Snatched From the Florpus

[BoofusRufus]

Far within the deepest reaches of space, A strange Armada of ships float within the endless expanse. Clusters of fluttering, sputtering and clicking ships swarm around a ship of a much larger design. Strangely, upon the face of the mother ship was a painting, an alien face with colorless eyes and strange antenna painted upon it.

With a panning of view we zoom into what appears to be the ships bridge room. Multitudes of little green men sitting in chairs, typing at their tiny computers like workers on a long night at the office. "MY TALLEEEST!!! The experiments are almost ready for extraction! Would you like to visit the birthing chamber?" One called out, not even any different in appearance to its kin.

"Hmmm, nah were fine here" comes a voice from within the room. Panning our view, we see 2 tall figures sitting on metal thrones, munching on chips and donuts. "Mmmm, these are surprisingly good! Never thought that the cheap snack depot in quadrant nine would make such decent snacks!" One mumbled, his purple void like eyes widening in shock. "I actually agree, these donuts are better than the ones we get at foodcourtia, which is surprising since they make the best food in the galaxy"

*crunch* *crunch* *SLURP* with vigor they kept eating, getting louder and messed the longer they went on, entirely forgetting the message that they heard moments earlier.

Deep within the confines of the mothership, A tiny secluded room was soon to find itself with new occupants. Fifteen circular plates line the walls yet one five glow with green light. *beep *bop* *boop*, *HISSSS* with a dramatic gust of frigid air the five plates glide outwards to reveal closed glass chambers, each one holding a tiny figure floating inside it. From the ceiling a massive robotic claw tanks each one from their hole and smashes them onto the floor, *CRASH* each of the figures then stand up and look around dazed and confused.

The first one, oddly feminine and tiny compared to the rest, with pink eye plates, Bubblegum pink skin and antenna twisted like rabbit ear looks around with blatant and sheer confusion. "Mip?" She says with all the confusion in the world.

Next to her, a podmate of hers stands with a look of irritation, three times her size with a head inflated like a balloon, red eye plates twitching and antenna shaped like anger tick marks. "WHAT!?" He yells, causing the robotic ceiling arm to wack him in the head.

"PFFFT, HAHAHA!!!" Another laughs at its companions mishap. Only slightly taller then the feminine figure, yet scrawny with nubby antennas.

The last of the group of five look look the exact same as each other, absolutely massive bodies with misshapen heads like winter goards, not even giving the others attention. White eye plates and antenna shaped like question marks, just standing and staring blankly at nothing at all.

Despite speaking with a quirk of the tongue, the tiny figure seems to be the only one with a modicum of brains between its eyes. "Meep? Mip, murple!" With some thought the little figure began to pay attention to its surrounding, noting everything else in the room, then looking down at itself. "MEEEP!" It cried, shocked at its appearance and struggling to stay calm.

Seeing the tiny one start to freak out, the robotic arm gives it a WHACK! Knocking the tiny one out instantly. One by one it tanks each up by its head and carts them to one side of the room. Placing them on a steel table, the arm swivels around to a hole in the wall and tanks out five different objects. Strange object that look like mangled backpacks are fitted onto the backs of each, where they then fuse with the creatures by inserting strange hooks and barbs into the figures bodies, clinging onto their bones.

"GRAAAAH!!!" they wail, feeling excruciating pain. Each one is then hoisted up and tossed down a hole in the floor, where it goes, nobody cares.

 

[BoofusRufus]

Speeding through the dark tunnel at the speed of a fly in a vacuum tube, our tiny little pink creature has been attempting to wrap its tiny head around its new situation.

'Oh my god I cannot believe this is happening!' It thinks, still bewildered at its birth. 'I would have never drank that six pack of nitro monster if I had known I would be reborn as a hippie magnet!'

After several minutes travel the group of tiny aliens finally reach the end of the tunnel and get shot out of it like a bottle rocket. *Thwump, thwump, THWUMP* All together they get thrown into a pile of bodies. "UUURRGH!" One of the screams, realizing that they had landed in a pile of half rotten corpses, possibly from its siblings not surviving the tube.

