1. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Gantradies

    Gantradies Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    683
    ..wasnt that one removed, along with the compulsion stopping him from even thinking of it as "his" ring, or am i miss-remembering a little?

    .. even so, you have to admit, allowing a telepath you've literally just met AND who's, at best, mentally/emotionally off-kilter due to a case of "Psycho-mantis" syndrome (minus the psychic "burn-in" of a dying serial killer partially overwriting his personality, i mean) free reign to peek into/ play around inside your brainpan isnt the best of ideas...
     
    Cuchulin and DAT_NOOB like this.
  2. Idkusername

    Idkusername Getting some practice in, huh?

    Joined:
    Friday
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    105
    Yes, definitely. I never said that qualified in any way as a good decision, just that people forgot about it. And no, Paul didn’t get it removed. He has his ring play a recording of it during conversation as a get-around.
     
  3. Idkusername

    Idkusername Getting some practice in, huh?

    Joined:
    Friday
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    105
    Ugh, i’m talking about two things in the first sentence.
     
  4. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    498
    I'm not sure "her husband's victims" is the right phrase here. While some of them absolutely were victims there were some who absolutely were not (as in they were absolutely thrilled to be seduced by the king of the gods) and they also felt the brunt of Hera's wrath. Moreover, several of the people she took out her frustrations on were her husband's CHILDREN, who are both non-victims (of Zeus anyway) and totally blameless.
     
  5. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    106,577
    Please remember that in Greece 16, those events are heavily 'reimagined' by bards trying to earn Herakles' favour or that of his royal descendants.
     
  6. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2014
    Messages:
    1,248
    Likes Received:
    2,903
    How do you do? I'm a Gnu, shit on my shoe!
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  7. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    498
    I wasn't thinking just of Herakles. Hera was pretty terrible to most if not all Zeus's lovers and illegitimate children. Herakles didn't even get it the worst. I mean, sure, she made his life difficult, but Lo got turned into a cow. And Echo cursed to only be able to repeat what others said just because Hera SUSPECTED an affair (she didn't even know for sure!) By those standards what she did to Herakles wasn't even all that extreme (though it WAS petty and stupid.)
     
    Ngamer11, Cuchulin and Gantradies like this.
  8. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    2,456
    Are the Sheeda so far into the Future that all the stars have gone out already, the planets are all dead, and the universe is growing cold, etc. Is that why they have to rely on Time Travel? Because there is literally nothing in their time period?

    Wasn't there a Doctor Who episode like that?
     
    Gantradies likes this.
  9. Gantradies

    Gantradies Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    683
    I included the children in the victims count, and as for the mistresses (willing it’s otherwise), well..after the first dozen or so he had to know he was KILLING them by cheating (he knew she was murdering/torturing his former paramours- I remeber he polymorphed a minimum of one for the remainder of her natural life to “protect” her)and even the willing ones were knowingly set up to suffer at his wife’s hand just so he could get it off with a mortal.... maybe “victims of the Olympians” would be better....
    I’ll admit to oftern coming across as darkly cynical/biased regarding the Olympian Parthenon, because, well... MOST of them, in at least one myth of another... well... were dicks/Merely dangerously irresponsible on a good day. I mean, the Aseir could bicker and Infight too, but they caused issues in Midguard far less oftern then Zeus and his siblings did in Greece....

    they were children/teenagers without competent parents,the power of jumped-up elementals, and a complete mental disconnect between their concepts of right and wrong, and they way they acted themselves, and treated people who couldn’t kick their ass in a straight fight-
    the internal comparison I make a lot is Zeus lucking into matching a prophecy, and having another god make him weapons (the ‘bolts were crafted weapons in the version of the mythology I grew up with) then Proceeded to spend generations lazing around with other people’s wives/unmarried maidens- compared to Odin going through literal torture (in some tellings, he outright begged for death/was screaming/crying in agony)to earn a huge chunk of his power set- and perminently loosing part of himself as a personal, constant reminder that, even for the divine, some things come at a cost...

