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RATCHET & CLANK: Of MICE and MAYHEM

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The first thing I remembered was booting up as a tiny robot mouse.

The very next thing I remembered was seeing the face of Chairman Alonzo Drek. Who apparently thought that I was a high-price prestige edition office toy.

I was not.

That would have been the MOU-53E Mousoid Office Utility - Executive Edition. I was an MOU-513 Mousoid Observation Unit.

In other words, I was a miss-click on the order form.
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Tales from Gadgetron Quality Control (an Of Mice and Mayhem omake) New
Tales from Gadgetron Quality Control​

QA Supervisor: "Now remember, every MOU-513 must successfully complete its infiltration, observation, and office utility diagnostics before shipment."

"Any questions?"

A freshly assembled MOU-513 suddenly charges across the factory floor.

MOU-513: "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY SQUEEKINS!"

It dives headfirst into an active welding robot.

CRASH!

The QA supervisor sighs, picks up a comically oversized mallet...

WHONK!

QA Supervisor: "Failed aggression calibration."

Checks clipboard.

"Next unit."


Fresh MOU-513: "I AM SNEAKING BY YOU RIGHT NOW! PLEASE DO NOT NOTICE ME!"

QA Technician: "...Points for politeness."

Fresh MOU-513: "SO I PASSED?"

QA Technician: "No."

BONK.

Unit #127

"I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BLENDED INTO MY SURROUNDINGS!"

(standing in the middle of an empty white floor)

BONK.


Unit #438

"I HAVE OBTAINED THE SECRET DOCUMENTS!"

"...Those are your assembly instructions."

BONK.


Unit #602

"NO ONE WILL EVER FIND ME."

"...You're sitting on my clipboard."

"...I HAVE BEEN FOUND."

BONK.


Unit #901

"I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY INFILTRATED THE ENEMY FACILITY."

"...This is still the factory."

"...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?"

BONK.

QA Technician: "Okay, so this particular MOU-513 made it all the way through the testing chamber, extracted the target intelligence, and made it all the way back without being detected..."

QA Manager: "Excellent! So why is it in pieces?"

QA Technician: "It self-destructed rather than turn over the intelligence."

QA Manager: "...To whom?"

QA Technician: "...Us."

QA Manager: "We're the ones who built it."

QA Technician: "It couldn't verify that."


QA Technician: "We lost a MOU-513."

Manager: "That's horrible! How?"

QA Technician: "It was in deep cover as a computer mouse."

Manager: "…Okay?"

QA Technician: "Steve from Accounting grabbed it thinking it was a regular mouse."

Manager: "That's unfortunate, but—"

QA Technician: "Then Jerry, who likes to prank Steve, replaced it with a bagel and gave the mouse to someone else."

Manager: "…I'm sorry, a bagel?"

QA Technician: "Yes."

Manager: "And the espionage unit?"

QA Technician: "Still on the move, technically."

Manager: "Define 'on the move.'"

QA Technician: "We're not sure who has it anymore."


Fresh MOU-513: "Reminder: inhale. Reminder: exhale. Reminder: inhale…"

QA Technician: "FAIL."

Fresh MOU-513: "Aw… but why?"

QA Technician: "Organic customers find continuous physiological reminders 'deeply unsettling' and 'not conducive to brand trust.'"

Fresh MOU-513: "Noted. Adjusting tone."

Fresh MOU-513: "Reminder: you are doing fine. Reminder: please continue existing comfortably. Reminder: hydration is recommended."

QA Technician: "…Still fail, but for different reasons."
 
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