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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Good point.

    Though they are descendant from Melmoth, someone who may be immortal, or at least very long lived, so they may have a longer lifespan compared to a human.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2020
  2. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    So, now that we know the motives behind his ascent, how ironic is Klarion's death?
     
  3. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Yeah. Praise-God Barebone is a sort-of famous example (at least enough that he had a parliament named for him), but there were probably a lot of names like God-Loves-You Smith or Suffer-Not-A-Witch-To-Live Jones (the latter isn't likely to be a name used in Columbia, though).
     
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  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    However, Suffer-Not-A-Warlock-To-Live (insert name here) may be used by some people.
     
  5. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Murdering his parents was among his many crimes and his sister was one of the Witch hunters that came after him.

    That places a very hard limit on Klarions age.

    His sister appears to be a young adult, thus Klarion cannot be more than a decade plus a few years older than her at most, and it its entirely possible for him to actually be around the same age or younger than her.
     
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    If the Columbians live longer than ordinary humans due to their Sheeda genes then that could explain him taking decades to become a Lord of Chaos and his parents still being alive for him to kill.

    Though I'll agree that it's more likely that he became a Lord when he was young, either because someone helped him somehow, like another Lord of Chaos, or maybe he was just prodigy in magic and figured out a method himself.
     
  7. Dur'id the Druid

    Dur'id the Druid Know what you're doing yet?

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    I am getting worried about Best Snek ongoing absence. I mean shouldn't his favorite host drop in for occasional social call? And not even being found in the Honden? And why is only one other person even thinking about it in the comments? :(
     
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  8. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Good question. Either she can't go to that planet for some reason, or something has happened and Paul is going to have to help the Ophidian in his next episode. If it is the latter, I am hoping Paul can flex more of his expertise in front of his Corps.
     
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  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Paul did speculate in one of the previous chapters that she may be finding it interesting viewing the desires of other ring wielders, so she may be busy doing that.

    Another explanation for her absence may be due to the place and time they are in right now.

    If Melmoth took the Puritans sometime in the future then it is possible that the Ophidian could have died somehow, or just stopped being in the Honden for some reason.

    If they're in the past then it's possible that she's still in the Light Fountain in Larfleezes possession

    If they're in another universe altogether then it's possible something like the Ophidian never came to exist there, but the Honden, or its equivalent, did come into existence.

    But yeah I hope we have an episode where Paul and his Corps go on a mission and he shows off his expertise.
     
  10. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    It's also something Omnians do in Discworld, albeit with it's own silly discworld spin on it.
    Hence Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets, of the Ankh-Morpork city watch
     
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  11. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 Versed in the lewd.

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    This ... may not have been a great idea when dealing with a time traveller and using a method of travel that probably can do time travel itself.
     
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  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    I believe Zoat is coming to realize that he reached the point where he needs to nerf Paul to make conflict in the story still be interesting.
     
  13. Sorrow

    Sorrow Getting sticky.

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    Hmmm, Ophi-chan is missing? is someone abducting the Emotional Avatar Beasts, perhaps?...

    Now I find myself wondering if Paul is going to replace the Ophidian.
     
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  14. Mordart

    Mordart Making the rounds.

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    I'm still utterely confused about Klarion. Klarion is dead, isn't he? This is the same universe and time that his sister came from to hunt him down. So if his sister came back to this time, then in this time period he's already became a Lord of Chaos and left. Hence the Hunt for him. Mission accomplished.

    The only ways I can see Klarion still alive is if a PAST version of himself either came back, or his people made a mistake going after a future version. Rather than, say, the one still in this period.

    Perhaps it's not Klarion he's seeing at all, Paul is just making a comment "Oh, that's like Klarions desires"?
     
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  15. infinityDivided

    infinityDivided ******** of Doom

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    The Honden serves as a record of the universe's desires, not just present observation. He can see everything anyone has ever desired since the universe began supporting souls connected to the Orange Light.
     
