Seven Colours (Naruto)

Planeshunter · Dec 25, 2021

As I find myself working on chapter 7 for this story, I decided to take out of my snippets thread make a dedicated one for it. Assuming all goes to plan, this story ends right after the time of the Suna/Sound invasion of Konoha. NSFW would go in a potential theorical sequel, again assuming we ever get that far.

001 - Isekai Tensei (Reincarnated in another world)

I was named Shimada Ran at birth.

At first, it was all very confusing. I’m sure you can imagine, waking up from a slumber you don’t remember taking to find yourself somewhere warm and dark. I can’t speak for every unborn baby out there, but I for one felt safe and comfortable.

Then the spasms began, and I was slowly but surely ripped from my safe place, into a cold and unforgiving world. Suddenly light hurt my eyes, still incapable of proper sight. Suddenly noise was all the sharper and unpleasant. Suddenly I was required to breathe to remain alive.

Honestly, I have no idea how anyone does this the first time. I mean, I remembered what it was to breathe and everything and it took me a couple of false starts, but how’s the tabula rasa that’s a normal newborn supposed to do it?

Figuring out what was going out around me was another small victory. My eyes couldn’t pick up images beyond blurs of colour, and my ears didn’t have the precision to pinpoint specific words for a while.

I’ll admit the idea to count the solar cycles to have some awareness of the passage of time didn’t occur to me for a while. So I can only say it was some confusing blur of time and a month before I recognised the language: Japanese.

It wasn’t a language I was ever fluent in my last life, but knew enough to identify some of the simpler sentences. It was a great advantage to learn the rest. Still took a while.

Along the way, I picked some keywords that sent a shiver down my spine. Words like 'Chakra', 'Konoha' or 'Kyuubi-no-Youko’. The first one might’ve been a coincidence, but the other two were a dead giveaway, I was in some part of the Elemental Nations, from the story of Naruto.

Ehm… yeah, maybe it’s a bit late to mention it, but Shimada Ran wasn’t the first name I ever carried. I was born with memories from my last life. Like reading a certain manga by the name 'Naruto'. And watching the anime, and the OVAs, and reading the novels.

Well, I don’t remember how I died. Or how I lived while we’re at it. More like just… knowledge. Both general and specific knowledge I’m fairly sure a newborn baby shouldn’t have.

How did it happen you ask? Why the hell should I know?

No, seriously, I have no idea.

I only know I used to be someone else, and now I’m not. And I was born at some point in between. For the second time.

I won’t lie, I was more than a bit thrilled when I finally accepted reality (Watching first hand a Kusa forehead protector really helped with that), and hurried to quickly recap everything I knew about the story I had been so conveniently shoved into.

Making a tentative timeline took more time that I would’ve liked, since Kusa wasn’t connected to many incidents I could use as reference, but someone finally let slip how my grandfather had died during the Kyuubi invasion of Konoha (and what the heck was a Kusa-nin doing there I wondered). A couple of months before I was born.

Unfortunately, there was little I knew about this particular village, beyond their Blood Prison, all the shit happening to them during the Chunin Exams in Konoha and being the supposedly birthplace of the S-Rank criminal Zetsu (How does that even work? I know where Zetsu actually comes from.)

Oh, and some super-weapon or another, don’t remember that part very well.

I only hope whatever time Zetsu spent here is already over. Because I seem to remember charges of cannibalism being somehow involved.

Anyway, the only thing worth remembering about this place in particular is Uzumaki Karin. Lost, shy and abused Karin, who was viewed more like a walking first-aid kit than a real person and grew alone and sad in a place that never really accepted her.

That her escape landed her into Orochimaru’s hands for another handful of years didn’t really improve her situation, nor helped her personality. She ended up turning into a manipulative bitch with a rowdy character and hair trigger temper. The worst of Sakura and Naruto put together into a single person… yikes.

At that point, I had to chastise myself for getting my head in the clouds. What did it matter to me whether she was happy or not? It was not my freaking problem!

As often happens in stories about being reborn in your favourite manga world, I was letting my fangirl mentality get in the way of cold, hard facts. I didn’t want to join the shinobi world. It’s a cruel and dark place of shadows and deceit, where puppeteers pull the strings of the unaware, only to be manipulated by the puppet masters behind them, all of them ignoring even the existence of the real masterminds, who lay hidden underneath the underneath.

And death, and carnage. A lot of ninja carnage.

Yeah, in this world, it’s kill or be killed.

So I would go civilian. Yup. Bombing any test they send my way and raising hell as required so my opinions on my future weren't ignored. Yup, I would be a stupid civilian with nothing to do with all that crap.

I might offer to play with Karin if I met her in the park or something, but that was all. No dangerous shinobi life for me, no siree! No matter how cool it looks in the anime.

Life as a baby is as frustrating as it is interesting. I’m always either restless or asleep, and I’m growing so fast my entire body constantly aches. The last one caught me by surprise. I mean, I vaguely remember growth pains being somewhat frequent during puberty, but would’ve never thought it also applied to the phase of our lives when our bodies develop the fastest. Silly me.

Being asleep more than half the time doesn’t bother me too much. For what I can remember, I was pretty laid back in my last life, the sort that allows things to happen and acts mainly reactively. The restless waking time was what really got to me.

A baby’s mind is something marvellous. Dunno if it’s hormones or what, never been big on medicine, but my brain is always in overload. What should’ve been mind-boggling hours of doing nothing but eating, burping, pooping and staring at the ceiling somehow managing to become interesting.

My mind refused to sit idly, a thousand thoughts crossing it per minute, and every little nuisance became somehow a challenge impossible to ignore. I remember one occasion when I took my lack of precise eyesight as a personal offense and spent three hours squinting at the mobile toy hanging above my cradle.

I’m pretty sure half the shapes were stars, but whatever the elongated rhombus was supposed to be, I had no idea. It was all a rather dull grey tone anyway, it was difficult for my baby eyes to tell each shape apart from the others.

At the same time, my mind restlessly worked out with the information it had, and heavens but I would’ve killed for a pen and paper. Both sorting out my last life’s knowledge in an attempt to figure out who I was and how to shamelessly take advantage of my foreknowledge.

On one hand, I’m pretty sure I was either some sort of legal consultant in the anime industry or a government worker otaku. My general knowledge was all over the place, but I knew a shitload about manga and anime, including inner workings of the business, and had a lot of experience trudging through law texts. I mean, I could also be an otaku lawyer or judge but… let’s be realists here.

Also I was investing in the Gato Company ASAP, I only had around twelve years to see my investment grow before it all collapsed. Then it would be time to invest in Wave Country imports and the construction business, that last part double underlined for the time I was fifteen, in preparation for the complete demolition of Konoha.

See? My brain became an evil genius without asking. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have thought about half that in my last life.

I’m guessing a normal baby would waste this brainpower and motivation surge… well, learning the basics. I already had that down to pat. Only the stupid language got in my way, but not for long.

Granted, it would be easier if Mother talked a bit more with me, or I was taken to social situations regularly, but what can you do. While I’m at it, I might as well ask for my mouth and vocal chords to hurry up and develop so I could practise, but that’s something I cannot help beyond periodically making ridiculously cute gurgling sounds in an attempt to produce real words.

Time has passed, and things have developed notably. And not necessarily in a direction I like.

For once, I can make some pale imitation of talking, which includes disconnected short words, unconjugated verbs and abusing the word ‘Mama’. That’s good.

I’m also officially a toddler, which is good too.

Problem is, while I’m no expert in babies (I’m fairly sure I never had my own, or even took care of a little brother while we’re at it), even I can tell it’s way too soon.

Mother talks to me more often now that I try and imitate the words she says, but there’s still not many social situations. Nor a Father, now that I think about it. Or service, grandparents, uncles, cousins or anything. It’s a bit unsettling.

Speaking of unsettling, I’m pretty sure Mother is a shinobi and has every intention of having me follow in her footsteps. Even worse, every time she looks me in the eye with that stupidly piercing stare of hers all my resolve to fight that outcome curls in a corner to cry.

Also I can finally make out the mobile over my cradle. The dull grey thingies are kunai and shuriken. The fuck?

Mother is really pretty in a sharp and lethal way. Her hair is yellowish-orange with reddish streaks, really pretty and unique, She lets it hang loose to her shoulders when she’s home, but when we have people over she reins her bangs with hairpins and gathers the bulk of it into a pretty bun on her nape. It’s really pretty and professional.

Her eyes are stupidly piercing. They are yellow and have slanted pupils that remind me of Orochimaru. Sometimes, when she forgets to smile, her stare feels like she can see through your soul by virtue of disassembling you piece by piece and discarding you into a corner after studying each and every single one to the point of boredom before staring a hole into your spirit. It’s kind of a very specific sensation. Yeah.

If I inherit nothing else from her, I want her eyes.

Today was my third birthday and Mother told me about the Shimada family history. We’re not that numerous or influential, but we’re well known here in Grass. We are famous for being… well, kind of nitpicky overachievers. Every single Shimada is expected and supposedly predisposed to excel.

For instance, we don’t have a long tradition as Shinobi, but both Mother and Great-Grandad are both hailed as ‘ridiculously strong’.

Yeah, Mother isn’t really that big in humility, that’s not the thing she excels in.

She also kind of offhandedly insinuated she wouldn’t be disappointed if I didn’t choose to follow her career. Guess she’s picked up my reluctance, but doesn’t sound too happy about it.

Mother is not very good at talking about herself, but she regaled me with tales of Great-Grandfather. He lived during the times where the Hidden Villages were first founded, and was nicknamed the ‘Smoke Knight’ because he barely even used anything outside the basic we now know as the Academy three, which put a fair deal of smoke in his fights.

Unless he didn’t want to, then he bunshined without a speck of dust.

Then again he was also known for being able to use [Kawarimi (Substitution)] to switch the air between his fingers with an enemy’s heart. That, guys and gals, takes finesse, and is as lethal as a [Chidori]. Sometimes even more, you can survive that shit if you’re lucky or have good reflexes, only a true monster can walk away after his heart simply pops away from his chest.

No, I know what you’re thinking, but Great-Grandfather didn’t die against a monster (Not even Kakuzu no matter how much he matches my comments), he retired once his skills began deteriorating and died in his bed, satisfied after spending his last years criticising the ‘younger generations’ to his heart's content. We Shimada know when we’re getting too old to walk on the edge. We also apparently get insufferable in our old age, but meh. That’s for us to enjoy and others to suffer…

Mother really lucked out with Grandpa. Grandpa chose to become a merchant and is still going strong. A merchant never retires, in his own words so, in spite of being as cranky as any other aged Shimada, we only see him for a couple of weeks a year, when his caravan passes through Kusa. That reminds me Mother is bound to eventually retire too... Actually, that’s plain scary. I don’t think I want to think about it anymore until… ever.

Yeah, I might become a nukenin at some point, if only to dump that particular punishment on somebody else.

But I’m digressing. The story of the Shimada family. We are born to excel, and it’s apparently in our very genes. We are stubborn and driven and can’t take it easy for our lives’ worth. No, seriously, there’s a tale about one of our ancestors dying because he was incapable of taking a medical break.

It’s a Kekkei Genkai of sorts. We grow restless when inactive either physically or mentally, and anything we perceive as a challenge has a good chance of becoming an obsession. Our family teachings devote a lot to time management and work ethic that can only help our obsessions to bear fruit.

We usually don’t make many friends, unless that’s what we get fixated with.

This clan of mine reminds me of the Superbi Famiglia from Black Sky(1).

Also, remember that newborn mental boon I talked about some years ago? It never faded. It’s either part of my new bloodline or I was born as a genius this time around, because I sure as hell wasn’t like this in my last life.

I also know now about Father. He became a Missing Nin soon after I was conceived and unfortunately didn’t survive the Hunter Nin sent after him. Mother doesn’t like talking about him very much, and I’m never sure whether that’s because he defected or because he had the gall of failing at it.

I get a lot of my appearance from him though, with grey and unassuming eyes and dull brown hair. I don’t mind the hair all that much, but I’m really disappointed with my eyes. Damnit genes, you had one job!

Hopefully Father’s choices in life won’t burden me too heavily, he’s a traitor but he wasn’t a Shimada and I am, and that’s supposed to carry weight. Hopefully he has more family that’s happily loyal to the village, to hopefully further mitigate his actions.

Ugh… stupid overactive brain, old me wouldn’t have even noticed this potential problem.

And now I’m thinking up countermeasures, damnit all this shit three times over!

I can’t wait for puberty.

…

That was sarcasm.

(1) Black Sky is a Harry Potter/Katekyo Hitman Reborn crossover by Umei no Mai, one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Been on hiatus for a long while, unfortunately, but has a shitload of content already.

Planeshunter · Dec 25, 2021

002 - Shinobi Academy (because why the frick not)

At seven years old, I’m thrown into Grass’ Shinobi Academy. Because why the frick no.

Actually, there are solid reasons.

It is the friggin’ best education one can aspire to in this village. The curriculum includes a lot of geography and history, on top of Japanese Language (That I could stand to polish a bit, but I'm probably way above the class cut), Maths and Physics (That I could probably beat with my eyes bandaged, a hand tied at my back and a wet noodle as my only weapon) and also Chemistry and Biology (That I looked forward to, not much previous knowledge on those fields).

As the school years advances the Shinobi training and physical conditioning becomes more and more important, but I plan on bombing those, so whatever.

It also has mighty advantages like around the clock childcare services for active shinobi and, let’s be honest here, Mother missed being active something fierce. She never got around explaining all the single mother routine, or why I grew up so isolated, but since prospective mothers are forcefully pulled out of the active roster at least for the three last months of pregnancy that means nearly eight years since her last mission.

By now I know enough about our family to imagine how much that would’ve grated her, taking care of her daughter or not, she was giving up her true calling.

That said, I’m pretty sure Mother has ulterior motives, like hoping the Academy brainwash will make me consider the shinobi career. Heh, fat chance.

....

Actually, I lied, there are some private tutors around that are considered even better than the Academy in their respective fields, but I’ll cut my arm and eat it if Mother doesn’t employ one or three of them on top of everything else.

Fan-freakin’-tastic.

Wew, it’s been a long and amusing seven years, but it’s finally time to face the music. Taking a deep breath to prepare myself, I steel my resolve and stop procrastinating. I open the classroom door with firm movements, resolved to face whatever awaits me inside with Shimada pride and… find it empty.

The heck?

Okay, it’s half an hour too soon, but I can’t be the only one here who thinks it’s better to come early than late and taking this Academy thing seriously. I mean, things are done properly or not done at all, right? Also maybe I’ve been wasting time at the door for at least fifteen minutes and find it a bit hard to put what time really is into perspective.

Actually, scratch that. I remember very clearly being a chronic procrastinator, where did those thoughts come from?

…

…

Stupid Shimada blood.

With a sigh and a shrug, I pick a seat in the first row and pull the World History book. When we bought the textbooks, Mother locked them under key and chain until this very morning, in what I suspect was less an attempt to keep me away from them and more a challenge for me to try and get the necessary skills to break into the cupboard and steal them.

There were also cookies and toys in that locker.

The Locked Locker was mighty suspicious, but I managed to hold back my curiosity. Childish baits like those could hardly ensnare me. No. Matter. How. Much. I. Wanted. Those. Cookies.

Forget that, History book, History book.

I opened the book and immersed myself on it for… about three minutes. Then I reached into my bag to grab a dictionary. Stupid Kanji..

Then I immersed myself in it for about… five minutes. Then I reached into my bag to grab a notebook and a pencil, barely holding my laughter. Dear sweet Akasha the bias is so obvious it hurts! Granted, this is a text for seven years old, but dude, seriously?

There and then my bad habit of writing down in a notebook all the blatant lies I come across was born.

Why don’t I underline the textbook instead, you ask? You don’t write in a book, you damn heretic!

A very hard to ignore bell snatches my attention away from the book and towards the teacher that has somehow materialized in front of the blackboard. Actually, a bunch of brats and a lot of noise have somehow appeared all around me without me noticing, when the hell did this happen?

-”Welcome to your first day in the Academy” -Greets the teacher with a wide smile that somehow doesn’t really inspire confidence or respect- “I am Narutaki Yuuto, but you may call me Narutaki-sensei or simply Sensei.”

Then he starts his boring and predictable introductory diatribe.

A newbie, insecure and tense, probably as likely to snap against the first person who questions his authority as he is to allow us far too much freedom, depending on what happens first and sets the whole student-sensei mechanic. Whoever asks the first question will probably be set for life as either the teacher’s pet or the default to-go student to blame, depending on whether he was comfortable answering or not.

It would probably be a safe bet to—

I’m analysing his demeanor before even noticing what’s going on. I’ve never paid any attention to more or less random and unimportant people in my life before and here I am weighing the pros and cons of giving sensei a bad time!

Stupid Shimada blood.

-”Yes, well, I wanted to know how come we have an Academy at all?” -Wait, what’s going on? What the heck am I asking? Why the heck was my hand risen?- “I mean, Sandaime Hokage ‘The Professor’ was who implemented the system and I doubt he went around sharing the wealth.”

Stupid Shimada blood.

Fortunately Sensei smiles, it seems it was a safe question.

-”Well, Shimada-san, that is a very interesting question!” -He turns towards the blackboard, where he writes up the words ‘Kannabi Concordat’- “As you all should know, while we aren’t at war with any other village right now, our only real ally is Konoha. It all began with the Kannabi Concordat during the Third Shinobi War, where we offered free passage and indirect support in their war effort against Iwa. In return, we became minor allies. We couldn’t be declared war against unless we acted aggressively first, and a portion of their missions would go to us if our income ever became precarious.”

That sounds like we did nothing and earned a terrible lot of things in return. Sharing missions isn’t exactly a small deal either, it was precisely the lack of sharing missions that pushed Suna over the edge and made them join forces with Orochimaru to betray Konoha. That or Orochimaru somehow blackmailed the Kazekage, but if that’s the case it never made it into the manga

So, more Kusa bias. Sweet Akasha, it’s only the first lesson on the first day and I’ve already lost all my faith in the system.

Also he’s taking his sweet time to get to the point, guess that means he liked the question, and I’m finding all this really interesting, but I asked about the Academy System, not the peace treaty with Konoha. Also, my classmates are looking at me funny, because I was the one who asked the question and they don’t seem to find it as interesting as I do.

I mean, apparently at some point we sold tax rights on a bridge in the border for a cart of sea salt. Well, technically it was the Daimyo's third cousin or something who did it, so it wasn’t exactly us being stupid, but we got blamed anyway. Lesson for next time? When a noble is about to close a really bad deal, assassinate him, that way you’ll at least get blamed for something you actually did, and your country will keep its taxing rights.

-”Anyway, as opposed to the pale imitations attempted by Kiri and Kumo, Suna and Kusa got the proper system invented by the Third Hokage handed to us by our allies of the Leaf.”

He’s very suspiciously neglecting to mention our Academy doesn’t have Fifth years yet, it’s just that new. That means it took four years since our alliance with Konoha until their system was put into place here. A very reasonable time margin, even expeditive if you ask me, but still something that should be brought to attention as it’s relevant to anyone trying to put this knowledge to use.

…

I steal a glance at the blatantly asleep girl at my left and the brat picking his nose at my right.

Actually, keeping it simple is probably for the best. I’m supposed to be seven years old, and the rest of my classmates very blatantly are. This is probably too advanced for our supposed level.

I comfortably spent the rest of History class copying down all the blatant bias and trying to figure out what had really happened. Often the disinformation was very obvious, simply neglecting to bring up a part of the tale that was kind of necessary to see the whole picture, or an exaggeration in numbers or other small details that looked right at a first glance but didn’t hold once you tried to do the math yourself. That was easy to pinpoint, even if I couldn’t always venture an alternate theory.

Other times the cover up was pretty extensive, and I had no way to venture what had actually gone on or even if there’d been a real cover at all and not simple negligence by the author. Educated guesses based on the little I knew about History and the Shinobi World could only go that far after all.

The rest of the day was predictably less interesting.

Language below my level, Maths way below my level and probably my favourite: Brainwashing 101, which was, more or less, telling us how cool shinobi were and how Grass was the best ninja village ever and we should always obey the Boss Dude because he was the best thing to happen to the world since the invention of peanut butter… Was peanut butter ever invented here in the Elemental Nations at all?

Boss Dude is the village leader. Between you and me, he has a real name, but I can’t repeat it correctly for my life’s worth. It’s a freaking tongue-twister. Whoever his parents were, they were real pricks. And then he went and became leader. Talk about overcompensating.

That was all for theory classes anyway, then we had our physicals. Everything was harmless-looking enough, and I debated for a moment whether to boycott it or not. In the end, I decided to take it seriously so far it wasn’t obviously shinobi-related, all the while feeling like I was walking right into a trap. Mother’s or the Academy System’s, I couldn’t tell.

-”Oi, you the traitor’s brat, aren’t you?”

Oh, dear, here we go.

-”I’m Shimada Ran,” -I answer lazily, flipping the page of my book but not really looking up- “And, as far as I’m aware, Mother has never betrayed Grass. Not that anyone would notice if she ever decided to try.”

Mother is just that good.

-”Don’t get all smarty with me!” -A pale hand snatches my book, and I hold back a sigh at the dramatics- “That embarrassment you call father abandoned the village with valuable information and shamed our whole clan!”

I finally look up and almost have a panic attack when I confuse the eyes glaring daggers at me for the [Rinnegan]. But no, there aren’t enough circles, and even if grey coloured, they’re rather silvery instead of the darker hues from those other eyes only Nagato should have at this point in time.

Silver hair and pale skin with a wiry constitution that’s already burnt out all baby fat and then some. Her face somehow reminds me of Father’s photos, I guess we’re second cousins or something like that.

-”The Haizuki Clan was shamed by that man” -I point out, as calmly as I can after the scare- “Mother divorced him the moment his betrayal became known and we Shimada have had nothing to do with him ever since.”

As mentioned before, I’m pretty sure Mother was disappointed about the fact he got caught at all and later successfully hunted down and executed, rather than any betrayal he might or might not have committed in the first place.

The girl in front of me is fuming, and I can only conclude she expected me to just keel over at the insult. To be fair, that’s what most seven years old would’ve done when confronted with something like this about their parents. This or start a fight, but that clearly hadn’t crossed her mind.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t care less. Heck I respected Mother as a person, because it was kind of hard not to, and for taking care of me for seven years. The fact she’d birthed me, on the other hand, wasn’t really a factor in my mind. A father who I’ve never seen and whose only contribution to my existence was half a DNA sample wasn’t someone I would waste a thought on.

Wow, I’m such a bitch.

The girl hesitates for a moment, looking sideways for support to the guy accompanying her, and for a moment I dare hope she’ll let it go. But then someone snickers in the background and ‘righteous indignation’ comes back with a vengeance.

-”Are you looking for a fight, huh!?” -Talk about cliched reaction- “I’ll show you what a real Haizuki can do!””

-”Ryūzetsu” -The guy puts a hand on her shoulder and I have to hide a frown, that name sounds familiar- “Let’s not get in trouble, okay?”

-”Look sister” -I start, quickly getting fed up with this whole situation- “I have nothing against the Haizuki clan as a whole, but your private business has nothing to do with me. If you want to hate that man that’s your privilege, I’m just disappointed with him. Now please return me my book, would you kindly?”

-”Yeah, let’s go Muku, she’s not worth our time.”

Of course, she tries to throw the book at my face instead of properly returning it, but I absently catch it mid-flight and go back to reading without missing a beat. Exactly on the page I was on before being so rudely interrupted. I barely catch on the audience’s appreciative noises, busy as I am marveling on it.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

003 - I’m Prodigious (As true as the Sky)

Arriving home after the classes, I softly close the door behind me.

-”Mother, I’m back home.”

My words are spoken in a conversational tone towards the empty hallway. Any other girl my age would have yelled those same words, probably while throwing her shoes wherever they landed and running towards the kitchen or something. Then again, they would be real seven year old kids.

-”Welcome back, Ran” -Mother appears a few steps in front of me out of nowhere in the blink of an eye- “How was your first day?”

Also, I don’t need to yell for Mother to hear me from anywhere in the house.

-”Interesting, if a bit disappointing” -I absently begin taking off my shoes, even this is done with subconscious elegance. Stupid Shimada Blood- “Math is painfully basic and I could use more level in my Language Classes too. World History was blatantly biased, but it was interesting to try and poke at the holes in the narrative. Would it be possible at all to acquire History Books written in a different country to compare?”

-”I’m sure something can be arranged,” -That causes a rare smile to appear in Mother’s lips- “as long as I can expect appropriate discretion and nobody forgets what the official story is during the tests.”

-”I’m sure something can be arranged,” -I answer petulantly. I’m a kid, I’m allowed to- “Physical lessons were satisfactory, I guess, and I got a feeling Brainwashing 101 will only be good for shredding and feeding it to some nondescript porcine creature. I also got into an argument about that man.”

Mother raises an amused eyebrow at ‘Brainwashing 101’, clearly understanding what I meant, but the mention of an argument makes her forget whatever comment she was about to make.

-”They gave you any trouble?”

-”They didn’t even try very hard” -I answer dismissively- “Just some niece of that man kicking a bit of a fuss, this Muku boy calmed her down before it escalated further.”

I don’t mention how close the girl was to getting handsy with me, I don’t want to see the Haizuki Compound going down in flames, thank you very much.

-”I didn’t expect any Haizuki in my age group?” -I ask instead of giving her time to make any bigger deal of the matter- “It was a big surprise to find family there.”

-”I never told you much about the Haizuki Clan.” -Mother’s pokerface is solid, but there’s a distinct teasing undertone- “I would’ve very much preferred you to be your own person before deciding how you want to interact with them.”

Understandable, since a traitor to the village was my only link to them. Judging by her behaviour the Clan as a whole didn’t hold a hostile disposition towards me. I mean, there still exists a Haizuki clan, so they obviously hadn’t aggravated Mother too badly yet. But she didn’t trust a supposedly vulnerable and malleable child around them either so… so what? If Mother doesn’t feel forthcoming, I have no way of knowing, really.

And more importantly.

-”I fail to see how that leads to me running blind into a cousin in a perfectly controlled and predictable scenario.”

-”Maybe I wanted to judge by myself whether you were your own person already.”

So throw your cub down the cliff and see how she fares, how very feline of you, Mother. I’m about to let out a passive-aggressive retort when I notice the amused smile tugging her lips upward and the hint of anticipation on her eyes, she wants an argument. Then I notice I wouldn’t have usually noticed that.

Stupid Shimada blood.

-”And was I up to standards?” -I refuse to raise to such obvious bait, thank you very much- “If I’m going to somehow end up in a Clan social event, I would very much like to know in advance.”

-”Ran, that sounds suspiciously like a petulant question.” -She says instead, smile finally escaping her control. What’s wrong with today? Is it Mother Smiles Day or something?- “Come inside now, your lunch is waiting. This afternoon we’ll go over the basics of sparring, see if you can get a bit of an edge over other students.”

That and today is probably the last day she’ll be here in the afternoons, tomorrow she starts taking missions. Still, learning how to properly spar from Mother seems like an S-Ranked mission all by itself…

During the evening, in-between Mother pounding sparring basics into my head, I finally realize why the names Ryūzetsu and Muku are familiar. They starred in that Blood Prison movie, the one with that Superweapon thingie I don’t remember too well and are kind of the most relevant characters from Grass in the story, barring Karin.

One would’ve guessed recognising them would refresh my memory, but no such luck. Whatever new retentive abilities I earned in this lifetime doesn’t seem to translate into a better recollection of my past one.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Of course, by the end of the session I’m battered and bruised and Mother hasn’t even broken a sweat.

-”You got a bit carried away here.” -Mother says, pointing at a nasty bruise in my left side from when I overextended dumbly and paid for it. Mother doesn’t take kindly to Dumb- “Everything else should be healed by the morning though, we Shimada heal fast.”

Stupid Shimada blood

I grumble something non-committal.

-”I expect you’ll remember today’s exercise and practice by yourself from now on. I’ll leave a training program on the fridge designed to complement the Academy work.” -Then she puts a hand on her hip, taking her time to scan me with an evaluative stare- “I can do nothing about ‘Brainwashing 101’, but keep up in Maths and Language for now. If you still find it boring in a month, I’ll arrange something to get you more advanced lessons.”

There’s a hint of amusement and something else that I don’t dare assume is pride in her eyes. I’m guessing Brainwashing 101 will become an official name in this household and that… yeah, I’m not sure what to think about the other, I don’t want to get ahead of myself.

-”I was thinking of making omurice(1) for dinner tonight.” -She announces abruptly, turning around to get back inside the building- “It’s still your favourite, right?”

Yeah, it’s still very much my favourite.

And seems like Mother is proud of me after all, huh.

It’s in moments like this that I realize how lucky I got in the Mother lottery when being reincarnated. She might be strict and stoic, and it’s hard to tell what she’s thinking at any given time, but she deserves the’ #1 Mom’ mug three times over.

My Stupid Shimada blood may unnerve me to no end, but at times like this I can’t help thinking it’s all worth it.

…

I’ll have to find a potter that scribes personalized messages in mugs and a suitable excuse to give Mother gifts.

I got another frustrating realization during the second day in the Academy. Every time I tried to relax and let my mind wander, a process I’m familiar enough with to assume was a favourite pastime of mine during my last life, my senses sharpened and I became restless.

Sensei’s voice gradually stopped becoming the monotonous stream of uninteresting blabber I cared nothing about and every single word became clear and impossible to ignore. I could force myself to ignore him in spite of that, but it was an exhausting mental exercise that kind of killed the whole purpose of letting your mind wander in the first place.

Almost sounds like some kind of genetic quirk.

...

Stupid Shimada blood.

Speaking of that, all my bruises from sparring did indeed vanish during the night, except for the big one on my side. Even that one is looking much better. I am ever so pleased about the particulars of the Shimada blood being known only in the family.

I can feel the expectations of the entire village on me just from imagining them knowing.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Incidentally, by the time the bell marks the recess, I’ve decided Haizuki Ryūzetsu isn’t cute at all. She’s spent the whole morning giving me the stink eye. Muku, on the other hand, was cute enough for the both of them.

If I ever need to lower myself to their level, I’ll use that to taunt them. No boy likes to be called cute, and no girl wants her cuteness to be unfavorable compared with her male friend.

Or so I hear, anyway.

-”You aren’t cute at all, Haizuki-san. Please ask Muku for lessons.”

Oops, I said that out loud. Well, nothing to be done now, and it’s not like she didn’t get on my nerves with that obsessive fixation on me. at least I’ll test my theory. Judging by the rapidly reddening tone of both their faces, it’s working.

Giving Ryūzetsu the cold treatment while being overly familiar with her friend probably was a low blow, and I did it without even thinking.

Bloody Shimada blood.

-”Mother insists I get to know your side of the family” -I cut before she starts spluttering what counts as profanities for seven-year-olds, producing a letter from an inner pocket- “Could you please give this to your mother at your earliest convenience?”

She puts on her best indignated face, but takes the letter (more like rips it from my hand) and stomps away without a word. Muku hurries to follow her and I know that letter will never reach her mother. Well, nobody can accuse me of not trying now.

All according to plan.

It’s been a month since Academy began, and I’m at home, sitting in front of a Math test trying to figure out how much I can get away with knowing. The number of questions on the sheet is absurd, as Mother has insisted I get tested on everything. That means she’ll probably know if I underperform.

She’ll understand, misdirection is pretty standard in the shinobi world, reflexive even. But the point of me doing this is to stop being bored to tears in the classroom, so getting mislabeled here won’t really achieve jackshit.

And Mother will probably be disappointed.

Welp, that decides it, doesn’t it?

Readying my pen, I mentally prepare myself for three to five hours of gradually harder math problems.

And then I still have to do my Language Proficiency test, oh joy.

-”Hey deadeyes! I heard you need special Math and Language lessons!” -Deadeyes is Ryūzetsu’s, rather unimaginative, moniker for me- “Guess you’re not at the level of a real Haizuki!”

Ryūzetsu has taken a rather aggressive position against me, but things have never gone beyond words until now. Even if, sometimes, it seems that Muku’s presence is the only thing that prevents escalation.

I remain unsure if there’s any real animosity or this is one of those ‘rivalry’ things between kids. To make things worse, I seem incapable of holding my tongue around her. Funny, because I’m pretty quiet around everyone else.

Truth be told, everyone else is smart enough to leave me alone after the first scathing retort, while Ryūzetsu doesn’t seem to catch a clue and keeps coming for more.

I guess with my rather plain appearance, there aren't many names that can realistically be used against me. Rather my lack of remarkable features is the only remarkable thing about me. Heck, even my silvery-grey eyes, lacking the concentric rings sported by the main Haizuki line, aren’t all that striking.

If you add my emotional range, slightly below that of a teaspoon, I guess Deadeyes is kind of exactly the right name for me. Not that I care for childish name-calling or anything.

No, really, I couldn’t care less.

I’m not going to develop a complex anytime soon.

Promise.

-”That seems to be the case, Haizuki-san” -I answer with a smile. Now, how to mop the floor with her pride today?- “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be able to join me in the differential calculus lessons soon enough, provided you devote some effort.”

Turns out my Maths are already post-Academy. I was offered the option to dedicate my Math hours to different lessons or to pursue higher studies in the field. I chose to join the specialised lessons for the Cryptanalysis Team aspirants. It’s proven to be quite a challenge, and I’m not sure how useful it’ll be down the line, but it’s a bit late for regrets.

Fortunately for my sanity, I wasn’t that advanced in Japanese Language and I’ll simply be taking fourth year lessons. Still, I wonder what’ll happen in a couple of years, when I finish the Academy curriculum in this subject too.

On top of whatever my studies were in my last life and my foreknowledge, my memory and problem-solving capabilities are naturally high. Somehow I can only see that as even more trouble down the road.

Stupid Shimada blood, I’m too prodigious.

In the end I got saddled with two home tutors, who more or less double as babysitters during the evenings and more often than not staying during the night. Can’t be helped though, Mother retook active duty with a vengeance, and she’s rarely home more than a few hours at a time. Beats the 24/7 Academy nursery anyway.

The rare evening she stays home (probably compulsory home rest of some sort, if I know her) tutors are excused for the day instead, and we spend quality time together. In this household, that means sparring, discussing hypothetical mission execution and learning the family justus (read: insane jutsus Mother invented herself).

It’s still interesting and cool as heck, but sometimes I wonder how Mother would’ve fared raising a regular, non-reincarnated child.

It would’ve probably been a disaster.

Mother left up to me what kind of personal lessons I wanted, and I was tempted to say ‘Candy Making’ and ‘International Marketing’ just to see her face. And maybe try to release my own line of sweets under the name ‘Willy Wonka’.

Still, I couldn’t resist a challenge and picked the hardest subjects I could find.

Stupid Shimada blood and stupid genetic competitiveness.

Katekyo A(2) is a nice old widower that was once married to Grass’ best sealing expert. She has a complicated name, so I call her Obaa-chan. ‘Best of Grass’ isn’t really saying much, but that’s more than enough for introductory lessons

Especially considering I waste days at a time writing down the same set of pencil strokes again and again and again and again. Can’t be helped though, prodigious or not, I’m no Uzumaki to miraculously understand seals just because, I need to go the traditional way.

Also, a lot of insistence in safety measures. As much as Obaa-chan smiles in front of us, she’s probably freaking out inside, and wondering what the hell was Mother thinking, teaching an art known for causing spontaneous explosions to a seven-year old.

Anyway, mastery through repetition.

It’s not a bad feeling, either. To devote all my focus to the repetitive, mechanical action for hours to end, losing myself in the task to the point of blinking in surprise when Obaa-chan lights a candle to counter the encroaching darkness and I finally realize it’s getting late and I’m running out of ink. All very zen.

