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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    off -> on
    Islands are off the coast, beaches are on it or along it - or maybe rewrite to "sand on a coastal beach of Themyscira"
     
  2. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    I'd think the Red at least would be against it as Anti-life dulls/suppresses emotions also many Animals have their own societies and Darkseid demands all submit utterly to him and be happy to be crushed under his heel.
     
  3. Silvercrystal

    Silvercrystal That’s no Moon, It’s a Moderator! Moderator

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    Just a friendly reminder that this isn’t the rants thread.
    So play nicely with each-other.
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ah, yes. John isn't on Themyscira. He's on Reformation Island, which is a smaller island off the coast of Themyscira. That's why he notes that it won't protect the whole of Themyscira.
     
  5. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Thanks for clarifying that.
     
  6. crazygrox

    crazygrox Versed in the lewd.

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    So the new god tech helmet is bad. And Paul should probably notice that soon.

    I'm not sure why he's not making the connection.
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He's perfectly aware that it's a bad sign. He just doesn't have a dehatting machine on hand to fix it.
     
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  8. crazygrox

    crazygrox Versed in the lewd.

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    This just sparked a thought.

    The hats are probably meant to extend Darkseid's new god powers over their wearers more easily.
    If they study the things they may be able to make an equivalent which can work for Scot Free, which may make it easier for him to help more wearers resist anti-life.
     
  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well you have survived a lot of horrible things.
     
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  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He sometimes doesn't even trust himself.

    Amon did show resistance, but that still ended with him going into a come.
     
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  11. Windona

    Windona Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

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    Godlike blessings/powers versus Anti Life. Well, we're seeing Zauriel struggling and being cut off from hearing Heaven, so there's potential that Adom, Isis, and Osiris might at minimum be cut off from any godly wisdom and be struggling.
     
  12. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Why isn't Paul and co trying to find Mannheim? Stopping him would stop the Anti-Life effect right?
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They already tried it and he beat them.

    They can't beat him by themselves, but they can hopefully help others and gain allies to help them fight.
     
  14. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Usually "northwest"

    Semicolon instead of comma.
     
  15. Threadmarks: Pete Tong (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    31st December 2012
    21:23 GMT +2


    Kahndaq's border is not as well defined as it used to be.

    The Sheeda were here for resources, not to fight duels against our greatest warriors unless there was a strategic psychological advantage in doing so. With Adom, Adrianna and Amon all perfectly capable of detecting them regardless of their stealth abilities, they prioritised softer targets. Their neighbours. Refugees fled for safety, the neighbouring nations collapsed, and while some have achieved a degree of self-governance it's pretty clear that they're taking their leads from Adom.

    Point is, between the security he brings and the regreening that Adrianna brings, everyone around here likes him.

    Except the giant mutant insectoids currently fighting the Kahndaqi army. They're about fifty metres tall each, and tough enough that small arms are doing nothing to their exoskeletons.

    "I feel the Power of Atum. He is shielding them with his spirit."

    "Okay." I generate railgun constructs and open fire, green chitin exploding wherever my shots hit home. I get a brief cheer from the soldiers I just relieved before they jog off to the next crisis point. "Can-?"

    "Insectoids. Highfather told me about them. Apokolips once used them to invade New Genesis."

    I target the legs of one about to level an apartment block, blood erupting from the new holes in its left knee a moment later. It collapses sideways into the street with an ear-piercing screech, and I take a moment to shoot out its other leg as well.

    "Get down there, see if you can interrupt their control. I'd rather they have free will than be slaves of the Anti-Life."

    "They're creatures of Anti-Life. It's an intrinsic part of their existence."

    "Then they die, but at least they die free."

    Not a statement I'd believe if I was less secure in my own post-mortem arrangements, but it sounds uplifting. And it should-.

    "I know you don't believe that." "But I do."

    "Alright, but-."

    And he's gone, flying towards the giant who is weakly trying to pull itself down the street towards the people firing anti-tank rockets at its head.

    "Zauriel, can you fly under your own power?"

    He spreads his wings, weakly flapping to rise off my construct. "I will suffice. I will put these benighted beasts out of their misery."

