The Birds and the Bees (no sex)*
Inspired and taken from this
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3868283/1/Adventures-In-Education
It was just an ordinary day at Beacon, with the sky smiling down on the school and the birds chirping happily. Isabel was scribbling away in her notebook while nick was mindlessly playing catch with himself throwing a ball at a wall.
After a particularly limp throw and catch Nick stopped and turned to his partner. "Hey Izzy?"
"Yes, Nick?"
"You're studying to be a doctor right?"
Isabel raised an eyebrow. She's been clear about that ever since she first came here. When was that ever in doubt?. "I am. Why?"
She did not expect what Nicholas said next.
"Do you know where babies come from?"
Isabel froze. She knew Nick was ignorant about many things due to his upbringing. But surely that priest grandfather of his would at least tell him that. Right? She slowly turned to face her partner. "Do,.. Do you not know?"
Nick shrugged. "Nah, it never seemed important."
"And yet you're asking about it. So what changed?
Nick paused. " Remember those kids we had to babysit for a few days?"
Isabel smiled fondly. It was a simple enough mission. A couple veteran hunters had to go on a week long mission. And so they hired Beacon to help find babysitters. They were rambunctious and difficult at first, but Nick's lack of shame and maturity allowed him to bond with them easily. By the time they left they were asking if they can see him next time they went on a mission.
"I do. I'm surprised we didn't need to pry them off you when we had to leave."
Nick caught the ball in his hands and placed it on the bed. "It had me thinking that not too long ago I was their age. Their size… and then… I was thinking… where did they come from? Where did I come from? How are they made? Do yoh Know Izzy? Qrow said you'd know better than him about this." Not for the first time, Nicholas looked to Isabel with…
thatlook. The one that resembled a lost puppy desperately trying to find its toy. The look he gave when he genuinely wanted to learn something and was interested. The one that always did infuriating things to Isabel's heart.
Isabel fought the blush in her cheeks and sighed rubbing her temples.
"You're… going to want to sit down.. and take notes! I'm not repeating it twice!"
Isabel pulled out the chair from her desk and placed it in the center of the room.
At the same time she pulled out a giant whiteboard from… somewhere and hammered it to the wall. After grabbing onto Nick's hands she dragged him to the seat, sat h8m down in it and shoved an empty Notebook and pen into his hand.
Isabel started drawing a diagram of the female reproductive sytem just like in her books. She began labeling each part dilligently while Nick tried to follow along and copy her drawing.
Once the drawing was done Isabel inhaled.
"Okay… so… Babies…. They… come from the uterus. It is an organ exclusive to the female reproductive syste,"
Nick nodded and scribbled in his notebook. "So only girls can have a baby?"
Isabel's lips firmed. "Yes and No. The girls would have to reach maturity first. Say… about 12 years old minimum. Before then they won't even have any eggs to fertelize."
Nick's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Woman lay eggs? I thought it was just birds!"
Isabel lightly chuckled. She was eternally grateful no one else was here to laugh at him for this. "Well, it's a little bit different, but essentially, yes; women do lay eggs on a monthly basis. But unlike a bird, humans only lay their eggs once they've gone bad- if they're fertilized, they stay inside the body to develop."
Nick nodded as he faithfully wrote in his gifted notebook p. "So, women lay rotten eggs every month, and if the egg doesn't go bad it stays in the body?"
Isabel nodded. "Correct. This is called menstruation, in which the Uterus prepares for pregnancy by shedding its outer skin and becomes excreted from the Woman's Vagina."
An enlightened look crossed Nick's eyes. "Ooooh so that's why you needed those pads. To clean up the skin.
Isabel smiled. "Indeed. Now once the outer skin is removed, a fertilized egg will enter the Uterus and develop into a baby, over a period of nine months. When the fetus is ready, birth takes place."
Isabel took a look at Nicholas praying that this would be the end of it. Praying that this was as awkward as it was going to get.
Sadly reality was a cruel sadistic bitch." …How does it get fertilized ?"
Isabel's semblance was the only thing keeping her from blushing. Tdesperately thinking of what to say. She couldn't find anything so she did the next best thing… Stall.