Stupid Shimada blood is to blame… somehow.

Katekyo B is a cheerful young woman who always wears white and used to work as a pharmacist. There was some kind of trouble a couple of years ago and she lost her licence to work, but Mother trusts her to teach me chemistry, at least. She has a funny name I can’t say with a straight face, so I call her Nee-chan.

Uh… Chemistry back at the Academy is a bit basic for me too but, as opposed to Math, I don’t know everything, so I need to bear the lectures in order to fish out the useful parts. It won’t do to jump ahead only to find my foundations are full of holes.

Well, in my last life I probably wouldn’t have cared, but… Stupid Shimada blood.

Still, Nee-chan focuses on the practical parts, teaching me how to follow recipes, standard operating procedures, field lingo and other such things.

It’s funnier than it sounds, really. Nee-chan makes a game out of it.

At first I was frustrated with her insistence on treating me my age, but she’s as stubborn as I am and she’s teaching me anyway, so I gave up. It’s not like I absolutely hate playing around for a change, as long as it doesn’t interfere with my studies.

…

Stupid Shimada blood, I haven’t put studying before playing a single day in my (old) life.

Mother doesn’t even stop home for her birthday, and I’m a teensy bit disappointed. I leave the wrapped box with my present over the kitchen table anyway and it mysteriously disappears by morning. Nobody says anything, but from then on Mother starts using a ‘#1 Mom’ mug for anything she drinks at home.

And I mean anything. Sometimes it gets a bit ridiculous(3).

My first year in the Academy continues more or less in the same fashion. While I’m still good at understanding and pushing forward in my individual studies, nobody seemed overly surprised when my Math no longer progressed blindingly fast. They just assumed I had plateaued, which was close enough anyway, and didn’t push too hard.

Pretty much all my studies are ahead of the expectations. Except Brainwashing 101 where I have fun messing around the tests and only answering correctly the very minimum to not fail. And Physical Conditioning, because I’m still very much disinclined to become a shinobi, so I purposefully hold back.

Er… at home I keep the strict program Mother designed specially for me, I don’t have the heart to sabotage that.

…

Nor the death wish.

During the last months of the year, we are introduced to sparring during our Physical Conditioning time. As per usual, I don’t really give it my all. My opponent is the girl who sits beside me in the classroom, a serious and hard working girl that’s a bit socially awkward and whose name I’m pretty sure rhymes with Tangerine. I call her Shoujo A (4).

In my mind, of course.

She’s not in the best physical shape, and I can see her eyes widen in surprise when she finally manages to get me into a chokehold and I tap in defeat. Her expression is kind of amusing, so I don’t burst her bubble, congratulating her with a smile instead.

In my second match, the following week, a snotty brat I don’t remember at all is my opponent. I lose again without breaking a sweat. Thank you, thank you, I’m just that prodigious. When he opens his big mouth to brag about his victory, I stomp his foot and twist my heel left and right as painfully as I can manage.

His eyes tear up as he turns towards me with surprise and indignation written all over his face, but he notices my glare and seems to get the hint before saying anything, wisely choosing to shut the hell up and leave quietly.

Smart boy, I might not want to show off, but I won’t become bully bait either.

Inevitably, Mother learns of my ‘exploits’. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s easy to see the disappointment on her face. That kind of hurts, especially when we’re sitting at the table after one of those rare family dinners and she peers at me over her ‘#1 Mom’ mug while sipping her tea.

If she actually puts her worries into words, all my resolve will immediately crumble, but as long as it’s only stares, I can handle it somehow. More worrisome is the calculating glint that shines for a moment before she puts down her mug. That glint spells trouble.

For me, of course.

(1) Omurice - Omelet filled with rice and usually topped with ketchup. A dish popular with children in Japan, also a staple in maid cafés menu.
(2) Katekyo - Home tutor.
(3) In Japanese cultures, when eating soup and soup-like meals, it is customary to drink the broth after eating everything else. I’m sure you can see where this is going.
(4) Shoujo A - Girl A. Generic character in old video games often didn’t have a name, and were named in that fashion (Girl A, Girl B, Old Man A… etc.)

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

004 - How to end the year with a bang (and beat up people)

By the time my first year at the Academy was ending, I had fallen into a comfortable routine and couldn’t even remember what worried me so much in the first place. All in all, things were going well… I should’ve known it wouldn’t last.

Eyeing the official-looking envelope offered to me as if it was some sort of particularly nasty viper, I suppress the urge to sudder. Instead addressing the messenger -Muku- with my best icy demeanor. Honestly, my best isn’t all that good. Young girls don’t really have the necessary facial structure to make it work.

-”What’s this supposed to be?”

Muku smiles with that disarming apologetic smile of his. It gets on my last nerve, but I just can’t get angry at him when he does that.

-”It’s from Ryūzetsu’s mother, she was supposed to deliver it, but well… You know how she can get when it’s about you.”

-”Irrationally hostile and recklessly belligerent?”

I finish for him distractedly, carefully taking away the envelope and checking it for traps. Not that I know how to check envelopes for traps, just hoping for an excuse to delay the unavoidable. I really don’t want to open it.

-”I was... trying not to put it into words.”

-”... My apologies.” -Oh, look! I made the atmosphere uncomfortable!- “It’s kind of cute of her?”

Muku winces at my poorly thought words, and I struggle not to do the same. Yeah, not my best attempt.

-”Let’s… not let her hear that, if you would?”

I nod apologetically, what I suspect is a social bomb still held in my hand. I wonder if it’s too late to incinerate it with one of those Katon techniques I can’t actually perform and vanish from the face of the Earth for a couple of centuries?

-”Aren’t you going to open it?”

I blink in a way I suspect paints a rather dumb picture of me, before realizing he’s still here. Occupied with what I suspect is a mild panic attack, he kind of slipped my mind. Blinking a couple more times to no effect, I finally concede and focus on the package.

The stuffy formal appearance hints at something clan-related, which really narrows down the possible contents. Like a lot. Well, no point in procrastinating anymore. It could still be something completely unrelated.

Aaaaand… An invitation to some nonsense traditional clan get-together, for myself and a guardian of choice -as if I would choose anyone but Mother- since I was an Academy Student and thus part of the Shinobi system. With RSVP, which in ninja clans is basically a subtle way of letting you know that attendance is mandatory.

And it was for tomorrow. Fan-freakin’-tastic.

-”...Damn.” -Of course it isn’t something else. Even without the heavily implied command, my situation means I can’t really reject without causing an intra-village diplomatic incident and probably giving Mother a headache. That with Mother’s divorce, the lifetime isolation from them and that man’s incompetently traitorous tendencies- “Tell the kind of cute irrationally hostile and recklessly belligerent bitch I’ll be honoured to assist and all that crap. Now shoo, I have a packed schedule and you’re getting in the way of me trying to laze around.”

Spoilers: I didn’t manage to laze around. Stupid Shimada blood.

I should have expected this.

Seriously, why the heck did I not see it coming?

I mean, I’m supposed to be a genius, and this development was painfully predictable.

Stupid Shimada blood.

What happened, you ask? Just the most pointless five hours of pregnant tension and useless worry of my entire life, that’s what happened.

After getting the clan invitation, I was understandably unsettled. What exactly was waiting for me at the Haizuki Compound the following day? Mother hadn’t told me peep about that man’s clan even after I confronted her with Ryūzetsu’s presence in my class, so I only had rumors and speculation about them.

They had a Kekkei Genkai that was very hush-hush, a reputation as schemers and politicians that you’d never guess from Ryūzetsu alone, and Mother didn’t like them. Well, that last one might be an overstatement. I strongly suspect nothing Mother dislikes survives for long. More like they’re treated like a specially foul-smelling smoke fume. You avoid it, but it’s not worth the effort of deatomizing the source.

All speculation and hearsay, as I already mentioned. Especially about Mother, nobody knows how Mother thinks, except maybe Mother herself.

In any case, I had to talk to her about this. It couldn’t be pushed back any longer. What was our own clan’s relationship with them? And I mean down to the last detail. Like it or not, I'm kind of a heiress, and my words and actions matter in an official setting. I wouldn’t -couldn’t- make Mother’s life more difficult by stumbling there.

And the damn event was the following day. And Mother wasn’t at home when I arrived. Because she was on a mission outside the Village and there was no guarantee that she would be back on time to coach me about this, or even to escort me there. Another grave issue I had failed to contemplate.

It had probably been planned that way, given the Haizuki Clan scheming reputation.

I could barely focus on my training the whole evening, worrying myself sick and picturing progressively unlikely scenarios. By nightfall I was convinced the invitation was a clever ploy to separate me from Mother and then use some sort of forbidden seal to bend me to their will. They would then use my knowledge of the future and alternative realities to build an army of orbital mechas capable of razing the Elemental Countries with laser beams. Ninja lasers. And maybe train an army of three-eyed radioactive giant scorpions. With two stingers.

Then Mother arrived. The sheer volume of relief I felt hearing her greetings was only matched by the frustrated self-loathe that immediately followed. Of course Mother had arrived. Of course she would be around for tomorrow’s event. Of course she was two steps ahead of the Haizuki Clan. What the hell had I been thinking?

Then we actually talked about the gathering, and I discovered it was actually a pretty harmless thing without anything at stake. Sure, I might risk causing some amusement if I said the wrong thing, but nobody expected me to be an accomplished diplomat nor did my words carry any weight.

Probably a lesser woman would feel confused, maybe even horrified, at the way I unceremoniously proceed to repeatedly bash my head against the table while muttering self-deprecating ravings. It's just like me to build a castle out of a grain of sand, really.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Mother just arches a brow, more amused than anything else, if I were to venture a guess at her feelings.

-”With how mature you always act, it’s hard to remember you’re only eight” -She finally says, once my forehead is too sore to keep hitting the table- “I got tomorrow free, so I guess I could escort my cute little daughter to some festivities. It’ll be good mother-daughter bonding time.”

I snort at that. I can picture Mother doing many things. Great, terrible things, but my brain simply refuses to picture how it would be to have... bonding time with her. It’ll probably involve dodging lethal implements of some fashion or another. At best.

Then the previous statement registers.

-”Wait, you were going to leave me to fend with those hyenas alone?”

-”They aren’t that bad.” -She hesitates- “And they are your family.”

Was that a statement or a question, Mother dear? For the record, she is my family, the Haizuki are just the somewhat annoying distant cousins you have to bear with for time to time. And Ryūzetsu, who is the definitively annoying distant cousin you have to bear with on a daily basis.

-”If you say so, Mother…”

I plop on the table, mentally exhausted after a whole evening of pointless panicking and, surprisingly enough, Mother lets me laze around until dinner. She seems to be in a good mood, I guess she got to torture kittens in her mission or something.

The ‘little clan get together’ happened to be a somewhat grandiose fair-type celebration. There were stalls with food and games, wide tables where people sat to discuss the latest politics or clan business -read: gossip- with a cup of tea in hand and a gaggle of brats running around and making noise. Never knew there were that many Haizuki in Grass.

As it turns out, mother-daughter bonding time with Mother consists in wandering calmly from stall to stall, casually demolishing games and proving Shimada metabolism takes a lot of nutritional intake to keep at top condition, verbally lashing anyone who felt entitled to throw insinuations our way -a surprising amount, all things considered. It's like they don’t know who Mother is- and enjoy the soft breeze of this warm-yet-not-too-hot early summer day.

It’s all quite fun.

Even if the insinuations got tiresome after a while. Seriously, I get that man had brought shame to their Clan, but he’d shamed Mother too! Trying to blame her for it was beyond dumb. At least I had the satisfaction of knowing no individual had tried twice. While my humble sharp tongue might’ve been able to reduce a brat to tears by the time I entered the Academy, Mother can do the same with fully grown up adults.

Actually, scratch ‘fun’. I was having a blast. And learning to wield dry sarcasm as a weapon from the best! Moreover, Mother finally got around telling me about the Haizuki in depth, and man, I mean in depth. Name, place in the family tree, affluence and influence, both overt and covert, tastes, routines, blackmail material and threat level of pretty much every assistant is ruthlessly dissected for our personal amusement.

Then, after the fifth consecutive ‘threat level non-existent’ and with something that could be a slightly apologetic expression, Mother deigns herself to abandon her personal threat level scale and uses a more traditional measure system. One where there is… you know, someone under Kage in the ‘vaguely threatening’ level.

All in all, the anxiety from yesterday is a thing of the past. My mood couldn’t be better and I can’t even bring myself to care when I find out Ryūzetsu -because of course it’s her fault- has somehow nagged her parents into arranging a series of exhibition duels amongst the attending shinobi brat hopefuls. Including me, of course.

Whatever, I’ll elegantly lose again and everything will be fine.

… That’s when I notice the whispers. Here and there, groups of two or three people are throwing sly looks our way and stage-whispering disparaging comments about me and my… less than commendable practical performance in the Academy. I wouldn’t care at all, if they weren’t insinuating it all was somehow Mother’s fault.

It’s a setup if I’ve ever seen one. Textbook taunts that I could see coming a mile ago. Plus, Mother can kick ass on her own without me getting all riled-up. Actually, in a Village-versus-Mother no-holds-barred match, you wouldn’t catch me betting against her no matter how good the odds.

Case is, their yapping changes nothing, I still don’t want to stand out.

…

Mother isn’t even fazed by the comments and, if I could hear, so could her. A hundred times better.

…

Nuhup, elegantly losing in round one.

…

I’m sorry, I lied.

Somehow, I made it to the finals. Can you believe it?

And Ryūzetsu even looked so confident when she stood in front of me last round! I almost felt bad about wiping the floor with her face. Literally and repeatedly. Until she gave up. Something that took a while, that with her mouth being full of dirt and all that.

… I might be a slightly vindictive person, and all this mess is her fault. After today, I can kiss goodbye to my reputation as a strictly theoretical genius.

Oh, well, anything worth doing is worth doing right, and I’m already here so might as well do my best. Even if my last opponent is Muku.

I might’ve mentioned it before, but Muku is a monster. One of those ‘talent of the generation’ creatures of pure skill and power that the shinobi world seems to give birth with relative frequency. Seriously, out of every ten students who drop the Academy, nine did it because they felt they couldn’t compete.

… That’s a joke, once joining the Academy, graduation is mandatory, in Grass, at least. But Muku’s no less of a monster just because people aren’t allowed to run for their lives. Seriously, how can someone so cute be so strong? Shouldn’t it be against the Geneva Convention or something?

Oh, wait, ninja. We don’t care.

-”Are the contestants ready?”

Ah... crap. He’s already in front of me! Also, fresh like lettuce, because his last match was before mine, and I took my sweet time letting Ryūzetsu taste all the subtle flavours and fragrances of the dust and dirt stepped on by generations of her ancestors.

Ryūzetsu who, for some unfathomable reason, is Muku’s best friend.

Man I’m so screwed.

-”Shimada? I won’t ask again!”

Okay, Ran. Don’t try anything flowery here, or you’ll be outplayed, and then eat dirt. Don’t improvise, or you’ll be countered, and then eat dirt. Don’t fall into patterns, or you’ll be predicted and then eat dirt. Don’t overextend, or you’ll make a fool out of yourself and then eat dirt.

Stick to what you know that works, close your defense, take pot-shots whenever possible, but be mindful of feints. Don’t overextend. Keep your cool, bait him into overextending. Pray to all the gods of war and mercy and, most important: Whatever happens, never, ever, under any circumstances, lose.

Easy… right?

I send a last, desperate look towards Mother. Okay, desperation is all inside, because if I break my poker face here, I won’t ever live it down. Case is, suddenly the option of giving up is looking really appealing. Then something so unexpected it can be considered paranormal happens.

Mother smiles, and mouths the words ‘Make me proud’.

Oh, dear. Now I have no choice, do I?

Stupid Shimada mom.

Five minutes in, I had to stop paying attention to the time, because Muku decided it was enough warming up and has been rising the tempo ever since. I’ve done my best to dish out the pain while keeping it away from myself, but Muku’s form and physical strength are leagues above the rest of the class.

For every hit I barely dodge or deflect by a hair’s breadth, there’s another one already halfway to my face. Trying to grapple is a lost cause, and I find myself wondering whether there’s some sort of eel Kekkei Genkai in his blood, so slippery he is.

For time to time, I manage to lash out with a fist or a knee, but he just jumps away with the hit, minimizing the already negligible damage I could cause through his damn perfect guards. It's frustrating, it’s tiring and it’s painful. The fact I’m somehow standing my ground makes everything three times worse, because I have to look pathetic from the outside, but don’t really have an excuse to give up.

By the time a lull allows me to check the sun, it’s already some two hours later. To my pain, tiredness and frustration you can add boredom. Well, not actual boredom, I don’t have time for that, but a dull sort of mental fatigue that comes from continuing a repetitive task, no matter how adrenaline-inducing such a task is. And keeping my head attached to my shoulders is pretty adrenaline inducing, thank you.

Anyway, I must be losing my common sense, because I decide to hell with not improvising and/or overextending, and his next opening finds a [Shimada Knuckle Sandwich Special (Newly Named Technique)] saying hello to his ribs. He even takes it, huh. Must be as mentally tired as I’m myself if he actually fell for that.

Of course, he still manages to jump away with the impact, trivializing the damage and leaving me with the frustrating sensation I’ve punched a pillow again. At least I’ll earn some points… Can I win this match by points? That would be kind of lame but at this point I’d take it.

Not that I have time to ask the referee though, because Muku comes back with a vengeance. And if I thought he was playing rough before, that’s nothing compared with now. His next kick actually makes a crater where I was standing a second before, and I could barely see him coming.

His follow up is a relentless barrage, and is hard to accept this is the same opponent I was fighting a minute ago. Speed and aggression have gone through the roof, he’s even letting out some killing intent. Granted, his textbook-perfect technique suffers a bit, but at this point, that only makes him harder to predict.

Somehow, somewhat, I manage to keep myself from taking a clean hit, but finding an opening to attack myself is kind of impossible. Heck his last kick I blocked with my elbow, angling it perfectly to deal damage to his ankle, and all I got for my efforts was a sickening crunch and a sore arm. The monster doesn’t seem to even flinch a little.

There’s a couple more instances like that, where a perfect counter turns out absolutely ineffective. Heck, I managed to drop all my weight on his left wrist at some point and, far from incapacitating his arm, he almost brains me with that same fist a second later.

I’m running out of ideas, and maybe missing a good Raiton to try and fry his nervous system a little bit. That should give him pause… right? Still, prodigious or not, I’m a first year Academy student and they won’t teach us nature manipulation for some years yet. Actually, forget elemental releases, without even ninpo at my disposal and weapons being banned from the encounter, my options are very, very limited.

As in, desperate enough to actually consider ripping off the [Frontal Lotus] from Lee, provided I can find an opening in lieu of [Shadow Dance] that, of course, I have no idea how to perform. And figure out a way to imprint that kind of rotation… somehow. Hey I’m improvising here, trying to draw inspiration from an anime series to pull an impossible victory out of my ass. So bite me. At least Muku’s technique keeps degrading the longer we fight.

Half-expecting him to grin and bear again, I counter his latest charge with a kick aimed at the same leg that elbow block from before should’ve incapacitated and, to my surprise, he throws himself aside instead. Huh, that move was needlessly emphashized. Is he trying to lure me in?

But his loss of balance is simply too good to let go and, wary of unexpected counters, I slip around his line of sight and behind him. Quickly, but carefully, ready to abort and cut loses the second a movement out of place reveals his own plans, I throw him into the air with my best upwards kick, timing my jump after him to catch up as soon as he begins his descent.

Judging by the sudden gasps all around, my successful air grapple surprises the public as much as myself, but I can’t afford to count my eggs just yet. You see, the only possible explanation for Lee’s vertical-axis rotation I can come up with is ‘the power of youth’, and that’s so beyond me.

But I have a prodigious mind, and physics knowledge miles ahead of what’s actually expected, so instead I use maths, and put a much easier to pull horizontal-axis rotation on my move. This isn’t the [Frontal Lotus] anymore, but assuming my hasty calculations are right, our crazy-ass spin will stop with Muku’s head on the ground. If this doesn’t stop him cold, I’m surrendering.

-”[Shimada Hiden - Fuusha no Ran (Shimada Secret Technique - Pinwheel Orchid)]!”

There’s a very satisfying cracking sound when we hit the ground, but after all the shit I’ve been taking this duel, I’m not cheering just yet. Instead, I jump away, keeping a relaxed guard stance and doing my best to catch my breath without showing how freaked out I am.

I mean, the hell happened with all those rules I had at the start of the match? Is there a single one I didn’t break?... Okay, I’m pretty sure I didn’t fall into any pattern, but that’s it. Also, now that Muku is down and the haze of adrenaline clears up a bit, I might’ve noticed that last recently named technique isn’t just potentially lethal, but to make sure he was hit on the head, my own nape had to graze the ground on the last spin. Just a couple of centimeters off-course and it would’ve been me lying on the ground like a stringless puppet. Sure hope I didn’t kill him tho, mighty favour to do to the only classmate I can actually stand.

At least there isn’t any blood and… he’s standing up. What. The. Hellish. Hell?

The referee stops the count and closes in, whispering something in his ear that he answers with a curt nod, eyes fixed on me. As we make eye contact, there’s something on his look that makes me shiver with… anticipation?

What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I a battle freak? A masochist? Or just so incapable of backing down from a fight I’m willing to keep taking on this monster until he finally grabs a hold on me and breaks me like a twig?

-”You know what? Screw it.” -Nobody is close enough to hear my muttering, so I raise my voice- “Continuing this duel might end up in severe injuries unwarranted in an exhibition match, I surrender.”

An incredulous silence falls on the spectators as I give up, I wonder what the hell has they so surprised? Have we been in the same fight? It’s not like I want to end up with a fucking broken bone, or permanent brain damage. That’s no way to start the holidays. Shrugging at their incomprehensible behaviour, I turn to leave. As I’m walking away, a loud thump makes me look back and catch Muku unceremoniously deciding to take a nap right there.

Huh, never pegged him for the type. The more you know someone...

Mother smiled all the way back home, and I was too giddy to be creeped out. I mean, maybe I lost the fight, but it was tense and exciting and I haven’t felt so good in… forever! I don’t even mind how my good clothes -remember, this was supposed to be some sort of celebration- got ruined beyond all hope of repair, or how I’m all sweaty and sore and covered in dirt and bruises, because it’s been great! I can’t wait to… Wait a moment.

Stupid Shimada blood. It does come with a berserker switch after all.

Still, we have omurice for dinner and by the time I hit the Academy tomorrow everyone will know I can trounce anyone in a spar if I bother to take it seriously -Well, anyone but Muku, who is a damn beast, as previously stated- and I won’t be able to laze around anymore and I can’t bring myself to care because my body is still soaked in dopamine and tomorrow will be a bitch but that’s a problem for Future Ran.

Today, I kicked ass and took names, and it doesn’t matter I never wanted to, because now I have it and it’s too soon to regret it, so I hug and even contemplate kissing Mother -just contemplate. I’m giddy, not suicidal- and go to bed thinking about how I most likely ruined the Haizuki Clan show of force.

Actually, I’m probably doing the clan a favour, because Mother can be surprisingly protective when the time’s right, and setting me to be humiliated most likely counts as ‘right time’. Let me remind you Mother’s ass-kicking only has two settings, ‘disciplining daughter’ and ‘smoldering crater’ and I’m pretty sure only I ever get the first setting.

I’m so privileged.

Also, tomorrow is the last day before the summer holidays, so I won’t have to worry about breaking character till we start our second year, so that’s good. It also means I’ll have a lot of alone time with Mother right as I decided to show all and sundry I’m actually a competent fighter. That’s bad.

Still Future Ran's problem. Sweet Akasha bless that girl, who takes all the shit I raise without a word of complaint.

Our last day is remarkably subdued. I mean, rumours are running rampant and everyone eyes me fearfully and apparently I threw Muku all the way to the mountains, or maybe I threw the mountain at him. Depends who you ask. Neither Ryūzetsu nor Muku assisted today and I don’t like talking, so there’s no one to put a stop to the wilder rumours.

I’m also sore as fuck, and too preoccupied with the shit Past Ran rose yesterday to pay much attention to anything. It’s not like we have actual lessons on our last day anyway.

Later I learn they’re both in the hospital, and Muku even has some broken bones. I wonder if they fell down the stairs or something? Picturing that monster tripping and falling down the stairs is somewhat amusing. Picturing Ryūzetsu tripping and Muku trying to grab her and ending up wounding himself worse is even better. Damn the scene in my mind seems straight out from a school romcom.

Man I needed that laugh.

… This summer's gonna suck.

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

005- Summer of fun and games (seriously now, please send help!)

My first day of summer holidays in my whole life -this one whole life, bite me- turns out to be fairly… boring. Mother is away on a two-days mission that should end this evening, Katekyo A & B are enjoying their own holidays and I have literally zero responsibilities or commitments to occupy my time with.

A long time ago, in what some idiot feeling too smart for his own good would call a lifetime ago, I would’ve procrastinated more than half the morning away in bed, and the rest binging wikipedia or TV Tropes, sneaking a quick shower somewhere… maybe. Probably taken a nap after lunch for good measure and wasted the rest of the day gaming like there was no tomorrow. Technically true, ‘Tomorrow’ is Future Ran’s business.

At this point of my life, well... I jumped out of bed out of sheer boredom at half past five, having grown restless after half an hour turning and throwing. Before nine, I’ve run through all the training one can realistically fit on an empty stomach, made and ate breakfast. Before eleven, make that all the training an eight years old body can healthily fit in a morning, chakra or not and taken a luxuriously long bath.

And I’m getting restless again. Stupid Shimada blood.

I roll on the floor for about five minutes, before getting sick with it and taking out my writing supplies. Might as well get some practice drawing seals. With lead ink. On chakra isolant paper. Last time I used even vaguely reactive materials unsupervised Katekyo A actually bent me on her knee and tanned my hide. That wasn't fun. Like, at all.

That manages to have me occupied until it’s time to make lunch. Because Mother gave up on having premade dishes for me shortly after I became six and could reach the stove. Homemade food is, like, five times tastier. And I kinda like cooking.

That still leaves me long hours of evening ahead, and I’m not feeling even a teensy little bit drowsy, so no point in going for a nap. Katekyo B will skin me if I try mixing poisons without adult supervision so the only thing to do is review. Which I do for a couple of hours.

Great, it’s now four, and I have to kill another four hours at the very least before Mother arrives. In a productive way, because I can’t really relax while wasting time anymore. Stupid Shimada blood.

Another hour working on my aim with kunai, another hour and a half dusting and wiping the floors in desperation. In the end, I crack open the cryptanalysis assignments for the summer. My plan was to take it easy and begin at some point next month but…

Stupid Shimada blood.

-”I’m home.”

Mother’s voice pulls my mind away from the matrix of nightmares and despair I’m currently working on, feeling a bit surprised she’s home so early. Then I see the moon high in the sky. I’ve somehow absorbed myself into this for hours. Heck I’ve burned through a good quarter of the full thing already!

At this rate I’ll die of boredom before the first week is over.

So you can imagine my mood wasn’t exactly cheerful during dinner. If Mother caught on it though, she doesn’t comment. And I’m not in the mood to try and decipher her poker face, so we eat up in silence.

It’s only when I’m cleaning up that she speaks up again.

”Tomorrow we leave on a frontier patrol mission. C-rank. Easy to complete but somewhat long duration, great for a first experience. It’ll be an allied frontier, so we don’t expect trouble.” She pauses a moment before adding a last comment “It’ll be like camping out, really.”

And it takes me a moment to realize she’s trying to make it look more appealing.

Because, you know, I’m kind of freaking out here. What kind of responsible parent takes her eight years old daughter for a frontier patrol mission? Mother does, obviously.

”Ehm, Mother? Never would I question the soundness of your proposals, but you are aware a single year at the Academy doesn’t make a shinobi out of me, right? I’m pretty sure I technically can’t even leave the walls of the Village without a damn good reason.”

Mother dismissively waves a hand around, while holding her cup with the other. The tea inside doesn’t even ripple.

”Heirship takes preference over your Academy Student status, I can apply the rules of Apprenticeship to you without anyone arching a brow.”

Well, isn’t that flattering? I know very well Mother doesn’t play favorites. Daughter or not, heiress or not, she wouldn’t officially take me under her wing unless I met her unrealistic standards. Apprenticeship is business, and she never mixes those with feelings. Also...

”Mother, you do remember I don’t really aim to become shinobi, right?” I try arching a brow Mother-style, but I’m pretty sure it comes out wrong. Also, my teacup shakes with the attempt. Damnit. “I’m attending the Academy simply because they provide the best education.”

”Some experience in the field wouldn’t hurt, no matter your future plans, but if you’re so against it, I can go alone. The Mission is already accepted.” She clarifies at my confused expression. “I trust you’ll be responsible enough to take care of the house when I’m away.”

There’s no trace of smugness on her words, and they’re delivered in an almost perfect neutral tone. A bit disappointed at first, severe and a bit concerned towards the end. Just as any normal mother would when talking about leaving her daughter home alone.

But Mother is anything but normal, and she knows how I’ll react to those words. And I know what she’s really feeling, even if she lets out no indication. After almost dying of boredom today, staying two months alone here isn’t really an option.

No way in heck I’m having a summer consisting of sixty todays.

On second thought, I bitterly reflect two days later, doing my best to keep up with Mother’s imposed pace. Maybe sixty days of utter boredom wouldn’t have been all that bad, really. Seriously, this woman I love and fear so much has no concept of human limitations, much less 8-years-old bodies limitations.

Actually, forget the hellish pace. That’s nothing by itself. The real problem is Mother’s apparently decided using the road, or even an Akasha-damned animal track is too plebeian for us Shimada. It is not for me, thank you very much. I’m still human. So far I’ve held to my stubbornness with single-minded determination. Somehow managing to shut my complaints up and follow, but today I’ll sleep like the dead, and I suspect trying to stand up tomorrow will be a fool’s errand.

”Alright, here should be fine.” Mother’s voice pulls me out of my misery. “It’s time to induct you into some of the Shimada secret traditions.”

Without waiting for my grunt of acknowledgement, she pulls some absurdly quick hand seals that I can only assume are some kind of privacy measure and pulls out a terribly nondescript scroll. Suspiciously nondescript, actually, I wouldn’t be able to point out any of its features even if my life depended on it.

”This” she continues. “Is the Shimada Forbidden Scroll.”

That sends my head spinning. Because heck, I hadn’t known our clan has its own Forbidden Scroll! That means the blatant ‘non-descriptyness’ is probably a safety measure, nobody will remember or search for something they literally can't pay attention to.

It also kinda sorta makes sense we’re in the middle of nowhere now, no matter how secure a secure location supposedly is, there’s always a risk of it being infiltrated and/or bugged. But a random spot in the wilderness halfway to our very boring C-Rank border patrol? Only an extremely bored stalker or sheer chance will have us being watched.

-”Exactly.” Oops, did I say that out loud? “At the current time, there’s exactly three beings in existence who could shadow us without letting out a recognisable chakra signature. I can counter two of them through other means and instilled the fear of God in the third years ago. We are as secure as is humanly possible.”

As secure as humanly possible and then some, I’d bet, Mother is overkill like that. Still…

”Why now?” I can’t help but ask. “Is there some sort of tradition?”

”Indeed, only those who contribute to the scroll can partake on it’s secrets.”

I… might’ve frozen in the spot, because an undetermined amount of time later, Mother’s voice shakes me out of my surprised stupor.

”[Shimada Hiden - Fuusha no Ran]”

”But…!” I try to protest, half-mortified and half-flattered. “That was just a silly move put together on the spur of the moment! I don’t really deserve this.”

”Correction, daughter. Your [Shimada Knuckle Sandwich Special] was a silly move put together on the spur of the moment, and that isn’t going into the scroll.” I… might blush a teensy little bit at that. Back then, adrenaline running high and common sense jumping through the window, I’d apparently yelled the name of the move. “The [Pinwheel Orchid], on the other hand, is a work of art. A highly lethal move requiring zero chakra to pull off. You and the Muku brat can’t weigh much more than a hundred pounds put together. Imagine now that same rotation, but triple the weight.”

”By the square-cube law... Ouch.”

”Exactly. And it can be deployed while low on chakra, or in circumstances when it’s usage is contraindicated for whatever the reason.” Then she smiles again and it's weird and warm and I don’t know how to deal with the feelings, so I look away. “You, dear daughter of mine, made me inordinately proud back then. Now, I have a vague idea of what you did, but explain the method for the record, as detailed as you can manage.”

”Physics.”

”That’s… not very detailed.”

”It’s all based on Physics and precise on-the-fly calculation. After I connected my kick I calculated how high he would rise. From there I knew how much strength I had to use on my own jump, when and where to grapple to imprint the necessary rotation. How many revolutions until we hit the ground. Which parts of the formulae to change on the fly to deal with unexpected variables. The Taijutsu involved is insultingly basic. All the merit goes to the high-speed math applied to real life behind it.”

”A high-risk high-returns bet where everything depended on your ability to calculate the desirable outcome and compensate for any unexpected factor practically as it happened. A bet that put your head less than two inches from splattering against the floor, just to try and win an exhibition match where nothing was at stake.”

As she keeps talking, her tone gets more somber, and the warm feeling on my chest gradually turns into a chunk of ice.

”That was prideful and greedy beyond all measure.”

I swallow with difficulty, wondering how exactly would I manage to apologize for such a fuck up. Especially because I wasn’t really sorry about it. And you can’t lie to Mother.

”Yes, you are a Shimada to the bone. The fact it relies more on on-the-fly calculations that muscle reflexes means the move cannot be copied down by that distasteful pink eye of the Uchiha. I believe you deserve to write down your technique yourself. Good job, my daughter.”

And with that, she left to set camp for the night, leaving me with a scroll in a hand and a quill on the other, wondering what kind of messed up family praises suicidal pride and disproportionate greed. The Shimada, apparently.

…

Stupid Shimada blood.

Planeshunter · May 31, 2020

006 - It’s a brand new world (Of pain)

Training with Mother is a grueling experience in the best circumstances. Training with Mother on an isolated spot within a nondescript forest, where nobody can hear you scream, is the stuff of nightmares. When left to my own devices, my stupid Shimada blood wakes me up around five in the morning, and doesn’t let me laze arond without growing restless.

Man, were those the good times, Mother barely allows me three hours of sleep, and by the time she wakes me up, she’s perfectly awake and ready for the day herself, slightly disapproving frown at my apparent inability to function without freaking sleep.

Then we warm up for the day.

Remember that first day of holidays, when I was bored out of my head and trained to the limit of physical exertion? I apologize, I lied. Turns out the limits of my physical body are way beyond anything my worst nightmares could’ve concocted. What I did that day was a joke. Like my life, that’s a joke too. And I don’t like the punchline, mainly because what it punches is my face. With flawlessly manicured hands capable of demolishing trees five times my girth.

Yes, I was rediscovering my limits. It was an enlightening experience. Terrifying, painful and cruel, for sure, but certainly enlightening.

On the plus side, I got to know Mother better. Mother out in the field and Mother back home are practically two different people. Two perfectly flawless people, for sure, but still. Watching her on the job was awe-inspiring. But also plain inspiring. A couple of times I caught myself actually feeling tempted to pursue the shinobi life for real. That’s during the brief moments of respite when the muscle cramps weren’t actually bad enough for me to wish [Infinite Tsukuyomi] would be executed already so I could run to a happy place, of course. That is to say, once or twice a week, tops. Because the experience also was plain awful.

In spite of everything, I was grudgingly grateful at the chance. This will come to you as a surprise, but Mother is actually cool as all heck and, pain aside -dear Akasha, so much pain-, I actually loved being close to her while she did something she loved.

