Earth-Dispatch
Arrival: D Plus 5
Captain America sat stiffly on his chair at the end of the conference room table nearest the door, rigidly masking his… concern… over the gathering he was now a part of.
Chase warned me the rest of the Z-Team were ex-supervillains who were trying to overcome their criminal pasts via public service, but I'd been expecting people a little more like Natasha and a lot less… this.
His eyes flickered from the arrogant and bullying living flamethrower Flambae to the coldly disturbing winged ex-assassin Coupe to the erratic and twitching (and more than a bit frighteniug in appearance) man-bat-monster Sonar to… well, there really wasn't anyone here who seemed
repentant. The attitudes in the room ranged from insolent arrogance to outright apathy to a couple of people who seemed on the verge of a neurotic episode of some kind. Perhaps the only reasonably cheerful and relaxed people in the room were the diminutive strongman Punch Up and the 'demon sorceress' Malevola, who despite her warm and perfectly reasonable demeantor was someone that Steve willingly admitted to himself he'd deliberately picked a seat on the opposite end of the table from because, well,
demon. And he still wasn't sure exactly what that meant here, but once you'd fought alongside the son of Odin you kept in mind that that just sometimes, an alleged mythological being might actually be as mythical as they claimed to be.
And then there was Golem, who was some type of mud robot or construct, and… well, JARVIS had been a perfectly reasonable artificial intelligence who Steve was fine with, but that's because Steve had gotten to know him and also knew and trusted the man who'd programmed him. Hopefully Golem would become at least one of those things later on, but for now…?
"Someone's
cutting again." Flambae drawled nastily. "Maybe we should tell teacher."
"Fuck
you." a strange young woman's voice startled Steve slightly, as the young woman herself flickered into visibility on a nearby chair. "That's like the twentieth time you didn't put together 'empty chair in the room still has a divot in the cushion' with 'hey, one of my teammates is called
Invisigal." the lithe short-haired brunette woman rolled her eyes. "Because she, y'know,
turns invisible?" she drawled sarcastically.
"Girl, he waited almost twice as long as last time!" the brilliantly-dressed woman who'd been introduced to him as 'Prism' rolled her eyes. "How the
fuck did you hold your breath that long? Your little bitch lungs are weaker than Waterboy's pick-up lines!"
Invisigal snorted derisively and answered Prism's sally with an upraised middle finger, not even bothering to look at her.
"Hey, team." a calm, slightly tired-sounding male voice sounded in everyone's headset.
"This is your dispatcher, Robert Robertson. I'm starting my first shift-"
Every single person in the room save one burst out in laughter.
"Tell me that's not your real na-" Prism began to gasp out.
"GOOD morning, sir." the Captain 'politely' greeted their new supervisor back, even if the first word had been almost bellowed at the top of his lungs to startle the room into silence. "May I ask what's our first assignment?"
"It's a subscriber assistance call." Robert replied quickly but firmly, as he rapidly seized the life-line that Steve had just tossed him.
"Non-combat, but requiring some decent mobility. Should only need one hero…" Their dispatcher paused for a moment before deciding. "
Captain, this one's yours. Coordinates and precis are in your commlink, tap my individual channel if you need more details. Everybody else stay on team chat, we have some more things to cover."
"On my way." Cap acknowledged, and with a polite if stiff nod to everybody else he left the room.
"… who the hell was that?" Invisigal looked at the others confusedly, to a chorus of shrugs.
* * * * *
"A child lost their balloon in a tree? Really?" Steve sighed into his headset as he drove back from his 'subscriber assistance call'.
"Tell me about it." Robert agreed wearily.
"Obviously the non-emergency calls are pushed right off the bottom of the assignment board the instant any of the 911 calls comes in, but apparently this bread-and-butter work is the sort of thing the paid subscribers are paying for. Look, it's my first day here too, and I agree this is not what either of us probably picture when we think of 'superheroing'."
"Well, I asked for something simple to start with, I suppose I can't complain that I got my wish." Steve manfully tried to make the best of it.
"Still, thanks for the bail-out this morning." Robert agreed.
"I shouldn't have needed it, but I'm glad you gave it."
