One Hell of a Party

[Legend of the Kyuubi]

Chapter Two: Revelations

Greyskull Keep was silent. The shrieks and screams that haunted its halls gone. The air, once cold and unforgiving chased away as warm returned - or as warm as could get given its state - and the once extinguished lamps found life once more and sent the darkness packing. And the source of it all, a lost elementian amoung a group exhausted and weakened individuals, a glowing sword in his hand that slowly began to dim until its light faded quickly faded away.

None spoke for moment as the reality sunk in and just as some wanted to demand answers, Naruto fell to a knee. Drained and tired, an occurence that didn't didn't happen that often. But only a few cared about that.

"Wat the fuck was that?"

"And what the fuck was with that verse? Talk about cringe," Scanlan added.

"Seriously, guys?" Keyleth couldn't believe Grog and Scanlan.

"They have a point, Keyleth. Don't get me wrong, glad those fucks are gone but what was that?"

"A sword of the Morninglord."

"A sword of who?"

"Morninglord. Lathander," spoke Jarett, "My grandmother once told me about him-"

"Can we table that for later and make sure he's alright?" Keyleth cut him off, "Pike?"

"Huh?"

"Help him!"

"Oh, right, yeah, sure," Pike nodded, approaching Naruto and concentrated.

Nothing happened.

"Pike?"

"Come on," Pike grunted, concentrating harder.

Still nothing.

"You alright, Pikey?" Grog asked his oldest friend.

"Shit. Nothing's happening," Pike was forced to admit, "Something's wrong. I can't feel the Everlight anymore."

"Maybe she's busy? Bathroom break or something?" Grog told her and several snorted.

"Is he serious?" the tiefling soldier asked her captain and Jarett could only give her an equally confused looked.

Pike ignored them all. Ever since her fight with the Briarwoods, Pike knew something had changed. Before she could feel her goddess' presence in the background: faint and subtle and warm. Now, she felt nothing. Not a tingle and all she felt was an empty cold.

"I'm okay, guys," Naruto told them, "A bit tired is all. I'm good, really."

Keyleth sighed in relief at the news.

"Right then, care to answer a few questions now?"

"Yeah, like what's up with the verse?

"You're still fixated on that?" Vex asked. Admittedly it was cringe worthy but still, "We all heard it."

"I'm trying to forget it," was Scanlan's response.

"It is cringe, but the only way Lathander's Light works," Naruto admitted. His sword give a brief lightless whir, "Hey, I'm not ungrateful! It's just, well, I mean, you heard it, right?"

"..."

"Yeah, thought so," Naruto took his sword's silence as confirmation.

"He's talking to his sword?" the tiefling looked at the group.

"Don't ask. We don't know how it works either."

"I do," Jarett spoke and all looked to him, "Swords of the Morninglord were said to be sentient."

"Really? How did you get a sword of Pelor?" Vex inquired.

"Not Pelor. Lathander. Similar but a different god altogether," Percy informed them, "Pelor's one of the Prime Deities, said to part of the Creators, the gods who breathed life on our planet. Lathander is an Outer God, one of rebirth and youth, I believe. I'll admit my knowledge about him, or any god not of the Prime Deities and Betrayers, is quite limited," while the library of the De Rolo family was vast but information related to gods who had a limited or non-existent role in Exandria had been lost since the Calamity era, and those who had a smidgen of information didn't exactly advertise it.

"What's an Outer God?" Grog asked, looking at Naruto.

Naruto shrugged, "Don't look at me. I never bothered asking. I just use this thing to stab and slice things."

The light from his sword shone brightly as though insulted.

"What? You know me! I'm not good at remembering that stuff!" he told the sentient weapon.

A few among them couldn't believe the admission.

"We'll come back to that later. To simplify, think of our world as a country with different rulers: good and bad. The Creators, our gods, found our world and helped shape it into what we know today before they split into two groups: The Prime Deities and the Betrayers. They are the rulers who work behind the scenes: known but rarely if ever seen by most. An Outer God, on the other hand, is like the ruler of a different country. They're gods that had no role in our world's creation. Gods who weren't part of the Creators yet still found our world and tried to gain influence, but knowledge of them is practically none existent because most never achieved the same level of renown or their influence is minimal and esoteric at best."

"Esoteric?" Naruto asked, not knowing the word.

"It means very selective few or barely a handful. My grandmother was a Lathanderite, and when my parents passed she taught me about him. Lathander was powerful and a friend of the Prime Deities, but I'll admit my knowledge isn't detailed either, I was more interested in swordplay. What I do remember is that weapons that have his mark or influence hold a great dislike for evil and undead, reflecting Lathander's own distaste for them," minimal as it was, Jarrett added what he knew.

"That's explains that," Naruto knew his sword hated evil beings and undead but not the why.

"So, it's valuable, huh. How much do you think we'd get for selling it?"

The sword began whirring so loudly it hurt their ears.

"No, I'm not gonna stab him! I said no! Quit aski-That's it. Back in the sheath with you!" Naruto had enough and silenced the angry weapon as it slide back in his scabbard, "Just so you know, it really doesn't like you now, Scanlan."

"I'll just serenade it," Scanlan waved it off but the sword popped out of the sheath and whirred some more before sheathing itself back inside, "Translation?"

"Shove your lute up your ass, you mediocre, hazbin of a bard. And that's the paraphrased version."

Vex snorted but smirked, "I'm liking this sword more and more. But, riveting as this is, what happens next? We can't stay here."

"Go."

"Captain?"

"Not like we're in any shape to stop them, Korna," Jarrett told his only remaining underling, "You swear you'll find whoever did this to my men and make them pay."

"You have my word," Percy could honestly say there was nothing more he'd love to see than the Briarwoods and their conspirators dead.

"Then give them hell. Be careful, though. The other divisions are still looking for you, elementian."

Poof!

"You were saying?" Naruto asked, now disguised as a gold scaled dragonborn with red eyes, "And the name's Naruto."

Jarrett and Korna were surprised by the revelation but quickly came to terms with it, "Be careful. And pray I can somehow explain this."

"Speak with Kima-oneechan and Allura-neechan," another poof later and Naruto was back to his original looks, "Should have no problems with them."

"Noted. Best you leave the city and quickly. If you're caught, I'm certain the Sovereign will have you thrown in the Bastille. And once you're in, the only way out is with a short drop and a sudden stop."

"Well, there's a lovely thought," sighed the elvish rogue, "First thing, where's our stuff?"

"In a chest outside. Anything else?"

Vex hesitated for a second before she nodded, "There is."

Moments later, after several from the group cleaned themselves up and collected their belongings, Vex approached her faithful companion with a sad look, "I'm sorry, Trinket. I'd love nothing more than to have you with us but you'll be safer here."

The bear chuffed and released a deep moaning-like sound, his tone mimicking his mistress. Formidable as he was, Trinket stood out like a sore thumb and was not exactly subtle. Vox Machina was on a time crunch and lacked the necessary items and skill to disguise the large brown bear, especially since they'd required provisions for the road ahead, and a form of transportation. Whitestone wasn't exactly close even by horse and with the Sovereign under Sylas' influence it wasn't like they could use Emon's skyship.

"Take care, Trinket" Vex told her friend before shooting Jarrett a look, "Take care of him."

"You have my word," Jarrett reassured the half-elf ranger, "Best you get moving, Vox Machina."

"Don't have to tell me twice. I wouldn't last a day in prison. I mean, look at me, I'm a snack," Scanlan smirked cheekily.

Vex rolled her eyes, "Get moving, gnome. Naruto, you have the gold?"

"All sealed up," Naruto patted a scroll on his side alongside the limited provision they had in the keep.

"Good, you're with me, Vax, and Keyleth. If we're gonna face vampires we need specific supplies. Percy, you Grog, Scanlan and Pike-"

"I'm not going."

The group's reaction to Pike sudden and unexpected declaration was obvious, "W-what do ya mean, Pikey?"

"I...I'm not going. Something's wrong with me. I can't feel the Everlight anymore. I'm no use to you guys as I am".

"You're leaving us? Now?" Scanlan couldn't believe it. Pike was their healer. Keyleth knew magic, true, but healing wasn't exactly the half-elf ashari's forte.

Without their cleric the task had levelled up to even more levels of risky.

"I'm sorry. I need to figure this out. Need to know why the Everlight left me."

"Then I'll come with you," Grog offered.

"Oh, fucks sakes," Scanlan couldn't believe their luck.

"No, buddies. I...I need to this on my own. Apologize, make amends, do, I dunno, whatever it takes to get her to talk to me. You're needed with them, okay?"

"But...but I need you," Grog admitted.

"I know, buddies. But you're tough. You're Grog Strongjaw. Without you, they'd be sitting ducks," the gnome praised.

"Uh-" Vex quickly covered Scanlan's mouth.

"Yeah...yeah, I-I guess that makes sense. But...you'll come back, right?"

