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Chapter 16: Events in Konoha New
Evening. Sarutobi Hiruzen was, as usual, sitting in his office, sifting through papers and smoking his pipe.

Gazing at the report on the general affairs of the "P‑Puzzles" company, he could only sigh and set it aside. After that, he took out a scroll and wrote a decree saying he was no longer to be notified about that particular venture.

Koharu‑chan did a good job, he couldn't help but note.

And indeed, thanks to that woman, his ward had managed to acquire considerable resources without much harm to himself or those around him.

Hiruzen was too modest to admit his own significant role in this: answering Naruto's many questions regarding politics and the country's internal affairs, and helping him put together certain strategies.

The only thing is those "legal methods"... Here, the old man could only shake his head.

As Hokage, he was supposedly in charge of maintaining order in the country… or at least in his own Village. Hiruzen barely managed the second part, and even that was a stretch. How it had come to the point where he was almost abetting Naruto's shady business on the Land of Fire's territory was harder to justify. No—that was a lie. Sarutobi understood perfectly well that he was sometimes too soft. That was why he'd gone along with it. He just couldn't seem to do anything about it.

It had all started with that harmless suggestion that Naruto needed to be more responsible and start getting used to living on his own. It seemed like standard practice for someone his age, something taken for granted. And of course, no one would just dump a kid in an empty house without first teaching him how to do laundry, cook, and clean. But apparently, even if he hadn't shown it, his ward had taken those words way too seriously.

As a result of that seriousness, he went on a proper bender in the capital and rented himself a mansion. Why he'd done the latter was also beyond Sarutobi. By his standards, a house with walls was already good enough. Hiruzen's own parents had lived comfortably in tents. An apartment like Naruto's, he would have happily given to the Daimyo's children—and the Daimyo himself on top of that. Why not? The walls were straight with quality finishing, no pests, the floors didn't creak, there was hot water and gas. Everything was perfectly fine. But because of the view of some damned pipes, Naruto had flat‑out refused to live there…

In any case, it didn't matter anymore. A lot of time had passed since then. And, to the old man's regret, Naruto was the least of his, so to speak, "problems." Alas, Hiruzen was the Hokage, and a lot was happening in the village he ruled.

Shortly after classes started at the Academy, a Mist spy—Kohinata Mukai—was exposed in Konoha. Before that, Hiruzen had considered him a loyal shinobi, even if he was an irresponsible drunk at times. He was also a Hyuga bastard, and a fairly strong and well‑known Konoha ninja, though, again, there were times when he was assigned a mission but couldn't go because he was too drunk to walk.

Danzo uncovered this connection between the Leaf shinobi and the Mist and had him killed by two Uchiha—Itachi and Shisui.

Hiruzen disliked his "rival's" methods. He tried to see the best in people, especially those he had worked with for a long time, and those who had long (if not always) fulfilled their duties and cared about Konoha. And only some nagging feeling on the edge of his mind stopped Sarutobi from expressing this disapproval with more than just words.

After this incident, the ANBU ranks were joined by the youngest member in their history. Uchiha Itachi, it seemed, was not inferior in potential to his relative, Shisui.

What also bothered Hiruzen were Danzo's encroachments on the Uchiha clan, even if they seemed to benefit the village.

The Uchiha had been pushed out to live on the outskirts of the village, suspected of controlling the Nine‑Tails. The bijuu had definitely been controlled by an Uchiha, but whether he was actually loyal to the clan was unknown. Danzo was one of those who advocated openly distrusting the clan. Over time, that turned into worse and worse treatment.

Lamenting his own passivity, Hiruzen could only regret this. Over the years, it had eventually led to the discovery of a brewing Uchiha coup.

Sarutobi tried to resolve the matter peacefully, but with little success.

Danzo had managed to persuade Itachi to spy for them—the elders and the Hokage—on clan affairs. Hiruzen wanted to use this for a smoother resolution of the conflict, but the other elders were not so peace‑loving, while Danzo expressed contempt for his actions, saying that a ruler shouldn't be a doormat who lets everyone do as they please, and that such audacity (a planned coup) had to be answered in kind.

Then a solution, it seemed, presented itself. Not the best one… but a solution nonetheless. Uchiha Shisui revealed to the Hokage and the council that his Mangekyo Sharingan could profoundly alter a person's priorities. He also revealed his plan—with his eyes, it would be possible to rewrite the mind of the Uchiha clan head so that he himself would believe the coup was a bad idea and do everything he could to obstruct it from within the clan.

