Legends: A Story of Lies [Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Big Bad Beetleborgs]

[EvaUnit01]

If I haven't said it before, Dr. Hillhurst is The Actual GOAT.

Easily one of my favorite characters in this fic to date along with Drew, Jo, and Vexor.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Been a while since this place has been active. Here's a capper chapter to bring it all together. Volume 9 is underway, had to do a bit of writing for 1899 arc and prepare for the story's scope to broaden, because things are about to get very complicated in Echo Creek.

= - = 8-EX = - =

|Resolution|​

Within the crypt hideout of the Magnavores, Barla emerged in a burst of black flame, walking up to Vexor as he read through the biography of Art Fortunes. Turning, he lowered the book and gestured to her with his unoccupied hand in a palm up, polite greeting.

"Dragonslayer Barla, it is good to see you returned alive; I sensed tremendous power during your battle, to the point it interfered with my scrying."

Barla nodded. "The battle was intense, more than I was told to expect."

Vexor found that curious. "Oh?"

"I've been told that these were children playing games, that when faced with a strong opponent, their resolve would shatter, and they would be exposed as the naïve fools Jara claimed they were."

Vexor detected how Barla's tone dipped and how she spat out Jara's name, when they had been so close at their reunion. However, he focused on Barla's observation. "I see."

"When we fought, however, they held their ground. No, when they saw the difference between us, they only attacked with greater intensity, determined to keep hitting me until something broke." She stopped and shook her head. "Even after all their efforts to harm me failed and I told them to surrender, they did not care and offered to continue fighting."

Barla looked at her scuffed and scorched armored gauntlets. "That is not the mindset of children pretending, that is a warrior's commitment to stand and fight, something that is supposed to be respected."

Vexor weighed on Barla's report. Despite the tremendous power he mentioned before… the battle was inconclusive. Indeed, Barla's armor bore the brunt of their ferocity. These were ominous signs regarding the success of this operation.

There was a greater concern, however. "Is everything well between you and Jara despite this error on her part?"

"No, and in the future, I will not associate with Jara directly. I will take orders from you, but not her. Nor will I join her on the battlefield unless otherwise commanded."

It was as Vexor worried. "What has brought this on?"

"Jara has demonstrated leadership, strategic, and combat ability not meeting the standards she had set out for her own Mercenary Army. For that, I have deemed her unfit as a warrior and leader and will disregard her as such."

A complication, and one that Vexor did not particularly care for. In less than half a day, the two mercenaries had gone from joyously reunited comrades to being on no speaking terms whatsoever. To say it could be a liability in future operations was an understatement. If their enemies learned of this discord, it would be a disaster.

He did not want to resort to this, but he had no choice.

"May I suggest, Barla," he began, "That you set aside this enmity towards Jara."

Barla did a double take. "Excuse me?"

"Since we arrived in this world, I have observed that Jara has not been herself in battle. Something has shaken her since our campaign started, and I fear that the death of Saberizer has deepened this trauma."

The Dragonslayer stared at Vexor in profound confusion, not expecting that explanation of Jara from him of all people. "… Ah… I see."

Vexor gestured to her. "In summoning you, it had been my hope that her morale would be boosted, and she would return to form. However, I see that has not happened."

He turned away from her, walking towards his sarcophagus. "Going forward, I suggest that the two of you discuss your differences in my presence, so that I may mediate and moderate your disagreement, and that you both may come to a resolution that does not interfere with or otherwise derail our campaign."

Reaching the end of the massive stone container, Vexor turned back to Barla and noted the strange look she was giving him. "Is something the matter?"

"No, it's not," Barla said. "As a matter of fact, what you've suggested is well-reasoned and sensible. I just wasn't expecting it from Vexor Gaohm."

"Oh?"

"From what I've understand, you're an insane egotist who thinks himself superior to both brothers of the Melzard Tribe and Bill Cipher."

Vexor chuckled. "That being true does not make me an insane egotist, Barla."

There it was. "How do you figure yourself superior to The Lord of Nightmares, The Abyssal King, and The One-Eyed Beast?"

Vexor gestured outward with both hands. "For all their power, the brothers of Melzard bicker like children, and that pointless, perpetual spat leaves them easy prey to the likes of Bill Cipher, who himself claimed to be all-powerful and brilliant in his insanity–but was little more than a trickster punching down upon lower beings. In every story I've heard of him, his undoings were against minds only slightly cleverer than the common ape."

"What you said about the Melzard isn't untrue," Barla admitted, "And honestly I've packed up enough of Bill's Henchmaniacs to see that in his absence they are more pitiful and non-threatening than he advertised them as."

She gestured to him. "Still, you'd never defeat any of them if you came to blows."

Vexor chuckled. "That goes without saying. However, through avoiding such blows, clarity of vision, and excellent fortune through the folly of our foes… I never have to."

He lifted his right hand aloft. "We are no longer prisoners of the perpetual entropic hell that is the Nightmare Realm. We can claim this reality for ourselves, and with time we can take any other reality we please while those fools we left behind burn in their prison."

With a sweep of his right arm, he gestured in the direction of Hillhurst. "Dealing with our enemies here is no different. Choosing how we engage them, disengaging as we see fit, manipulating the situation so we do not have to engage them. That is how the Magnavores will conquer this world, and then the stars, and then every corner of existence. That is why your assessment of them after this battle is so important and why resolving whatever conflict you have with Jara is even more so."

Barla was sold. More than convinced, she was impressed by Vexor. Of course he would have such an ego. Not only has his small group survived in the Nightmare Realm… they had gotten out.