"Always, buddies," a teary eyed Pike hugged her oldest friend. The rest of Vox Machina let them have their moment and once Pike separated herself from him, she passed along her Gauntlets of Ogre Power, "Put 'em to good use, okay? Think you'll need 'em more that me where you're going."

Grog sniffed but nodded, "Okay."

"This isn't goodbye, Grog. Even when I'm not with you, I'll always be by your side. Now go. All of you."

The group nodded and one by one they began to leave in one direction while Pike went another. The gnome was saddened to leave them when they needed her but Pike needed to do this, too. She'd be no use to them. She'd be dead weight. She needed the grace of the Everlight once more. And that was a journey onto itself.

As she walked away, she could hope that her goddess was in a listening mood.

XxXxX
​

"Get in," Naruto ordered the two half elves.

Behind him Keyleth transformed back from a squirrel just as the rogue and ranger slipped inside from the removed grate. Luck was on their side as seconds later a patrol was seen passing by but their break-in went unnoticed.

"That was close," Naruto sighed in relief.

"Man this is exciting!" Keyleth admitted a tad too loudly.

"Shush!" Vex warned her, "First rule of break-ins: no noises!"

"Sorry," Keyleth apologized but the excited child in a candy store look remained and made Vex roll her eyes.

Silently but quickly, all four moved from the basement to the store level. The store was dark and barely visible with the sun only just starting the rise on the horizon, but with all four being having improved vision it was barely an inconvenience.

"Let's get this over with. Gilmore may like us but I doubt he'll fancy us taking his things without-Woah!"

"Oh, shit!

"Gah!"

"Mmph!"

The group had various reactions the instant they found themselves entrapped into a floating purple prison. The darkness that filled the store vanished as the candles, lanterns and chandelier lit up one by one and once the ones from the second floor were lit the group saw the store's owner with a bemused expression.

"Hehehe," Vax and Keyleth could only chuckle nervously.

"Ooh, crime doesn't pay. But it is entertaining. Very entertaining," he added, his gaze focusing on Naruto and Vex. More specifically, where Naruto's head was wedged.

"Mfmhmph!" was flaying his arms.

"Gilmore," Vex growled. Not embarrassed but exactly thrilled at the position she and Naruto found themselves in.

With a chuckle and a snap of his fingers, the group was released from their magical prison and fell to the ground unceremoniously.

"Guhhh! Sweet oxygen!"

Gilmore cocked at eye at his reaction, "Really? That's all you have to say?"

"Dying from no oxygen with your face stuck between a pair of breasts is Scanlan's fantasy, not mine. No matter how nice they felt," said the blushing blond.

The statement resulted in Vex cocking her eye, "Don't know how I should take that."

"Don't get me wrong, they were nice," the blond ignored her snorting and the twitching of Vax's brow, "but dying from a lack of oxygen ain't fun all the same."

"He's not wrong," being a form adventurer himself, Gilmore could attest that such a death wasn't pleasant, regardless of how it happened.

"Whatever. Just don't say a word to Scanlan," the last thing she needed to hear was his comments on the matter.

"My prices just went up, my dear," teased Gilmore, "I'm assuming you were going to pay or leave an I Owe You despite coming in while my shop was closed?"

"Uh..."

"Hmmm..."

"Of course, darling, you know us," Vex reassured him but the man from Marquet was only amused by her failed attempt to persuade him.

"Uh-hmm. All too well," was all he said before getting down to business, "So, what do you need?"

Getting to work quickly, all four walked about the store to see if they could find anything of use along with the necessary provisions they'd require. Most magical stores sold only magical items but being a former adventurer, Gilmore also carried certain mundane adventuring necessities excluding rations.

"Dagger, dagger, dagger... Ah! Wooden stake," Vax muttered, plucking the latter and earning a look from his casual flirt.

"I'll take these enchanted arrows. And as much garlic as you can spare," Vex told the store owner.

"Ugh. I don't want to know...No, that's a lie. I absolutely want to know! What's this all about?"

"We kind of pissed off a vampire," Vax's admission made the man blink.

"And our healer's out of commission," Vex added.

"Mm. Then may I suggest the addition of something special?"

"Got any weapons of - what did he call them? - the Morninglord?" Vax inquired.

"Weapons of the Morninglord? Good luck getting your hands on of those weapons. I've never seen one in person but I can tell you item associated with Lanthander cost more than a pretty copper and certain collectors are willing to pay a fortune for them. Barely a handful of them remain since the Age of Arcanum. How did you-" Shaun inquired and wathced Vex and Vax pointed behind them in Naruto's direction.

Shaun looked at the elementian and seeing the sheathed sword gained a look of surprise and laughed, "Of course. Quite the good fortune you have, Naruto. If you're ever looking to sell-"

"Never gonna happen," Naruto quickly nipped that in the bud before the sword could.

Shaun shrugged, bemused rather than irritated, "Can't blame a man for trying. Though I am curious to know how you managed to get one."

"Pure dumb luck," Naruto told them, but Vex had her doubts.

"Good for you. But, useful as it is, you'll need more than luck when facing a vampire. If you're truly looking to stop one, I recommend this: holy water. And not that swill anyone can make. This is one hundred percent pure distilled essence of divinity in a bottle only the highest of the clergy can make. Harmless against anyone not undead, evil or fiends. More or less pure sunlight in a bottle that will keep on burning and one of the only known ways to put an end to vampire for good other than direct sunlight," Gilmore educated the group.

"We'll take all the holy water you've got."

"Your looking at it. Once available they sell out rather quickly."

Gilmore's statement irritated the ranger. One bottle of holy water wasn't going to be enough in her mind. "I'll some more supplies then. Have you any holy weapons?"

"Fresh out, I'm afraid," and even if he did such weapons weren't cheap.

"Hey, Gilmore, what are these?" Naruto inquired about the unassuming ring and the book of tattoos, "Sign said it called the Ring of Hidden Volley?"

"It lets you store smaller weapons like daggers and bring them out before you targets have a chance to react. Very bland to look at I'll admit but no one would assume it's magical or worth a copper just looking at it."

"Good thing I got my gear from Karen," Naruto muttered, thankful he had gotten them a few days before. The dwarf blacksmith woman was gruff and not the best looking of individuals in existence but she had been willing to replicate his shuriken and kunai when his stock had gotten dangerously low. To date, she was the only individual in Emon who knew and was willing to make shuriken, or star-knives as shuriken were called in Tal'Dorei, despite their history with shadow monks, "And the book?"

Here Gilmore sighed, a look of disappointment framing his face, "The book, I admit, was an impulse buy from a former worker of mine some years ago. I bring it out every now and then but haven't managed to find any one willing to buy it."

"Why's that?" Naruto inquired further. From what he saw, the book was about tattoos almost akin to fuinjutsu. In his mind, such things could be quite useful.

"Because few possess the skill or desire to learn them in these parts and the materials necessary to make the tattoos aren't exactly cheap or necessarily easy to come by," Gilmore admitted with a frown.

"Mind if I take 'em both?"

"The ring, for a price. The book, I'm willing to part for free, if you're willing to provide me with something...unique," Gilmore told him.

"That's not exactly the definition of free," Keyleth muttered before she resumed her struggle with the blasted finger trap.

"Not giving you the sword. But I have kunai and shuriken and some exploding tags?" the deadpan look from the store owner told him what he thought about that offer. They were exotic but to many, they'd just be odd-looking daggers, and star-knives were uncommonly due to their reputation, "Okay, uh, what 'bout this?"

"A brooch? Are we just hocking random junk now? Where'd you even get that?"

"Accidentally nicked it from Sylas when we were fighting. He's the vampire we're after. Think it's worth anything?"

Gilmore 'hmm-ed' for a few seconds but decided to humour the younger man and held out his hand, "Hand it over."

Doing as told, Naruto passed the brooch to Gilmore and with a wave of his hand and some muttering in a language that went over his head, Naruto watched as the shop owner concentrated and the brooch glowed for a good minute before it faded away, "Well, now, that is interesting."

"It's magical?"

"Oh, very much indeed, dear boy. This little number looks ordinary but I can assure you it's not. It's designed to prevent others from knowing the true nature of the wearer from all magical means. Most cities and individuals have a means or another of detecting them and I have it on good authority that Emon has such a means, too. But this beauty was designed to fool those measures. Not easy to make."

"What does that mean?" Keyleth inquired, finally freed from the toy.

"It means it'll hide your true identity from scrying and divination spells and allow you to bypass certain magical security measures. Either you're up against someone talented enough to know how to make items that can avoid detection from Emon's magical security, or the council has a traitor in their midst," Gilmore informed the group.

"Lovely. Another one," Vex sighed at their luck. Krieg was bad enough but now there was another potential traitor?

"Think you can bring this to Kima or Allura-neechan? Tell 'em I found it on Sylas," the last thing Naruto wanted to hear upon returning was something happening to either one of them.

"Are you kidding?" Gilmore laughed, "After everything you've told me, this little number's likely to earn me a decent tax break for the next little bit if I bring it to their attention. As a thank you, you can have the ring for free, too."

