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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Reader mode
If you wanna see Colin Farrell as the best-acted Penguin in any possible timeline, go watch the first episode of the 2022 HBO The Penguin crime drama series. Seriously. I was recommending everyone give up on DC live action before seeing it; this gives me hope for Swamp Thing's movie. Oh, they do rename him to Oswald "Oz" Cobb though, not cobblepot. Doesn't have Selina Kyle though.
 
Mr Zoat said:
I wonder why Mr. Cobblepot had us brought through the main club, rather than through the staff entrance? To delay us a little, possibly? He's had some wards done but I've stopped taking that sort of thing personally. The cleaning staff aren't currently working… Anywhere I can see. Perhaps they are on shift but he's had them relocate just in case we kick off? That seems out of character, but then comic Mr. Luthor didn't see a contradiction between encouraging the man who cleans his office to call him 'Lex' and having an uppity union representative pushed of a building, so…
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'off'
It doesn't have to be selective empathy. It could just be slightly more convenient to warn the staff than it would be to get new ones if they were seriously injured.
Mr Zoat said:
I turn away, looking towards the door. "When Mister Atom does that, it's because he genuinely doesn't understand that he's being evasive."
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I just thought of another reason that the GPA must be defeated; Mister Atom might get less screen time, since Oh El's calls will be answered by OMACs instead of the future president.
 
Chojin Patriarch said:
Well, that's one way to get excellent assistance. An offer like that will have Oswald quite eager to pay back that little debt. And his information network should be wide enough to get leads on the Hatter if he's anywhere in the mainland United States, I bet. Of course, there's always the chance he's elsewhere...
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Whow. He's Oswald Cobblepot, not Nick Fury.
Duke Long said:
'off'
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Thank you, corrected.
 
Mr Zoat said:
Whow. He's Oswald Cobblepot
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Remember hearing an interview with one of the original DC writers and creator of the original penguin after one of the Batman movies. He was meant to be such a classy and respectful looking person but was in fact very evil. But then the movies came on and made him into an outright monster.
 
The first half of the scene was fun. "Street soap opera" indeed.

When they actually start negotiating with Cobblepot, though, it seems odd that despite having brought Selina along specifically to server as an intermediary with Cobblepot and despite her even requesting that he be quiet and let her do the negotiation (in an earlier chapter), the SI does almost all the talking!

Mr Zoat said:
"Oswald, that's hardly the way to talk to an old friend."
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That's pretty much all Selina contributes. Paul is the one to explain why they are there. Paul is the one to make a case that it is in Cobblepot's best interest to help find Tetch. Paul is the one to offer payment.

It makes it seem like there was no point in getting Selina to help; Paul could have shown up at the Iceberg Lounge alone and had pretty much the same conversation. Maybe the idea is that Cobblepot would have been unwilling to have a meeting and even hear OL out without Selina providing credibility with her mere presence. If so, it could have been communicated better by having the server and then Cobblepot address Selina first and only acknowledge OL after she's 'guaranteed' this is a peaceful meeting.

This isn't even a plot criticism but more I think the story would be stronger if a few narrative cues had been employed to make Selina seem more 'necessary' even if nothing substantial changed in events.
 
Mr Zoat said:
"And what's in it for me?"

"I can pay medallions, or… I'd never mock someone for their physical disfigurements, but you don't have anything that it wouldn't be hard for me to fix if you so desired." I raise my right hand, subspace my glove, and then alter my own hand to mirror his. "Mm. Uncomfortable, and awkward to use I imagine."

I shift it back, wiggling the fingers at him.

"Well?"

"Payment up front."
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Not gonna lie, this bit got me laughing, the image was *that* hilarious.

Still, makes me wonder what Selina is feeling, because right now, she's just eye candy. I mean, she's *great* as eye candy, but... Yeah, that wasn't why she was accompanying Orange Lantern.
 
I'm suprised no one's made any Handsome Squidward jokes
 
Steelplaza said:
The first half of the scene was fun. "Street soap opera" indeed.

When they actually start negotiating with Cobblepot, though, it seems odd that despite having brought Selina along specifically to server as an intermediary with Cobblepot and despite her even requesting that he be quiet and let her do the negotiation (in an earlier chapter), the SI does almost all the talking!



