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Trump Card (Worm AU) [Complete]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ack, Sep 2, 2014.

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  1. Zackarix

    Zackarix Hera's Divorce Lawyer

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    Congratulations on finishing another fic! You're on a roll.
     
  2. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

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    Still would have been nice to see the fight :D
     
    Ack likes this.
  3. Darkarma

    Darkarma Loli Ōtsutsuki

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    Sad to see it end, this was my favorite of your fics. Good job on it.
     
    Ack likes this.
  4. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    Little shocked Contessa didnt make an appearance.
     
    Ack likes this.
  5. Zackarix

    Zackarix Hera's Divorce Lawyer

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    One thing I found interesting about the ending to this fic is that you took the road less traveled by and had gold morning happen years down the road. Most fics imitate canon and have scion set off early, but here they took advantage of the extended timeline and prepared.
     
  6. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    Ok.

    I enjoyed this. But, I do feel this was too easy. Not so much the Golden Morning, but, in general.


    It's a bit too slick. Taylor wins a little too smoothly.


    I think it's a bad habit of yours, Ack. Sometimes, the Hero needs a setback, so the eventual win is even more satifying.
     
    macdjord likes this.
  7. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    It was very quick.

    Alibi kicked the shit out of Jack Slash, Taylor stunned Crawler, they located Manton and neutralised him, then dumped everyone into a portal.

    When you have the resources of Cauldron at your disposal, fights tend to go that way.
    She did, but only in passing. She's the one who located Dinah Alcott.

    She tends to avoid Taylor, because she's miffed that Taylor can use her Paths better than she can.
    They spent SIXTEEN YEARS planning it out. Every last detail. Once Jack Slash was out of the way, they avoided all major conflicts via Contessa and Dinah (and Watchdog, under Lisa) and got all the pieces in place before springing the trap.

    It almost went wrong anyway (though she'd planned for that, too) but the reason there wasn't an "oh shit we almost lost" setback is because Taylor had the facts at her disposal, the resources of Cauldron at her disposal, and set about taking down Scion the smart way. That is, not by trying to outpunch him, but by leading him into a trap and smashing him.

    There's drama, and then there's grimderp "we gotta fight like hell to gain every inch" drama. I decided to avoid that by having Taylor do it smart.
     
  8. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    I wasn't talking about the Epilogue.


    It's a tendancy of your stories. To my taste, it's a bit too easy for the "Hero" to win.


    I'm not saying its bad. I like your stuff. But, I don't feel things are hard enough.


    You might know what I'm saying already. But, if not, it might help flesh things out, so....

    Hope it helps.
     
    ShadowStepper1300, macdjord and Ack like this.
  9. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I have been working on that tendency.
     
    ChestBurster likes this.
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