"I see," she said softly, before she spoke louder. "Thank you, Vexor, for your criticism and advice. As… difficult as it is for me to bear it, I will speak to Jara and arrange that we settle things before you."

Vexor brought his hands together, grateful. "Ah, thank you, Barla. We can ill-afford any in-fighting. Fortunately, the next phases of our operation are in the hands of Typhus and Noxic, so you will have time to approach your friend."

Barla nodded. "Very well, I shall."

With that, Barla disappeared again in a jet of black flame. Alone in the crypt once more, Vexor folded his hands over his abdomen, as he began to pace around the sarcophagus, calculating a change to the strategy he set forth. One thing was for certain, he realized.

"I must be more hands on in my management of these four," he stated to himself.

@@@@@​

It was well after nine in the evening at the Diaz Household, and most everyone else had gone home after the hearty meal to celebrate Marco's safe return. Only Dipper stayed behind, sitting on the edge of Star's bed as Marco–extra tired from the long and climactic day–lay on the bed directly beside him.

Star was in her closet, moving things around inside the strangely large room looking for the Magic Instruction Book.

Dipper huffed in amusement, trying to distract himself from the fact he was sitting so close to him. "How hard can a giant book be to find?"

"You want to go in there and help her? Be my guest." Marco cast a dark look towards the closet, remembering the last time he was in there. "I'm not setting foot in that heap again without my own Beetleborg armor."

"That bad, huh? Sounds like Mabel's closet."

Marco sat up, concerned. "Wait, is having messy closets just a thing that girls do?"

Dipper shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think we can put Mabel or Star in the same category as other girls."

There was a loud rumble and thump, before Star let out a grunt in frustration. "Ugh, it was on my bed when we left earlier. Glossaryk, did you move the book in here?"

Almost immediately, a voice replied from under the bed. "Well, I'm not going to just let it sit around in the open. While I don't mind Janna having a look, that Jo girl has an evil glint in her eye."

Dipper and Marco both looked down at the floor just off the edge of the bed, as another, larger rumble filled the room. A large, dromaeosaurid dinosaur leaped out of the closet, Star perched upon its back and gripping its reins. She was dressed like she was auditioning for a spot in a Predator remake.

Both boys jumped back onto the bed, Dipper instinctively putting his arms out to shield Marco behind him, as Star leaped off the dinosaur and then slapped its flank.

"Go back inside, Sprinkles Refreshing," She commanded. With a loud coo, like a pigeon with the deepest possible voice, the dinosaur stalked back into the closet and the door shut behind it.

Star laid down on the floor to look under the bed, then reached under. "Well, then you can come out now…" She pulled back, the leather strap that bound the book gripped in her hand. "… Because we need to talk!"

She dragged the massive Magic Instruction Book out from under the bed like she was pulling a tire through a roadside drainage pipe to unclog it.

Emerging like said tire, the Magic Instruction book opened with a thud to reveal two pages: The first featuring snakes in varying shades of purple zigzagging across the page, and the second bearing a bleached white skull with glowing blue chains extending to the corners of the page–as though to lock the contents beyond it. And from the very center of the book itself, Sir Glossaryck of Terms emerged from a circle of blue light, floating with his legs folded beneath him and his arms tucked into the sleeves of his shirt in front of him.

Dipper's attention darted sharply from the locked page to Glossaryck, who was facing Star.

"Also, you didn't even offer me any food," he continued grieving over why he hid. "Maybe Glossaryck wanted some pizza and chicken wings, did it ever occur to you to ask?"

Staring back at him, Star slowly shook her head. "Not really, no."

Marco hit upon an idea, but kept it to himself, as Star pointed at Dipper. "But I did bring Dipper!"

Glossaryck turned around, the book's pages flipping towards the front and concealing the pages he emerged from, to face the indicated young man. "Oh, you… did?"

The little blue creature stopped and stared at the younger Pines Twin, an expression that a human could mistake for surprise appearing on his features before he floated up to and began circling around him as if examining a statue. "… Hmm…"

"Uhh… hi?" Dipper asked as he followed Glossaryck's path around him.

Glossaryck didn't respond, instead humming in interest as he came around in front of him. "… Curious."

He floated up to Dipper's face, and pushed up his curly bangs, revealing the Big Dipper-shaped birthmark on his forehead. "… Fascinating!"

Dipper's eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance. "Do you mind?"

Glossaryck pulled back and inserted his right hand into his left arm's sleeve. "You really are the Pine Tree; then Bill Cipher is truly dead."

"I hope so," Dipper said. "And don't call me 'Pine Tree' or 'The Pine Tree' or 'Conifer' or any nickname like that."

The strange creature nodded. "All right, Mason it is!"

"DIPPER," he corrected sharply.

Marco looked at Dipper. "Wait, your name's really Mason?"

"Do not call me that," Dipper said. "The only names I will answer to are Dipper or Tyrone."

Marco wasn't sure about that one. "I don't know if this is racist, but you do not look like a Tyrone to me."

"It is, and he doesn't," Glossaryck said.

This was getting off to a great start, said no one. In fact, everyone in the room with comprehensible minds thought the opposite as Star intervened. "Glossaryck! I said we needed to talk!"

"Right, of course," Glossaryck said. "But it's late, and I wasn't offered any pizza…"

Marco knew he'd go for it, and countered Glossaryck's childishness. "We have some leftovers, and it's still a bit above room temperature."

That changed Glossaryck's tune completely. "Do you, now? That's when it is the best for eating."

Dipper had to hand it to Marco as he continued bargaining with Glossaryck. "And you'll get all of it when you tell us everything we need to know without any riddles or cryptic wordplay."

