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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So given my time in the industry, such as it was, I can see Civil war happening the way it did for a few reasons.

    1. Once again, Editorial demands the titles be "Shaken up." I heard this phrase endlessly.

    2. They want a BIG event that'll get everyone's attention. Still reasoning, after all these years of being wrong, that it'll get people flocking back.

    3. They want something they think will be topical OR the writers themselves want to do "Super serious writing guiz." I can tell you that there is NOTHING modern comic writers want more then awards, recognition on a mainstream stage, and some kind of interview on fucking Ellen or something.

    4. Many of the writers don't give a shit, are annoyed this shit is taking time away from what they want to do, and can't agree on much of anything.

    5. Many comic writers have firm dislikes to outright hatred of certain characters and are not above using Editorial mandated events to take a wet shit on them. I can see The Woman lecturing Cap being written by someone who thinks Cap is an overrated, outdated relic. While at the same time using her to take potshots at society as a whole. Recall her rant about how she resented being trapped somewhere while the heroes saved her life, and how she damn sure wanted them to be accountable to her.

    6. Foolish writers who think they can use Editorial's mandate to push for real growth/changes. Spider-man revealing himself publicly for instance. These poor souls are NEVER prepared for Fan-backlash.

    Civil War almost certainly had the same origin as the massive push/shilling of Chick-Thor. Whor as she was unfortuanly dubbed. Someone saw something on the news, they heard someone giving passionate interviews on the subject, and though "Holy shit! If we do a story about that, they'll all coming running!"

    It's also like Civil War 2, with whatever the fuck was supposed to be up with Ms. Marvel, ol' Carol Danvers. I don't know how they expected us to see her as anything BUT a scumbag...yet somehow they did.

    And I can also tell you that most of the comic industry pretty much can't stand long time comic fans, especially when they have to keep crawling back, groveling all the while, to them after all those new fans don't show up, and they've gone out of their way to insult the fuck out of their existing fanbase.

    As I said, Zoat's more than earned my good faith. I don't always agree with what his characters do, or how he's universe is set up. But I have very few complaints with his actual writing and creativity.

    Not to mention, characters like Superman, Thor, The Hulk....a bit part of their draw is how powerful they are.

    I've been a Hulk fan since I was 5 years old. Let me tell you, when they goofy shit up him losing a fight. I get annoyed as all hell. He's the Hulk! Him being a perpetual motion machine of smashing is so much of the fun!

    And yet the best storylines about him deal with the mental issues of Banner. The action is the FUN, but that doesn't mean the action is the entire story. You expect the Hulk to win. You rub your hands with glee over how badly he's going to wreck the stupid villain who was foolish enough to pick a fight with him.

    Sure, a good fight has back and forth, but you don't pick up a Superman book expecting him to get his ass kicked.

    The kindness of Superman, the hope he brings. Of how he works to bring a better world, and inspires those around him.

    Thor is a God for fucks sake. I"m not a big fan of the Donald Blake stuff, but I adore the Thor storylines that are like the mythological tales of Old. Thor's stories should be epics on a godly scale. I recall one where he crafted objects much like his mythological ones, the belt, the gloves, and utterly stomped Thanos. Which I enjoyed, because I absolutely detest Thanos and avoid anything he is in.

    I really don't get how people groan about OL fighting, when OL fighting is not the storyline. OL Uplifting Earth, and bettering the galaxy, IS the storyline.

    And I say this as someone who, honest to god, finds OL to be too weak for what he is. The fact that magic shits on him so hard annoys the fuck out of me.

    I'm STILL pissed about him getting curbstomped by the Pigeon of war. But that's me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2021
  2. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    Or being optioned for a Netflix series. There are a lot of indie books these days that just feel like they're pitches for a Netflix series. They usually end up cancelled after a few issues, but there are plenty you can read issue #1 of and go, "yep, this feels like a Netflix series I'm never going to notice or watch."
     
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  3. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    This. So much this.

    I'm significantly less jaded. I don't really read comic books, and I lost interest in MCU. So there's nothing specific about the setting that bothers me. I don't have a deep-seated predisposition for how the universe is supposed to function by comparison to other DC works. And I don't think I would have taken the characters in the direction that Zoat took them in if I had been writing it, but given the context I don't have any particular reason to complain about their decisions.

    But I don't have to have seen the dark side of comic book writing to agree that Zoat has earned a fair measure of trust.

    I tend to feel like a lot of complaints about With This Ring are people who were looking for a different kind of story. As Maxx said, superhero stories aren't about winning or losing. It's not a spoiler to assume that the heroes are going to win in the end in pretty much any story -- that's just how storytelling works. Winning or losing is just a vehicle for the story, not the story itself. The story is about how the characters act before and after the fight.