Hiruzen, as always, disliked this partial, yet still very real, murder of a personality. But that sacrifice was acceptable to save hundreds, perhaps thousands, of lives that could be extinguished if the coup happened.

So Hiruzen agreed to the plan and ordered Shisui to act. This, judging by his reactions, did not please Danzo. It was as if he wanted an escalation of the conflict, one that could deal a monstrous blow to the Leaf.

Just recently, Shisui's body had been found in the river, and Hiruzen couldn't help but feel a surge of dark emotions.

Perhaps—just perhaps, Hiruzen thought—someone had taken too much upon himself. Perhaps he didn't understand that his actions could lead Konoha—thousands of people, and possibly far more—to their deaths. After all, after a revolution, the Village would be weakened, which could lead to another war.

But without hard evidence, he couldn't pass judgment. There was a chance that Shisui had failed in his plan and been killed by his own… but the old man's intuition told him otherwise.

For now, all Sarutobi could do was continue his policy of reconciliation, so things wouldn't come to the worst.

Lost in thought, Hiruzen didn't notice that night had fallen.

"!"

"A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A!!!!!"

A wave of very powerful, vicious chakra, as sudden as a bout of diarrhea, nearly launched the old man out of his chair. A heart‑rending scream echoed across all of Konoha.

"N‑Naruto?!" Sarutobi couldn't believe his own senses, unerringly recognizing the chakra as he stepped up to the window.

"You old bastard! I'll wrap your guts around a fucking flag until you howl like a jackal, you bitch!" came the voice of Hiruzen's ward from outside the window.

Boom—a muffled explosion sounded, shaking even the Hokage's residence slightly.

"You think your shitty clone is gonna fool me? I'll shove your airheaded ass into a meat grinder and churn you into paste! Then I'll feed you to a pack of mangy dogs just like you!"

"!!"

An even stronger wave of chakra washed over the Village, making the windows of the Hokage's residence tremble.

"I'll find you, you bitch! I'll shove you in a furnace, then flush your ashes down the shitter! You're fucking dead, Koharu‑u!"

Watching the blond figure rapidly disappear into the distance, the Hokage simply closed his eyes.

So that's what she meant back then, when she said she'd take Naruto's training to a new level, Sarutobi thought, nodding to himself as he sat back down in his chair. Well then, old friend. That was your decision, and you can deal with it yourself.

After that, the old man, as if he hadn't seen or heard a thing, simply went back to sorting through the remaining papers.

Interlude. Utatane Koharu. A little earlier

Late evening wrapped Konoha in a soft blanket of silence. In the modest room of a certain "old hag," a single lamp burned. Its uneven light snatched the elder's focused face from the gloom, along with the glint of thin senbon needles she was methodically arranging on a low table.

She inspected each senbon carefully, checking its balance and sharpness, then gently dabbed its tip in a viscous, almost black liquid from a small ceramic vial.

Lately, her thoughts often revolved around a single figure—Uzumaki Naruto.

The boy. A bundle of contradictions. Insolence bordering on outright impudence and a mind as sharp as a kunai's edge. Self‑confidence and an astonishing, almost frightening capacity for learning. Hiruzen, her old friend and eternal opponent in matters of education and policy, saw in him some sort of messianic destiny, a reflection of his parents' Will of Fire. Koharu, however, long used to looking at the world without rose‑colored glasses, saw above all… potential. Vast, unrefined, like a diamond found in the mud. Potential that could become either Konoha's greatest asset or its ruin if not cut and polished correctly. She preferred to think of him as a tool. Perhaps the most perfect tool that had ever fallen into her hands. But a tool needs a master's hand so it serves its purpose instead of maiming everything around it.

That was her goal and her motive. As an elder and someone whom Tobirama‑sensei himself had entrusted with protecting Konoha, she couldn't ignore Hiruzen's offer to become the jinchuriki's mentor. That would have been irresponsible, weak, and dangerous for the Leaf's future. If she hadn't agreed, Uzumaki could have ended up in other, possibly much worse, hands.