"Why didn't they introduce you to us in person?" Steve wondered. "Obviously this isn't the Army, but people still only respond to leadership if they actually see their leader as more than a faceless, distant voice lurking in an office."
"That's what I
said, but I don't write their procedures manual." Robert agreed.
"Anyway, at least we're getting one assignment done this shift without a client complaint… which is apparently one more than average, as depressing as that sounds. I'll try and give you something more heroic next time, assuming we get any calls for it."
"Boring is fine." Steve reassured his harried-sounding new supervisor. "We loved boring in the Army, it meant nobody was shooting at us."
"I can only imag- and, there's a bar fight at Crypto Night. Captain-" Robert.
"I didn't make myself very popular at Crypto Night last night." Steve admitted embarrassedly. "Might be better to send someone else."
"Seems to be a lot of that going around." Robert agreed amusedly. "
Okay, I'll send Punch Up. At least he knows a lot about barfights." A sudden beeping sound echoed in Cap's ears as Robert's headset mike picked it up at his end.
"And, 911! Museum robbery in progress, and you're closest."
"Acknowledged, ETA four minutes." Steve acknowledged crisply as he gunned the motorcycle he'd requisitioned from SDN's motor pool and started rapidly weaving through traffic.
The museum robbery was slightly difficult in that the malfunctioning security system was targeting the Captain as well as the robbers, but evading the simple motion sensors that the security system used was a relatively pedestrian task compared to the advanced defensive networks that some SHIELD missions had required him to infiltrate past. Steve was mildly surprised that the robbers were packing energy weapons instead of mundane firearms, but his shield easily dealt with the one or two blasts that he couldn't evade and the thieves were subdued with dispatch.
"Right, now comes the follow-up." Robert said. "
The cops ran a 'known associates' and cross-trace on one of the guys you caught and turned up a lead, so we know where the art theft ring's hideout is. And there's already an outstanding mission request to recover some stolen artwork that this particular gang had taken earlier. Thing is, these paintings are valuable
so going in fast and hard risks not only blowing the assignment but getting us sued for millions of dollars. How are you at stealth missions?"
"The recovery of the stolen property is the first priority? Not apprehending the thieves?" Steve asked disapprovingly.
"It's both, actually, but the one is slightly ahead of the other. Still, as you are correct this is technically two
taskings, I can assign a two-hero team to it... got it. I'm routing Invisigal to your location."
"Makes sense, she's the stealth expert." Cap agreed.
"Exactly. Good luck, Cap." Robert signed off.
Invisigal's own motorcycle soon pulled up alongside where Steve's was parked discreetly behind a building a block away from the art thieves' hideout. "Hey, nice taste in wheels for an old guy." she drawled sarcastically. "Everybody else without movement powers just checks out a boring sedan or something."
"I've always liked motorcycles." Cap replied cheerfully. "Good gas mileage, lets you get through tight traffic-" He noted the growing look of boredom on her face as he made polite conversation, and decided to yield to a temptation he didn't even fully understand. "-and if you're ever really stuck for a ranged attack option you can throw one a lot easier than you can throw a car." he finished with a perfectly straight face.
Invisigal snorted amusedly
, for just a moment shocked out of her usual breezy insolence, before she recovered. "So, sneak in and steal the stolen paintings back? Is this just a ploy for you to sit and chill while I do all the work?"
"It's make sure the paintings are out safe,
then apprehend the thieves." Cap nodded briskly. "I know what your powers are, but I'm not familiar with your skill set?"
"I stole shit for a
living, flag-man." Invisigal smirked confidently. "You name it, I've snuck up on it… and then went home with its wallet, smartphone, and underpants. What's
your experience?"
"US Army special operations, then… intelligence agency support." Cap did his best to describe SHIELD succinctly.
"Huh." She raised an eyebrow.
"Hold up." He cut her off as she sprang off the motorcycle seat, visibly ready to just charge in there. "You're the expert at the stealth phase so the entry plan is yours, but I'd like to know where the bad guys are and what the terrain is like before we actually kick off."
"Look, what I do is more of a 'wing it' type business than a 'synchronize our watches' type business." Invisigal stated. "So just let me do my thing and you do yours, and-"
"I have no idea where you are because I can't see you when you're invisible and we didn't tell each other what our plan was, and then I accidentally hit you while taking a shot at someone else." Steve interrupted firmly. "It's called friendly fire, and it's the least friendly thing you can do on a team."