Don’t get me wrong, she was a great -flawless- mother, and I have no doubt -anymore- than she loves me, but nobody would miss the fact that shinobi life was actually her life’s calling.

… Nobody capable of looking past her poker face, that is, so probably just me.

Reached this point, you’re probably expecting the moment when things inevitably go wrong. You know, we find an enemy infiltration team trying to cross the border, or find Zetsu eating people or maybe a demonic invasion in the making.

Ok, fine, we did run into trouble.

Or… maybe it’s better to say trouble ran into Mother.

We were some five weeks into the mission when it happened. I was very carefully holding back any relief I felt over the fact I had survived the halfways mark. No need to tempt fate and all that. Of course, Fate decided to be a jerk and ignore my religious respect for Murphy.

The group of five lightly armored shinobi wearing blank white masks landed literally in the middle of the clearing we were setting camp for the night. I couldn’t help a loud groan. Root operatives, why did it have to be Root operatives?

”You are trespassing in Grass territory” Mother states calmly, posture relaxed as if this was an everyday occurrence. ”If you have adequate justification, you may present it now.”

Suffice to say they didn’t react in a manner suggesting they were supposed to be there. And then Mother put them down. Hard. Holy Akasha, Madoka and the Golden Triforce, I know Mother was good but what I saw then… Or rather, what I didn’t see, because it all happened too fast.

One moment they were preparing to attack, -four of them facing Mother, the last one very blatantly aiming at me- the next they were laying on smoldering craters on the ground, a generous amount of gore hinting what had just happened to their suddenly missing heads.

Mother is scowling lightly, and that’s the most expression I’ve ever seen in her normally impassive face.

”I know trying to get a hostage is standard procedure in situations like this” She comments, failing badly at trying to sound nonchalant. “But seriously, going after my daughter is just asking for trouble.”

… And that was that, really.

Well, most of it. After dinner, Mother insisted I should take the chance to learn how to make a proper battle report. Insufferable nitpicking about proper wording aside, that opened my eyes to a series of things.

Like how there’s been a subtle wide area genjutsu around us the whole summer, encouraging others to come close. A particularly devious one that makes our base seem more appealing the more furtive one is feeling.

Or how the Root operatives had tripped some kind of silent warning I hadn’t even noticed. When I asked about it though, Mother just said ‘clan secret, you’ll learn when you’re older’.

Or how Danzo’s implication in the whole deal couldn’t be properly put into paper and had to be insinuated instead. The way Mother talked about the man, one might think she actually respects the twisted creep. Which is absurd, so whatever.

For some reason, the only thing she wrote down about the fight was that the operatives were ‘put down with extreme prejudice’ which actually made me burst in a fit of hysterical giggles. Because that was absolutely true. I’ve never seen Mother show such extreme prejudice against anything before.

So yeah, turns out Mother had had everything under control from beginning to end. All… except the fact that I might be seen as a possible hostage. Somehow that shocked her. Guess even the most flawless inhuman taskmistresses have their blind spots.

Still, it’s heartwarming to know she cares so much about me. I guess another #1 Mom gift will be waiting for her on her next birthday too.

It took me another couple of weeks to notice something wrong, and we were already returning when I put all the pieces together. It had been subtle, or maybe not, but it’s hard to notice anything when you wake up with your muscles screaming and go back to bed with them crying. Or while you’re doing push-ups and dodging thrown shuriken at the same time. Or… I’m sure you get my point.

The learning curve had gotten steeper after that encounter.

Mother was trying to make me strong as fast as she could, she was obviously more affected by the encounter than I thought.

And, in spite of all the pain involved, I couldn’t help but feel a purring warmth inside my chest at the knowledge.

...Stupid Shimada blood.

Homecoming turns out to be a mixture of relief and disappointment. On the one hand, this marks the end of two months struggling to survive and back to the -relatively- sane life in the village. On the other, it means far less time with Mother, which I’ll admittedly miss, and there’s a non-zero chance I’ll now find school life -even more- dull.

That and all the trouble I put aside to enjoy my vacation will come back with a vengeance. Joy.

So, in the end, I’m already starting to stress out again before ever arriving home. Walking past Ryūzetsu on the way didn’t really help matters. The bitch sported a tan that spoke of long hours under the sun, and bandages and band aids that hinted at a training as intense as my own. Guess I won’t just roflstomp her this year.

Getting back into town has also led to some… uncomfortable realizations. You see, I am now aware my ‘training from hell’ wasn’t as productive as I would’ve hoped. Improvement is clearly in the eye of the beholder.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. It’s not like Mother putting me through the wringer was useless. I’m strong, stronger than any nine years old has any right to be. Strong enough to notice the actually strong people going out and about their daily jobs.

Few things are as humbling as going through the gruelling training required to be able to actually tell the difference between you and a real shinobi. For now, for the first time, I can actually catch them moving around when they go about their business. Through the rooftops, trees and even waterways.

And I still can’t catch sight of any ANBU. Or whatever Grass equivalent is called, we ‘officially’ don’t have special ops but… yeah, right.

In any case, It’s not that my training was ineffective, it just wasn’t… as effective as I had assumed.

And while that would’ve caused me to shrug and go on with my life once upon a time, now it stings my pride something fierce. Maybe I should try and make use of the Academy training to get something produ—

Wait a minute. No, I won’t fall for it! I don’t want to be a ninja, damnit!

Stupid Shimada blood.

Planeshunter · Jun 2, 2020

Right till I published this, I was working simultaneously on four chapters, using a fifth doc with notes as reference material. I’m still working on three. It’s madness, please send help!

007 - Back to school (oh, how I have missed you!)

The new school year starts with a surprise. And not a bad surprise either, in spite of what I’ve grown used to. I… hesitate to call it good news either, but at the very least it’s not a bad thing. A new student has enrolled.

“First things first.” Narutaki-sensei starts after the customary greetings and welcome backs. “I want you to welcome a new classmate.”

There’s a lot of surprised and curious chatter at this announcement, and sensei has to wait a whole minute until speculations about our new classmate and what their possible cool and/or tragic backstory would be for them to get introduced in second year. Personally, I found the theory of a ninja princess from outer space was surprisingly thought out.

“This is Uzumaki Karin.” Well, that is a surprise. And not a space ninja princess either. Even if she’s a ninja and she is -or will become- the last surviving female of her clan, and ninshu was invented by a half-alien.

…

…

Actually, that means she almost qualifies. Wow, that theory was close to the mark, after all.

You’ve probably noticed how I didn’t mention her presence there during my first year in spite of how she’s the only thing I used to consider important in Kusa, back at the beginning? Yeah, that wasn’t an oversight, she just wasn’t there. So I just assumed she wasn’t my age (or her education was lagging/too advanced) and went with my life. At first I was too busy being frustrated by my own prodigiousness and then it kind of slipped my mind.

According to her introduction, that she spends quietly staring at her feet while Narutaki-sensei does all the talking, she and her parents have recently abandoned their wandering lifestyle to join Kusagakure. If I was a cynical person, I’d assume they were captured by Kusa-nin and extorted into it and— Oh, wait, I am!

At least they had the decency to assign Karin to the Academy instead of, dunno. Chaining her down in some hospital dungeon so people can bite and suck on her tender, underaged body?

… Wow, that sounds even worse than expected, but you know what I mean.

“Um…” A hesitant voice interrupts my reveries. Oh, hey! It’s Karin! “Do you mind if I sit here?”

“Sure, there’s room to spare.” I mean, I’ve never been particularly popular in the class, but I’ve returned from my summer vacation to find everyone giving me a wide berth. That includes leaving the seats around me empty.

I wonder what sort of rumours Ryūzetsu has been spreading around? I mean, I don’t care, and never wanted to get close to the brats in class anyway, but I’m kind of surprised by how effective it was. Everyone seems to be wary of me.

… Well, she is a Haizuki, reputed for their political scheming and plotting minds, maybe her brutish and poorly thought-out behaviour the last year was a smokescreen so I would underestimate her? Stealing a glance her way, I can see her eyes trying to drill a hole on my head. Nope, no chance, still dumb as a brick. Maybe her family moved some strings in the background? That sounds more likely.

Oh well, nothing for it. Looks like I’ll have a peaceful, unbothered year.

Which reminds me, there’s a cute and adorably shy redhead sitting right beside me, stealing peeks my way when she thinks I can’t see. I wonder why she picked to sit beside me? I mean, sure, there’s free space around, but there are other free seats in the room.

Maybe she finds some sort of kinship? My appearance is pretty unremarkable, after all. In spite of my stupidly prodigious blood, I’m all Haizuki genetics on the outside, with my dull pale hair and my dull pale skin and my dull pale eyes, so maybe the shy girl feels I’m safe to approach?

Ah… but she’s not saying anything, which makes sense, because as stated she’s shy.

Should I open up the conversation? I should open up the conversation. If I’m reading her right, Karin won’t even try. It falls to the (mentally) adult to reach out. But I have no idea how! Social interactions are not the thing I excel at and my stupid Shimada blood isn’t helping! What am I supposed to say, ‘Nice weather we’re having, Doormat-chan?’

…

…

…

… Damnit, I said that out loud, didn’t I?

For the rest of the day, Karin follows me around like a lost puppy. Is frankly adorable, if a bit confusing. Shouldn’t she get mad with the poorly thought out nickname I gave her? It has caught like fire amongst the kids and I know I would’ve hated for that to happen to me.

… In my last life, I mean, now I wouldn’t give a fuck.

Eh, she’s adorable anyway. She’s also pretty smart, easily keeping up with our theoretical courses. One would assume she would need help adjusting to the new curriculum, but I only have to give her a few pointers along the day. I’d pat her head for her good work, but the only time I tried she flinched something fierce. So I guess that’s out the question for now. Man, way to kill the mood.

… Incidentally, I wonder if I can find out who inducted her and her parents into the village, and have some words with them? Just to make sure they’re not ruining the reputation of Kusagakure with their actions, you understand.

All things considered, it’s nice that there’s no point in hiding my physical skills anymore, because suddenly I have a lot of aggression to work through. After a good hour of trying to beat the crap out of my sparring partner while trying not to have mine beat out by him, I trade the conciliation sign with Muku and turn around, only to find Karin nursing a black eye and Ryūzetsu looking smug.

Akasha damnit, I just can’t win today.

Karin clamps down after that, not that she’d opened up much in the first place, but afterwards she becomes practically mute, stubbornly following me everywhere but refusing to look anyone in the eye. Damn but poor girl has had it rough. Leaving the building after the last class, it gets into my mind that I should try and cheer her up somehow.

“So…” I hesitate, trying not to show how utterly lost I’m currently feeling. “Want to go grab a bite or something? My treat.”

“Uh… I...” She hesitates, and she’s still refusing to look anywhere but her feet so I still can’t get a friggin’ read on her! “Mama wants me to go straight back home after school.”

“Oh...” I’m… not relieved by this. And I don’t get why. It was an uncomfortable situation I didn’t know how to face and now it’s gone away, so how come I’m feeling disappointed? “Well, see you tomorrow then?”

She nods without looking up, and leaves in the opposite direction from Home.

“I’m Home.”

I mutter a greeting as soon as I close the door behind me, but home is empty, Mother being busy with some mission or another outside the country. Katekyo A and Katekyo B won’t come visit until the next week and there’s no one else

It’s nothing I’m not used to, but after two months with Mother, it feels a bit lonely. Almost enough to mope around, but I get too restless by improductive shit like that. At least it means I can’t get broody, I guess.

Stupid Shimada blood is useful for something, apparently.

Instead I grab some chicken breasts, bell peppers and onions to make dinner. You wouldn't believe how rare it was to find homemade food in this house before I put my foot down and took matters on my own hands? Mother was never one to cook herself, so it was all precooked meals and takeaways.

On second thought, I think I mentioned that before. And now I’ve made too much food for just myself. All the summer cooking for two busy shinobi with specially active metabolisms going through grueling training does that to your habits.

And now I have a huge pile of leftovers and nobody to share them with, I guess I’ll just stuff everything on the fridge and make it a problem for Future Ran. Bless that child.

After dinner I dust the sealing supplies to get some practice, since it is something I had to neglect during summer training. I might also take a look at this school year’s curriculum later, if only to make sure nothing catches me by surprise. The cryptology stuff will have to wait though, I just delivered my summer homework and they won’t give me anything to do until they go over it and decide what level I’m at.

Apparently they mixed in things supposedly way over my head and I wasn’t expected to do everything.

Stupid Shimada blood…

Anyway! Let’s grab the brush, the non-reactive paper and the lead-loaded ink and lose ourselves in the comforting repetitiveness of sealing practice! Man, I love now all superfluous thoughts seem to fade away, making way for perfect concentration.

No place in my mind for cute and shy girls.

I am a bastion of focus and discipline.

Yeah, there’s no way I’d be distracted by scarlet eyes behind rimmed glasses that I can only imagine because she’s never held my gaze.

For the brush and the seals are the only thing I care about now.

I take a look at the clock, it’s been two and a half minutes. I throw the brush against a wall in frustration and lean back until I’m resting on the tatami. This is useless.

Ah… I really wanted to pat her head...

Wait, I can box all those leftovers from dinner to take tomorrow to the Academy as bento. And then offer to share and use that as an excuse to… no, it wouldn’t work, she’s too skittish.

Still, it’ll be something to do with the leftovers, so I guess operation sharing bento is a go.

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

008 - Apparently I’m being bullied now (And it’s kind of underwhelming)

“Hey Karin!”

I call her attention as soon as I see her stepping into the classroom, so she doesn’t have trouble locating me. I had to sit somewhere else since there’s a spill of sauce in my usual seat. It’s not a big deal, but I’m a bit miffed. Because sure, they’re all brats here, but the students from the evening shift eating in class and being clumsy enough to spill it all over a seat speaks poorly of them. And let’s not mention whoever is in charge of cleaning up that just… ignored it.

Maybe they only clean once per week? I don’t want to think poorly of anyone here. I forget it the moment Karin reaches me. As I mentioned, it’s not a big deal. It also means I have brats sitting around me for once, which is not great, but there’s still a spot for Karin right beside me.

“So...” What’s a pretty harmless topic I can use for small talk? “What do you think of Kusa?”

There’s that flinch again. What did I say? Ugh, I’m not good at this small talk thing. I blame not being exposed to it while growing up. The way she stubbornly refuses eye contact isn’t helping matters.

“Um, it’s a… nice place?” She tries. “I haven’t had time to explore yet.”

“Wow, I knew you were new, but didn’t realize you were that new.” She could’ve arrived months ago and I wouldn’t know, that with my training camp from hell. “Do you want to go exploring sometime? I can play guide and show you the best places!”

“Mama wants me to go straight home after school.”

“Yeah, forgot about that.” Such a restrictive situation, is this what they call helicopter parenting? “Say, I made too much food yesterday, so I packed an extra bento. Want to share?”

That seems to catch her flat footed and, for the first time, she raises her head to look straight at me. Remember how I daydreamed about head patting her yesterday? That mental picture I had on her eyes based on what I remember from my other life? Yeah, it doesn’t even compare.

She has the cutest round face with the brightest eyes I’ve ever seen, huge and red and utterly precious. I shake for a moment, barely able to hold back my urge to squee and trap her in a bear hug and pat her head and never let go again. Then Sensei arrives and the moment is lost.

… Curses, I never heard whether Karin wants to have lunch with me or not.

For what I’m seeing in the classes, second year will be a re-enactment of the first. That is, some classes where I go with different groups because I’m too advanced for them, some classes where I just sit there and do my own thing because I’m too advanced for the friggin’ curriculum and a lot of classes of mostly shit I already know, mixed with just enough tidbits I need to pay attention to if I want to have a solid foundation.

At least I now have Karin and she’s paying so much attention to the teacher… It would be a shame if someone called the teacher’s bullshit.

“Fifty Kusa jounin during the Shiranui Engagement?” I mean, History is full of bullshit, but this particular piece is also very obvious. “Yeah, I don’t buy it.”

My comment startles her out of her focused reverie, and she does her best attempt at discreetly turning her head towards me.

“Because of the size of our village.” I elaborate. “We can hardly afford to send fifty jounin away in total right now, and we’ve grown a lot since the Second Shinobi War. Plus, remember yesterday’s lesson? Kusa was recovering from a wasting disease back then, that means even fewer bodies to throw at our problems.”

“Wow, Shimada-san is really smart!” I wince a bit at the volume of her whisper. If sensei hasn’t heard it I’ll eat my hat. Which has some merit, since I don’t wear one.

“This one was kinda blatant, normally the historians at least try to make it believable. And I keep telling you to call me Ran!”

“Shimada, Uzumaki! Stay behind after class!”

Karin looks mortified and immediately turns her focus back to the teacher. I just hold back a sigh. Seems like I’ll have to teach the girl some stealth before we get into more trouble.

Something’s going on.

All day long. Things have been… strange at the Academy.

All that business with an incopetently traitorous father means I’ve always received a certain degree of animosity. Ryūzetsu is the only one to actually act upon it, but heated glares and snide comments behind my back are things I’ve learnt to ignore.

As long as it doesn’t go beyond that, I have no reason to brutally retaliate and leave their souls broken and their eyes tearful.

But now, that attitude has increased tenfold. Was this going on yesterday too? Can’t remember, was too busy feeling relieved that summer’s finally over, and giddy about Karin joining the class.

Still, if it was just that, I would’ve just ignored it like usual. But some bitch tried to trip me when I was called to the blackboard. More tellingly, the teacher pointedly looked away from the incident.

When I went back to my seat, I had to reset the trap on my bookbag, because someone had tried to sneak a hand inside. Well, sneaking is a bit of a big word. She was anything but stealthy about it.

And sensei ignored it again, that’s when I knew he’s on whatever’s going on.

In any case, they’ve been blatant enough. I don’t need Mother’s awareness training nor my stupid Shimada blood to realize that, as ridiculous as it sounds, I’m being bullied. And it’s not something spontaneous, but rather the result of a coordinated campaign against me. Is someone… trying to pull a Naruto on me like those bad fics(1) where Danzo is behind all the shit in his life?

… Heh. That’s almost cute.

I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to care about what’s going on, but, honestly? This ‘being bullied’ thing has left me utterly unimpressed so far.

(1) I feel obligated to point out I do enjoy such fics, that’s just Ran’s opinion.

After the Academy, I decided to walk Karin home. My tutors will restart their lessons today, so I won’t have much time for playing around in the evenings. Since her mother wants her to go straight home I figured I would make the best out of the situation. We can talk while we walk, and I’ll get to meet the mysterious parent.

Only… we’re not talking much. Karin keeps staring at her feet as if her fingers are about to jump out of her sandals and flee for their lives and I… I’m still bad at this ‘small talk’ thing, okay? I might be prodigious but even I can’t learn how to do social overnight.

Stupid Shimada blood…

We walk past the market plaza and into the central areas of the village, what we call the Centerfold, and I can’t help but raise a brow. This area is for government buildings and military assets, not for apartment buildings. Barracks? Sure, the military sleeps wherever the higher ups tell them to, and it pays to sleep near the places where you’d be doing business. Actual places where people live by choice? Yeah, no.

You see, Centerfold is fucking ugly. Like, this is the place where urban design comes to die. Blocky, cheap and sturdy buildings, easy to construct and hard to destroy, boring and functional, are the rule here. Even if one were to get an empty lot and build a pretty house, the neighbourhood would ruin it.

Still I say nothing and just let her guide me into an office building, and up seemingly infinite flights of stairs until we reach the highest floor. There, we’re greeted by a series of poorly maintained doors, all crammed together along a corridor that doesn’t have any business holding half that amount of rooms, and Karin gets out a key to unlock one of them.

“Um... ” She hesitates before opening it. “This is my home.”

She seems reluctant to let me take a peek inside, so of course I get curious and do so anyway. What I find… well, let’s say I finally understand the situation. I’ve heard of places like this. Small spaces with barely enough room for a bed, a single stove fire and a minuscule en-suite, designed for the people working here to stay overnight when they have to put extra time. This is no place for a family of three to live. For fuck’s sake, it doesn’t even have any window!

I hide my frown, no need to make Karin feel guilty over something that’s clearly beyond her control, but still…

“I’d like to greet your family.” And have some words with them. “I know your dad is hospitalized, but I was hoping to at least meet your mom.”

“Mama works very late, I only see her in the mornings.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” I take a step back and do my best to smile. “Maybe next time then, see you tomorrow?”

I have to think about this. Are her parents poor? That doesn’t make any sense, because this place might be shit living space, but still costs premium due to the location. Neglectful? If they barely stay here, that might make some sense, but it’s still a weird place to choose. Maybe they were pressured by the village into a place where they could be easily monitored. .

Only it makes even less sense, because that’s short-sighted beyond belief and thus stupid to try on someone you expect to get multi-generational benefits out of.

In any case, there’s squat I can do about it, though I’ll be inviting her home as often as I can get away with. Just need a way to breach the topic without it sounding like I look down on her, so a diplomatic, personable and subtle approach would be for the best.

…

…

I’m screwed, aren’t I?

I’m not too happy with these last two chapters. The whole business feels awkward to me, or maybe choppy. Worst thing is I’m using them to set up a punchline and I’m not sure it’ll be up to snuff. Oh, well, I’m known to be my own harshest critic, maybe it’s all in my head. Hopefully at least you guys enjoyed it

On another note, next chapter is giving me a lot of trouble, so I might not be able to keep my unofficial schedule.

Planeshunter · Jun 6, 2020

009 - Karin Interlude: First Impressions

Scary men hurt Papa and took her and Mama to some strange place, and then they took Mama away. She was lonely and scared and everyone ignored her when she cried. Mama came back after a long time, but she wasn’t smiling. She said Papa was in the hospital and she had found a job so they would live now in this village, and that Karin would go to their Academy to learn with the other kids.

When we got to our new home, it was small and ugly, and she said so to Mama. Why couldn’t they get back to the caravan? She liked it more there, where she could feel the wind in her face and she could cuddle with Hibiki-oneechan during the night if it got cold.

But Mama said nothing, and she first thought she was in trouble. Instead, she got a bear hug and then Mama cried, and she really felt bad about making her sad. She promised she would be very good and obedient. Mama made her promise too that she wouldn’t get into trouble with the other kids.

When she got to school the following day, she wasn’t sure what to expect. So far she’d been taught by Mama and Papa, and sometimes Hibiki-neechan and the others, because there weren't enough kids in the caravan to make a class. Mama gave her a lot of advice about today, and made sure she memorized everything, but she didn’t feel very brave. Just talking about everything that could go wrong was very scary, even if Mama told her what to do to get out of trouble.

When she was introduced to the rest of the kids, she had a knot in her throat and she couldn’t really say anything. There were a lot of kids all staring at her, and she didn’t know if they would want to do the mean things Mama said they might, so she just looked down and let sensei do the introduction for her.

After sensei was done, she was told to find a desk. A quick peek around showed a girl sitting alone with a lot of free desks around. Actually, all the free desks in the classroom were around her, as if everyone tried to sit as far away from the girl as possible.

“Um…” The girl turns to look at her, and she has to stop to swallow another knot in her throat. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

The girl’s eyes widened a fraction, and for a moment she feared she’d upset her somehow. But in the end she smiled sharply and gestured at one of the free seats around her. “Sure, there’s room to spare.”

After taking her place, she thought it would be cool to befriend the girl. Or at least learn her name and talk with her a bit. If she could stay with the scary girl the other kids wouldn’t pick on her. But she didn’t know what to say. Everytime she peeked the girl’s way, she got cold feet and went back to staring at her desk.

But she couldn’t help it! Her only friend close to her age before this was Hibiki-neechan from the caravan, and they’re too different! Neechan had a warm and full face, with rosy cheeks that dimpled when she smiled, and her smile was warm and cheerful. This girl’s face was sharp and scary, and her smile was sharp and scary!

Hibiki-neechan has a black hair and cute pigtails, this girl doesn’t seem to care about cute. Her hair is short and sharp and scary and looks real mature and Karin has no idea how to talk to her!

She peeks her way again, and this time the girl is looking her way and catches her in the act. She immediately looks away, and there’s a moment of tense silence where she can feel the girl’s gaze boring a hole on her. Then…

“Nice weather we’re having, Doormat-chan.”

Everyone was calling her that afterwards. It’s like they never bothered to learn her name in the first place.
She was a bit miffed with the girl -Shimada Ran- afterwards, but she kept by her side. While it was unnerving to remain at arm’s length of the scary girl, she’d never said or done anything mean to her, beyond giving her that horrible nickname. And at that point that was the best option because everyone else was being horribly mean to Karin.

It was when she tried to go to the toilet and was shoved around and called names by them that she decided to never again leave the girl’s side while in school. She still did her best in class, of course, because she was a smart girl and smart girls get good grades. Even if it was hard to keep up with sensei’s lessons.

And then it was time for sparring, and everything went wrong.

Karin had never been a fighter. Both Papa and Mama could do really cool things and breathe fire and punch rocks and walk up trees, but when she asked about it they told her it was better if she never had to learn. Well, she had to learn now.

At first, she tried sitting aside and watching the rest without making a fuss and watching Shimada-san fight. She was as sharp and scary while fighting as she was at any other thing. Then that horrible girl picked her to spar with.

Haizuki-san was very strong too, even if she wasn’t as strong as Shimada-san or the boy sparring with her. But instead of defeating her quickly, she did her best to prolong the fight, hitting her in places that didn’t award points and avoiding knocking her down. To make things worse, she started saying mean things too.

She called her names, laughed at her and ridiculed her efforts. When she started badmouthing Mama and Papa, Karin had to bite her lip and remind herself she’d promised not to get into trouble. After almost a full hour of being manhandled and ridiculed, the horrible girl made an off-hand comment about her and Shimada-san, and she snapped.

She’s not sure why it was that comment that became the last straw. It wasn’t like the words were particularly horrible. Not worse than having her efforts and family laughed at. It’s not like she felt a particularly strong friendship for Shimada-san. In fact, she was more scared of the silent and sharp girl than anything else.

Maybe it was just the hour-long beating and constant stream of taunts that made her answer to those words when she’d managed to keep quiet so far. In any case, Haizuki-san smirked maliciously at her words, as if she’d won something.

“I’m sure the elders will love knowing that traitorous spawn associates with the dredges of the village.”

Those words meant nothing to her but, somehow, she couldn’t imagine them meaning anything good.

After getting back home, Karin spent the rest of the day studying to catch up with the other kids at school and waiting for Mama to come back home. When she finally arrived, it was very late and she looked very tired, but she still smiled at Karin and listened to her talk about her day.

Karin was very tempted to tell her she wanted to go back to the caravan, but she still remembered how Mama cried the day before and did her best to smile instead and ask when she could visit Papa in the hospital.

Mama cried again.
The next day Karin was feeling apprehensive again, if for different reasons. Shimada-san was still a mystery -a scary mystery- and Haizuki-san’s cryptic parting words filled her with unease. She wasn’t stupid either so, even if she didn’t know why, she’d noticed Mama was worried about the village learning Karin wasn’t happy here.

The day was nerve-wracking, and even Shimada-san’s few words looked like traps designed to make her say something she shouldn’t.

Like that time she asked about her opinion on the village. Or that time she openly ridiculed the lesson. That was actually interesting, because it made a lot of sense, but it still got her into trouble.

Then again, Shimada-san got into trouble too, so she didn’t know what to think about that.

“I packed an extra bento. Want to share?”

She wanted to… what?

Surprise made her look up and hold her gaze for the first time. Shimada-san’s eyes were grey and sharp, like polished steel, ready to strike her down in an instant, but no less beautiful for it. She just stood there, transfixed by the gaze. Until she realized Shimada-san was trembling slightly and she hurried to look down again and accept her offer. Hopefully she didn’t make her angry.

That was the first time in her life she thought something could be both beautiful and terrifying.
On another news, she didn’t have to wait long to figure out what Haizuki-san meant with her cryptic words the previous day. Overnight, the wary distance everyone kept around Shimada-san gained a tint of hostility. The mean looks and words addressed to her yesterday were now aimed at the two of them instead, including some very rude suggestions that had Karin blushing up a storm.

And yet, Shimada-san didn’t seem to care. Words and glares seemed to slide right off her and more overt actions.... Well. She sent one of Haizuki-san’s friends to the Nurse’s Office with a broken ankle when she tried to trip her. And there was a bear trap armed in her book bag! The girl who tried to slip a hand inside almost lost it! Even sensei was too scared to get involved!

If she had any doubt about Shimada-san being dangerous, that ended then.

And yet, and yet! In spite of everything, Ran never hits her, never yells at her or steals her things or even calls her mean things, after that one time. When she’s with the utterly terrifying girl, it’s only the ominous threat of her very existence she has to deal with. As scary as that is, it still beats the way everyone else is plain mean on her. So she’ll remain by her side, and watch and learn.

She would survive. She wasn't powerful and brave like the Uzu-nin from Mama's stories, but she was a smart girl, Mama says so. And she’d find a way to keep her promises.

Shorter than I’d like, and doesn’t do as good a job as I hoped showing things from another light, but it’ll have to do. It was taking forever and going nowhere, so I had to cut off the parts that were giving me the most trouble.

Planeshunter · Jun 9, 2020

Once upon a time, Steam had a sale on a package of Neptunia games. Thinking I really should know such a classic as something more than ‘oh, yeah, that’s a classic’. I grabbed it. Unfortunately, it didn’t do much for me, so it only saw about ten hours of play time back then.

But the other day I decided to give it another go and hoo boy! Once you realize you can skip all the repetitive combat animations the game improves a lot. My only problem now is finding time for other things…

010 - An eye for an eye (You’re doing it wrong)

“Hey, Deadeyes!” Mook #whatever calls from right behind me. “I hear your mom w—”

And then she didn’t call anyone anything else, because she was too busy getting up from the floor, and stemming the bleeding from her nose. My fist might’ve been involved.

I let out a sigh. It’s been a couple of weeks, and things have kept escalating. Slowly, because even if they don’t look the part, the children aspiring to become killing machines aren’t actually stupid, but they’re getting more daring. In a way, that might be a good thing.

Sometimes I wish they tried something with an actual chance of working, that they pushed me beyond the breaking point. That would at least make things interesting. Because this ‘campaign’ isn’t making me feel miserable or sad, or even pressured, really. I only grow weary and bored with their shit. Looking at it from this angle, this year has been nothing but trouble.

On the other hand, Karin. That’s a hell of a counterargument. Now if only I could manage to get something else than ‘Mama wants me to go straight home after school’ out of her, that would be grand. I’ve walked her home everyday, but so far I’ve had no luck meeting her mysterious mother.

… Maybe I could visit during the weekend? I toyed with that idea last week, but I’ve been busy catching up with my tutors. Obaa-san still has me practicing with the brush most of the time, but the assigned strokes have grown remarkably complex after my vacation. It feels good to have to actually try, but it’s still a horrible time sink.

Onee-chan on the other hand has decided I’m responsible enough to start mixing things for real. Heh, to think it only took f—

My train of thought gets interrupted once we arrive at the classroom and I see what’s waiting for us there.

At first, I stare in incomprehension at the flower vase sitting on Karin’s table. Then, a faraway memory clicks, just a bit of trivia from another life, about funerary rites in a faraway country and how they might be applied to bullying(1).

My first impulse is to laugh it off. And I don’t mean acting like it didn’t matter, no. I mean laughing my ass off at the stupid idea, possibly ridicule the idiot who came up with it and question their intelligence as I cackle madly. But then I notice Karin’s eyes tearing up, and instead take her hand and guide her to our seats.

There, I move the vase to my own desk and help her sit before taking a seat myself. Deep breath, I don’t know why this affected her so much, but I can at least make light of the situation, right? With the swiftness that comes from long hours practicing hand seals, I weave the flowers into a tiara that’s promptly put on my head. Then I pocket the vase.

… What? It’s a stained glass vase of suspiciously high quality. I have no idea why it was used for this, but I suspect someone is going to answer uncomfortable questions about family heirlooms disappearing from the dining room.

Back to what matters, Karin isn’t laughing at my antics, but she doesn’t seem to be at the verge of tears anymore and I’ll count that as a win. Now the question is what is it that I’ve missed to get her this upset. Actually, how to go about figuring it out without acting like an insensitive berk is the real question.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” … Smooth, brain. You come up with the best lines.

Karin turns away from me, staring into her desk as she’s done so often before. “_{Papa died last night.}” Four words, spoken so softly a normal person wouldn’t have heard them, a blink and even I would’ve missed them, and yet...

“Karin.” Those four words have drained all the cheer from my mood.

“Y… yes?” She looks back up at my words, feeling a seriousness in my tone that I’ve never used before. But the situation well deserves it.

“I’m going to hug you now, okay?”

“Eh?”

“Hey doormat-chan!” Unfortunately, we’re interrupted by Mook #whocares. “I heard someone died! One less mouth to mooch off the village’s goodwill, if you ask me!”

I see red.

(1) In Japan, when a student dies, it’s customary to leave a flowerpot on their desk. This has been used as part of bullying campaigns in the past, puting the vase on the desk of the victim, as a sort of ‘wish you were dead’ or ‘you’re dead to us’... etc. You get the idea.

As it was somewhat inevitable, my shenanigans landed me in the Principal’s office. At least Karin didn’t get dragged into my trouble. Which is good. Because the Academy is mainly manned by chunin rejects who couldn’t aspire to anything else, but… The Principal is a bit different.

At first glance, the man is just old and smarmy-looking, with the sort of presence that’s easy to dismiss. Don’t let that deceive you though, he served as shinobi before retiring to a cozy desk job, like everyone who is someone in this village did. A condecorated career in the T&I division, to be precise. The sort of guy that’ll figure out whether or not you need interrogation just by how you look around, and will pull the intel out of you using just a rubber duck and a basket of figs.

His clan was decimated during the Third War -that’s what finally made Grass stop fence-sitting and assist Konoha, by the way- and years later Zetsu kinda hors d'oeuvred most of the survivors before deserting. And now that I mention it, I wonder if there was something more to those apparently unconnected events. Like for example Danzo. While in doubt, always blame Danzo.

But I digress. Case is he comes from a once powerful family and is respected enough by the village at large. He might command little political power nowadays, but more than enough to cling to his position in the Academy like a limpet in spite of any maneuver to remove him from here. The fact that most young-to-middle-aged shinobi in the village grew up with him as an authority figure to respect kinda helps with that. Especially because few shinobi actually survive long enough to grow old.

Why do I know so much about the Principal when I care so little about people? Because, in spite of popular opinion, I can think ahead. A person with my social skills in an environment full of teenagers trained for war? It was never a question of whether I’d end up here or not, just a
matter of when.

Anyway, here I am, standing in front of his desk and trying very hard not to show how uncomfortable this situation makes me feel. There’s a chair I could’ve sat on, an awfully short and uncomfortable-looking chair that screams ‘power play’. Or maybe plan ‘mindfuckery’, you can never be sure with his type. In any case, I’d rather stand, thank you ver much.

Behind me, and close enough I can almost feel his breath at my nape, stands some vaguely random chunin that may or may not be part of the Academy student body.

Yeah… Narutaki-sensei still has a class to teach, so he asked this guy to escort me to the Principal’s office. No idea why he’s still here though, pretty sure the Principal doesn’t need an escort to deal with rowdy kids, prodigious or not. Maybe it’s just more mindfuckery. Well, not just mindfuckery. Twenty grand says he’ll shiv the fuck out of my liver if I even hint at moving funny.

It’s been a good fifteen minutes since I was dragged here and the Principal received a rather biased explanation of the incident. Instead of chewing my head off like decent, upfront figures of authority do, he just told us to wait and focused back on his paperwork.

Seriously, this guy’s mindfuckery is the real deal. A quarter of an hour standing here, with a man who can kill me in the blink of an eye standing right behind, while being pointedly ignored by the guy who maybe doesn’t have the authority to order me killed but sure is savvy enough to get away with it anyway. I’ve felt the tension mounting with every tick and tack of the clock. Sweet Akasha, I would kill for a distraction about now.

