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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Should be "them"
     
  2. Gilhelmi

    Gilhelmi Know what you're doing yet?

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    Ah, I see.

    So the Orange ring got a very slight charge from the Avarice that Melmoth showed. Which allowed him to call his lantern to brand him. You would not even need a full .01% (not 1%, I mean .01%)

    Kind of like how Blue rings get a slight charge when someone is hopeful around them. It makes sense that all colors can do that, its just that Hope, Compassion, and Love are actually efficient at it.

    That was a fun arc. I am worried about Artemins now. That is a lot to go through.
     
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  3. Cool10007

    Cool10007 (Verified Lurker)

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    My god. I have spent the past several weeks trapped in this fic - from spacebattles to sufficient velocity to here and it's still being updated. Mr Zoat, you have written what is undoubtedly one of the best fics I have ever read. Your continued support of this fic is nothing short of astounding and you should be very proud of what you've written.

    Now I'm going to unfry my brain from doing nothing but reading this for weeks on end.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2020
  4. Coda

    Coda I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Eh... It's debateable. When you have enough content that you have to start scripting how the parts all mutually interact... That could be argued to be a form of procedural generation in and of itself.
     
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  5. Threadmarks: Summer's End (part 22)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    5th May
    16:23 GMT -7


    I sit on the floor in the middle of the living…

    I sit on the floor in the middle of my living room, television on and showing the highlights of a meeting between the UN Security Council, the Justice League, and Lex Luthor and a few other EDF officers. My… Small people who live in my house. My children, are clustered around me, drawing reassurance from my presence as I… I try and get back into father-mode after so long in cruel tyrant mode.

    It's… Not as bad as when I got anti-lifed. So there's that.

    I note that in the establishing shots they show the Pax Lex guarding the sky over New York and EDF marines in light armour looking considerably more dangerous than the US army personnel standing guard outside. If the few shots that show his face in any detail are anything to go by I'd say that Lex looks pleased, and… As my God senses readjust to being back in this era I think I'm getting feedback from him.

    It's so weak.

    "Daddy?"

    The youngest -Sarah, her name's Sarah, don't forget it- hasn't really stopped looking at me since we all sat down. She keeps touching me, reassuring herself that I'm still here. I'm not entirely sure why. I… Don't remember her being this clingy.

    I smile down at her beneficently. "Yes, honeybun?"

    "Why were you gone so long?"

    "Didn't Jean explain who the Sheeda are?"

    Sarah nods, stroking my left side with her right hand and looking away.

    "Then you know what I was doing. I was fighting them. And now they're nearly beaten."

    She's not looking at me. That's… Bad..? With Sheeda that's a sign of deference, but with human… Humanish, children, I don't… Think it's a good sign.

    I reach around and pick her up, an action which causes her to jerk her head upwards in surprise as I deposit her in my lap and wrap my… Well, my hands around her.

    "What's the matter?"

    She has to tip her head all of the way back to look up at my face.

    "You feel different, Daddy. We can…" She looks around at her natural brothers and sisters for support, and they're all watching me too. "We can all feel it. Do you need the ponies?"

    "No, not -hah!- right now." I lean down, remember I'm too big for that, then lift her up so that I can kiss her forehead. "I was sent to the future, and I was there for a very long time until I could come back. I'm a little out of sorts, but I'll be fine in a little while."

    I stretch out my arms, and the rest of my brood squeeze in closer so that I can hug them all at once. Except Lynne, who's…

    I look around at where she's sitting on the settee. "Lynne?"

    I feel her mental probe and **I try to arrange my experiences in the far future into some sort of coherent narrative for her perusal.** She frowns very faintly, her eyes becoming a little vacant as she focuses on her internal slideshow.

    "Do you want us to call Artemis?"

    "Yes."

    I blink in surprise. I hadn't.. meant to say that. My children need me around and Lex needs me out of the spotlight. Artemis…

    Needs to talk to the friends she hasn't seen in… Decades, at least.

    Lynne's already offering me the phone, Artemis's home number already ringing. I smile faintly as I take it from her and hold it against my right ear.

    "Thank you."

    It's… Ringing. I still haven't entirely gotten used to American ring tones. Land line ring tones, I-

    "Hello?"

    -mean.

    "Paula, good afternoon. Is-"

    "Grayven?"

    "-Artemis with you?"

    "Yes, she-. Hold on."

    "Hey… Grayven."

    "Not exactly a grand palace, is it?"

    "It's… Home… Apparently."

    "Is it all coming back to you, or..?"

    "Kinda? I remember where stuff is, but… It's.. not… Home, anymore. Y'know?"

    "I thought you said that your apartment made you feel like you stepped out of an Edgar Allan Poe poem?"

    "Ye-ah, but at least the poem was about me. I keep-. Looking around for servants."