"…
fine, we do it the
boring way." she sighed. "I'm gonna use that rooftop over there for a vantage point to scope out the sitch, try to keep up." She blinked out of visibility before Steve could reply, and he rolled his eyes briefly and then did a running parkour leap to kick directly off the alley wall and rebound right onto the opposing roof. A brief dash at what for him was a medium pace and which for most people would have been a desperate breakneck run put him at the vantage point, and Invisigal lost their impromptu race by three lengths as she flickered into visibility again behind him.
"… and they said white men couldn't jump." she tried to pass off nonchalantly, as they both knelt down and peered at the building across the street each through a pair of mini-binocs. "
Eugh, could we get any more 'generic seedy warehouse'? That's the kind of place where you can draw the floor plan with a single rectangle."
"Which actually makes it harder, as there's no single obvious best place to stash the paintings." Cap grumbled. "You're going to have to search the entire warehouse."
"And I can only stay invisible for as long as I hold my breath." She groused. "And from what I can see through that open loading dock door, the shit they've got scattered all over in there isn't piled high enough to let me hide behind it. So I
can't search the whole place because I've got nowhere to catch my breath… crap, so much for an easy win." she swore, before angrily turning towards Cap. "Hey, why are you
smiling?"
"Because I just thought of a way to get the thieves to
tell us where the paintings are,
and to bring them conveniently outside for us… but we're going to need to improvise a little." Cap turned to face her. "Come on, we need to find a hardware store."
"And then?" Invisigal asked curiously, by now completely lost as to where Captain America was going with this.
"And then…" he grinned down at her.
* * * * *
"Oh my
God that was the funniest shit ever!" Visi laughed until she coughed slightly, almost doubled entirely over as she leaned on her motorbike. "When that smoke bomb I snuck in there went off and then I dipped out and pulled the fire alarm on 'em, they couldn't throw the paintings into their van and peel out fast enough!"
"At which point they drove over the improvised tire strip I'd laid right outside the garage door they were parked inside of." Steve smiled. "Voila, one vanload of sitting ducks, and all it took was a few simple household chemicals, a two-by-four, and a box of long nails."
"Didn't even risk the paintings, because they had to get out of their van to even see us to fight." Visi grinned. "Damn, and here I thought you were going to be all yes-sir-no-sir stick up your ass to work with, but we just aced an assignment
and had fun doing it!" She exhaled satisfiedly. "What kind of military manual even gives you ideas like that? I thought they were just boring shit."
"I got it from Sherlock Holmes, actually." Cap smiled back at her.
"'A Scandal In Bohemia', the only story in the Doyle originals with Irene Adler." Courtney acknowledged.
"So what you're saying is, you understood that reference?" Cap joked back, and then their headsets interrupted.
"Jeez, guys, it's an assignment, not a date
." Robert's voice cut in amusedly on their headsets.
"And next time remember to turn your mikes off before having a moment. That having been said, aces job the both of you. Unfortunately the afternoon rush just started rushing harder, so I need you two to split up again and handle the next pair of calls-"
"Yeah, yeah." Visi groused as she boarded her motorcycle again. "See you around, soldier boy." she said insouciantly.
"You too, ma'am." Cap nodded, grinning.
"Ma'am?" Visi muttered incredulously to herself as she drove off, and Cap did likewise.
After the initial flurry of activity was dealt with the remainder of the shift was largely hurry-up-and-wait, with no more major calls for him. Cap was more than a bit disturbed by several overheard bits of message traffic on the teamchat that revealed that his fellow 'teammates' were having what could be charitably described as mixed success, and that Flambae had apparently been almost-caught
committing arson rather than combating it.
Soon enough Cap was sitting in a fast-food restaurant taking his late afternoon break, enjoying an extra-large cheeseburger and fries and pondering over his first day as it drew to a close. The work so far was the exact opposite of challenging, at least for him, but it had been strangely peaceful in its own way. The neighborhoods were clean, the people generally friendly, and even the cheesiest of the 'subscriber assistance' calls still had smiling children or grateful civilians, even if it felt more than a bit USO-like with how some of the calls just seemed like excuses to actually let regular people glimpse a 'superhero'.