  16. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    It's just two lines but I'm already rooting for the secret gay Columbian lovers; maybe there'll be a more permanent connection set up between Witch World and Earth-16 and they and the warlocks can set up in some part of Earth.
     
  17. Threadmarks: Faed Away (part 20)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    5th May
    At Some Point


    Melmoth's eyes widen fractionally as I appear in what looks like-

    Entropic rays orientate on me and fire, the modifications I made to my armour to enable it to better resist them performing well enough to keep me in one piece long enough for my railguns to retaliate.

    -the control room of some sort of.. facility..? Multiple control panels show that it was designed to be operated by a larger number of people than the one who currently occupies it. Illusion projectors show a variety of scenes from Columbia and other places, and a large window to the exterior shows… A red coloured rocky desert. No, yellow-brown, it's the dim light from above that's red.

    "Now-."

    As the last ray projector slumps in its ball mount I reach out for Melmoth with orange strands and brand.

    He grits his teeth, and I can feel him resisting. The images I saw suggested that he had a similar upbringing to Larfleeze: starving and scrabbling for every crumb. But while Larfleeze learned absolutely nothing from the experience, Melmoth learned discipline. Mental strength and focus. Even as he tries to suppress his own desires to zen-like calm the witch-signs he'll use to fight me are forming around his fingers.

    But I didn't use every trick when I taught the Green Lanterns to resist me.

    Enkindle Need.

    Because while assimilation works best on people with little self-control, there's a difference between control and mastery. Melmoth could probably go centuries without hurting anyone if he had to without any adverse psychological consequences. But he could never let go of that desire and as his eyes glow orange and he tilts his head back with a gasp he abandons his effort at control in favour of lunging at me, rationality overwhelmed by his burning need to hurt something.

    The brand finishes forming a moment before his face slams into my chest plate.

    I reset his desires to their baselines as he stands and takes a closer look. Yes, he's… Flaking a little, but he's healing faster than it can take hold.

    Normally I'd speak instructions at this point, because this brand is a temporary thing and whoever I've done it to is going to have to be rehabilitated at some point. But in this case… I think he's.. if not a lost cause then at least one I'm not inclined to look for.

    Instead I reach into his soul, search out the atrophied drives for cooperation and camaraderie and empower them while I turn down his selfishness and cruelty.

    "Melmoth, stop the attack."

    "Ah-? Yes. Well, I… Can't." He hurries over to a control panel. "I set up the trigger before I left. I can release the counteragent-" He pulls a lever. "-but that won't stop any attackers who are already 'triggered' from carrying out their instinctive behaviour. And I should shut down the mass mutation device I left on the great southern island."

    "Is there anything else you can do to help them?"

    "Certainly!" He presses a few more buttons, and the… Some sort of ornament in the middle of the floor spurts a green fluid from… Oh, it's a fountain, from the top and the liquid flows beneath the keys as Melmoth presses them. "We'll be there in a moment."

    "Where are we now?"

    "We're over what used to be the Atlantic Ocean. Before it dried up." He smiles as the scenery outside the window shimmers and vanishes. "The one place no Sheeda would look: the miserable period before the first Harrowing."

    "We're in the future?"

    "No, the past! I won't be born for centuries!"

    He hurries between the consoles, pulling levers, pressing buttons and briefly creating small witch-signs to manipulate the machinery.

    "My future?"

    "The future of humanity; the death of the world and the succession of the Sheeda. But put it from your mind! We have a people to aid!"

    "What were you planning to do with them?"

    "I imagine that you've deduced most of it. I wanted to create a reserve of people with whom I could colonise the Earth after the Harrowing."

    "But they all hate you."

