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On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

Reader mode
Well, I did it. It only took ten minutes of actual work to produce this evil. If something like this happens it's when Shirogane is recruiting for a post-school team of similarly intimidating frontrunners.

Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse

She rides across the nation
The icon of dismay
She got the application
That you sent her way

It needs evaluation
So let the race begin
A fall in mud, a show of force
A gate crash would be nice of course

Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse
She's Death

The Team of Murder Runners
Is watching so beware
The grade that you receive
Will be your last we swear

So make the Pale Horse cheerful
And she'll make you her mare.

You're saddled up
There's no recourse
It's Hi-Ho Silver
Signed, Pale Horse
 
Killdread said:
Well, I did it. It only took ten minutes of actual work to produce this evil. If something like this happens it's when Shirogane is recruiting for a post-school team of similarly intimidating frontrunners.

Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse

She rides across the nation
The icon of dismay
She got the application
That you sent her way

It needs evaluation
So let the race begin
A fall in mud, a show of force
A gate crash would be nice of course

Pale Horse
Pale Horse
Pale Horse
She's Death

The Team of Murder Runners
Is watching so beware
The grade that you receive
Will be your last we swear

So make the Pale Horse cheerful
And she'll make you her mare.

You're saddled up
There's no recourse
It's Hi-Ho Silver
Signed, Pale Horse
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Is this a reference to Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog perchance?

View: https://youtu.be/VNhhz1yYk2U?si=PX_6sfaMpdZtMSa8
 
Killdread said:
Well, I did it. It only took ten minutes of actual work to produce this evil. If something like this happens it's when Shirogane is recruiting for a post-school team of similarly intimidating frontrunners.
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The one gripe I have is that the first verse doesn't follow the expected rhyme scheme of AAABB, instead going AAXBB.
 
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Chronometry said:
The one gripe I have is that the first verse doesn't follow the expected rhyme scheme of AAABB, instead going AAXBB.
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The original goes ABAB ABCC, and I'd already done the work of changing the first 2Bs and didn't want to figure out an -ay ending for a start of things. And since it's lyrics being able to match the cadence matters more imo. Especially since the second verse already breaks the pattern with line three being split.

Keeping it to the same tune means sacrifices must be made, and my time wasn't one I was willing to make.
 
SEKALE said:
So, a hobbit? Let's hope no one calls her that.
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Gold Ship dressed as Gandalf and holding the sack stands in front of Shirogane and says now you are going on an adventure Bilbo.
Shirogane understands that reference and is very offended.
A moment later Gold Ship is on her butt choking and Shirogane is behind her, using the the sack as a improvised Garrote Wire
 
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Rock1244 said:
Gold Ship dressed as Gandalf and holding the sack stands in front of Shirogane and says now you are going on an adventure Bilbo.
Shirogane understands that reference and is very offended.
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It's been a decade since I read the books, but shouldn't being called "Bilbo" either be a compliment or a little tease towards someone's height? And Shirogane is not going to be anything more than mildly, at most, disgruntled about being called short.
 
ScarredPunLover said:
They responded before you made that edit

They were more referring to Shiro being "very offended", believing she'd, at worst, only be mildly offended
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No? I just didn't bother quoting the whole of it. Shirogane's a much calmer person than Tanya, and even then Tanya wouldn't do that to a civilian, and furthermore even with Gold Ship trying to "kidnap" her, the way she was doing so wouldn't have merited violence.

It'd be something else if Gold Ship had actually succeeded in kidnapping Shirogane, but she hadn't and had just "ordered" her to enter the sack while dressing herself up as Gandalf and calling Shirogane Bilbo.

Violent overreaction definitely.
 
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The Castle of Jutland said:
No? I just didn't bother quoting the whole of it. Shirogane's a much calmer person than Tanya, and even then Tanya wouldn't do that to a civilian, and furthermore even with Gold Ship trying to "kidnap" her, the way she was doing so wouldn't have merited violence.

It'd be something else if Gold Ship had actually succeeded in kidnapping Shirogane, but she hadn't and had just "ordered" her to enter the sack while dressing herself up as Gandalf and calling Shirogane Bilbo.

Violent overreaction definitely.
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It is Gold Ship however, so I'm not sure it's an unacceptable overreaction, as both the kidnapping and the choking sound about right for things that horse would do, and thus both acceptable things to do to her. :V

EDIT: For that matter I'm not sure Gold Ship wouldn't actually respect that reaction either, which would be fucking hilarious wouldn't it, this pint sized polish war-uma matching the energy and thus earning the friendship of the horse who's jockey prayed he'd only be sane before each race. 🤣
 
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