He allowed his annoyed thoughts to drift away into a more pleasant recollection of the art theft case and it's amusing ending, as well as the feisty young lady he'd shared that amusement with-
The urgent beeping of his communicator startled Cap out of his reverie, as that particular tone meant 'Emergency Call'. "Captain America here."
"Cap, Invisigal went out on a donut store robbery and now it's turned into a major gunfight, complete with supervillain!" Robert said urgently. "
I'm trying to mission-control her through it, but it's- Visi, DUCK!" The feed cut out for a moment before returning
. "What's your ETA?"
Cap's SDN-issue motorcycle was already blasting through traffic at over 60 miles per hour with the emergency siren blaring. "Five minutes! What's her condition?"
"Just get there as fast as you can! Bad guy's ID is 'Lightningstruck', details should be in your feed! I'm switching to Visi's channel now!" Robert replied hurriedly and then the headset went dead.
Three minutes and forty-five seconds later Captain America's motorcycle screeched to a halt outside, and his mouth went dry as he saw the ambulance pulling up almost at the same time he did. If Robert had also summoned EMS, then-
"Shit!" Cap breathed out relievedly as he heard Visi swearing up a storm in the donut shop, "Fucking inbred brain-dead mother
fucker!" she vehemently stomped out of the store, looking like she'd just been dragged backwards through a barfight and with blood spattered all over her jacket and clothes. "They're in here!" she called out to the arriving paramedics, and then finally caught sight of Cap standing there as she stepped aside to allow them in the store.
"I really hope that's for the bad guy." Cap greeted her as the stretcher was wheeled in. "Are you all right?"
"It's for the shop owner." Visi fumed. "Stupid asshole tried to frag us both with the bad guy's dropped blaster cannon and only blew
himself up with it-" She angrily kicked the door frame. "I fucking
had the asshole, and then the civvie tries to shoot
me!" She stopped and caught her breath, then continued. "I'm fine, this is the other guy's blood."
"Friendly fire." Cap commiserated with her. "Like I said, it's just the worst."
"Well, there was also
that part where you didn't spot the bad guy laying in ambush, got yourself tagged when you closed in, ignored my orders
about-" Robert's voice sounded in their headsets.
"Shut up!" Visi screamed into her microphone. "Can I at least get back to base and wash dipshit's bloody nose off of me before you all get up my ass? And hey, if you were going to send Cap to back me up you couldn't have sent him a little
earlier?"
"Well, I-" Robert broke off frustratedly.
"It's just about end of shift, I'm closing down my board. No more calls today. Visi, get back to base and we'll discuss
what happened before you go home. Cap, you can clock out along with the rest."
"Shit." Visi slumped as she turned off her mike. "I was actually
not fucking it up for once, I finally got
one little win, but as soon as I have to fly solo again it's right back to-" Her voice turned low and soft. "You can go home, Cap. Thanks for trying, but I'll just… see you next shift, I suppose."
"If it's okay with you, I'd like it if you walked me through what happened first." Cap said as he escorted Visi out to where their bikes were parked. "I've been through more than one
awkward debriefing myself, and it sometimes helps if you phrase things in the language they understand."
"Captain Perfect? Getting ass-chewed?" Visi raised an eyebrow. "Pull the other one, it's got bells on. There's no way you disobeyed orders ever, not you."
"You honestly would not believe me if I told you." Cap replied with complete sincerity. "But for right now…?" he continued gently.
"
Fine." Visi pouted. "I rolled up on the donut shop and looked inside, and-" The next several minutes had Cap fighting not to show his shock several times, as Visi described what had to be one of the most elaborate comedies of errors he'd ever seen packed into barely five short minutes… and he'd been on a team with Tony Stark. "And that's how it all went to shit." She snorted. "You'd probably have breezed through this one in a minute flat with one arm tied behind your back."
Cap paused and thought intensely, trying to find a way to phrase as diplomatically as possible to his prideful and upset teammate that yes, she
had seriously dropped the ball here and he really
would have breezed through the situation she'd just described… before a thought occurred to him.