    "Yes, but the moment they decreed that certain things were forbidden they created an opening for my return. Hating me is part of their official creed, which naturally means that anyone they define as being outside of that creed suddenly doesn't feel the same need for animosity. With sufficient time I would easily have talked the warlocks and warlock-breed around. Once I offered them my aid in improving their skills… Once I repaired their pupae forms into true Sheeda, and once I led them to victory against the Columbians, then they would accept me as their leader."

    He blinks, giving his head a small shake.

    "Not that that matters now. What a horrid waste of time."

    The churning kaleidoscope of textures on the other side of the window fades away, being replaced by the stars I recognise from the skies over Witchworld.

    Immediately, Melmoth moves over to another control station.

    "I can use the integrated weapons to cull the horde a little. You should be able to speak to your allies now."

    "Orange Lantern to Justice League. Mission success. I have Melmoth and-"

    I scan the structure we're standing in. It's a huge cylindrical vehicle which floats unsupported in the air.

    "-his base of operations."

    "Is Melmoth under control?"

    "Effectively. He's being very helpful. He's shutting down the attackers as much as he can and taking shots at the rest. You should be able to see-."

    "The ship, yes. I see it now. Remain with him to ensure that your controls remain in place."

    "Yes sir. Have.. you any plans on what we're doing with him once the immediate crisis is over?"

    "Not yet. That will be… Difficult."

    Telling me…

    "I'll meet you on the ship once the fighting is over. Wonder Woman out."

    I nod as Melmoth continues to treat Central Columbia as a shooting arcade.

    I just went to the far future. I… Don't think that's something I… Can do at-will. Time travel. I certainly… I'm not usually one to turn down power but that would sort of make me responsible for everything and I'd… Rather not be.

    "Melmoth, do you have any idea how I reached you in the future?"

    "The water, probably." He points to the… Place where the water was flowing through the central console. "A small amount I temporarily stabilised from the fountain at the core of the Castle Revolving's time displacement system. It flows through time, which means that it escapes constantly. It wouldn't surprise me if it made the usual separation of eras somewhat less of an issue."

    "And the Queen has the Castle?"

    "Unless she lost it somehow. I think that's fairly unlikely, but that was how I was overthrown." He glances at the central console. "I'm afraid that if you want to do it again then you'll need more of the water."

    I nod, torn between disappointment and relief.

    "Keep up the good work. I'll stay out of your way."
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2020
  18. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Maybe 'in what'

    'by the stars'

    'Witchworld' , seeing as when you're pronouncing a worlds name the first letter is typically in bold.

    Extract any information about the Sheeda you can from him and then hand him over to the Columbians, seeing as he's currently done the most harm to them they're the ones that deserve to have his fate in their hands.

    That or overthrow the Queen and install him as the ruler and reform the Sheeda into something not evil, but I guess you could also just kill Melmoth and alter the Queen.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Nice to see Paul is keeping some tricks up his sleeve in case he ever has to face people who can either control their avarice or have trained against Paul's powers specifically.
     
  21. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    replaces -> replaced
    my -> by
     
  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Maybe 'have easily talked', it just sounds better.
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  24. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    This chapter isn't getting a like, because it doesn't deserve it.

    You built up what for once was an interesting and challenging Villain that could have kept the story interesting for years to come. And then you had Paul pull multiple new powers out of his ass to beat him in the most pathetic way possible.

    This is quite simply bad writing on par with the sort of thing you would see from Perfect Lionheart and the like.
     
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  25. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    Jesus. Christ.

    One, this Melmoth arc has gone on long enough and I'm fine with an actual conclusion with the villain being definitively stopped, not escaping in the last comic panel to come back 20 issues down the line. Two, this story has been going on for years. Variety is the spice of this story. SI in the DC Universe, not constantly sparring with one Dark Eldar type scumbag.

    Plus we still have to see the Renegade side of this with the Sheeda attack on modern Renegade Earth and Sivana messing with time.
     
