SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

[Tangent]

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 24
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

I honestly had no idea how Shard had found me so fast, but I was very grateful that he had.

Mind you, I'd have been just a tad more grateful had he actually gotten me out of this chair or at least removed my gag first, but I guess he didn't want to risk hurting me by going too fast.

Which was kind of ironic given all of the badniks, Dark Egg Legionnaires, and mounted internal defences that were actively trying to shoot at us. And not so actively trying to avoid shooting anything that wasn't part of their subgroup.

"Ah, here we go!" Shard said as he ducked into an alcove with the chair I was in. "This should be safe enough for a few seconds…"

And in those few seconds Shard's deft, powerful hands had broken every single one of my restraints including the gag - and then we were on our way again even as bullets, blasters, and lasers riddled our position with holes.

"Now to find a way outa here," Shard commented.

So, I gave directions even as we flew through the corridors and maintenance ways at ludicrous speed. "Up! Up! Down! Down! Left! Right! Left! Right! Bay! Airlock!"

And we were outside of the Death Egg II just like that.

And in very short order, we made a rendezvous with a Freedom Fighter shuttle that was still approaching from the east.

"We gocha, Sugar," Bunnie d'Coolette said even as Shard handed me over to her and she guided me to a very different kind of seat. One without the restraints or pain inducers, or the threat of being mostly dismantled in order to be rebuilt as a weaponized slave…

Now that the danger had (mostly) passed, I started shaking and crying uncontrollably, broken sobs escaping me even as I released everything I had been desperately trying to suppress all at once.

Bunnie, Shard, and Sonic all looked at each other and nodded before Bunnie turned to her husband who was flying the shuttle.

"Get Rosie somewhere safe, Antoine," Bunnie ordered. "The boys and I got us an egg to fry."

And with that, the three left the transport shuttle and flew off towards the Death Egg II, with Bunnie carrying Sonic, even as Antione turned the shuttle around and started to fly back towards the Republic of Acorn…

---

The next day everyone in New Mobotropolis was celebrating the destruction of the Death Egg II, Shard was being repaired, and Sonic's arm was in a sling for a sprained elbow. Bunnie managed to not get hurt, but that was mostly because the fucking brand new Metal Sonic was trying to focus down on Shard first.

"And what did we learn?" I asked Shard even as Uncle Chuck was finalizing the attachments on his new left arm.

"That my replacement has bad manners and no sense of humor," Shard quipped and then fist-bumped Sonic.

"Okay, fair enough - I'll give you that," I acknowledged with an indulgent smile. "Now how did you guys find me so fast?"

"Oh, that one was easy, Sugar," Bunnie replied. "Once Bark and Bean were caught tryin' to pawn your very recognizable hoverbike and we got who had hired Nack from them, we knew there was only one place you could end up, and we still knew where the Death Egg was."

"Of course, I got there first!" Shard bragged.

"Only because you fly and I don't," Sonic quipped.

I sighed as the sheer weight of events settled on me in a different manner and I came to a realization.

"What is wrong, Rosie?" Antoine asked, immediately noticing the downward shift in my mood. "What is it that is troubling you so?"

"It's…" I hesitated, unsure how to say what I needed to say and convey the proper context. "I… It's… It's just… I…"

"You don't have to say anythin' Rosie," Bunnie assured me. "Just know that you ain't in this alone."

"Thank you," I sighed. "But that's not it. At least… not all of it. When I first manifested, part of me was Sally and part of me was Tangent, but I was always just… me. Well, me and an annoying tagalong who never shut up and wanted to use me to serve Robotnik. I didn't want to do that, but I didn't know how to be me either, so I just sorta followed Sally around, because it was safe. And if she was Sally, then I wasn't Sally. Which… honestly? It was kinda reassuring. Because while part of me was Sally, I didn't feel like I was actually Sally. So Sally being Sally and me not being Sally was sorta my thing. What I used to anchor myself."

I was quiet for a bit, but rather than filling the silence the others just patiently waited for me to gather my thoughts and speak again.

"Part of me was Tangent too, but not really," I continued eventually. "And not in the same way that I wasn't really Sally either. From Tangent I just knew things… If I remembered them, which… well, you know what I'm like. Some of which I didn't have any business knowing. A lot of it not quite right but just accurate enough to be sorta useful. But…"

I sighed again and sorta collapsed in on myself as I took a seat on the bench next to Shard. The Freedom Fighters were there, of course. As was Uncle Chuck, who was quietly working on repairing Shard.

