1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

And the Force Shall Guide Me [Star Wars SI]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Jemnite, Dec 3, 2016.

Tags:
Loading...
  1. Threadmarks: Prologue
    Jemnite

    Jemnite Academic

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    400
    I stood at the threshold of Master Quinn's meditation chamber and hesitated, my foot on the threshold. I reminded myself that fear was the path to the dark side. It was the little death that brought total obliteration. I breathed in deep, let it pass over me, and when I released that breath, I felt calmer. The fear was still there, just.... less. That would have to do. I stepped over the threshold.

    "Master Quinn?"

    Master Quinn turned around, stepping out of the meditative pose she had been in. She was a rich Orchid toned Twi'lek with kind, matronly features. Her long, draping robes swept the floor as she moved. "Miri'llen, it's good to see you again."

    "You as well, Master." I paused, waiting for her to continue. She didn't seem inclined to breech the topic, though, so after a brief moment of silence, I did. "Master Quinn, may I inquire about why you called me?"

    "You may."

    Another beat of silence. I fidgeted and twisted the skin of my wrist with my other hand nervously. "Then... Master, why have you called me?"

    Master Quinn smiled. "I wanted to have a chat. About your future." That certainly didn't sound worrisome at all. "But first, would you like have a drink? Any refreshments?"

    I felt like saying no, but my mouth did feel really dry and I didn't want to reject Master Quinn's hospitality out of hand. After a moment of thought, I jerkily nodded my head. "Yes, please, if it's not imposing."

    Master Quinn nodded, still smiling, and began bustling about the room. There was the simmer of a heat plate in the back of the room, and the rustling of bags of various bags of dried vegetation. I could smell something rich and strong brewing in the back of the room. "Do you drink Sapir Tea?"

    I nodded noncommittally. Sure. I had never had it before, but something about the smell stuck in the craws of my memory. Its aroma billowed outwards, filling the room as Master Quinn let it steep in its pot.

    "How have you been, Miri'llen?" Master Quinn procured two wooden stools for us to rest on. I dropped onto one. "Good, I hope? Getting along with the rest of your clan?"

    I shrugged. "Alright, I guess." I didn't tend to see them much to be honest, mostly due to my own fault. I... didn't want to get too close to them. I knew it was a bit rude of me, but I didn't know if I could deal if I made friends with them and then watched them die. It might have been craven of me, but I kept my heart closed and locked it up under tight bars of formality.

    But I didn't tell Master Quinn any of that. Instead, I fidgeted on my stool some more.

    "I see you've been taking a lot of xenobiology and healing courses, focusing on medical fields." Master Quinn poured me a clay cup of the strong, aromatic tea as she smoke. I took a hold of it gently in both my hands. The fragrant, relaxing steam wafted out of the tall ridged cup. I took a sip, and felt my cheeks color as I accidentally made a loud and wet slurping noise. Whoops. "As well as some minor engineering courses, though you've been only taking the bare minimum of combat courses."

    "...I don't like fighting." I admitted. The concept of striking another sentient being, even in self defense, was off putting to me. Jedi were creatures of peace and order, not brutish violence, but I suspect even in the Jedi my pacifist ideals were beyond strange.

    Master Quinn who knew nothing of my secret self-doubts patted my hand gently. "None of us do, Miri'llen. But sometimes, we must use the saber as a weapon of last resort. The galaxy is never as kind as we want it to be, and Jedi are defenders of more than just their own lives. And when the time for arms passes, we will lay them down and return to peace."

    I nodded without heart. She was right, of course. I just hoped she would be able to apply it.

    "You are doing well in your courses, your instructors tell me that you have a thirst for learning and pursue your studies with a powerful, if erratic, drive. Some of them have even extended an offer of apprenticeship. But according to them, you've turned them all down."

    Oh. So it was that, then. I put my Sapir tea down in my legs, cradled between my legs and sighed, breathing out rich spice filled breath. Master Quinn took a sip of her Sapir tea. No slurping noises there. "Master, I just didn't feel like that was the right path for me."