His recent escapade with the puzzles had stirred a complex mix of emotions in Koharu. On one hand, the blatant disregard for the rules, the use of proxies, the manipulations—all of that couldn't help but earn her disapproval as an elder and guardian of order. On the other… she couldn't help but appreciate the brilliant application of the very principles she had taught him. Market analysis, identifying needs (even artificially created ones), exploiting weaknesses (greed, gambling), scaling up with shadow clones, calculated risk and a timely exit with maximum profit. It was an almost perfect sabotage operation, just transplanted into the peacetime economy. The brat had not only absorbed her lessons on tactics and strategy—he'd creatively reworked them and applied them in a completely unexpected field. That spoke of a flexible mind, of an ability to think outside the box. Qualities invaluable for a shinobi of her profile. Hiruzen, of course, lamented the "questionable methods," but Koharu saw in it further proof that her lessons hadn't gone to waste.

However, success in intellectual games and even in controlled spars didn't guarantee survival in the real world. In a world where the enemy wouldn't follow rules, where an attack could come from any direction, at any moment. Naruto was physically strong, his chakra control was growing at an astonishing rate, his mind was sharp. But he lacked… animal instinct. Instincts honed to a shine, reflexes that outpaced thought. He knew what analysis and calculation were. But sometimes there's simply no time for that.

Hiruzen worried about his "soul," his "humanity." Koharu understood that concern. She herself wouldn't have wanted to see a soulless killing machine at her side, no matter what other shinobi thought of her preferences. But she also knew that excessive softness, indecisiveness, the inability to act hard and fast in a critical situation—that was a straight road to the shinobi cemetery. Survival first, philosophy later. That was her principle.

That was precisely why she had decided on this… lesson. Senbon coated in a specially prepared compound. Not lethal, no. Koharu wasn't reckless. But it would cause enough pain to knock all the fake calm out of the boy, all his confidence in controlling the situation. Pain is an excellent teacher—the fastest and the most straightforward. It would force his body to remember that danger can come from where you least expect it. That you can't relax for a single second. That the world is not a safe training ground.

Koharu imagined his reaction. Rage, of course. Possibly a stream of prime curses, which he was famous for in moments of irritation. An attempt to catch up, to take revenge. All of that was predictable. And even useful. Rage could be channeled, turned into fuel for growth. The important thing was not to let it drown him, but to teach him to control that fire.

Koharu's clone was ready. The escape route was planned. There was, of course, a risk. Hiruzen could find out and be extremely displeased. But in such serious matters, Utatane was used to acting out of necessity, not out of fear of someone else's opinion, even if that opinion was the Hokage's. She bore the responsibility for making sure this "tool" was not only powerful, but also reliable. And if, for that, she had to use slightly… unorthodox methods, she was ready.

Tomorrow, Uzumaki Naruto would receive a very important lesson. One that might, one day, save his life. And if he broke from such a "trifle"… well, then Hiruzen had been wrong about his potential. Better to find that out now.

Koharu finished with the last senbon. There was no malice in her eyes, no sadism. Only cold calculation and firm conviction in the rightness of her actions. She didn't enjoy other people's pain.

She was just doing her job.

Sharpening her tool.


Stalking from a great distance, Koharu's Shadow Clone pursued its target. Uzumaki had a monstrous sensory ability at close range and an extremely good one at medium range, but that didn't mean he was omniscient. Far from it; everyone has weaknesses, there's always a way in.

Sitting on one of the high‑rises, Koharu finally waited for Naruto to stop moving. He'd gone into some hole‑in‑the‑wall place with tables under an awning. Only the lower half of his body was visible.

Good enough view.

She took out a senbon, then began to form Wind Release chakra around it.

A fleeting moment of concentration—and the projectile shot forward at immense speed, burying itself halfway into his right buttock.

"!"

"A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A‑A!!!!!"

The mission was almost complete. Now all that was left was to wait for a good moment to disperse, after which the original, currently outside Konoha, would send a letter to the Hokage saying that Utatane was going to visit a certain secret place (without, of course, specifying where in the letter), so she would be absent from the Village of the Leaf for about a week.

For now, she could direct Uzumaki's anger where it needed to go—that is, at Koharu. And maybe, just a tiny bit, mess with him: tell him exactly what kind of poison it was and lecture him that he needed to be more careful.

Uzumaki Naruto's POV

Ugh… fuck, that bony bitch… I was mentally cursing Koharu, limping in the direction of my house while at the same time trying, with a hand on my ass and the help of chakra, to draw out the poison. Feels like Amaterasu, that local goddess from the fairy tales, spat right on my ass…

Thanks to the adrenaline dump, I'd stopped feeling the pain almost as soon as it hit, and right after her words about the pain‑inducing poison, I lunged at Koharu. Real shame it was just a clone, which popped the moment my fist was supposed to knock that cold snake's head off.

