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Will of The Force (Star Wars / Worm)

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Crista20 said:
Well that was the worst chapter I've ever read, an important moment followed by something completely and utterly irrelevant and underwelming
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You read in QQ and this was the worst chapter you've ever read... I envy you.

Anyways, sorry you feel that way, but I thought it was important; although it was born that way, the story isn't just about Anakin anymore. And while I'll admit that the Endbringer fight itself is the focus of this arc, I thought this was an important moment for Dinah, and she's grown into just as much a part of the story as Anakin.


Necrovore said:
*Gasp* Stranger Danger! There were three guards at the door but they only froze two and the third is never mentioned again. Just where has this PRT impersonating stranger run off to in the middle of an endbringer fight! :p
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There was no third guard; you never read anything about that. Your mind must be playing tricks on you.

Now I'm tempted to actually make that guy a stranger... it wouldn't be the first mistake I pretended was intentional... You know what, there are no mistakes in my story, only foreshadowing; good job catching that one.


EDIT: I wonder how many stories have similar things happening- mistakes that were turned into plot points later when someone points it out, I'm sure there are a lot.

Questionable Traveler said:
Catching up and found a possible inconsistency.

In the Anakin chapter, Glory Girl is pronounced Deceased by the armband, but unless I read the Kayden chapter wrong, she was injured/unconscious but otherwise still alive. The detailing was a bit awkward so I can't tell if she's one of the 3 teenagers she called evac for. If she is dead, that seems like a great way to make Amy lose her shit early.
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Yeah, no, GG is dead. The Kayden chapter went back in time a little, going over the events from the start of the battle from her POV, and I probably could have made things clearer, but then again, it works fine this way. GG was injured; she couldn't get help in time and was pronounced dead a little after this. Anakin only really paid attention to the comms when she was dead.

I'll probably go back over the chapters and make sure the timeline matches some time tomorrow, but that's what happened.
 
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