"I'm sorry?"
Nick pointed to the egg in the diagram. "The egg, how does it get fertelized?"
Okay times up. " I… well….Sperm travels through the fallopian tubes into the ovum, or egg."
A look of c onfusion crossed his face as he quickly over the diagram and saw nothing for "sperm" "…What's sperm?"
Isabel's blush darkened. She spoke slowly and deliberately to make sure she didn't lose a single shred of her dignity. "A man's genetic material. It's a white Liquid excreted from a man's… penis… Have you ever …had that happen before?"
Now it was Nick's turn to blush.
" A…few times in the past month or sobut why does it do that? I'm not making a baby. Not yet anyway."
Isabel put aside any and all thoughts of Nick's… 'Ejaculations'. She took a deep breath. "Let's…. Put that… aside for now. Now let's get back on track. A sperm fertilizes a woman's egg and becomes a fetus."
"But how does it get into the tubes?" Nick asked
"Fallopian tubes. Well… they… they would usually have… Sex."
Nick put his finger to his chin in a conetmplative gesture. "I've heard that a couple of times but i never really thought to ask. What's sex?"
It took every ounce of control in Isabel to not let her blush darken further at what she was about to do. About explaining Sex to a well built sculpte- NONONONONO! FOCUS!
Isabel sighed heavily. She focused on her current objective. teaching. Teaching and informing Nicholas. Just… get it all done.
" It's when a man and a woman… or really two individuals… attempt… to pleasure each other through touching their bodies… usually their… penis and their vaginas. The important part is. Through this proccess, A man's penis would enter the vagina and eject their sperm inside the Woman's tubes into their Uterus. Which would then fertilize the egg turning it into a fetus."
Isabel began to speak faster desperate to end this.
"The uterus then expands to accommodate the growing size of the fetus. When the uterus expands, the woman's stomach gets bigger. And that's where babies come from. Now let me see your notes I need to make sure you got everything down properly."
Without waiting for Nick to respond she carefully snatched the notebook from his lap and hid her face behind it pretending to examine his notes. While she took a moment to come down to reality.
10 years later
Nick confidently pointed at his poorly drawn diagram of the female reproductive system. "And then the Uterus grows bigger so it can take care of the baby. And that's where babies come from! Any questions princesses?" He ended his lesson with a smile.
Aqua and Saphron, 5 years old, sat on the couch staring at the information on the board still trying to process what they just heard. Eventually Aqua raised her hand.
"Yes Aqua?"
"Is that why you and mommy tell us to go play with the neighbors when she gets that look in her eye?"
Nick nodded. " well, ye"
An opening door signaled Isabel's return from work. "i'm home!"
We're in the kiving room!" Nicholas called Back. Isabel's heels clacked louder as she approached the kiving room untill she entered it, cheerfully sauntering toward her husband.
"Hi Nicky <3" The doctor gave a quick peck on the cheek to Nicholas before turning to the Whiteboard. Her look of serene happiness quickly dropped into a look of fringe horror.
This change in behavior didn't go unnoticed by her husband. He put hsi arms on her shoulder. "Honey? You okay?"
After a long beat of silence Isabel spoke ":…….. Saphron dear, what has Daddy been teaching you?"
Saphron answered her with a slightly haunted look. "Daddy told us where babies come from!"
Aqua shuddered next to her. " I'm never having babies. I do NOT want a yucky boy sticking his wee wee in me."
Isabel patted her head gently consoling her. "You won't have to if you don't want to sweetie, don't worry." Isabel then turned to glower at her idiot of a husband.
Nick stepped back in fear, instinctively understanding he fucked up. "Wha? What did I do?
"Kids go to your room. I have to teach daddy the importance of "Age appropriate learning" Her voice would've frozen the water vapor in the air.
Aqua scrunched her face in disgust "Ew. Is this another sex thing?"
Isabel glowered at her daughter. "It isn't. Rooms. Now."
The girls exited the room without further complaint.
Nick gulped as he prepared to face his wife's wrath.
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