director."

"The more the merrier."

"I need to see him first, because I still don't know who you're talking about."

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Hollywood What If Chapter 54


"We already talked to the city of Las Vegas and they agreed to let us shoot in the streets. However, we have to make sure that we never disturb the public."

"That's good to hear. We will shoot the street scenes as quickly as possible so that we do not cause any traffic."

As they walked to their next destination, Kazir and Salvatore had a conversation about the Las Vegas shooting.

"As long as we don't make a movie that makes Las Vegas look bad, we'll be fine."

They reached the room where there was a small television and a VHS player.

"Director Grey."

A young black man greeted them. He had an Afro haircut. A very eye-catching hairstyle.

"Fremont Smith? So you're the one Salvatore was talking about?"

Kazir remembered Fremont Smith because of his hair. The Afro definitely rocks.

Unfortunately, Kazir didn't have the hair strength to try the style. Instead, most of his hair grew around his mouth. His beard usually grew quickly. Sometimes he didn't have time to trim it because he was busy.

"That's right. I sent my experimental film to Salvatore and he gave me a contract."

"I see."

Kazir didn't have a problem. He had heard that Fremont Smith got good grades in college. He was one of the top graduates.

Many students graduated from the UCLA film school. But only a very small percentage made it. The only director Kazir remembered graduating from UCLA was Francis Ford Coppola. He is the director of The Godfather.

Kazir witnessed Fremont's work on the crew during the filming of Napoleon Dynamite. He was good at his job. He was one of the people who adjusted lighting and camera angles with Renner.

He clearly knows what he's doing.

"How long is your experimental film?"

"45 minutes, Director Grey."

"Since there's a TV and a VHS player here, I assume you came prepared."

"That's right."

Fremont nodded enthusiastically. He knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Joining a major production crew after graduation was important for his resume. Especially if his position would be as an assistant director.

To be a successful director, Fremont Smith needed experience. The best place to get experience was on big budget movies like The Hangover.

"Let's see it."

"Thanks."

Salvatore sighed with relief after seeing Kazir's reaction.

They sat down and watched the movie.

Based on the color palette of the movie, the tone of the movie was dark and bloody.

Just as Kazir expected, the movie was about a person who kills people...

The plot was simple, the shots were simple, and even the dialog was too monotonous.

One thing was for sure. It was too bloody. Red blood here, red blood there, red blood everywhere.

But he respected the fact that Fremont successfully finished a movie. As long as the movie was completed, it was a good movie.

He knew so many movie projects that were stopped before they were finished.

"It's good."

"This is our school project before we graduate. All the actors are my classmates."

"That explains their acting."

"So what do you think?" Salvatore joined in.

"I have no problem hiring him as my assistant director, but I have one last question."

Kazir looked at Fremont Smith.

"Director Grey, I will answer your question as best I can."

Fremont nodded.

"Fremont, how do you feel about action movies?"

"Action movies? I think action movies are man's romance."

"You're hired."

"T- Thank you, Director Grey!"

Kazir held out his hand and Fremont shook it.

"Salvatore, contact producer Enrico Pusi later. Tell him to sign a contract with Fremont as my assistant director."

"I understand... But I'm just wondering, why did you ask Fremont about action movies?"

Kazir just chuckled.

"I want to know Fremont's opinion about action movies. Simple as that."

"And you like his answer?"

"That's right."

Kazir wanted to know if Fremont was interested in making action movies.

Kazir was already preparing his plan to make an action movie if all went well.

If his Continental Cinematic Universe became successful, Kazir would need a partner to help him make the franchise.

If things went well, Kazir would make Fremont Smith his partner to create the action universe.

'It is impossible for me to make two or three movies a year. I need someone to take over some of the projects.'

Just like Marvel Studio did when their movies became popular.

Marvel Studio hired many directors to make dozens of movies and TV shows every year.

The next day came and Fremont officially became Kazir's assistant director.

"Today is the script reading and all the actors are here."

Fremont told Kazir before entering the room.

"Okay."

Script reading is an important part of pre-production. To make sure the actors know their parts. To make sure they have an idea of what they're going to do.

'You can see whether an actor has read the script or not by attending the script reading.'

To be honest, Kazir didn't like actors who would casually act without even reading the script.

'Maybe people call this method acting, adlib, or improvisational acting. Some people may call it explosive acting... But please have the goddamn professionalism to read the script.'

Kazir had no problem with adlib acting... As long as they knew what they were doing.

Especially actors who forgot their dialog. They were annoying. There are so many actors who have trouble saying their lines.

"Good morning, Director Grey."

Ed Helms was the first to get up and greet Kazir. Then the actors began to greet him one by one.

The script reading began.

The cast were:

Phil: Bradley Cooper

Stu: Ed Helms

Alan: Jack Black

Doug: Pedro Pascal

Mr. Chow: Enzo Park

Jade: Reese Witherspoon

Of course, Kazir would never forget to include Reese Witherspoon in the cast. As long as the role was appropriate, he would try to squeeze Reese into it.

That's how Hollywood works.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 55


The official filming of The Hangover started.