"MEEP!" *HOLY SHIT!* Tiny screams, freaking out at the thousands of bodies tossed together in a heap of crushed skulls and twisted limbs. With the whole group terrified, none of them noticed a group of green skinned aliens as they marched in. "There they are, grab them so that we can get to the announcement hall. Having just been tossed through a tube at high speeds and still reeling from the pain of having the packs fused to their bones, the newborns had no chance to escape from the bigger and stronger aliens.

With hastened steps the bigger aliens make their way through room after room of the ship. From one room that looked like a place for probing and another that was full of nothing but what looked like sentient balls of fur with fangs, " OH GOD PLEASE NOOOOO! AAAAAGH!!!" What sounds like someone getting torn to shreds can be heard as they pass. One of the soldiers stops and runs back into the room and the only v thing that can be heard as they get further away is yelling and clanging. "GET THAT FUCKING FUZZLE BACK IN ITS CAGE!!! We can't afford to lose a gift from the Vykers!"

After half an hour of wandering rooms and corridors the group finally gets where they were heading the whole time. With ease of motion, they enter the chamber clearly arriving at the Bridge. Blips and Beeps and Boops were a constant as they approached the center seats, where two tall green skinned aliens sat, murmuring to each other as they look at a screen nearby.

"How is it that we only got seven kids out of the experiment? The stuff we used to make them were really expensive! Where are the rest!?" The red eyed one asks, clearly confused about the results. "Well, we did cheap out on the mental stimulants, we only had enough for like half of them and even then most of it was expired, I am pretty sure most of them died from doing something dumb" the purple eyed one explains.

"Ah, yeah your right. I distinctly remember seeing one of them die from swallowing an XXL hot dog. Seriously, did he not realize that the thing was bigger than he was? Sheesh that guy was stupid". After some time the tall beings finally turn around to see the group and the kids. " There you are! We were wondering when you would get here. You are all clearly the best out of all the children to have come out of the spawning room in ages. However we have one teeny tiny little problem... We are short on everything except snacks, that includes special equipment for you little shits, so here is what were gonna do. All of you are gonna fight each other to the death! The last two to survive will get the goods! The rest will be tossed to the corpse pile. Here, pick your weapons!

With a woosh several racks of weapons raise from the floor. Everything from medieval maces and swords to advanced laser guns lay on the racks. One grabs a shotgun while another grabs a strange pair of boxing gloves with many shards of metal sticking out. With everyone else equipped, tiny finds what looks like a kids toy ray gun if it was made out of polished silver. What would have been the size of a flip lighter for a human was instead big enough to fit the whole hand of tiny.

With a yell of "BEGIN!" All of the kids go after each other, only for Tony to shoot its mini Laz. *pew* with a quiet little poot of a sound, the gun fires a laser no bigger than a pin prick. As it his one of the others, it instantly evaporates, *POOF!" Leaving not even a pile of ashes behind. "MEE MEEP! WEEE!" 'Holy shit this is EPIC time to FUCK SHIT UP!!!' Taking up it death ray, tiny shoots nearly every other one of its siblings 'freaking out can wait! Gotta finish them off' pressing the trigger a few more times, all but one other of its siblings are left. The angry one with the anger mark antennas is the only other one left, walking over and looking at tiny in gratitude.

"Well that was... Lucky, I guess? I was not expecting you to get that one of all things. Oh well, at least we can move on with it! We have been expending many resources on you and your siblings. This has been for the sole purpose of having a better way to reach the different worlds out there with abundant resources. There are MANY places the Groin empire has yet to conquer. This is why we intend to send you on a journey. Nearly all of our current funds were used to make your batch, only you two came out of it though!"

"We are now going to give you the best stuff we have left and YOU are going to go out on your own to find new worlds to take over. So if you would, go with billy over there by the blue door, he will get you up to speed. NOW GIT!"

With reluctant steps the pair walk towards one side of the room where a generic urkin waits by a blue sliding door. "Come on you little shits, I want to get this over with so that I can watch battle tag with the bros!" Soon they reached a room full of scanners, tables, workout equipment and futuristic medical tech where they were then tested to the fullest extent possible. Running, jumping, blood tests, genetic tests, even eyesight and hearing tests.