That's pretty much all Selina contributes. Paul is the one to explain why they are there. Paul is the one to make a case that it is in Cobblepot's best interest to help find Tetch. Paul is the one to offer payment.

It makes it seem like there was no point in getting Selina to help; Paul could have shown up at the Iceberg Lounge alone and had pretty much the same conversation. Maybe the idea is that Cobblepot would have been unwilling to have a meeting and even hear OL out without Selina providing credibility with her mere presence. If so, it could have been communicated better by having the server and then Cobblepot address Selina first and only acknowledge OL after she's 'guaranteed' this is a peaceful meeting.

This isn't even a plot criticism but more I think the story would be stronger if a few narrative cues had been employed to make Selina seem more 'necessary' even if nothing substantial changed in events.
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Once they arrived, she was at least somewhat superfluous. Her being with the SI indicated to Mr. Cobblepot that the SI was interested in talking, and she's the one who suggested talking to him in the first place. But it's hard to beat 'I have infinite money' as a negotiating position.
 
We're All Mad Here (part 10)
18th July 2013
10:52 GMT -5

Selina takes a sip of coffee, and appears to grudgingly decide that it's of acceptable quality. Not cat-poo coffee, not The Black Blood of the Earth, just good quality beans roasted by a professional and then put in suspended animation until I needed to caffeinate someone.

I've been popping back to Jade's apartment at least once a week, and between that and the atmospheric filtration system I built in it's in perfect condition, but…

It's… Empty. She hasn't lived here in over a year, I haven't lived here for nearly as long. I was appearing wherever she was stationed to sleep when she was on a low-intensity mission, but I stopped doing that when the broadcast happened so that I could be on call immediately when some new disaster happened. I suppose I could start again now… But with Batman doing whatever he's doing with the Global Peace Agency, I don't…

I consider Selina.

Hm.

I take a plate of shortbread out of subspace and offer them to her with a smile.

Her suspicion visibly increases.

"I didn't spike the shortbread. I realised that I pushed you in a way that was unproductive, so I want to patch things up."

"But not apologise."

I shrug. "I see what I see. I believe that I'm correct, but I should have approached it better, particularly when you reacted negatively."

I put the plate of shortbread down on the sideboard next to her.

"How is Karon actually doing?"

"Haven't you asked her?"

"Of course I've asked her. And when I do, she comes up with immediate practical issues and I've helped her deal with them. What she's never voluntarily mentioned is how she feels about her 'Mistress' phase."

"Have you tried telling her that you're an empath?"

"Would you like me to bend over and hand you a paddle?"

She looks away for a moment, smiling wistfully. "I used to charge three hundred dollars an hour for that."

"Really? Gosh."

Her eyes are back on me. "And what does that mean?"

I shrug. "I've never used a prostitute or been involved in vice policing. I don't really know what it costs to hire someone, but that sounds like a lot. Which means that if I've got my timelines right, you must have reached the top of your field fairly quickly."

"Or I convinced people that I had."

"Isn't that what being a dominatrix is all about anyway?"

"True, but you have to judge what the client can afford. I didn't have the luxury of going without work to satiate my ego."

"Um. Going..? Is this a good point to go back to our prior discussion about what you want in a romantic partner? Because if what you're after is 'bad boy on the streets, naughty boy in the sheets', then it-"

She chuckles, dipping her head slightly.

"-clarifies things for me, but it cuts down the range of possible candidates a good deal. Like… A lot."

"You're not letting go of this, are you?"

"I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." I open my mouth slightly and raise my eyebrows. "Yes, I haven't forgotten that you're an empath. I think what's tripping you up is our very different standards for 'being happy'."

"Alright then. I want you to be happier. Because you have been happier, and we both know a route to that level of happiness."

"A route that has you and your girlfriend living at opposite ends of the galaxy."

"That was my fault."

"I suspected as much." She nods. "You seem to have a knack for insulting people."

"No, a-. The first time we met, I grabbed her with a tentacle construct and said 'stop moving, I've seen this film and it doesn't end well for the Asian woman'. At-"

Her eyes boggle, and she snorts with laughter.

"-the time she was too distracted to hear it, but when I visited later to apologise for saying something that inappropriate she actually found it funny. Not the.. comment itself so much as the juxtaposition between the crudeness of the comment being delivered by someone as clean cut as myself speaking with a received pronunciation English accent." I find myself smiling. "I think it was that which convinced her to tolerate me visiting her; I'd be an entertaining distraction if nothing else."