    "Only to be expected."

    "I think I've lived like that most of my life now." I hear her exhale. "I took a look at my wardrobe and I don't understand any of it."

    "Do you want a g-goblin? I'm sure the genomorphs can spare one."

    "I don't think Mom's got.. room. Hey…"

    "Yes, it feels weird for me t-. You know what? Mother Box, hush tube."

    "Ping!"

    "OhthankGod."

    I barely have time to toss the phone back to Lynne before Artemis strolls in and-.
    Embrace my Other Half.
    "Oh." She stops. "Is.. this..? Ah, hi!"

    She smiles at the children who are now all staring up at her like a pack of meerkats.

    "My children? Yes."

    "No, I meant-. It felt like… We were back in the future."

    "Apokoliptian technology runs throughout my mountain. It helps me project my power, anchors it… It's not quite like having-. Children, move over and let Artemis sit down."

    There's a shuffling around as they make space for her to my right, and she plonks herself down, not quite leaning against me but being about as close as she can without doing that.

    "It's not quite like having an entire civilisation at my beck and call, but it's the closest thing I've got. You can feel it?"

    "Mm-hm." She nods, looking around. "It's not.. the same, but it's… Familiar. Better."

    "Well, feel free to drop by any time you want."

    On the screen in front of us, Lex climbs up to a podium.

    "So is this where Luthor takes over the world?"

    "No, this is where he makes mildly smug remarks about the fleet's performance relative to the Justice League but otherwise sounds like a public servant. He needs to create-."

    "Capitalise on the good will to get everyone invested in the fleet, so that no one tries to stop him."

    I smile and nod. "Correct. Mass participation defence of the planet."

    "Which we both… Know is better than a small… Group of Highborn. Ah, super… Heroes." She thinks for a moment. "I didn't… Use to think like this."

    "Life changes us." I should probably shift the topic. "So are you going to keep your hair like that, or dye it back to blonde?"
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2020
  6. freakytiki34

    freakytiki34 Getting out there.

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    Makes sense they would be attached to each other after this. No indication of romance, but still a completely unique experience nobody else can really understand. The New God aspects just make it worse, tbh.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    maybe 'I sit on the floor'

    'surprise'

    maybe 'There's a shuffling sound' or 'They're shuffling around'

    maybe 'Use'

    Is the next episode going to be a Paragon focused one?
     
  8. hance1986

    hance1986 Not too sore, are you?

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    I like how they have to relearn operating in the world now.
     
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  9. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Yeah, he really does need the ponies. He needs to be hit with the Elements after so long as a tyrant. Won't happen because he also needed to grow as a character, and so did Artemis, but he needs that reset.
     
  10. m_d

    m_d Fascinated by storytelling

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    I think that according to the index, the next one is back to the Gateway setting in Paragon's far future. So, technically yes, but not necessarily what you had in mind.
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, that's correct.
    Yes.
     
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  12. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I really hope he doesn't dump Best Princess Luna. They just started dating! Hell if anything Luna would probably be the best one to talk to about being exiled from home for a very long time and then having to readjust to coming back.
     
  13. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    Wait, so it's all just been friendship?
     
  14. transhumansage

    transhumansage Not too sore, are you?

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    what did he mean by embrace my other half? did he mean lynn or artemis? btw wheres wally. did artemis and him get togather like in the show?
     
  15. Chirox

    Chirox Getting some practice in, huh?

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    I'm really enjoying this dynamic, and their issues adjusting. So many bad writers have no concept of time, where someone will be imprisoned for TEN THOUSAND YEARS and come out of it pretty much fine.

    I remember being so mad at the second Chronicles of Narnia book as a kid because these supposed legendary warrior kings/queens with a lifetime of skills and triumphs... just revert back to being useless kids immediately.
     
  16. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    I wouldn't call him a tyrant. A usurper maybe, but not a tyrant. He treated his subjects very well from what I can tell.
     
  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

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    As expected, he's having trouble settling back into modern life. And if he's having this much trouble, how's Artemis doing, I wonder.

    Yeah, having that as the lowest bar of 'feeling like shit' must make everything else look dreamy by comparison...

    Like walking indoors into a dark room. It'll take time for the senses to adjust. And everything will be tinted oddly for a while too.

    I know, only a day or two for them... But they're practically New Gods. They can feel the changes wrought upon him...

    Ooof. On the scale of 'hard to answer questions', that's not far above 'where do babies come from'. Though his kids no doubt know quite well about the latter.

    After his time away, he probably feels a bit of a stranger to them. Between nascent New God senses and their own enhanced biology, it must stand out...

    hmm... Think he needs some downtime on Equestria to get his head back into a harmonious state?

    x3 I know she probably thinks Dad hugs are best hugs... :oops: But if even she can feel something wrong, you might need to listen well, G-man...