    I guess, I’ve felt since I was a kid, that the Grecian storytellers made them feel TOO human- till they reflected far too many of of our worst traits in a way that’s... very ugly at times- the petty, vengeful actions of Hera legitimately remind me of some of the less pleasant members of my extended family, for example- though I very vaguely recall some theories/arguments that a chunk of the worst stuff was, at the time, social satire through the lens of tales of the Divime/ commentary on corrupt rulers- it’s been a few too many years since my last Age of Mythology-inspired two-week nonstop research jag >~<

    ... hmmm... you know, that could make an interesting miniarc/series of mini-background events regarding the Theramiscans beginning to leave isolation- looking into the actual root truths behind some of the myths... I’d totally watch that documentary!
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019 at 6:05 PM
  10. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    592
    Or alternatively, universal entropy has occurred and the Sheeda have found a resource-intensive way of slowing it down/stopping it meaning that they are earth/solar system locked?
     
    Gantradies likes this.
  11. Gantradies

    Gantradies Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    683
    The only problem I have with that theory, is that whatever they were Doing would have to also be propagating back up the timeline in order to -keep- them locked- and unless something VERY screwy indeed occurred, it’d make their raids literally impossible, as they’d only be able to target the space they were occupying now.
    uhhhhh. Then.
    later but now when our ThemNbecomes their...
    bugger, I’m stuck in the torment of temporal tensical torsion now >.<
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2019 at 6:25 PM
    DAT_NOOB likes this.
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    106,577
    They're from the future, but not that far in the future.
    The SI never finds out exactly why they were doing what they were doing. But Grayven does.
     
  13. DrThoth

    DrThoth Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    152
    Likes Received:
    533
    Did you mean Renegade? An actual Grayven being involved is possible but seems far less probable.
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    106,577
    Technically, he does find out about it too.
     
  15. SotF

    SotF Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2015
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    75
    Even with the freeway, for a long while the railroads were still needed for a town. Train is one of the major ways to ship gasoline and other things in large enough amounts to make it work due to the costs of fuel in distribution
     
  16. Coda

    Coda Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    275
    Likes Received:
    1,075
    You are. The name issue is still in place.
     
  17. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2019
    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    498
    I don't disagree with anything you've said here. The Greek pantheon, as depicted by the Greeks themselves and by extension mostly by DC, are absolutely spoiled children.

    That said blaming Zeus for Hera's attacks on his paramours is really not fair. Yes, he was a terrible example of the worst of unfaithful husbands, yes he absolutely should have been keeping it in his pants, but let's be real here: his actions neither excuse hers nor make him responsible for them. That would be just as bad as blaming his infidelity on her not taking care of him or for making his life miserable (which, seeing how sadistic she was with his paramours, I can't help but think she must have.)
     
  18. Threadmarks: Sprited Away (part 12)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    4,207
    Likes Received:
    106,577
    18th February
    22:12 GMT +5:30


    I knock on the door to Magnificus' office. Even with how the facility here has expanded, there aren't a great many forms of entertainment out here in the jungle. And given how driven Magnificus is, it's hardly surprising that he's spending his time in here.

    "A-arnold?"

    "Afraid not. Do you have a moment, Magnificus?"

    "Is it urgent?"

    "Hard to say, but maybe?"

    "Ah, come… Come in, then?"

    I nod and press the door release, then push the door open and walk inside. The room is relatively spartan. A few photographs on a shelf; the pictures are of him during particularly proud moments. And one of him with Nyssa and her family at Mr Wayne's wedding. The next shelf down houses a stuffed uberrat, probably reassembled after its encounter with my team. His desk has a curved surface, allowing different parts of it to be used for different purposes. There's a small soldering station, a holographic emitter/sensor interface and a physical book which looks Atlantean.

    Magnificus smiles at me from behind his desk, posture slightly tense.

    "What can I do for you?"

    "That sheeda thing that was trying to depress you. Do you still have the gun you used to kill it or did Thaddeus keep it?"

    "Ah, yes, no, I've still got it. It was such a kludge job that he didn't think it was worth keeping. And I… It's not my speciality field, and I wanted it on hand… Just in case… Another one of those things turned up. Thaddeus probably has a b-better one now."

    "Perhaps, but I need plausible deniability when dealing with that side of your family. Would you mind if I borrowed it?"

    "Why?" He frowns. "Are there more of those things?"

