For those who may not have seen it on SB, here it is.
[X]Scientific Responsibility
Damn it. What kind of twisted joke is this?! You can't use the Void, so why does it follow you?
You scream. And soon after regret it. Hearing yourself scream in a voice that isn't yours is an experience you are not used to. THIS is the most prevalent means of TRAVEL? How does ANYBODY adapt to this?
You don't remember sinking to your knees, or how long you just sat there weeping, only that when you regained your senses your body was hugging you, trying to calm you down alongside Anne as your tears begin to slow and you finally begin to regain your composure, wiping at your eyes in a futile attempt to hide the tears as you finally register Erika speaking to you in your voice.
"Louise? Louise-Chan? Talk to me Louise, come on. Whatever this is, we can figure it out." You try to speak but can only make a choked sob as you continue wiping at your eyes. Damnable tears! Why won't you stop! Argh! It was starting all over again! Pesky microgravity! They're all so close to your eye. You can barely see under these conditions.
You sob for a moment longer before finally recovering with a long, shuddering breath as you lift you head to stare into your own borrowed eyes in a face set with concern as Erika speaks in your voice, "Louise? Come on honey, what's wrong?"
And Founder help you, in spite of your issues speaking right now, you never hated someone so much as when you saw that gout of flame, and never felt such loathing for your own birth body. And how much that shames you to feel that way for someone who has only shown kindness to you.
What's wrong? What's wrong! You can certainly tell her what's wrong as sixteen years of hate and vitriol first find purchase and then release as you just let it out. A PMed rant to the entire room, filled with all the bile you've held down under the steel shell against Eleanor, your mother, your father, the students in the Academy, the teachers, everything that you've been forced to suffer spilling out before you finally choke out the last piece, the last straw.
You feel like you're going to start crying again when you feel the hug tighten as Erika speaks in your voice.
"Louise. You know you could have just talked to us if you wanted to. Even if we weren't there. The mesh is beautiful like that. Nobody's ever truly alone. Even if they don't have the exact same experience, somebody, somewhere, understands."
"I may have had theories, but I never realized it was this bad until now. You could have talked to me. Part of a muse's programming is to help people deal with things like this." Anne comments in your ear.
Erika breaks the hug and takes your hand, pulling you to your feet, "We can stop here for now. You should go wash your face, get your composure back." She's still smiling, after all that you said, she's still smiling. You nod numbly and stumble in the blurred direction Anne indicates on your HUD.
You just manage to catch Erika's reply to something Aldrick asks.
"...can sympathise with her. I've had it just as hard as she did. If not worse."
You find the bathroom easily enough and in micro-gravity, the sink is more a directed jet going into a recess in the wall to drain away, but you manage to get the hang of it in order to splash some cold water on your face and take some deep breaths before using the vacuum to clean up the stray droplets.
"I shouldn't have broken down like that." You mutter as you splash your face again, "A Valliere must be as steel, they cannot break."
"And yet steel shall break as well, if you put too much pressure on it." Anne states next to you,
"You cannot hope to withstand all that pressure within you if you don't find release Louise. Not even Transhumans are immune to such things."
"But it's shameful! Mother...Mother's motto is Rule of Steel! It demands self-discipline!" You retort as Anne shakes her head.
"Even a disciplined soldier finds the means to relax and unwind. Iron Breaks. Steel Bends."
You don't have an answer to what your Familiar is saying. Because deep down you know she's right as you think your response to her,
"What are our options? Erika knows that our magic isn't the same as what she just made my body do. If she put my mind back into my body, I would just make more explosions and that's going to get her curious about the truth."
"If we revealed ourselves too soon Louise, it could have consequences. Especially if it leads into discussion of familiars. Or the creation of AGI's with questionable sapience levels. I don't think I could cause the intelligence explosion loop needed to bring a TITAN into being. Especially not on Mesh Implants. But there's no way of proving it to them without invasive code scans. Or digitally dissecting copies of me. Would they even settle for copies? Outright lying will only make things difficult as well though."
"Half-truths then..." You muse,
"Give them a theory, nothing more, they'll have us prove it and while I doubt Familiars will come up due to their...insistence on self-determination and personal freedom, we should be prepared for that as well."
"This summoning ritual that brought you here, will that become an issue alongside the binding of a familiar?" Anne asks as you fix up your hair and check to make sure the redness has faded from your eyes.