And to be clear here, we were here visiting Shard, given that his social circle isn't actually all that big just yet. And I did not feel at all comfortable with taking the focus away from him. He's the one who took the brunt of his father's hatred and his brother's jealousy.

Yeah, Sally ended up ordering the Acorn Army to go and finish securing and dismantling the Death Egg II so that Dr. Robonik couldn't repair it again. Which got her into a row with the Council of Acorn about making that decision without consulting them. It took Hip and Hop, the current Judges appointed to head the new judicial branch to intervene and force a compromise. I didn't understand how it all settled, nor did I want to at this time, but it boiled down to the executive branch having to have at least some authority to initiate actions or why bother even having House Acorn as anything but figureheads.

Not my monkeys, not my circus. I had to get my own ducks in a row before I worried about anything else.

And my ducks are currently scattered all over the place.

---

Ultimately, we had to end our visit before anything other than Shard's repairs were resolved. Uncle Chuck had to get back to the Council - not because every member had to be there for every decision, but more because this particular decision was important enough that everyone involved had to be there to weigh in and make their case.

I will, as previously mentioned, remain quite happy to stay out of politics for the next sixteen years. Or even longer if I could get away with it.

But I wasn't free to just go home to Jules and Bernie's place in Knothole either. Dr. Robotnik wanted me enough to have had me kidnapped.

And I had been dumb enough to dismiss the idea that Robbie the Rabbit was a serious enough threat to report to anybody before deciding to confront him for stalking me.

So, I had a room in the palace again - my own this time and not just a spot in Sally's chambers.

I also had to sign in and out if I wanted to go anywhere. And request a bodyguard if I wanted to leave New Mobotropolis.

It was for my own protection.

And I hated it.

 

[Tangent]

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 25
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

"Stupid… Big… Blocky… Feet!" I huffed out as I struggled to get said feet through the legs of my new cargo pants. I can't believe I forgot about how big my stupid feet ended up because Sally's boots were incorporated into my Robian design…

Why was I trying to put on cargo pants when I've never worn anything before in my life…

YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW! THOSE RESTRAINTS TOTALLY DID NOT COUNT!

Stupid lame-ass intrusive thoughts spoiling a good meandering thought train…

Right - where was I?

Oh yeah - my week of being so bored out of my fucking mind that I finally decided to buy some clothes just to have something different to do than the same old board games with people who either didn't have enough time, weren't really interested, or didn't understand the rules.

So, pants. Nice, loose cargo pants in basic black, with cuff-snaps at the ankles because apparently i had been delusional enough to not consider that my STUPID OVERLY LARGE FEET would have trouble with even loose pant legs.

I was going to have to have help getting these off again, wasn't I?

Well, help or a pair of scissors…

Anyway, I didn't have a job because all of the available jobs in the palace were essentially government positions. So, ugh, no. I'm not getting tricked into accepting a position in the family business early. I said not before I was at least sixteen, and I'm sticking to that! Even if Sally is trying to convince me that being an intern doesn't count.

WOO HOO! Finally! That's one foot through without wrecking the pant leg!

…

And that was only one foot through. I still have to get the other foot through the other pant leg…

FUCK!

---

"That's an… interesting look," Sally commented as I joined her for dinner. Not that I'd actually be eating anything, but she was till busy enough trying to help get our political system to be just ever so slightly less dysfunctional that we had limited windows of opportunity for socializing.

And she wonders why I want to stay out of politics.

"Get used to it," I snark as I sat down and accepted a bottle of…

Huh. Maple flavored motor oil.

Apparently somebody thought I should look after my health better even though it's been established that I can handle cooking oil just fine.

No idea who though. It wasn't Sally - she'd have told me directly and would have started before today.

Oh, right - I was in a conversation!

"This is apparently how I'm dressing forever now."

"Oh?" Sally raised a brow at me as she cut up her delicious-looking steak…

I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous…

OH, GOD, I WANT TO EAT A STEAK! OR FISH! OR EVEN A SALAD! I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS LIQUID DIET OF LUBRICANTS AND LITERAL JUNK!

Okay, calm down… find my happy place… Where is my fucking happy place?

"It took me five hours to get these pants on," I said flatly. "Thanks a lot for your preference for big clunky boots, by the way. Living with them as a permanent part of my body has been so fucking great…"

"Language," Sally retorted in a bemused tone.