"Sweet!" not what he had expected but, hey, Naruto would take it.

"Good for you. Now then, for your friends, how much for the lot, Gilmore?" Vex had her usual charming look as she looked at the sorcerer.

Gilmore, however, gave her a look that she knew all too well.

By the time the four had regrouped with the rest of their party after acquiring the necessary rations for their trip, Vex was in a less-than-pleased mood and Vox Machina was at least 2000 gold coins poorer from Gilmore alone.

(Several Days Later)
​

Travel for the wanted group was slow. Or at least slow in Naruto's opinion when compared to the way ninja travelled back in his plane. Whitestone was approximately 400 miles from Emon according to Percy. There were ways of getting to their destination much faster through magical means and spells - and if Delilah's claims of being a former Archmage of the Dwendalian Empire were true then the Briarwoods were very likely back in Whitestone - but such means weren't presently at their disposal. So they were forced to go at it the long way.

On horseback it would probably take nine or ten days if they really pushed it. By carriage - and this was with one that was in good condition and light compared to the heavy hunk of crap Scanlan, Percy and Grog pilfered for them - it could take them several weeks, perhaps more if the weather was bad or if they had to stop for repairs or other unforeseeable circumstances.

Getting to Whitestone required crossing several mountainous terrain and heavily forested areas, all of which had seen rain so the wet ground didn't exactly help either - and at one point they had been beset upon by a gaggle of harpies while crossing the mountain trails. Had they'd been able to use the airship from Emon it likely would have been avoided. Harpies weren't super smart but smart enough that they avoided them as airships generally had magical defences that nullified the effects of their songs. Heck, if they had been able to take the airship it probably wouldn't have taken them more than half a day to reach Whitestone and they could've avoided the dangerous routes they took.

By comparison, Naruto could have reached Whitestone on foot in a few days, five days tops, at full speed. But having never been to Whitestone before, and not exactly being an expert when it came to reading a map, he had to grin and bear the long slow trek that most of Exandria were forced to endure. And boy was that a boring and unwanted experience. The group did what they could to pass the time but even then there was only so much they could do. Percy, fortunately, knew the surroundings better than the rest of them and two days ago they had reached the Alabaster Trail and were presently in the Parchwood Timberlands. Whitestone was only a day's travel, at most, and from the look in his tired eyes, the man was eager to see his former home and rid it of its usurpers.

The group would only have to endure the boredom for one more day in the dark misty woods. Luckily no creatures, brigands or monsters had crossed their paths the moment they entered the woods. But at the same time, and while Naruto was unfamiliar with these woods, he had a nagging feeling that such a place shouldn't be so eerily quiet and devoid of any signs of life. It reminded him of when they were in the mountainous areas nearly a week back. It was too quiet for too long, like the quiet before a sudden unexpected storm. And if the way he spotted Vex eyeing the woods herself, Naruto believed she might under the same suspicions. They could be wrong.

But with their luck, what were the chances of that?

"So, can you make it out yet? Any luck translating?" a bored Keyleth looked at Scanlan, his eyes squarely on the book.

"Uh, totally...Uh, some? Okay, yeah, most of it's impossible. Her handwriting isn't making it easy. The language she used is also mixed so it's throwing me off. But, I mean, look at this. This is some seriously messed-up shit. A can only make out few bits and pieces every few pages. See this page for instance? The only thing I can make out on it is 'zippertwat'?"

"Uh, okay, yeah, actually, I think it's a ziggurat," Keyleth told him after a glance.

"Oh. Thank gods. 'Cause what I was picturing was, like... whoa."

"They spent hour teaching me stuff like this for my Aramenté. Ziggurats were ancient structures used for contacting gods. Wish I could help more, but I fell asleep a lot in Ancient Abyssal class," Keyleth admitted with an embarrassed look.

"Hmm. So, then, we're hopelessly fucked," Scanlan concluded.

"We definitely are," the ashari agreed.

"We will be with that attitude."

"Oh, and I suppose you're having better luck with your book?"

"Yep," Naruto gave him a one-finger salute, his Ring of Tongue adorned on it.

"...I hate you," Scanlan pouted.

"Cry me a river," was Naruto's reply, "These tattoos are actually quite interesting. Not cheap to make but I'm pretty sure they'll come in handy. I'm trying to see if I can replicate 'em with my clan's sealing techniques. So far, I think I can only replicate the minor ones. Maybe. Wanna be my guinea pig?"

"Ahhh, I'm good," Scanlan scooted away from the blond when he saw the mischievous grin on his face.

"Wuss."

"I wouldn't mind," Keyleth admitted, "Any good ones?"

"Uh...not exactly, no. Just basic stuff that are mostly one time use or pretty useless. I'd have to reapply them on you afterwards. The better ones I know are from my clan but I don't know if they'll work on you guys...or if it'll have a bad reaction," Naruto sheepishly admitted, "I might be able to pull off some of your world's tattoos with some minor tweaks but I'll need specific materials."

Though a tad disappointed, Keyleth nodded, "Okay. What do you need? Herbs, bark, troll blood?"

"I got a troll dick you can use. Think that'll work?" Scanlan offered with a lecherous look.

"How do you...Why do you-You know what, let's move on," Naruto said in the hopes of forgetting what he just learned, "I need gems: rubies, emeralds, sapphires, etc. And a good amount of 'em need to be crushed into fine dust and mixed with magic ink for it to work. I think I can substitute that last part with my fuinjutsu but it'll take some tweaking so it doesn't bite us in the ass. The gems are a strict must."

"And we sold those to Gilmore," Vax recalled with a sigh, "Lovely."

"Oh, right. Crap," Naruto's hung low. That meant unless they got lucky, it would be even longer before the group could benefit from the better tattoos.

"Stop the cart!"

"Woah!" Scanlan rolled onto his back at the sudden stop, "The hell, Vex?!"

"We're being followed," Vex warned, an arrow knocked back at the direction of the shadow that crossed her vision.

"Finally, I get to kill something!"

"Really gonna need to work on that, Grog," Naruto told the giant of the group, a kunai in his off-hand as he scanned the surroundings. Not that any of them would know with his eyes covered.

The rest of the group was tense as they, too, scanned their surroundings for the unknown creature Vex spotted. Then, suddenly, from the woods it came. A soft whining of a dog, the group watched as one wobbled out from behind a tree.

"Oh, poor puppers," Keyleth cooed at the creature, "Are you hurt? Do you need help?"

"Get back!" Naruto suddenly declared. The group looked at him and became instantly on guard the instant they saw his sword shinning. It could only mean one thing.

Undead.

The whining transformed into growls and more of them appeared from the wood but their approach was slowed thanks the sword's light shinning ever more brightly and the group of adventurers could see them more clearly through the mist. Their size was that of a dog and their shape could have them be mistaken for a wolf. But all resemblance faded once one got a good look. They were chimeric in nature with dark stretched patches of bloody flesh, white milky eyes, and barbed tails. These weren't naturally occurring creations.

"Gifts from Delilah," Percy quickly deduced, his pepperbox aimed at the abominations.

So distracted were they that they failed to notice the leader of the pack approaching from the front of the cart. The horses kicked reared back and their loud neighing drew their attention just in time to see the grotesque creature split its mouth open, a large and impossible long prehensile tongue jutting out and wrapping around Scanlan like a constrictor before it fled with the back and gnome.

"It's got the book!"

"It's got Scanlan!"

Naruto was the quickest to react, taking off after the pack as the rest continue to board their ride. Chakra pumped into his legs to augment his speed and as he neared the first of the undead wolves. The creature snarled when it noticed him but slice from his sword and the sizzling of leg flesh had it tripping head over ass.

One down. Two more to-Naruto jumped, nearly losing his momentum, as an undead hound jumped from above in an attempt to pin him down, "Of course there'd be more in hiding."

It spoke volumes of how valuable the book was for Delilah to go all this trouble, "Scanlan! Don't let go of the book!"

"Not like I have a cho-Hhmmm? Mmmm!"

Naruto's eye began to twitch as Scanlan's shocked expression turned lecherous from the tentacle that was inserted in his mouth, "Thank you for tonight's nightmare!"

Naruto made a mental note to kick the gnome extra hard if he survived this.

The blond jumped and lashed out with a kick that threw off a lunging wolf. The creature rolled and from the squelching sound he heard behind him it met its end under hooves and wheels. With the creature no longer present, Naruto pumped his legs even harder to try and reach Scanlan. The blond became worried at the sight in front of him.

"Trench!" Naruto warned the group.

The blond hoped they heard him as the wolf jumped over it with ease along with its pursuer. Fortunately for the carriage riders, Keyleth's quick think formed a solid albeit uneven bridge from great large thorns that saw them safely through what would gave otherwise been a painful experience.

"Can't you go any faster?!"