    And With This Ring does that well. Each character builds upon their history. Things build upon other things that have been established. Ideas might be introduced arbitrarily but they're given a proper exploration and their effects aren't arbitrary. They're not discarded arbitrarily (though they might be forgotten about if they're not sufficiently significant) and... well, if it is done for metanarrative purposes to undo something the author isn't satisfied with, it's still sensibly worked into the story instead of crudely cudgeled in.
     
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  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The murder of Nabu and the genocide of the Citadelians may count.

    Paul was disturbed when he thought he killed Clayface, so now he may be disturbed with his murdering of the other two.

    Yeah they may have deserved it, but OL may have now lost his enlightenment and because of that he may feel like he used to do pre enlightenment.

    Or he may think in a different way due to losing his memories.

    We'll just have to wait and see.

    To be fair said pigeon was himself an extremely powerful magical being, who had access to godlike magical power, magic which Paul had little experience with or knowledge of, as well as potentially spending a long time studying Paul so he can defeat him, while Paul may have known very little about him, and having some of his resources cut off, like making his lantern stop working.

    I also didn't like it when he lost, but I can see why Karrien was able to beat him.
     
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  5. jonasquinn

    jonasquinn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The issue with that is that OL’s decision to do those things was based on logic not just his emotions at the time and most people agree with him, you ask anyone in Vega and they’ll say he did the right thing and even most of the League agrees he was right to do what he did with Fate even if they don’t like how he went about doing it
     
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  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    There was some emotion involved, like him hating what Nabu did to his friend and what the Citadelians did.

    Also even if he made them due to a logical reason, he may still feel like crap now.

    People can make perfectly logical decisions and still hate themselves for doing them, even if others think everything they did is acceptable.
     
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  7. Threadmarks: Meanwhile, in Universe 534834 (part 5)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Earth 534834

    20th November 1992
    11:36 GMT -5


    Rogue looks my face over as I land, then spares a perfunctory glance at Mr. LeBeau.

    "Ah don’t see no black eyes." She takes a step closer and prods me experimentally in the chest a few times. "Bruises not show up yet?"

    "Hey, cher." Mr. LeBeau smile lecherously at her. "Us boys just be civil-like."

    I nod. "And.. I.. need to apologise."

    I take the impact beam ring out of subspace and hold it out. She actually starts, eyes widening as-.

    "No! No, no." She glances aside, taking a relieved breath. "I mean, I'm not against the idea at some point in the future-."

    "Man, you got so little game you give game to e'ryone else." Mr. LeBeau plucks the ring off my hand and holds it closer to Rogue's face, just in front of her eyes. "Lantern got dis here from Mandarin. Thinks it could help you with your problem."

    "Mandarin?" She frowns, puzzled. "You cut off a fellah's finger, then asked him for help?"

    "No, that's what I'm apologising for. I've had the ring for months; I just didn't know what it did and didn't want to risk experimenting in case it was booby trapped. But it turns out that according to a man who studied it extensively, it creates force fields and it's pretty much plug and play."

    She doesn't really react-.

    "Sorry, that doesn't exist yet. You just put it on your finger and it works." I shrug. "It probably takes a while to master, but it's the best-."

    "Y'all mean it-. I can wear it and-. Touch things?"

    "You-. You'll probably have to work at that level of control. But, yes."

    "And it ain't trapped? You're-you're real sure-?"

    I raise my right hand and jab my index finger through the ring. Unlike with the power ring that has been my ever-present companion since I arrived on this Earth, there's no glow or synthetic voice in my head telling me what's happening. But there's definitely something-.

    I hold up my right hand, palm facing her, and picture a plane of force…

    Something that looks like transparent gel extrudes from a space just in front of the ring and awkwardly expands to fill the space I'm picturing. I press my left hand against it, but it feels solidly fixed in space. Rogue taps the far side… No transmission of force, but I think this demonstrates the principle well enough.

    "Dat ain't for you." Mr. LeBeau pulls the ring off my finger, causing the force barrier to fade and vanish in less than a second as he offers it to Rogue. "You wan' dis, cher?"

    "You darn tootin'-" She snatches it out of his hand with her right thumb and forefinger and slides it onto her left index finger. "-ah do."

    She looks at it for a moment, flexing her hand.

    "So how's this thing work?"

    "Just picture in your head an image of the force you want to exert, and it should appear."

    "Sounds… Easy, but…"

    A bubble forms around her body. It's about five centimetres thick and visible only as it bends light.

    "This…" She sighs. "This ain't what ah had in mind."

    She goes to put her left hand on my chest, and her own shield bubble stops her.

    "Can you feel-?" She shakes her head. "Okay, well, try…" I extend my environmental shield to her. "Try matching the outline of that."

    "Ah.. ah dunno-."

    Her shield halves its diameter.

    "Huh?"