"Grazie mille per la tua preferenza per gli stivali grandi e ingombranti, tra l'altro. Vivere con loro come parte permanente del mio corpo è stato così dannatamente fantastico," I repeated in Spagonian and then stuck my tongue out at my sister.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Sally admonished even as she tried to fight back a giggle.

But, yeah. My new look was now black cargo pants with a white utility belt, a black t-shirt made of that nice stretchy fabric that can go over Mobian heads and still leave a small neck hole…

They should really make pants out of this stuff, whatever it is.

Where was I?

Oh yeah! And a blue jacket and white gloves!

No, I'm pretty sure that the Power Rings I'm wearing as wrist bangles count as accessories, not clothing…

Look, me - it's right there in almost every RPG equipment screen ever: Bangles equals accessories! Deal with it!

Why am I even arguing with myself?

Better question: Why do I feel like I'm losing that argument?

Nevermind - not really important.

"Any word yet on when the Counsel might be willing to let me go back to Knothole?" I sighed, expecting a 'not yet' again. Sally had burned a lot of short-term political capital with most of the Council when she sent the army out to finish off the Death Egg last week, and four of the six members of the Council of Acorn were treating me more like a prize to deny Eggman than at an actual citizen. And it was PISSING ME OFF!

Calm… calm… peaceful thoughts… happy thoughts…

No, thought about tossing Hamlin, Dylin, Penelope, and Rosemary off of the highest tower, happy at the thought may be, are not really conducive to the situation.

Besides, they might actually lock me up for that.

Or worse, make me do their jobs.

"Not yet," Sally admitted, much to my frustration. "But Rotor, Nicole, and Uncle Chuck are working on something that might help you be able to defend yourself better. Which might get the rest of the Council off of your back."

"What? They're building me a nanotech power armor that will somehow resolve my clothing issues too?" I snarked.

"How did you know?" Sally asked, looking at me in shock.

I gaped back at her.

"HOW IS IT THAT THE FIRST NONSENSICAL IDEA TO POP OUT OF MY HEAD HAPPENS TO BE THE RIGHT GUESS!?"

…

Of course, I get the stupid-ass memory I inherited from Tangent about Rotor working on a nanotech power suit at around this time. After the fact. Stupid subconscious always racing ahead of my actual thoughts…

Spoiler: Rosie's new outfit

 

[Tangent]

Meet the seamstress who is going to be resolving Rosie's issue with pants.

She is very short (shorter than Cream).

She is a mole.

She...

Unidentified Mole Seamstress: "Let's not beat around the bush, Dahling - I design for Gods! But the Walkers have terrible fashion sense, Enerjak is too difficult to work with, and the closest thing we have to superheroes either run around willy-nilly wearing nothing but shoes and gloves or is a hologram who wears holograms. And my first actual challenge went out and bought her own clothes without considering how she would get them on and off every day."

Spoiler: I design for Gods! But I suppose that you'll have to do...

I'm trying to avoid the obvious pun (and apparently blatantly losing in a most glorious manner).

But if anyone wants to avoid having her named Edna Mole, now's your chance.

But make your suggestions quick, because she's appearing in the very next chapter!

 

[Tangent]

Training with d'Coolette

​

Believe it or not, Antoine d'Coolette is actually pretty good with a sword.

 

[Tangent]

Training with Monkey Khan​

Well, if Antoine seems to be lackluster as a combat mentor, how does everyone feel about Rosie being trained by somebody who actually does fight off entire armies by himself?

Very few individuals are on a level where they can hold their own against Sonic the Hedgehog without actually having the required speed.

Monkey Khan is one of those very few who hold that distinction.

Spoiler: Monkey Khan

 

[Tangent]

SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 26
A broken SI fic by Tangent​

---

"Shut up!" I demanded with a huff as Sally did a very poor job of suppressing a gigglefit while a short mole seamstress literally unthreaded the side seams of my brand new, only worn once (and I was still wearing them!) cargo pants.

"I didn't say anything," Sally pointed out in amusement.

"You were thinking it!" I insisted. "Very loudly!"

"Uh-huh," Sally just shook her head with a grin. "Still, you have to admit that this does solve your pants issue."

What my loving and far too smug for her own good sister was talking about was the obvious solution for my two oversized hurdles if I really wanted to wear pants. Well, other than removing my feet and putting them back on afterwards. Which would hurt because I don't know how to turn off my own pain receptors, so I didn't do it.