Naruto didn't know if Vex was shouting at him or not but either way he frowned. While he was steadily gaining on the creature, it was much quicker than its smaller brethren despite its larger size. Worse yet, while Scanlan managed to get himself lose, Delilah's book remained firmly in the jaws of the undead wolf creature. Focusing, Naruto willed the power he inherited from Doubleway's Manual to manifest and just as another wolf lunged at him from behind, Naruto's body became a blur. The act confused the creature as its target was suddenly many feet away from it.

The confusion by the unexpected act caused it to meet its end by a blasting arrow from Vex, "Got it!"

Naruto's former steady pace was no longer so. Where as before he was only slowly catching up, now the shinobi was but a few feet away.

"Someone do something! Shoot it in the dick? Come on, Vex, nobody breaks balls better than-Oh, hey, when'd you get here?" Scanlan asked.

"Just now. Hi!" Naruto enjoyed the creature's look upon realizing he was barely a foot behind it and was too slow to react as he sliced its legs with his shortsword. The creature was tough, but the holy weapon was its worst nightmare as it sliced through. But even then it still continued to run, "Oh, that's just wrong."

Fortunately, despite the alpha of the pack being remarkably well balanced, the loss of its leg slowed it down considerably. But its unexpected turn caught them all off-guard as it made for a chasm, "Shit! Jump!"

"What?" Scanlan looked behind him and paled at the sight, "Fuck this!"

The gnome wasn't going to die over a book and did as Naruto ordered. The bard rolled on the ground, covering his face and curling up into a ball to minimize any damage as Naruto continued his pursuit. The creature was close to the edge of the edge so Naruto did something he was infamously known for: recklessness. The ninja jumped on the wolf's back, making it thrash and slowing it down even more as it tried to shake him off.

Naruto retaliated by stabbing the creature's neck just as it jumped off. Both falling over the cliff into the misty depths below.

"Naruto!" the group cried, the carriage coming to a halt as they neared the edge.

"Oh, oh, man," Scanlan couldn't believe it.

"No," whimpered a teary eyed Keyleth.

"He-he can't be-"

"He's gone," Vax said what couldn't be said.

"Fuck," Vex cursed at the rotten luck. Percy for his part remained silent but his knuckles were tight alongside his face.

"Did anyone see me do that because I'm not doing that again!"

"I can still hear his voice even in death," Grog cried.

"Uh, Grog?"

"Go into da light, Naruto. Go into da light."

"I'm alive, you big baby!"

Grog blinked and then looked behind him, "Huh?

"Yo!"

Vex sighed in relief as did most of them, "How did you-"

"Jumped off and did wall walking," Naruto grinned, and held the book aloft, "And look what I got?"

"Skree!"

Swoosh!

Naruto blinked and comically flexed his hand, "Huh?"

"Skree!"

Looking up, Naruto spotted the thief, an undead bird-like creature with a heavily molted body and grasped within its talons was the book.

"...Motherfucker!"

"Keyleth, go after it!" Vex ordered once she realized the creature was too far, too small and too fast even for her to shoot down.

"Me? But-I-"

"Now!" Vex ordered more firmly.

"Forget it, Stubby. Look," Vax pointed and the group watched as a large number of birds joined the one that nabbed the book, "She'll be outnumbered and out of luck."

"Gods damn it!" the group heard Percy curse, a dark scowl on his face, "She got her way...again."

"...Uh, not that I'm not pissed too or nothing, but please tell one of you knows a cleaning or bath spell?" Naruto shuddered as his form was covered in sticky undead slime and viscera.

Whether it was the mood or because nobody knew such a spell, Naruto got silence as his answer.

Fuck!

XxXxX
​

The mood remained sour for the rest of the evening as the group made camp for the night. Once camp was made, the adventurers began telling tales to lighten things up. Grog boasted about how he killed a monster by ripping out its tongue with his teeth. A feat none would deny was something he'd pull off. Vax had fought against a tigerman during his days in the Clasp, later revealed to be a cocky Rakshasa from the Nine Hells.

Which was impressive given they weren't easy foes.

Keyleth had ended what sounded like a duergar in a horrible - though accidental! - way. Tough or not, duergar were just as vulnerable to the intense heat of lava as most races. Scanlan, disturbingly yet unsurprisingly, boasted about his bedroom exploits until it turned out to be some monster or possessed woman with a horrific growth as it reached its peak.

"I still finished," Scanlan said to their horror and disguise and bemusement.

"I'd say I'm surprised but that'd be a lie," Vex commented with a chuckle, her gaze landing on Naruto, "So, what 'bout you, Naruto?"

"Me? Well, back home I got swallowed up by a giant snake-"

"Dat's just sad," Grog cut him off with a laugh.

"A snake that can swallow a dragon whole."

"Withdrawn," Grog quickly rescinded.

"You have snakes that can swallow dragons?" Percy's mind mentally calculated just how big such a creature needed to be.

"It was a summon," Naruto added and having explained what summons were in a previous conversation the group understood.

"How'd you survive?" Keyleth inquired.

"By being awesome and, well, me. I blew up its guts from the inside. Neither painless nor pleasant, though. Damn thing just ate, too," Naruto shuddered and thinking about it made him miss the Shadow Clone Technique, too.

"Alright, I'll hand it you. Getting eaten and coming out the other end and livin' to tell about it, not a bad kill. But how 'bout here?"

Naruto was certain that was a crude innuendo, but ignored it for the time being, "Well, there's Brymscyt-"

"Doesn't count," the group said as one.

"Why not?"

"Solo kills, not group kills," Grog reminded him.

"Damn. Okay, fine. Solo kills, solo kills," the blond muttered, his mind thinking back on the creatures he slew before joining the group. He had a few but doubted they'd believe him, and it was something he wasn't willing to share just yet.

"Well, uh, I may or may not have 'fought' and won against a-Nope, never mind!" Naruto quickly stopped himself.

He really should have thought before he spoke. Doubly so from the intrigued looks sent his way.

"Oh, no! We're not doing that. Spill!" Vex ordered, practically sensing something juicy.

"...Succubus."

"You fought a succubus?"

"Sorta," Naruto blushed at the memory.

"...No!" Scanlan's face broke into a shit eating grin, "You fucked a succubus?!"

"I didn't know! She was in disguise and it just happened! And it was my first time!"

"HA! Popped his cherry with a succubus. Oh, man, I love life! Let me guess, you fucked, got the life drained outta you and when she went in for the kill you turned the tables?"

Naruto blushed even harder, "Not exactly."

.

..

...

"What?"

"It was my first time having sex, okay! I went overboard because it felt really, really good. How was I supposed to know twelve hours wasn't normal?" the blond huffed.

"TWELVE?!" Scanlan and the rest were floored, even Percy.

"I'm a stamina freak. Sue me!" Naruto shrugged, "Anyway, I ended up tiring her out, and when it was pretty clear I was still raring to go, she revealed her true form and fled back to the Hells, I think."

"You outfucked a succubus and your dick scared her back to the Hells?!"

"Yep."

"You?"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes, and no I will not be showing it off," Naruto's pointed look was directed at Scanlan.

"I mean, the kid's got stamina, no denying it," Vax reminded them. None could dispute that Naruto had the best stamina of the group, "Thanks for making us look bad, mate."

"Not apologizing for being me."

"Outfucked a succubus. Can only imagine what that's like," Vex wondered with grin that made Keyleth blush red and made Naruto uncomfortable.

"Pass!"

"I beg your pardon?" Vex was incensed.

"You've got the vibe of someone who's into weird shit," and while she wasn't Scanlan, Naruto had been around certain characters thanks to Ero-sennin to develop a sense for it.

The ninja still had the odd nightmare of when the old jerk brought him to a noodle house where one of his agents posed as one of its bartenders. Turns out it had been an exotic brothel that did unspeakable horrors involving ramen. The blond had pranked Ero-sennin's ass hard for that for weeks.

"I call bull!" declared the gnome, breaking Naruto from his thoughts.

"I-I dunno. He sounded like he was telling the truth," the red faced Keyleth added.

"Well, fuck you, too!" Vex couldn't believe it.

"I meant the stamina thing!" Keyleth quickly added at Vex's look. Vex said nothing but did point two fingers to her eyes and then back at the ashari.

"Like any part of that story was real!"

Vax snorted, "You're just mad you got tricked into fucking something fuggly by comparison."

"At least mine was real," Scanlan sulked, neither denying nor confirming, "How'd it even happen?"

"A gentleman never tells," was the reply he gave them.

"Didn't happen then," was how Scanlan took it.

"Says the jealous gnome," Naruto's quip earned him the finger.

"Okay, I'm bored with dis. Wat 'bout you, Percy. What's the weirdest thing you've ever face?" Grog diverted the conversation back to its original topic.

The answer was an easy one for the De Rolo, "They're in Whitestone. And we'll all be facing them soon."

Once again the mood soured at the comment

"Buzzkill."

"Grog," Keyleth groaned at the big loveable doof.

"Wat? He is!"

Naruto knew he wasn't the smartest of individuals, a fact his former classmates and teachers would readily concur with - assholes! - and perhaps not the most socially adept either, but next to Grog he might as well be a gods damn genius.