    "There's an unusually high suicide rate in a place called Kennedy, in Oregon. I wanted to eliminate them from our enquiries."

    "Is there any reason why the sheeda would be interested in the place?"

    "Not that I can think of. I doubt it will be one of them, but I want to be able to eliminate them from our enquiries."

    He shakes his head. "That won't work. The way the vaporised suspendium works-." He considers me for a moment. "To simplify things a great deal, I could kill it because it was attempting to influence me. You c-can't just fire blindly with it and achieve the same result."

    I frown. "Is there a way to bypass that?"

    "Probably. I haven't been looking into it myself. Thaddeus would be the best person to talk to; either him or Father. Thaddeus would probably have tried to improve the design and F-f-f-father is the world's leading expert in suspendium. If there's a way around it, he'll know it."

    "Would you mind if I claimed to have gotten it from you?"

    "It's not-. If there's an operational reason, I suppose. Just m-make sure that Thaddeus and Father know that I'm not claiming credit myself."

    "Of course." I raise my right hand to my forehead. "Nyssa."

    "Ah-."

    18th February
    17:43 GMT +1:00


    "I'm-."

    Space solidifies and fractures, cold and a strangely echoey noise fills my awareness. Oh, they got it working. I

    step out again and

    return to their laboratory three metres to the right and shield.

    Both of the younger Sivana children are staring into the fractured cuboid of solidified space, sensors in hand.

    Georgia looks a little puzzled. "Not quite what I thought it would look like."

    Thaddeus shakes his head. "Just because he's orange, that doesn't mean that it would be."

    "But the power drain function-."

    "What are you-"

    They swivel as one, ray gun and ultra-taser at the ready.

    "-working on?"

    And they put them away as soon as they see that it's me, Georgia drawing a microphone instead.

    "What did you experience while you were trapped in there?"

    "I couldn't move and it was like looking out through a cracked window. I'm.. sorry, but I'm in a bit of a rush. Th-."

    "Oh, I simply haven't had time to collect all of the data your little side-project requires. But I have collected quite a lot of statistical and behavioral data which supports your initial hypothesis, and devised a simple self-assessment form for people who wish to analyse their own epistemology."

    "Thank you, and I'll be back for that later, but right now I need to know whether or not Thaddeus kept working on the gun you used to kill that thing that was stalking Magnificus."

    Thaddeus looks away from his sensor's display. "The Mind Killer?" I nod. "Sure. I wanted to try it on other supervillains. You know, see if the sheeda were trying to take advantage of their unresolved personality conflicts to create local allies or sleeper agents."

    Her face turned in my direction and away from his, Georgia raises her eyebrows sceptically.

    "And to check yourself and your father?"

    He shakes his head. "We have resolved personality conflicts. It's not the same thing at all. But I didn't find any, so I guess they're not. Or maybe the sheeda just use them as assassination drones, I don't know."

    "If only you studied social science. Then you'd be able to-"

    "Soft subject."

    "-understand their motivations better."

    "It's economics. They're coming to asset strip us. I don't need to study their hair styles to understand that."

    "Um, excuse me?" I regain their attention. "I'm currently undertaking a mission in a town in Oregon with an unusually high suicide rate, and-."

    "Not it." / "Not it."

    "I'm.. sorry?"

    Thaddeus shakes his head. "We've never even been to Oregon. And Dad's got us so focused on the sheeda that-."

    "No, no, I wasn't accusing you. I want to eliminate another Mind Killer from my enquiries, so I was wondering if I could borrow your detection system."

    "The prototype?"

    "Magnificus said-."

    "The proper prototype." He nods. "Sure thing." He heads over to a wall covered in large lockers. "You basically just point it and press the button, and it shows them. You still can't destroy them unless you're the one they're attacking, but it'll-" He opens a locker and pulls a raygun-like device out. "-light them up. Let me know how it goes."

    18th February
    10:51 GMT -6


    I move the device in an arc, and we spot the fifth Mind Killer floating along behind a local girl.

    "Well, fiddlesticks."
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019 at 10:54 AM
  19. Unlimited Harem Works

    Unlimited Harem Works Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2015
    Messages:
    102
    Likes Received:
    303
    Mr Zoat So Nyssa was blowing M. Sivana under the desk?
     