“With all due respect, sir.” The chunin finally cracks, as if answering my prayers. “I already explained the situation, shouldn’t we be talking about disciplinary measures? What are we waiting for?”

“That would be me you’re waiting for.”

I freeze. My brain freezes. My mind freezes and my soul freezes. Because that’s Mother’s voice and she sounds unamused.

“Ah, Shimada-dono,” The smarmy Principal greets uneasily, clearly unhappy about having to do this. “Do you know why you were called here?”

“Not yet, but I hope someone will explain in the next five seconds why I had to leave my home in a hurry to attend, and I quote ‘A most pressing incident involving your daughter’.”

“Most pressing incident indeed.” The man behind me growls. “Your daughter attacked another student unprovoked, in front of the whole class. We still haven’t heard anything approaching an explanation from her. Or any hint of regret, while we’re at it.”

“And why should I bother?” I shoot back. These thinly veiled attempts at railroading me are starting to get annoying. “It would be my word against the whole class. Why don’t you look underneath the underneath like a good shinobi is supposed to do, and stop justifying your heavy-handed incompetence on obviously biased reports?”

Mother arches a brow at my choice of words, and I have to suppress a wince. ‘Look underneath the underneath’ is a favorite quote of a certain Leaf shinobi, one Mother might’ve dealt with personally but I sure as hell haven’t. She doesn’t say anything though, focusing back on the Principal. Crisis averted. I’ll think about this again never. Thank you very much.

“I think that’ll be detention for the remainder of the semester, Simada-kun.” He announces, before pausing for a moment to eye Mother with an indecipherable expression. “Plus any measure Shimada-dono deems appropriate.”

I… feel strangely okay with this verdict? I mean, fair is fair and I’m the first to agree that actions should have consequences. I lost my cool and did something someone will regret, so it would feel wrong to just walk away unscathed. You could say the punishment is even in my favor, depending on what Mother ‘deems appropriate’.

Sure, I lost pretty much any personal freedom for the foreseeable future with that punishment. Sure, training sessions at home will probably become something gruesome. But the idiot who so unpleasantly laughed at Karin’s plight will be wearing an eyepatch the rest of her life.

You don’t mess with my friends, bitch.

“That’s all?” The chunin jumps in indignation. “Detention and a slap in the wrist? Excuse me sir, but that’s bullshit.”

“Oh?” Mother’s tone is calm, dangerously calm. Like ten tons of snow in a precarious balance on a mountainside are calm. “Do you believe you can discipline my daughter better than myself?”

“Well, I sure wouldn’t leave it at that! How would you feel if I gouged your daughter's eyes out right here, right now, ma’am?” I start to wonder how this person managed to earn the chunin rank. Maybe he’s trying some kind of backwards psychology on us, but I’ll put money on him just being a suicidal idiot.

The Principal winces, Mother arches a brow, I blink in disbelief. Then there’s a popping sound and, for a second, we all stare dumbly at Mother, who is now holding an eyeball on her hand. As she crushes it with a fist, the suicidal idiot finally catches on what just happened and has barely enough time to take a hand to his now empty eyeshocket before collapsing with a howl of pain.

… Wow. Was that [Substitution Jutsu]?

“You threaten a Shimada child in front of her mother and expect to leave unscathed?” Mother asks with the calm voice of one so far past rage it comes right out the other side. “That was a warning, you’ll do well in remembering I can do way worse.”

“Mother?” I whisper while the idiot rushes out the room, presumably towards the Nurse’s Office. “Wasn’t that Great-Grandfather’s jutsu?”

“Shimada Forbidden Scroll, you’ll learn when you’re older” She whispers back. Then she turns toward the Principal. “Principal? I believe we’re done here.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” The man looks a bit green. For such a seasoned T&I veteran to be so badly shaken… As expected of Mother. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you again, Shimada-dono.”

“I loathe to tell others how to do their job, but...” She fixes her glasses with a hand, holding the door open so I can leave first. “Is that really the best the Academy can afford?”

“Please forgive him, he’s usually more level-headed than that. But the wounded girl is her niece, he didn’t take her injury well.”

Guh. Everyone has loved ones somewhere don’t they? Even the bastards trying to make our lives hell love and are loved by other people. No matter the circumstances, you’ll always be the villain in someone else’s story.

Well, shit. Now I feel like a jerk.

… Still ripping her other eye if she tries again, tho.

So… like mother like daughter, I guess? I’m really hoping the things I don’t say are hinting at the thing I want them to hint at, if that makes any sense. But if you think something doesn’t make sense, please let me know. I’ll at least be able to tell you whether that’s intentional or just me messing up.

Planeshunter · Jun 11, 2020

Fun fact! For the first and only time so far, I have a script for this story. Or maybe I should say I already wrote it once, in a much more simplified fashion, and what I’m writing now is the extended version. In any case, this whole chapter was a single line in the original script. Funny how things get out of hand sometimes, eh?

011 - Facing the aftermath (and being kinda ok with it?)

“I’m sorry!!”

I blink in surprise at the girl bowing and apologizing in front of me. Karin has been specially quiet all day today, something I was more than happy to indulge her in, considering she just lost her father. So, once I returned from the meeting with the Principal, I made sure to give her some breathing space.

I had some concerns of my own, so I somehow managed to rein the urge to just hug the sad out of her. Mother didn’t spare a word in my direction since we left the office and I might worry she’s angry at me, if not for the very hard to miss fact that she just gouged an eye out of someone as an answer to a vague threat.

Mother is a woman of few words but, as they say, actions speak louder. Which, by the way, doesn’t mean I’m out of trouble just yet. Not looking forward to whatever is waiting for me back home, not looking forward to it at all.

Detention might be somewhat troublesome too. What sort of punishments are the norm here? Can you believe I wasn’t punished last year? Not even once? If they just force me to study and/or train, that I can handle. If this place favors the kind of mind-numbing and pointless tasks that serve no purpose beyond making me feel miserable though, the inproductivity of it all might make drive crazy.

Stupid Shimada blood…

“It was my fault!” Karin continues, apparently taking my silent musings as cue to explain herself. “It’s all my fault!”

“... wat.” Because yeah, that doesn’t actually explain anything.

“This all started because I told Haizuki-san you were my friend!” Again, that doesn’t… oh. Sweet, sweet summer child, the world doesn’t revolve around you, you know? Sometimes things are so beyond your control that your actions can’t influence them at all. Sometimes, you’re just a convenient excuse.

But not even I am clumsy enough to say that out loud. So, how to go about comforting her?

“Aren’t you my friend, though?” She freezes for a second, my question obviously catching her by surprise, but in the end she nods. “Then you did nothing wrong. Ryūzetsu has had it for me since we first met, if it wasn’t our friendship, she would’ve found something different to use against me.”

“But if you’d neve—”

“Stop.” I cut her. No way I’m letting this turn into an emo broodfest, Karin is too precious for that shit. And we’re not even teenagers yet, so there’s no excuse. “Karin, I’m glad I befriended you. Ryūzetsu making a nuisance out of herself isn’t going to change that. The question is, do you regret being my friend?”

She finally looks up. Her cheeks are flushed and suspiciously wet, and her eyes are puffy and red, but she manages a shaky smile and shakes her head.

“Then nothing else matters.” I declare in my best imitation of Mother’s no-nonsense tone. “Now, I think I still owe you a hug from this morning...”

Let me tell you guys, Karin is as cuddly and huggable as she looks. And I have more than enough time to enjoy it on the way back to her home, because she refuses to let me go, walking all the way back there with her face buried on my clothes and one of my arms around her shoulder. It’s not very conducive to conversation, but I can’t care about that because my heart is melting.

It also gives me time to consider the situation. Somehow, it comes as no surprise that Ryūzetsu is to blame for this new development. Sweet Madoka, it’s even good news! Better a spoiled child with a grudge than a grand manipulator in the shadows. As far as I knew this morning, this could all be a plot by fucking Madara to convert me to the dark side or some suck tripe.

I don’t hate Ryūzetsu, I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. She is quite literally a child who doesn’t know better. For what I’ve seen of the Haizuki clan, her actions are a mix of repeating what she sees back home, and putting into action idle comments of adults without realizing they’re not to be taken that seriously.

I really wish someone called her on her bullshit though. Because, if she grows up thinking this crap is fine and she internalizes it all, she’ll become an adult I can legitimately hate.

My thoughts are interrupted when Karin slowly gets away from me. Wha—? Oh, we have arrived. Without trading a word, I watch her fumble with her keys to open the locked door. Then, she pauses for a moment, turns to look at me, looks back at the half-open door, takes a deep breath and looks back at me, with a small smile in her lips.

“I’ll ask Mama to let me hang out with you after class. Thankyoufortodayseeyoutomorrow!!”

She then retreats into her home before I can muster a reply, door closing behind her faster than I can blink. Huh… Definitively counting today as a win, after all.

For some reason, I’m finding it hard to actually step into home today. As in, I’ve spent a good five minutes standing at the door. It’s almost as if some sort of instinct warned me about it, like how I always imagined knights would feel in front of the dragon’s lair. At least the lucky bastards didn’t have their Mother waiting inside.

Well, no sense in procrastinating. Better brave the bull and bite the bullet. Or should I say brave the boss summon and bite the kunai? Since I live in a shinobi world and bullets here are a joke and… Right, I’m digressing. With a last prayer to Din, Farore and Nayru, I take a long breath and step in.

“I’m home.” I call, like always.

“Welcome home.” I hear back. The ‘I’m in the kitchen and you better come straight here right now, young lady’ is kinda implied.

Still, I have already steeled my resolve. Whatever is waiting for me, I’ll face it with the dignity of a proper Shimada. No matter what happens next, I’m ready for it. Or so I thought. Oh, how wrong I was.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for what I found there.

Standing at the back of the kitchen, back to the stove, frying pan in one hand and her ‘#1 Mom’ mug in the other, Mother receives me with a soft smile. No, let me rephrase that so it has the proper gravitas. Mother receives me with a soft smile.

And… Is that omurice I’m smelling?

“Mother?”

“Sit down, I’m about to serve dinner.”

I just nod and hurry to obey. The unexpected situation might have me a bit weirded out, but this certainly beats the dressing down I was expecting. So we eat in silence, Mother’s eyes on me all along, a strangely soft look on her face. I won’t say it was relaxing, because whoever relaxes around Mother doesn’t have survival instincts, but it was certainly nice.

Before I knew it, my dish was empty. What? Omurice is still my favorite, got a problem?

“You’ve always been a notably easy child to raise.” She finally breaks the silence. “At some point, as proud as I was of my smart child, I also was a bit disappointed at how you never seemed to need much help with anything. But I guess, with time, I grew used to not needing to.”

I gulp. It’s easy to see where this conversation is going, the implication this time I do need the attention is pretty blatant, after all. But that’s not what has formed a knot on my throat. No, I can face the consequences of my actions with my head high. Her choice of words, on the other hand…

“Law and rules exist to keep chaos at bay.” She continues slowly, picking her words carefully. “For a civilization to prosper, the whims of the few must be, sometimes, curtailed to safeguard the needs of the many. The status quo exists for a reason, and shouldn’t be rocked recklessly. That’s why discipline is so valued in society, it’s the quality which allows us to follow rules that aren’t strictly beneficial to us. To support the bigger picture, at the cost of our immediate comfort.”

I agree with that, on principle. How could I not? My whole life -this one life- has been built around ignoring immediate pain to build up long term benefits, that’s what training and studying boils down to. But what was I supposed to do? Curl up and let them step all over me? All over Karin?

“That said, the law isn’t, and simply cannot be, perfect. Exceptional situations and outliers will always challenge rules set in place to regulate everyday behaviour. And that’s without considering the ever present problem that is corruption. The lazy approach to that fact is to favor mediocrity, and force extremes to conform to rules that are a poor fit for them.” I feel my eyes widen as understanding dawns, and Mother’s smile sharpens. “Defying a set of rules that work for society as a whole, even if they don’t fit you personally, it’s something that takes courage.”

I… I might’ve blushed a little, okay? It’s not everyday Mother heaps praise on me like this!

“And yet, humanity is self-centered by definition. It’s all too easy to view any rule that’s inconvenient as something to be defied and forget they are there, first and foremost, so society can exist in the first place. Forgetting that is as stupid as conforming to poorly fit rules is lazy.”

Right, I wouldn’t like to become a whiny brat thinking rules don’t apply to me.

“Why is this or that rule in place? How does it affect me? Do I need to break it, or there’s a way to bend it in my favour? Can I get away with breaking it? And if I can’t, will trampling over the ashes of civilization be a cost worth paying? Those are all questions you should keep in mind.”

Mother? I think your speech wandered away from morality at some point… Also, what the hell! One of the questions there isn’t even in the same league as the rest!

“Having the discipline to follow the rules is praiseworthy, as it is to have the courage to defy them. The mark of perfection though, what would make any mother proud of her child, it’s to have the wisdom to know when to apply each.”

Ah! There it is, the P-word again, making my heart throb and swell with joy.

You have to understand. All through my life, Mother has always been very careful not to make me feel pressured to become something I didn’t want to be, but I have always wondered.

Can I really make her proud, without choosing the same path she did? Pressure or not, she’s never made a secret that she’d like me following her footsteps. I know Mother better than I know anyone else, maybe better than I know myself. She’ll never straight out say she’s proud of me, the same way I’ll never straight out ask.

No matter how much we want to, we’re simply not wired that way.

That’s why these roundabout ways are so important to us. For all the fear we’re misreading each other, this is the closest we’ll get to speaking our hearts out. That is, assuming I’m not misreading everything, of course.

Stupid Shimada blood.

“That said, this business back in the Academy...” Mother’s voice drags me out of my head. I almost flinch when I parse through her words. This is when the sentence is passed, and I get condemned to hell on Earth, isn’t it?

“Yes, Mother?”

“... Do you want help?” My thoughts screech to a halt. That’s not… that’s not what she was supposed to say!

At the same time, that’s exactly what she would’ve said. Not stating she’ll help, not asking whether I need it. Just… ‘Do you want help?’ Letting me know there’s an easy way out, but neither assuming I’ll need it, nor taking the decision out of my hands. That’s… so very Mother.

The question caught me flat-footed though, so I have to stop what I’m doing to focus on my answer.

Do I want help? The situation is getting old very fast, and I see no easy resolution at hand. But honestly, I don’t want help. I’m no Draco Malfoy to go crying to my parent’s skirt the second something doesn’t go my way. I wouldn’t like anything more than solving my own problems by myself.

In this case, I’m tempted, so very tempted, to ask for help. Organised bullying is a nasty business and they’re involving Karin on it, so I think it’s justified to rely on Mother this one time. Yes, I shouldn't let her suffer just to appease my pride. Having found my answer, I take a deep breath and give my answer.

“Thank you, Mother. But that won’t be necessary.”

… I’ve never hated so much my stupid Shimada blood before.

Planeshunter · Sep 22, 2020

Ugh, I feel this chapter ebnded up rather dry in spite of my efforts, but at the same time I want to be done with the Academy years in less than a hundred chapters, so I’m trying not to get into much detail. Might’ve backfired a teensy little bit.

012 - Second Year (Bored now, next year please!)

The next day I’m a bit apprehensive about meeting Karin. Will she be scared of me now that she’s had time to process what happened yesterday? Will she avoid me today? I mean, shinobi culture or not, to just up and maim a fellow student for an insult isn’t something you see every day.

… And I still fail at being sorry about it. Stupid Shimada blood.

So maybe my greetings are a bit hesitant that day, and maybe her answer is even more subdued than usual. The whole day she avoids talking, but also goes out of her way to remain close, sending nervous looks my way all the while. Is that what they mean by ‘getting mixed signals’? Not sure what to think, I tell myself she’s still grieving her father and it’s understandable that she doesn't feel like talking.

At least the rest of the kids give me a wide berth. That’s right, fear me! For I’ve become Death, Gouger of Orbs!

Things come to a close when the last bell rings, and Karin grabs my sleeve before I can stand up. She’s acting extra nervous and hesitant, but there’s also a glint in her eyes I can’t identify when she manages to look straight at me. Is she mad? Is she going to break up with me? Is she so afraid of my reaction she doesn’t even know how to put it? I never wanted to scare her off!!

“Um… I told Mama about yesterday and…” And she told her to keep the hell away from the crazy murderous girl. I… I can understand. It hurts, but I can’t afford to do anything stupid now and scare her even worse, it’s my fault and mine alone tha— “And she said it’s fine to go play with you in the evenings! She’ll come pick me up at your home when she’s done for the day.”

I… what? Couldn’t she have said that in the morning?

“That is… um… If you’d still have me?” She fidgets nervously, but doesn’t release her grip on my clothes. “I’ll understand if you’re angry with me after all….”

“Yes!” I might put a bit more emphasis than intended, but I refuse to blush. “Mother left on a Mission today, so it’ll be just us and my tutors, and obaa-san has me doing boring things the whole evening but now that you’re here I’m sure we can make the most out of our time and— I mean, of course I’ll have you, Karin, it’ll be my pleasure to entertain you from now on.”

… I said I’m not blushing, saddap!

“That’s all nice and well, Shimada, Uzumaki.” Narutaki-sensei’s voice drags me out of my self-denial world. “But I seem to remember one of you has a couple hours of detention before she can leave for the day.”

Ugh… yeah… that. Consequences. I’m not about to renege on them, especially when I think they’re well-deserved. Double specially when it’s the first chance to prove my resolve, and I don’t want to imagine the disappointed look Mother will send my way if I even dream of trying to weasel out of this.

But man, does it have a horrible timing…

“Maybe I can… stay?” Karin seems to surprise herself by interjecting, and visibly shrinks when we turn our attention to her. “It would be like extra credit? Sensei said I need to do a lot of studying to catch up with the class...”

That’s it! Nice going, Karin! Narutaki-sensei seems hesitant to accept the proposal, so I give him my best pitiful look so he knows how important this is to me, it seems to be effective.

After much humming and hemming, he finally takes pity on our plight and allows for Karin to stay. Or, as he puts it, he’s not going to ‘keep a young lady from devoting extra time to studying out of her own initiative’.

Can’t believe I was angry with him about not stopping the bullying. Clearly he’s doing all he can and it’s just that nameless chunin don’t want to risk openly acting against Ryūzetsu’s family in this village. Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes I forget how much Mother’s name covers my ass.

Detention turns out to be a fairly subdued business. Narutaki-sensei leads us to a classroom with some other brats from different years. Sensei talks with three slightly older brats that apparently are going to be watching over us. Must be a genin team. Huh, so this is how shitty D-ranks work in Grass? Good to know.

Narutaki leaves some theoretical work for us to go through and leaves the place, presumably to have a well deserved break. Or maybe drown his stress on alcohol. Poor guy has been looking more and more harried since the year began, no trace of the bright-eyed enthusiastic newbie he was last year.

One of the genin lets out a whistle after spying my assignments over my shoulder. Rude… “Right, we’ve been assigned here for just two hours.” He announces. “I don’t care how hard your assignments are or how much you’ve pissed your sensei, you have until we leave to finish. I don’t want to hear any complaints if you’re not done by then!”

His face when I finished in twenty minutes was glorious, I wish I had a camera. For a moment, he looks at his two partners, and the three of them seem to flounce about what to do with me. If I was a suspicious girl I would think the assignments weren’t intended to be finished in the allotted time.

...Jerks.

In the end they declare I should self-study and that ‘you brat better don’t get up to any trouble, you hear?’. Holding back the eye roll until I’ve turned away from them takes a supreme effort of will. Then, after an hour of detention, Karin finishes her own assignments and the trio’s groan has the whole room explode in laughter.

All in all it wasn’t a bad use of two hours. Might even miss this once I’m done with detentions.

Then we’re finally released, and Karin throws me a nervous smile before letting me take the lead. As we walk the path home I can’t help but feel a teensy bit nervous myself. This is the first time Karin visits home. Will she find it boring? It’s quite the big place, and there are only two residents, with Mother barely being there at all. Katekyo A and B do try to fill in when they’re around and it’s appreciated, but it’s just not the same.

How am I supposed to even introduce them? ‘Karin, this is nee-san. She teaches me how to mix poison, also has a killer pudding recipe. But she’s not really my nee-san.’ or ‘Karin, this is obaa-san. She teaches me how to blow shit up with a brush and an inkwell. But she’s not really me obaa-san’. Yeah, doesn’t sound great in my mind either.

Distracted with that, I only realize we’re already there when Karin asks about the handseals I’m performing in front of the entrance. She makes a strange face when I explain to her I’m deactivating the anti-theft measures. I wonder why? She’s already told me she used to travel the land, and her mom is an Uzumaki, no way this is her first experience with security seals.

A note from Katekyo A explaining she’s got some urgent business and apologising for cancelling today’s session in such a short notice has me discreetly pumping a fist where nowhere can see. This way I can show off properly without anyone getting on my case about my studies. Still, that first day Karin is almost painfully shy about visiting.

Even I can’t miss the tells when she’s doing things like following me to the kitchen instead of staying in my room when I went to make snacks or leaving my side exactly once, to use the toilet. I don’t really mind her keeping close, but I sure hope she grows used to this place and relaxes a bit soon.

To that effect, I shift through half-forgotten memories from a lifetime ago, scrambling to find some games Karin might enjoy playing with me. Hand-eye coordination games with ankle bones or peebles, skipping with an improvised rope or jumping around with various playground games I never thought I’d see again.

It doesn’t work as well as I’d hope, and have to cheat -so I lose- fairly often, but I’d like to believe it’s having some effect. Good! That way, when I inevitably mess up in the future, it won’t be a death sentence to our friendship… Speaking of death sentences… that reminds me Karin hasn’t met Mother yet.

I struggle to imagine a scenario where that goes well.

I’ll never understand how the schoolyard food chain works. Never understood it in my first life, never understood it here. When I was alone, all it took was a handful of sharp comments and maybe reducing someone to tears with words alone for everybody to leave me alone. I was outside the chain altogether.

But now that I’m defending Karin, they’re convinced I’ve grown soft and not even causing grievous permanent harm is enough to get them to back off for long. They act like stupid flies buzzing around a horse on a hot day, quick to disperse when confronted but equally quick to come back, as if they just forgot the results of their previous attempts in a matter of hours.

Unfortunately, after another couple of violent -if far more subdued than Cyclops-chan incident- squabbles, the Academy has run out of reasonable methods of punishment. If I’m caught in something else, I’ll be pulled out of the program. Funny how that would’ve sounded fantastic a year ago, but now I’m emotionally invested in Karin. Now that I mention it, didn’t I at some point resolve to not befriend her? What happened with my willpower?

In any case, I had to switch tactics. Training incidents happen everywhere, and if they all seem to befall the most unpleasant individuals in the class… well, it couldn’t have happened to a better guy. And if it so happens I stared down the victim making sure he or she sees my vicious smirk… Well, I’m a resentful bitch and I can’t bother feigning worry about someone I don’t like, that’s just life.

I would say their attempts utterly failed at bothering me, but that’s not actually true. Because I don’t feel like leaving Karin alone with this swarm of flies, I was forced to drop my advanced classes to remain with her. That did bother me. Sure, I still got the advanced assignments and tried to get by with self-study, but it’s simply not the same.

I was forced to slow down, because I didn’t ask for help when I had the chance.

Stupid Shim—

Actually, that means I had the whole day with Karin. Good job, Shimada blood!

Between punishments and celebrations, it takes a good couple of months for things to settle into a new routine.

In the mornings, assuming Mother is out on a mission, I wake up to do my morning practice before making breakfast and packing a bento for the day. Then off to school I go. When Mother is at home though, I’m woken up to do my hellish morning practice instead. At least Mother takes pity on me and cooks herself those days.

At least this routine seems to get Mother into cooking. At some point I caught her sealing a shepherd’s pie into a scroll while preparing for a mission. It warms one’s heart to know one’s family is finally eating properly.

On a normal day classes start by meeting Karin at the entrance, and we go through there depending on the day’s plan. The idea to go pick her up at home in the mornings was tempting, but we already spend most of the day with her and don’t want to be creepy.

Is it normal for girlfriends to do everything together at this age? I seem to remember something along those lines form my last life, but… well, you know, blurry memories and all that. Don’t even know if that’s first hand knowledge or just urban legends, so practically blazing a new trail here.

Anyway theoretical classes are kind of a mix. We have at one side the classes I used to take advanced lessons in, where I now ignore the world around me to go through material far too advanced for Karin to follow while she focuses on the teacher’s lesson.

On the other hand, we have the lessons where I have to pay attention. I now have someone who listens when I poke holes through inconsistencies and brainwashing. Karin’s reactions shift between scandalized and amused, and as hard as she tries to keep a serious and respectful face at the Academy, I’m proud to say I get some snorts out of her from time to time.

Uh… don’t you misunderstand anything, we haven’t earned extra detentions after that one time the second day. I can learn from my mistakes, thank you very much. All of this is done with a generous sprinkle of tolerance towards my classmates’ antics. Or taking note of those I don’t feel like tolerating for some sweet payback during sparring lessons.

Physical is a bit different, because it’s clear Karin can’t keep up and needs some help not to lower her overall scores. That’s fine by me, it keeps me occupied during otherwise dull classes. After training with Mother, 90% of the Academy physicals feel like a joke to me. Not to offend, but playing the onee-sama role for a cutie cuddly redheaded brainiac is a better use of my time.

The ten percent I actually have to pay attention to are my spars with Muku. Have I mentioned lately how much of a monster the guy is? Sometimes I feel like I have to risk life and limb just to pull off a draw. From time to time Ryūzetsu insists on sparring with me, something that never happens without her input. I have to assume she’s pressured the teachers into some arrangement where she only fights me when she feels she has a good chance.

She’s… she puts up a fight. Certainly better than the rest of the class. But she has nothing on Muku. I take great pleasure in reminding her that her boyfriend is both stronger and cuter than her. Vindictive you say? No idea what you’re talking about.

This year I have a grievous enemy I have to defeat. And that means any underhanded method I can get my grubby, childish hands on are fair game. For you see, nothing less than my prodigiousness at full power stands even the slightest chance to succeed against this titanic quest. But that matters not! Because I’m determined to make others suffer any indignity and carry any reasonable burden for this worthy goal!

Yeah, No matter what we’re going to properly celebrate Mother’s birthday this year.

Oh, sure, laugh it up! Shall I remind you how things went last year? I wasn’t even there when she opened my gift! She was out the whole day! And it’ll have to be a surprise, because there’s no point otherwise.

So this requires careful planning and daring maneuvering. How do you tie down a workaholic like Mother without ruining the surprise party in the process? Some would go through half-cooked plans to draw her attention with other events, or try to abuse her trust by feigning sickness so she’d remain by their side.

That last one wouldn’t have worked anyway, I haven’t been sick a single day in my life, so she wouldn’t buy it.

… Stupid Shimada blood.

Anyway! I’m a real predator. I study the prey and figure out the striking points with a highest chance of success. I don’t waste time on overly elaborate plans that have a thousand points of failure, but rather go for that single, critical chance that allows me to sever the problem in one blow. I go for the weakest link.

Like a true shinobi!

So I dress in my cutest outfit and go see the lady in the mission office, then ask her to pretty please ‘give my mama a mission that won’t keep her away from the village that day’. Obviously, she laughs in my face. ‘Cute’ just doesn’t work on me. Plan B it is.

… I’m not ashamed to admit I dragged Karin with me and made her ask on my behalf after my own failure. Worked like a charm, too. Nobody can resist those huge eyes tearing up. Well, nobody with a soul, I haven’t forgotten the state she arrived at the academy. Still owe a beating to someone for that.

After we’re done with that and I’ve had a talk with a certain pottery for this year’s gift, we stumble with the problem of Karin not having her own allowance to get a gift. I have to fight down a smile at that, it won’t do for her to misunderstand and think I’m happy about her financial situation.

It’s just that Karin has this... ‘minion’ feeling around her, you know? Following my lead everywhere and in everything, shy and insecure, and never speaking for herself. I’m not happy about it, but I don’t have the heart to throw her into the deep end so she learns some independence either.

Hearing she wants to get her own gift for Mother instead of just helping me with mine warms the heart. Especially because I’m half-convinced Mother scares Karin to death.

Fortunately, I have wisdom beyond my years, coming from a life before life! When a nine years old wants to make a gift for an adult, spending money is not the usual way to go about it. So I take Karin on a binge through Kusa’s many gardens, which are a smorgasbord of beautiful flowers to make a bouquet with.

We might’ve gotten into trouble because picking flowers from public gardens isn’t strictly legal.

We might’ve dodged the trouble with liberal use of smoke bombs and running for our lives.

We might’ve arrived home with barely enough time to get everything ready before Mother herself arrived.

“I’m home.” Mother calls from the entrance, exactly loud enough for her voice to carry to us.

“Welcome home!” I call back, hurriedly straightening up the lighted candles on the cake and giving the finishing touches to the table.

I have no idea how old Mother is, that’s something I never had the courage to ask, so instead they’re letter candles reading ‘#1 Mom’. As soon as she enters the room the both of you are ready for her.

“Happy Birthday Mother!”
“Happy Birthday, Shimada-sama!”

It only lasts an instant, and she’s quick to go back to normal and thanking us for the party. For someone not used to Mother, it would’ve been nothing. But it doesn’t escape me how she froze for an instant at the scene. Damn woman forgot about her birthday again!

Things don’t really get animated, because Karin still doesn’t feel very confident around Mother and ‘animated’ just isn’t the way things work around Mother anyway, but we still have a nice enough snack dinner, topped up with my best peach and lily cake. And lemme tell you, detoxifying the lilies without ruining the flavour wasn’t fun.

… Mother’s favorite, don’t ask.

When it comes to presents, she unwraps my gift to find a ‘#1 Mom’ soup bowl. This has her sending an unamused look my way, that I can’t help but answer with a tiny smirk full of smugness. Time to start taking your broth the proper way, woman!

I’m a bit upset when, instead of putting Karin’s bouquet into a vase. she hangs it upside down. It's her day though, if Mother wants to upset my best friend for Mother reasons I don’t really understand, then I don’t have to like it, but I’m not going to act out either.

Turns out, it’s a good thing I didn’t. Because a week later we came home to find the bouquet, now dried and preserved, resting proud in an honor place in the living room. They’ll easily last ten times longer than fresh, and Karin couldn’t stop smiling the whole evening, but Mother sure could’ve explained her plans right from the start.

The year continued without any big upset and, before I knew, it was Summer again.

Planeshunter · Jun 20, 2020

013 - How to spend ludicrously and overindulge (Future Ran won’t forgive me this one)

All along the year, I’ve never known Karin’s mother very well, only meeting her when she comes to pick up her daughter in the evenings after she’s done with her own job, and we’ve never traded more than polite greetings.

She’s just Uzumama, a slight woman of pale skin and harried behaviour whose only remarkable feature is a huge slash scar down her forehead and who looks permanently at the border of physical exhaustion. There’s no sign of the hailed Uzumaki vitality to be found on her. Maybe she’s naturally sickly, or maybe she simply doesn’t conform to stereotypes.

Case is, I didn’t even know her name -Uzumaki Kurisu- until last week. Things are a bit different now though. I can’t afford to alienate allies a week away from the biggest event in living memory. Today is June 13th, and the last week has seen me dedicate my very limited free time to prepare for it.

What happens on June 20th that has me in such a tizzy? I’ll give you a moment to google it.

Tick tock time’s up! Those who said ‘Karin’s birthday’ have a cookie. What’s more, it’s her first birthday since we met.

… No, I didn’t remember outright from my last life. Birthdays were never all that relevant to the plot, and apparently I wasn’t obsessed enough to memorize them from their bios. A strange line to draw when I know for a fact I consumed all the official releases, be it manga, anime, movie, light novel or videogame. Or maybe my faulty pre-Ran memory isn’t good enough for small details like those. But ‘not creepy’ is my story and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, there’ll never be another birthday like this one, so I think I’m justified going a bit crazy about it. That includes coordinating with Uzumama for the best result.

… I did notice the grimace she made while asking about using the Shimada house for the party itself, but can’t for my life’s worth figure out what she would find distasteful about that. I’m more than happy with it, and Mother won’t mind. Maybe she just swallowed a bug? That would have anyone making faces.

Or I might be missing something again, people are difficult.

Anyway, plans are plotted, and discoveries about Karin’s likes and dislikes are made. Everything’s been worked out and we only need to work on the details now. With Karin coming to play and spending most of the day here everyday I have to make my moves early in the morning or late in the evening, which makes logistics complicated, but I manage.

She’ll be gobsmacked when she arrives here the 20th, or I’ll be very disappointed in my infiltrator skills.

There is also the matter of her gift. At first I wanted to make something myself, but arts and crafts aren’t my forte and, as I said before, this one is a special, once in a lifetime, first birthday together. So I want something extra special that can survive Karin’s future as a kick-ass kunoichi.

… Shut up, she’s my friend now, Forest of Death bears will have nuthin’ on her.

I still wanted to participate in some way, so I buckled down on my average at best sketching skills and hunted down into the sealing books for a way to make my plans into reality. Took me longer than I wanted, and some parts are just blank holes that’ll hopefully be filled with the expertise of someone that actually knows what he’s doing, but the plans are ready.

My only problem is… well.

I take a last look at the scrolls with a sigh before rolling everything up and knocking on Mother’s office door. Yeah, Mother has an office at home, we may be just two in the family, but that means nothing to the paperwork that being Clan Head entrails. And I’m digressing. Anyway, the problem is I’ve designed a monster whose actual production is probably worth more than my organs in the black market.

So I have to—

The door opens without warning, giving me the scare of my life and derailing my thoughts. On the other side, still sitting at her desk in the far side of the room, fingers holding softly glowing blue threads and a smug expression on her face. Because of course Mother can use chakra threads, what was I thinking?

“You need to work on your awareness, Ran.” I hold back a sigh, and nod instead, hopefully conveying proper chastisement. “You wanted something?”

“Mother, would you take a look at this?” Before I can get cold feet and give some stupid excuse to run away, and step in front of her, putting the scroll of schematics on the table. “I’d like to have it done for Karin’s birthday.”

She takes it in with a glance before turning her attention back at me, eyebrow raised. “Those won’t be cheap to make, especially on a single week deadline.”

I deflate, that’s exactly the problem. Maybe if the old villages of Sky or Uzu were still standing and we lived there, where such skills were commonplace, it would’ve been more affordable. Heck, even just Snow would’ve helped a lot. Here in Grass? I’m not sure I can even find the experts required to see the job done.

“What would it take?” I ask anyway, because at this point isn’t a matter of costs. I’m already committed. “I’m willing to earn it.”

Mother’s smile is full of sharp teeth. “I’m sure we can think of something.”

… Meep.

The day finally arrives and everything is ready. Getting everything just right might've taken me a lot of trial and error and working through the night because, let me tell you, trial and error where there’s confetti involved makes a bitch and a half of a mess with every try. Fortunately Karin isn’t slated to arrive until evening today and I can catch some sleep.

It’s a bit frustrating that it’s just me waiting for her, but we’re still persona non grata within the Academy, so all that ‘invite the whole class to the party’ wouldn’t work very well, and the only other person who could’ve made it is Mother, who will be busy until later.

That might be for the best though, considering Karin still goes stiff when they’re in the same room.

Anyway, the security seals ding with the familiar tones of registered Uzumaki blood. Yeah, our home has wards that seem out of a Harry Potter fic, but they can’t tell you exactly who it is, just their lineage and whether they’re registered or not. What’s a bit surprising is the second set of registered Uzumaki blood. Looks like Uzumama could make it too, we weren’t too sure whether she could duck from work for the day or not.

