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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Another Salem trolling moment!

Salem: "Have you ever wondered where the idea of you being Qrow Branwen's daughter started? It was me, Ruby Rose! I went to Patch, shapeshifted into a nosy old biddy, and mentioned it during bridge night!"
Ruby: *recoils*
Salem: "And that time when you were thirteen and thought you wet the bed? The one your sister wouldn't stop teasing you for weeks about? It was me, Ruby! I sent a dwarf Nevermore through your open window with a pail of ammonia water!"
Ruby: "You fiend!"
Salem: "Oh, and your mother's cookie recipe? The one your sister brags about? It's mine, Ruby! I wrote it! Summer Rose couldn't boil water without burning down a house!"
Ruby: "Nooooo!"
Salem: "And your team placements? I meddled in that, too! You could have been in the Arc's team, evolving your silver eyes and testing yourself against the Nikos girl, and instead you became a prop for the Blake Belladonna Hypocrisy Hour! I PUT YOU IN A TEAM OF GIRLFAILURES AND KEPT THE ARC CLAN PASTRY SECRETS FAR AWAAAAAAY!"
Ruby: "Wait, how did-"
Salem: "It's magic, I don't have to explain it! Also, that one time you tried baking a cake and missed the sugar for the salt? IT WAS ME! I switched the labels and ruined your father's birthday cake while you were getting the eggs!"
Ruby: *lips quivering* "Then...you...Yang and Blake..."
Salem: "Oh no, that quasi-NTR bullshit with the fucked up psychological implications is just nasty."
 

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