Mr Zoat
Dedicated ragequitter
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3rd August 2013
01:05 GMT
"…recorded at the reliquary itself, which means that we have a definite date for when Savage was up and about again."
Darkstar Click Click-Click makes a slow and steady series of clicks, which my ring helpfully informs me is a sign of bewilderment rather than actual speech. "He survived having his body torn apart, and those parts being exposed to vacuum and falling through the atmosphere to your planet's surface."
Jade and I nod together. "Yes. " / "Uh-huh."
"How?"
"Based on what Klarion said, he may be able to regrow his entire body from his amygdala with no or very limited memory loss. Presumably, he uses some sort of non-standard memory storage and has access to some form of exotic energy to fuel his regeneration, but that's speculative. And, yes, people have tried burning him to death before to try and destroy him completely so there wouldn't be anything for him to regenerate from… It didn't work."
Larksh nervously licks her eyes. "How will we kill him?"
Jade shakes her head. "You won't." She then calls up his file on their holodisplay. "We don't carry weapons that could do the job. The important part is that he isn't invulnerable. He isn't much tougher than a normal humanoid, though he is a lot more determined. Since he knows that he'll recover from any injury he takes, he will keep going until he physically can't."
She looks pointedly at me.
"If you encounter him and can get a message out, notify me, or if you can't get hold of me one of the other Orange Lanterns. Even if physical destruction can't kill him I'd like to give assimilation a go. Failing that… Dump his brain in acid, in such a way that we can replace the acid on a regular basis. Thread barbed wire though the regrowing mass so that he gets brain damaged. Throw his remains into a sun or a black hole. Dump him somewhere in deep space and then lose the coordinates."
Calpri shimmers, indicating a desire to ask a question. I nod. "Which would you prefer?"
"Assimilation. Absorbing fifty thousand years worth of memories won't be much fun, but it will give me vital knowledge of his recent activities. Lantern Son of Great Mother could probably handle that part more easily. And obviously, don't put yourselves at risk unnecessarily. I'll be perfectly happy if he gets to spend the next five billion years working on his tan. It might be interesting to talk to him afterwards."
Jade nods. "How does this affect our priorities?"
"Up to you. If you think the best use of your time is to head to Daxam and investigate there, then do so. If you think that it's not, then don't. I don't know enough to set priorities."
"But you're most worried about Batman."
"I am, but that doesn't mean that I'm weighing things properly. If he's actually mind controlled and Savage is involved, following up with Savage might be the best thing to do."
"Is that likely?"
"I wouldn't have thought so, but last week I would have said the same about Superman and he nearly killed me." Jade nods. "Anything any of you need from me right now?"
Negative gestures from everyone except Jade, who nods. "I have a personal query."
Her eyes flick in the direction of the teleportarium. I nod, and gesture to the corridor with my right hand. She leads the way and I follow-.
I accelerate, matching her pace and reaching out to catch her left hand in my right. She gives me a slightly surprised look, but graciously tolerates the imposition.
"I've missed you, too."
"If I could go back in time and kill Mannheim before he could tie me to Earth for so long, I would."
She smiles faintly. "You mean you can't?"
"No, we're on Dragonball Zee rules now. All going back in time would do is create an alternate timeline unless I got the Time Trapper onside first."
"Isn't she a version of me?"
"A version of you who never met me before that whole mess happened. Unless she's already been replaced…" Ah… "Though 'already' isn't.. really…"
She nods. "I understand."
We reach the teleportarium and she turns to face me as the door closes. Her eyes drift down to where I'm still holding her hand, and then back up to my face.
I nod, raise her hand slightly and take hold of it in my left hand as well.
She makes a quiet but amused-sounding snort.
"It's not flowers, but-"
I fabricate an inordinate quantity of flowers and deposit them around us.
"-it's-." She takes a moment to take in the flowers, her head still but her eyes absorbing everything. "Nice."
"So, what's the question?"
"Am I stuck on Venus for the whole investigation, or can I actually tell Mom that I'm here?"
"As long as you don't mind using your accrued leave time. I doubt that anyone is going to check up on you too closely."
"And the rest of my squad?"
"I can set up a zeta tube to Ungara. The weather's lovely this time of year, and there's no travel between Ungara and Earth."
"What if they need to go to Earth?"
"They can tell people that they're un-men. Or weird biological experiments." I shrug. "Or just say they woke up like that one day. People will probably believe that. It'll only be a problem if their exo-mantles get seen."
"Because Batman knows what exo-mantles look like."
"I'm not.. sure, but the Green Lantern Corps certainly does and he can just ask them. What time zone are you on?"
"I think it's somewhere in the Pacific. I'll be back to Eastern Standard in a couple of days." She smiles. "Taking me somewhere nice?"
"All of you is nice." She snorts quietly. "But I certainly intend to. Um. Your apartment."
"Is it on fire?"
"No, it's-."
"Was it on fire?"
"It just… It doesn't smell of you any more, and I've been living in Bir Tawil… I just wondered if you'd given any thought to what you wanted to do with it."
She thinks for a moment. "What's the Gotham property market like?"
"Pretty bad, but the few companies with ready cash have been buying up job lots. Historically, this sort of thing usually causes a baby boom. And if the fiscal forecasts I've been reading are correct, Mannheim might have saved government pensions schemes."
"How?"
"They're effectively pyramid schemes, but since old people died disproportionally often their liabilities dropped a lot. We're nearly solvent enough to afford new old people."
She winces theatrically, but can't quite stop herself smiling. "That's awful."
"I try. Now, if you'll excuse me-" I raise her hand to my lips and kiss it. "I have to go and buttonhole Lex Luthor."