“Excuse the intrusion!” Ah, they’re at the front door. And overly formal again. Even after a year I despair with this girl.

“In the dining room!”

I’m a bit surprised at how well the sound of footsteps carry from the hallway. Can’t believe I never noticed before. Then again, I always get to the door to receive guests, and the only person I share home with is Mother. Yeah, no hearing those footsteps.

Anyway, when they reach this room Karin’s face brightens as she makes to greet me, only for them to widen in shock as the ceiling explodes in small cutouts of colorful paper and a banner reading ‘Happy Birthday Karin!’. Seeing her face, I can’t resist making a tiger seal.

“[Ninpo - Kamifubuki (Ninja art - Confetti(1))]!” I mock-cast with a smile. “Happy birthday Karin!”

The plan for now it’s to chat the time away, maybe break the games, until Mother comes back and we can attack the food, but that plan crashes and burns with Uzumama’s inclusion. I mean, I’m not about to ditch a guest to entertain herself alone in my home, but I don’t know her well enough to make small talk. Heck, I don’t know Mother well enough to make small talk.

I can manage when it’s just Karin and myself, but that’s about it. And Uzumama doesn’t seem any better in that field. Our only hope was Karin herself, who I know for a fact can be a real chatterbox in the right circumstances but… apparently a surprise birthday party isn’t one of those. Or maybe it’s having her mother and best friend in the same room. Akasha knows I have a lot of trouble with Mother and my best friend being in the same room, myself.

Ugh, it’s like this is a joke. Three introverts try to throw a party…

Mother’s arrival can’t come fast enough, and I almost feel like crying in relief when she finally appears in the room. Yes, I say ‘appear’. No, I have no idea when she arrived, so I can only say when she showed herself, that’s why I say ‘appear’.

After stuffing our faces and singing a song -damn Mother has a great voice, is there anything she cannot do?- and having the birthday girl blow the candles and stuffing our faces again -with cake this time!- I realize Mother and Uzumama have disappeared somewhere and we’re alone. Add ‘wingman’ to the pile of things she can flawlessly do.

Nevermind that now, this is my chance!

This is it, time to show off!

I’ll blow her mind with my birthday super-present!

… What if she doesn’t like it?

Nah, that’s impossible, she’ll love it.

… Or will she? Imean, she’s a polite girl, so she won’t say she hates it on my face, but how do I know for sure?

You know what, Ran? You’re being ridiculous, give her the present already.

Anytime now...

Taking a deep breath, I break the silence.

“Karin?”

“Hmm?” All the tension breaks when she turns towards me, face dirty with frosting and cheeks bulging with cake. It takes all I have not to burst in laughter right there.

“I… Um… You know you’re my best friend, right?” Blinking in what I can only assume it’s confusion, Karin nods, mouth still full of cake. “Before you came, I didn’t really have any. Friends, that is, and I know that I’m weird and unremarkable and everyone picking on us is my fault, but I’m really glad you stuck with me anyway. And, well… this is your first birthday since we met and...” Damn this shouldn’t be so difficult! Stop beating around the bush and just say it! “AndIwantedtogiveyouasuperspecialpresenttocelebrateIhopeyoulikeit(2)!”

She hastily swallows to accept the finely wrapped box I offer and then, she tears it to shreds. Ten years old girl high on sugar, Uzumaki to top it off. Of course she tears it to shreds. She then pulls out a golden heart-shaped necklace.

“It has some sealwork for security.” I explain. “I’ll teach you later how to activate them, now open it!”

We both remain silent for a while, listening to the tin melody. Finally though, Karin reacts, slowly swiping a finger through the inscription before closing the locket and raising her head to look at me.

Looking at Karin’s eyes is a rare treat, even after all this time. She’s just too shy to hold someone’s gaze. Usually, I’d luxuriate in the chance to lose myself in those beautiful crimson eyes of hers. For some reason though, today her gaze feels heavy with judgement.

Have I gone too far? Have I assumed too much? Maybe I’m just someone convenient to hang around with, and she’s never considered me a friend? As the silence stretches, all those scenarios go through my head.

Was this too soon? Am I being creepy? Pretty sure year-long friendships are a big deal at this age, but what do I know? It’s not like I have friends! Oh, you’ve done it now Ran! She’s going to make an odd face and slowly step away from you and give a polite apology and ghost you for the rest of your life!

“Um… Ran-san…” There it is! The odd face! And she’s taking a step back! I close my eyes, hoping against hope the ostrich approach will work this one time, only to feel the air leave my lungs as I’m tackle-hugged by around fifty pounds of squeeing redhead. “Thankyouthakyouthankyou!!!!”

I… just stand there, blinking dumbly while trying to

“... You’re welcome.” Crisis averted? Crisis averted. Wew, have to stop assuming the worst of everything before I get an ulcer. “You’re very welcome. Let’s go see if we can get some more cake?”

(1) Kamifubuki means ‘confetti’ but the literal translation is actually ‘paper blizzard’.
(2) “And I wanted to give you a superspecial present to celebrate, I hope you like it!” - If someone could tell me how to make those annotations that underline the text with dots and show an alternate text when you put the mouse cursor on it that would be grand, because I’ve seen it used but I’m going crazy trying to figure out how. Would’ve helped a lot here.

I swear, writing this chapter was like pulling teeth. I feel having two birthday chapters back to back is a bit awkward, but I had Mother’s birthday already written when I remembered there were reasons why Karin’s had to have it’s own chapter too.

Which reminds me, I really should show more of their everyday life, right? That kinda conflicts with my hurry to jump out of the Academy though… I’ll see what I can do.

Planeshunter · Jun 23, 2020

The Youtube link was a last minute thing, and I'm at work right now so won't be able to check whether I really got the right link. It should be the song 'Kaze no ne' with japanese lyrics. If it isn't... well, I'll check and fix it once I'm back home for the day. Sorry in advance

014 - Join the Caravan (You’ll see the world! They said..)

That night, after cleaning up the leftovers of the party and a fuckton of little strips of coloured paper that got everywhere, Mother and I sit for a light dinner. She seems to be… in a remarkably good mood. Not that most can tell with Mother.

“How are your studies going?”

The fork stops halfway to my face, and it takes me a few seconds to realize I’ve frozen with my mouth open. Then I force down a blush -with arguable results- and continue eating. Her question caught me by surprise. While I have no doubt she’s interested and keeps track of how I’m doing at the Academy, she rarely asks. As in, ever.

No, there’s more to the question. She’s actually asking what are my plans going forward, that with ‘dropping’ my advanced classes. So I take my time chewing while I think on how to answer.

“Seems like I’m done with Math.” I say after finally swallowing. It’s not technically true, since one can never be truly done with math sort of becoming omniscient. “Grass academic level has little more to offer and I’m not really interested in advancing the science. So, unless we’re willing to move to Snow Country and join their specialized programs… yeah.” I finish lamely.

Sky shinobi might have something to offer too, but I’m not supposed to know they’re still around. Also, I have complicated feelings about them, since they’re kind of like Uzu, only it was Konoha who attacked them. Too many toes to step on with that particular story.

“I see. Any plans for next year?”

“Nothing solid yet, I was hoping to make up my mind during the holidays, but...” How do I explain Mother that I’m sick of studying theory in a way that doesn’t see me separated from Karin? “I have conflicting motivations at the moment.”

Mother nods, apparently figuring out the meaning behind my vague words. “Have you given any thought to becoming an assistant teacher? I’m sure you could meet the qualifications by next year if you put your mind to it.”

That has me freezing again, because it is the perfect elegant solution to my troubles. By achieving a position of authority, I’ll cut short the bullying problem. I won’t have to split from Karin, as long as I can get myself assigned to Narutaki-sensei. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering he’s been my homeroom teacher since the start, it would make sense to remain under his care.

It’s not foolproof, nothing can be in a real society with real people influencing the system in chaotic ways, but is good enough for me. I should be able to pull it off, provided I don’t take it for granted. Truly, a flawless proposal. As expected from Mother. It even sets me on a path that could see me both becoming a shinobi and remaining out of trouble, by taking it to its ultimate conclusion and becoming a full-fledged Academy teacher.

And yet… It annoys me.

Oh, it’s nothing rational. You could say it’s my pride rebelling against running away from Ryūzetsu, you could say it’s because I don’t see myself spending my life teaching brats or because I refuse to spend two years doing something I have no intention of continuing. You could even say I’m just against Mother dictating my fate but… The truth is that I simply don’t want to do it.

Is there a purer reason? Is there a more frustrating reason?

“You haven’t started with chakra manipulation yet, haven’t you?” And, somehow, Mother picks on my reluctance again before I can say anything. And proposes something more palatable.

Why is it I like this proposal and not the first one? Doesn’t this put me even closer to becoming a combat shinobi? Why don’t I resist this attempt for Mother to dictate my fate? Is this because of hormones? Is this puberty?

It has to be puberty. Next thing I know I’ll be bleeding all over my undies. Damn, I was really hoping to have some more time. Figures even for this I’d be ahead of my peers.

Stupid Shimada blood...

Back to Mother’s proposal, it’s something I can see myself doing. Chakra control exercises are supposed to take a great deal of focus, and very little in the way of movement, so I could get away with practising in class. “Maybe something they don’t teach at the Academy?”

“That seems efficient.” She acquiesces easily. “Control is something you’ll have to deal with your whole life and can be practiced anywhere, so you should start there. Once you can count on not blowing yourself up trying to gather your chakra unassisted we can skip the Academy jutsu and go straight to Wall Climbing.”

Both keeping the training at the Academy relevant and ensuring my future sensei doesn’t have to waste time teaching me that. Yes, that could work.

“That said…” Mother doesn’t play with her drink, but somehow the feeling comes across that a lesser woman would do so at this point. She’s somewhat uncomfortable about whatever she wants to bring out. “Your grandfather will be coming through Grass at some point next week and wants to take you with him to see some world during your holidays. I made clear you will have the last word.”

...Oh.

Yes, I can see how this might make Mother uncomfortable. From the longest of times -and with that I mean ‘in my living memory’- the Shimada Clan has been just the two of us. It isn’t like she’s neglected my education, Grandfather was someone I know of. It’s just… well, he’s never been here. At least since I was aware enough of my environment to recognise him.

Now the question is, what is she uncomfortable about? Does she want me to meet the wider family and is afraid I’ll shy away from it? Does she want to have me for herself all holidays and is afraid I’ll go away? No way to say for sure. How am I supposed to spoil her if she doesn’t let slip what she actually wants? Dealing with Mother can be infuriating sometimes.

I guess it comes to what I want, right? Seeing a bit of the world would do me some good, I think, and I’m tentatively eager to meet Grandfather. On the other hand, no Karin. That’s a bit no-no, but if Mother plans to take me to the wilds again there won’t be a Karin route for me this summer.

“I would like meeting Grandfather.” I finally say. “And seeing other towns is bound to be interesting.”

“Good.” Mother nods, apparently I’ve made the right choice. “I’ve talked with Kurisu. She’s told me how much Karin misses life in a caravan, so she will be going with you. It’ll do her well to be the sempai for once, I believe.”

I get to see the world and Karin comes with me? Must be all the good karma from not killing anyone the whole year. Man, now I can’t wait until next week. Even if that means I won’t be learning cool ninja magic just yet. And speaking of cool ninja magic...

“Mother?” It’s just an idle thought but I won’t know if I don’t ask. “How much have you contributed to the Shimada Forbidden Scroll?”

“I don’t bother counting.” Does that mean she’s done it a lot or is she dodging the issue? Maybe she has a cute fault like never having designed an original technique of her own? “Knowing I have contributed is enough satisfaction.” Yeah, why did I bother imagining something else?

Stupid Shimada mom.

A week later sees me lie sprawling on wooden boards and looking at a tarpaulin ceiling and reflecting on my new situation. If you’d told me a month ago that today I’d be on a cart, making a good time towards Wind Country and feeling like I’ve been run over by a bull stampede, my first guess would’ve been I would be kidnapped by Suna-nin.

And yet here I am.

Grandfather isn’t anything like expected. Undeniably old with his white hair, long beard and wrinkled face, he’s still a big and very fit man that makes people look twice when passing by. That famous insufferable personality we Shimada are said to develop with age is nowhere to be found, being all smiles and kind words.

… That is, until it’s time for work. Then he puts on his tyrant mask and makes everyone on board earn their breakfasts, and then tells them to ‘Do it all again, but this time do it right’. Still, it’s just honest physical work instead of… dunno, constant nagging and psychological warfare. I won’t deny having some frightening dreams this past week, remembering what’s said of old Shimada only after I had already accepted.

Her presence here is another surprise I won’t be complaining about. Karin is really attached to Uzumama, so I was a bit skeptical about all this ‘split from her for months’ business until she showed up with a backpack and positively vibrating with excitement.

… I guess she really missed life in a caravan? Not even Grandfather’s strict hand seems to phase her, and she goes through her own chores with ease, a permanent smile in her lips. Hell she’s even sin—

Wait a minute.

“Karin? You sing?” After a year with her, this is the first I hear of that.

“I used to, back in the caravan,” She explains with a nod, cheeks slightly pink. “During the boring times when there was nothing to do but was too tired to walk with the carts. Sitting in the back and waiting for the sun to go down so we’d set the camp for the night.”

“I’ve never heard you sing before.” I sit up straight to get a better look. “That was pretty neat.”

“I never had time to get bored in the village.” She goes the full way to blushing at my praise. “So it hasn’t come up, I’m horribly out of practice”

“Nonsense, your singing voice is great and I want to hear more.”

Unfortunately, that’s when Grandfather decides we’ve rested enough and it’s time to move all the cargo around to make sure no rodents are nesting in a corner somewhere. For the third time. Today.

A slave driver, I tell you.

“Hey, Karin?” I ask that night, once we’re done with our tasks and dinnered up and tucked on our cots. “What kind of shinobi would you like to be after graduating?”

She takes a long while to answer. “A strong one? I have never thought about it that way.” She finally mutters when I’m about to let it go and try to sleep. “Maybe a medic?”

“Yeah, that sounds like you.” Half not wanting to fight and half village brainwashing, I’d wager. Not something I’m willing to let go. “But I don’t think being a medic really suits you”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you are very competent at healing without spending an iota of training on that, so I think it is a bit of a waste to spend years and years studying something you can already do good enough in a different way. Like… what’s the opposite of synergy?”

“Dysergy.” That’s my bookworm. “What do you think, then? What would have a good synergy?”

Now it’s my turn to remain silent. I honestly think becoming a full-time healer would be a total waste for Karin, but how to best use her skills without ignoring her wishes to avoid combat? And how to suggest it without making obvious I know about her bloodlines? Heck, I’m not sure she knows about her bloodlines herself, beyond the [Heal Bite]. If she knows, she sure hasn’t mentioned it to me.

“Ran-san?”

“If you want to play your strengths, sealing masters are always in high demand...” I slowly answer, before I receive a flash of inspiration.“And if you want to avoid direct combat, how about covert ops? A good [Chameleon Jutsu], a bit of genjutsu, some quick retreat options depending on your elemental nature and, if you’re good enough, you won’t even need to wield a weapon at all.”

That’s a very good use for the [Mind’s Eye of the Kagura] that’s centered around avoiding combat. Her other two bloodlines will be circumstantially useful too, [Heal Bite] is one of the best first response… abilities -I refuse to call ‘being bitten’ a jutsu- of the whole shinobi world, and the [Adamantite Chains] are useful for a great many things, which will only increase with training and imagination.

“Mmm... That sounds good.” There’s a bit of shuffling around, before she lets out a small yawn. “Not having to train in combat anymore will be nice too.”

“Yeah… no. You’re still learning how to swing around something sharp and pointy. No friend of mine will be defenseless the moment something goes wrong!”

“Ran-san… You’re cute when you act all protective like that.”

“Sh— shut up! What sort of friend would I be otherwise? Now go to sleep already, that slave driver I have for a Grandfather will no doubt try and wring us for all we’re worth tomorrow too!”

The next day I wake up to a sharp pain in my abdomen and the cot stinking of iron. I don’t need to lift the sheets to realize what’s happened. Thrice cursed be Hakkar and his court of unholy loa, I knew it!

Stupid Shimada blood, now unleashed upon the world.

Planeshunter · Jun 25, 2020

If Kaguya’s sanity was far gone, her body was sent to the moon, her chakra was split ninefold and given individual consciousness, and her will escaped in the form of Zetsu… what the hell was sealed by her sons, exactly? Her good looks? Must've been that, the other pieces were hideous…

015 - The Dune Dervish (Mortar, Dampen Projectiles, Vortex.)

For all that he’s a great negotiator, Grandfather is as clumsy as Mother when it comes to real social interactions with people he cares for. In his defense, he tried to lighten my burden when he noticed I was… under the weather. Unfortunately he managed to come out as a condescending jerk and I was in no mood to read between the lines, so I kicked his shin and stubbornly kept with my tasks.

Upon reflection, that might’ve been… poor judgement on my part.

Good news though, Karin spent the whole evening singing and wiping my forehead with a wet rag after I collapsed. Humiliating or not, that felt very nice. We also reached Wind in the meanwhile, which means blistering sun and endless sand wastes, but that’s a problem for Future Ran.

Seriously, bless that girl.

The following day we reached the town of Honebue(1) and Grandfather took us to the tavern so we could ‘see how it’s done’. I was feeling way better, which means I realized it was another attempt to coddle me, but I wasn’t in any mood to get indignant anymore. I’d get to see him in action and that would have to be good enough.

Was there in the tavern, sitting on a stool and taking sips of my peach-flavoured drink while swinging my feet and listening to Grandfather learn every single scrap of news and gossip the place had to offer that I first felt like a careless child in… years.

Don’t get me wrong now. I haven’t been a careless child since before I was born, and I’m grateful Mother didn’t try and treat me as if I was. Eggs and omelets and all that. But still, sometimes I forget I’m actually -almost- ten, and most people my age don’t have to worry about anything worse than homework or a scraped knee. This wasn’t too bad, from time to time.

Just like me to learn the joys of being a spoiled kid right after I stop being one.

… What? I’m a preteen now. Completely different.

Grandfather laughs loudly at some joke another patron made, drops some ryo in the bar and comes back to our table with lunch. I’m too hungry to do anything other than wolf it down with a passion, but the food is objectively shit. That or my own prodigious cooking skills have spoiled me.

Stupid Shimada blood.

(1) Honebue: Bone Whistle. In a place known for the blowing winds and deadly environment, it sounds like an appropriate name, doesn’t it?

There’s apparently a monster in the area, scaring away both merchants and bandits. Grandfather scoffed at the idea of a ‘Dune Dervish’ on the prowl, but still decided it would be prudent to stay in Honebue for a while. We had wares to trade anyway, and any caravan getting out of Wind would gladly sell us their leftover desert supplies at a token cost.

It’s only late in the evening, when he sits me aside and gives me some hard numbers, that I realize there’s something more at play here. Sure, the rumours of the monster means the trade in the area is slowing down, but few merchants are willing to actually turn back and ruin a journey of weeks if not months just for some rumours, so it’s not that bad.

Most telling, while there’s been a lot of ‘sightings’, only one caravan has been attacked so far. The bandits in the area though… they’ve been decimated. I don’t need him to tell me these facts don’t really match with the rumours. Judging by Grandfather’s face, I had enough data to make an educated guess.

Bandits have traditionally been a big problem everywhere after every Shinobi War. Countless groups gain a foothold while the villages couldn’t spare the manpower to clean house. Later, as the Nobles play their little games of war and peace, they fill out with first deserters and later decommissioned ashigaru(2) incapable of adapting back to peace afterwards.

They tend to be slowly culled down while the shinobi villages remain at peace, and actually that sort of missions make up a good chunk of their income. Important trade hubs do their best to clean up the main trade routes as soon as possible, but relatively small towns like Honebue are still part of the routes and may sometimes take years to gather the coin for a mission. In the meanwhile, caravans are bled dry and the economy of the whole area suffer.

...Let’s ignore for a minute that, once bandit camps start to disappear, the Villages run out of job and manage to find an excuse to wage open war again. That’s not the point.

Case is, the economy of the area should improve drastically, now that there are no bandits. Which could improve the lives of a lot of people. Look underneath. When in doubt, follow the money. Who benefits from this?

The village, obviously.

The nobles, who can tax more.

Rival bandits, who can now move to the area.

Rival merchants, who will see their routes favored on detriment of these.

And the monster(?), obviously, but I’m reasonably sure that’s just shadow play.

And yet, neither the village nor the nobles benefit for the -obviously, in hindsight- manipulated rumours. Both the village and the nobles would benefit more if there was nothing to scare merchants away. Same with rival bandits, plus they would’ve attacked more caravans.

Time to look underneath the underneath. When in doubt, blame the ninja.

A foreign village may benefit from reduced commerce, depending on a number of factors, but overall commerce benefits everyone. And again the above remains valid. No reason for contradictory rumors.

At a first glance, the same applies to Sunagakure itself, but…

I might be into something here, actually.

Monster extermination and other mysterious investigation missions have a wildly varying rank, depending on the threat, but one thing's for sure. A threat that cleans up all the bandits in an area will be, by necessity, higher ranked than cleaning up the bandits themselves. But if the economy is improving at the same time…

“Fear increases, but they’ll actually end up richer.” I start slowly. I’m sure I’m still missing something, but this is good enough for a hypothesis. “Both seeing an overall improved economy and allowing the town to commission a monster extermination mission from their Hidden Village!”

“A bandit cleanup is just your run of the mill mission, but defeating a monster is the sort of thing that builds reputations.” Grandfather comments slyly. Suna’s greatest problem right now is their lack of trust from their Daimyo. Reputation helps with that sort of thing.

“Puppeteers using puppets to puppet their own governments.” I burst into laughter. Man they’re good! “Damn tricky ninja!”

… Wait a minute.

Did that waitress just… dodge around a throng of running children with a stack of dirty dishes in one hand, and another two on the other? There are experts on every trade, apparently. That, or she’s an undercover shinobi.

Considering there’s a very dangerous ‘apparition’ in the area and I just made a poor joke about Suna’s puppeteer corps, I’ll make sure not to show her my back, just in case.

… It’s not paranoia if they’re actually out to get you.

(2) Ashigaru: Conscripted infantry.

Not… not my best piece, I’d say. Had some vague plans for a mystery story, but realized halfway I wasn’t all that into it, after all. Used the chapter instead to elucubrate a bit about Suna and their Puppeteers. And make Ran a bit more paranoid, that’s always worth my time.

During the story we see very little of Suna’s Puppeteer Corps, Iwa’s Explosion Corps, Kiri’s… Hunter-nin? And… Kumo’s… Green Berets? Whatever. We only see Anbu consistently, and even then it’s mainly to see them die like chumps. Most of the time they’re those background guys that are supposed to be strong but only appear for someone even stronger to show off. That’s kind of a pity, don’t you think?

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

Right! So 3-4 chapters till we end Arc 1, assuming things don’t get out of control again. That’s somewhere between one third and halfways the story, depending on a number of factors. I’ll probably take a break afterwards, my enthusiasm is kinda dwindling and that’s not fair to anyone.

About this chapter in particular, it’s kinda sort, but the next one is already written so you can expect more tomorrow? It’s more a matter of pacing that volume of text anyway.

016 - Chakra Control for Dummies (and being in the wrong side of prodigiousness for once)

Compared with the near miss in Honebue, the rest of the month we spend with Grandfather is pretty unremarkable. We’re worked to the bone, Grandfather gives us offhand advice on how to deal with different sorts of merchants, Karin sings, our cots mysteriously end up closer every night, we go places, we do things, we meet people. The works.

Also had the stupid verbally beaten out of me. I don’t know what I was thinking all those years ago when I decided that investing in a double-crossing little shit like Gato was a good idea, but Grandfather took great pleasure in disabusing me of the notion. I still have no money to invest and my investment projects are already ruined.

Maybe I could take my money to Snow? Nah, same problem, Doto will just take it and forget I exist. And them I’m not actually sure will recover from the recession anytime soon. That whole ‘Let’s change the country’s climate with big-ass heaters’ plan doesn’t sound all that bright to me.

Meh, I’ll think about it once I have money to actually invest.

By the time Grandfather returns us to Kusa, we’re tanned by the harsh climate of Wind Country, full of experiences and knowledge we most likely won’t ever use again and about done with the world in general and slave-driver relatives in particular. Unfortunately, that’s kind of a permanent state of being for me, returning to Mother doesn’t really change anything.

Speaking of Mother, she’s there with Uzumama to pick us up when we return, and she’s positively glowing. She must’ve used the chance to cut loose and do something special. Probably slaughtered a whole civilization into extinction or something like that.

Huh, Uzumama also looks better than usual. That’s good, that’s good... She’s obviously enjoyed her own vacation time. I swear sometimes it’s like that woman doesn’t know how to take a break.

“Ran.” Mother greets,

“Mother.” I answer.

Then we remain silent for a while, staring at each other and vaguely aware of the way Karin tackle-hugs her own mom.

“Did you have fun?” She finally asks. There’s a certain quality in her voice that hints at a hidden ‘Are you feeling alright? A month with Father can’t be good for anyone’s sanity’, but I might be imagining things.

“Can’t say I didn’t.” Is my, technically true, answer, lilting my voice just so. ‘For the love of god save me from the slave-driver. I’m about ready to sleep for a week!’

“Good.” I internally slump in relief, Mother understands. “Now that you’re rested we can start with your chakra training.”

!!!

… There’s obviously been some miscommunication there.

Chakra training is different from anything I’ve ever experienced. I mean, sure, my old life didn’t have the stuff so duh, but it’s more than that. We’re taught chakra is used subconsciously, even without training, every time we push our bodies.

Training sticks better and achieves more, willpower directly turns into physical power... that sort of thing. It’s how we can casually perform supernatural feats of skill and strength before reaching a two-digits age.

As opposed to the subconscious use of chakra I've employed so far, actively controlling it takes visualization and focus. Which doesn’t only mean it feels weird as shit while it’s happening, but also that it’ll mess with my coordination and challenge my capability for multitasking until I get used to it.

Also, Obaa-san took a look at what I was doing and promptly declared I wasn’t to put a finger near functioning seals until I had conscious control down to pat. So I’m confined to non-reactive ink and paper during my practice seals now, even while supervised.

I swear that woman is far too skittish about the art. I have never blown anything up! She seems to believe explosions aren’t just inevitable, but the longer I go proving her wrong, the bigger the explosion she seems to expect. I have half a mind to prove her right, between you and me, the lack of explosions kind of detracts from all the fuuinjutsu mystique, you know?

... Getting off topic. Case is I spent the rest of my vacation trying to visualize and manipulate esoteric flows of metaphysical power through my body while dodging projectiles sent flying my way at the worst possible times. Mother’s only concession to my need to split focus was to save the sharpened projectiles ‘for later’. As if metal balls didn’t hurt like a bitch by themselves.

It took me until we restarted at the Academy to get my perception to the point where I could begin trying to actually manipulate anything. Meanwhile, Karin took a couple of hours to get the same results. I don’t think she realized she was doing something she wasn’t supposed to, but if that wasn’t the [Mind’s Eye of the Kagura] at play I’ll eat my non-existing hat.

And she didn’t have to dodge the Bullet Hell of Motherly Expectations^™ at the same time.

No, I’m not bitter.

Control itself, once you’re done with the introspection phase, is the fine art of leveraging your willpower against the natural flow of said preternatural energies so their behaviour will be altered to fit your purposes. In other words, you have to out-stubborn your own life-force.

If my stupid Shimada blood has given something, that’s sutubbornness.

Sit tigh and wait Karin, all debts will be repaid!

...Still not bitter.

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

017 - Ryūzetsu Interlude: Clan Honor and Personal Honor.

I used to have more ego than common sense, I probably still have. When one grows amongst a group of people, one tends to absorb their traits. Not everything is bad, of course, the tenacity to chase down our goals and the wit to find the path to them, are the Haizuki most valued virtues, and they’re strong in me. As often happens though, it’s the problematic traits that have me in this situation.

When I first met the bitch, I only knew her as the child of a traitor who married into a fading clan. Nobody told me the Shimada were fucking monsters, nor that the bitch herself was a living stereotype of her clan. The whole year, I tried to act as was expected from me, to assert dominance in my age group and show the bitch her place.

… That went as well as anyone who knows the bitch can imagine.

She showed me up in theory classes, and beating her a fight meant nothing when she wasn’t even trying. My family held me to the unreasonable standard she held and, no matter how much I tried, I simply couldn’t keep up.

Back then, I was convinced she was some sort of heartless, mindless zombie. She didn’t do idle talk, she didn’t do playing, she didn’t even do smiling. She just studied and learnt, mocking us with her ‘special classes’ and ‘losing’ her sparring matches.

And then she meets Uzumaki, and suddenly she has a heart? Honestly, back that first day, when she saw the skittish weakling trying to sit besides the bitch, she was half-expecting to see blood spilled. Instead she practically adopted her. We all remember why Ami wears an eyepatch.

I only learnt this recently, but my family had been waging a very aggressive discredit campaign against her after the events during the Haizuki yearly meeting. When I ranted about the new girl befriending the bitch, they jumped at the chance to turn the relationship into a lever to rally everyone against them.

That… that too went as well as anyone who knows the bitch can imagine, actually.

But Uzumaki didn’t remain a weakling nerd forever. As months and years went by, I saw her rise higher and higher in the physical rankings. By now, the only ones who can consistently beat her besides the bitch herself are Muku and me, and even Muku eyes her carefully when they’re made to spar with each other.

By the Sage, there’s still another year in the Academy. If she keeps improving at this rate she’ll leave us all in the dust.

And that’s without mentioning how they’ve spent this last year blatantly practicing chakra control in the classroom. Narutaki-sensei tried to call them on it, but they’re also paying attention to the lessons at the same time somehow, so there’s nothing he can really complain about. I tried to do the same, but to focus on the exercise I had to ignore sensei, and that didn’t work very well. Muku can do it a bit, with the simpler exercises, but that’s all.

I eye the bitch put away the senbon she was using for today’s exercises and get ready to leave the classroom for the day, and let out a sigh. No matter how much I want to nail the showoff in the face, she’s not doing anything actually wrong. Also I’d probably be the one who ends up with a bloody nose anyway.

These first three years in the Academy were my time to make a name for myself, when my clan training would’ve set me as the queen bee before chakra lessons officially began. Next year, the great equalizer that’s wielding chakra will be introduced, and things will be significantly harder for me. Everything was supposed to go differently, but that’s something I’ll never see now.

Lately… I also feel like it all was handled poorly.

The bi— Shimada was never hostile to us, even when we went out of our way to make her life difficult. It makes one wonder how things could’ve gone with a more friendly approach, but that’s something else we’ll never see now.

In any case, stubbornly sticking to methods that don’t work is beyond stupid. Recently, other’s attempts to get to her just make me wince. I’ve had to hide a smirk of my own sometimes, when a specially dumb idea fails spectacularly.

Yes, this is ridiculous. There is such a thing as trying too hard, and stubbornness only becomes tenacity when it’s accompanied by success. At what point does a child become disillusioned with her elders? How long can one indulge the pettiness and obstinacy from those above one’s station while pretending to still believe it to be ‘wisdom’?

Heir or not, I barely have any power within the Clan, and what little I have has failed to convince the rest into accepting the loss of face and dropping this fool’s errand before our constant failures make us lose even more face. And yet I will be the Clan head one day, assuming Shimada-sama keeps tolerating our antics and there is a Clan to be the head of by then. If I want some chance of picking up the pieces of this disaster, it’s time to swallow childish pride and make amends.

I take a deep breath, and approach the two of them right as they are leaving.

“Shimada.” Uzumaki subtly tenses at my unexpected approach, but she doesn’t cower, she’s certainly come a long way. Shimada herself doesn’t miss a beat, barely shifting her head enough to get me into her field of vision.

“Ryūzetsu” That’s another thing about Shimada, she doesn’t give a shit about propriety. I can count myself lucky she at least uses my given name, there are people in class she keeps calling ‘whatsyourface’ after three years.

“You’re a tough bitch.” I comment as nonchalantly as I can manage, studiously staring at the railings in front of us. “It used to drive me spare.”

“What do you want, Haizuki?” Yes, Uzumaki has come a long way, and not always in a direction I feel particularly pleasant. But I resist the urge to snarl. I’m here for a reason.

“But now I think… I think I can respect it.” I say instead, turning towards Shimada and, for the first time in my life, bow my head down to her. Not low enough to make this an apology, the elders will throw a fit if it reaches their ears I apologized to a Shimada, but low enough to show respect. “I tried to make it stop, but I failed.”

I know the bitch enough to know she won’t answer to my words, except maybe with an arched brow I have no hurry to see, so I turn and leave. I failed to make her bow, I failed to make her break. I even failed to make amends. Reached this point, this is the most I can do, so this is what I’ve done.

Yes, I used to have more ego than common sense, I probably still have. But I’m trying.

Timeskip because I don’t want to deal with Academy chapters, this isn’t Harry Potter. If it wasn’t for some things I need to write from Ran’s PoV, the next chapter would be Uzumama’s interlude and the end of the Arc. As things stand, 2-3 more chapters.

Planeshunter · Jul 2, 2020

018 - I’m way too spushial!!! (That’s not a good thing)

As Ryūzetsu walks away, I’m surprised to notice I’m sagging in relief. As if a muscle that’s been tense so long you no longer notice it finally relaxes, and I realize that somehow, deep down, I’ve been putting her face on the mysterious figure trying to make Karin’s life miserable.

Immediately afterwards I realized something else. I no longer feel like dealing with this shit myself. I think it’s past time to have a chat with Mother.

“Uh… Ran-san? You’re making a scary face.”

“Am I?” I’m just smiling, swear! “Don’t worry about that. We were planning the end of term celebration, weren’t we?”

“Ah, yes! Mama said your mom had something in mind for the four of us!”

“I hadn’t heard.” I comment with a small slump of shoulders. Sometimes I feel like Mother gets along better with Uzumama than with me. “Those two really like to scheme together, don’t they?”

“Hm!” Karin nods enthusiastically. “Mama is always more cheerful when your mom is around!”

… And now I feel guilty about feeling jealous.

The ‘celebration’ consisted of taking us to a ramen restaurant, which nearly gave me a heart attack. You see, I’ve spent the last two years doing my best to keep Karin the hell away from the, as far as fanon has let me know, highly addictive substance for Uzumakis. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy a bowl every now and then in my old life, it's just that cancerous meme about ‘the food of the gods’ thing that I find distasteful and vaguely disturbing.

Karin enjoyed the meal, but no more than any other savory dish. Two years of stressing about nothing and I can only be glad about it. Because let’s be honest here. What were the chances I’d keep her away from ramen for a whole lifetime?

Wait, doesn’t this mean she’ll never curl up happily in my lap after stuffing herself with ramen? Damn, that’s definitely a problem. Will have to machinate orchestrate fabricate find an alternate way. Or get some Shokugeki no Souma cooking skills.

That sounds like a great use of my time, like those waifu catalog stories with their fairy feast. It’s not like I have something to do while practising chakra control anymore, and it even ties to my studies in chemistry. It was about time I found a specialization in that field too…

Back to the topic, the meal was great, even if Karin left with Uzumama to spend one of her rare free days together. It doesn’t matter, because this year we’ll keep with the tradition of taking me out of the village to drive me to the ground somewhere without child abuse laws train, and Karin is coming with again.

She even seemed enthused with the idea of training under Mother alongside me. Oh, sweet summer child...

The next day, barely an hour after departing from Kusa, Karin is starting to regret her enthusiasm. At least I got some serious practice in moving through trees last time Mother brought me along, but for her it’s the first time visiting Konoha’s border.

“Mother?” I ask, abandoning Karin’s side to match pace with her.

“Yes, Ran?”