    "The ring I use has an AI and is designed to be as easy to use as possible. That ring's a little harder."

    "You get it, cher." Mr. LeBeau smiles encouragingly. "Jus' gotta keep workin' at it."

    She focuses, the bubble shrinking further and further until I can't see it under the glow of my environmental shield. So I deactivate it and take a step back…

    It's still barely visible.

    "Looks good, cher. So how's about you try touch something?"

    She hesitantly pokes him in the left cheek, then shakes her head.

    "Ah still ain't feelin' it."

    "Remember, even if it can't literally transmit force, you should be able to instruct it to mirror the pressures on the external surface-."

    She pulls her hand back, her eyes widening.

    "I felt that."

    Mr. LeBeau moves his face towards her hand. "Was it good for you?"

    She somewhat clumsily pats the side of his face with her palm.

    "I-I can feel it."

    I smile. "Excellent. Now, there's a couple of th-"

    She grabs me by the jacket and pulls me into a clinch, kissing me hard on the lips.

    "-mph?"

    It.. doesn't feel quite.. natural, there's a lack of friction, but both pressure and temperature are conveyed-.

    "Hey, how come he get a kiss? You got one for me?"

    Rogue releases me, her eyes wide and her breaths panting.

    Um.

    Um.

    "Thank you? Um, in the interests of full disclosure, the former-."

    "Heh." Rogue looks down, then back up at me. "You don't got a lotta experience talkin' to girls, do you sugar?"

    I shake my head. "No, next to none. In the context of romantic intimacy."

    Mr. LeBeau snorts. "I believe dat."

    "The-the last user of that ring ended up with green skin. We don't know why. And he's probably going to try and get it back at some point."

    "Green skin, huh? You like green girls?"

    "Um. It's a non-issue. We also don't know what powers the ring, how it recharges or how it will respond to constant use. It's probably worth having Doctor McCoy have a look at it and see if he can make sense of it to make sure that it will keep working, and… Well, there are probably other people in your position, so it would be helpful if we could make more. But it's yours, so, enjoy it."

    "So how come you never lend her your ring?"

    "Remmy-."

    "The last person who wore that ring turned green. The last person who wore this ring-" I point to it. "-spent a billion years in an isolated cave, too powerful to die and too paranoid to move."

    "Ah. Dat go' happen to you?"

    "I certainly hope not. Mister LeBeau, now that my 'unfair' advantage has been neutralised, would you say that we are -to use the vernacular- 'cool'?"

    He nods. "Guess there's only so many times you can shoot yourself in the foot. Jus' don't-."

    I completely ignore everything else he says and focus on Rogue.

    "Rogue, you are a paragon of courage, resilience and beauty, in whose presence I consider myself fortunate to dwell. I would like it very much if you would accompany me to dinner tomorrow evening."

    "Think I got a hole in my schedule, sugar. But ah wanna test this ring out some more right now."
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2021
  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'looks my'

    He's not wrong.

    Well an alternate of him nearly choked a woman to death and is now dating her.

    'extensively, it creates'

    If this isn't just his way of talking then it should be 'gets'

    'breath'

    Nope.

    Well who wouldn't like her.

    Damn, he's smooth.

    Will the next two chapters of this episode be renegade focused.

    Now the amnesia episode.

    What's it called?

    For some reason I can't help but think of it as 'Days of our Lanterns', due to amnesia and soap operas being a common thing.
     
  9. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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  10. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm sorry, but now all I can hear is Applejack...

    Huh. That wasn't bad actually. Since when did our boy got game?
     
  11. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    "Test the ring out more" means more kissing, doesn't it

    He doesn't. This Paul is obviously a deep cover Skrull, that's why the question about green girls is awkward for him.
     
  12. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Hmm. I wonder if this Paul has any interest in assimilating dangerous symbiotes like Venom’s siblings. With a bit of training I bet he could convince the slimy bugger to avoid covering his head and allow for clothing to be worn over it for particular missions.
     
  13. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Heh. One guess what she thinks they've been up to... To be fair, it's a natural expectation given the way they were acting when she saw them earlier that morning...

    I bet she's extra confused now...

    Hello! Nice, Xaul. Those smooth English moves (and ability to safely touch her) giving you an edge over Mr scruffy Cajun there...

    Easy enough to assume that, yes. He never mentioned that he took the ring the finger was wearing, after all.

    Dude, SCSI is barely a thing that year. USB is another three or four minimum, and limited to heavier-duty gear... Also, she's not a tech-spod like you or Beast. It's all Greek to her.

    Amazed she didn't snatch it out of Gambit's hands there and then. But I bet that hope is touched by doubt, too...

    Tony did give it a proper once-over, didn't he? That would be irresponsible to just send them on their way without one... And yet entirely in character for 90's Tony Stark...