"So why is she on the other side of the galaxy?"

"She wanted to establish her independence. When one party in a relationship is rich… Approaching the dreams of avarice… And has superpowers…" Selina nods. "I could probably have talked her into staying, but I could see that would be setting myself-. Setting us up for trouble in the long run. Unless I could make us more… Equal. I offered to train her to use an orange power ring, but her first try… Didn't go well. Or rather, it went well for the people of Vietnam, but she found it unsettling. She didn't like the loss of control. So, I knew that the Darkstars were on the lookout for people with her skill set, I knew it would satisfy her desires… So I suggested it. We're spending a lot more time apart than I'd like, but she's satisfied in a professional way that she wouldn't have been on Earth."

"Did you tell her that?"

"Yes, of course. And after everyone started making 'if she's moved to the other end of the galaxy then she's probably dumped you' jibes then I made it clear to her that I didn't like being apart as much as we were, but that I wasn't going to try and insist on changing things."

"Because that would violate her trust."

"Yes."

"Huh. I hate to say it… I mean, I really hate to say it, but I think that's the best thing you could do."

"I was visiting regularly, then someone Anti-Lifed the Earth. So… About Batman-."

"So close. No, you need to let me process what you just said about your relationship before we go back to talking about mine."

"No, I mean, you know him better than me. What do you think about the Global Peace Agency?"

"That he finally hired more help than Alfred? That if he'd done that years ago we might have had more time together?"

"You don't have any concerns?"

"No. Do you?"

"I'd have concerns about anyone getting as much power as he's got. But just about everyone I've asked doesn't really see the problem so I'm wondering if-."

"It's-" She nods. "-just you."

I sigh. "That's the conclusion I'm coming to, yes. So, what's been happening in Gotham lately?"
 
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Mr Zoat said:
Selina takes a sip of coffee, and appears to grudgingly decide that it's of acceptable quality. Not cat-poo coffee, not The Black Blood of the Earth, just good quality beans roasted by a professional and then put in suspended animation until I needed to caffeinate someone
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Missing full stop.
Mr Zoat said:
"Alright then. I want you to be happier. Because you have been happier, and we both know a route to that level of happiness."

"And route that has you and your girlfriend living at opposite ends of the galaxy."
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'A'

Not sure if we've seen such an explanation of why Jade is elsewhere before, but if we have I forgot it. So I liked the explanation.
 
Mr Zoat said:
18th July 2013
10:52 GMT -5

Selina takes a sip of coffee, and appears to grudgingly decide that it's of acceptable quality. Not cat-poo coffee, not The Black Blood of the Earth, just good quality beans roasted by a professional and then put in suspended animation until I needed to caffeinate someone

I've been popping back to Jade's apartment at least once a week, and between that and the atmospheric filtration system I built in it's in perfect condition, but…
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And sometimes, 'acceptable' is fine, especially in a professional situation. One language the Ring can't help OL with is the language of coffee, after all. As for the apartment, I hope that system also gives the sink drains an occasional flush, that can make a place smelly...

It's… Empty. She hasn't lived here in over a year, I haven't lived here for nearly as long. I was appearing wherever she was stationed to sleep when she was on a low-intensity mission, but I stopped doing that when the broadcast happened so that I could be on call immediately when some new disaster happened. I suppose I could start again now… But with Batman doing whatever he's doing with the Global Peace Agency, I don't…
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Still, it essentially costs nothing to maintain, and having a place to put someone up that isn't in the middle of a desert is always useful.

I consider Selina.

Hm.

I take a plate of shortbread out of subspace and offer them to her with a smile.
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And before anyone asks, he means biscuits. Not baked goods.

Her suspicion visible increases.

"I didn't spike the shortbread. I realised that I pushed you in a way that was unproductive, so I want to patch things up."
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Ah, ever mindful of team morale, eh?

"But not apologise."

I shrug. "I see what I see. I believe that I'm correct, but I should have approached it better, particularly when you reacted negatively."
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Yeah, sometimes, OL, your full-frontal assault approach to problem-solving isn't the best one.

I put the plate of shortbread down on the sideboard next to her.

