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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  2. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Damn, now I'm feeling for the guy.
     
  3. Massgamer

    Massgamer Not too sore, are you?

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    So some super old minion who's sudden goal reappears and he feels compelled to complete it?
     
  4. Buggy123

    Buggy123 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    On one hand yeah he's fairly sympathetic, but on the other I feel like he probably shouldn't have gone with the "immediately take everyone nearby as hostages" route.

    I mean, sure, its probably out of desperation. But still.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
  5. Travisplo

    Travisplo Dapper Necromonsieur, a fine undead gentleman

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    y direction. Is the telepathy direction-restricted? **TELL ME WHERE IT-!**
     
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  6. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Wait. Someone with superpowers and a stupid name suddenly appears.

    ...I'll return it to you just as soon as the current user has disconnected themselves."

    Which has likely happened at some point...

    Is the telepathy direction-restricted?

    This is getting good... Or bad... We'll see soon enough, I suspect.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
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  7. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Huuuuuh. He can't live like that? Interesting implications...
     
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  8. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Why? Because he was happy with a librarian job until Oh El triggered some mental command?
     
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  9. Stsword

    Stsword I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Unless this is suddenly a Dr Who crossover, the Master in question was Robbie Reed's geneticist mook maker persona.

    So this guy was probably decanted out of a tube and programmed for loyalty.

    Well it did in the comics anyway, the guy got a transformation that made Superman look like someone who wasn't trying hard enough.

    Kind of a weird restriction for Zoat to add to it though.

    Superheroing is a dangerous occupation, people have used it and then not been alive to dial back in the comics.
     
  10. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Which explains the hinky nature of his 'desire network' as OL put it...


    The Dial likely has a failsafe for that condition... Like an Idle-out condition on the part of the user, or a life-sign tracker...
     
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  11. GamingPizza1998

    GamingPizza1998 Verified Pizza

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    Next Chapter
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Versed in the lewd.

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    Reads a bit odd, "developed in" might work better.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Makes sense to me.
     
  14. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    That's because you have English as a first language.
     
  15. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    That said - couldn’t talking as a soul have more meaning? EG if he agrees to something in his soul form, it gets written into his soul, not his mind. So since he agreed to be more careful when talking to smiley (remember he was specifically trying to get verbal admission), he might be sort of soul-controlled? More importantly, they were already in a brainwashing machine, so him saying something might lock down the soul patterns thinking it or something.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
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  16. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Why? All his abilities are literally based off of greed. If he was a determinator he would be a green lantern. DETERMINATION is essentially willpower. His shield being made of WANT! Is close enough. As for his 3 forms we have: para-Paul, snake-Paul, and gray-Paul all of which are fairly generic, with full snake being confirmed in future. Gray-Paul already has discarded avarice for fear, which also gets powered by courage/ understanding one’s own fear and overcoming it as explained when he fought yellow ALT! Guy Gardner. He is a britishized Shounen-hero in an American world and it all comes together so well.
    Also, shounen heroes die all the time without it truly sticking. Take for example Goku in Dragon Ball Z.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
  17. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey Not too sore, are you?

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    With a non-standard neural architecture, this guy may not be totally sane, legally speaking.
     
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  18. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Which is why he would have discarded his greed based abilities in season 2.

    Besides, the DETERMINATION! Shield has nothing to do with actual shields.

    "I broke your back!" "I'm DETERMINED!"

    "There is a giant hole in your chest!" "You'll never make me give up!"
     
  19. Navi-Hank

    Navi-Hank An engine fuled by spite

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    Well I'm not
     
  20. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Your
    “You can’t hear. You can’t see. You can’t breathe. Your body is now literally dust.”

    ”WANT!”
    Epic robot /Mecha body transformation / upload sequence!
    I’d say that’s a preety strong DETERMINATION! shield. At that point Excalibris was probably in the cliche anime “Just DIE already!” Mode.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2019
  21. reddraggone9

    reddraggone9 Getting some practice in, huh?