"Yeah, no metaphors, either," Star said.

Glossaryck gave them all a disappointed look. "You're really taking the fun out of this."

"Well, it's the fate of the world," Star argued. "Maybe two!"

The tiny blue man's expression brightened at that. "Well, when you put it with such actual concern, how can I disagree? What would you like to know?"

Dipper was the one who asked. "You've been around for a long time; did you know a Dr. Hillhurst?"

Glossaryck went unusually still as he hovered in the air–like a figurine locked in time and space where he floated. The only thing changing was his face, his eyes widening as old memories resurfaced behind his diamond-shaped pupils.

"Huh, that is a name I have not heard in a long time," he said with the interest of a wizened sage being reminded of an old life. "Dr. Aloysius Hillhurst?"

"Yeah."

Glossaryck appeared to understand, and his next words confirmed it. "His house is still there, isn't it? And you found something in it you need my help to open."

The three teens all shared surprised looks.

"Can you?" Star asked.

Glossaryck shook his head. "Nope."

Marco jumped on that. "Are you able to?"

"Nope," Glossaryck repeated.

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"Because it's not my place to, and as it's not my place, it is not something I can open," Glossaryck explained. "Magic is funny like that. What I can tell you, is that you've probably primed two of the locks… you just need the third key:"

He waved his hands like someone exaggerating a mystical artifact. "The Warden's Ring."

Now they had even more questions. "And what's that?"

Glossaryck made good on his promise of straight answers. "It's a ring of great magical power, bestowed once upon a time to a group of powerful warriors called–well–Wardens."

Star asked. "Like… Jail Warden?"

"Warden is a funny word with multiple meanings, but in this case, it means protector," Glossaryck explained. "The Wardens were once guardians of Magic, serving to protect all dimensions from The Forces of Evil."

"Like Mina Loveberry, the Solarian Warrior!" Star said excitedly.

Glossaryck's expression shifted to one of mild distaste at the mention of that name–if only for an instant–as he confirmed Star's suggestion. "Erm… yes, like her."

Something that made this little weirdo uncomfortable? Marco was curious. "Who's Mina?"

"Oh, just Mewni's greatest warrior. She's basically our Kim Possible," Star explained.

Marco stopped. "Why haven't we called on her?"

"Because she'd tell my Mom," Star explained, "And that would be that."

Glossaryck agreed. "There are other reasons to not want to deal with Mina, but we'll go with that as the most pertinent one."

Expecting more details later, Dipper stayed on topic. "So, what happened to the Wardens?"

"Most of them are gone now," Glossaryck said. "The Warden of this dimension is one of the last. If not the very last one."

"What happened to them?" Dipper asked.

"It varied. Some simply lost their lives in the line of duty, grew old and passed on, or fought in a big civil war to try to conquer the multiverse and wiped themselves out. What I know for certain is that there's hardly any left. The last Warden I knew was a friend of Dr. Hillhurst, who took it upon herself to be the protector of this dimension."

There sounded like a lot was going on back in Dr. Hillhurst's day. "How much do you know about what happened with Dr. Hillhurst?"

"Yeah, why is there a shrine that only reacts to Star and I?" Marco asked.

"Not a terribly great deal. I only met Dr. Hillhurst briefly," Glossaryck said as he looked from Marco to Star, "As your Great-Great Grandmother Celena did not rely on me as much as other bearers of the wand."

"Great-Great Grandma Celena came to Earth before?" Star asked, surprised.

Glossaryck nodded. "Of course. This dimension has a long history with Mewni. Celena visited here, your Grandfather on your mother's side is from here–"

"WAIT, WHAT?!" Star shouted.

"Your mother didn't tell you?" Glossaryck asked, before he realized the pointlessness of bothering. "Oh, who am I kidding? With how she foisted you on your father and Royal Guard and only steps in to discipline you, it's no wonder you barely know anything about her."

"My mother didn't…" Pausing, Star took a moment to reflect. "… Okay, yeah, she did do that. A lot."

Marco and Dipper shared awkward looks as the conversation took a turn despite their best efforts.

Star, prescient of this, valiantly stopped making this about her. "Anyway! You don't know why Great-Great Grandma came here, right? Did you find out… at all?"

Glossaryck shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly, it wasn't something she talked about at all, to anyone. Not that she talked about much of anything, there's a reason she's called Celena The Shy."

"So how do we find this Warden?" Marco asked. "If this all happened that long ago, then she's probably as long gone as Celena."

Glossaryck stroked his beard.. "That's true. Given how the Warden Ring survived through the ages into the last century, however, I don't doubt that she passed it on to a descendant."

"How do we find her descendants, then?"

The tiny creature chuckled. "Oh that one's easy: just look for the strongest person around dressed in pink, and you've found this world's Warden."

"Pink?" The three said in unison again, before Marco's eyes shot wide in recognition.

"… There's no way," he said suddenly, in awe and a little fear of the coincidences he's encountered today.

"Who…?" Dipper asked.

Marco looked at Glossaryck, then at Dipper and Star. "I think he's talking about SheZow."

A moment of silence passed, before Dipper asked. "… The same SheZow who got run out of her hometown on a rail and has not appeared since?"

Another moment of silence passed, before Marco palmed his face with both hands. "Of course…"

Star rested a hand on Marco's shoulder. "Don't worry, Marco! I'm sure we can find SheZow, and who knows… maybe we can get her to help us against the Magnavores!"

Dipper agreed. "She's right. After everything that happened to her, I think SheZow would love to have a comeback."