    "Miri'llen, I understand that perhaps being the apprentice of a Temple Instructor is not the most glamorous or exciting, but it is still very rewarding." Master Quinn spoke with a kind, yet firm tone. "But more importantly, you cannot pin your hopes forever on catching an exciting Jedi Knight or Master's eye. If it is not in the Force, it is not in the Force. And if you forgive me for being too forward, I do not think your combat skills are strong enough to attract a apprenticeship through winning the tournament."

    Master Quinn's eyes were bright with worry and I felt a pale shade of self-awareness fall over me and I looked down. I had probably disappointed her- was disappointing her. I looked down. But I was probably going to disappoint her some more. "Master. I don't want to become a padawan."

    Master Quinn was honestly perplexed. "What?"

    ...how... how to say it? I fidgeted with the cup of Sapir Tea held in my hands, between my legs. There wasn't really an easy way to say it, so I just blurted it all out in a rush. "Master Quinn, I want to join the Service Corps!"

    In that moment, after I had confessed what might have been the most career ambition that Master Quinn had ever heard, except for the pot of Sapir still burbling in the background, there was nothing but silence. You could have heard the noise of a pin hitting the ground, had someone dropped one.

    It was an awkwardly long amount of time, before I dared to move again. I looked up at Master Quinn's face, and saw nothing but shock. The Service Corps were not a branch of the Jedi Order Initiates ascribed to, it was a branch they were threatened with. I think I might have truly blindsided her with that confession.

    She tried to recover. "Miri'llen, you... have a lot of potential. Are... are you sure?"

    I nodded. "I'm sure, Master."

    The conversation didn't last for much long after. I think Master Quinn truly couldn't think of anything else to say after what I had said. Clawmouse Clan had never been the clan of the most ambitious young initiates, but usually younglings had grander career ambitions other than 'spend the rest of their lives watching plants grow' or 'journey on a ship to a far away place, where you'll probably be spending most of your time trying not to bore yourself in space, the other tiny portion slogging through knee deep swamps and having a miserable time'. And I think she really did think I had potential. But, I told her I wanted to join the Service Corps and that was that.

    As I trudged my way back to the dormitories, I passed a droid polishing and buffing up a wall. The droid was a little round thing, with a diameter about the length of my arm and a thickness the length of my hand. A variety of various cleaning tools extruded from slots on its back like manipulator tentacles and it hung in the air by a tiny inbuilt repulsorlift. It had been working on that section an abnormally long time, and I wandered up to it, wondering if it was defective.

    It didn't notice my approach until I tapped it gently on the back, upon which it made a couple of rapid beeping noises at me. I shrugged back at it. I couldn't understand droid. "I think you've been working on this section long enough. I can almost see my reflection."

    It wobbled in the air, as if it was taking another examination of the wall and then jolted suddenly in place. With a series of beeps that sounded almost sheepish, it flew off, down the hallway. I started off after it, a bit amused and a bit confused. Droids were so weird. I don't think I'd ever get used to them.

    With a sigh, I turned back to the wall. I actually could see my reflection in the wall. The droid had ton a real number on it. I waved at it and my mirror self waved back at me.

    She was a young human girl, hoping to reach the first growing stages of adolescence soon and potentially become taller, but sadly acceptant of the possibility that she would probably be shorter than everyone else for a good while yet. Dark black hair fell from her head in twin pigtails, and her skin was so pale it was blotched with sections of pink where the blood underneath colored it. Brown eyes narrowed back at me. What was this dork looking at? I punched her, and then winced as I found out to my dismay that the wall was tougher than my knuckles. Owwwww.

    There was a beeping sound behind me, and I turned around to the cleaning droid back again. It beeped angrily at me, and motioned me aside, where it began to clean up the misty foggy stain here my fist had left its imprint against the wall.

    Oh. Yeah. Right. My bad.

