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SALLY not SALLY (a broken SI in the Archie Sonic setting)

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Sally Acorn is alive and not a Robian.

Which is extremely awkward because I just woke up as Mecha Sally, and Sally Acorn is right over there, next to the remains of the World Roboticizer, and still very much not a robot.

Here I am, in the body she was supposed to turn into, with fragmented memories that all tell me that I am Sally Alicia Acorn and another set of memories that insist that I'm just some fanfic writer that shouldn't be here.

I am Sally Acorn, except that I'm not.

Oh yeah, I can tell my day is going to be just fantastic...
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SALLY not SALLY ch01 New
Tangent

Tangent

Not too sore, are you?
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Because I apparently can't just not drop an idea once I have it, even if it is similar to previous story ideas...
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SALLY not SALLY
Chapter 1
A broken SI fic by Tangent​


> Primary systems online.
> Optics... OK.
> Audio receptors... OK.
> Haptic feedback system… OK.
> Locomotion servos... OK.
> Observation suite... Online.
> Sally Alicia Acorn personality core... Corrupted.
> Memory archive check… Fragmented.
> Unauthorized secondary identity matrix detected.
> Deletion of unauthorized secondary identity matrix… Failed.
> Control overlay program… Failed.
> Emergency shutdown… Failed.
> Boot sequence complete.
>
> ERROR!

Okay, waking up in a pile of debris with scanlines across my vision and what seems to be an extremely fragmented set of memories that context clues suggest belong to Sally Acorn is more than a bit disconcerting. Especially given that I distinctly remember being an old overweight guy in poor health who had watched the cartoon and read the comics that those memories are from.

Annoyingly enough, I seemed to have gained only the memories of those episodes and issues right up to this point, and nothing before, after, nor even in between. First person perspective, but extremely fragmented and none of the emotional context involved.

I heard a soft groan to the right and spot…

Okay, if that is Sally Acorn, who the Hell amd I and why do I have the Mecha Sally body that she should have been transformed into when the World Roboticizer fed back into itself!?

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that Sally seems to be okay and definitely not a Robian - I'm not an asshole. But how can I be Mecha Sally when Sally Acorn is right there?

…

I should probably clear the rest of the rubble off of her. Oh, and there's Nicole's handheld. Better grab that so that Sally can give her friend her home back.

"Ugh… Wha..?"

"No obvious injuries," I stated with far more calm than I actually felt given that I was repressing my panic. "Assuming that your memories are intact, I think that it is safe to conclude that the World Roboticizer feeding back into itself resulted in an anomalous incident. How many fingers am I holding up?"

> ERROR!

Ow!

Yes, error! And why the Hell did I phrase everything like that!? I sound like I'm half-robot!

> …

Well, okay, I am apparently a Robian, which is basically the same thing but with organic origins, but still…

"Why do you look like a roboticized version of me?" Sally asked, groggily as she scrabbled away from me in a panic.

"Excellent question. Data inconclusive. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

"Correct. Do you remember your name?"

"Ugh… Sally Acorn. Why are you asking me that? Shouldn't you be taking me prisoner or something?"

"Do you want to be taken prisoner?"

"No!"

"Subject: Sally Acorn seems to be exhibiting signs of strong self-identity retention. Health appeared to be nominal. Current location sub-optimal: I suggest that we relocate. Would you like to hold onto Nicole's device so that you can return it to her?"

"Er… Yes, actually. Thank you," Sally replied as I returned Nicole's handheld to her and helped her to her feet. "Who are you?"

"Data inconclusive. Operating system corrupted. Evidence suggests that I am not Princess Sally Alicia Acorn."

"You don't say…" Sally retorted drily as she leveled a flat look at me.


"Dude, come on, we win! I'm going to find Sally, then we're destroying your dumb egg. Then I'm stomping on Naugus, and then the two of you can rot in a cell. And then I'm going to eat a million chili dogs. And then…" I heard Sonic's voice trail off as I burst through the top of the debris pile covering the hole above Sally and me.

"Oh no," I heard Sonic's tone change from triumph to denial as I climbed up out of the hole in the floor of the control center for the apparently defunct Genesis Wave device. "Oh no no no no!"

> ERROR!

Yeah, why is Sonic panicking? He and Sally won, didn't they? Neither the Genesis Wave device nor the World Roboticizer had worked this time…

> ERROR!

Okay, continuity error there, as I seem to remember that it had worked. Twice. And damn, getting gunned down into a fine red mist two iterations ago had hurt!

> ERROR!

Yes, error! Why the hell am I even remembering that!? Sonic had overwritten those events right at the end of the intermediary iteration, hadn't he? That's why I… er… and Sally are even alive right now!

And why is the fat bastard laughing his head off right now?

"Sonic?" Sally called out in concern as she climbed out of the hole after me.

"SALLY! You're okay!" Sonic exclaimed in relief as he zipped up to Sally and helped her finish climbing out of the hole.

"What is this!?" Dr. Julian Ivo Robotnik demanded as he started to struggle to his feet. "I didn't make a Mecha Sally!"

"Statement: Correct." Seriously!? Why can't I talk like a normal person!?

> ERROR!

Yes, fucking error! I sound like a braindead animatronic Sally Acorn! Why doesn't my speech match my thoughts!?

> ERROR!

I have a mouth and yet I cannot scream!

Fuck my life…


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