With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

I'm guessing Hal paid for the full ten minute argument?

Spoiler: Pythonesque Having A Ball

 

Another old error.

It should be Zamarons.

 

I don't really understand that image.

Also, Paul, you're in a glass house here.

 

Time for some rather mundane-cosmic horror?

 

Paul found beings doing the whole Star Trek Kirk "going where no man has gone before" with spider guild members.

So Zoat posted that picture which shows a spider guild member in their giant arachnid glory to remind people of why that's eyebrow raising.

 

Oh, that's it? I thought that was a Violet Corps member in the background (though, the sigil is wrong). Between that, the chains, Gardner's angry expression, and where it was linked from, I was kinda getting mixed messages.

If it's just how they look then... eh. You underestimate people. The thing that strikes me as the weirdest is that funky humanoid hairdo (on a spider) more than anything else.

 

Gardner? I'm pretty sure that that's meant to be Jordan, just in slightly orangish lighting.

 

Honestly I can barely tell them apart. It's one of the... 3? popular main-character (human) lanterns doing a interrogation, that's all I can tell.

 

That's Grayven making an in-character mistake. He knows that Icon comes from 'Terminus' but hasn't heard anyone alter the tense before.

Thank you, corrected.

Thank you, corrected.

The erotic tension was so intense that it created an explosion-Lantern.

SHE SAID IT WAS A SPIRACLE.

Gardner's ginger.

 

The Hellblazer wiki says his name is spelled Ondaate. Also, it might also be misspelled in the Injustice League episode, when Paul was explaining who Map and John Constantine were.

 

Ah yes, because applying lotion to, and massaging, someone's sensitive-and-normally-covered areas definitely has no erotic connotations at all.

 

Thank you, corrected.

The SI is trained as a masseuse.

 

I'd point out that it's the equivalent of a nostril, buuuuut IIRC there's hentai comics out there where that's a thing.

 

Massages are still generally considered at least a somewhat/potentially erotic act even if the person doing it is a trained professional. Probably because of all the skin contact, the fact that you have to take most/all of your clothes off to do it with lotion, and the pleasant feelings combined with close proximity.

I mean, it's no coincidence that the idea of a "happy ending" is pretty strongly associated with massage parlors. A paid professional doing it somewhat offsets the erotic undertones, but it doesn't remove them.

Ah, good point. As we all know, humans never do anything sexual with openings that are used for breathing.

 

Spoiler: More retro corrections!

Thought? Not sure if that was deliberate or not.

Night's? Spellcheck thinks that's a mistake.

Broken link

I'm not entirely sure this link is broken; I use a browser extension called "fuck youtube" to unblock videos they arbitrarily block in my country, because... fuck youtube. But the extension couldn't unblock it and I'm pretty sure that video is toast. Anyone not in Canada says differently, then I'm mistaken and apologize

Boo-boop-ba-doo, I have some broken links for you. And possibly two typos but I'm not sure if they were intentional or not.

 

Thank you, corrected.

 

To me, this reads like a teenager finding out he's going to be a father, strenuously objecting that she'd said she was on the pill.

 

You can't get someone pregnant by fucking them in the spiracle.

...

In fact, the SI couldn't have gotten her pregnant by fucking her in the vagina either, if that was physically possible.

 

If the SI is becoming a god, like you implied, then according to his own religion there shouldn't be any form of sex he could impregnate her with.

edit: fuck, I meant there shouldn't be any form of sex he couldn't impregnate her with.

 

Eris: "Challenge accepted."

 

I've got some old corrections of my own:

Spoiler

Should "could have been part" be replaced with "should have been part"?

If she'll be 12 in two months, on June 1st, wouldn't it be moving it forward a month and a half to when she'll actually be twelve?

*should have

The period after 'Devil Jizz' seems out of place.

Also, the table of contents for Retribution say that parts 13-28 happened on the 20th of November, while the actual chapters say that they happened on the 21st. I realize this might be some weird thing to do with time zones.

Space needed.

Looks like this typo wasn't fixed in the Story Only thread.

"Sure thing." should be in green quotation marks because it's Guy talking.

Should that be

Next thing I'll do.
or
Next thing I do.

The green text and lack of quotation marks imply that Guy is transmitting the message directly into Paul's brain. Which is possible, but a little weird.


I also noticed some old Lantern to Lantern conversations that I'm pretty sure should have colored text:

Spoiler

Guy's text in this conversation should be pure orange.

Medphyll's text in this conversation should be pure orange.

Guy's text should be orange.

Guy's text. Orange.

Orange text needed.

Orange text.

Orange. Text.

Orange tex-I mean Yellow text needed.

Grayven is in contact with Earth 50 John for 5 chapters. If this is construct image communication, then John's text needs to be all Yellow.

He's not talking to another Lantern, but he is talking to the construct image of someone. So...?

 

unless of course he wanted it

 

Extra space before full stop.

 

Not as a masseur? Interesting.

 

*Were they

 

Oh god... What a pickup line.

Spoiler: Commentary spoilered for length

Ah, she has had some work done...

I'll bet.

Good lord...

Avoiding becoming a vassal to the others eh.

Geez, OL, how rude.

Interesting...

"Were they trying to recreate your whole species in your image?"

...I was on board one of the first wave of ships to arrive here."

An outcast, eh? Like many others in Vega.

Should be a question mark?

And all biologicallly. Very impresssive.

Hmm... Do I see a hook for recreating Kryptonians?

Another one? Geez, is this a check-in or a recruiting trip?

Well, some questions answered. And a few new ones...

 

So they are a Trans-Spider Guild?

How does that mesh with their instinct to eat "intelligent live that isn't us". Wouldn't a certain degree of modification mean they might be registered as a different species? That could be rather disruptive to their society, Queeny is right in keeping this secret and low key.

 

Interesting.

She's got a code, I see.

Harsh, but there.



I think she'd make for an interesting Orange Lantern. Very unusual perspective.

 

I assume that's meant to be a "Were"

I can only imagine what those attendants are going to be adding to the local rumour mill when their shift ends... "The Orange Lantern was utterly shameless! Flirting with the queen as if we weren't even there!"