"Hold still, Dahling, or I might…" the seamstress paused to consider something, then continued. "Well, I suppose that pricking the subject wouldn't be a factor for Robians, but it still makes working directly on a live model more difficult than it needs to be."

"Sorry," I apologized and then forced myself to stand still.

"Think nothing of it, Dahling! I've had much more difficult clients before, and I will no doubt have many more to come. Now, I normally don't do simple alterations like this but so few Robians even wear clothes I just had to come! At some point you must let me actually design something for you! You must! You must!"

"Um… Okay?"

"You won't regret it," the seamstress assured me. "That will be some other day though. For today we must fix this travesty. The colors work for you, but why cargo pants? You are royalty! You must shine! Show the world who you are and who you can be!"

"One: Pockets. Two: the rest terrifies me."

"You'll get used to it, Dahling. You'll be fine."

Okay, intimidating advice aside, where was I?

Oh yeah, pants! How could I forget that when shorty here is working on them right now?

Basically, if I really wanted to wear pants, the side seams had to be reworked with some sort of fasteners. It could be buttons, snaps, lace, velcro, or a zipper. A set for each leg of any pants or shorts with legs that I couldn't easily fit my feet through, and the problem was solved. Just like that.

A nice, simple, easy solution that was so obvious in retrospect that I utterly humiliated myself by not thinking about it until after Sally had pointed it out.

HOW!?

She spent ten years not wearing any pants at all! No skirts or shorts either! Just boots! How did she think of the solution before I did!?

I sighed and tried not to let my frustrations show. Sally didn't do anything wrong, and neither did the seamstress. Who was a fully adult mole who was nevertheless somehow shorter than Cream the Rabbit.

I think her name is… I wanna say… Edna?

She sort of had the Edna look and gave off the same high-energy vibe. And she was yammering about this and that while working on my pants.

Which I repeat, I was still wearing…

I'd ask when my life had gotten so weird, but that would be redundant. It's always been weird.

"Hey, Sally," Rotor said as he stuck his head into the room. "I hate to interrupt your time with your sister, but the council is ready to work on the constitution again."

"Sorry, Rosie," Sally apologized with a sigh. "Duty calls."

"That's okay," I waved off her concern. "Go be responsible and stuff. Although why you guys don't just send observers to the Wolf Pack Nation, Station Square, or even into other Zones to ask questions and take notes of other governments that seem to already have functional versions of the features you guys are having trouble with is beyond me…"

"How long have you been sitting on that one?" Rotor asked, raising a brow.

"Sitting on what" I asked before realizing what he meant. "Oh, that? Just now."

"Are you sure you…"

"Absolutely not!" I refused before Sally even finished her question. "I don't wanna government job! I said not until I'm at least sixteen, and I'm sticking to that! And I mean actually sixteen, not that creepy thing Amy Rose did! If mom hadn't gotten better anyway, I don't think I'd have ever forgiven her."

…

After looking at me for a few moments, Sally and Rotor just shook their heads and left.

Dammit - I can't tell if they are disappointed in me or agreeing that what Amy had done was creepy as Hell…

"You are fidgeting again, Dahling. Cease moving."

Oh yeah, Edna or Rarity or whatever her name is is still working on my pants.

"Who are you again?"

Oh, the look I just got! She is not happy with me! Abort! Abort!

Oh, wait - I can't abort. She's still working on my pants.

That I'm still wearing…

---

I turned this way and that as I examined my somewhat altered outfit in the mirror. Sadly, all four of the leg pockets on my cargo pants had to go in order to make way for the side zippers, but I still had the regular pockets, the utility belt, and the pockets in my jacket, so it wasn't that big of a sacrifice to make in order to have pants that I could get in and out of easily.

Once again, I was left with not much to do. I didn't need bodyguards inside the palace itself, of course, and while I did have a security detail when out and about, they tended to remain unobtrusive as long as I didn't leave New Mobotropolis. Well, unless I requested that they be a bit more obvious.

Not that I always spotted them, of course, but even just knowing that they were there just made me feel watched all the time. Which bothered me enough that I spent more and more time just not leaving the palace at all.

So the palace courtyards were what passed for being outdoors for me these days. And while the part of me that I inherited from Tangent was fine staying put and maybe grabbing a book or ten from the palace library to read, the part I had inherited from Sally hated being cooped up for so long for no damn good reason.