Surprisingly, Glossaryck was on the same page. "I wouldn't mind meeting a Warden after everything that was said and done with them."

"Then we have another thing to ask Elise about," Dipper said. "I feel like getting the armoire open will answer a lot of questions about Hillhurst Mansion, Flabber, and the monsters."

Glossaryck perked up. "Ooh, I'd like to meet them, too. You wouldn't mind introducing me some time, would you, Star?"

"Not at all," Star said.

"We'll probably need to bring the book over to the house anyway," Dipper said. "Something this useful should stay in the Beete Battle Base"

That was a good point. Before further plans could be made, there was a knock at the door. When all looked over, Angie opened it and peeked inside.

"Marco, Star, there's someone outside who wants to see you, one of your classmates," she revealed.

Marco turned to her. "Huh, which one?"

"Brittney," Angie revealed.

The three teens all looked at each other, and then at the time. What could Brittney Wong want at this time of night?

@@@@@​

With the help of the Dimensional Scissors, Drew and Jo stepped into the small backyard of their home, fenced off and out of view from their cul-de-sac neighbors in their almost identical and prefabricated clay shingle-roofed homes. Looking at one another, they nodded and crept around the side of the house and reached the open garage door containing their family's vehicles.

"There's no way Dad's not up," Jo said. "He's going to give you shit."

Drew shrugged his shoulders, as they went to the door leading to the kitchen. "I mean, yeah? School got cut early, and we've basically been no show all day. What else is he going to do but bitch at me?"

Jo couldn't help her snicker at Drew's harsh attitude. She was even more amused when Drew simply stepped into the kitchen rather than attempt a discreet entrance. He strode ahead of her, headed into the living room.

Mr. and Mrs. McCormick were both waiting, turning to look at Drew simultaneously as he came into the living room. Mr. McCormick, his expression droll and unimpressed as always at first, grew genuinely surprised when he saw his son's bandage-free and unblemished face. Mrs. McCormick, her own usually down-cast if not neutral look lit with genuine concern, moved to rise from her seat, but then stopped in confusion when she saw Drew's face and the general lack of concern in both her children.

"Andrew…?" She began, before Mr. McCormick raised his hand up off the armrest of his chair in a calm, halting gesture. Pausing, she quietly yielded to him as she retired back to her chair but stayed on the edge of it.

Drew and Jo's gazes lingered on her as they turned to their father, who did not bother to rise and was schooling his expression as he adjusted his glasses with two fingers. His gaze was locked on Drew, looking at him in the same way one would look at a crack they had just discovered in their car's windshield after an already bad day.

"Where have you two been? Why did you not come straight home after school?"

"We were hanging out with Roland," Drew said, before Jo could.

"At Zoom?" Mr. McCormick asked, sounding like he'd take that affirmative and then call Nano for the security tapes to be sure.

"No, we were practicing karate all day," Drew explained.

Sensei Brantley didn't have cameras in his dojo.

Mr. McCormick found that unusual. "Since when do you practice karate?"

Jo stepped in. "Since a couple weeks ago, Dad. We practice over at the Hill-Trank Plaza like three times a week."

Their father narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Aren't you two a little old for karate kicks?"

"You're never too old to start," Jo argued. "Plus, it's something for us to do beside read comics all day. That's something you've been on us about, right?"

On Drew about, but Jo was in something of a fighting mood and throwing some shit back in a hater's face.

Expressing his doubts, and wanting to focus on his son, Mr. McCormick let out a dismissive hum before gesturing at Drew's face. "What happened to your bruises, and the bandages?"

Bringing a hand to his cheek, Drew blinked owlishly before he shrugged his shoulders with the same dismissive energy. "Oh, I guess I got better."

"Better, huh?" Mr. McCormick scrutinized Drew's face before looking him up and down. "No… I think you lied about getting beaten up. To try to get sympathy to go to your dance."

Drew lowered his hand from his face. "Uh-huh, and since when could I expect sympathy from you?"

Silence fell on the McCormick household's living room following that. Mrs. McCormick drew back slightly, her eyes widening slightly with apprehension as Jo looked up at her brother, impressed.

Drew stared his Dad down, feeling the same intense defiance that he faced Barla with earlier. "Full disclosure, Dad. On Friday and Saturday I snuck out of this house under your nose to attend the homecoming game and to go to Karate, and I'm glad I did, because both times I ran into Brittney Wong–who showed more human decency to me than you have in my entire life and took me to get treated for all those injuries you scoffed at me having and still grounded me."

He slipped his left hand into his pocket and gestured with his raised right palm from side to side. "All so I could go to the dance, which I did while you were out playing charade date night with Mom."

Jo held up her phone, showing a picture of a selfie she took with Drew, Roland, Sabrina, Janna, Chantal, Megan, and Brittney. Drew had his arms over both Janna and Sabrina's shoulders as all three beamed at the camera, Roland was tipping his hat with his cane and smirking while a grinning Megan hugged his side. Chantal and Jo were making cute pouty faces at the camera, while Brittney simply had an expression of being too glamorous for any picture even with remains of pie on her face.

It was such a good picture, being completely ruined by the news of Dipper breaking the news at what happened at Hillhurst some few minutes later.

"See?" Jo said. "Drew even danced with a cheerleader, it was so much fun."

Mr. McCormick stared at the image on the phone, his face fixed but his eyes giving away his confusion. He looked up at his son, who folded his arms and quietly dared him to say something passive-aggressive.

He did not disappoint. "Even with the picture, I find it hard to believe that's you."