Alas, even after that—after I swept the whole damn village with my sensory perception—I still couldn't find her chakra. The Leaf was too crowded to pick out her signature at long range, so I spent about five minutes darting around the Village until the pain reminded me it was still there.

The old hag had apparently accounted for everything and, after altering her signature, was hiding somewhere, so I wouldn't be able to find her even if I really tried.

But whatever. The world's round and Konoha's not that big. If not today, we'll bump into each other in a month…

During my search for the granny, chunin and jonin kept rolling up on me, asking if everything was okay. I barely remember how I, probably not very politely, told them yeah, I couldn't be better, and asked them not to get in the way of me looking for one very bad person.

Right now, using my top‑tier chakra shape‑manipulation skills and, on sheer willpower, forcing a freshly invented medical ninjutsu technique through my whole body, I was making a second technique pull the poison—which had already spread through my bloodstream—back to the entry point, while the first finally extracted it from my body.

Should've learned Suiton… I whined inwardly, not very familiar with Water Release jutsu—same as, honestly, with other elemental jutsu. With Water, it would've been easier to flush this crap out of my system.

With similar thoughts, after walking another two hundred meters, I finally managed to completely get rid of the poison. After that, I headed home normally, along the rooftops.

So what was I thinking about back at that cafe? About the Uchiha. They were on everyone's lips right now because of the death of their genius.

Shisui had seemed like such a good guy, even if he was an asshole sometimes. Shame about him.

This whole mess that the average villager doesn't even see—but it's there. The coup. In theory, I could stick my nose into it, change something.

A bit late for that now, of course. It would've been better to interfere while Shisui was still alive. There would've been more options.

The question was: did I even need this?

I turned over the dubious "pros" in my head—like, say, strengthening Konoha in the long run thanks to a clan with strong genes; maybe, though that was doubtful, the Uchiha's loyalty; and, most importantly, a sane Sasuke, who might grow into a seriously powerful shinobi and help me in a clash with the Otsutsuki… Did I mention these prospects were dubious? Every single bullet point on that list was.

The downsides that would follow me helping resolve the coup were… putting myself on the map and making an enemy out of Danzo—if I remembered right, he was the one who really wanted to shorten all the Uchiha by a head. And then it got even worse: putting myself on the radar of Obito, that masked bastard who fought the old man who used to own this body, killed my mother, a bunch of other people, and almost me along with them. And the old man, by the way, had been far from the weakest Kage. On top of that, there was Black Zetsu lurking somewhere out there, that black goo from hentai cartoons that was supposedly crazy smart and a crazy good manipulator. With all that, getting involved in this coup business looked like a perverted way of committing suicide.

About "putting myself on the map." By that I meant showing that I could be a threat. My chakra flares around the village and my jumps across the rooftops didn't really show much of that threat. Having a shit‑ton of chakra doesn't mean I can actually use it. Shunshin doesn't prove much either. And I hadn't thrown around any techniques even of B‑rank, so there probably wasn't much to worry about yet.

Back to the Uchiha. Even if I completely turned my brain off and decided to barge into this mess, how was I supposed to resolve the coup so that the Uchiha stayed alive—and everyone else in the Village too?

I could try to find irrefutable proof that the Uchiha were being manipulated by a third party (Obito), and that this manipulator was behind the Nine‑Tails' attack and all the tension. Assuming that kind of proof even existed. That'd require insane espionage skills, serious analytical chops, and probably help from people I trusted completely—like ANBU personally loyal to me (which, conveniently, I did not have). I'd need to find Obito's tracks, his motives, his connection to past events…

Maybe some people in Konoha thought I was too full of myself. I didn't see it that way. Sure, I was hot shit, but in an operation like that there was, what, a ninety‑nine percent chance I'd screw up somewhere and get myself killed. And even if everything somehow worked out, Obito would most likely find out about my little investigation and try to take me out. Meanwhile, the evidence itself might be considered unconvincing. Meaning I'd just be putting myself under very serious risk without getting anything good out of it.