"No. It shouldn't. The information will have to be provided for research sake, but everything I know about a familiar summoning indicates that the familiar is molded by the magic into a suitable mindset for the summoner. For you this merely means a few additions and upgrades to your programming. For an animal it means being able to understand the summoner. For a person..."
"I would assume it means completely changing their state of mind into a more subservient form. It's inefficient, and goes against everything anarchists and autonomists stand for." Anne finishes for you.
You nod,
"Indeed. Only Founder Brimir is recorded in history as ever summoning a human familiar, but with that line being so blurred here, anything is possible." You turn and move to exit the room,
"For now, it is not information that will be volunteered. Not now anyway." Anne nods in agreement as you exit and put a weak smile on your face, "I'm sorry about that. A noble's daughter shouldn't have made such a spectacle about this sort of thing."
"I discussed a theory with those gatecrashers in Quarantine, that I was a Void Mage."
"The lost element you mentioned last week?" Erika asks as you nod to confirm her question.
"It is said that the Void rules over and binds all other elements, and it seems to have been proven true today. It is my theory and belief that I somehow inherited the Void Element from Brimir, which then overrode my access to my natural Fire affinity. If I hadn't resleeved, I probably would have only considered this option in desperation. But it fits, the lack of elemental component to my explosions is indicative of the Void element, as is the lack of progress I've made in my life. Now that I know however, I might be able to access it through some experimentation."
"Hmm, interesting." Erika remarks as she moves to the range, considering the ruined target, "Definitely something to experiment with in the future. But right now the real question is; do we go public with the genetic data and see what the scientific community at large makes of this? Where do we go from here?"
"If I had to think of one path." Aldrick speaks up from where he's leaning against the wall, "I think we should continue with the testing. We should learn more, and not go public until we can figure out the mechanism behind affinities, and be able to create morphs with any. For all we know, fire magic could be just as ego linked as void magic. Let's stick to something resembling our original goal."
"Ah, you're right Aldrick-kun!" Erika clicks her tongue happily, "In the end this is the route with the biggest payout, and being able to say that this was an anarchist achievement will really help us out politically. Plus, anything that makes Louise less of a target will only help her in the long run!"
You smile, "I would like to see more of the Outer System..." You murmur as Lihua steps forward.
"While I admire the enthusiasm, I fear I must act as the devil's advocate and state that it might best to slow down, if not stop entirely. Going public. Now!? Something like this has no business going public." At the expression on Erika's face, Lihua continues, "Am I the only person who considered the implications of giving entire space station populations the ability to make fireballs and explosions on a whim!"
"But Lihua!" Erika replies, shuffling a foot on the ground, "We've got to continue the experiments! This is a big change yes, but its a change that will prove to everyone that there are still things that can't be explained, that Transhumanity should keep pushing and exploring, that there are still mysteries that if solved can make our society and lives better, without the shadow of the TITANs over us! Think about it. If the TITANs came back now, do you really think we'd survive? Magic could give us the edge we need. Even if we need to establish more gate colonies, who's to say we can't protect spacegoing habitats with magic just as easily."
Your mind flashes to the enchantments on the walls of the academy. You have only the vaguest notion of how they do what they do.
"And if the TITANs get ahold of magic?" Lihua asks.
"Who's to say they don't already have that?" Aldrick asks. "Something like this, its something that the hypercorps, the Jovians, no-one will be able to take away from us. I think we should go through with the experiments at the same pace, it's slow enough that we can stop at any time."
Lihua pauses for a long moment, the sculpted face of her synthmorph staring at you with unnerving intensity, "It all comes down to you doesn't it?" Aldrick and Erika noticed and they shifted slightly. Your own hand drifts to where your Light Pistol is holstered, taken off your body while Erika has her Medium Pistol already unholstered as she stares at Lihua.
"What do you mean Lihua? What are you talking about?"
Lihua glances at Erika in your body, "I'm saying, that if something happened in here, if something happened to your stacks and bodies, in a lab full of experimental weaponry...then I could probably kill myself and reinstatiate from backup long before anyone else gets here or investigates."
"I'm sorry, but I can't let this go any further." Lihua declares
"You're like them aren't you. Who are you working for? Oversight? Stellar Intelligence?" Aldrick asks Lihua, bringing his Assault Rifle to bear a fraction of a second before her weapon is pointed at him, and Aldrick did it with a level of agility and deftness you never would have thought humanly possible.
Like Erika said, your case is what conspiracies and singularities are made of.
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