"Yeah, well… that's really always been your problem." Drew said, before he began counting on his fingers. "If I get hurt; it's my fault. If I stand up for myself, I'm wrong. I fail at something, I'm not good enough. But if anything happens to go my way? You cannot believe it, or that's not right–like in your eyes I'm supposed to be a loser who's not allowed to have anything."

Drew let his hands drop to his side. "I have a great idea, Dad. How about you keep your passive-aggressive mind games to yourself, because I'm not afraid of them–or you–anymore. Just listen to your shitty Eagles and pretend you're the most normal guy in the world who needs to bully his own son to feel like he's achieved anything in life."

With that, he turned and headed upstairs. "Oh, and Don Henley and Glenn Frey would call you a loser if they ever met you!"

Jo watched her brother go, then looked at her parents. Her mother was ashen, her normally tired eyes wide with shock as she covered her mouth with her fingers.

Mr. McCormick, however, just sat frozen, watching Drew ascend the stairs. Jo could see it in his eyes. The irrational contempt, the indignity of being told off by someone he looked down on like he was an insect.

She hated that look so much, and she still didn't understand why he was like this.

If she could do it, she'd just walk up and swing at his face.

With all of her might.

"… Jo, go to your room," Mr. McCormick said flatly. "Don't be like that loser."

No, he wasn't worth it and never would be.

"Sure thing, Dad," she said as she headed up the stairs. "And he's right, you know."

Rather than bother to hear anything he had to say in reply–he thankfully didn't–Jo walked over to Drew's room and tapped on it. "Hey, it's me."

A few locks turned before the door opened. Drew was sitting on his bed, looking at his phone as she stepped in and closed it behind her.

"So…" She began. "… When are we ending this relationship?"

Drew looked up at her. "Honestly? We can do it anytime, now. Trip and Van are gone, and after dealing with Barla, and Jara? Why am I afraid of that piece of shit?"

"I'm surprised you haven't force-choked him out, yet."

"He is not worth any of that."

"Oh good, we're on the same page."

Drew looked at Sabrina's message again. "Dad's just a bitter jackass who's made my entire life about being lesser than him. If there's anything worse than your personality being 'having money' it's building it around your own son being your sworn enemy for life."

"Some Manga Gendo Ikari bullshit, just without our Mom being a giant robot."

"Or you being a weird clone of her I have conflicted feelings about."

"Ew."

Both laughed at the absurdity of their lives being anything like Evangelion, before Jo gestured to her brother. "Say the word, and I'll drop the hammer. And by the hammer I mean Nano. Dad will be gone and we'll probably find out why he's even got it out for you."

"Honestly? At this point I don't even care about the why. I really just want him gone like the 'Hoffs."

"Bet!" Jo said brightly. "You don't even worry about it, then. Just focus on dealing with the bad bitches and bad bitches causing you problems and leave the rest to me."

Drew chuckled. "Yeah, thanks." He looked down at his phone again, at Sabrina's awkward yet eager text asking him out. "I'm probably going to be busy this week, so I'll be happy to have another pain in my neck gone by the end of it."

"So we can focus on the real aches, right?" Jo went to open the door. "By the way… Sabrina or Janna?"

"… Between them and Heather, I don't know," Drew admitted truthfully. "I don't really know how to deal with girls."

"Don't look at me, I don't know how to deal with girls either and I'm pretty sure I'm one," Jo said.

"Well, I've always liked Heather; with Sabrina… I dunno, I don't think I've ever hung out with a girl who just likes me, and Janna…"

She fascinated him, as much as she got on his nerves.

Drew smiled. "I don't get Janna."

"Cryptids I do understand. Of course you don't get Janna. I don't think even Star or Mabel get Janna. I think the only person who actually knows Janna's whole deal is Jackie, and maybe Marco, since I know she would mess with him, too."

Drew remembered his conversation with Janna about Jackie the other day. "I got that feeling they were close."

"Close? My brother before The One Above All, for a while I thought those two were dating." Rather than give Drew a chance to entertain that mental image, she quickly jogged his attention

"If you want my dogshit observational opinion?" She continued. "I think Janna is a ball-buster specifically to deflect anyone away from actually getting close to her emotionally."

Drew knew that was something Jo did, and he was pretty sure she came to that conclusion first because of that.

Jo then shrugged her shoulders. "That, or she's just a tryhard who wants people to think she's this macabre wannabe witch. You know, like how Marco tries too hard being a bad boy."

That sounded more reasonable. Janna didn't come off as someone who wasn't confident in herself or had a life at home she wanted to hide.

"I guess," Drew said, "But I still don't understand what she meant by being generous."

"What else could she mean?" Jo asked, almost incredulous.

"You tell me, you're the smart one."

"Academically speaking, yes, and my ability to break things down mechanically… but have you seen the social disaster I've been the last couple of weeks? I was about to turn this into a group project."

Drew winced. "Fair enough."

"Me being the hammer… erhm… ugh." She stopped and sighed. "I'm not going to use hammer puns anymore." She stopped and restarted. "Me being the blunt bitch that I am, I suggest you inquire to Janna directly. Not on the phone, face-to-face with her and don't let her misdirect or sly-talk you. Figure out where you two stand, and if she's really implying that she wants to make you into Blue Beet for real."

Obviously Jo was harkening back to her complaints about Blue Beet in the comics being basically a western-written harem protagonist, but Drew was a comics nerd, he had to make a deeper cut. "I hope not, Blue Beet did literally die and had to be brought back to life."

"That was a good storyline, though," Jo pointed out.