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    There are a few appearances listed here that I didn't already know about.
     
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  22. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

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    Are you implying some linguistic insanity on the part of us native English speakers? Just because we park on driveways and drive on parkways doesn't make us nuts you know. Or the whole "i before e except when it's not" thing. Or the rest of our spelling rules that all have exceptions for that matter. Or the fact that "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo." is a grammatically correct sentence.....

    Actually, you know what? Native English speakers might be just a little crazy now that I'm thinking about it. Our language certainly is.
     
  23. PDV

    PDV The Revelation That Uncertainty is Itself a Answer

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    You can't reverse stupidity and automatically get intelligence. Evil people telling you X doesn't mean that X is false. You'll note that he isn't assuming that transitioning is definitely bad; he's re-evaluating his previous assumption that it was definitely harmless, and since the people most likely to be harmed would be the ones he cares the most about, he's playing it safe until he can get better data.

    Where do I find those?
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Possible, but would you want to?
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  25. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    Obliviated fan and Bramble Thorn like this.
  26. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    When you're an actively progressive person, pushing complex changes, magical and technological advances, and you are faced with an actively regressive person, who flat out tells you that he wants you to slow your shit down, because he doesn't like that. Who tries to manipulate you into a position of serving him in exchange for you being restored to life and the angelic hounds called off. I'd say that he's deliberately trying to sow doubt to sabotage your actions.

    Considering the Smiley faced runes that the angels didn't know a thing about....Boss Smiley is clearly shady as fuck, and I'd say believing anything he had to say marks you out as gullible as hell.

    Though I suppose that it's possible that the Boss Smiley that OL met was simply a manifestation of OL's fears that he might be doing damage.

    I also admit that I don't actually see any positives, or negatives, as of yet with OL's behavior. It's just annoying. His ring is already so pitifully weak, requiring supported from half a dozen other pieces of tech, that him backing off even more just irks me.

    Pfft....to someone filled with the power of DETERMINATION! Such wounds barely qualify as simple flesh wounds.
     
  27. Greckle

    Greckle Making the rounds.

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    Question: Big fan of the story and I plan on continuing reading but the conversations OL was having about Mr. Hamill remind me so much of old arguments between me and my mother that I'd just rather skip them. It's been several updates since and I see in the most recent update there's no mention of him. Am I good to keep reading for now? Was that resolved or should I wait until Z-E-R-O is over?
     
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  28. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Sort of - as of 2 updates ago Mr Hamill is out of the story for now being looked after by Robin while OL is off to investigate the origin of the HERO dial. While Mr. Hamill was arrested leading to a conversation 3 updates ago about legal matters, then released, the latest few updates seem to be fine on that front leading to actual OL superhero action. It should be fine though it might come back up.
     
  29. Greckle

    Greckle Making the rounds.

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    Thank you kindly, and thank you for the brief summary! Both are very appreciated.
     
  30. Threadmarks: Z-E-R-O (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    2nd January
    15:18 GMT -7


    **Grgrlulgrlur.**

    The Scintillating Psionist lists in the air for a moment, and everyone it had been holding in thrall legs it. Then its telekinetic field starts fluctuat-shield!

    My orange barrier expands, forming a dish-shape to protect the town as the telekinetic barrier leaps outward! My barrier is shoved away, the upper third where the force was concentrated cracking and break-.

    "Ah!"

    Part of the telekinetic blast went into the library! Ms Birchall dived to the side in an impressive display of athleticism for someone her age, but the floor is collapsing beneath her-.

    **Kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh.**

    Another telekinetic surge, this one grabbing objects at random. I watch two cars get squeezed to wreckage-.

    Ring, read patterns of activation and improve the suppression system!

    Compliance.

    **Uhhhhhhhh.**

    There's a momentary increase of the force on my armour, but the kinetic shield soaks it. Then the telekinetic barrier around the Scintillating Psionist fails completely, and the brain drops-.

    Flight aura!