"How is Karon actually doing?"
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Since I assume Selina has more regular contact with her than OL does,

"Haven't you asked her?"

"Of course I've asked her. And when I do, she comes up with immediate practical issues and I've helped her deal with them. What she's never voluntarily mentioned is how she feels about her 'Mistress' phase."
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That, folks, is called 'deflection'. Productive, but unhealthy.

"Have you tried telling her that you're an empath?"

"Would you like me to bend over and hand you a paddle?"
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I mean, she probably does feel like giving you a beating occasionally.

She looks away for a moment, smiling wistfully. "I used to charge three hundred dollars an hour for that."

"Really? Gosh."
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I would assume that's high-class stuff.

Her eyes are back on me. "And what does that mean?"

I shrug. "I've never used a prostitute or been involved in vice policing. I don't really know what it costs to hire someone, but that sounds like a lot. Which means that if I've got my timelines right, you must have reached the top of your field fairly quickly."
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I'm guessing it's a comparatively short time.

"Or I convinced people that I had."

"Isn't that what being a dominatrix is all about anyway?"
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A good one, anyway. There's a degree of care involved in it, after all.

"True, but you have to judge what the client can afford. I didn't have the luxury of going without work to satiate my ego."

"Um. Going..? Is this a good point to go back to our prior discussion about what you want in a romantic partner? Because if what you're after is 'bad boy on the streets, naughty boy in the sheets', then it-"
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The lady has very particular tastes. Nothing wrong with that.

She chuckles, dipping her head slightly.

"-clarifies things for me, but it cuts down the range of possible candidates a good deal. Like… A lot."
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At least on the side of the angels. Then again, I wouldn't go anywhere near some of the Gotham rogues with a ten-foot-pole.

"You're not letting go of this, are you?"

"I want you to be happy."
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Problem is, OL...

"I am happy." I open my mouth slightly and raise my eyebrows. "Yes, I haven't forgotten that you're an empath. I think what's tripping you up is our very different standards for 'being happy'."

"Alright then. I want you to be happier. Because you have been happier, and we both know a route to that level of happiness."
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...And sometimes, people want to be grumpy. Sometimes for longer than is healthy.

"And route that has you and your girlfriend living at opposite ends of the galaxy."

"That was my fault."

"I suspected as much." She nods. "You seem to have a knack for insulting people."
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Actually, it's something else entirely. Not that he doesn't have a talent for upsetting people.

"No, a-. The first time we met, I grabbed her with a tentacle construct and said 'stop moving, I've seen this film and it doesn't end well for the Asian woman'. At-"

Her eyes boggle, and she snorts with laughter.
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I'm impressed she recognises the concept, but given the likelihood of some of her clients having those tastes...

"-the time she was too distracted to hear it, but when I visited later to apologise for saying something that inappropriate she actually found it funny. Not the.. comment itself so much as the juxtaposition between the crudeness of the comment being delivered by someone as clean cut as myself speaking with a received pronunciation English accent." I find myself smiling. "I think it was that which convinced her to tolerate me visiting her; I'd be an entertaining distraction if nothing else."
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And making her laugh was a good first step.

"So why is she on the other side of the galaxy?"

"She wanted to establish her independence. When one party in a relationship is rich… Approaching the dreams of avarice… And has superpowers…" Selina nods. "I could probably have talked her into staying, but I could see that would be setting myself-. Setting us up for trouble in the long run. Unless I could make us more… Equal. I offered to train her to use an orange power ring, but her first try… Didn't go well. Or rather, it went well for the people of Vietnam, but she found it unsettling. She didn't like the loss of control. So, I knew that the Darkstars were on the lookout for people with her skill set, I knew it would satisfy her desires… So I suggested it. We're spending a lot more time apart than I'd like, but she's satisfied in a professional way that she wouldn't have been on Earth."
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I bet the people of that region have never been healthier in recent memory, certainly.

"Did you tell her that?"

"Yes, of course. And after everyone started making 'if she's moved to the other end of the galaxy then she's probably dumped you' jibes then I made it clear to her that I didn't like being apart as much as we were, but that I wasn't going to try and insist on changing things."
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Certainly, having someone like OL as a partner is nice, once you get used to dealign with his quirks...

"Because that would violate her trust."

"Yes."