    I backed away slowly, waving the cleaning droid to its work and began walking slowly back towards the dormitory, thinking back on my meeting with Master Quinn. In truth, there was one more thing I hadn't mentioned to the matronly Twi'lek master. I wasn't just joining the Service Corps for not reason. No, there was a method to my madness. I was joining it because it would be the most likely way to survive. The Service Corps would be spread out, far flung across the galaxy, with little active supervision. It would be easy to escape from the eyes of the galactic government in the service corps. Easy to shed the name of the Jedi. Easy to flee into the Outer Rim with nothing to track me down.

    Because the one thing I hadn't told Master Quinn was this: I knew what the future held in store. Fire, death, and destruction. The systematic eradication of the Jedi order, and the rise of the Sith to the reigns of the galactic government. Almost twenty years of rule under a despotic empire, held in check by a traitorous Sith once of the Jedi Order's own fold.

    I flopped onto my bed, and stared up at the ceiling. I wasn't going to be able to stop any of that. The clone wars were already beginning, and by the time destruction would come for us, I wouldn't even have become a knight. My best chances, of survival, thus, lay with the Service Corps. It was cold blooded fear and the desire for survival which drove me to pursue this plan.

    It's just too bad the Force had other plans.


    Sure why not
     
  2. BlueHelix

    BlueHelix I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2016
    Messages:
    940
    Likes Received:
    5,373
    Oh, this looks good! The SFW part of this site needs some padding out, and man, this has potential to grow.

    I'm looking forward to this. Ah, Jemnite please threadmark your story/information posts so navigation will be easier later on,
     
  3. Valor

    Valor Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2015
    Messages:
    2,070
    Likes Received:
    29,303
    I don't really get why the MC doesn't just plainly state that Palpatine is the evul Sith Lord and Dooku his apprentice. Plop in some info on Asajj Ventress and when they show up your nonsensical ramblings suddenly looks a lot more impressive. Do this through a droid or something. Then disappear into the Corps shortly afterwards, anonymous and safe. Bam. Jedi Order saved.

    Right information to the rigth people.

    I get that it's more 'dramatic' and 'easier' to build a story with plenty of antagonistic pieces in play, but, well... It really doesn't paint the MC in any kind of positive light whatsoever, and make you question their intelligence. It's as if you plopp a 50-year old, time-traveling Harry Potter back into his first year, and then follow canon like a fanatic.

    Other than that this was an excellent and interesting read. The little robot was really cute too and I'm looking forward to how this develops.
     
  4. d.fish

    d.fish Lés Bien

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,913
    Likes Received:
    239,816
    I think that's more your stylistic differences. Valor likes to deviate from canon, which is nice an all, but that assumes absolute competence and nothing happening to cause elements to plan around your plan. Jemnite is a cute little memelord, and thus he does things off the cuff. You guys have very different perspectives on how the world is perceived, and this friction is from Valor preferring self-indulgent, unrealistic fantasies whereas Jemnite likes to keep things more believable and cute. Not saying either one is wrong or any other type of absolute, I actually like both, but your critique just emphasizes how different your perspectives are.
     
  5. A/N

    A/N Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    3,539
    Likes Received:
    21,825
    Eh, to me it's more of an issue about characters with foreknowledge not using it in the simplest way that might have the most benefit.

    If you know Palpatine is the Sith Lord, there needs to be a good reason not to tell the Jedi. If you don't, and you don't have a plan or motive not to, then it's just silly. If you don't warn them, you are partly responsible for the Clone Wars with who knows how many deaths, the annihilation of a peaceful planet, the subjugation of the Republic and more by a Dark Lord of the Sith, the racism and pain and evil of the Empire...

    Yes, it deviates from canon, but then it should, and interesting things can happen as a result. Keeping things on the canon track when canon ends with genocides is generally not a good thing.

    Cute and believable? Try cowardly and evil, instead.

    At least send in a note or something!
     
  6. Winged One

    Winged One Not the Simurgh

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2013
    Messages:
    13,054
    Likes Received:
    33,769
    How would the SI convince anyone of these things without proof? Further, Jemnite might not think he's a brave enough person to even try, considering how fucking dangerous the attempt would be.
     