"Oh, the best Art Fortunes ever written, hands down. I'm just not too keen on the dying part because the resurrection half of it is probably not possible."

Jo wholeheartedly agreed with that. "Well, just leave keeping you alive to me and Roland. Good night, broseph."

Drew chuckled. "Picking up on Mabel's thing?"

"What? It's cute," Jo snapped back before she left his room and let it swing closed.

Looking at the door with a small smirk, Drew used his telekinesis to secure the locks before he lay back and held his phone above his face with both hands to look at the screen.

Sabrina said:
Hello Andrew! I hope this text message sees you well. I wanted to tell you again that I had a very good time at the dance and I hope you did too!
I was hoping that since we had so much fun, that you would like to hang out again. We could go see a movie, grab some food, or even take a walk down Santa Monica Pier! Or all three! Actually, all three sounds really good, it could be an entire afternoon and it'll be super fun!
I'm sorry I'm rambling, but I'm super nervous, I've never asked a boy out on my own before. And you're like the coolest boy I've ever met. So anyway text me back! Thank you for taking the time to read!

For now, he decided he'd hang out with Sabrina. She was nice, and it wasn't complicated or inscrutable like Heather or Janna.

Drew said:
Hey Sabrina. I've been thinking a lot about the dance, too, and it was nice to hang out with you. I don't know when I'll next be free, but how about on Saturday we take that walk to Santa Monica Pier? I've always wanted to go to the Aquarium over there and walk along the beach.

He hadn't even set his phone down after sending that message, when he got an abrupt reply.

Sabrina said:
OMG YES!!! Okay! I'm going to ask Brittney if Dudley can give us a ride there! I can't wait to see you again!!!

Drew rested his phone on his chest and looked up at the ceiling.

"… Can't wait to see me again?"

If someone had told him a month ago that a Cheerleader would ask him to a dance and then want to go on a date with him after, he'd have called that person an insane idiot and wondered who was playing a prank on him. Even now, he was having a hard time believing it was really happening.

He wasn't, however, going to say it didn't feel amazing.

@@@@@​

Star, Marco, and Dipper walked outside the Diaz home to find Brittney and Dudley standing outside of the former's G-Wagen. Brittney had her arms folded, like she'd been waiting for them to show up, while Dudley was standing straight, with an elegant and dignified air about him.

Marco almost didn't recognize the guy. "Wait, is that Dudley?"

"Good evening, Master Dipper, Master Marco, your Highness," he greeted. "Master Brittney would like to have a word with you."

It was Dudley, Marco was about to ask more about how he came to work for her, but Brittney derailed that with her inquiry. "So, I'm gonna cut to the chase: I think the McCormick kids and Roland are the Beetleborgs."

The three froze where they stood, surprised that she would just come out swinging with that. All three shared quick, wide-eyed looks.

Rather than take their reaction as validation, Brittney took the time to explain her reasoning. "Drew and Roland were in at the dance and Jo wasn't, but the Red Beetleborg showed up to fight that hammer idiot, and only after it was done, did Jo show up for the dance."

The three looked at each other again, then at Brittney.

"I also watched all the videos posted of the fight before that, over at the creek bridge. You guys were all gathered around and waiting for the Blue Beetleborg to come back from wherever he went… and when he got back, he seemed like he got roughed up. Then look who's going around like a freshly bruised mummy unwilling to explain how he got them besides 'I got roughed up by monsters?'"

The three looked at each other a third time, then at Brittney.

"I'm not here because I'm going to snitch or blow up your spot," she continued, "I'm here because I don't want any of my friends getting hurt because they don't know what they're getting into. And also, because I want to know how I can help."

Dipper… did not expect this. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," Brittney snapped back. "I'm not the two and three quarters bitches from before the dance. I want to move on to making sure me and mine are safe."

Marco looked at Star, but Star was now looking at Brittney with the biggest smile on her face. "Star, wait–"

Star turned to him. "No, no this is good. This is really good!"

She went over and took Brittney's hands, surprising her. "If we have Brittney on our side, that means we have effectively the power of THREE Princesses backing us up!"

"I don't know…" Marco was concerned about the number of people knowing getting bigger.

"Plus, Brittney has access to big tough dudes with guns and robots who can cover us!"

Brittney frowned. "Hold on, that Hench Co. thing was Daddy letting me use his account. I can't just do that."

Dipper asked. "But if you could do that, would you?"

Brittney nodded. "Pfft, duh! Of course! I'm already writing up a proposal to get them full-time as security for the school. I want to be able to graduate this year and not have classes be interrupted by monsters and supervillains."

Star turned right back to Dipper and Marco, both of whom still had suspicions. "I don't know…" Said the latter, "I mean, what brought this on?"

She sighed at her boyfriend's understandable reluctance, knowing he missed some context. "Marco, before you get weird about it? Brittney and I? We're cool."

She hugged Brittney for emphasis, and despite being unused to the affection–let alone it being from Star Butterfly–Brittney returned the hug.

"Like I said, the beef is squashed," the Queen Bee of the school declared. "And I want to help out because this involves me, I have a lot of money, and I want to invest in not being bothered by those Magnavore creeps."

That was shockingly pragmatic, not as shocking as Marco realizing that the end of conflict between Star and Brittney was actually real. "Okay, there is a lot flying at me tonight and I'm really tired from fighting monsters and not breaking a Karen's neck."

"Oh, me too!" Star pointed out. "I am about to crash."

Dipper, tired himself, nodded. "All right. We'll get you in touch with our representative then, and you can talk to her about how you can help us out. Just as long as you don't do stuff like you did last week and nearly get your face slapped off."