"I tested out of the combat and tactical training when I took my entrance evaluation, so I don't actually know what's in their training manuals." Cap realized. "Did they include a section about room-clearing or- okay, in plain English, did they actually
emphasize that even the most apparently peaceful trouble call shouldn't be called 'all clear' until you've checked all
adjacent spaces for intruders?"
"I… don't actually remember anything like that." Visi nodded. "Which probably doesn't mean anything because I wasn't the greatest study, but- no." She chewed her lip thoughtfully as a thought occurred to her. "And the training is scheduled by dispatchers, and Z-Team hasn't kept a dispatcher for longer than two days since we were formed. Probably why Blazer went as far as hiring special hardass Robert for us, because I know he was a special hire- shit, I wasn't supposed to talk about that." she hurriedly blurted. "Forget I said anything. Anyway, yeah, our training schedule is almost certainly messed up all to
shit given how nobody's stayed here along enough to even
make one, so even if we were supposed to get taught how to do that stuff we probably weren't."
"Okay then." Cap said reassuringly. "So yes, the first big crux point where it all started going wrong was when you relaxed and started picking out donuts instead of checking the back room because you assumed unconscious store owner and missing money meant the bad guy had already left.
But-" he raised his hand to pre-empt Visi's angry flare. "That's why I asked about your training, because you can't be fairly faulted for not following procedure you were never told about. So that one's a wash, and… honestly, outside of that one it sounds like you didn't do anything else wrong."
"Sure I didn't." Visi spat angrily. "That's why I'm sitting here covered in shame, bruises, and Thundercuck's fucking nosebleed and boogers. Because I got it all right."
"I didn't say a whole lot didn't
go wrong." Cap agreed. "But from what you described it wasn't
you, it was bad luck and having to start out already on the back foot. Him bleeding all over you in particular was a killer, because it meant you lost your greatest advantage against him – your invisibility."
"Yeah, if I get shit splashed on me while I'm already invisible for some reason it doesn't fade out with me like my clothes do, even if I go visible and fade out again." Visi nodded. "But then there's the whole Robert told me to disarm the one guy first, and I went for the other. He's gonna blame the
whole thing on that."
"And if he did, that would be 'squad leader in the sky' syndrome." Cap said disapprovingly. "So I really hope he doesn't."
"Squad up in the what where how now?" Visi asked.
"It means trying to micromanage troop movements from the safety of headquarters while you're mission-controlling them through the view from a drone or a recon plane or suchlike, instead of letting the commander on the ground make those decisions." Cap said. "Overwatch is highly useful, just of course, like the benefit we get from Robert looking through the security cameras and calling out targets and movements to us is. But in the Army at least, overwatch like that is suppose to be there to
give you more information, not to remotely micromanage. The senior man
on the spot – which in your case was you, as you were the
only one on the spot – has to make the split-second decisions in the middle of a firefight, nobody else. Grand strategy or overall guidance from HQ is something else, but this wasn't that."
"Pretty sure SDN policy doesn't agree with how the Army looks at it." Visi said ruefully. "So I'm automatically wrong."
Cap nodded heavily. "No, it probably doesn't agree. And I'm not even saying that your decision was necessarily right and Robert's was wrong. Because I can't know that for certain, I wasn't there to see. But I am saying that I personally think that
it should have been your decision to make, and not his. Because-" Cap stopped and reframed his thoughts. "Now that I think about it, what happened to you has some similarities to the last mission I was on before being dimensionally displaced here. You know, the one where the mad scientist's lab blowing up with me in it is
why I got sent here-"
"Hold up, dimensionally displaced?" Visi looked at him oddly.
"That hasn't gotten around the office yet?" Cap shrugged. "In brief; alternate timeline, dimensional castaway, Army experience was all on the other side of the wormhole. Moving on, that mission started out with me having to make a coin flip about which one of two approach routes we'd use. Either route had a chance of working,
but either one could also have ended disastrously, and there wasn't remotely enough information to calculate which one was
better odds. And we had to make a decision right then and there." Cap snorted derisively. "And then something else entirely went wrong after we were already stuck in, through circumstances entirely beyond our control, and that led directly to disaster. So I can
relate."
"Yeah, that sounds way fuckin' worse than just one shop owner needing an ER visit." Visi agreed. "Even if it used the same shit flowchart."