"Huh. I hate to say it… I mean, I really hate to say it, but I think that's the best thing you could do."
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Certainly, given how he focuses on things so intently, having him around more might well have messed up any relationship otherwise.

"I was visiting regularly, then someone Anti-Lifed the Earth. So… About Batman-."

"So close. No, you need to let me process what you just said about your relationship before we go back to talking about mine."
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You do know that your former relationship with batman isn't the only bit of business he's dealing with, remember?

"No, I mean, you know him better than me. What do you think about the Global Peace Agency?"

"That he finally hired more help than Alfred? That if he'd done that years ago we might have had more time together?"
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Heh. Of course she'd look at it that way.

"You don't have any concerns?"

"No. Do you?"

"I'd have concerns about anyone getting as much power as he's got. But just about everyone I've asked doesn't really see the problem so I'm wondering if-."
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At some point, OL, you do have to wonder...

"It's-" She nods. "-just you."

I sigh. "That's the conclusion I'm coming to, yes. So, what's been happening in Gotham lately?"
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Still, letting it go completely might result in him being blindsided when things go mammaries-skyward.

Got to enjoy it when OL has these little chats, where it becomes clear that he's not really thinking like most people do. Sadly, he's not likely to care much, given his current mental conditioning. As for Selina, I think she is starting to realise that it is over concerning batman, and she's going to have to settle for a lesser man. Probably for the best, given how damaged he has historically been.
 
Chojin Patriarch said:
Got to enjoy it when OL has these little chats, where it becomes clear that he's not really thinking like most people do. Sadly, he's not likely to care much, given his current mental conditioning. As for Selina, I think she is starting to realise that it is over concerning batman, and she's going to have to settle for a lesser man. Probably for the best, given how damaged he has historically been.
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To be fair, OL was already weird even before he achieved enlightenment. Seriously, if you go back and read the chapters before he met Ophidian, his personality and thought process aren't that different from how he is now.
 
Honestly with batman sliding down the yellow-paved slope to fascism it'll be interesting to see how things page out, especially with Earth in such genuinely bad shape a benevolent dictator is going to be seen as a step up. (and with a profound amount of people genuinely traumatised enough to want their personalities and memories wiped away. That suicidal ideation sure does hit huh).

on a completely different note I'm almost shocked we havent seen a Mystery men side-Paul. seems like it'd be right in their wheelhouse.
 
Yockranon said:
Honestly with batman sliding down the yellow-paved slope to fascism it'll be interesting to see how things page out, especially with Earth in such genuinely bad shape a benevolent dictator is going to be seen as a step up. (and with a profound amount of people genuinely traumatised enough to want their personalities and memories wiped away. That suicidal ideation sure does hit huh).

on a completely different note I'm almost shocked we havent seen a Mystery men side-Paul. seems like it'd be right in their wheelhouse.
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Fascism is a discrete thing. Please do not refer to every form of dystopia as 'fascist'.
 
Harem Tragedy (part 4)
Late-Autumn, IC 690, A Few Minutes Later

Warrior Bunnies don't really understand military discipline.

The legions of the Saderan Empire are trained to fight in tight formation, walls of tower shields protecting the soldiers behind them, short swords stabbing out against anyone trying to batter them down. Moving or fighting in that sort of formation requires a high degree of training, as well as officers who issue clear commands so that everyone knows how they're supposed to be moving. A charging Warrior Bunny is perfectly capable of bowling over a single legionary. A hundred Warrior Bunnies can't knock over a formation of a hundred legionaries because there isn't room for them to fall as the first rank are supported by all of those behind them.

According to one of the veterans of Prince Zorzal's campaign, some Warrior Bunnies took to grabbing the edges of their shields and wrenching them away with brute force. That would create a point of vulnerability in the formation… But would also give the legionary an opening to cut off their fingers. And given that he has a pouch of finger bones…

My point is that while legionaries would form up in a circle around someone they were protecting or someone they were keeping watch on, the Warrior Bunnies just sort of cluster up. They stand around in whatever they as individuals think is an appropriate distance… And their decani usually don't bother sorting them out or telling them to get back to work.

Which means that one slightly built nervous looking elf woman is currently being loomed over by about thirty Warrior Bunnies, and I can feel it as Diabo realises what I already know: one of them is going to pick a fight unless someone smacks them upside-

"Oi!"

-the head.