“How did you manage to bring Karin along?” I’m not going to complain, but the adorable redhead that’s trying her best to keep up with Mother’s hellish pace is still both an Academy student and a Village Asset. “Did you make her an apprentice too?”

“I can’t just take anyone as my apprentice, Ran.” There is a hint of amusement in her voice that I know means she won’t be giving a straight answer.

“Somehow I doubt you’ve kidnapped her.” I dig for an elaboration anyway, knowing is a vain hope.

“I have said all I will in the matter.” Yeah, called it. I know she’s not actually annoyed with my questions, just… feeling playful or whatever is Mother’s equivalent. Which means she’s actually told me enough -and just enough- to get the right answer. It’ll even be obvious in hindsight, I’m sure.

So annoying...

Mother only lets up a couple of hours later, in a forest clearing whose beauty I’m frankly in no form to appreciate. And I got off somewhat lightly, judging by Karin’s state, the whole trip has been calculated to bring her to the limit of physical exhaustion. All through our cool down exercises -not necessary for those with chakra, but still a good idea when you can afford it- she’s incapable of catching her breath, so instead of trying to strike a conversation, I just nod towards a particularly inviting tree and sit against it.

...And I’m somewhat surprised when she plops right on my side, collapsing sideways on my shoulder with half her body doing her best to sink into mine. Two years is a long time at our age, and she’s been progressively relaxing and displaying casual trust along the way, but this might be the first time she’s initiated something like this. A hug here and there? Sure, if short and not very often. Pretty much collapsing into me? This is a first.

Tentatively, I raise my hand to scratch the back of her head, and she answers by pressing herself against it making a face of utter delight. Only the purring is missing.

…

…

Give me a second, I’m afraid my heart is melting.

Okay, Ran, deep breaths. Ignore Karin’s soft body against you, and don’t think about her smell coming from right besides you. You are the cool senpai, so you are not going to burst into hysterical giggles. There’s only the Flame and the Void, throw all the unnecessary thoughts into the flame, feed the flame, feel the void all around you as temptations and worldly desires get drawn into—

Karin shifts slightly, and all my hard work crumbles. Damnit Al’Thor(1), your teachings don’t work in real life!

“If you’re done catching your breath...” Mother drawls from right in front of me, nearly giving me a heart attack. “I brought some chakra paper. It’s a bit soon to explore elemental transformations, but knowing your affinities has other uses. Grab a single sheet and push your chakra into it, how it reacts will tell us what’s your main affinity.”

Oh, we’re doing the chakra paper thing before leaving the Academy? Cool! Always wondered why it wasn’t standard procedure. I mean, once you learn how to channel chakra, it costs nothing to just pass around some sheets around the students and figure out their affinities.

Well, it does cost something, sure, but if everyone gets tested the Academy can buy in bulk. Probably even justify a budget increase just for that. Unless the money-pinchers upstairs are being obstructive jerks? But that shouldn’t be the case. Obstructive jerks crippling Kusa’s future army carry a serious risk of suffering steel poisoning. As in, ten inches of steel through the throat for high treason.

“Chakra paper can give false positives if used before a certain degree of chakra control is achieved, but that shouldn’t be a problem for you two.” … Oh, that makes sense too.

Karin goes first. I’d love to say she frowns cutely with the effort to coax her chakra out of her body, but we’re way past that point by now, so instead I just get to see how the paper she’s holding turns into a sopping mess.

“Water affinity.” Kinda boring, but it fits. “The fluid element which is, ironically enough, the second most tangible one, after Earth. Good against Fire, strengthened by Lightning and weak against Earth. Those are just rules of thumb though, the Water element is very flexible, and it’s easy to find workarounds for supposed weaknesses with a creative mind and enough training.”

In other words, there’s a training hell waiting for her once we have the reserves to pull it off. I’m curious about that ‘very flexible’ comment though, I seem to remember a kiri-nin using [Water Release - Oil Rain] in the fillers. If that’s actually canon, that means the correct water release application can feed on fire like the normal one does with lightning. Kind of what Jiraiya does with his toad combination jutsu.

“Water-aligned shinobi are also traditionally encouraged to pursue the healing arts,” She continues. “But that would be disgustingly redundant in your case. Do resist any attempt to pressure you into that, it will do you a world of good.”

Heh, called it. Told her exactly that a year ago.

Then it’s my turn to hold the paper and I won’t say I’m not feeling at least a tiny bit giddy about it. I mean, this is sort of a big thing, isn’t it? An affinity will dictate what I should put my efforts towards for the best results, and that’s without mentioning the possibility of an elemental Kekkei Genkai. I have my stupid Shimada blood, after all.

Holding the sheet with two fingers, I channel a bit of chakra into it. It’s actually easier than expected, the paper practically drinking it out of me with the smallest effort, but there’s no reaction just yet. I guess that’s not enough chakra? I didn’t want the paper to explode or something -unless that means I have Explosion Release, of course- so I went easy on it, but if it wants more, I can give it more.

Progressively increasing my output, I start getting nervous. The volume I’m channeling right now is enough to keep me stuck in a wall, and as light as my almost-eleven-years-old body is, that’s still a considerable amount. But there’s nothing I can be doing wrong, the exercise literally only needs me to channel chakra into the paper.

Mentally shrugging, I increase the flow again. Soon, I’m sweating again under the effort of first pouring my maximum sustainable output and then going beyond that, and start depleting my reserves. The fucking paper still sits fat and lazy between my fingers, not showing any reaction. There’s something obviously wrong with this, but I’ll be damned if I give up now. The thing will react or I’ll pass out from Chakra exhaustion!!

“Huh, this is certainly new.” Mother mutters, interrupting my duel of stubbornness with the inanimate cellulose-based object. “You appear to have no affinities.”

“And what does that mean?”

“First and foremost, that you’re one of a kind, so I won’t be able to know anything for certain. Still, if I had to make an educated guess I’d say is as simple as you being incapable of enjoying the advantages of having an affinity, but the disadvantages won’t weigh you down either.”

“It could also mean I can’t use elemental transformations.” I shoot back, maybe peeved a teensy little bit with the situation.

“Don't get sassy with me, Ran.” She doesn’t make her eyes roll, because that’s not something Mother does, but the feeling is there. “Learning a style of elemental transformation will certainly be harder for you than the average chunin, but there’s no reason to assume you will be handicapped beyond that. People do learn elemental transformations not their affinity with some hard work. On the contrary, this might be an opportunity. You’ll have an easier time than the Third Hokage to master them all.”

“Handicapped in the commonplace, gifted on the extraordinary, then?” Stupid Shimada blood… “How very… Shimada of me.”

“Indeed, you’re my daughter after all.”

… I’m not blushing, damnit!

But seriously, what am I supposed to do with a void affinity? This is not Zero no Tsukaima, no Void Mages here. And I doubt very much something as convenient as being able to use all elemental Kekkei Genkai is going to fall into my lap either. As Mother said, this means all elemental transformations will be equally hard to develop.

Being a special snowflake is supposed to give me an overpowered ability, not this… whatever this is! And may Madoka have mercy on me if Orochimaru ever hears I exist. Strapped to an operation table with the organs of half a dozen bloodline-users grafted into my body is about the best possible turnout from that. I would probably be unlucky enough to survive the process too.

Seriously, stupid supposedly special snowflake Shimada blood…

(1) She’s talking about Tam Al’Thor, from The Wheel of Time series. Who taught that meditation technique to his son.

“Well now, this is unsettling...”

“What’s wrong, Mother?”

“I have just been summoned to a nearby outpost. Max priority, expect intense combat on arrival. No great village should have any interest in the area, could be some missing-nin with more guts than brain.” It’s obvious she’s frustrated by this, I can almost see her tsking in annoyance. “I can’t just ignore this… Seems like you’ll have to prove your mettle in the wilderness a bit sooner than expected. Now, Karin, don’t let my daughter do anything stupid while I’m not here, alright?”

And with that, she [Body Flickers] away, leaving us alone. A cricket can be heard in the background.

Eh? EEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?

Planeshunter · Jul 4, 2020

019 - Uzumaki Kurisu interlude: A mother above all else.

I never should’ve survived birth.

Mother’s pregnancy was difficult, and I was born weak and small. For what I’ve heard later on, my early years were ones of constant sickness and fear for my life, of sleepless nights taking care of the feverish girl that constantly wore on her parent’s own cheer and energy.

It took me years to grow healthy enough to leave home by myself and, even then, I was never quite strong enough to play rough with the rest of the children. My sisters never resented it where I could see, but I’m sure they were exasperated with me and the constant limitation I was to their own games and playtime.

Then Uzu was razed to the ground and, by some sick joke of fate, I was the only one in our family to survive, escaping the massacre with just the big gash to my forehead that now scars my face. Alongside the old soldier who saved me from the invasion, we joined a caravan and wandered the Elemental Nations. Still too weak to pull my own weight, it was only a mix of Takami-baachan’s hard work and the caravan’s goodwill thatI was able to survive at all.

I should’ve been thrice dead by then.

Instead, I met a man who made my heart beat faster and married him. While I loved Hikoboshi though, my feelings for him were more a tool to keep my dark thoughts at bay than a miracle cure. But then I had a daughter, and with her came the best time of my life. For ten years, I became someone I never thought I could be, and forgot about all my fears and regrets. I had a family, a loving husband and a little girl who was the light of my eyes and kept the darkness away with her mere presence.

Everything changed when the Kusa-nin attacked.

The hunt for surviving Uzumaki had relaxed with the years, but that was simply because most of us had either found a patron to protect them, or… a patron had found them. My caravan was hardly either and, when we were found by shinobi, they never should’ve tried to fight back.

For the fourth time, I stared death in the eye. Bad thoughts came back to the forefront after years of being relegated to the darkest corners of my mind and with them, old temptations. I remember thinking that the coward’s way out would be preferable to what awaited me if the Kusa-nin took me to their village.

But I couldn’t do that. Because, if I did, why had Hikoboshi bled, trying to protect us? What would be of Karin without me to take the brunt of the abuse? I put a kitchen knife to my neck, and bargained my family’s safety for my surrender.

We were ‘escorted’ into the village, Hikoboshi was given ‘medical assistance’ and we were ‘graciously granted’ temporary lodging while a real living space was arranged. Just another way to say they were waiting for my husband to die so they could go cheap. ‘Wounds suffered during the scuffle’, they said. The bastards didn’t even bother trying to look sorry.

Things weren’t quite as bad as I had feared. Their doctors soon realized I didn’t have the vitality that most of my clan was famous for, and that I wouldn’t survive excessively rough treatment. Still, with my cooperation guaranteed by the unspoken threat hanging on Karin, I was forced to long hours healing the people of the village, or just away from home for them to make a point.

The darkness came back. It was hard to keep it at bay, when I woke up bone-tired in the morning and went to bed utterly exhausted. But I couldn’t give up yet, Karin needed me. By that point, my best bet for my daughter’s future was to help her be assimilated into the village, become an asset in her own right, so she wouldn’t be forced to take my place once I couldn’t keep up anymore.

It was working, even. I won’t say Karin didn’t realize anything, because she’s a smart girl and my own act slipped more than once, but she got in the good graces of a little monster of a girl who didn’t hesitate to visit grievous harm on her peers to protect her. I can’t say I found the situation ideal, but considering the circumstances, it was about the best I could hope for.

Better the hoard of a dragon than meat for the meat grinder.

I couldn’t deny them when the Shimada decided to take her away during the school holidays either. As much as I wanted to see her at the end of the day, to remind myself the reason I was enduring all this, trying to make her stay would mean her being alone the whole day, with me busy and her only friend away. That’s assuming asking me wasn’t just a formality, and my decisions actually had a weight.

That’s how I used to think, back then. Before I saw how the little dragon who claimed my daughter behaved in her own house, before I met Onee-sama and was taught things only a woman can teach another woman. I don’t love her, but I think I could have, if only things had transpired differently.

Things improved after meeting her. My ‘working hours’ weren’t so long anymore, I began to have free time on the weekends… I even feel like the work itself became less grueling. But it was too little, too late. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Karin is safe, Ran-chan may be a little monster of skewed morality and a nebulous sense of compassion towards fellow humans, but she will sooner see the world burn than allow harm to touch her and that’s all I need to know. While I’m unsure of how the future will play out, the things that matter are well taken care of.

Day by day, I’m slowly dying. After all those near-misses all along my life I know better than anyone. The Shinigami’s breathing on my neck, waiting for his due.

Oh, Onee-sama offered to help and I don’t doubt she would’ve managed, one way or another. But I refused. Too many ghosts, too many regrets. She may have turned my last years from a nightmare to something I can enjoy, but even she can’t lift the weariness of my soul. This is just a dead woman’s last taste of earthly pleasures before I finally rejoin my family.

My sweet, bright daughter… Please grow happy and strong. Rely on those who would help you become the best person you can be and ignore those who would see you dragged down into the mud. If even your wretch of a mother could live long enough to see you be born and grow, then someone like you has the world at her feet.

Arc 1: Halcyon days of youth, END

And there we have it. Shorter than expected, but I finished when I finished. As I mentioned before, I’ll take a break for a while, to review my notes and prepare the next arc. On another news, the first ‘chapter’ of ‘Crow or Bust’ is up. Just character creation for now, without any background, because it’s up to you guys what the background will be.

Uzumama doesn’t have the cheerful personality most confirmed Uzumaki and pretty much every fan-made character shares. She’s an introspective woman who naturally tends towards depression, and she’s been suffering survivor's guilt since Uzu. She doesn’t see her own life as valuable nor cared overly much about her own survival for the longest time. The only reason she made it this far is Karin.

Her love for her daughter and the need to protect her acted the part of what in a well-adjusted individual would be survival instincts. That’s also why she tried so hard once they were taken to Kusa. She could’ve gotten away with not working to exhaustion every single day if she wasn’t so terrified Kusa would make Karin pick up the slack for her, but she never dared try.

Then met Mother, and her life improved a fair deal. If she didn’t fall in love, she was at least happy, and her job was a fair deal easier after Mother had words with people. The more she knew the Shimada, the more she grew to respect them. Unfortunately, that meant she inevitably decided Karin would be better off without her.

Bullshit, but a lack of self-worth makes you miss some pretty damn obvious things.

Mother tried to help her, but she refused and if Mother respects something is the right of self-determination. She won’t impose her help on the unwilling, even when it would’ve been objectively the right thing to do. As she mentions in another story, ‘Even my own flawlessness manages to create flaws by itself’.

You can’t fuck the suicidal tendencies out of someone.

… at least, not out of anyone.

The old soldier was named Takami for the Sekirei character, the husband was called Hikoboshi because that’s as generic as you can get with a male lover japanese name.

Planeshunter · Jul 13, 2020

020 - On blackmail and plans for the future

And, like that, it was already time to get back to the Academy, where another uneventful year of being magnanimously patient with the dumb flies that called themselves my classmates would take place.

Oh, wait, Mother said she’d put a stop to that, so… a full year of downplaying my skills again? Man it’s been a long time! Looking forward to it!

Only, in spite of our new social statue of non-pariah-ness, Karin became quieter shortly into the year. Apparently Uzumama hasn’t been feeling too well lately. I really hope she gets better soon, Mother is a lot more approachable when she has an actual friend to spend time with.

Anyway, it was cool to be left the fuck alone again. Even if Karin wasn’t really in the mood to enjoy it. And my stupid Shimada blood still didn’t let me take it easy. It seems like I’ll have to find more advanced classes to keep myself busy with while—

“Shimada!” Narutaki-sensei calls, after taking a look at a note brought by a chunin I’ve never seen before. “The higher-ups want a word with you. He’s here to escort you there.”

I’ll admit to blinking a couple of times, in utter confusion. The ‘higher-ups’? Did I do anything lately to piss off the Principal? Because I can’t remember gouging any eyes lately. Maybe the Haizuki decided whatever warning Mother gave them wasn’t worth their attention and they pulled something with the Council? Ugh, stubborn idiots, they won’t be missed when Mother goes on a rampage, but that can only mean trouble for everyone involved.

Then I realize everyone is waiting for my answer.

“Sure.” I speak up, feeling my cheeks heat up a little. “Let’s go.”

As suspected, I wasn’t guided to the Principal’s office, but simply led outside and then, without so much as by your leave, the chunin put a hand on my shoulder and [Shunshin]’d me away. I was about to make a snide comment about rudeness when I noticed where I was.

“These.” I started slowly. “Are not the Council’s offices.”

“You got that right, squirt.” My rude guide snorts. “Now be a good girl and wait patiently until you’re called in. I’m sure a fourth year like you knows how to be on their best behaviour. But it’s your funeral otherwise, I’ve done my job.”

With that, he [Shunshin]’d away. And I sat down in front of the nice lady that didn’t even look once my way. And waited for an hour while being on my best behaviour until I was called in. Because when the Boss Dude wants to speak with you, you go see him, no questions asked.

… The Boss Dude is Kusa’s leader. He does have an official title, but it’s kind of a tongue twister, so in my mind I call him Boss Dude.

Now if only I knew what he wanted with me… Even after I was finally let in, Boss Dude ignored me and my greetings and kept writing away some scroll or another for a good five minutes. Grandstanding and power plays, trying to make me nervous and intimidate me into compliance even before the conversion proper would start.

Not good circumstances for my first meeting with my nominal head honcho, but I was less affected by the theatrics than by the fact he felt theatrics needed in the first place. What, exactly, is he expecting to gain from this?

“Shimada Ran.” He finally breaks the silence, eyes still on the scroll. “Only heir of the Shimada clan and shoe-in for the rookie of the year position, in spite of the heavy investment of the Haizuki clan to promote their own geniuses.”

“What can I say?” Boss Dude’s words may be ones of praise, but his tone most definitely isn’t, and I still have no idea what’s his angle. “Ryūzetsu is good, and Muku is a freaking monster. But somehow I managed to score higher once or twice.”

“What can you say?” He finally deigns to look at her, his face the picture of unamusement. “Maybe you can provide an explanation for why all your teachers claim you’re blatantly holding back this year. If things keep up like this, you’ll fall back into the middle ratings.”

“Uh...” Honestly, I never expected to be called on my bullshit so directly. Aren’t shinobi supposed to be all about subtlety? “I don’t want to become too well known? An unremarkable graduation means I won’t catch attention. That’s even assuming I’ll go for a shinobi career after all. I’m still a bit iffy about that.”

“For that strategy to work, the shinobi in question needs to be as close to a total non-entity from birth as possible. You were born into notoriety, and have been making waves ever since you started the Academy. If there was ever a chance for anonymity, that ship has long sailed”

“Well I still don’t know if I want to be a shinobi, making too many waves will suck if I want to open a travelling ramen stand. Everyone would just assume I’m a spy. And then the Kusa-AMBU would have to extract me to keep up the charade.”

“For the last time, there is no Kusa-AMBU!”

“Sure.” I agree easily. “And if there was you wouldn’t admit it anyway.”

He sends me a Look I have no trouble deciphering. ‘You’re going to keep doing whatever you want no matter what I say, right?’ He’s the Boss Dude for something, he knows his shit.

I smile at him innocently, as if butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. ‘Totes’. He takes a deep breath and pulls some files from a drawer.

“Did you know all Uzumaki are technically wanted fugitives by three different major villages?” The smile is wiped from my face at the non-sequitur, it doesn’t take a prodigy to realize where that’s going. “As a mainly neutral power, standard procedure dictates we surrender them to either Kiri, Iwa or Kumo. Then we can claim their bounty and be in our merry way without getting into trouble with people who can obliterate our whole village. Like they did with Uzu.”

“And yet Karin has been my classmate for two years now.” Because what the Boss Dude just spewed is a stinky pile of bullshit, anyone unscrupulous enough to ‘acquire’ an Uzumaki will fight tooth and nail to keep them. And that includes Kusa.

“We made a deal with one Uzumaki Kurisu, when they first arrived in the village.” Wait, what? That’s news to me. “She used her very rare and valuable medical bloodline limit to keep our village as healthy as possible and, in return, we take her family in.”

Damn, so that’s why…

“Unfortunately, she can no longer hold her part of the bargain. Considering that, after heroically saving the lives of a non-negligible number of our forces all through the last week… She passed away from physical exhaustion as of twelve hours ago.”

His words feel like a bucket of ice water. Suddenly I feel myself unable to react, struggling to breathe, and holding back the urge to break into shivers. Whatever amusement I felt at this situation is completely and utterly erased.

“Shimada?”

“... Would you mind repeating that?” By some miracle, my voice comes out neutral.

“Uzumaki Kurisu passed away twelve hours ago, leaving an orphan daughter as a charge of the village.”

Damnit Karin! Why am I just hearing of this now? When I get to you I swear I’ll—! I’ll… Hug that fixation you have with bottling up your troubles out of you! Aren’t we friends? Why don’t you tell me these things?

… Should I have noticed by myself? I mean, she’s been downtrodden for a while and she did mention Uzumama wasn’t feeling well, but I never connected the dots. Am I... a bad friend?

“Do you have any idea how much the Academy has bent backwards to accommodate you?” Boss Dude presses on. “Dropping advanced classes to remain with a friend’ isn’t something usually accepted. But we did it for you, because you were an investment. And now we find ourselves in a situation where two different investments conflict. Which one we incline towards hands on your dedication to the village.”

“We will…” As I’m saying it, I know it’s not going to fly. But I have to try, damnit. “The Shimada will take Karin in.”

“You are aware I have the final say in that sort of matters, don’t you?” He asks with an arched brow. “For the good of the village, I can and will ensure the Uzumaki of Kusa keep their end of the bargain”

TLDR: Shimada are remarkably hard to control, but I have you by the balls. Cooperate and no Uzumaki has to suffer a fate worse than death by my hand.

"You are excused from the Academy for the rest of the day. Go home and think about you future."

I leave the building in a daze, the surprise and the sudden realization that my future is not in my hands -as if there was any doubt I’ll take their rotten deal- doing a good job at freezing my mind. During the walk though, astonishment and incredulity make way to seething anger.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!! Who does the Boss Dude think he is, thus threatening my precious? Does he want a Kusagakure-shaped burn mark on the world maps? Is that what he wants? Because I will be happy to oblique!

I’ll rip his legs and use them to break his arms! I’ll feed him his own eyes and strangle him with his own guts! Then I’ll make a soup bowl with his skull and use it to drink his own blood on the burning ashes of this shitty place! I’ll show him for the good of the village!!

… Once I’m strong enough to pull it off. Which might take years. And by then nobody will give us back our lost youth. So there will be no point. The anger cools the heck back down in a snap.

Crap. Think, Ran, think. If you can’t beat them, and you don’t wanna join them, and for once you’re actually not sure which side Mother would pick… what do you do?

Getting even is… delayable. Optional, actually. Now that the seething anger has passed I think the things going through my mind where a teensy little bit… dare I say disproportionate? Pointless at the very least. I don’t want to burn down Kusa, it’s where I keep my stuff.

The important thing is keeping Karin untouchable, while making sure the cost for said untouchableness isn’t a Sword of Damocles over me. So, how to go about that in a way that does —

Maybe...

Okay… Okay. Yes, I have an idea. An insanely complex and absolutely crazy idea that’ll take a lot of work and low-key mindfuckery. First I need a specialty. A very flashy and obvious specialty that’ll allow me to make a name for myself fast. I have five elemental non-affinities, I’m sure I can whip something together.

Would be easier with access to Kage Bunshin to replicate Hiruzen’s Ultimate Jutsu from the Ninja Storm games, but I’ll make do.

Then I need a hidden specialty. Something the smart ones will know to look for beyond all my flashy jutsu. Preferable something that justifies hours of isolation in a secluded space where nothing remains behind after I leave. Ideally it would be seals, since that plays into what’s already known of me but that gives me no excuse for isolation.

… Waitaminute. What’s better than spamming explosive tags to crush the enemy? Remote-triggered storage seals filled with chemical explosives! Chemistry is so much easier to personalize than seals, I could pretty much have an explosive for each situation. It also plays on my known interests, so it’ll surprise people, they’ll arch their brows and think ‘how creative’ and then go on with their lives without sparing a second thought.

Once I have all that into place, I can start working on my reputation… and in mastering a completely different discipline I’ll show to absolutely no one. Because my plan is stupid reckless, overly elaborate and relies in both absolute secrecy and an Uzumaki’s protectiveness towards family.

I know I can count on one of those, the other is up to my own efforts.

I’m also kicking Karin’s training up a notch. Remember when I said no friend of mine would be bear fodder? I meant it.

A bit more confident about my chances, if not looking forward to the near future, I walk the rest of the way home. When I get in though, there’s a surprise waiting. Mother is sitting at the table, waiting for me, in front of two cups.

Two cups holding something a bit stronger than tea.

Surprise! I’m back! Updates might be a bits slower than before, at least for a while. QMing is a time hog, especially the first updates.

So! The dirty and ugly has finally splashed Ran directly, and it’s touched some sensitive triggers of hers. To make it worse, in this one circumstance she doesn’t know which side Mother will take, because it’s the freakin village against her. And Mother is ‘a flawless ninja’. That means loyalty to the village, so yeah.

Of course, she’s unhappy so she counterplots. There are things hinted there I don’t expect anyone to figure out, but hopefully you’ll remember this scene when they come into play later on.

Planeshunter · Jul 20, 2020

021 - On precious people and obsessive behaviour (My priorities to a T)

I sat at the table and picked my cup without a word. Playing with the liquid inside, I wondered how to start. Didn’t take me long to realize it was obvious and down the cup. It burnt all the way down, but I held it in. Maybe it’s the first time Ran’s body has alcohol, but it isn’t my first rodeo, you know?

Mother looked vaguely impressed when I put the cup down without so much as a twitch. Then she served me a refill.

“You knew about Karin’s mom.” There’s no question, no accusation. A part of me wantes to. To rave and break things, and to yell at her. But this is Mother, so I’ll just listen to what she has to say.

“I did.”

“...Why didn’t you do anything?” My cup is refilled again.

For the longest of times, she doesn’t answer. Once, I would’ve assumed the conversation was over, but by I now recognise the pattern. She’s just putting her thoughts in order.

“… Have you heard of the superman’s dilemma?” She asks after taking a sip from her own cup.

Well, that came out of the left field… As far as I know, ‘Superman’s dilemma’ is a term that can actually be applied to two different problems, and I guess Mother as super or more than any pajama wearing caped good samaritan.

One of them contemplates a superman who can save anyone, but not everyone. How does he pick who will be saved? Because no matter what criteria the superman follows, choosing who will be saved is no different from choosing who will die.

Does he have any right to do that? But everything gets worse if he doesn’t, so he has to. I guess you could call this one the Kiritsugu Dilemma¹, if you want to be cute. I take a sip from my cup.

The other dilemma asks, assuming he could solve all troubles, whether he should or not. People need a certain level of struggle in their lives to develop as individuals. If they never have to worry about anything, they’ll remain children until they die of old age.

You could call this one the Axiom Dilemma², I guess. I take another sip.

… Now that I think about it, there’s a third Superman dilemma. If he can save anyone, and in this world there is always someone in need for saving, when does the superman take a break? When does he do things other than save people, when doing so means people go without saving?

I’ll call this one the Panacea Dilemma³. Mother refills my cup.

“I have heard of more than one.” I finally answer. “But I don’t see how they apply to you, Mother. You don’t care about saving everyone, so you can pick those you want to save, and take breaks as required. And I know better than anyone you won’t let those you care for grow fat and soft. Your love is the living example of tough love.”

Did I really say the ‘L’ word? … It must be all the sake. I take another ship.

“So you do know three of them, impressive.” Is it suddenly hot in here, or is it the alcohol? I take another sip. “There’s a fourth dilemma that fits the name. What does the superman do when the person who needs saving refuses to accept it? Should he accept their wishes or save them against their will?”

Ah, now I get it.

“Freedom of choice?” I ask.

“Self-determination is the core of my beliefs.” She nods, taking a sip of her own. “I will never take that away from those I love.” Damn, even she’s throwing that word around. It’s definitely the sake.

“Even if that was the right thing to do?” I refill her cup.

“What does ‘right’ mean, Ran?” She immediately empties it, and I refill it again. “Any sufficiently powerful individual must be, by necessity, removed from common morality. Because trying to follow rules made for other people will only cause trouble. What we call morality is a system that only works amongst reasonably equal individuals⁴. What’s right is what I can live with, and taking away your choices isn’t.”

There’s a lot of deep and complicated stuff being said, but that last sentence is one I can get behind no questions asked. What’s right is what I can live with, simple and easy. Knowing what you’ll be able to live with on the spot might be a bit harder in practice, though.

“By the time I met Kurisu,” She continues. “she was an empty woman, beaten and broken by life, and pushing herself forwards only because of her love for Karin. I did my best to make her happy but, once she realized her daughter was in good hands, it was only a matter of time. So I’ll hurt, I’ll endure, and I’ll know I did the right thing.” She empties her cup, and I refill. “At least she died smiling.”

And I understand, I truly do. Mother is the way Mother is, and not even being flawless saves you from, sometimes, being faced with impossible choices.

But I’m not Mother. I’m prodigious, but not flawless, I’m allowed to be selfish. And Karin isn’t Uzumama. She’ll have a future if that’s the last thing I do. I have my plans. They aren’t super fun, in fact are the opposite of super fun, but they’re there. It won’t be easy, I’ll regret taking this course of action more than once and being this extreme is most likely me overreacting, but I’m already committed so screw that. We’ll see through all this bullshit.

I grab a new bottle and drink straight from there until it’s empty. Mother tries to look disapproving, but there’s an amused smirk in her lips ruining her act.

I am… an obsessive person. I had a vague awareness about that fact going as far back as my past life, but during the last two years of academy I’ve had enough time to realize how bizarre my personal insanity is. Probably my new genetics didn’t help much here.

Stupid Shimada blood.

That’s when I notice the tower of sake bottles piling up besides us. How much, exactly, did we drink?

No matter, my plan always in mind, I immediately dive into my new schedule.

(1) After Emiya Kiritsugu, from Fate/Zero
(2) After the spacecraft Axiom, from WALL-E. Laugh all you want, I loved that movie
(3) After Amy Dallon, from Worm.
(4) This set of beliefs around morality might become relevant in future stories of mine. I have at least one main character that wields that philosophy like a blunt weapon.

Okay, maybe not immediately. I have something to do first.

Today was a bit of a special day in the Academy, you see. While I missed it due to… you know, being summoned by Boss Dude to be blackmailed, there were special events going all the way to the evening. First day officially working with chakra, need to make sure nobody will blow their own heads up or something. Kind of a big deal. It was even true for the clanless kids.

What an amazing coincidence it was planned for today, right? Right, I don’t believe in coincidences either, but this works in my favour. It means Karin is only just leaving when I finally drag my ass back to the Academy.

“Ran-san?” She greets me as soon as I step into view. “What was that about? Are you alright?”

“No I ain’t.” I grumble. “Som’one forgot to tell me important things, and Imma terrible friend, so I didn’t notice.”

“It’s not your fault!” She hurries to protest. Good, at least she knows what she’s done. “I just, um.. Didn’t want to...” Then she cuts herself with a squeak, because I trap her in a bear hug. I’m gonna to cuddle the sad out of her if is the last thing I do.

“Didn’t wanna to worry me?” I ask softly into her ear, she nods without a word. “A whole lot of piss that did. Ev’ry time you keep som’thing like this from me, feels like you dun trust me. ...It hurts.”

“N— No! That’s not it!” She protests, pulling back to look me in the eye. Sweet Madoka but her eyes are beautiful. “I’ll never want that!”

“Then you hafta stop bottelling up everything, Karin.” Then I pause, because there’s something I always ass-u-me’d but never asked. And it’s kinda important. “We’re friends, right?”

“Are you… drunk?” Darnit, that wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

“Maybe I am, maybe I am not. I came straight right here from a hash... negotation.” I keep piling up my debts with Mother, and I still have no idea how to even start paying them off. “Speaking of that, we hafta go pick your things, yer now a Shimada ward and will be living home with us.”

And that’s half-drunk Ran for you. Wanted to keep writing the rest of the evening, but the narrative kinda stalled there. Next chapter will start with her waking up the day after and remembering things.[/spoiler.]

Planeshunter · Jul 17, 2020

022 - On getting drunk and waking up with a pretty girl (Never thought it’d happen to me!)

I wake up groggily, feeling slightly sick, utterly disoriented and somehow incredibly warm and comfy. My first impulse is to bury myself deeper in my futon and enjoy the feeling, so that’s what I do. Cuddling closer to the soft body besides me, I let out a satisfied sigh as it softly moans and do my bes—

Cue screeching vinyl player.

Body going tense as my mind brutally and suddenly clears, I reach with my senses to try and figure out what’s going on. The first thing I recognise is Karin’s smell, which is consistent with the size of the body in my arms, and the texture of the hair on my face. Okay, that’s… that’s good, I think? At least it’s not bad. Forcing my locked up muscles to relax again, I try to figure out what the hell is going on.

I’m sharing futon with Karin. I slept with Karin! We’re both wearing our pajamas, which is both a relief and a disappointment. Because puberty, yeah. But I still slept with Karin! Who so happens to be my best friend. Who is feeling like shit because her mother just died. So she’s vulnerable and in need for affection. And as far as I know, isn’t even physiologically ready for… the fun stuff.

Yeah, cool your jets, Ran. That’s your friend you’re platonically sleeping with. It means nothing. Except that she’s the most huggable creature this side of a Kuriboh and there’s nobody in the world she’d rather hug than you.

Damn, romantic or platonic, that’s a heady feeling.

… And so not the point, Ran! Time to stop perving on your best friend and figure out how you ended up in this rather enviable position to begin with. I remember being blackmailed by the Boss Dude and getting back home in a rage, where Mother was waiting for me and… we had a… philosophical discussion? Yeah, I think that’s what it was.

A philosophical discussion mixed with lots and lots of alcohol. Mother because she was obviously grieving in her own special way, and me because… well, I was monumentally pissed off, and had to distract myself somehow. I vaguely remember getting a promise out of her to get Karin’s custody, which would explain why she’s here but…

Hey, cut me some slack, it was the first time I drank, and we emptied the damn cellar. In fact, I have the distinct impression I should be dead to the world, feeling like any loud noise is a jackhammer on my brain and the faintest brightness burning my eyes and not… ‘Slightly sick’

Can’t even get properly hungov— wait, that’s a good thing. You win this time, stupid Shimada blood.

And I still don’t remember how we ended up like this. I think I went to pick up Karin after consuming enough alcohol to kill your average white whale, then we… went to her home to get her things? Oh, yeah. I kind of remember being surprised when we didn’t end up in that dingy apartment that was her first home in Kusa.

Apparently they were offered a decent living space sometime later and they moved. How weird it is that I never visited? But with Karin spending most of the day with me and Uzumama always coming to pick her up, I guess the chance never came.

In any case I helped her pack and seal up everything. Fortunately I wasn’t quite drunk enough to offer drawing up my own storage seals on the fly for that. Carelessly drawn seals are trouble. Things still tend to come out explode-y from them. And in random directions. And in random states of integrity.

Truly, a poorly drawn seal is one of the most dangerous weapons in this world. Unfortunately, they’re an unpredictable and aggressively indiscriminate weapon.

By the time we arrived back home, I was starting to crash down, and Karin’s mood wasn’t exactly in a good place either, so I made the laziest omelet rolls I’ve cooked in my life and we went to bed without unpacking anything. Karin made some feeble attempts at getting her own futon, but I was having nothing of that.

I had a promise to keep, and hugs and cuddles were part of it. When she starts waking up, I put my own frustrations away and get my best smile ready. Making sure she doesn’t dwell on sad things too much is another part or it, after all.

“Wakey wakey, sleepy head!”

“Uh, Ran-san?” She blinks a couple of times, making a fair impression of an owl. “What are you doing… oh.”