Cap slumped down, his voice lowering. "I don't even know if the rest of my squad made it outside the blast radius before it all blew. I do know that if they didn't then they're dead now. Nobody without my enhanced physique could possibly have survived the wormhole's tidal stresses."
"Damn." Visi looked at Cap, her face shocked. "That really sucks. Were they good guys?"
"I'd only been put in charge of the unit a couple months before that mission, so I hadn't really had a chance to get to know them deeply. Not outside of work. But they were all very good soldiers – brave, dedicated, tough. It was a good team, and I really hope they made it out."
"Must've been nice, having a team like that." Visi mused gently, before her communicator beeped urgently.
"Shit, I'm late." Visi muttered, standing up. "Well, time to go in and see how deep the shit I'm in is this time."
"I'll be waiting outside." Cap got up to follow her. "You can tell me how it went, and I'd just be wondering all night anyway if you waited until tomorrow to tell me."
* * * * *
"Didn't go well?" Captain America asked mildly as he stared down at the nondescript wiry brown-haired man who he was almost entirely certain was the Z-Team's dispatcher. The man in question was currently laying flat on his back on the break room floor, cradling his bloody nose.
"I ran into a door." Robert replied wearily – Cap easily recognizing his voice from all the radio calls earlier today – as Cap reached down to help him up.
"Looked like a particularly angry door." Cap replied evenly. "Is the door going to be reported to maintenance?" he continued in an entirely calm, flat voice.
"No." Robert shook his head as he wiped away the blood and stuffed some Kleenex up his nostrils. "She was entirely out of line… but by the end, so was I. I was the one in a more responsible position, I should never have lost my temper even if she'd already lost hers. So if I had her busted for punching me after what we were both throwing at each other, then I'd just be a chickenshit."
"I'm glad to hear that." Cap said much more warmly. "I'd better go and try to calm her down, assuming she's still on-campus."
"If she doesn't want to be found, you won't be finding her." Robert shook his head. "And you really don't have an opinion on what happened that you want to share with me? Because you clearly did with her. I very much doubt that 'squad leader in the sky' is a phrase Visi organically picked up from her own prior experiences."
"No." Cap shook his head. "I agreed to work here, so I agreed to submit myself to the chain of command. And the last thing anyone in a command position wants is some strange officer coming in and undermining their authority in front of their troops. Or backseat driving them with appeals to irrelevant authority."
"I was asking for your
advice, Captain." Robert cradled his head in his hands. "Blazer brought me in because what they were doing before wasn't working, but as I was just
vividly informed things aren't all going sunshine and puppies with me in charge either."
"From what I've picked up, the Z-Team's usual shifts have gone much worse than the one you just coordinated for us." Cap said. "So you're already making progress, and Rome wasn't built in a day… especially not with
these building blocks. Are there things I'd be doing differently if we each had the other's job? Of course, but there's no guarantee I'd be doing better."
"Please, Captain. You were like, a super Delta Force guy." Robert said. "And I just- well, what I used to do was not quite what you used to do, let's put it that way."
"Exactly. I was a military special operations commander." Cap agreed. "Which means that
all of my leadership experience was with troops who were already hand-picked for exceptional intelligence, aptitude, self-discipline, and motivation. Does that sound like the same situation you're facing?"
"Hah!" Robert laughed briefly. "No, not even remotely."
"So I'm not even sure my prior experience would apply usefully here. I'm not even sure if the rest of the team even
wants to try and improve themselves." Cap agreed. "Granted, I only met them for a few minutes and we really didn't talk. But they all seemed… very unmotivated."
"Umotivated. That's definitely a word for it. But you did seem to hit it off pretty good with Invisigal, though." he pondered. "Which makes you the very first person around here who has. She's consistently been the absolute bottom of the performance chart since the day she joined… which is weird, because she's the only one who volunteered to be here."
"I thought I was the only one on the Z-Team who wasn't…" Cap trailed off diplomatically.
"A supervillain trying to stay out of jail?" Robert nodded. "Yeah. But all the rest of them are
convicted supervillains – they got caught, they got busted, they took the Phoenix Program's plea deal to trade public service in return for not staying in the graybar hotel. Visi, on the other hand, might be a 'person of interest' in a whoooole lot of criminal cases but they never actually
caught her. A few months ago she just came in and applied for Phoenix entirely on her own. Her only condition was that she not be required to, uh, testify about any specific events in her past."