01:05 GMT
"…recorded at the reliquary itself, which means that we have a definite date for when Savage was up and about again."
Darkstar Click Click-Click makes a slow and steady series of clicks, which my ring helpfully informs me is a sign of bewilderment rather than actual speech. "He survived having his body torn apart, and those parts being exposed to vacuum and falling through the atmosphere to your planet's surface."
Jade and I nod together. "Yes. " / "Uh-huh."
"How?"
"Based on what Klarion said, he may be able to regrow his entire body from his amygdala with no or very limited memory loss. Presumably, he uses some sort of non-standard memory storage and has access to some form of exotic energy to fuel his regeneration, but that's speculative. And, yes, people have tried burning him to death before to try and destroy him completely so there wouldn't be anything for him to regenerate from… It didn't work."
Larksh nervously licks her eyes. "How will we kill him?"
Jade shakes her head. "You won't." She then calls up his file on their holodisplay. "We don't carry weapons that could do the job. The important part is that he isn't invulnerable. He isn't much tougher than a normal humanoid, though he is a lot more determined. Since he knows that he'll recover from any injury he takes, he will keep going until he physically can't."
She looks pointedly at me.
"If you encounter him and can get a message out, notify me, or if you can't get hold of me one of the other Orange Lanterns. Even if physical destruction can't kill him I'd like to give assimilation a go. Failing that… Dump his brain in acid, in such a way that we can replace the acid on a regular basis. Thread barbed wire though the regrowing mass so that he gets brain damaged. Throw his remains into a sun or a black hole. Dump him somewhere in deep space and then lose the coordinates."
Calpri shimmers, indicating a desire to ask a question. I nod. "Which would you prefer?"
"Assimilation. Absorbing fifty thousand years worth of memories won't be much fun, but it will give me vital knowledge of his recent activities. Lantern Son of Great Mother could probably handle that part more easily. And obviously, don't put yourselves at risk unnecessarily. I'll be perfectly happy if he gets to spend the next five billion years working on his tan. It might be interesting to talk to him afterwards."
Jade nods. "How does this affect our priorities?"
"Up to you. If you think the best use of your time is to head to Daxam and investigate there, then do so. If you think that it's not, then don't. I don't know enough to set priorities."
"But you're most worried about Batman."
"I am, but that doesn't mean that I'm weighing things properly. If he's actually mind controlled and Savage is involved, following up with Savage might be the best thing to do."
"Is that likely?"
"I wouldn't have thought so, but last week I would have said the same about Superman and he nearly killed me." Jade nods. "Anything any of you need from me right now?"
Negative gestures from everyone except Jade, who nods. "I have a personal query."
Her eyes flick in the direction of the teleportarium. I nod, and gesture to the corridor with my right hand. She leads the way and I follow-.
I accelerate, matching her pace and reaching out to catch her left hand in my right. She gives me a slightly surprised look, but graciously tolerates the imposition.
"I've missed you, too."
"If I could go back in time and kill Mannheim before he could tie me to Earth for so long, I would."
She smiles faintly. "You mean you can't?"
"No, we're on Dragonball Zee rules now. All going back in time would do is create an alternate timeline unless I got the Time Trapper onside first."
"Isn't she a version of me?"
"A version of you who never met me before that whole mess happened. Unless she's already been replaced…" Ah… "Though 'already' isn't.. really…"
She nods. "I understand."
We reach the teleportarium and she turns to face me as the door closes. Her eyes drift down to where I'm still holding her hand, and then back up to my face.
I nod, raise her hand slightly and take hold of it in my left hand as well.
She makes a quiet but amused-sounding snort.
"It's not flowers, but-"
I fabricate an inordinate quantity of flowers and deposit them around us.
"-it's-." She takes a moment to take in the flowers, her head still but her eyes absorbing everything. "Nice."
"So, what's the question?"
"Am I stuck on Venus for the whole investigation, or can I actually tell Mom that I'm here?"
"As long as you don't mind using your accrued leave time. I doubt that anyone is going to check up on you too closely."
"And the rest of my squad?"
"I can set up a zeta tube to Ungara. The weather's lovely this time of year, and there's no travel between Ungara and Earth."
"What if they need to go to Earth?"
"They can tell people that they're un-men. Or weird biological experiments." I shrug. "Or just say they woke up like that one day. People will probably believe that. It'll only be a problem if their exo-mantles get seen."
"Because Batman knows what exo-mantles look like."
"I'm not.. sure, but the Green Lantern Corps certainly does and he can just ask them. What time zone are you on?"
"I think it's somewhere in the Pacific. I'll be back to Eastern Standard in a couple of days." She smiles. "Taking me somewhere nice?"
"All of you is nice." She snorts quietly. "But I certainly intend to. Um. Your apartment."
"Is it on fire?"
"No, it's-."
"Was it on fire?"
"It just… It doesn't smell of you any more, and I've been living in Bir Tawil… I just wondered if you'd given any thought to what you wanted to do with it."
She thinks for a moment. "What's the Gotham property market like?"
"Pretty bad, but the few companies with ready cash have been buying up job lots. Historically, this sort of thing usually causes a baby boom. And if the fiscal forecasts I've been reading are correct, Mannheim might have saved government pensions schemes."
"How?"
"They're effectively pyramid schemes, but since old people died disproportionally often their liabilities dropped a lot. We're nearly solvent enough to afford new old people."
She winces theatrically, but can't quite stop herself smiling. "That's awful."
"I try. Now, if you'll excuse me-" I raise her hand to my lips and kiss it. "I have to go and buttonhole Lex Luthor."