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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    I think he was a bit unsure of his position at first, due to being new to it, but I think he got better.
     
  2. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

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    I agree it does seem weird, my first guess is that there was a gap where they hurriedly found a way to give the ring charge and since Melmoth opened with negotiations he probably just let them do it.

    Or maybe Zoat forgot.
     
  3. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    So it basically stunted itself into irrelevance once the Queen went bye-bye. And I see ol' Swirly-cheeks is as annoyingly upbeat as ever.

    Points for confidence in the face of clearly well-equipped opposition.

    No doubt there were images of him in the Sheeda archives, given how long he's had to browse them over the millennia.

    Haven't you heard? A Rumour can be halfway around the world (or the universe, in this case) before the Truth has even got its' boots on.

    No doubt information culled from contacts on modern-day Earth. We know from 'Seven Soldiers' that he had people all over.

    Just not 'Huntress'? That was your mother's name, and it'll be used by Helena Bertinelli in turn... And maybe Batman's daughter, someday. Really, there are only so many good hero names for your skill-set.

    ...I... :eek: But... :confused: Bugger, he has a good point. :mad: Fuck him for talking good sense!

    It's... I won't say it's a nice place, and visiting was certainly informative, but, no, I wouldn't want to stay.

    To be honest, does it really matter? Starbreaker's presence was basically messing up time anyway.

    Do you need to know where you are, to follow a beacon in the distance? To sight on a lighthouse? As for returning home, presumably when they're done harvesting, they release whatever keeps them in the past and get flung back like a temporal rubber band.

    ...Either Grayven and Artemis got dumped a long time after the Queen's last launch or they have been here way, way longer than they thought. o_O Or is he counting the span of years between the 'present day' and now? ...Yeah, that makes more sense...

    The only question is what he plans to do with the Sheeda now. No constant leeching of resources to maintain their failing lifestyle, Grayven's plans have given them vast energy reserves now... Honestly, if he plans to keep raiding the past, then he really is Stupid Evil.

    And no doubt Melmoth would simply stomp in, pull on whatever psychic strings he had laced through the Sheeda people and slide right back into his old despotic ways...

    Which is why he's shown up right now, before they can set up that new system... The Nobility can't bitch about losing something they were never granted, can they? :rolleyes:

    That would be the Warlock-breed Columbians, eh? I'll bet they're stronger than they appear.

    And the Sheeda have had years of global cooperation now. I doubt Ol' Swirly-Cheeks could drive a wedge into that, short of some very subtle triggers planted in the base of the Sheeda genome...

    A good question. What reason do they have to trust him at all?

    How very... Honest of him. No doubt there's something he's neglecting to mention. Even the fakest Fae knows how to lie with only the truth.

    I'd quote GlaDOS, but Handlewithcare got there first. And boy, the stench of bullshit is strong with this one.

    It feels like being conquered, doesn't it? Surrendering all you've gained to someone without an honest fight for it? I'm not surprised your Godhead is reluctant to let go.

    Good idea. If he's planning to continue the Harrowings... Someone is going to get his smiley ass beat.

    Given he can easily have spent millennia studying, especially since there was no do-gooders barging in on his plans for Columbia, I'm not surprised.

    It's just a matter of what the Endless have to say about it. Even if Dream has passed (unlikely, given that the Sheeda still live and dream,) his siblings Death and Destiny might want words.

    And the orange ring sparks with fresh avarice...

    ...I hate to say it, but Vaermina does have a point. Last chapter his ring was drained, and I doubt they took a side-trip to the emotion-caster city with an imminent threat sitting right there... I mean, I know time is funky here, but really?

    You know, it really does feel like even the Source is getting sick of this plotline, with all these Deus ex Machinae flying around... I suppose not every chapter can be a banger, of course... And how appropriate that Melmoth ends up branded in both timelines. Pity Grayven isn't skilled enough to cleanly realign his desires. But a little mind-rape never hurt a bad guy, did it? Not one word about Identity Crisis!



    So much grinning... Any better way to word it?
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.

    Grayven never lost his personal lantern. I made an explicit reference to a technique that could allow him to give him enough power to regain access to it in the last segment. At that point, with Starbreaker no longer draining everything, recharging his ring was something he would obviously do before facing down an intruder.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020 at 8:09 AM
  5. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    How... No, why does this make you happier Arty? Knowing you're 'approximately one billion years from the Last Harrowing'* doesn't matter in any way. It could be 5 billion and make no difference to you.

    *I'd say 'a billion years from home' but at this point this blased place should feel more of a 'home' to you. You've been there for centuries compared to mere years you spent in the Past.