"Welp, fun's over. Might as well do some reading," Scanlan proposed, fishing out a scroll.

"What's that?" Naruto inquired.

"Just a little something I picked up from Brimscythe's cave. Been meaning to see what it does. Now's as good a time as any. Just need to figure out how it works," the gnome admitted, his eyes never leaving the scroll as he read, "Okay, sounds simple enough. Uhhmm. Nevosh, nevonn, klu...mehom?"

The group watched as Scanlan's face warped into a grotesque contortion until he began to shrink into a new shape.

"Ribbit!"

"A scroll that turns you into a frog?" kinda cool, and while not exactly useful in combat, Naruto could think of a few instance where this would come in handy.

"I-I think it's a Scroll of Polymorph! They let you change your shape into almost anything. Pretty rare scroll," Keyleth voiced.

"And why was this not part of our other stash?" Vex bore accusing eyes at the transformed gnome.

"Aahahahaha! Oh, look at the cute wittle froggie!" laughed Grog.

"Ribbit! Ribit! Rib! Ribbit!"

Once again the gnome transformed. By contrast the creature was large, big enough that the guffawing Grog was pressed down underneath.

"What the heck is that?" Naruto wondered at the horrifying mix of horse and sea creature gone wrong.

"A hippocamp! Oh, I used to love reading about them," Keyleth gushed.

"Good luck with that one," Vex muttered to her sputtering brother.

"Hahahaha! This is awesome!" despite being underneath it, Grog's laughter only seemed to increase.

"Nevosh, nevonn, klu, mehom!"

The next transformation caught them off guard, Grog especially, "Woah. Okay, now I'm confused and aroused."

"Gods damn, I look good," spoke the tall, busty elvish woman looking Scanlan. His hands admiring his newfound curves a little too much for comfort.

"Don't get any ideas, Scanlan," the last thing Naruto needed was another nightmare to enter his head. The tentacle thing was bad enough.

"Oh, please, you're just jealous cuz can't turn into anything half as-"

Poof!

"...Holy fuck!" Grog and Scanlan declared as one.

"Damn!" said the twins.

Percy's mouth was agape and Keyleth was blushing red.

"Trust me, I've met plenty of pretty women," Naruto spoke, his voice and body transformed into Tsunade, "This is Tsunade-baachan. She's the current leader of my village."

"How does she lug those things around?"

"I wanted to live so I never asked, but I'm pretty sure it's 'cause of her super strength," Naruto transformed back, ignoring Scanlan and Grog's whining, "Ero-sennin peeped on her once when they were younger and she nearly killed him for it. Broke both of his arms, fractured six of his ribs, and ruptured several internal organs. And that was her holding back. Got caught before he could see 'em but said it was worth it."

"This the same woman you said could knock off a giant's head with a fist?"

"That's her barely putting in any effort. Pretty sure she could swing one around like a club if she was pissed or drunk enough," Naruto added.

"Sounds like a woman after my own heart," Vex smirked and five of them blushed at the implication.

"Night! Going to bed!"

"Me too!"

"Gross!"

But as they each turned in for the night, sleep didn't come easily for some, Percy most of all. Sleep didn't come easy at all for him, rare were the nights that did. When dawn rose, the group continued on their trek as Percy explained the beauty that was Whitestone and the good time he had there before the Briarwoods came it was.

"I honestly never thought I'd see it again," were his words as the morning fog began to lift.

Sadly, reality was cruel and the view of Whitestone was even crueller as Vox Machina laid eyes upon a city that clearly had seen better days. The city was, in a word, grey. The sky, the ground, the buildings, it was as though a permanent fog decided to settled on the city that was now void of life, the people were no better either. Many who looked at them quickly entered buildings or alleyways, avoiding them as though they were a pack of disease ridden animals.

"What have they done to it?" Percy couldn't believe this was once his home. Couldn't believe the sight before him.

The bakery he and his siblings visited was collapsed. The once pristine fountain in a square polished to a shine cracked and broken. The Alcove, a bar his older brother Julius took him to have his first beer, where they were forced to drink an entire keg as punishment when their mother found out. The road barely walkable and worst of all was the Sun Tree. The jewel of Whitestone and its most history landmark. The once proud tree that stood tall with golden leaves in Dawnfather Square was dead, a standing corpse. Around the tree was a stage covered in blood and hanging above it from withered gnarled limbs were eight corpses all donning the same clothes and bearing similar looks of Vox Machina's members.

"Are, are those supposed to be us?" Scanlan shuddered at the sight.

"It is us," Keyleth noted.

"Looks like the Briarwoods laid out the welcome rug for us," Vax scowled at the sight.

"Guys, we need to move."

"What? We can't just-" Keyleth began to say be she along with the rest of the group looked at Naruto and followed his gaze. In the distance was a towering lumbering figure. Its form was obscured, but it was clear that's what it was.

"Fuck me. They have a giant," Vax cursed.

"Giants," Vex corrected after spotted more immense shadowy figures in the fog.

"Alri-"

"Shush!" Vex covered the goliath's mouth, "If the Briarwoods know we're here, we're fucked. And I for one want to live long enough-"

"Will you two move your asses already!" Scanlan ordered them from an alleyway the instead he spotted the first giant.

"But-"

"If we cut 'em down who knows what'll happen. The Sun Tree's obviously being watched and the Briarwoods are probably expecting us to do something. They'll have to wait," Percy reasoned.

Naruto believed the figures should be cut down but agreed that this could be a setup. The old him wouldn't have cared, and if he still had his shadow clones that might have remained the case, but they were in unknown elements and easily outnumbered and who knows what other nasty surprises were waiting for them. The prankster and ninja in him knew that the element of surprise was their best friend.

"We'll cut 'em down when we can," the elementian reassured her.

Even then the look on her face remained the same as she reluctantly joined the rest of the group.

"Alright, De Rolo, where the fuck do we go from here? Cuz, no offence, your city's scary as shit and I'm all for heading back to the horses and getting the fuck outta here. This place is seriously messed up," Scanlan had seen some not so pleasant places before. But, right now, Whitestone was easily at the top of the list.

"Keeper Yennen."

"Who's that?"

"A holy woman. Someone of great importance to the faith of Erathis, the Lawbearer,. If anyone can tell us what's happened here, it's her."

"Assuming she's still alive. You sure about this? It's been years and places like this tend to change people" Vex pointed out.

"You don't know her like I do. She's strong. We can trust her," the De Rolo reassured.

Vex wasn't so certain but nodded all the same, "For our sakes you better be right, Percy."

He didn't voice it, but after seeing Whitestone's current state, Percy also hoped so as well.

"You guys go ahead. I'll scout around see if I learn anything," Naruto told them.

"Why you?"

"Hello? Henge!" a puff of smoke later and Naruto was garbed as a disheveled looking child with red unsettling eyes.

"Not a bad idea. Keyleth, go with him."

"Me?"

"You're the only one of us besides him who can change their appearance and fit into spaces the rest of us can't."

"What about Scanlan? His beret lets him change his appearance," Keyleth reminded.

"Hey! Don't drag me into this! Besides," a quick tap and a shimmer and Scanlan was replaced by a female halfling in tattered clothes that left nothing to the imagination, a huge bust, and wearing the beret, "This thing only lets me change my appearance to another humanoid that has my size. Hat doesn't go away either. And, before you say anything, I haven't gotten the hang of the scroll yet."

"I wasn't. You seriously couldn't help yourself," Vex groaned. When Scanlan shifted towards her, his newfound bust bounced very noticeably, "Change back."

"Please. I'm confused and aroused again," having seen Scanlan transform into a female human with the scroll from Brymscythe's lair and not knowing how he should react.

"Keep that thing away from me, Grog," a reformed Scanlan told the goliah. The gnome was into many things but only if reasonably sized.

Grog had the desired muscled but was too big for his liking.

"My point stands. Keyleth, go with Naruto. Just, I dunno, turn yourself into a mouse or a snake."

"Okay, yeah, sure, I can do that."

"And hide in his armor."

"In-in his armor?" Keyleth blushed at the thought.

"Or you could be a literal trouser snake," Scanlan snickered along with a few.

"...I don't get it?" Grog asked with a look of confusion.

"Good for you," said a blushing Naruto. He'd get the gnome for this.

"I-I-I-I-"

"Good job, mate. You broke her," Vax'ildan sighed but tried bringing Keyleth back to her senses.

Smack!

"Ow!"

"Problem solved. Get to work," Vex ordered.

"You slapped me?!"

"Want another to be sure?"

"I'm good. Let's go," was Keyleth's way of saying no.

"Be honest, you've been wanting to do that for a while now, right?"

"Did you secretly enjoy getting your ass kicked by three women?" Vex asked back.

"...Do I have to answer that?"

The looks he got told him they did not but they got their answer all the same.

XxXxX
​

"Professor Anders, are we on track?"