  20. Twilight666

    Twilight666 Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2014
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    876
    ... ok
    ......what's wrong....
    is there something wrong with Magnifi-
    aaa..
    Oh
    Oohh!
    Oooooh!
    Bow-Chika-Wow-Wow!!
     
  21. Ardy

    Ardy Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    1,091
    ...So it WASN'T the telepathic recluse with the personality issues?

    Damn. Sorry to doubt you, Paul.

    edit: Wait, Nyssa was WHAT
     
  22. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2014
    Messages:
    1,660
    Likes Received:
    9,641
    I suppose it's a pairing that bypasses the partner longevity issue for both of them.
     
  23. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    1,515
    When Paul said "Nyssa", I realized what was happening. It's just like Paul to notice and just go on like nothing's wrong. I really hope he (offhandedly) remarks on that event some time in the future.

    On to the more important issue; good news, they know the cause; bad news, they seem to have no way of making them go away. Hope they can get more effective weaponry from the Sivanas ASAP.
     
  24. Z000

    Z000 If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2014
    Messages:
    1,562
    Likes Received:
    2,749
    have Paul brand the infected and make them shoot the Depression ghost
     
  25. King of Frost

    King of Frost Wishing I was somewhere colder no doubt.

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    493
    I could see what was happening before the actual reveal but I assumed it couldn't have been that so I guess it still got me.
     
  26. Buggy123

    Buggy123 Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    3,552
    Well, they can't stealthily make them go away.

    They could easily just hand the Mind Killer Killer gun to whoever's being haunted and tell them to point it at the mean ghost thingy that's following them. Would be a bit hard to explain how a couple foreign exchange students or w/e got one of those, though.
     
  27. Ardy

    Ardy Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    164
    Likes Received:
    1,091
    “Hello civilian! I’m a superhero! There are monsters that are invisible to everyone but you that make you depressed. We can detect them now but you need to shoot them with this.

    Have a nice day.”
     
  28. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2014
    Messages:
    1,660
    Likes Received:
    9,641
    Batman: "Magnificus Sivana didn't have any conditions for providing the device?"
    OL: "No. I think he just wanted me to leave."
    Batman: "You think he was hiding something?"
    OL: "Just your sister-in-law under his desk."
     
  29. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker, Rookie Proofreader

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    4,085
    A co-worker, I assume. Or Doctor 'Iron' Munro?

    "You seem a little distracted. Something on your mind?"

    He isn't under attack again, he'd be able to deal with that...

    As if any Sivana would be satisfied by a kludge. No doubt the good Sivana Senior has improved heavily on the design.

    Razor-focused. He's definitely worried, but not fearful. Good on him.

    "Or eliminate them period, if they're present."

    Definitely distracted. I wonder by what...

    Ah, the joy of a family of super-scientists: Egos the size of a small moon, and the skills to back them up.
    Correction: operational might sound better here.

    Oh, my... [/Sulu] No wonder the man was distracted.
    Correction: 'my forehead.'

    So, the youngest Sivana siblings made a way to prevent or capture someone teleporting into their presence? Handy.

    Phrasing, young man!

    "Also: Got you."

    Ah, children, focus please.

    Well, that's a useful tidbit to know.

    Ah, OL. So perceptive in some ways... So blind in others.

    He's not even counsciously saying it, is he? It's a verbal tic now.

    An interesting way of looking at it, if a little bland.

    Super-scientists with few scruples. Gotta love them.

    Well, they'd hardly need it by now. They've clearly made a much better version.

    And smash cut to...

    ...Yup, saw that coming a mile away. Now, will they realise these things aren't operating under any control?

    Well, now they know what's responsible. Now to deal with the problem at the source. The loose Mind Killers are jsut a symptom, after all.
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2019 at 8:21 AM
  30. Buggy123

    Buggy123 Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    499
    Likes Received:
    3,552
    Hmm, I don't think these timestamps make sense.

    He teleports:
    And then has a short conversation, grabs the thingy, goes back and searches long enough to find 5 Mind Killers and its:
    Two minutes before he left?
     
Loading...