    He swoops off, heading north towards Cairo at speed, echoes of his song reaching us a few moments later.

    "Good. Doctor-?"

    He radiates gold-white for a moment, then a wave of similarly-coloured energy shooting across the landscape.

    "Doctor?"

    "There. That will fortify Teth Adom's efforts. I am-." He stumbles, and I have to use constructs to prop him up. "I am afraid thet… My power is being disrupted by this… Mannheim's work."

    "Is the white light-?"

    "No. If he were thet strong-."

    I nod. "We wouldn't be talking. But I don't understand why I'm not being affected."

    "Your soul is unnatural and made for the most part of a universal force. I think thet Mannheim is using the Earth's magic to spread the Anti-Life. To effect you, he would hev to spread it in person."

    I nod, taking a few more shots with my railguns. "Good to know."

    "Thet is what I think based on what I know now. I could be wrong."

    "I'll bear that in mind."

    I fly us upwards, railguns continuing to fire until every insectoid in Beni Suef has fallen to the ground. I can see squads armed with rockets providing cover for demolition teams, who run closer in order to plant shaped charges on the weak points of their carapaces in order to finish them off.

    "Orange Lantern to Teth Adom." No, no, I doubt that he's got a phone on him or the time to answer one if he did. "Orange Lantern to Falil."

    Who might well not have time to answer, and who might well be dead at this point, but is probably-.

    "Orange Lantern? What-? What is going on? We-?"

    "Apokolips is using a proxy to attack Earth. Everyone's getting low-level Anti-Life infection. Don't know where the insects are coming from."

    I get a clear look at Shiruta, where tanks and attack planes are firing on the assaulting insects. Retarget railguns and fire.

    "Where's Adom?"

    "In his temple. It is-. It is taking all that he has-"

    A highly localised lightning storm forms around an insectoid that had penetrated far into the city, the air and water inside briefly turning to plasma. It dissipates a moment later, the insectoid's head and upper shoulders having been entirely vaporised.

    Nice to see that Adrianna's getting on so well with the Amulet of Isis. Didn't know it could do plasma.

    "-to shield the rest of us. I was-. We were all affected when it first-. First happened. I don't know how Osiris survived-."

    A monster insect emerges from the ocean and receives a craniotomy for its efforts as jets scream by.

    "Can he keep it up?"

    "He… Said that he could. He has not faltered since, and does not appear to have weakened."

    "And Osiris?"

    "His power comes from.. Adom. He-."

    "Understood."

    So Adrianna is pulling solo duty here. Explains why the attack is still going on. No disrespect intended, but she's nothing like as aggressive as her husband and brother and her powers don't increase her strength or resilience all that much. And she'll have to stay to keep the country safe. So what can I-?

    "Can Adom speak, or does he need to focus completely?"

    "He can speak. His is monitoring our armed forces at the moment. Do you need to speak with him?"

    "I need to see if he can tutor Captain Marvel to do what he's doing. I think that the person doing this is in America. If we can free the rest of the country-."

    "I will put you through at once."
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2022
  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Nice trick.

    "Highfather"

    "It's an"

    "around an"

    He's out of commission.
     
  18. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    They're.
     
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  19. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Their -> There
     
  20. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    If they do it country by country couldn't their Avatars help? Uncle Sam etc? Or the old gods of their countries?

    The Spear would also work, if they can get hold of it, but I don't know anyone off the top of my head with enough power to pull this off globally.
     
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  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  22. Signaller

    Signaller Know what you're doing yet?

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    How's the vastly depowered Zeus managing?
     
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  23. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    And coming back to this for a moment, as my brain slowly turns -

    It's worth remembering what happened in the DCAU when Mannheim was no longer of use to Darkseid.

    "You promised you'd make me a king!"
    "And so you are. King of Fools."
     
  24. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    So, to some degree, Kahndaq is forming into the heart of a new empire in north-eastern Africa and the Levant. Bet there's a few ruffled feathers in neighbouring regions. Still, with a trio of divinely-empowered leaders, the strongest of whom can match Superman, there's not a lot they can do besides rattle their sabers.