"All should be ready within the allotted time, Lady Briarwood," spoke a portly thick necked man with a pale complexion, "The refinement is coming along smoothly, I assure you."

"Excellent. Now, what about the rebels?"

"Caught and being interrogated as we speak, Milady. Regrettably, I'm forced to admit their leader is proving quite difficult. Then again, it's to be expected from dwarvenkind. Stubborn and resilient to a fault they are," spoke a man with tousled brown hair, greying at the sides, wearing blue and black ornate leather armor, "But he'll crack, Lady Briarwood. They always do."

"Still think you should just kill the prick, Kerrion," was the opinion of Goran Vedmire, a towering gray-skinned figure and easily the most physically imposing and powerful of the so called New Nobles. It was to be expected from a goliath.

"Where's the fun in that?" Kerrion's face was usually a charming one, but each time his nasty personality reared its ugly face so did the chilling reminder that his looks were nothing more than a well-crafted trap.

"Normally we'd let you have your fun, Kerrion, but we're expecting some annoying pests to arrive any day now," spoke Sylas.

"Ah, yes, the Champions of Tal'dorei, and their elementian friend. You must let study him when you're done with him, Lady Briarwood."

"Of course, Professor. In due time," Delilah reassured the De Rolo children's turncoat instructor. Anders had read about elementians in passing in the De Rolo's more secure wing of the library normally only the head of the family could access. The marvels of necromancy were a sight to behold. Beside, Delilah was curious to know why his blood had such a reaction on Sylas in the first place.

"Oh, how simple minded you all are. Hehehehahahaha!" spoke a distorted voice that made the group frown. Some were unnerved by their newest unwilling member, "All force and no finesse. No artistry at all. It brings tears to my eyes. Well, if I could cry, that is. Hehehehahahaha!"

"Says the madman," Kerrion muttered with a shudder.

The man had made the mistake of entering their newest member's home, the residence of a former noble family loyal to the De Rolo's that had been a thorn in the Briarwoods' side ever since they took over Whitestone. Kerrion considered himself quite tolerant to many things given his talent for torture. But when Rosehall had finally fallen and the Resistance's biggest supporters had all met their end, it hadn't been a pretty sight.

Blood soaked its halls and the smell would forever be ingrained in his minds. Lord Sylas was a disciplined man and had incredible mental fortitude, even after he became a vampire this didn't change, a result from years of combat and intense training. But even he had nearly lost himself in a blood frenzy at the sight. It had been the only time Kerrion and the others had seen Lady Briarwood look at her husband in fear.

Neither Briarwoods had stepped foot in Bloodhall since then for fear of a relapse. The man that now resided in that very house stepped forward into the dim light.

The clinking of his boots was a constant, rhythmic mockery of a heartbeat. He was a handsome and exceptionally tall man an inch or two shy of eight feet, but unlike Vedmire it was clear he was no goliath for build lacked the bulk and skin tone of the incredibly tall race. The man tilted his head, his posture mimicking the refined grace of nobles and others of highborn aristocracy. At the same time, he carried himself like a grand maestro. Or, at least one ready to conduct a symphony of slaughter. He adjusted his pristine cuffs, seemingly unbothered by the fact that they had permanent bloodstains on them.

"Madness is such a subjective term, dear Kerrion," his voice ended with a small but unsettling laugh, an uncomfortably sound in the ears of nearly everyone present, "Is it mad to appreciate the true essence of a masterpiece? A painting requires more than just spilling the paint bucket on the canvas. It requires precision. Stripping the flesh, snapping the bones at the perfect angle, listening to the delicate splish and splash as their lifeblood flows freely for all to see. Watching the light from their eyes fades as they hopelessly try to cling to life. That is art."

He leaned in closer to Kerrion, his unsettling grin putting the much smaller man in a state of incredible unease, "You only inflict pain to get a confession. Anyone can do such a boring task. I extract the very truth from their souls through the grand design of suffering. If you want your little dwarf to talk, introduce him to me. It'll be quite the show."

Sylas Briarwood narrowed his eyes, his hand instinctively gripping the hilt of his blade. The memory of that blood-soaked manor still lingered like a foul taste in his mouth. He knew the creature before them was a ticking time bomb—an artificial terror that cared nothing for the Briarwoods' grand ascension or the Whispered One's rebirth. He was here merely because Whitestone provided the perfect, lawless playground for his twisted designs and because of the deal Delilah made.

Delilah, by contrast, maintained her chilling composure. She looked at the monster in human flesh not with fear, but with the cold, calculating eye of a necromancer who viewed all life and the afterlife as tools to be manipulated. Yet Sylas knew her long enough to recognize even she was unsettled by his demeanor.

Even if his weekly examples wracked the people of Whitestone with a healthy dose of fear, preventing them from acting out on how they truly feel, his madness and unpredictable demeanor made him an unsteady acquaintance at best, a walking timebomb at worst.

"Your 'artistry' has its uses," Delilah spoke, her voice cutting through the tension like cold steel, "But remember our agreement. The Champions of Tal'dorei are approaching. If your games interfere with the refinement of the ziggurat-"

The figure cut her off with another distorted, mocking chuckle, bowing deeply with dramatic, theatrical flair, "Oh, Milady, you wound me! I would never dream of ruining the main event. In fact, I am quite looking forward to meeting these 'heroes'."

Delilah's eyes narrowed but a vibrating sound came from the man's pocket, "Ah! It's that time again! Duty calls, Milady! Hope you enjoy the show. Hehehehahahaha!"

The figure turned on his heel and the New Nobles watched, tense, as he placed his top hat back on and glided out of the room with the silence of a panther despite his height. His mocking laughter echoing down the stone corridor long after the heavy oak doors clicked shut behind heavy atmosphere in the chamber didn't lift. If anything, the air felt colder, thick with the lingering scent of old blood that followed the madman wherever he went

"I still say we crush him," Vedmire rumbled, his massive gray fists clenching tight enough to make his knuckles pop like small explosions. "That fucker's a mad cunt, Lady Briarwood. Whitestone's fucking terrified of him, sure, but he doesn't answer to no one."

"He answers to the terms of my agreement, Vedmire," Delilah replied coldly, though she subtly adjusted the collar of her dress, a rare tell of her unease, "He keeps the populace terrified and paralyzed in their homes, praying they aren't his next 'work of art'. And with them too scared to plan riots or join the Rebellion, we can focus our efforts on the ziggurat."

"And if he decides our guests are more entertaining than his contract?" Kerrion asked, wiping a sudden bead of sweat from his brow. For all his boasting about his love for torture, the sheer, senseless depravity of the creature's weekly 'exhibitions' made even his stomach turn.

Sylas stepped closer to his wife, placing a comforting, pale hand on her shoulder. His crimson eyes flickered with a quiet, lethal promise, "If he steps out of line, I will end him myself. Contract or no contract."

Delilah didn't voice it, such was her devotion to her husband and confidence in his skill, but as much as she'd like to deny it, should Sylas and their 'ally' fight it would not be an easy bout. Even at night, Sylas would only have a slight advantage. During the day, however, such an outcome would be unknown. If he fought both her and Sylas at once she was confident they'd likely win.

Unfortunately, the agreement prevent her from doing so.

(Sometime Later; Sunset)
​

"I fuckin' hate this place!"

"Shush!"

"Don't shush me!"

Shing!

Scanlan's mouth became tighter than a virgin asshole at the threat.

"Mind giving my dagger back, Stubby?" Vex rolled her eyes but did as requested.

"Yo!" a whispered voice from an alleyway called out.

"What did you find?" Percy inquired as Naruto and Keyleth became their usual selves once more.

"It's not good," Naruto said the instant he and Keyleth shifted back to their original forms, "This place is swarming with undead and the guards are on edge. The people here are scared out of their minds. Damn sword nearly gave us away from all its shaking."

Even now the sword whirred and chimed, practically a night light at this point even in its sheath.

"What's with her?" Vex nodded at the ashari who was promptly puking where she stood, her back being rubbed by Vax to soothe her discomfort.

The elementian scowled as he answered, "Enhanced smell and the last house we went into wasn't a pretty sight. What about you guys? Any luck finding the holy lady?"

"Keeper Yennen," Percy reminded, "And yes."

"And more! There's dis group called the Resistance-ow!"

"Not so loud!" Vex hissed. The ranger couldn't understand what was up with the men of this group.

"The what now?" Keyleth asked, wiping her mouth from the bile that covered it.

"Apparently Whitestone isn't completely hopeless," Vex quickly explained what they learned to Keyleth and Naruto.

"Good to see your family still has loyal friends," if there was one thing Naruto valued it was loyalty.

Percy didn't comment on the subject and merely beckoned them to follow and hope the information they were given wasn't leading them into a trap. The group stuck to the shadows as they followed Percy, the white haired De Rolo's posture was tense and his eyes flickered at everything in sight and his hand twitched to his gun at every unexpected sound that was heard.

"Hey, is it me, or is he, I dunno, looking a bit trigger happy?" Naruto muttered lowly.