Another option—though not exactly less insane than the previous one—was to reveal my whole "transmigrator" deal to the Uchiha head. Genjutsu isn't just about illusions. It's also about suggestion, hypnosis, forcing someone to spill what they subjectively think is the truth. So I could stroll up to Fugaku and ask him to use his Sharingan to make me tell him everything I knew about Obito. Then hand that information over to Konoha's leadership under a Yamanaka technique (or the other way around, the order didn't matter much).

That could shift the focus of anger and distrust from the Uchiha to a common enemy. But again, it was all iffy. Starting with the fact that I considered the Uchiha not quite right in the head, and if I came at them with a request like that, they'd either kill me or pack me up and send me off to a psych ward. An Uzumaki jinchuriki is a rarity these days, after all, and just being a weirdo isn't reason enough to kill one.

I could also be some kind of middleman between the Uchiha and the Village's interests, to drag them both to some compromise. Say, more rights for the Uchiha, more respect, lifting of suspicion; for the Village—guarantees of loyalty, a promise to drop the coup idea. Speaking very roughly. But for that I'd need a reputation, power, and some insane diplomatic skills. And the Hokage was probably already doing that, or would start once he learned about the coup; given his character, he almost definitely would. And if even the old man couldn't pull it off, what business did I have sticking my nose in?

The last option was also as dubious as it sounded: kill Danzo and Fugaku, as the main escalators of the conflict, and scatter evidence pointing to some third, unknown party. And then, whatever happens, happens. That might kill the conflict and unite both sides to take on this mysterious threat—or, on the contrary, speed the coup up. And that was without even getting into how to kill two strong, high‑ranking shinobi in the Village at once. Honestly, that part wasn't even the biggest problem. The real problem was doing it in a way that neither side would suspect the other—and that no suspicion would fall on me either. That was the part that was a real pain.

Summing it all up, it was better for me not to climb into this coup shit at all. Sure, I felt bad for the people—but I felt worse for myself.

By the time I reached my little mansion, I'd finally decided the Uchiha's fate.

As for Sasuke… if I ever actually needed him, I'd grit my teeth and pay for a psychiatrist. Luckily, I had a contact.

For now, again, it was time to focus on my own business. Fuinjutsu, medical ninjutsu, brush up on some elemental jutsu. And I still needed to set up a Terrible Vengeance for Koharu.

So I dove into my own stuff.

And so the days started rolling by again.

The old hag only came back a week later. But when I mirrored her and stuck a senbon with a custom poison of my own into her, she just said it was unoriginal and that I could do better, then dispersed. Clone, obviously.

After that, every few days she'd show up again—only to get ambushed by me. Koharu had been right, I could do better, and I really had to come up with more and more twisted tactics. Shame that every time she sent a clone, while she herself seemed to have moved out of Konoha altogether. Worse yet, those same clones started coming after me on their own, each time with a different poison, making me go through the same very painful sensations several more times.

For a week I couldn't sleep. Even moving my bedroom into a windowless corridor didn't stop her. She'd sneak into my house—since she couldn't hit me from long range—and still manage to stick those damn needles into my poor, sleeping body.

Only after a month did I fully adapt. My soul‑sphere vision helped a lot with that, or so I thought. It felt like my brain was now using it—along with my other senses, to a lesser degree—to monitor danger around me even better, around the clock. By the end of that period, after I'd noticed those abilities in myself, I even risked sleeping next to the windows again. And you can imagine my surprise when I managed—on the second try, but still—to catch Koharu's senbon in my hand, and only then wake up.

After that incident, the elder's attacks started to taper off. They'd just lost their point, since every attempt ended with yet another dispersed clone.

Over time, I even developed a sort of grudging gratitude toward the old woman for hammering those very useful reflexes into me.

Then, another month later, when I was no longer half‑dead and pissed off all the time, she came to make peace. For her, constantly sending out clones just to have me pop them was a hassle. And on top of that, she was an elder—she had duties in the village and all that. Back then, Koharu also explained her motive: that I needed to develop proper shinobi reflexes, for my own safety for the rest of my life.

I agreed not to hunt her anymore, and she, judging by her behavior, only fully believed it another couple of months later.

Our delightful relationship—where we tried to stick the nastiest possible poison into each other—continued in our spars. In off‑hours, though, it stayed one‑sided: only from me, to really lock those reflexes in.

Time started flying by again, business as usual.

Koharu, as I figured, was starting to let her guard down…

And that was exactly what I'd been waiting for…

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

In ten months, she'd regret ever being born…


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