At the Caesars Palace, dozens of reporters started taking pictures for the press conference of The Hangover.

Producer Enrico Pusi and Kazir Grey faced the cameras and let the reporters ask them bunches of questions.

Of course, the Producer and Director had to answer them the best as they could.

Thankfully, most of the questions were mild. Someone actually tried to ask about Kazir's past relationship but Kazir answered it well.

"As long as it's not related to The Hangover, I will not answer it."

"Director Grey, is it true that Ed Helms tried to ask for a salary of 5 million dollars."

"That's right."

There was no reason to keep it a secret. Most people in the circle knew what happened.

These reporters were under Time Warner. Time Warner was one of the media giants in the world. So Warner Bros had a strong influence with the backing of Time Warner.

Kazir understood that some of the reporters' questions were for the purpose of attracting attention.

Such as 'Kazir's new love life' or 'Friction between the Napoleon Dynamite actor and Director.'

These articles would be published by the paparazzi. As long as it could help the movie to attract attention, then everything was fine.

Kazir was already informed about the questions that might be asked.

'Of course, I don't have any problem with Ed Helms. He is a hard-working person. This is nothing but publicity.'

Publicity was the main factor in having a successful movie. So film companies would invest so much money just to advertise their movies. As long as the movie was worth it, companies would invest in publicity.

The best example might be the last year's Batman Forever... The overall publicity cost of the movie was $100 million.

With the $100 million production cost plus $100 million publicity... The movie was a clear disappointment.

'However, I heard that the videotapes are selling well. Many kids are dreaming to become like Superman or Batman.'

With the invention of VCR and VHS player, the Hollywood industry gained power and their profits every year were astronomical. So Warner Bros decided to make another Batman movie next two years.

'Batman and Robin... That's right, the infamous Batman suit with nipples.'

Many people said that Batman's suit was ugly because of the nipples, which was right to be honest.

Clearly one of the reasons why Warner Bros kept the Batman series hidden for almost ten years.

'If not for Christopher Nolan, Batman might be forever stayed in their film libraries.'

The press conference ended and the reporters dispersed.

Kazir and the crew started their shooting.

"Scene 36: The Elevator. Lights, Camera, Action."

The one who was holding the clapperboard was Fremont Smith.

-------

With the four actors inside the elevator(three adult men and a baby), the camera started rolling.

"... Why can't we remember a Goddamn thing last night."

Stu(Ed Helms) said while putting a towel on his mouth. He was confused about why he was missing a tooth.

"Because, obviously we had a great fucking time."

Phil(Bradley Cooper) replied, leaning against the wall.

"Why don't you stop worrying for just one minute?" Phil slightly raised his voice.

"I don't Phil, maybe because I'm missing a tooth. Or maybe, it's because we have a tiger in our hotel room. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I know! Maybe because we found a baby in our room! A human baby! That's it. That's it. It's because we found a fucking baby!"

"I don't think you should curse around the child."

Alan(Jack Black) faced Stu. Alan was wearing a baby carrier and the child was on his chest.

"Really? I don't think you should be around a child."

The elevator opened.

------

"Cut! Ten minutes rest. Let's reshoot this scene. Jane, call your team and retouched their makeup."

"Okay."

Kazir could say that the first scene was good.

"How's the baby?"

"He's cute... Although I felt like he peed on me."

Jack Black bitterly smiled as he sat down. That's right, the baby that he was holding was a real baby.

For a close-up scene, it was impossible to use a prop(fake baby).

"I'm sorry about that."

The mother apologized and held her child. She was a friend of Producer Enrico Pusi. They audition after hearing that the crew needed a baby.

"Hush, hush, baby~"

"Hehe~"

Because of the giggling of the baby, the atmosphere was calming.

"Ed, I want you to deliver your line in a more exhausted way in the first half. Although you still have to raise your voice at the latter."

Kazir approached Ed Helms who was currently receiving a makeup.

"I understand Director."

Ever since they cooperated in Napoleon Dynamite, Ed Helms realized that Kazir took importance in line deliveries. The dialogues should be taken seriously.

Then, Kazir nodded at Bradley Cooper.

"Keep yourself in good condition."

"Thank you, Director."

In the crew, Bradley Cooper and Jack Black were part of the newcomers. They didn't have any idea of how Kazir used his position.

Was he a tyrant? A pacifist? Or a silent madman?

Because Jack Black and Bradley Cooper were the protagonists, they didn't want to cause trouble on the set. So they were doing their job well.

Once the ten minute break was over, Kazir started the shooting again.

Unfortunately, a few seconds after the camera began rolling, the baby started crying and everyone was caught off guard.

"Cut..."

Kazir sighed. He already expected this.

He knew this was going to happen, so he decided to shoot all of the scenes in which the child was part of within three days.

"... Ten minutes rest."

He muttered after the first NG.

It was impossible to talk to a baby. Perhaps the only one who could do that was the mother.

[Author's Note: I'm at the funeral right now, I'll stay here for a week and my update schedule might be inconsistent. Still, I will update everyday.]