"Well, that one's called the Fifth Amendment." Cap said agreeably. "So we can't fault her for insisting on it. But you're right. If she's the one ex-villain who actually wants to be here, then why is her performance the lowest?"
"Really wish I knew." Robert sighed. "Ugh, I've got a meeting with Blazer and Chase in like five minutes. If you've got any input you think would help, feel free to come with. It's about time you met Blazer anyway."
"One thing comes to mind; you need to review the training the team was supposed to get and compare it to the training they actually
have gotten." Cap remembered. "Because given how chaotic the prior dispatcher situation was and how dispatchers are responsible for the training schedules, it's overwhelmingly likely that they're missing a lot. They can't be expected to do their jobs right if they've never been taught how."
"See, that's exactly the sort of thing I was hoping for." Robert nodded. "Got anything else?"
"I might or might not try to drop something in the suggestion box later, but not after only one day." Cap finally decided. "Until I learned more about what we're really working with here, I'd only be talking in ignorance."
"Well that's where I'm at right now, but
I've still got to take this meeting." Robert stood up and stretched. "Thanks for the talk, though, Cap. Helped clear my head a little."
"Any time." Cap nodded to him as he stepped out.
"You really mean all that bullshit you just spouted off about not wanting to tell anyone else how to do their job?" Visi's voice startled Cap slightly as she faded into visibility sitting on the break room counter.
"If I say it, I mean it." Cap replied equably, standing up and heading over to the counter. "You want some coffee?" he asked as he decanted himself a cup from the machine.
"Nah, it gives me the jitters." Visi held up one palm as if to ward off evil spirits. "Thanks for talking him out of narcing on me, though."
"That was a decision he'd already made on his own." Cap protested. "He's not actually out to get you, differences of opinion aside."
"Makes him a rarity, then." Visi muttered. "So, you're really not a secret corporate trainer brought in as a ringer or something? Everybody on the team who actually had an opinion thought you had to be."
"I haven't even met the team yet. Morning roll call doesn't count, I couldn't get out of there fast enough." Cap replied.
"You think there's maybe a reason why I stay invisible through as much of it as I can?" Visi said sardonically. "You not included, this whole outfit's nothing but a bunch of stupid assholes."
"Visi." Cap said commiseratingly. "You know I don't include you in that category either."
"So you
do think that about the rest?" she immediately shot back.
"I shouldn't talk badly about people behind their backs…" Cap sighed. "And for most of them I still won't."
"Oh, I've
gotta hear this." Visi leaned in interestedly, her crooked grin turning positively vulpine. "Who's on the star spangled shit list?"
"Flambae is a bully, and I'll say that to his face the next time he tries to get in anyone else's. I don't like bullies, no matter where they're from or what their powers are." Cap replied firmly.
"Yeah, well if you ever throw down with him then watch out for his powers that
aren't obvious. It's not just being a walking blowtorch, he's almost as strong as you and he can fly too." Visi replied immediately.
"Good to know." Cap replied. "Although I really shouldn't be getting in any fights with anyone here."
"Pity." Visi muttered.
"It occurs to me that we also talked about you behind your back, or at least we thought we were doing that." Cap said. "So if anything I said offended you, then I apologize."
"Apologize for
what?" Visi stared at him incredulously. "You're like the first person here that hasn't blamed me for every unsolved crime in the calendar."
"Do you want to talk about why you don't seem to have much luck getting off the bottom of the leaderboard?" Cap asked after a thoughtful pause.
"Fuck no." Visi glared at him furiously."And fuck you, I was starting to think maybe you were cool but nope, same old lectures as all the rest-"
"Visi, I was offering to
help." Cap said entreatingly. "Or more accurately, I was asking if you
wanted any help."
"Oh." she replied with dull surprise. "Well… no." She crossed her arms and glared at him suspiciously.