Brittney whipped her hair and sniffed arrogantly. "I would've taken his arm off if Miss Skullnick hadn't jumped in."

"Sure," Dipper and Marco said as one, while Star genuinely believed Brittney absolutely would've done it… somehow.

Satisfied with tonight's meeting, Brittney stepped back. "I'll leave you to get rest, then. I mean it when I say I want to help, and I'm willing to take orders on how to best do it so this nonsense will be over with sooner than later."

Marco had his doubts about such a commitment, but having people who could help honestly felt good. "All right, I believe you, and if Star and Dipper are cool with it then so am I."

"I am so cool with it!" Star said.

Dipper nodded. "Yeah, me too. Welcome to the coalition, I guess."

Brittney noted that none confirmed that the Beetleborgs were who she suspected, but she was fine with that. If they were okay with her helping them, she could wait a bit to find out for sure.

Still, she had one more question to ask before she got in her G-Wagen. "One more thing."

Star rejoined Marco's side. "What's up?"

Brittney pointed between the two of them. "Are you two dating?"

"Nope!" Both of them said in unison. Dipper was impressed at the speed they answered, even as he was reminded of this unfortunate turn of events for himself.

The young woman rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I get it; you don't want people knowing if you're mashing faces, but believe me? Everybody already thinks you are–StarFan13 ships you for Pete's sake. So, cough it up, I won't tell anyone if you are, and tell everyone that you aren't."

Sharing one more look, and with a consenting nod from Marco, Star answered her. "Okay, we've just started dating, and we're kind of too busy to be up front about it."

Marco nodded. "Yeah, let people think what they want to think, and otherwise mind their own business."

Brittney could respect that. "Okay, that's all I wanted to know."

Though, now she was curious about how Jackie Lynn Thomas factored into their whole dynamic. Her gaze lingering on Marco before she turned away, she decided it wasn't her business.

Dudley nodded and tipped his hat to the three teens, before letting Brittney into her car and going to the driver's seat. The G-Wagen then pulled a U-turn and drove off down the road to its destination in Upper Echo Creek.

"I'm… not used to Brittney talking directly to me and not throwing an insult in there somewhere," Marco admitted.

"If you want, you can imagine she was insulting you," Star suggested.

Marco laughed. "No, no… I'm going to roll with this one. Besides, after dealing with those cops? It's nice to know that there are people on our side who aren't just our friends and family."

Star smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"So, uh…" Dipper began, drawing their attention, as he rubbed the back of his neck. "… Before I leave, can I just say something, myself?"

"Sure, what's up?" Marco asked.

"You're not going to veto Brittney joining up, are you?" Star asked.

"No, not that… this is a personal thing, and I think I should get it off my chest and out of the way before we start getting into drama on top of fighting." Dipper said. "Back when we first met, I was… kinda into you?"

Star froze where she stood, and she looked from Dipper and back at Marco–whom Dipper was speaking to.

Oh no, he chooses now to just drop it on him? She thought in alarm.

Marco stared at Dipper, blinking slowly. "… Wh… huh?"

"And… I'm not saying this as a confession thing, or some vain hope that you'll be into me, too…" He stopped himself from trying to ramble on. "I'm just putting it out there so we're all on the same page and it doesn't get weird."

Marco processed that for a second. "… Ohh… You liked the Princess Marco look, right?"

Dipper nodded. "Well, yeah." Before Marco could reassure Dipper that he wasn't the first guy to be tripped up by his Princess form, he continued. "But I also liked what I saw after you changed back."

"Yeah, well you're not the–" Mouth open and hand raised for the aforementioned reassurance, Marco paused, and then his face colored slightly. "… Oh."

"Sorry, for springing this on you, man. I just wanted to get it out of the way, like I said…"

Marco held up his hands, his reassurance now stronger than ever. "What? Don't be sorry! I'm just surprised, I never thought a guy would just come out and say he liked me liked me."

Honestly it was both validating and relieving, especially after finding out that Trip had been into his feminine persona. Funny as that was. People with taste besides Star thought he was hot, and he could live with that. Enjoy it even.

Dipper was relieved that it didn't get weird, and he hoped it wouldn't get weird later. Between fighting the Magnavores and working with Star and the Magic Instruction Book, he had a feeling he'd be close to Star and Marco going forward a lot more.

"Anyway, I'm going to get home. You guys take care, all right? Don't stay up too late," he said.

"I wasn't kidding about wanting to crash," Marco promised. "Later, Dipper."

Star was likewise happy that nothing melted down or even came close to a runaway reaction. "I'll make sure Marco gets his beauty sleep! As long as you get yours, Dipper!"

Waving, Dipper headed up the street towards Shermie's home, and both Star and Marco turned towards their house.

"Dipper has a crush on me," Marco said.

"Yep," Star said.

He looked at her. "Did you know?"

"I'm pretty sure everyone else knows."

Marco stopped at the door. "How did I not notice?"

"A general combination of you being extremely focused on first Jackie Lynn Thomas and then me, combined with all the schooling, teaching, and fighting you do on top of being already awesome."

Marco laughed a moment after that. "And here I thought I was the PHD."

Star then placed her hands on his shoulders. "But Marco, the important thing is… how do you feel about this?"

How considerate of her to ask him. "I mean… Dipper's a tall handsome guy, but I have a girlfriend. That girlfriend is you."

Marco stopped. "Wait, are you looking at this like a yao–"

"Whoa! No! Nonononono–!" Star insisted. "Marco, I just don't want there to be drama. If Dipper likes you, he likes you! If you like Dipper, you like Dipper!"