I needed to blow steam, but I didn't particularly want to be near anybody right now either, so I made my way to one of the smaller palace courtyards. Once there, I checked to make sure that nobody else was using it. Seeing that it was currently unoccupied, I began to practice my range-of-motion sets.

Which transitioned into me just dancing freely to the music in my head. Which became more and more elaborate as I started to incorporate the more acrobatic moves that Sally and I knew. Now with me taking my additional mass into account.

"Magnafique!" I heard Antoine d'Coolette call out before I ever knew he was even there.

I meant to do that!

No, really, recovering from a bad fall when performing acrobatics is good practice!

"Many apologies, Rosie," Antoine said graciously as he moved to help me to my feet. Yeah, I already got that he wasn't buying the excuse I was telling myself in my head either. "I did not mean to distract you."

"That's fine, Antoine," I waved off his concern. Other than a little stone dust on my clothes, I was fine. "Did you need me for something?"

"Bunnie was thinking that perhaps the Council would be more willing to give you your leave if you knew how to defend yourself. And, well, I do know a thing or two about the art of the blade if you are willing to have me as a tutor?"

I looked at Antoine and gave the offer all the thought and consideration it required before I gave him my decision. "Why, Antoine, that's a great idea!"

One-point-two seconds was plenty of time, right?

Spoiler: Rosie's new new outfit!

Spoiler: Dancing like nobody is watching...

Spoiler: Kicking it up a notch...

Spoiler: Wait - WHO!?

 

[Tangent]

Sally does, in fact, wear pants. She considers them part of her duty uniform for her position in the current government of the Republic of Acorn.

She's also wearing the actual Crown of Acorn, not the dinky little decorative circlet her mother wore as queen, nor the very same circlet from the 35 years in the future stories where either Sonic or Shadow wear the Crown of Acorn instead.

Anyway, this outfit is based on the outfits that Max and Elias wore when they were kings. Which is why Sally chose to have hers made along the same lines.

Also, she can fight in this outfit. If she wore a dress, she'd have to figure out how to fight in it.

 

[Tangent]

The COUNCIL of ACORN​

From left to right: Dylan the Porcupine; Hamlin the Pig; Penelope the Platypus, Rosemary Prower; Rotor the Walrus; and Sir Charles Hedgehog.

• Dylan the Porcupine - Former Substitute Freedom Fighter. Dylan takes the position fairly seriously but has a tendency to vote with Hamlin and Penelope if they both agree on something. He is against anything that he feels to be military overreach that might put civilians at risk.
• Hamlin the Pig - Former Substitute Freedom Fighter. While Hamlin does firmly believe in serving the best interests of the republic of Acorn, he still bears some resentment towards his team apparently being forgotten about so often. This sometimes leads to him being somewhat of an obstructionist to policies he feels are unfair (or that he knows very little about). He's not a bad guy, but he can be very petty.
• Penelope the Platypus - Former Substitute Freedom Fighter. Penelope takes her position very seriously. While she shares some of Hamlin's bitterness about having been sidelined so often, she'd rather the Freedom Fighters be free to do their thing than be tied up in politics so much that they end up not doing anything. In canon, Penelope was the Counsil member Naugus most often used mind control on to sway votes the way he wanted them to go, because he noted that Hamlin tended to vote against House Acorn and the Freedom Fighters and that Dylan would vote with Hamlin and Penelope if they voted the same way. This gave Naugus an almost guaranteed 50% voting bloc on most issues as long as he could phrase things to involve house Acorn or the Freedom Fighters in some manner.
• Rosemary Prower - Rosemary, along with her husband, General Amadeus Prower, is one of the few people in the Republic of Acorn that has even seen a Republic in action. And that was as a refugee and as a nonparticipating observer. So... Representatives discuss and vote on decisions and it somehow works. That is literally the extent of the knowledge that she and Amadeus brought back from space! Amadeus might have actually picked up more, as he was a General and probably observed more details, but he's currently in jail for attempting to throw a coup.
• Rotor the Walrus - Former Freedom Fighter. Rotor is a staunch supporter of Sally, the Freedom Fighters, and the people of Acorn. Not so much House Acorn in general, but definitely Sally. In canon, he ended up leaving the Council when the majority voted against rescuing Princess Sally Acorn after she had been converted into Metal Sally.
• Sir Charles Hedgehog (Uncle Chuck) - Knight of the old Kingdom of Acorn and former Robian. Joined the Counsil of Acorn out of a sense of duty and an even greater sense of guilt.