    I catch it before it can splatter against the ground, another construct extending into the building and propping up the floor Ms Birchall is standing on. She nearly trips as it falls an inch onto my supports, but then steadies herself-.

    "His dial!"

    Because there's an off-switch, hopefully.

    "Where is it?"

    "You didn't-?!" She turns around, frantically searching the wreckage in the library for any sign of a dial.

    I raise my hands, dismissing all constructs except the ones keeping the Scintillating Psionist off the ground and unconscious before sending out filaments to grab the rubble and pile it neatly in the street. Or as neatly as possible, at any rate. No, no… I really hope that wasn't it, as if it was then it's been crushed-.

    "There! There!"

    Ms Birchall points frantically at a small, dull grey object. I grab it with a construct and pull it up as I float towards her.

    "How do I deactivate it?"

    "Do you know what he dialled?"

    Ah… "Four six seven seven six seven."

    She shakes her head. "Horror. No wonder he wouldn't listen." She takes the dial from my construct and holds it out to me. "He has to dial it in reverse."

    I glance at the Scintillating Psionist. "He doesn't have hands. Is there another way?"

    "These versions don't have the power to maintain the transformation indefinitely. Can you keep him unconscious for an hour?"

    Theoretically, yes, but long term neural suppression can do all sorts of unpleasant things to a person. "I'd rather avoid it."

    "It doesn't have to be voluntary. If you can just press it up against him, that should work."

    "His external surface is part of his brain."

    "Injuries disappear when we change back."

    "How long does turning back take?"

    "A few seconds."

    Right. I-.

    **Mrugh-ugh?**

    The telekinetic shield momentarily re-establishes itself, breaking the link to my flight aura. Then it disappears again, the Scintillating Psionist falling towards the ground! Aura back o-!

    There's a pulse of telekinetic force, sending the unconscious brain upward into the sky! Shit, okay, that… Cable doesn't appear to be plugged into anything vital. I fly up until I'm alongside him, hold the dial as close to him as I can and then yankanddial!

    The telekinetic surge stops almost immediately, so I extend a flight aura around everything but the end of the cable. Seven-! Fuck, the rotary dial! I can't make it go back to neutral faster! Neural activity… I don't know enough to monitor him effectively, but I don't think he's dying. Six, and a painful wait. Seven. Seven. Some of the cables are pulsing worryingly. I hate not understanding-. Six. I… Think he's having some sort of stroke. No, can't stop now.

    Four.

    The shift is immediate, the image of a disembodied brain shrinking and fading as the image of an adult man grows and solidifies. Two seconds pass and the man is all that remains, his eyes blinking as he adjusts.

    Ring, stop neural suppression.

    Compliance.

    Binding my newly human guest in construct chains, I float back towards the library.

    "I would appreciate an explanation, please."

    Ms Birchall nods. "The man you were looking for is called Robert Reed. He's-. Well, he doesn't live around here any more."

    "And who are you?"

    "We're-. I suppose you'd call us clones. We were… Grown from tissue samples taken from.. transformed heroes. Neither of us were ever able to manifest powers, so we were kept around for other things. Spying, mostly."

    "By who?"

    "One time, Robert needed to be in two places at once. He used the dial to make two of himself, but… One of them was evil. The evil side went its own way, and… Created us."

    "And new dials."

    "No, the ones we use are far weaker than the original."

    "Is he still around?"

    "No, they merged back into Robert Reed decades ago. But we're still compelled to obey our master's last orders. He wanted the dial back."

    "You seem to be managing."

    She shakes her head. "It's been a long time, and I don't know what I'd do if I actually saw the.. bedamned thing."

    "Do you have any way to locate it?"

    She shakes her head. "We wouldn't be here if we did. We came here because it was our only lead, and since we didn't have anything better we settled down… I thought we were out."

    "And your dial."

    She hesitates. "I-. I've got it, but I can't give it up. I'd-. I'd try and kill you, I'd have to-."

    "Okay, just don't try and use it." She nods gratefully. "So who would have a way to track the dial down?"
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
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