Marco tried to get a word in edgewise, but then Star hit him with a curveball he didn't see coming. "Same with Jackie Lynn Thomas! If you like her, you like her! I won't mind because Dipper and Jackie are people I like, too! And I like seeing all the people I like hanging out and being happy with people I like! Which is you, who I like, a bunch!"

Immediately, Marco recalled the interaction from the night before, after Misao was rescued and everyone was discussing their shipping being wrecked on the awful rocks of reality. Specifically, he zeroed in on what Jackie had said that had been at the back of his mind since.

"… OT3?"

He had just said he was exhausted, but the implications of what he just learned were going to keep him up for at least half the night, now.

At least if he didn't confirm it. "… Star, I'm going to ask you this very slowly, and you are going to answer me slowly, so you have as much time to think about your answer as I do."

Star nodded, perceptibly slow. "Okay," she said, matching his verbal cadence.

He reached up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Are you saying, in all confidence, that it's okay if I want to date Jackie Lynn Thomas and/or Dipper, even while I'm dating you. Like… an open relationship or polyamory thing?"

Star answered, with powerful slowness. "I do not know what polyamory means, but I do know that I am okay with you dating Jackie Lynn Thomas and Dipper, and me… because I would like to date Jackie Lynn Thomas and Dipper and you, too."

Suddenly Marco looked around, like he was scanning for hidden enemies or the paparazzi about to ambush.

"What's wrong?" Star asked, with the same slowness.

"You don't have to do that anymore," Marco assured her. "I'm just making sure Janna's not hiding somewhere and this is a bit."

"It's not a bit, I swear," Star said. "I am down for the OT3.. or OT4, I mean… it's up to you what you want to do. Jackie and Mabel both say that communication and being on the same page is important in this kind of thing."

Marco thought he'd be able to sleep on this, but now he knew he definitely was not going to. "Are… are you sure?"

Star pulled Marco in and hugged him. "Of course I'm sure, Marco. The bad guys are getting stronger, there are other people messing with us, and all I want is for my friends to be happy. All my friends, and the guy I am totally in love with."

As Star continued, Marco slowly brought his arms up and returned the hug.

"If we're all fighting for each other as much as we are alongside each other, then nobody can beat us. Ever."

@@@@@​

Beneath a highway bridge crossing the Los Angeles river, just off a bike path that ran underneath it, TC sat on the edge of the river, beside the torn apart remains of a human body. In his right hand, he held a strip of skin and connected flesh, blood dripping from it, while in his free hand he held his phone, watching video of the battle at Britta's Tacos. He frowned when he happened to catch sight of himself incidentally fleeing during the fight captured by a news camera.

"Guess I'm not going back to Echo Creek anymore," he mused aloud. "For the best, Brittney didn't give off the vibe I was hoping for. Those Vanderhoff boys fell off the face of the Earth, too, so… no safe harbor."

He took a big bite out of the strip of flesh. "Maybe there's somewhere in the Palisades I can chill. I can't be sneaking around like this anymore. I am too rich for this shit."

CLACK

Alarmed, TC turned and looked with wide eyes down the edge of the river. Gabe stood there, with his shirasaya held in front of him, driven so hard into the concrete shore that it was cracked and split beneath it. In the dark, he couldn't see his face, but the way his face gripped the shaft of the shirasaya in his right hand, while his left hand pulled the hilt of his sword out of the lacquered wooden sheath.

"Too rich?" Gabe greeted him calmly as he pulled the sword. "Ain't nobody too rich for an ass-beating, fuck nigga."

TC tossed aside his meal and stood up, blood dripping from his hand as he closed his phone screen and put it away. "How the fuck did you find me?"

"I'm more embarrassed that I didn't find you sooner," Gabe admitted.

Drawing his sword fully, he held it out at his side as he walked towards TC, using the sheath like a walking stick. "You really out here killing people in broad daylight, and tryna hide out in Echo Creek. Not only is you sloppy, you're dumb, too."

TC narrowed his eyes, practically bristling at the remark. "Can't fault a nigga for being hungry."

"You ain't allowed to say that shit," Gabe shot back. "Now turn the fuck up or get cut the fuck up–I don't mind either way."

Baring his teeth, TC lowered his posture as his violet eyes took on an unearthly glow. "Oh, my pass is revoked, too? Guess I'm switchin' to the hard R, then. I don't need to be smart or clean, Goblin. I got luck on my side, and I know I'm stronger than you."

Gabe stopped, and his neutral expression finally shifted into an unamused scowl. "Nah, you ain't getting away this time."

With that he shot towards TC at high speed, pulling back his sword to swing down, as the hoodie-wearing young man's lips split into a blood-thirsty grin, and he leaped at him in turn.

= - = 8-EX = - =​

Legends: A Story of Lies Volume 9 will be here in the Spring... I hope.

 

[Delta/Soul]

Damn, that ending is foreboding. So TC is a Creature of the Night, like a Vampire or something else?

Also good to see the Heroes are getting more help and resources against the Magnavores.

 

[EvaUnit01]

TC is definitely... let's say, A Problem.

 

[The Ero-Sennin]

Damn, that ending is foreboding. So TC is a Creature of the Night, like a Vampire or something else?

Also good to see the Heroes are getting more help and resources against the Magnavores.

Click to shrink...

TC is something that our heroes and even our villains aren't quite ready for...

 

[Delta/Soul]

So… Marco and Star are going for a polycule that includes Dipper and Jackie (so far). And Drew is facing his own relationship issues with whom to date involving Sabrina and Heather. Let's see how this plays out.