  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    If I remember correctly, Paul has used Enkindle Need before. Just never while simultaneously Branding someone. Doing both at the same time actually makes a lot of sense, as well as why he doesn't exactly tell people that he can do that.
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Don't bother trying to make Vaermina see your point, it's an impossible task that will just leave you annoyed.
     
  28. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Too slow, Swirly-cheeks. And now you belong to OL.

    Honestly, you're making it sound slightly like a TARDIS... At least with the 'operated by less than the optimum number of people. I bet there's some limited similarity in its' ability to travel, too.

    Ah, a moment well worth the wait. This will be sooo satisfying.

    Of course not! Why would you show everything in your arsenal to the people stuck working for assholes. Gotta have something in reserve if they turn on you. Paranoia at its proper finest.

    Big old chink in his metaphorical armour, isn't it? He just can't let go of that sadistic streak. And now it's biting him in the arse.

    Bet he's regretting rendering himself immortal now, huh? Has he stopped smiling, at least? ;)

    Oh, that's even crueller than anything physical you could do. Especially since he'll remember how he was, and the difference will burn.

    ...Oh, that would have been bad. Very, very bad. I shudder at the monstrosities it would have produced.

    Very.. stylish. Not lessening the comparison to a TARDIS any, either...

    So, he fled into his own past. Setting up plots that would come out to play when he made his move in the future, I suppose. Timey-wimey stuff...

    At least that joviality isn't being directed at people suffering anymore. I can just imagine him chuckling to himself at the irony of his position, At least in the timestream. I doubt he's very happy about his current state, deep down.

    Oh god, now he's acting like the Doctor. Stop him, please.

    Yes, well, that didn't go so well, did it? What with the whole 'rising up and trying to kill you' bit.

    Eh, I suspect he's overestimating his persuasiveness. Even now, the Warlock-breed hate him as much as the Columbians do. You're not likely to undo centuries of that much hate in a generation or two...

    On that, we can all agree. Though the sooner he's safely somewhere he can't mess with anyone again, the better. What do you think? Oan Sciencell or a Maltusian lockup of some kind?

    Presumably, OL is monitoring his actions. I doubt Melmoth could resist the compulsion to be helpful, but he could easily 'accidentally' be over-enthusiastic with some weapons fire...

    Mission won't be completely successful until the Columbians are out of danger. But with their master working against them, the Sheeda-creatures will be somewhat easier to manage...

    Fricking magic, making a mockery of things like gravity. Is it hanging like a brick shouldn't?

    Yeah, can't trust he doesn't have some hidden countermeasures to undo the Orange Light tweaking. A backup memory that kicks in if he doesn't perform a certain action every so often, for example...

    I See Wonder Woman is still a mistress of understatement. Difficult will not begin to describe it, methinks.

    :rolleyes: So, a few minutes, at the rate they're going.

    It's quite a feat. And quite the moral challenge. One of those 'No one man should have all that power' things... :D

    So it's a liquid space-time wedgie. Is it wibbly-wobbly, too? I suppose it must be, or it would run out at some point otherwise.

    Oh, how ironic, given what happened in the Renegade's timeline.

    You have some things to consider, eh? Do keep an eye on him, though...

    Well... Scry-and-.. if not -Die, then -Dominate. Almost feels anti-climactic, but Melmoth probably wasn't prepared for this kind of thing. While he may have seen Lanterns before, they were probably of the Green variety, and Orange can pull off some bullshit. Joy of getting blind-sided by something unfamiliar, like an out-of-context problem, huh?
     
  29. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I just wanted to point out that it isn't a new power, in case anyone thinks it is. Also, I found the part of the story where he used it. He called it Enkindle Avarice. Mr Zoat, will either name work, or will you make one the official name?

    Also, he used it in the peace talks in Vega to make the various factions create a treaty that made all sides profit. It is useful in both combat and diplomatic missions.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2020
  30. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Green(and other colors) can probably pull off equivalent levels of bullshit, I think. It’s just that the Guardians actively discouraged esoteric uses of the green light.
     
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