"As far as we ever figured out, every one of your batch mates had something that made them different from the common Urkin. Different skin colors, different head shapes, unique antenna shapes. They even had something that made them far more valuable. Each one had abilities unique to them, from sonar vision to minor telekinesis. Though the ones that didn't die from getting shot out of the chute died either from health problems or sheer stupidity"

"But enough of that. Before anything else, you both need names. After your tests finished, we found some info on you two that will hopefully help you figure out your names. You only get ONE chance at a name. If you pick something dumb then you are STUCK WITH IT!" Red, you are going first. It appears the reason your head is so damn big is because you got a strange backlog of Urkin genetic memories. Though this mostly is memories on building things. Guess your gonna be some kind of craftsman, or builder. Pick a name.

With little fanfair, red looks through a nearby terminal for a decent name, only to find one he likes very well. "Clem! CLEM IS CLEM!!!" He then starts to run around in glee! Happy to have something to be known by.

"Now for you itty bitty. We found that your size and appearance is a result of a strange mix up in the resources we used in your batch. Not only did you get some of the strangest mix of modified Urkin DNA, you also got Thumper genes, which are basically tiny bunny people with extremely powerful leg strength, AND you got a heaping dose of Estrogen Slime DNA. Essentially, Estrogen slimes were a modified species of ooze use to disable hostile forces by a race of androgynous beings we discovered some years back. We traded some weapons for a large amount of that slime and I guess you ended up with a bit of it in your tank?"

"Well, as a result you are now a new unique breed of Urkin that is even more unique than your other batch mates. You are biologically BOTH genders. Despite having equal amounts of Estrogen and Testosterone, the slime ended messing with your genes at the end. You could say this is a good thing, since it allows you to make new Urkins yourself, which our species lost the ability to do naturally millennia ago"

"Good for you! Now with that out of the way, PICK YOUR FUCKING NAME! Man that took forever..."

With that chunk of information tucked away, hopefully to never see the light of day, tiny begins to search for its name, as its been anxious the whole time as to acquiring one. 'While I don't remember my past life name, or the names and faces of those I new, I do remember many different things from my 25 year stint in my moms basement. Moomoo? Nah that really fucking weird... Pringles? Nah makes me sound like a clown, though I am not far off on that regard. AH! I know!' With a few clicks of the terminal, tiny makes its name. "Ah, so your done? Lets see... Pocky? Not terrible. Kind of a pet name but at least it suits you. We have had some picky sticks get sent here from earth at some point. After all " HE" Is stationed there"

With a final shudder Billy ushers them from the room, taking them to a set of odd pods out in the hallway. "Get into your suits, we are heading straight to the quarter master for your ships!" With moments notice, the naked Urkins get fit into suits just the right size for them. "If you want something personalized GRT it yourselves later! We are running behind!" Rushing them further into the ship, they reach a massive hanger full of ships. "QUARTER MASTER! Get us two of your best whizzing nippers ready to go! And make sure to throw a helper bot in as you do!" With that a strangely massive union in the distance gives them a thumbs up and shambles his way into a nearby hanger bay, yanking a tablet from a wall and calling a pair of spaceships from somewhere else.

Two sleek ships fly close by, shaped far different from the usual Urkin space ship. Shaped like a pair of wasps and built almost like fighter jets, they clearly care made for speed rather than firepower. "These are specially built to get you where you need to be as fast as possible, with special tech they are bigger on the inside and can easily shift into hyperspace in micro seconds. You have EVERYTHING you need in your ships, now get the FUCK OFF MY MOTHER SHIP!" With a scream that said pain if they refused, he chucked them at their respective ships, leaving them only moments before they automatically lifted up into the air and blasted out into the darkness of space.

'That was so damn stressful' Pocky sweatdropped. With so little time to adjust he\she\it had no time to think about the situation it had landed in. 'Guess this is my life now, at least they basically gave me free reign to go where I want. Hehehe, suckers.

With slight amusement, Pocky thus decided it was going to take a little nap, letting the ship drift on auto pilot as it searched out a place to go.