"Oh, yeah, he's twitchy," Grog nodded.

"Definitely on edge," Vax agreed with a frown.

"Can you blame him, brother? Remember how we felt when we returned home?" Vax's face softened at the memory that seemed like a lifetime ago.

"That's different, Stubby," Vax argued, even if it was halfhearted.

"Agree to disagree," was Vex's last word, the matter dropped for now.

The group suddenly stopped as Percy came to a halt. From their angle they spotted an older woman with dark skin and white hair standing near a fountain, donned in priestly robes and surrounded by various citizens as she gave a sermon. It didn't take a genius to figure who she was.

The fact some guards were overlooking it helped too.

"Friends, I know you have suffered. My heart weeps and my back breaks under the weight of these past few years. But anger makes us reckless-"

"Take notes, Grogs," Naruto jabbed.

"Oi!" Grog took offence to that. There was nothing wrong with getting angry and letting loose.

"Shush!" Vex shushed the two, her eye twitching at the two imbeciles.

"-A new dawn is coming, friends. And soon we will bask in its glory, together," Yennen finished.

Minutes went by as Yennen spoke to the citizens who listened until they each began leaving one by one, and rather quickly, too, along with any remaining guards. By then, the sun had since been replaced by the moon as day turned to night. Yennen began walking away, her hood placed over her head until it became apparent to her that she was being followed. But years of experience and enduring in the current Whitestone had taught the priestly woman how to recognize intent. Turning around, the woman spotted seven individuals cloaked in twilight's shadow.

"We don't see many new faces these days."

"Keeper Yennen, tell me, what do the Briarwoods make of your sermons?" Percy inquired.

The question was an odd one, but one she answered still, "They don't attend my services. But their Pale Guards tolerate me...for now."

"You truly believe the Dawnfather will send a sign?"

While she was not a follower of the Dawnfather and more versed in sermons of the Lawbearer, Yennen knew enough to get by with the Faith of the Dawnfather being the most prominent in Whitestone given its historical significance. And how dangerous it was to utter such words presently, "Shh! That name is forbidd-Ohh! Oh, oh, gods. Little Percival. Oh, my dear child. You've changed so much, haven't you?"

Yennen wasn't just speaking physically as she looked at the child she once knew. The one the people of Whitestone believed had died long ago.

"I am what they made me," Percy gave as a reply, the memories of that night flowing back like a bad wound, "We were told-"

"Not here. It's not safe. It's nearly time," Yennen cut off.

"Time?" Percy inquired but a rhythmic rustling was heard.

"That's not good," Scanlan recognized the sound of armor when he heard it.

"Follow me. Quickly!" though old, the woman's movements were swift as she guided the group to a safer location before the guards found them. They tolerated Yennen, but it was doubtful the same could be said about their group. After rounding a corner and zigzagging through various alleyways, Vox Machina watched as the woman issued a series of secret knocks before she was granted access.

"Hurry the fuck up!" a voice hissed and when the last of them entered the derelict abode. A small group of people were inside and the fear on their faces was profoundly prominent.

Before any of them could inquire, a sound pierced the air from outside. The noise was foreign to Vox Machina except Naruto and the denizens of Whitestone. It was the sound of a speaker, "Good evening, my fellow pawns and knaves. Another gloriously dreary day in our fair cit-ay. Hehehehaha. I don't need to remind you all that it's that time of the week again. You all know the rules. One riddle, one answer. Get it right and you will thrive! Get it wrong, and bye-bye. Hehehehehahaha!"

"Who is that?" Percy inquired, scowling at the laughter.

"You don't know?" Naruto was surprised.

"I remember the voices and faces of everyone one who tortured my sister and I: the Briarwoods and their conspirators. This one alludes me," Percy stated, racking his brain but unable to remember any such individual.

"They're new. Only been around for maybe two months; showing up out of a nightmare. Soon after they arrived things got worse. Soldiers placed those things all around Whitestone so everyone could hear. Honestly, no one's seen who they are. They make that announcement at night once a week."

"Why do you say they when it's obviously a man?"

"No one's seen them, Percival. We don't know if it's a man or woman. Their voice changes every time their voice comes from those things."

Scanlan frowned at the revelation, "Probably to keep everyone on their toes."

"No. To spread fear and doubt," Yennen corrected the bard, "It could be anyone and we wouldn't even know it. It's made everyone suspicious of one another. What we do know, is that once a week they decide to 'play'. Five of our people are chosen. Each one gets one chance. One. If they answer correctly, they are spared. If they guess wrong, they're forced to choose which family member gets killed."

"That's...that's insane," Keyleth and the rest couldn't believe what they just heard.

"It's worse. If they don't pick, the entire family is slaughtered by the undead and forced to watch it happen, and any villager that got the answer right is forced to kill them or suffer the same thing."

"Fucking shit," it was easily one of the most messed up things Vex had ever heard of.

"Right, we're killin' this shitstain, right?" a determined Grog asked.

"Count me in," Naruto was more than in favour.

"And exactly how are you meant to do that, you lackwits, without knowing who they are?" Vex reminded them.

"...By finding out who they are?" Naruto and Grog told her as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. Vex, however, rolled her eyes, muttering 'idiots' under her breath from their answer. As if it would be that simple. And, lo and behold.

"I wish you the best. None of us have had any luck. Many have taken to calling them the Riddle Killer," scowled Keeper Yeenen.

"No! No!" voices yelled.

"Let me go!"

"Please, please, have mercy!"

The group went to the nearest boarded windows, a small series of cracks allowed them to see what was happening and they watched as five individuals were dragged before a nearby square where a single pedestal of dirty white stone stood. Sitting upon it was a box like object with a glowing gem and a brass trumpet-shaped cone. Once all give were shoved near the pedestal, the device glowed white and a red circle enveloped them. Escape was impossible despite the attempts of the few who tried punching the invisible barrier but it was futile.

"Congratulations! You've been selected from this cast of…a little. For an exclusive, obtrusive, intrusive… transmittal. And I want to know your name—but not till we're through. For as soon as I learn, that's one riddle burned. And I do love a mystery, don't you? Ha-ha! Now only the living solve riddles, as everyone knows, that's a must. When your city is so full of zombies, its seams are about fit to bust! Ho-ho! It's time for the riddle, no more waiting. We thank you for participating! Contestant number one: I stand tall and proud when I'm young and bold. But I'm short and humble once I've gotten old. What am I?"

"Uh...A dick?" Grog answered.

"Grog!"

"I mean, he's not wrong, when you think about it," chimed Scanlan.

"Not everything has to do with sex, Scanlan!" Keyleth argued.

"Don't look at me, I suck at riddles," much as he otherwise liked to be, Naruto knew he was of no use here.

"Human?" someone from Yennen's group guessed, "You're tall when you're an adult but hunched over when you are old, making you shorter?"

"That could apply to any race," Vax was doubtful that was the answer, frowning as he tried to figure out the riddle.

"Uh-ah-oh."

"Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Time's up!"

"A dick?!" the villager answered in a moment of panic.

"See! I ain't the only one-"

"Shut up!" Percy hushed the goliath.

"Correct! Fantastic insight!"

"You're fucking kidding me," Vox Machina, except Grog and Scanlan, couldn't believe it. Well, at least the villager was safe.

"Yes, that is what I would have said if you'd been right, but you were NOT. I'm not angry, just disappointed. And a little angry. You, dear villager, are an absolute blockhead! But… ahem… you know what? It's been quite a pleasure. So I think you've earned quite a nice piece of treasure! You thought of the flesh instead of the wick, now the penalty for your blunder, one that will stick! Hehehehehahaha!"

"Fuckin' hells. That is one sick fuck," Vax couldn't look and neither could the rest as the blood curdling screams began.

Each of them tried their best to block out the sounds that echoed from the square and ignore the following riddles that followed. But one by one it was clear that the chosen citizens lacked the intellect to solve each riddled asked of them. Naruto at one point, unable to take it anymore, tried to rush out along with Grog until the group and the people stopped them.

"You'll get us killed!"

"Don't be stupid."

"We can't just sit here doing fuck all!"

"It's a trap, you idiots!" Vex hissed.

"If you go out there you'll be damning everyone here," Vax backed up his sister.

"Look, I don't like, and personally I'd rather get the fuck outta here, especially since they don't know we're here-"

"He's right," Percy cut Scanlan off, imploring them to see reason, "The Briarwoods are only expecting us, they don't know we're already here. That gives us the advantage. But the moment we give ourselves away they'll throw everything they have at us."

"So we're supposed to do nothing? I can't just stand around-"

"Oh, what's your plan then, darling? Get red and angry?"

Naruto flinched at the half-elf's comment and narrowed his covered eyes at her.

"Pretty harsh, Vex," Scanlan said after putting some distance between them.

"But am I wrong?"

"It doesn't matter. The Resistance tried breaking that barrier with a mage before and all that ended with them dead. It's a trap to lure out any Resistance fighters, or any dissidents," Yennen told them.