“Oh, indeed! Hey, I wasn’t on top of my game yesterday, so in case I didn’t do it then, let me welcome you to the Shimada household! You already know where everything is, but now you live here.” That gets a giggle out of her, and I take the chance to slip out of the futon before she realizes what position we were in and gets all weird. “And without further ado, let’s get our morning workout out of the way! There are some paired exercises I never had the chance to try out before!”

“Morning… workout?”

“Wait, you never did light training in the morning?” When she shakes her head I almost stumble, but I recover quickly. “Well, that’s not going to fly in Chateau Shimada, I’m afraid. Up you go, the yard awaits, and after we tire ourselves out the delicious breakfasts will be even deliciouser!” There are people who don’t work out in the mornings? The more one knows…

“Ran-san?” I pause to look back at her, already halfway to the door. “Will it be ‘light training’ or ‘light training’.”

“Clever girl.” Then I send a wink her way and keep walking out. “Mother is King in this home, take your guess~”

As the door closes behind me, I have to hold back a chuckle at her dismayed groan. Then a burst of uncertainty takes my good mood away. Did I overdo the bubbliness? I hope I didn’t overdo the bubbliness. I want her too distracted to feel blue, not wondering whether I’m on drugs.

For all her complaints, Karin kept up with my morning routine like a champ. I guess her body hasn’t forgotten summer camp just yet.

“Cheer up!” I chirp as she collapses in her seat in front of me and I drop in the table a tray full of eggs, bacon and sausages. “Mother was kind enough to stock the fridge with extra-greasy food, so we get to have an obscenely unhealthy breakfast!”

We start eating with gusto, until Karin’s hands stop and she sends a furtive look my way. She continues eating, but there’s something in her demeanor that’s no longer the same. And she keeps shooting hesitant looks at me. Should I say something? Does she need some comfort talk? Or am I being a helicopter friend and making a big deal of things she’d be better not dwelling on?

I would know if I was a psychologist, but I’m not. I’d probably know if ‘helicopter friend’ is a real term, too.

“Um… Ran-san?” Oh, well, as long as she starts the conversation…

“Yeah?” I reach for the glass of juice, intent on not making a big deal out of this unless she does first.

“You said some things last night.” Oh, crap, did I? “You’re… going to be busy this year? Because some meanie?”

“... Last time I get drunk, I swear.” I rub my forehead in frustration. It’s not like this is a secret or something, but I doubt I was delicate about it, if I was calling the Boss Dude a ‘meanie’. “Boss threw the book at me. I have to start giving my all to my studies or he’ll be a jerk about it. I’ll still spend as much time as possible with you! It just… it’ll be more studying and training and less playing.”

For some reason, that makes her laugh. It’s a nice laugh, complemented with an amused look thrown at me. Not sure what I’ve done right but… go, me!

“Ran-san, it’s always studying and training with you. Well, that and cuddling” She grumbles. Without any heat. While blushing furiously. Holy Triforce that’s adorable.“I don’t think we’ve ever just...wasted time together.”

“Come on, I’m not that bad, am I? I remember teaching you how to play hopscotch and jackstones”

“Coordination training.”

“We also spent evenings just sitting on the porch talking about things.”

“Debate and philosophy training, that’s when we weren’t just talking about our other lessons.” Why you little… “Accept it, Ran-san, we’ve never painted our nails, or tried clothes, or talked about cute boys. You don’t do ‘idle chat’.”

“And you’re copying my speech patterns now, apparently.” I grumble.

“Well, we’ve been best friends for years now…” Still, my heart! Don’t lose it for the first cute girl who smiles at you with mischief!

“Okay, yeah, sure, whatever.” Smooth, Ran, smooth. “Anyway, it’ll be a busy year. Shall we start?”

“Let’s blow this joint!”

“... Where did you hear that?”

“From a genin team.”

“I’d love it if you let me know who they are next time we see them so I can say hi. And Karin?”

“Yes, Ran-san?”

“... Please don’t say it ever again.”

And that was that. Hangover forgotten and worries postponed, we head to class. This year won’t be much fun, but I’m going to squeeze every single drop of it where I can.

Could’ve sworn I had some comments to make about this chapter, but can’t for my life’s worth remember them. It’s Friday and I just woke up, cut me some slack

Planeshunter · Jul 20, 2020

I had this ready to post yesterday but… someone talked me into getting FE: Three Houses this Friday, and it’s thrown my schedule for a loop. Yesterday… yes, yesterday I kinda forgot the world existed. My bad. Tehee~

023 - A year in hell (or ‘Training montage for overachievers’)

Boss Dude required me to stop being lazy, and gave me reasons to motivate my enthusiasm. Probably more motivation than he actually intended, but I don’t do things half-cocked and I really don’t like Boss Dude’s face anymore. So I devoted myself to my new schedule. Whenever I faltered, I only had to remember my seething rage at that smug son of a bitch presuming to dictate my life.

Not that I faltered often, because waking up cuddling with Karin was a hell of a morale booster. Don’t ask me how that happened, by the way. I had a proper room ready for her and I made sure she knew, because I’m not the kind of trash who takes advantage of the situation like this, but Karin straight up ignored it.

You can imagine my surprise that first -actually second- day, when she went to change into her pajamas and got into my futon to cuddle without a word. It might’ve taken a lot of willpower to tell her again she had her own room if she wanted to use it, but I did. She might’ve nodded against my chest as her only answer, and cuddled closer. I might’ve shrugged and put an arm around her. I’m weak, okay?

In any case, thanks to that my routine began with complicated maneuvers to extricate myself from Karin’s sleepy grasp without waking her up, at the first light of dawn.

From there it was physical conditioning. I didn’t want to turn into the second coming of she-hulk, so it was mostly aerobic exercise and flexibility, along with eye-hand coordination training. Training weights would be more than enough for any complementary muscle training.

By the time it wasn’t such an ungodly hour anymore, Karin joined me in my cool down exercises. Not to boast or anything, but it’s been stated before by independent sources that my cool down exercises are enough to count as serious workout for a normal person.

Yes, it was Karin who said so. Why do you ask?

The worst part of the day was the time I spent on theoretical studies at the Academy, I only managed to trudge through lessons that bore me to tears thanks to heavy drug abuse. And with that I mean caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine.

Still, some classes were simply impossible. I mean, what’s a girl who has cryptology down pat and is pioneering in gravitational physics in her spare time supposed to do during ‘Math for Dummies’?

But appearing to keep to the curriculum was my own way to be difficult without breaking Boss Dude’s rules, so I kept at it while surreptitiously pulling out my books for other, more interesting subjects and making sure I had them down pat instead, becoming the first ever master of the art of Stealthy Study.

I’m prodigious like that.

Evening meant more training, this time with Karin at my side for everything. Knowing what to expect of the future, I made sure Mother found a good personal tutor on the subject of chakra control. Katekyo C was a traveling monk that she somehow convinced to stay in Kusa for the year. He was really good at both talking us through chakra exercises and turning my arguments against myself when we talked.

I had more fun that I probably should with the guy. He never told us his name though, so I decided to call him Shifu¹. Because I already had too many sensei.

All this helped me a lot with my elemental transformations, but I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off anything useful anytime soon. Mother wasn’t kidding when she said not having an affinity was a serious handicap. Karin, on the other hand, kept cheating with her [Mind’s Eye of the Kagura] to get more than she should out of her training. Not that I resent her, if you’re not cheating you aren’t trying enough and I very much want Karin to try. And those [Uzumaki Adamantine Chains] of hers aren’t going to manifest themselves without a generous pool and firm control on her chakra.

After dinner, I cloistered myself in an underground room, where I ostensibly practiced my secret specialization full time. In all fairness, I did some practice, as the noxious fumes that left the room from time to time can attest, but I mainly left that for my time with Katekyo A. Unsupervised chemistry experiments being a bad idea and all that.

No, I mainly got ready for my plans for the future down there.

Let me tell you, this was the hardest part, because I was developing a completely different skill set that nobody could know about. So not only was I trailblazing a new field, but I had to be very careful not to develop any telling habits around it.

Fortunately it was something that could be learnt from books, and practiced behind closed doors in a windowless room. There’s no way I would’ve managed to keep any kind of outdoor training secret in a shinobi village. Small mercies.

Yeah, Karin’s presence or not, this last year of Academy wasn’t any fun.

I woke up tired and went to bed completely exhausted, only having decent sleep to get ready for a test. My migraines were the stuff of legends and a low-level headache was an almost constant partner. My growth would predictably be stunted. Even when I visited the hospital to ask about possible palliatives, they couldn’t do much for me beside recommending a healthy diet and… well, to stop doing that to myself.

....

Fat chance of that happening.

I also became somewhat irrational due to my lack of sleep and constantly aching body, snapping aggressively against anyone and anything that bothered me. Except Karin who had approaching privileges. Even Mother earned her share of sharp words.

Yes, I snapped at Mother. Sleep deprivation makes fools out of the best of us.

You could say I took the maxim ‘this is a time to learn’ to the extreme. Had any potentially lethal incident happened during this time period, I would certainly be dead now, because I was in no shape to react to the unexpected. But hey, I learned a lot and I learned fast. That was my part of the bargain.

(1)Shifu: Chinese for master, in the non-kinky way.

Finally, after far, far too long, the year ended.

Graduation tests in Kusa were a bit less demanding than those of Konoha, and with that I mean only a couple of hopefuls -or maybe you could call them ‘hopeless’ instead- failed. The philosophy in Grass is different from Konoha’s, where the graduation itself was supposed to prove the worth of the genin hopefuls. Here, graduation means you’ve gone through the necessary lessons, nothing more nothing less.

Dropping out is forbidden and graduation is a joke. The obvious conclusion is that the reputation of Kusa’s Academy is artificially inflated, since really there’s no merit in getting a forehead protector. And yet civilians look favorably on Academy graduates just because they spent four years listening to a teacher and wear an ugly metal ornament in their heads.

We got a passionate and absolutely empty speech about how real life is supposed to be the test, which is both terribly impractical and yet the fairest judgement possible. Think about it: You die, you fail; you live, you pass. Passing grades may be revised at a later date if you… you know, die.

Of course it also means there’s no retaking the test. Terribly lazy and an utter waste but hey, it’s cheap to implement. And most shinobi that fall in the line of duty don’t leave enough pieces to even need coffins.

“What are you thinking, Ran-san?” Karin’s voice pulls me from my reverie.

“Unflattering thoughts about how these tests were a farce.” I answer without thinking. “I mean, what’s the point of a test that 95% of the class passes? Might as well just throw the forehead protectors at us.”

“I agree, Shimada.” Ryūzetsu, with Muku right behind, joins the conversation. She even seems to mean her words. Without suffering physical pain for it. “But then we wouldn’t be able to say we’re following the famous Konoha Academy system.”

“Kami keep our village from losing a free reputation boost.” I nod at her. We haven’t become friends or anything sappy like that, hell I haven’t had time to think about making new friends, but we’re in far better terms. No confrontations, no taunts… we actually try to work together if we get paired for whatever the reason. On days like today, when I’ve actually slept properly, we even greet each other if we cross paths.

Though this might be the first time we actually hold a conversation. Wonder if her family finally stopped breathing on her neck? I’m glad Ryūzetsu grew up, childish behavior by those who don’t know better is easy to forgive but, from tomorrow on, she’ll be an adult responsible for her actions.

We actually walk together for a while before going our separate ways, the four of us. Conversation is stilted and there’s a lot awkward silences, but such is life. I’m socially retarded and still might be the most competent in the field here, so give us some slack.

“We’re home.” I’m a bit surprised when nobody answers. It’s not that Mother had said anything about being home for my graduation but… you know, I kind of expected it. Instead I bake a cake. Because I haven’t had time to cook in a damn full year, and today I deserve a break.

“Ran-san?” Karin calls to me after I take the finished cake from the oven to let it cool down.

“Mm, Karin? Is something the problem?” Now that I think about it, she’s been kinda quiet today. I wonder what’s going through her head.

“There’s no problem but…” She stops there for a moment, before throwing a radiant smile my way. “Remember my first birthday party?”

“How could I forget? I was cleaning up evil strips of coloured paper for a week afterwards.” I feign a shiver at my own words, before remembering something else and feeling a bit gloomy. “I also kinda imposed my friendship on you back then, didn’t I? Can’t believe I took a year to even ask whether you actually considered me a friend or not.”

“No, nothing like that!” She hurries to protest. “The locket made me very happy! I’m the one who’s sorry it took me so long to return your words.”

Before I can open my mouth again she puts a small wrapped box on my hands. Probably a good idea, we could’ve ended up in an eternal cycle of ‘my fault, not yours’. A graduation present? Welp, I have nothing for her, now I feel like a jerk.

But when I open it, all thoughts flee my head. It’s a locket. For a moment, I think she’s giving hers back to me, but a quick glance confirms she’s still wearing it. It’s a matching locket, exactly like the one I gifted her back then and she’s faithfully worn the last two years.

Every single day.

[media]

There’s it is, the same inscription I engraved in hers: ‘BFF’

“Ran-san, are you ok?”

“Yeah, just...” I bite back a sniffle. I’m not crying. I’m not. “There must be someone cutting onions nearby. Damn ninjas, amrite?” She smiles, and doesn’t push it.

“Your mom told me there was a secret way to open the locket, using the matching one.” She says instead. “But that you ran out of money to actually make a matching one. That gave me the idea.”

Stupid Mothers conspiring with your best friends to try and make you cry… Where in the world Ran got the money for it it’s beyond me, but I’m not so crass as to tell her she shouldn’t have bothered.

“I have been helping your mom when you were busy, silly.” She answers my unasked question with a giggle. “Not that it’s been easy this last year. Remember when you used to complain your gramps was a slave-driver?”

“I wasn’t that ba—” I cut myself becacause, alright, fair is fair. I kinda deserved that. “Okay, maybe. But it was for a good reason. No friend of mine will end up as bear fodder.”

“You have an unhealthy fixation with bears, Ran-san.”

“Ran.”

“Huh?”

“You’re my best friend, I’m your best friend. Honorifics are pointless. Call me Ran.”

She makes a show of thinking it over. “On one condition.” She answers, raising a finger.

“What?”

“I get to be the big spoon tonight.”

If I was someone else, my blush would’ve gone nuclear at that. Sweet innocent Karin has no right to turn innuendo back against me, it’s against the natural order of things! Fortunately I’m not someone else, so I’m not blushing at all. Not even a little bit.

The same way there’s no tear tracks running down my cheeks.

Because I’m a Shimada and I’m a hard ass bitch. So that’s definitely not happening.

…

…

Stupid Shimada blood, had to fail me now of all times.

That night, I went to sleep with the novel but very welcome sensation of Karin’s presence behind me and her arms around my body. I dreamt of warm, flowing red, and everything was well with the world.

The following day we get our teams assigned, and I get a new appreciation for how much of a cunt the Boss Dude can be.

Karin is not in my team.

Planeshunter · Feb 13, 2021

024 - Boss Dude interlude: Balancing Act

Being leader of a small hidden village, he reflects. Is suffering. A headache after another, herding cats -very big and wilful cats, with deadly claws and little sense-, while trying to keep the place from being run over by the great powers of the world.

Sure they have the Blood Prison, which is actually a fairly good deterrent against the big villages. Nobody wants their criminals being released because they pushed Grass too far after all. And then there’s the people who are convinced they have a super weapon from the times of the Sage.

They wouldn’t be so worried if they knew what the ‘super weapon’ actually is about, but it works well against the paranoid people of the shinobi world. Nobody wants to risk a… what was the word? Nuclear option? Yes, nobody wants to risk a nuclear option going off without very good reasons.

Which doesn’t really do much to keep the village powers themselves from tearing at each other. What in the world possessed the Haizuki elders to try and ostracize the Shimada Heir he’ll never understand. At least that’s done and dusted. And, by some miracle, there are no new smoldering craters in the village. Small mercies.

And speaking of herding cats, he’s the one who gets to deal with the ‘geniuses’ being born each generation, all of them believing they’re the Sage incarnate, with their spushial powers and their far too sharp for their own good intellects. Intellect without wisdom is, maybe, the worst trait combination ever, and he has to deal with it on a daily basis.

Sure, having a bunch of eccentric powerhouses fighting for your village sounds good and all on paper, but handling normal shinobi already is headache-inducing enough. Everytime a new ‘genius of a generation’ pops up, his hair goes a bit whiter. He actually built a small shrine to whoever merciful god took pity of him when Muku’s psych profile came back stating he was a subdued and fairly agreeable individual.

Of course, the little monster who had shown no interest in shinobi life whatsoever had to enroll in the academy anyway and muddle the waters, because he cannot have nice things without somehow things getting even worse. His only relief sometimes is the fact he only has to deal with a small bunch of them. He shudders to think what the five Kages life is like, with their ‘villages brimming with talent’. No wonder they’re all crazy.

Sometimes… sometimes it’s not that hard to put oneself in the Mizukage’s shoes. He also has daydreamed about bloodline purges once or twice.

But that’s his lot in life, isn’t it? He knew what it meant to become leader, and he went for it anyway. It means long sleepless nights, wondering whether a Daimyo will fancy a strip of your land and you’ll have to remind their shinobi why the land is yours to begin with. It means mediating between old feuds capable of throwing the village into a civil war if the wrong word is uttered at the wrong time.

It also means he really needs to deal with that unhealthy codependency between Uzumaki and Shimada before someone besides him learns to exploit it and he’s suddenly short two valuable assets. And then the older monster will be pissed, and he’s not sure where or when the heads will stop rolling.

Because of course the little monster had to latch to the most troublesome person possible. It wasn’t only three of the big five that had a blanket order for anyone of Uzumaki blood. There were a series of independent parties interested in getting their paws on them too, specially young and healthy ones. Usually, he just fends them off either through force or leveraging the specialties of Kusa to make them back off.

That stopped being a viable tactic when, last year, Orochi-I-get-a-boner-murderizing-shinobi-and-playing-around-with-bloodlines-fucking-maru just walked in to have a ‘casual talk’ with him, making idle comments about his sword¹ that were totally not a threat and doing a fair impression of a meat grinder on his regular forces.

Grass’ political deterrences are notably ineffective against missing-nin without any investment in those spheres.

If nothing else, his visit drove home the message that Uzumaki Karin was never going to be a Kusa asset for long. It also took everything the mother had just to save the wounded survivors of the deranged Sannin’s ‘little social call’. He hadn’t lied to the little monster when he said Kurisu had died heroically. Without her intervention, the loss of manpower just from crossing the man would’ve been catastrophic.

A year ago he’d told the little monster he had to choose between two investments. But the truth is, there was no choice to be made. He’s going to lose the Uzumaki to the snake, and has to make sure he didn’t lose anything else.

That means separating them after graduation, and doctoring their schedules so they spend as little time together as possible until the inevitable passes. He could’ve become a world-famous above-jonin shinobi, but he chose the job that involves playing matchmaker for preteens instead.

He has even tried the ‘She’s a genius you’re only holding her back’ angle on the Uzumaki, and instead of backing off, the little twerp had doubled down on her own training! He’d had to burn all the psych profiling they had on the girl and hang the author by his toes, because it was all obviously a pile of bullshit.

A puff of smoke on his ‘In’ tray draws his attention, and he opens the newly arrived scroll in an effort to distract himself for the bullshit that’s his life. Another request for the Kusa ANBU. There is no Kusa ANBU!

“It sure would be nice to have an entire corps dedicated to guarding me and doing the dirty jobs… right Dragon?”

“Why devote an entire corps for something I can do by myself?” The presence of a masked shinobi registers out of nowhere right behind him right as her voice is heard and he has to bite down a curse. He’s sure the damn woman is doing it on purpose. “That’s a dangerous game you’re playing with my daughter.”

Oh, so that’s what has her pissed off. “You drew the line and I’ve never crossed it, woman.” He retorts, acting with a calmness he’s far from feeling. “All my ‘i’s are dotted and all my ‘t’s are crossed. “

“And as long as that remains true, I won’t act on her behalf.” Good, that’s all he needs from her on that matter. “But don’t expect me to act in yours against her, either. You keep assuming my daughter is me and will react like me. That will be your undoing, in the end.”

Yeah, that wasn’t ominous at all…

Oh, well, with some luck, the little monster’s loyalty will extend to her new teammates and the single-minded focus becomes something a bit more balanced. From there, it won’t be too hard to involve the whole village. Besides, he doesn’t plan on keeping the seat long enough for the little monster to become a big monster, so there’s that.

Worse comes to worst, there’s another advantage to keep the two girls separated and under loyal eyes. It’s mighty hard to protect someone that spends their life on the other side of the country, isn’t it?

Busy as he is planning contingencies it takes a moment to register that Dragon’s last words sounded after she’d already disappeared. A glance around and quick check on his own chakra system reveal no genjutsu. Fucking scary woman.

(1)Kusanagi: Lit. “Grass Cutter”.

Planeshunter · Jul 26, 2020

025 - Team Six (or ‘What do you mean there are no D Ranks?’)

My first meeting with ‘my team’ doesn’t actually happen until the following day. We’ve all been called to one of the training grounds for our first face to face. I mean, sure, they mentioned the names of my teammates back in the classroom, yesterday, but I was a bit busy hearing ‘not Karin’ to pay attention to anything else.

Not like I can actually match a name with a face. I mean, I’ve been a bit busy with more important things than paying attention to a bunch of brats, these last years. Anyway, first meeting in the morning, we’ll be introduced to our sensei. We’ll probably not have a ‘real genin test’ though, because Kusa’s cheap copy of the Academy methods are cheap.

For a brief, marvellous moment, I entertain the idea of pulling a Kakashi and getting there four hours late. But I really don’t have the temperament to waste time like that.

Stupid Shimada blood.

So here I am, arriving exactly in time, to somewhere I don’t want to be, with some people I don’t want to be with, because of reasons I don’t agree with. Shinobi life in a nutshell. Then I notice who my team exactly is.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Seriously, why? Couldn’t it at least be Muku and Ryūzetsu? I can at least be civil with Muku and Ryūzetsu! “Is it too late to confess I cheated in the exam and should be retaking the last year in the Academy?”

“No can do, little monster. You’re stuck with us.”

“Well, crap.” I let out a sigh, gathering my patience. The next year or three promise to be trying. “Cyclops-sensei, Cyclops-chan, Whatsyourface… please treat me well or whatever.”

“... Adorable.” Cyclops-sensei mutters, trying to go for a nonchalant image. Kinda failing at it, too. “Well, we’re together from today until you inevitably mess up and die a horrible death, so I want to hear your introductions to the rest of Team Six and—”

I can help it, I snort at that. Because, really. Boss Dude might be an utter cunt, but he at least has a wicked sense of humour.

“Care to share with the rest what you feel is so amusing?”

“Well, we’re team six...” I might have to swallow my complaints and play along… “And that’s the number of eyes we have, all put together.” But it doesn’t mean I have to be nice about it.

“Why you little—!” Cyclops-sensei makes to admonish me, but Cyclops-chan acts faster, jumping at my neck with an inarticulate scream.

So of course I get under her arms, tap her chin with a light jab and then use her own foce to throw her to the other side of the field. Nothing that could cause permanent damage, of course, we’re all friends here.

… For a certain definition of ‘friends’. I still remember how Karin was abandoned in the Forest of Death by her teammates, a lifetime ago.

For some reason, my demonstration of skill with taunts, situational awareness, quick reaction and sheer physical prowess only earns me a death glare. Well, more like a half of one.

Because Cyclops, get it? Eh? Eh?

… Tough crowd.

“Whatever. As you have no doubt worked out already, my name is Shimada Ran. I like omurice, the dynamics of an asteroid and sleeping with a cute girl in my arms. I dislike manipulative old cunts who twist the bonds of vulnerable preteen girls for their own sick purposes and lunar deities hell bent on mind-whamming humanity into some sort of matrix ripoff. My dream for the future used to be a long happy life with my loved ones, but collapsing the world in a quantum singularity is gaining appeal by the minute. Your turn, just don’t expect me to quote you on it.”

Am I laying it too thick? … maaaaybe. Do I give a shit? Sorry fresh out of those.

Grass is not Leaf. Here, being the meanest cast iron bitch in the block actually earns you respect. Maybe not from your team, sure, but as long as I don’t go around getting caught in the act of actually endangering their lives mid-mission, I should be golden.

At least, I assume so from hearsay and my metaknowledge. It’s not like I’ve been paying much attention to actual team dynamics before. It never looked like a priority.

… Meh, one needs a hobby to pass the long Karin-less hours.

Oh, they’re done talking. “So, are we doing some missions or what?”

Turns out, Cyclops-sensei wanted to test our mettle in a spar first.

And with that, I mean he wanted Cyclops-chan and Whatshisface spar with each other when he tested my own taijutsu. I would love to say this was an interesting chance to check my nominal allies’ specialties, so we at least had the most basic of groundworks for our future teamwork.

Instead, we had a couple of utterly boring hours of fucking playing ninja. My fellow genin were so distrustful of each other they refused to reveal anything beyond basic taijutsu and the academy three, making their spar into a mockery. Sweet Homura, Demon of Love, they weren’t even good at pretending those were their real skills. The awkward and stilted movements making more than obvious the truth.

Those weren’t their real moves and they had to constantly rein in their ingrained muscle reflexes.

Sensei wasn’t much better. I assumed he would at least force me to fight at my peak, in taijutsu if nothing else. And indeed he pushed me further than the two stooges managed to push each other, but reaching a certain point he simply stopped upping the ante.

I guess there was some standard he wanted to make sure I was up to? But then it made no sense to drag me to a higher level than the other two. Maybe he was just being a jerk? Yeah, that sounds about right for this team.

When we finally stop, I have to hold back a sigh of frustration. Two Cyclops with good reasons to resent me, and some other random kid, neither of whom seem inclined in the least to show the rest what they can truly do. And we’re supposed to take on bandit camps by ourselves. And hopefully survive whatever misranked mission we encounter in our first year. This is a mess.

What? Of course there’ll be a misranked mission. If my past life taught me something about this one -besides encyclopedic knowledge of Konoha and it’s enemies, I mean- is that there’s always a misranked mission in the first year.

I’d blame the Boss Dude for trying to kill us, either by design or negligence, but neither makes any frickin’ sense. So… what am I missing?

Must be some social thing or another. By Madoka, I still suck at socialising.

“Okay, laze around all you want. But I got better things to do. See you at the mission office whenever you’re ready.” With a last gaze at my team, who are shamelessly using the fake training as an excuse to take a nap, I leave the place.

Maybe I can finally nail down that reentry friction formula for rare metals before our first D-rank.

“Our first mission is to exterminate bandits.” I deadpanned.

“Yes?”

“Not carrying groceries, or fixing rooftops, or painting fences, but brutally and ruthlessly murderizing fellow humans, albeit some rather poor examples of humanity” I made sure we were on the same page.

“What? Afraid of actually sealing the deal?” Cyclops-chan butted in. “You didn’t have much trouble with anything else.”

I stopped for a moment to consider the question seriously. On the one hand, it would be my first time actually taking a life, both of my lives included. It was an important step and I didn’t rightly know how to feel about it. On the other, no wasting months as glorified gophers.

“Actually, I think this’ll fit me just fine.” I shrugged in the end. “Just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Did some senior prank you about that?”

“Nah, but I assumed the prank was not telling us. Like, setting up the newbies for a disappointment sort of prank.”

“Huh, that’s exactly what they do in Konoha.” Cyclops-sensei added. “Where did you even get that idea from in the first place?”

“Grandfather is a travelling merchant, he knows a lot.” I offered, because admitting you’d got the wrong idea by watching subtitled foreign cartoons in your past life really wasn’t an option here.

As I discovered after the most basic of research, for the most part of the Elemental Nations shinobi are just killers for hire, it’s only in the Hidden Leaf that you can find them mingling with the civilian population while dealing with menial tasks while everyone else mocks them for it.

You ever wonder why the Konoha are considered the ‘good guys’ at a continental level? It’s for little PR stunts like these that apparently not even the sharpest minds of outside Konoha are able to understand. There, shinobi are part of daily life for every civilian and somewhat heroic figures to admire. Here and pretty much everyone else we are… killers for hire. Necessary, but not necessarily liked.

We leave the Academy to be thrown into low-risk escort or courier missions, and we work our way upwards from there. And Grass is big on intelligence gathering, which means low chance of missions being miss-ranked. After a month, the most interesting thing that happened to us was that first extermination mission. And I’m pretty sure Cyclops-sensei only took it to blood us in a controlled environment.

By the way, that was the only actual conversation Team Six-eyes had in the whole month. I can already taste the unbreakable bonds of trust and teamwork.

… That was sarcasm.

Planeshunter · Jul 29, 2020

026 - On addiction withdrawal and falling low (I want my cuddle bug back!)

It’s been another four months, and I’ve had time to know my team better. I have to admit, I was kind of wrong about them. They are even worse than I feared. It’s not the veiled hostility I couldn’t care less about. It’s not the constant attempts at verbally putting me down, which have petered out as they finally internalize that no, I wasn’t going to be the one getting burned. It’s not even the blatant attempts at holding me down, even if that’s annoying as all hell.

It’s their Ganon-damned laziness!!

No matter the plan for the day, we never gather before seven, and when we do, we waste a full hour in warm-up exercises. What the hell do they do at home? After that, during training days they either avoid including me (blatant attempts at holding me down) or come up with ridiculously unfavorable conditions for me, that they later squander. Because, as I’ve already mentioned, they’re Ganon-damned lazy.

During mission days things are a bit different. During those we actually work together. Or our best approximation, because they’re still refusing to show their true strength, so I have to dance around the slowpokes to get things actually done. For some reason the jerk of Cyclops-sensei doesn’t seem very happy at that, going as far as accusing me of hogging the merit of the mission. The nerve of some…

Not that it matters too much, because missions only happen once a week, at best.

Fortunately, not everything is against me. I’ve found out a legal way to skip team training. This would’ve never flown in Konoha, but I won’t complain too much since it works in my favor. It’s not like I would’ve needed to do this if I was in Konoha, anyway.

The magic solution has a name: ‘Solo missions’.

Yup! Any fresh-eyed, half-baked, lemming-brained genin can take on solo missions, provided they pass a ridiculously lenient aptitude test. They even excuse you from team training and a lot of other shit, these are the real money-makers of the village, after all. There are some limits, of course, I need to be available for team missions and all that but, as I’ve already mentioned, those only happen once in a blue moon.

Have I mentioned my team is lazy as fuck? Because they are.

I wonder what they do in the evenings? It’s when we’re supposed to develop our secret techniques in the privacy of our own homes, and frankly I don’t know what to think of them. Will they squander their evenings as they do their days? Will their ridiculous paranoia come from their super-strict secret training they don’t want to show off?

It would be cool if it was the last, but I’m not holding my breath. Because… I was wrong about my team. We aren’t Team Six-eyes, this is Team Half-ass.

“Shimada.”

I turn towards the voice. It’s Ryūzetsu, sitting on a terrace with Muku and… Whatshisface.

“Yo.” I join them, grabbing an empty chair and plopping on it. “How’s it going?”

If you'd told me three years ago that I’d be rubbing shoulders with them like this, I would’ve nodded and slowly stepped back without sudden movements. But here we are! Honestly, they aren’t that bad. And if I pay for the drinks, they listen to me rant about the unfairness of life.Sometimes they even have joint missions or training with Karin’s team, and they tell me about it.

“If you’re asking about Uzumaki, we haven’t met in a while.” She answers, crushing my hopes. “I think her team left for a long-term mission or something.”

“Ugh…!” I cross my arms on the table, sinking my head between them with a groan.“One would think in five months I would’ve found a chance to spend an evening with her at some point, right? When she’s free I’m training, when I take a day off she’s on a mission outside the village. When we try to set a date, something comes up… It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!”

“It can’t be that bad, you still sleep in the same home.”

“And she’s always out like a light when I’m done for the day! You’ve told me how hard she tries everyday, I’m not going to wake her up just get my fix!”

“You’re a damn addict, Shimada.”

“And damn proud of it.” I slam the table with my hand, minding my own strength. My reputation really doesn’t need me to have to foot the bill for even more private property. Then I slump back into my chair. “... Man I miss my cuddle bug.”

“Such is life, things should calm down a bit when we make chunin, or after a couple of years.” That’s Muku, the boy always has something reasonable-sounding to say. Even if just because he remains silent otherwise. “There’ll be much less expectations pressing on us by then.”

“But that doesn’t help me now!” I don’t whine, I’m far too dignified for that. “To heck with it, I’m getting drunk! You guys up for something a bit stronger than coloured water?”

“But Shimada-san!” Whatshisface protests. “We’re still twelve, we can’t drink yet!”

“Old enough to kill, old enough to get plastered. The bill’s still on me and I’m drinking anyway, so you guys with me or not?”

They look at each other as if drawing resolve from the team, before turning to nod at me. Formalities out of the way, I order some sake and drop a bag of ryo in the waiter’s hand to keep it coming. Solo missions bitch, I’m swimming in money!!

I look around after a while, spying blushing faces and dopey smiles. They haven’t drank half of what I’ve done, between the three of them. And yet I’m barely feeling the buzz and they’re already in their happy place, it’s not fair.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Deciding enough is enough, I move to claim my cuddles.

“Shimada!” I hear Ryūzetsu screech. “What are you doing in Muku’s lap?”

“I want m’fix of cuddles, Muku’s th’ cutestest here.”

“You harpy! Get your paws away from my b— from my friend!”

Oooooh, she’s gettin’ all jelus now!!. That’s actually kinda cute, comin’ from Ryūzetsu.

“Get bent Shimada! You’re drunk!” Oops, did I say that out loud?

“You’re drunk too, and jelus.” Because I’m not above petty namecalling right now.

She tries to retort, but only spluttering denials come out. I can’t help a fit of giggles, this is just too fun!

“Okay, youre cute enuf!!” I announce, taking advantage of her lowered guard to pounce at her and snake my arms around her waist, before pulling back into Muku’s lap. “You get cuddles too!”

The situation devolves from there, and we somehow end up sprawled on the grass beside the terrace, Muku and me making a Ryūzetsu sandwich while whatshisface looks from his seat, making a face like he’s been caught inside an undispellable genjutsu. As we try to get our breath back, the lack of redhead cuties by my side sinks in once more.

“I miss Karin.” I whimper. Ryūzetsu pats me in the back, it’s strangely reassuring.

That evening, I was in my super secret lab doing super secret things (and mixing some highly volatile acidic gases for one of my modified containment tags) when I felt Karin’s chakra getting home. I push back the urge to get out to meet her, reminding myself for the umptenth time that I wouldn’t be doing anyone any favour with that, and how angry at me Karin got the last time I neglected my training to try and spend time with her.

So far, business like usual. Well, except for the mildly sick feeling I’ve come to associate with the consequences of heavy drinking. I try to focus back on what I was doing, this is actually a delicate step and I still haven’t got the hang of it. I don’t miss how her steps are a bit heavier than usual though, seems like I’m not the only one having a difficult day.

A couple of hours later I’m finally done, putting my chemistry set back into the highly secure containment seal I keep hidden within the room, and the stuff I’m not supposed to have into the really secure containment seal that’s not hidden within the room. With a sigh, go straight to the bathroom. Turns out acidic gas is killer for the hair, who could’ve known?

The water in the tub has gotten cold, but judicious application of fire transformation solves that. Once the room is nice and steamy, I sit on the stool and grab the shampoo, groaning in pleasure as I start massaging my scalp.

I think about it less and less every year, but judging those not-quite-memories from my last life, I wasn’t a bath kind of person back then. Having grown up in a traditional japanese home this time around though, I can’t really see the appeal of a shower over the real thing. Sure, it’s expeditive, but I don’t bathe to get clean.

… I mean, not just to be clean. The relaxation it induces is at least as important as personal higiene. And trust me, after today, I really need a bit of relaxation.