    How convenient!

    The only real choice. Now quick, do the same to Vamp-Ra! In fact, Assimilate them both just to be on the safe side.

    This is an incredibly contrieved and anti-climactic ending to an Episode but I'll happily take it :)

    edit: Let's pretend this never happened and go back to courting a pony princess! At least now Grayven is nearing his first millennium so Luna is no longer cradle-robbing.

    That was literally a minute ago in-universe. They saw Melmoth's ship and Artemis beamed them down to see what's what. They had no time to visit the emotion magic specialists.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020 at 9:48 AM
  6. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    She can take it up to honor her mother, but use it for good.

    Or just regular evil.

    Given everything Starbreaker did it's possible that Dream has been taken off the board so to speak.

    We know that the Endless aren't invincible, as Despair, the original one, was killed by a mortal, and Morpheus was bound for decades, and in the recent Dreaming comics something similar happaned to Daniel.

    Starbreaker was extremely powerful so he may have had the power to either permanently kill Dream, or just imprison him.

    As for Death and Destiny, well Destiny doesn't exactly do much most of the time and Death may not care about what Melmoth does.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    It makes her happy because she finally has some idea of how far away they are from the past, and in the first chapters she was wondering about the time.

    She might have spent who knows how long wondering how long in the future they are and she finally got an answer so she's a bit happy.

    She may also consider her past to be her home since while true she has been stuck in the future for potentially thousands of years most of those years were spent fighting a war being surrounded by sociopaths, while in the past she had good friends and people surrounding her.
     
  8. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Hmmm... She needs something original. Something no version or expy of her has ever used. Preferably something that hints at her pointy stick obsession. How about... 'Arrowette'! No wait, there's a C-lister with that name... Then how about... 'Green Arrowette'?

    But why does it matter? Either they have a time machine in which case the distance doesn't matter or they don't, in which case the distance also doesn't matter because one or five or dozen thousand or million or billion years is equally insurmountable.
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020 at 8:51 AM
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  9. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Hello there present readers.
    This is the past calling!
    Should the Summer's End 'timestamp' be here?
    This doesn't appear to be related to the Sheeda or their 'calender'
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No. As that segment has a different point of view character, it has their understanding of their own time.
     
  11. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    It matters to her because she cares about it.

    It doesn't need to have a logical reason for that, people can care and obsess over things even if they don't make much logical sense.

    The Late Summer one in orange was the date in the Gate universe.

    Summers End is the title of this episode.

    When Zoat begins a new episode he first writes the title of the episode and then the date in which the chapter is set in.
     
  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    The personal Lantern that would have been drained along side the ring and which would have no central orange power battery to draw energy to recharge from?

    Also there's the whole problem with the Entities being dead and gone along side the rest of the universe, so there should be no orange light period.
     
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  13. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Lantern was in subspace pocjet, who knows if the effect extends there?

    If no lights existed, no one would be able to feel anythng, yet they do.

    Not enough for entities to form, but obviously enoguh for the Rings.
     
  14. Lakanna

    Lakanna Lurker

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    Grayven only needed a spark of Orange to get his personal lantern from subspace, but there seems to be no time passing between last episode when his ring was completely drained, and this episode.
    A few hours or days of time skip between seeing the dreadnought and actually going to meet it should at least get a passing mention, or you get confused readers.
     
  15. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Not too sore, are you?

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    Yeah, that's what I assumed. We don't need to see every little detail.
     
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  16. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    i..think this is one of the Time's Vae genuinely has a point-

    given the extremely short timeframe between dealing with the energy drain and using his ring to brand, barring !not!Grayven having picked up a primer on how to charge his ring off passive/draining nearby avarice, well...

    the sudden colored text at a pivotal/potentially climatic moment made it look like that was going to happen-
    and, to be honest, it'd work/read a lot better then "i suddenly pulled my lantern out of subspace, with a dead ring, and charged the latter with it between metaphorical comic panels when ive had zero downtime between the last crisis and the current"

    It..doesn't quite work/feel right, im afraid, at least for me- it feels a little...well.. off, i guess,in the way it came out of nowhere when in the previous chapter he'd been seemingly considering taking a trip to another city (without ring flight/his usual mobility) to get his ring reactivated from a completely-drained state-though it could just be me here >~<

    -maybe a little revision/tweaking could help? i might be overthinking things again....
    for what its worth,im on mobile-if there's godspeech involved ive completely missed it >.<
     
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2020 at 12:08 PM
  17. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

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    Actually Mr Zoat what you failed to show here explicitly, was that sufficient time passed that we could infer that they went there and did that instead of them going straight to Melmoth as was implied here:
     
  18. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Know what you're doing yet?