    A nice demonstration, but you do have kind of an advantage here, working with your Power Ring... Although the Ten Rings do seem to have their own sort of intelligence at times. Some system that interprets the wearer's mental commands into action...

    Now, to see if she can use it as easily as he did.

    Boy, she really wanted this. Understandable really, though. Now, to get it working for her...

    Oh, sure, you make it sound so simple, Xaul.

    Ooh, subtle. Does it include mittens? :p

    She's got a point. But well done for a first try. I'm sure she'll improve.

    Evidently the ring works a lot more instinctively than Xaul's, it seems... She didn't even appear to consciously command it there.

    And yet the Mandarin made it looks so easy. Admittedly, he's had years of practice. She's had it all if a minute, and improving surprisingly well.

    Good thing she wears skintight clothing already. Unless the Impact Ring sheathes each hair and piece of cloth individually (which it's probably capable of, to be fair) she might end up a little flattened. And yes, I mean her hair. And maybe her jacket...

    Ah, Gambit, still thinking you have a chance...

    Just a matter of adjustment, methinks. On the upside, not feeling anything might make fights a bit easier for her, since she tends to end up tanking enemy attacks...

    There we go! Now, if she can learn to adjust it in combat, whether as personal defence or team-friendly force-walls, she just got a big force-multiplier.

    No doubt thinking 'ugh, you horndog...'

    Oh, this is going to be fun...

    Ooh, forcefield against forcefield. How naughty.

    Don't push your luck, scruffy.

    ...Suddenly, I'm glad Gambit is there to stop things.. getting out of hand. x3

    :oops: And then you go and flub the pickup. A "Whaw." Or "Mlrb?" would have been far more suitable.

    Hey, he's ben busy adjusting to a superhero life...

    The Green skin was probably something induced by one of the other rings. At least one of them could manipulate biology, surely.

    Eminently sensible. Though he may want to coordinate with Stark on it. The Iron Man armours probably have better sensor setups...

    It is a fair question... Admittedly, it has a good answer too.

    Of course, he doesn't know that this isn't Larfleeze's own ring. Wonder if he'll ever manage to earn the propriety unlock?

    Quit talking, Remy. All you had to say was "We cool..."

    Ah, turning up the manners. And they thought he had no game?

    As long as you keep your clothes on, I expect it'll be fine. Or are we going to need a chaperone for you two now?

    Well, that worked out well. I almost hope to see them again in future, sooner rather than later, if only to see how the rest of the team reacts to Rogue's new-found touchy-feelyness. And back to Paragon tomorrow, eh? Let's see the damage...
     
  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    And other versions of him.

    We all know what you meant you little pervert.:D

    Or renegade.
     
  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    It is.
    He's paying close attention to every one.
     
  16. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    i seriously hope the mandarin cant influence her remotely.
     
  17. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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    I think it's funny that she tested out the new ring's safety by poking Gambit. Really shows which of the two she actually cares about. XD
     
  18. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The hyperlink just goes to a blank page. For me at least.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Just look for Ogress on the Marvel Animated Universe wiki.
     
  20. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Weird. It's supposed to go to a normal internet page. Anyone else?
     
  21. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Works fine for me.
     
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  22. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    All fine on my end.
     
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  23. LZB1285

    LZB1285 Getting sticky.

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    I got a blank page the first time, the page loaded the second time. Could be one of a multitude of glitches.
     
  24. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    A symbiote would be more useful non assimilated.

    Assimilated, it's a construct, so any attack that can punch through a construct would go right through the symbiotic armor too.

    Symbiotes can also be enhanced- like with serums like the Goblin Serum, or cybernetics, such as the Extremis virus.
     
  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    It's been a while since I watched Spiderman, but the only symbiotes I remember from it are Venom and Carnage. Were there others?
     
  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    A lot more. You'll probably need to look through the Marvel wiki to look them up.
     
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  27. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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  28. Dan O'von

    Dan O'von Not too sore, are you?

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    Those were the two with the most screentime. They eventually introduced a few others. Scream, Lasher, Agony, Riot and Phage are basically extracted son-samples of Venom created by a group of rich jackoffs trying to control the future after it goes full apocalypse.

    There's a few spin offs of those but the other real big one is Antivenom who was created when Eddie Brock (the OG Venom host) got inverted by Mr. Negative. Antivenom is basically Venom but sane, can heal and really really mess up other Symbiotes.

    Also the official name for the Symbiote species is Klyntar. Fun Fact: in Marvel canon, Grendal and his mother of Beowulf fame were both Symbiotes
     
  29. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    ... that’s really not a flattering she hulk on the wiki. She looks thin and emaciated
    Alternatives:
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  30. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    That's a bad Zoat *Sprays with water* Bad, bad Zoat.
     
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