So focused am I on this, I don’t notice the other presence until they open the sliding door and get into the bath with me.

“Karin?” I try to turn to face her, but she prevents it with a hand on my shoulder.

Instead of giving an explanation, she kneels behind me and starts scrubbing my back with a soapy sponge. Okay…

This is, most likely, not what it seems. Twelve years of social incompetence haven’t managed to make me think like a proper japanese person, or whatever close approximation Grass culture is, but has at least given me the awareness.

Sharing a bath is a sign of closeness and intimacy, sure, but not necessarily that sort of intimacy. She’s probably gathering her courage to tell me something hard to say. So instead of letting my lower parts do the thinking and jump her, I put my hands on my knees and let her wash me up, doing my best not to think about how my body is reacting to her attentions.

She goes all the way through it, only after rinsing me clean does she lean closer, hugging me and puting her chin on my shoulder.

“All my team died.” She manages to get out, before she breaks down crying.

… Sometimes I hate being right.

Planeshunter · Aug 1, 2020

027 - On indulgence therapy and awkward interactions (or ‘How Karin found her libido’)

We now lie in my futon, though it may very well be called ours at this point, fingers feathering through Karin’s hair while I watch her finally, finally sleep. After she cried it out in the bathroom, we went to bed, and she told me what happened, then she cried herself to sleep. It wasn’t a quick process.

She told me how her team had been a bit dismissive of her because of her medical skills, and how it often meant she got left behind with multiple excuses while the rest did ‘the real work’. Which is bullshit and I would’ve liked to have words about Dumb prejudices with them, but they’re dead, so I’ll let it slip. It might very well have been the only reason she survived, too.

The mission involved hunting down a beast that was harassing various towns around it’s lair. When the team got into the forest where the supposed beast lived, she was left behind to keep watch on the town. Only, there was no beast. What the forest hid was a squad of presumably Iwa-nin deserters who, after a short running battle, took down her team.

They managed to retreat far enough to get into the range of Karin’s [Mind’s Eye of the Kagura], which means she felt each of their lives fade away. Come to think of it, the hideout was deep enough in the forest to be outside her range, but they all managed to fall back far enough to get into it before dying? Talk about messed up, I would believe it if someone told me the whole incident was manufactured that way.

Honestly, I’m not sure whether to hate the fact she bore witness to it, or to be glad she at least has closure. Imagine they just disappeared without trace. Protocol dictates she would’ve had to return to report the situation anyway when they didn’t return, but there’s a big difference between a clean cut like this and the days, maybe weeks of incertitude, waiting for news of her team and wondering whether they were lying wounded in the forest, and she could’ve helped them if she’d just ventured into the forest after them.

She confided to me how she hadn’t liked her team very much, but she regrets the unkind thoughts now that they are dead. That guilt was bad enough as it is, but would’ve been tenfold if she didn’t know for sure they were already dead. I idly wonder whether my team would cry for me, were I to actually be killed? … It’s a surreal experience, putting them at the same level as Karin, even as an intellectual exercise, so I promptly stop.

Right, something needs to be done about all this. And I somehow doubt I’ll be allowed to take an extermination mission for… wherever it is that happened.

“I still can’t believe you took a week off on my stead.” She protests, for the tenth time, struggling to hold my pace as we travel East through the trees of the Land of Fire. I might be imposing a bit of a brisk rhythm, but that means she doesn’t have time to mope.

“You need it, you want it, you deserve it, and you were going to get back to work.” I reply, for the tenth time. Then I blink a couple of times, realizing Karin doesn’t actually take solo missions. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even know about them. “What were you expecting to work on, anyway? I doubt they’ll just assign you to another team on the fly.”

She gapes and makes a good impersonation of a fish for a while, which is kinda cute. “I don’t know? Honestly, I wasn't thinking much beyond trying to make things normal again.”

“There will be time for that later.” It’s not like normal is so grand right now… “Now you’re heading for a week of debauchery and you’re going to like it, young lady!”

“I still think you went too far.”

“And I think I’m swimming in ryo and have nothing to spend it in.” I answer with a wink. “I want a week-long luxury-spa treatment in Hot Spring’s best place and I can’t properly enjoy it without my favorite cuddle bug around, so you have no choice but to come with.”

“Maybe you should stop taking so many missions and actually do something with the money.”

“I am doing something with the money.” Spoiling her rotten is something to do with the money. “Good shinobi tools and research material aren’t that expensive, and I don’t have patience for a hobby. Mother called it the Shimada Curse.”

“It does sound like something Shimada-mama would say.”

“Stupid Shimada blood...”

It takes us some hours to finally reach our destination, but Karin doesn’t protest again. Seems like I finally found an angle she can accept. That or she’s realized the futility of her actions. Either/or, really, Karin has always been a smart girl.

“Hmm… this is life~” I mutter under the skilled hands of the masseuse. “Do you still think I went too far?”

Karin’s only answer is a mewling sound of pleasure I decide to take as a no.

It’s like my muscles are melting butter! You haven’t had a massage until you’ve received one from a chakra-capable professional.

Of course, I can’t forget all those fics about the Village Hidden in Hot Springs, there is a chance this girl is actually planning to take advantage of our relaxed state to gather either intelligence from our village or outright blackmail material, so I can’t completely relax.

Just about… you know, 90% or so. I’m keeping an eye half-lidded in case of trouble.

Also, the point is getting Karin to enjoy this, and she has nothing to hide, so she can fully relax. Whatever benefit I extract myself for this is just the cherry on top. A moan escapes my lips when a particularly big knot dissolves under the ministrations of expert fingers.

“Oh, yeah… A very sweet cherry.”

“Stop struggling!” I chastise Karin. “I’ve only had to deal with one of these once in my whole life, and it was years ago!”

“Sorry Ran-chan, It’s kind of strangling me here.”

“I think it’s supposed to work that way.” I mutter in frustration. “I swear, what sort of sadist designed this?”

“Can’t you make it loosen a bit?”

“Not without everything falling apart. Unless...” I find a point of leverage I hadn’t noticed before, and with a sharp tug, feel the whole scheme shift and fall into place. “Okay, how about now?”

“Better, but I’m having my revenge when it’s your turn.”

“I know right?” I plop back into my seat, arms tired and burning as if I’ve just completed the harshest training routine of my life, instead of just trying to properly arrange and tighten a bunch of cloth. “Who knew wearing a yukata was such a health hazard?”

“Are we sure this will be worth it?”

“The place we have reserved for dinner requires formal dress. Also… ” I make a show of examining her head to toe and back again. She’s still too young to pull off a cocktail dress, but a yukata relies on a completely different set of attributes to work. “You look so cute I could gobble you up.”

“Now you’re just buttering me up.” She mumbles, looking away with a red face. “But I’m sure you will look gorgeous, so let’s get to it already.”

In spite of being well aware of my own plain looks, I can help feeling a bit of heat on my cheeks at her words. What a charming liar Karin can be when she wants to.

“What did I just eat?” Karin asks.

“Pan-roasted pastry rolls, layered with an herbed tomato puree, a creamy blend of artisanal cheeses, and tender bites of aged salami. With Avec.” I answer slowly, reading from the menu. “It’s a typical dish from somewhere called ‘Klatch’.” If you’re wondering, yeah, that’s just another name for pizza rolls. Kinda surprised they exist at all in the Elemental Nations, much less that they’ve somehow become high cuisine.

“They’re tasty.” She concludes, grabbing a portion of what looks like a fancily dressed sandwich to me. “Let’s try this…”

“Pâté of roasted indigenous legumes, paired with a compote of seasonal berries, served on hearty sprouted wheat bread.” I obediently recite. Yup, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is surreal.

“Very good.” She declares, before turning to face me with a blinding smile. “I never thought I’d enjoy such a luxury buffet. Somehow I was expecting it all to be dumb things like tiny spheres of jelly or… dunno, flavoured foams?”

This is way too surreal.

At least Karin is smiling.

“I can’t believe you talked me into betting so much money on a roulette spin.”

“It was my money, I just wanted you to be my good luck charm.”

“It was enough money to live for months!”

“You Uzumaki have a certain reputation when it comes to luck. I just wanted to know if you had Benzaiten blessing yourself.”

“Well I apparently don’t.”

“And I’m a little bit poorer, and a little bit wiser. Fair trade I say.”

“So what’s the plan now?”

“I was thinking we could go back to the hotel, where I’ve reserved the hot springs for the two of us, and enjoy a long, relaxing and warm bath under the stars.”

“That does sound like a nice change of pace… I don’t think I like gambling too much.”

We waste a good hour in the warm water, talking about everything and nothing and watching the starry night. I’ve always found the night sky breathtaking, probably something to do with that past life I can barely remember anymore.

All good things have to end though, and I’m feeling a little light headed. It’s maybe time to get out, have some cold milk, and challenge Karin to a table-tennis match. You know, for the full onsen package. Walking out of the water, I reach for my scalp with both hands to wring my hair dry, when I notice Karin has stopped talking.

I turn towards her, a teasing word in my lips, when I notice she hasn’t moved from her seat, where she remains still as a deer in the headlights. It’s hard to say for sure under the moonlight, but seems like her cheeks have darkened and her eyes are glassy. I frown for a moment, wondering whether she has been in the hot water for too long.

… But no. Her gaze is not lost. She’s looking… No, she’s staring at me.

“Karin?” She jumps at my voice, but doesn’t really react beyond that. After a long moment, when I’m really starting to worry, two words escape her lips.

“You’re beautiful.”

The world screeches to a halt and my thought processes stutter, my stomach does a belly-flop, and my heart stops working, because Karin is looking at me with lust in her eyes and that does not compute.

Next thing I know, I’m back in our bedroom, on the other side of the complex, chakra reserves suspiciously low.

I don’t know how long I stand there, in the center of the room, dripping on the carpet without a stitch on me, trying to regain my breath.

What the hell was that?

Karin did– Karin was– I mean she– and then– Why is this affecting me so much?

With a frustrated whine, I throw myself into my bed back first, and a certain conversation I had with Mother comes to mind. It was about this very journey, and she was trying to caution me her influence wouldn’t help me this time, if the Boss Dude or someone else in the chain of command objected to my plans.

For some reason, I took that as a dig at my own abilities, and snapped at her, really harshly. She didn’t seem to take offence, as if she had half-expected it, and that was that. But I think the very fact I snapped is rather telling.

Mother taking care of me might grind on me sometimes, but I can ultimately shrug it off. She’s Mother, I’m her responsibility and she’ll keep doing so as long as I need it, no matter how much I’d love to stand by myself. But Karin…

Karin is a bit of a tender spot. I want to help her myself, with my own means.

Don’t… don’t get me wrong here, I’ll get over my pride and ask for help if I really am over my head, I’ve done so before. But I’ll never do it just to make things easier for me. And yes, I know that’s my pride talking, but I can’t bring myself to contemplate any other way.

What exactly does that mean for Karin and me though? Sure, she’s a cutie and I enjoy cuddling with her very much, I might’ve even… let my imagination wander at some point or another. But I’ve never stopped to take a good look at my feelings. I had avoided taking it seriously because… well, canon and Sasuke.

I mean, up till today, I had this idea Karin would find a boy she liked -not Sasuke, if I had anything to say about it-, sooner or later, and I’d have no choice but to give him my blessings -after thoroughly vetting him, of course, only the best for Karin- I didn’t even know she saw me as someone to lust after.

Heck, I’m pretty sure she didn’t know either, before today. Have I affected her sexuality? Is that even a thing that can happen? If so, how much? Is there a way to tell? Will I burn in hell? Does it even matter?

… Do I want to do this? Sure, I joke a lot about it, but that was easy when I didn’t think I had a real chance. Also, there’s a difference between occasionally raising the lust of a hormonal adolescent and actually being capable of properly romancing her, which is something I now have to worry about.

That’s without considering Grass stance in… well… the last heir of an old clan and the holder of powerful and coveted bloodlines being in a relationship that cannot conceive children. That’s like a double nope for them, quadruple nope, since Karin counts for three, and somehow I doubt telling them to mind their own business will work. Which means…

Ugh… It means I need a drink.

Correction, I need a body that can actually get plastered.

Stupid Shimada blood.

Ugh, I hate summer. There's heat, and then I can't sleep, and then I can't think, and then I can't write for shit. If you guys have noticed I'm not interacting vey much as of late, it's because I'm having trouble focusing on anything. Stupid Sleep deprivation...

Planeshunter · Mar 2, 2021

028 - On heart to hearts and team rearrangements (I'm so dead is not even funny)

Karin didn’t come back to our room until late in the night. I tried to talk myself into going out and find her a couple of times, but I was too busy behaving like a damn blushing maiden to think rationally -The fact I am technically one is sooooooo not the point- so I didn’t.

When she finally arrived, she went straight to her own bed without a word. A bed that’s now being used for the first time since we arrived here. Because it’s hers and not mine. As in, somewhere she’s sleeping where I am not sleeping.

We’ve slept alone before, that with missions and training camps being a thing, but it’s the first time we’ve done so while being in the same place since… Well, since Uzumama passed away. It’s easy to imagine how things will never be the same after tonight, how our relationship will become awkward and we’ll slowly become estranged.

Ugh, it’s like a damn soap opera. If things keep going like this, there’ll be some miserable times in both our futures.

… No, not ‘If things keep going on like this’. The right sentence is ‘If I let things keep going like this’. Breathe deep, Ran, put your thoughts in order. Exhale, Inhale, ruthlessly crush those crippling insecurities that have no business nesting in your heart, exhale again.

Feel ready?

No, not by a long shot, but such is life.

“Karin?”

“Hm?” Okay… she’s talking to me. More or less. That’s… that’s a start, that’s good.

“You know you’re my most favorite person in the world, right?” That has her turning around in her bed to look my way.

“Even more than Shimada-mama?”

“Mother is very dear to me, but you’re still my favorite.” I answer without thinking, then I hurry to amend my words. “… Don’t tell her I said that, okay?”

“Ahap.”

“I… have a good idea what you were thinking, back in the onsen.” Please don’t clamp down, please don’t clamp down…

“N?” I’ll take it.

“And don’t get me wrong, what you said were the most flattering words I’ve heard in my life…”

“… But?”

I frown. Is it me or has Karin taken control of the conversation somehow? With just grunts and monosyllables? “But, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I don’t think I’m ready yet. For… you know, the fun stuff.”

A loud sigh comes from her bed, and I feel my mouth dry up. “Ran?” My name never sounded so foreboding before.

Swallowing with difficulty, I try to keep my voice as neutral as possible, muscles tensing as I get ready to throw myself to the floor and beg forgiveness on my knees if I have to. “Yes Karin?”

“For someone so smart, you can be an idiot sometimes.” That… that wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.

“I’m… sorry?”

“That wasn’t a confession or anything, you silly.” She explains with a giggle, the tension in the room breaking like cheap glass. “It was just a slip of the tongue. I don’t think I’m ready for the... 'fun stuff' either.”

“So I was worrying for nothing?”

“Well, not for nothing. You were so beautiful, with your wet skin glistening under the moonlight…” Is it me, or has it suddenly become hot in here? “If you hadn't fled I might’ve gobbled you up!”

“That was uncalled for.” I turn away from her, not sure how to react to her words. I’m the one supposed to fluster Karin, not the other way around!

“Not from where I’m standing~”

“Whatever.” Too relieved this ended up being nothing to feel indignant at her haughty tone, I do the next best thing and press on the issue. “So, what happens now? I’ll miss the cuddles, but I’ll understand if you want to sleep in separate futons from now on.

“Nothing.” I hear a rustle of clothes, but I’m staring at the wall, so I can’t see what’s going on.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing.” Her voice comes now from right beside my bed. “I’d miss the cuddles too.”

Later that night, I remain awake, staring at the ceiling while enjoying Karin’s warmth and trying to figure out what has just happened. Never thought I’d pull the ‘I’m not ready’ card of all things. It solves nothing, and only puts more pressure on poor Future Ran, but here we are. Oh well, if things go as planned we’ll have all the time in the world to figure things out. And if things don’t, I’m pretty sure it just won’t matter.

Plus, Future Ran has my utmost confidence. She’s such a hard-working and responsible girl…

To be honest, I wasn’t all that confident we’d be able to return to normal the following morning. Doing our damned best to put the awkwardness behind? Sure. Actually managing? That was something entirely different. Fortunately our week of leave was over, and we had to go back to Grass. With a bit of luck, a return to the hectic routine that were our lives would let us put the worst of the incident behind us.

That was the plan, anyway.

“Oh, here you are.” As soon as we returned to the village, we were summoned to Boss Dude’s office. “We can finally get this out of the way.”

He throws an exasperated look my way that I’m sure it’s supposed to convey something, but I got nothing. It’s not like I formatted the paperwork for our little vacation time in such a way it looked like one of the many confirmation forms for shipping supplies he signs everyday and left it mixed with a stack of those.

Oh, wait, that’s exactly what I did. My bad.

“As all the other aspirants already know, the next Chunin exams will be held in Konoha in three months time.” Oh, yeah, it’s about that time, isn’t it? I’ve been a bit wrapped up in recent events, but I’ve still been aware it was coming. “I don’t think any one team from your promotion is ready to take them just yet, but we have a couple of older teams with gaps that need filling. That’ll be your job.”

“Uh… what about Team Ryūzetsu?” Which admittedly has a different name I can’t be arsed to remember. “They’re about our level too.”

“Well, for one they are part of an actually functional team, there’s no reason to move them around.” … Fair enough. “For another, I don’t need more than two people.”

The rest I tune out because I’m busy adjusting my plans. There’s a lot of shit going on during the Chunin Exams, including half of Konoha ending up looking like a warzone and two S-Rank ninja entangled in a duel to the death where nobody leaves unscathed. I didn’t know what my role would be in all that, or whether I had a role to play at all, so my plans had to be kept vague so far by necessity.

Now that I know I’ll be a participant, I can actually start working on the details.

… Which means I should pay attention to this, right? Right. Getting intel now, scheming later. The Boss Dude must’ve made some kind of sign, because three guys enter the office right as I start paying attention again. They seem kind of familiar.

“This is Team Shigeri, and they’ve specifically requested a healer.” Seeing where this is going, Karin tries to protest, but Boss Dude cuts her as soon as she opens her mouth. “I know what you’re about to say, I also don’t care. This team is above your skill level, and they need a healer. You can fill the role so you will fill it to the best of your capabilities. Are we clear?”

Usually those words would’ve tested my self-control. It’s not just abusing Karin’s pet peeve, but also hits too close to the circumstances that led to her first team’s demise. Even coming from the Boss Dude, that demands some form or retaliatory strike. Depending on my mood, that might've meant ‘accidentally’ breaking something, or just letting slip some passive-aggressive comment. But today it barely registers, because I’m busy staring holes at Karin's future team.

Team Shigeri. Yes, that Team Shigeri. Fucking Team We-Run-From-Bears. I’m going to have to arrange a little chat with them later. Maybe some veiled threats, or maybe just hang them by their balls for a couple of hours. You know, so they take it seriously.

“And you, Shimada.” Ooops, looks like my mind wandered again. He takes a long breath while Team Deadman Walking leaves, then focuses on me. “Nobody actually wants you on their team. But I want you promoted and away from my actual genin ASAP, and there’s a team who wants to try but isn’t really up to snuff. They could use a ninjutsu specialist and I know you’re a pretty versatile elementalist.”

Of course you know, thanks for confirming I’m under surveillance, always good to know it’s not just paranoia. Also, I don’t remember shit about a team needing a ninjutsu specialist. Have I butterflied another team into the Exam? Another signal from Boss Dude summons the next group. And I… kinda freeze.

The leader of this group has a face I remember very clearly. A face Orochimaru will wear like a glove during the exam, and I can’t see anything I do changing that. This is a worst case situation. One I don’t actually have a plan for, except maybe disappearing the team before the events are even set in motion..

“Just remember, they don’t need you. I hear a whisper that you’re acting up and you’re out of the exam and I’ll personally make you regret ever being born.” Well, there goes plan B. It wasn’t viable anyway, too high a risk Orochimaru would target Karin’s team instead. “And keep your fucking trump card as a trump card. That means, use your damn explosives as the damn last resort they’re supposed to be!!”

Taking that as the dismissal it is, I leave with all the dignity I can muster. I’ll have time to break down and cry once I’m back home.

You thought it would be a long and convoluted problem, but it was solved easily. One thing is being unaware of things (she’s far too good at being unaware), or procrastinating (what she’s actually done here, too), but a blatant problem that screams at her face? Yeah, she’s going to bite the bullet and nip at the bud before it can fester.

Planeshunter · Mar 30, 2021

Been a while, right? Real life decided to throw me a curveball, right as my backlog of snippets ran out so… yeah. My update speed will probably suffer because of this and can’t really say when it’ll be back to normal. Hopefully it won’t connect with my job’s high season, but can’t make promises, if that’s the case I can pretty much bid goodbye to my free time until Christmas. Fingers crossed.

On another note, I’ll be forever grateful if you mention it when you see any inconsistency in the plot so I can correct it before it becomes too entrenched in the story. I’d like to think I have a good memory, but not good enough to never forget a detail. And I kind of suck at making notes.

029 - On stealthy stealth schooling and stupid simple solutions (I’ll be forever grateful, Mother)

A good thing about all this ‘getting ready for the exams’ thing is that our teams train together, so no more Karin withdrawal. I never thought ‘We only pay lip service to the idea of teams’ Kusa would train their squads to work together during the exams, but it actually makes sense if you think about it. No matter how much of a mockery we make out of the Konoha’s Team and Academy systems, what we’re really all about is pissing on the spirit of the rules, after all.

The first day they asked me to show off my skills, and it was honestly a bit embarrassing to admit I still can’t use even two jutsu of each element, but they didn’t make a big deal out of it so it’s fine. They were kind enough to switch topics even, I got to set the rhythm for that first day’s training routine, so they would ‘know what level I stand at’. But there’s been no repeat so far, which is a bit disappointing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re training… at a satisfactory intensity. Miles better than team Six-eyes. Even if these people don’t dig simple courtesy like warming up at home before coming here, at least they’re not lazy bastards. They also don’t seem as hostile towards me. Even if my new team leader feels the need to insist everyday on not killing everyone during the exams. What kind of psychos does he usually have to deal with?

“I don’t get it, really.” I complain to Karin as we walk back home. Because we can walk home together again. Because we train together. Isn’t life great? “I mean, even if we wanted to kill everyone. It’s kind of unfeasible.”

As if we’re going to manage killing fucking Gaara. Or Kabuto. Heck, even Naruto will probably shounen-powerup at the last second to hand my ass to me in all his jinchuuriki glory if it comes to that. Karin just nods, she seems kind of distracted.

“Hey, are you alright?” It’s subtle, but Karin seems to be getting more frustrated by the day. And I don’t know if she’s still mourning her old team or if it's something about the new. “They’re not giving you a hard time, aren’t they?”

“Uh?” Wow, she really was out of it. “No, it’s not that, I’m fine.”

“You sure? I can and will hang them by their genitals again, you know? Just say the word.”

“Ran…” She starts slowly, eyeing me with suspicion. “What do you mean ‘again’?”

I look away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. It was just a slip of the tongue.”

Karin’s eyes continue to study me, full of suspicion, for a whole minute, but in the end lets it go with an amused huff. “Whatever you say Ran, it’s just… Remember that conversation we had in your grandpa’s caravan? About medic training being dyssergic for me?”

“How could I forget? Only you have ever used that word.”

It’s Karin’s turn to blush, but she still presses on. “You were right back then, you know? Healing is a path that doesn’t even make sense for me to take. Just something I can do on the side. But everywhere I go, they try to shoehorn me into the role.” Heh, ‘shoehorn’, another word only she uses. “This team is no different, going on and on about tactics and formations designed to work around a med-nin, and that means I have no time to train my real specialty.”

“Oh, yeah, did you finally decide on one?” Between the enforced separation and that week in Hot Spring thinking about anything but shinobi business, there hasn’t been that many chances to talk about it. “Will you become a taijutsu mistress to punch bears in the face?”

“Again with the bear obsession.” She protests amusedly before suddenly growing bashful and answering your question with a whisper. “No, I decided to follow your advice and focus on covert ops.” Awwww that’s adorable.

“Yeah, I see how that might be a problem.” I agree. “You can always devote most of your efforts to the overlapping skills. It’s not really a solution but at least you won’t miss out that much.”

“... What does medic and stealth training even have in common in the first place?”

“Avoidance.” I seem to remember from Tsunade training Sakura that she follows Piccolo’s school of DODGE. “Medics are often targeted first, since they’re a force multiplier and potentially squishy. So it’s important to refine the art of not being there to take the hits.”

“That makes sense.” She answers thoughtfully, but not very enthusiastically. “Hopefully I can talk them into helping me practice my [Replacement], and maybe my [Mind’s Eye of the Kagura]. Not holding my breath on that last one though, they already think it’s bullshit as it is.”

“Karin, dear, your [detect chakra and emotions just because no jutsu] is bullshit. But I love you all the same” I pat her head comfortingly. “And that’s not all you can talk them into letting you practice. [Transparent Escape] to avoid detection, [Body Flicker] to reach wounded teammates faster… All useful skills for your real aims, and easy to pass off as utility medical skills. And that's just what comes to mind at the drop of a hat, I'm sure you can squeeze even more once you have time to think about it.”

“Yes, yes! That should work!” Okay, that's the sort of smile I like to see on Karin's face. Mission accomplished. “How do you always come up with these ideas, anyway?”

“Anything can become anything if you learn the right way to sell it to others.” I cross my arms and nod sagely. “Once you learn how to bullshit, dear Karin, sky’s the limit.”

I earned a playful shove for my performance. “That’s something, at least.” She continues after a while of silent walking. “I would kill for some time for myself though, when I’m not feeling tired enough to just… keel over and die.”

“How about making some time in the evenings? I know my own training routine is a bit insane, but I’m sure you can squeeze some practice while I’m down at my lab.” Let it be known, I wasn’t the one to christen the place ‘my lab’. It just kinda happened.

“Can’t do. We have more team training in the evenings.” Okay, that caught me by surprise.

“Wait what?” What do you mean more training in the evenings? Why didn’t I hear about that before?

“We can’t all break our team by tricking them into following our training routine for a day, Ran.” She answers with an amused expression I personally think is completely out of place. “After you cloister yourself in your totally not a meth lab, I still have more training with the team.”

“They’re training without me?” For a moment, a surge of indignation comes from somewhere deep inside. Then my brain points out the cold hard facts of the situation and I immediately calm back down. “Actually, wait, that works in my favor. I don’t want to abandon my special training for months at a time just because.”

“Huh, I always thought you scared them off on purpose.”

What’s she talking about? “What are you talking about?”

Instead of answering she just shakes her head. “Only you, Ran.”

Occasions when Mother is both at home for dinner and we have enough prior notice to act on that knowledge have been rare since she deemed me capable of fending by myself, but especially since we became full-fledged genin.

On one such chances we threw a small party. Half just because it's nice to spend time at home with Mother and Karin, half to keep my mind off the unrelenting death by Orochimaru coming at me. It even worked, till I remember why I was so focused on making everything perfect. Then things kinda soured up.

Since I’m no party pooper, I opted to vacate the room with some generic excuse to sit on the garden’s porch and try to solve this problem before it comes to bite me in the ass with a legendary poisonous sword.

Truth is, attending the exams with this team is non-negotiable. I’ll sooner desert and become a missing-nin. Almost-certain death is preferable to a certain one and there’s simply nothing I can do to save them -and me, if I stay with them- from being Orochimaru’d on their way there.

Which is kind of inconvenient, because they’re a way better team than my regular one, but such is life. Shinobi life, I mean, which is pretty much an eternally barely delayed state of death, now that I think about it.

… Not the point. What can I do to boycott avoid this? Simply refusing to participate in the exam with some excuse or another might work. In another village. For someone without my reputation. Maybe.

Faking injury? Outright breaking my own leg mere days before the exam? Might work. In another village. For someone without my reputation. Maybe. Also, that would keep me in the village while Karin goes to Konoha. A Konoha about to get invaded, by the guy who’s going to kill me.

I’m starting to hate Kusa. And my boss. And my life.

… The last one won’t be a problem for much longer if things keep going like this.

Could I kill all my team and maybe someone from Karin’s team too so we get sent like that? The killing part was a bit far-fetched, and I wouldn’t walk scot free afterwards anyway. Also, if I did Orochimaru would probably kill us anyway to take our places, so back to square one.

Yeah, not my best idea, I just so happen to be a bit short on the good ones.

“What has you brooding like this?” Mother’s voice, suddenly beside me, pulls me from my thoughts.

“I don’t broo—” I start on reflex, but then shut up, because okay, maybe I’m brooding a bit.

“I guess you’re at that age…” Mother sighs and sits with me, putting a cup of hot tea on my hands. “A bit is fine, but don’t make a habit out of it or you’ll end up with oddly-shaped eyes and spouting bullshit about fate and hatred.”

I can only stare dumbly. Did Mother just make a joke?

“Is there something haunting you?”

I keep quiet, unsure of what to do. Should I bother her with my problems again?

She just remains there, not even looking at me. Hands on her own cup and eyes on the skyline.

“Yes.” I finally relent. “But I doubt you can help me with this one, unless you know a way for me to avoid the Exams but still be there to watch.”

She arches a brow, and I explain my problem the best I can, that is to say, very poorly. She catches the important parts anyway. Mother is cool like that. “Can I assume there’s an important reason to set those conditions?” Is her only question.

“I’d say it is of vital importance.” Heh, literally so.

“Get a field promotion before then and get there as a spectator.”

“Can I—?” I can’t believe it’s so easy. Is it really so easy? “I mean, is that a thing that can be done?”

“Getting a field promotion is tricky business during peace times, but there are loopholes.” Of course there are loopholes, this is the shinobi world. Damn, can’t believe it’s so simple, I have been going the wrong way about it from the start! “It can be arranged.”

I could’ve kissed her. But she probably would’ve kicked my ass for it. So I smothered her in the most intense hug I’ve ever initiated. She kicked my ass for it anyway, but did so with a smile on her lips. Maybe our family was a bit dysfunctional, but we made do.

“You’ll have to clear it with the higher ups yourself, though.” Well… crud.

Planeshunter · Mar 13, 2021

Shorter than usual, and I’m not really happy with how it flows but… *shrugs helplessly* That's how things worked out this time. This ‘not having time’ business is killing me

030 - On gaming the system and sweet, sweet revenge.

“I have what it takes. you know this, I know this. Now I want to step up and flaunt it.” I claim, hitting the Boss Dude’s desk with my palm for emphasis. “Why are you even questioning it? I thought you'd jump at the chance.”

After Mother so kindly kicked my ass for daring to show physical affection to her, I decided time was the essence and rushed to the Boss Dude’s Office. Hoping to find him still there and willing to receive me. He was, he even had a desk suspiciously clean of paperwork. I think he was slacking off.

Now, I could’ve gone about convincing the Boss Dude with real arguments, like how Konoha has always been big on teamplay, and just shoving me into an already existing team dynamic with barely a couple of months to figure out my place wasn’t going to cut it, but I didn’t.

I am not deaf, you know? I hear what people say about me when they think I’m not paying attention. Nobody expects me to be reasonable, so trying to be so will only arouse suspicion. That and, unfortunately, reasonable arguments can be countered with reason. Loathe as I am to admit it, Boss Dude is way better at that than me.

“I question it because you’re already slated for a team for the next exams, field promotions are a rare exception during peacetime and they involve much paperwork.” He grumbles. “That, and you came to pester me with a complicated matter when I was just about to clock out after a long and frustrating day.”

I guess that would explain why his desk was clean. Oops?

“So” He continues, cradling his chin with crossed hands in a fairly decent Gendo Ikari impersonation. “Why should I go through the bother? Are you that afraid of some healthy competition you have to resort to this?”

"Karin will be there" Yes, I am very much afraid. That exam will be full of monsters. But it doesn't matter because Orochimaru will kill me and take my face before I can even try. But of course I can't say anything along those lines. "If we have to fight I’m forfeiting"

Boss Dude reclines forward, suddenly looking kind of constipated. “Are you blackmailing me?”

“Just stating a fact, Boss.” I correct him. “I’m not fighting Karin, and that’s final. That’s why I wanted a field promotion in the first place.”

“Haaa…. Very well, I'll arrange it.” That leaves me blinking dumbly because… what the hell?

“Just like that?” I blurt out in confusion. “You aren't going to hand around threats? To force more concessions or promises out of me?”

“It’s not ‘just like that’.” He replies with exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Those are good loyal shinobi in that team you’re abandoning, and they really could’ve used you as a booster. Now I’ll have to send them with a subpar third member who isn’t even close to being ready.”

Welp, now I feel a bit guilty. Team Deader Meat was kinda nice to me. If they weren’t so dead I might even rethink my position.

“But your mother and I have a deal.” Boss continues after a dramatic pause. “She doesn’t interfere in village business and I don’t interfere in your growth. As much as I would’ve preferred it if you took the test with your team, this option has always been open to you.”

Wait, so Mother had already cleared it up beforehand? And before I even enrolled in the Academy, apparently. Looks like there never was a need for me to argue my point here in the first place.

Does this count as owing even more to Mother? On the one hand, that’s a big solid she’s done to me. In the other, it cost her literally nothing. Anyone who knows her knows she doesn’t care about ‘village business’ in the first place. Heck she probably uses that excuse to get out of things she doesn’t want to do, everything is ‘village business’ if you squint and look at it sideways.

This whole ‘you have to clear it up with the higher ups’ thing seems to have ended up being just a prank. Which means I’ve just been pranked by Mother.

So, feeling slightly confused about the whole thing, I leave Boss Dude’s office. He’s been almost… nice about the whole thing. And I’m pretty sure he was even half-honest with it. Which actually makes me kind of paranoid, he’s never this nice to me.

Or… it might never matter. There’s no point in agonizing over maybes, I’ll just shelve it for now.

The following morning, I’m summoned again to the Boss Dude’s office to be briefed on my new mission. When I leave an hour later I can only wonder at the expediency of the whole process. Mother must scare him more than he lets on. Which is fair, because Mother.

Field promotions can be justified by an outstanding performance during a mission. That is, going far beyond the expected duty of your rank and blatantly into the field of a higher one. Even then, they’re granted sparingly, because if the system is abused too blatantly the point of the Chunin exams would disappear and we’d go back to war times faster than you can say kunai.

Makes me wonder why Naruto never got a field promotion with all the weird shit he pulled through. On the other hand, it also makes me wonder how the hell did Konoha justify promoting Neji straight to jounin. I guess there’s more to consider than what’s immediately obvious.

In any case, there are some missing-nin that have set shop in Kusa’s territory and need to be taken care of. Only things aren’t that easy -they never are- since the territory is officially under Kumo’s protection and the only reason we can poach missions from there is cuz they can’t be arsed to care about a remote area like that.

Also, our intelligence suggests those missing-nin might not actually be missing-nin, but loyal Iwa-nin sent to cause trouble. We can’t really afford to antagonize Iwa, much less over territory that isn’t technically ours, so I’ll be accompanying two jounin for a false-flag extermination mission.

Only they’ll be ‘undisposed’ and I’ll have to ‘adapt to the unexpected situation’ and deal with the mission by myself.

In other words, I’ll have to take down an undisclosed number of Iwa-nin that may or may not have defected their village in such a way all fingers point at Kumo. While two jounin watch from the shadows, evaluating my performance and presumably writing down every little mistake I make.

And yet, I leave the Boss Dude’s office with a smile that threatens to split my face in half.

Why am I not annoyed, you ask? That’s simple.

Those Iwa-nin I’ll be paying a visit to are the ones who killed Karin’s team.

This is going to be… cathartic.

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