Chief Eithne raises her staff, glaring at her unruly followers.

"How many of you are supposed to be on guard duty?"

Watching a group of six foot tall gym bunnies who are armed to the teeth shuffle awkwardly is always an entertaining sight, though I suspect that Diabo is too nervous about them to appreciate it. A few of the more intelligent ones back away from the rear of the crowd to return to what they're supposed to be doing.

"We are guarding her!"

If I could breathe, I'd have breathed in sharply at that comment. Somebunny doesn't know when to shut up.

Somebunny who just got bashed over the head with a staff.

"Ow!"

"And who's guarding the camp now, idiot?!"

"Tioanna i-." She looks around and spots an even more nervous looking Warrior Bunny who was trying to return to her duties but was too hemmed in by the huddle. "Hey, why are you here?! Ow!"

"Don't blame other people when you bunk off! Tioanna!"

Tioanna edges forwards, bracing herself for staff impact. "Yes Chief!"

"Take your squad and get back on guard duty!"

Tioanna hesitates, perhaps expecting a staff strike on general principles. When one doesn't come she starts pushing her way through the crowd, grabbing those who I assume are part of her squad and pulling them with her.

The rest look a little relieved.

"As for the rest of you! The Prince's dragon hasn't-" The elf twitches. "-been mucked out for a few days!"

The entire crowd cringes. Dragons can produce a lot of excrement, particularly when their keeper doesn't know exactly what they're supposed to be fed on.

Chief Eithne raises her staff again. "Get to it!"

Ears down, the crowd begins to trudge away towards the dragon enclosure.

"And you!" The elf cringes slightly, covering her head with her forearms. But Eithne lowers her staff. "What do you want?"

Prince Diabo approaches, and tries to gently push Chief Eithne out of the way. Since she's about half again his size, she doesn't move. Sighing, he generates a large gauntlet construct, picks her up with it and deposits her to the side.

The elf stares wide-eyed as he steps forwards.

"I am Prince Diabo El Caesar. Who are you, and why are you here?"

That's an improvement on how he used to speak to people in situations like this. And goodness knows it's superior to throwing them in the dungeons like his brother would. But he wanted to use Warrior Bunnies as sentries because they're loyal to him personally and thoroughly despise his brother, which means he has to deal with their lack of professionalism.

The elf straightens up slightly.

"I am Tuka Luna Marceau, of Koan Forest. Are you the one who defeated the ancient dragon three years ago?"

He nods. "Yes, that was me. It is my duty to protect the lands of the Empire."

She looks him over a little dubiously. Okay, a glowing orange gauntlet is a little impressive, but it's not beat-ancient-dragon impressive.

"Um. How?"

"I am favoured by the God of Ambition." He raises his left hand slightly, and I make a point of glowing more brightly. "The dragon now serves me."

"Oh! Are you an Apostle?"

"Ah, no."

She looks more dubious, and then looks around… She's trying to spot the wizard who actually made the gauntlet appear. Hah!

"Um…"

"He is, in fact, my most favoured servant. Prince Diabo, why don't you call the dragon over?"

He looks over towards the dragon pen, and his eyes glow. In the distance I can see movement, and I hear the brief exclamation of surprise from the Warrior Bunnies assigned to stable hand duties. He then turns back to Miss Marceau. "It should be-."

Miss Marceau is now kneeling, head bowed.

"Here in a moment. Why are you kneeling?"

"The dragon was attacking my village when you stopped it." She raises her head to look up at him. "We would have all been killed if it wasn't for you!"

"Ah. You're welcome, but as I said, it is my duty-."

"I must repay you! My people's honour demands it!"

I can feel his fear of letting an unknown person anywhere near him, but he does manage to quash it reasonably quickly.

"I suppose that a trade-."

"Your guards are too undisciplined! Let me be your bodyguard in their place!"

And to my pleasure, he uses the orange light to probe her desires before saying anything. Yes, yes, looks like she's being entirely genuine. And she certainly doesn't work for Prince Zorzal.

"Alright… Why don't you-" The dragon lands next to us with a crash. "-come inside, and we can talk-."

"HEY!" A strange-looking woman armed with a scythe is marching across the field, Tioanna's squad trying and.. failing to hit her as she effortlessly sidesteps or parries every attack. "What are you doing with my dragon!"
 
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