"You can do it," Naruto fought back the grimace and did his best to ignore the voice, "You can end them easily."

"Get out of my head," Naruto mentally growled.

"You can't ignore me forever. We both know it. Dread it. Run from it. Fate still arrives all the same, no matter how far you run. No matter what you do, it changes nothing. Doesn't change what you did. What you still are. What she wants you to be."

"Shut up!" Naruto ordered, his sword humming and shining brightly.

"Naruto? You okay?" Naruto glanced sideways and saw the concerned look Keyleth and that of Scanlan and a few others.

"I'm fine," he lied as mocking laughter echoed inside his head before fading away once more.

Keyleth didn't buy it for a single moment, but an audible 'krrchak!' from outside distracted her and the rest of the group, "And that's it folks. Another week has come to an end and once again my disappointed has-ain't. Hehehehahahaha! See you all next week, and stay tuned for more announcement from me! The Riddle Killer!"

Many among them sighed in relief and just as many wept once the speakers died once more, "Thank the gods. It's over."

"Thank the gods? The fuck have they done for any of us lately?"

"Friends, please. Now is not the time to be divided. This is what the Briarwoods want," Yennen began placating the group, "Times are hard, but we have a group willing to help and lay down the lives for us."

"When did we agree to last part?" Scanlan muttered.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We have business with the Briarwoods, true, but we're just ei-seven

"Would the gnome count as half?"

"Oi!"

"Yes, but if we count Grog it evens out," Vex smirked at Scanlan's indignant look.

"Quite the colourful group you're leading, Percival," Yennen remarked.

"Actually, we're more like co-leaders-" Keyleth began.

"Fuck dat! I'm the tallest, I should be the leader! No offence, Percy, but yer a teeny bit too wittle to lead us."

"Wait, wait, wait. There's a height requirement?" Scanlan demanded. Since when was that a thing?

"Well, obviously," it was obvious in Grog's mind, "It goes me, then Naruto, Percy and Keyleth cuz they're both six feet, Vax, Vex, Pike and then you."

"Okay, happy as I am about my growth spurt making me the second tallest, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way, Grog," the ninja told the goliath.

"I'm last?!" Oh, Scanlan was so calling bullshit!

"Duh?" but that was apparently the wrong thing to say as an argument broke out amongst them.

"We're fucked," a voice from the onlookers muttered.

Though not vocal, Yennen herself wondered if the gods had an odd sense of humor or if this was a test. Though for the first time in a while, the holy woman smiled, "Come. I know people who can help you."

"You're a pacifist. Since when do preachers-"

"As you can clearly see, much has changed since you left Percy. Many of us aren't the same as we once were," Yennen told the De Rolo. Yennen had given up her fighting staff and shield decades ago, and she was no spring chicken, but she was no defenceless maid either even if she was out of practice.

The woman led the group through alleyways and darkened areas, but it didn't wasn't easy at times.

"Will you tell that bloody thing to shut up!" Vex hissed at Naruto.

"I tried! It's not listening!" he hissed back as his sword whirred and glowed. The weapon's hatred for the undead wasn't working in their favour at the moment.

"I've never seen a weapon quite like it."

"It really hates undead. Oi! Knock it off, or I'm burying you in manure!" Naruto threatened the blade but that only made the sword louder as its high-pitched whirring suddenly spiked, vibrating violently as if in defiance of Naruto's manure threat.

"Fer fucks sakes!" before Vex could lose his temper completely, a sudden light strum of a lute cut through the tense silence.

Scanlan stepped forward with a dramatic flourish, his fingers dancing across the strings and unleashed a magically infused melody directly into the alleyway, targeting the frantic energy of the blade, "Hey there, blade, so shiny and bright. No need to start a bloody fight. Just drop the glow and dim the spark, 'cause daddy needs it nice and dark. Sleepy time, little sword, don't you make a sound. Daddy's here to lay the magic down."

The effect was instantaneous. The sword's angry glow softened until it faded away, and its audible whirr became a low, rhythmic hum, until it couldn't be heard anymore. Within seconds, it went completely dark and quiet, and Naruto blinked, staring down at his suddenly docile weapon, "Whoa! That actually worked?"

Scanlan winked, giving his lute a final, soft strum, "Calm Emotions spell. Works on angry mobs, works on giant monsters, and apparently, works on pissed weapons."

Vex let out a long, exhausted breath, lowering his shoulders, "Let's just move. I've seen what happens when that spell ends."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It'll probably want to stab or cut him half a dozen times," Vax answered with a grin.

"I am so unappreciated," the gnome murmured as they continued, "And that only happened once!"

The gnome's comment earned him flat looks from everyone except Yennen and Naruto.

"...This month," Scanlan admitted under the weight of their gaze.

"You had no idea if that would work, did you?" Naruto inquired.

"It shut it up, didn't?"

"The singing came from over here!" came several voices, followed by large thuds that made dust and specks of dirt to fall down from the buildings above.

"Oh, for the love of-"

"Move!" Yennen ordered the group. So much for the subtle approach.

---

As a reminder, I am including some original elements and those from the online campaign alongside the animated series. Yennen in the animated series was a cleric of the Dawnfather but in the campaign, she was a male and was a cleric of the Lawbringer. Kerrion Stonefell, the purple ugly dwarf dude in the animated series, was actually a charming and good-looking human with a sadistic streak and love of torture. As for the new person I included, that will been introduced in the chapters to come. Naruto's arrival had a ripple effect so canon events have branched off. I hate when people just copy paste the storyline, and or replace a character with another, but there's no change at all when that's not how it works. To me, it's lazy writing.

Anyway, enjoy! Chapters going forward will be anywhere from 13k to 20K words. As always, please review. I'd like to see 50-60 reviews given the traffic isn't up and don't know if people are interested in this or not.

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Vox Machina's New Equipment/Items
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True Holy Water

Category: Wondrous Item,

Rarity: Rare

Attunement: No

Description/Benefits: A crystal flask with liquid inside shifts between a serene silvery sheen and to liquid sunlight. As an action, you can splash the contents of this flask onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, you make a ranged attack against a target creature. On a hit, if the target is a fiend or undead, it takes 4d6 radiant damage plus 2d6 fire damage, ignoring resistance. It has no effect on anyone other creature. The radiant energy clings to the creature; it takes an additional 1d6 radiant damage at the start of its turns until it takes an action to douse itself with ordinary water to clean it off. Whether the attack hits or misses, the flask shatters and sprays holy energy. Each fiend or undead within 5 feet of the target square takes 2d6 radiant damage.

Sunlight in a Bottle: A fiend or undead hit directly by the flask must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or be blinded until the end of its next turn.

Hallowed Ground: The area of impact where the holy water splashes becomes consecrated holy ground for 1 minute. This area becomes difficult terrain for fiends and undead. If used in the vampire's resting place, the vampire doesn't benefit from the site's rejuvenating properties for 8 hours, as the earth becomes deeply tainted. If the vampire attempts to enter or remain within its resting place during this time, it cannot heal, loses its daylight protections, and takes 2d6 radiant damage at the start of each of its turns.

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Ring of the Hidden Volley

Category: Ring

Rarity: Rare

Attunement: Yes

Description/Benefits: The ring appears as a simple, unadorned band of dark, brushed steel. It lacks any gems or ornate carvings, making it look like a common piece of a soldier's jewelry. The only hint of its nature is a series of faint, hair-thin grooves on the inner band that are nearly invisible to the naked eye unless the ring is actively being used to store or summon a blade. A commonly owned ring, once used by members of the Shadowy Death Syndicate to great effect to hide their weapons in plain sight.

Seal of Light Arms: You can store up to 20 non-magical weapons within the ring that have the 'Light' and 'Thrown' property. Using an action, you can store a maximum of four weapons by touching the ring to them. (Weapons that were already stowed in the ring can be stored again as a free action.)

Flash Draw: You can summon a stored weapon into an empty hand at will (no action required).

Thousand-Blade Flash: You can use an action to release all the stored weapons in a 30-foot cone. Each creature in the area must make a Dexterity saving throw (DC = 8 + your Proficiency Bonus + your Dexterity modifier). On a successful save, the targets take half damage.

Damage Calculation

1–5 weapons: 14 (4d6 piercing damage)

6–10 weapons: 21 (6d6 piercing damage)

11–15 weapons: 28 (8d6 piercing damage)

16–20 weapons: 35 (10d6 piercing damage)

Once this property is used, the expelled weapons land in the cone's area, and the ring becomes inert until the end of your next turn. While inert, you cannot draw weapons from the ring, if any, and any weapons you wish to restow must be reinserted using an action as normal. Once you use this property, you cannot do so again until you finish a short or long rest (if you expelled 1–10 weapons), or a long rest (if you expelled 11–20 weapons).

Please be aware that I have created a Patron page which I am doing because unfortunately times are tough and I need to make ends meet and help a family member who recently lost their job and has not been able to find anything in the last four months. My original stories, former stories, one shots and story ideas are all there as well.