    And I'm suddenly reminded of the Inhumanoids. Pity they put their licensed comics out from Marvel...

    So, the people are mostly safe, as long as Adom isn't interrupted. Bet once the Dark Side realise that, they'll focus on him. Hence the kaiju movie.

    Careful work. If it had fallen the wrong way, it could have brought the buildings down anyway.

    Oh? Aren't you an expert in Freedom? Imagine the challenge in freeing them.

    Whatever it takes to get him to do something, I suppose.

    Still, at least he's going to do it. After all, innocents lives are at risk. And he's got the ability to protect them...

    Heh. defending one of the peoples of the Book, even if it isn't quite the same faith. Good on you.

    An attempt to ward off the Anti-Life? I doubt it'll be that easy.

    So he can't go all out, having to protect himself from the infection, and the wide-scale disruptions to the Spectrum...

    ...He'd have already won. And the giant monsters wouldn't be here.

    In other words, OL's soul doesn't have the same coding back-doors normal human souls do. Where Doctor Balewa's is protected by a firewall of White Light, OL's doing it by having a different operating system entirely.

    Still, it's as good a reason as any. One of those things that, if you question it, it might stop working.

    And now I'm having visions of Epic Tyranid Bio-Titans versus Imperial Guardsmen in Close Assaults. And it is awesome. :D Humanity doing work.

    'Falil' being Adom's current chief of staff, eh? The man most likely to know what's going on and where help is needed in the region.

    Neatly summarised. At least he's in the know on the important stuff, hopefully.

    Which means it's the insect-kaiju's primary target, if they realise. These things might not be smart enough to understand strategy, after all...

    That's technically what Lightning is, after all. Short-lived hyper-ionised air. That's what makes the kaboom: the plasma exploding outwards. :confused: Nature is scary.

    :eek: Shit, did Sobek actually happen? Does he need healing pronto? He's also had previous exposure to Anti-Life, which will have left scars on his psyche this round would flow through like canals...

    With that much determination, he'd be terrifying with a ring of Will...

    So, temporarily depowered. I can't remember if he's Dannered, but it leaves him at risk anyway...

    OL, Adom is not going to be able to help you kick Dark Bruno's ass. Not while his country, his people are in danger.

    Not sure it'll work that well. Billy won't have nearly the same connection to America that Adom has to Kahndaq, so his protection is likely to be weaker, if he can even manage it. Never mind that the effect is strongest there.

    Man, where's a few giant mechs when you need them? Still, at least Adom is holding out against the infection, and protecting his people from it. Something other countries are probably wishing they had right now. But that means he won't be able to join the fight elsewhere. Still, if they can work out a way for local gods to ward people against the Anti-Life, this won't be a wasted trip.
     
  25. crazygrox

    crazygrox Versed in the lewd.

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    It might be possible to free up Adrianna if he was willing to pass out a ton of advanced weaponry on a temporary basis again, or make use of his hypothetical ability to temporarily recruit orange lanterns for the duration of an emergency.
    But that raises questions of whether it's really worthwhile to do so, whether she'd want to come, and whether they really need her.
     
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  26. PDV

    PDV Revelation That Uncertainty Is Itself An Answer

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    This one should be 'affected'.

    This one, on the other hand, is god-tier affect/effect trolling.
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Thank you? I don't understand, do I need to correct it?
     
  28. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    If he's smart? Working the other gods about how this sort of thing never happened on his watch.

    Though that does bring the question of why LePaul hasn't tried to contact Hephestus.
     
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  29. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    ‘hit’
    ‘an’
    ‘beasts out of’
    This is a troll because it should be ‘affect’, but Balewa’s accent means it could be correct. If it is his accent, though, that should probably be ‘hev’.
     
  30. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    I believe the troll is actually because it could be both, affect and effect, and it would be correct. It depends on what the speaker was trying to convey, I think.

    As a slightly less amateur grammar nazi, I approve of the troll. But other people, those that don't understand or don't read the comments, might suggest corrections in ignorance.
     
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