"All right." Cap nodded at her and stood up, slinging his shield. "Well, it's getting late and I won't keep you-"
"You're really not a secret trainer guy?" Visi asked plaintively, bringing Cap to a halt. "Because what you just offered is exactly what they'd do, and, cripes, I can't even remotely figure out how the hell a guy like you would be sent here for any
other reason. This is the ex-villain squad, the dumping ground for the losers and the freaks. Even if you fell out of the sky like the Wizard of Oz then your criminal record should be as blank as the rest of your record."
"Dorothy's house fell out of the sky, the Wizard got lost in a ballooning accident." Steve corrected her amusedly. "And since nothing on my resume is checkable, all of it having happened in an alternate universe and everything, then they had to assign me as if I had officially zero credit for anything and zero seniority. I mean, for all they knew I could be a crazy homeless guy with random superpowers and a severe case of Munchausen's syndrome. So I have to prove myself starting from the absolute bottom on up, just like everybody else here."
"Makes sense… but you're still doing evaluations on all of us." Visi replied flatly. "Robert even asked you for some, just now."
"Robert is taking advantage of any ethical opportunity he can scrounge to achieve his mission, which is exactly what a good leader should be doing in his position." Cap said agreeably. "And of course I have opinions. We're all going into combat with each other, and we all
should be trusting each other with our lives. So of course everybody's going to have a part of their brain constantly going '
Does that guy actually know what he's doing, or do I have to cover that flank myself?'"
"So be honest with me." Visi demanded. "Who on the team would be your first choice to work with, and who would be your last choice?"
"I'm not answering the one about 'last choice', because that would be talking behind peoples' backs again-" Cap began.
"Figures." Visi mumbled, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
"But my first choice would be you." Steve continued.
Visi's jaw fell open, her cigarette landing unregarded upon the floor. She immediately stormed over, her face red with rage, to slam one fist against Cap's chest. "Don't
fuck with me like that, you
asshole!" she screamed, her voice tearing.
"Visi, I mean it." Cap said with as much sincerity as he could muster. "We've already talked about how I can't even talk to some of the others without probably getting in a fight. The rest I- well, I just don't think it would work. But we've already worked together-"
"Doesn't prove anything. You could probably have done that one without me at all." Visi mumbled.
"You're not
incompetent, Visi, you're just a little
impulsive." Cap said reassuringly. "And I think you take too many solo assignments when your abilities are better set up for teamwork. From what I've seen today you seem to do fine until you either lose track on the target or something unplanned goes wrong... and then you get taken down because you don't have any defensive powers and being an invisible skirmisher working alone only succeeds as long as you don't use up your margin of error or your luck. But if we're working in duo then that's not a concern – I'm a brightly colored distraction
and a damage sponge, in addition to being a highly talented close-combatant, and that notably expands your opportunities."
Steve deliberately broke the tension by stopping to refill his coffee cup and continuing. "Some of the best tactical synergy I ever had back on my homeworld was with a woman just about your size and with a similar skill set. If the bad guys focused fire on me, they were wide open to being flanked or ambushed by her. If they were too focused on trying to find her sneaking around, then they were all set up like bowling pins for me. We
never failed a mission whenever they partnered us together. So no, I don't think the warehouse today was a fluke. And now that you've put the idea in my head I think it would be a very good idea if Robert sent us out as a mission duo as often as he could swing it. Do you want me to ask him about that tomorrow?"
"I- I-" Visi stammered, entirely nonplussed at what she'd just heard. "I'll think about it!" she finally stammered out, and then immediately vanished.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Invisigal." Cap smiled softly at the empty room she'd left behind.
"Uh, Cap?" her voice floated back down the corridor. "It's
Friday, remember?"
* * * * *
Author's Note: Yes, Cap's first reaction to the Z-Team in all its glory was to unass the room as soon as he politely could. Let's face it, he is not getting paid enough for that shit. *g*
Visi in canon thinks she did fine on the donut shop run (because it was actually notably less of a disaster than her usual performance, which just says so many sad things) and is shocked and angry when Robert rips a strip off her for it. This Visi was still angry at Robert's ass-chewing in this one, but she's much harder on herself about the donut run because this time she had a taste of
genuine mission success with Cap first, so of course she's more aware of how unsatisfactory the donut run actually was.
And poor Visi. She has never been told by anyone in her life that she'd be their first choice for anything, not even once. Of course she couldn't believe what she was hearing.