    Hah! Yeah, ponies can probably solve everything. Though I suspect this might be beyond even the Princess of Friendship...

    x3 Group hugs can make things a little better, I think.

    Bet that's quite the story she's seeing. An ever-changing parade of elvish faces filling the same roles, a war spreading across half the Earth, slaying Starbreaker and Melmoth...

    Impressive that he didn't even think about it for even a second. Just 'Yes'. That's telling.

    Friends who still have rough edges. Rough edges that, for her, have been worn down into a vaguely Conquest-shaped outline...

    Joy of being both a mind-reader and having a fragment of his soul-shape. She probably had the number dialled before she even asked.

    He should be glad he lives out in the wilderness, sort of. Imagine living in, say, Gotham, with all those night sounds...

    Oh, I bet she'll want to have words with him at some point.

    Hoo-boy. She is having trouble settling back in, isn't she? I bet she was going to use a nickname for him there but corrected herself.

    I understand that feeling very well. I've lived in a few different houses and flats over the years, but the one I'm living in now is the one I've spent longest in (over half my life, now.) If I went back to one of those previous places, it just wouldn't feel right. :oops: Yay for oversharing...

    :( <Nods head understandingly>

    Or half-expecting doors to swing open as guards make way for her. That's not going to go away quickly.

    Well, teenage fashion can seem bizarre to an adult. And even if you still look like a teenager, you're an adult...

    They don't take up that much space, surely. Although if their apartment has a policy on pets... Would it count as one?

    Yeah, I foresee them doing this a lot in the weeks to come. They might have to slowly wean themselves off each other...

    ...I suspect she is going to feel more comfortable around him for some time yet... That bit of Godspeech is very, very concerning.

    This the first time she's seeing them? I doubt Batman would go for it, but he really needs to organise a meet & greet with the Team...

    Looks like they've just gained another big sister...

    Like a cool breeze on a hot day, isn't it? Oddly comforting, like petrichor, the scent of dust after rain... :cool: Soothing...

    I expect she'll be stopping by often. At least until the events of the future start to fade into memory.

    Nah, he knows the League has their eye on him right now. If he tries anything... Even with such a powerful fleet, The Alien alone can knock half of them out of the sky... Not to mention what Grayven would do to him. He may hate Superman, but he fears Grayven more.

    After centuries by his side, she's even thinking like him. Right now, he's more her father than Sportsmaster ever was... I wonder if Lynne is feeling jealous...

    Distracting her with something mundane. Good strategy.

    And so we see they're like many veteran warriors, trying to settle into a once-familiar life again after being away. Let's hope there's no PTSD lingering... A trip to Equestria might well help both reconcile their experiences... Hmm, would Artemis be a terrestrial, pegasus, unicorn or alicorn, I wonder?


    Some godspeech:
     
  18. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    They did in the paragon side, but in the renegade side she started dating Tao.

    He may have been more like the ancient definition of a tyrant, that being one who takes power during a time of war or strife to keep some order.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    He's not really that close to the Team, but maybe he'll try to reconnect with them.

    Or a new mother.

    More like a sibling, or romantic partner.

    An Alicorn, given that she's a New God.
     
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  20. transhumansage

    transhumansage Not too sore, are you?

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    are they still dating?
     
  21. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Paragon side, Wally and Artemis are still dating.

    Don't know about renegade Artemis and Tao though.
     
  22. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    Do you think it would be weird for them to get back together? Artemis is far older than Tao now. Actually, how old is Tao right now?
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Experienced.

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    Around the same age Artemis was before she was sent to the future, so maybe 15 or sixteen years old.
     
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  24. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Seems luke Artemis especially got a taste of what it means to be a new god...and found it suits her.

    Actually, I don't ijnow this: if soneone prays to a new god, is there any effect? Can they feel it, grant boons etc.?

    Artemis may enjoy a second career as an assassin/spy/archer goddess.

    Or, hell, with her name she may come to some sort of arrangement with OG Artemis.
     
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  25. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Only Zoat could answer that since he re-wrote and altered most of the new god stuff.
     
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  26. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    AO3 has a good Narnia fanfic called national service. They never really reverted.

    https://archiveofourown.org/works/205664
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2020
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  27. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    Grayven really has conquered Artemis, hasn't he?
     
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  28. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Only her heart.
     
  29. megrisvernin

    megrisvernin Well worn.

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    Definitely on that later point. Frankly Luna is going to have plenty of experience with trying to reconnect with family after a centuries long separation, and dealing with intense culture shock as she tries to readjust to being back. I expect ponies reaction to her behavior had similiar disconnect as Gravyen is haivng with humans versus Sheeda
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2020
  30. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    That link had better go where I expect it to.

    ...it does. ;)

    THE E D F DEPLOYS!
     
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