    Salbazier and Beyogi like this.
  7. A/N

    A/N Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    3,539
    Likes Received:
    21,825
    Sending an anonymous note via droids would not be that complicated. Sure, it's still a huge risk, what with Force-shenanigans, but if your goal is to be way out somewhere remote anyway, there are definitely ways to get the message through.

    To be believed, all you would have to do is lay out some information that would become clear with time or that they could check. Like the a Trade Federation/Naboo blockade, Darth Maul, Anakin, Dooku leaving the Order, Kamino, etc or perhaps other things depending upon where abouts in the timeline you are.

    If if just one Jedi remembers the crazy idea that Palpatine might be the Sith Lord and talks about it when he becomes Supreme Chancellor, then they'd have a chance. Yoda, Windu, a bunch of others and plenty of camera's live streaming the confrontation? Destroy's Palpatine's legitimacy and likely his life.

    Boom, done, Jedi, Republic and Alderan saved or at least given a fighting chance.

    Yes, Sidious might escape and try actually winning with the droid army. Yes, things can spiral out of control. But leaving things as they are is worse. At least with the information there is a really good chance to actually save things.

    That's where an interesting story can come into being.

    Not giving the warning is allowing the evil space wizard Hitler/Stalin to come into power and proclaim himself God-Emprah, when he could be stopped early by a single note.
     
    transhumansage likes this.
  8. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,098
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    this. but you don't have to be upfront and barefaced about it. disguise yourself leave a detailed recorded mesage, about stuff only a viewer from beyond the 4th wall can know. then tell them everything. tell them if they ignore it a lot of children will get killed in the future. that ought to capture yoda's attention. if they investigate and kill palpatine, then you saved a lot of people. if they don't, you did the best you could. for that I have some tips/suggetions for that in the next post. right now I have to go.
     
  9. A/N

    A/N Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    3,539
    Likes Received:
    21,825
    Who said anything about being 'upfront and barefaced'? I meant like an anonymous email! Delivered by droid when the MC is far away.
     
  10. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,098
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    Sorry I got a case of foot in mouth diesease
     
  11. A/N

    A/N Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2016
    Messages:
    3,539
    Likes Received:
    21,825
    Nah, I wasn't clear about that part at all.

    I wonder just how properly paranoid you'd have to be to get a truely anonymous message without the Sith finding out who sent it.
     
    transhumansage likes this.
  12. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,098
    Likes Received:
    2,942
    you never know you know. by this point sidious' network of information should span most of the galactic political map. there is always a risk. but hey so is trying to run away from darth vader. any its always up to the author if she wants t spill or not.
     
  13. GSpectre

    GSpectre Lurker

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2015
    Messages:
    348
    Likes Received:
    4,147
    First, Jemnite, interesting start, i look forward to seeing where this goes. I appreciate you aren't going to be trying to run the standard save everyone shtick, and it makes for an interesting premise.

    Second, on exposing Palpatine, just sending a random note is... rather pointless, Palpatine, even before he became the chancellor was a major senator and as such had enough public presence to attract cranks of all types, i imagine that the Jedi order gets ten to twenty thousand notes all detailing how this politician or that politician is a Sith/Dark Jedi/ Darksider per week. The shear scale of the SW's galaxy ensures that. So how would the SI make their note stand out, and be believed? The only way to impart the knowledge to the rest of the Jedi and be believed would be to actually have a force vision, penetrating the veil of the dark side, and then not botching up the subsequent interrogation when a lowly padawan/initiate/ whatever managed to do something that the master of the order failed to do. Please also remember that the Jedi order and its members were experts at detecting lies and falsehoods, so you would need to have actually had a force vision and then managed to beat the masters of the word game at their own game on their own ground. While saying that exposing Palpatine is easy, it really isn't once you get around to trying to plot it out.
     
  14. Beyogi

    Beyogi I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2014
    Messages:
    953
    Likes Received:
    2,483
    Well this is interesting. You just try to get away... but considering the ominious end of the prologue I don't think the force is going to let you.
     
Loading...