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    He wanted this very, VERY baddly.
     
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  19. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Something to keep in mind folks is that it hardly takes any time at all to charge a ring.

    An orange lantern ring goes from 0 to 100% full in the time it would take to say
    "What's mine is mine and mine and mine.
    And mine and mine and mine!
    Not yours!"


    That's 16 syllables.

    So less time that it takes to say a haiku.

    Power rings are very impressive batteries.
     
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  20. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Nope.

    What last chapter has is Greyven stating that he doesn’t have such a technique, but want to/intends to develop one with the help of emotion specialised mages.
    Then they are interrupted by a capital ship turning up and state their intent to go check on it, with a strong implication that they would do so immediately rather than taking multiple hours/days to go prep.
     
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  21. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 Know what you're doing yet?

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    They've spent potentially decades on improving the infrastructure on this planet, using magic. If they don't have a way to get to the other side of the globe in a few minutes tops, like the dolmen gates Paragon helped get made or Artemis's rainbow bridge, I'll shove my dick in a blender.
     
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  22. hance1986

    hance1986 Not too sore, are you?

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    Zoat please correct me if I am wrong, but I think the dream harvesting thing is what drove Grayven to brand Melmoth.

    It feels similar to when Paragon was telling Melmoth about alternatives to Harrowing to save the Sheeda. And Melmoth refused because he liked hurting people even though he knew it was not as efficient and short sighted.

    Besides. How would harvesting dreams be any better? Sheeda having access to the collective unconscious of past civilizations could be disastrous? Stealing their dreams and ideas, inspiration? If those are harvested, it could create stasis and stagnation in a past civilization which could be just as bad or worse than the Harrowing was.

    Thoughts?
     
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  23. Finagle007

    Finagle007 [Verified Great Old One]

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    Melmoth reminds me of Columbus from FGO. Brilliant, but complete and utter scum.
     
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  24. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Renegade branded him because he was going to continue doing evil things for no reason aside from his own pleasure.

    Melmoth doesn't want to harvest from dreams to get resources, he wants to do it to hurt any of the people in those dreams.

    The renegade is going to fix the universe so Melmoth wouldn't need to keep harvesting for materials, but he wants to do it for his sadistic pleasure.

    And there have been potentially trillions of species that have existed in the universe, so Melmoth would have a lot of civilizations to harvest from, compared to the few civilizations that have existed on Earth.

    I also don't get what you mean by creating stagnation in a past civilization when all previous civilizations are dead and the only things left are their dreams.
     
  25. Doccer

    Doccer Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well Damn!
     
  26. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

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    Yes but getting to the place where he can get enough charge to do so takes some time anyway, and it was, incorrectly admittedly, inferred by a lot of people that they went straight to deal with Melmoth, due to an unspoken understanding of narrative conventions of the part that I quoted.
     
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  27. Doccer

    Doccer Know what you're doing yet?

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    I missed that. What was the quote?

    Be interesting if Dream had died and Artemis and Grayven rebirthed him by being the first to dream in a long time.
     
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  28. nick012000

    nick012000 Experienced.

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    I think that Grayven's ring just got recharged by the sheer force of Melmoth's avarice. Look at how much Orange there was there!

    Even before he became Dream, he was a superhero while armed with nothing but prophetic dreams and a gun that shot sleep gas. Dude has grit and a willingness to punish people for their misdeeds. I think that something like Melmoth's dream-based supervillainy plan would be exactly the sort of thing he'd punish severely.
     
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  29. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    The lack of times being noted at the beginning of each update really doesn't help the impression that this one happened almost immediately after the previous one ended. I guess Melmoth is one of those patient bosses that won't take any action until you show up in his throne room? Just a little odd that his scripting is different here than it was in the witch world, where he was *very* active, putting the player on a clock.
     
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  30. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Only blue rings can recharge by absorbing the ambient emotion around them, the others require a Lantern.

    Your talking about Wesley Dodds, who was the superhero Sandman.

    He, Morpheus and Daniel are separate beings.

    Morpheus was the original Dream, Daniel replaced him.

    Dodds on the other hand was a guy that got a piece of Morpheus's soul after he was imprisoned and through it received prophetic dreams that showed him a crime about to be committed, so he decided to become a superhero and stop them.

    He may have thought playing around with the ones responsible for killing an extremely powerful godlike being was a bad idea.

    He played around with Paul because he didn't know who he was, or what he accomplished, but he knows that renegade and Artemis killed Starbreaker so he thinks it's good to not try and screw with them.
     
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