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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Reader mode
Doccer said:
Say what now?
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In the bad future, humanity and the Sentinels teamed up to fight the mutants.

The humans let the Sentinels use genetic engineering to win the biological arms race.

The result was not humans but with superpowers. It wasn't transhumanism.

The result was homo sapiens sapiens going extinct as the Sentinel made Homo Novissima took over the Earth.

"Wise Man" was replaced with the "Last Man." And in thise case, it's apparently quite literal. They are a different species, not like the hyperbole of mutants being "Homo Superior" which is just garbage.

Humanity won the war against mutants but still went the way of the Neanderthal.

So it's not such a bad future for Homo Novissima, I suppose, but for humanity? They're dead, Jim.
 
I don't think you know what post-human even means. It's just a form of transhumanism. Some might even consider it the end state of transhumanism.

Humans turned themselves into these post-humans through widespread genetic engineering and cybernetic enhancement, but they're as much a separate species from humanity as mutants are. Which is to say they're not a separate species at all. Ultimately they're just humans that can control their development instead of relying on random mutation.

Calling them Homo novissima is just as ridiculous as calling mutants Homo superior.

8925738-branching_humanity.jpg
 
HappyHappy (part 8) New
1st September 2013
08:31 GMT

We're not technically in competition with McDonalds. In fact, there have been several Cadbury-themed McFlurries over the years. But I'm sure that their CEO has a sense of humour, and Mr. Queen looks suitably braced.

First, the evidence plays on the screen. It's basically free advertising.

"Lettuce, and cheese." The middle aged man who really wants us to know that he uses an expensive dentist gestures with his right hand at the chicken burger in his left. "And of course the McDonalds Big Mac sauce. But we now have two chicken patties. So… Let's give this a try."

He takes a bite, chews very briefly, and then-.

I'm on screen, 'shoving' the video window out of the way. "He spat it out! He just spat it out!" I brandish a Cadbury Dairy Milk with Biscuit in anger. "I don't know how they do things at McDonalds-" I chomp, swallow, and then thrust the remains of the bar at an extra. "-but here at Cadbury, we stand by our products!"

The camera follows me as I march right through a field of ankle-length grass.

"The finest organic cocoa!"

I tear off my jacket, pulling it to pieces and tossing it to the ground.

"The finest organic sugar!"

My shirt is next, revealing the upper part of an full-body bathing costume.

"Milk from grass-fed cows!"

I rip off my trousers, revealing the lower part of the swimming costume.

"And how much do I like it!?"

I stop marching, stare at the camera and point right at the lens with my right forefinger.

"I will show you! Right here! Right now!"

Across the boardroom table, Mr. Queen slides down slightly in his seat.

The camera pulls out slightly, revealing a Cadbury-branded vat with a diving board mounted onto the side. I kick off my shoes and begin climbing, clearly putting effort into it in my eagerness to get to the top as the camera pulls out further to show the gathering crowd of extras. Reaching the top, I pull my rings off and hand them to the duty Cadbury-branded lifeguard.

"How much do I like it!?"

I rip off my swimming costume and toss it aside revealing my trunks underneath. Then I run along the diving board, twisting as I come off the end. The view switches to the overhead camera as I fall back-first into the vat of molten chocolate, arms and legs spread wide.

"THIS MUUUUUUUCH!"

Across from me, Mr. Queen snerks quietly into his clenched right fist as screen me lands and is enveloped by the brown liquid. The camera stays on me for several seconds.

"Cadbury chocolate."

The camera switches back to a side view of me surfacing and trying to swim to the side of the vat, the voiceover extremely flat and unexcited.

"The boss is rather fond of it."

And then it's the end card, and I turn fully to Mr. Queen.

"Well?"

He… Takes a moment.

"Does the McDonalds guy really look like that?"

"We did not alter that image at all."

He takes another moment, then shakes his head. "How do you get the idea for this?"

"Well, that was inspired by an advert for blackcurrant Tango that played on British television when I was a boy."

"How..? Closely inspired?"

"Ah… In their version, a spokesman for blackcurrant Tango takes exception to a mildly-worded complaint, rants defiantly at the camera while stripping down to his boxer shorts, gets into a boxing ring and challenges anyone who doesn't like blackcurrant Tango to fight him. It shouldn't be a… Copyright problem, if that's what you're worried about."

"Okay. Ah. Was that real chocolate?"

I frown faintly. "It would rather undermine the advert if it wasn't."

"Yeah, that's… That's true. Okay, I can't argue that your original series actually… Played pretty well in the U.S.. Though that might have just been because there's nothing else on."

"I'm not getting into television. I barely touch bases with the companies I own-"

"I know."

"-as it is. And I don't think that importing alien television-." Hm. "Can you think of anyone who might be interested in Thanagarian television?"

"I don't have those kind of connections, but, probably? There's a big market for cheap content right now, because no one's got the money for anything else."

"I'll talk to Bleez about setting something up."

"Is she still here?" He sounds surprised. "I thought she was just here for a visit."

"She's rented a studio. I think she's been inspired. And that near-miss with the Yellow Lantern recruit shook her up more than I thought."

Particularly after I warned her about it.

He smiles. "Good. For a minute there I was kinda worried you'd learned the wrong lessons from my life."

"I'd have had the sense to move her out before Jade got back-."

He snorts. "You'd think, but when you've got a lot on your mind-."

"So: the advert. What do you actually think?"

"Ah, it sticks in the mind. Paul…"

"If you don't like it-."

"I don't think it really matters what ads we run."

"It doesn't? Because at this point brand recognition-."

"Most cocoa comes from West Africa. Some used to come from South America, but then…"

"The Accala, right."

"And with international shipping barely alive, Cadbury Logistics is basically the only source, and that's competing with everything else we're transporting. Cadbury Logistics is Cadbury Logistics, with everyone else using our spare capacity. Between the high demand and the fact that production is way down, other chocolate companies can't compete for the bottom or the middle of the market. Unless you try running an ad where you take a dump in our vats, I don't think it will make any difference."

"Oh. But, the reviews?"

"People usually find them funny, but that doesn't necessarily translate into sales. Guess it helps with your public image. You wanna run it?" He shrugs. "Run it. It probably won't help but at least it won't hurt."

"Yeah, yeah, run it then."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes. It looks like we're being used for drug trafficking. Any idea how they're doing that?"
 
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Mr Zoat said:
We're not technically in competition with McDonalds. In fact, there have been several Cadbury-themed McFlurries over the years. But I'm sure that their CEO has a sense of humour, and Mr. Queen looks suitably braced.
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Now this reminded me of this.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpC_U-BncA8

Paul would do something like what the Joker did and explain why a company does certain things.
Mr Zoat said:
"Okay. Ah. Was that real chocolate?"

I frown faintly. "It would rather undermine the advert if it wasn't."
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Gross.
 
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Mr Zoat said:
1st September 2013
08:31 GMT

We're not technically in competition with McDonalds. In fact, there have been several Cadbury-themed McFlurries over the years. But I'm sure that their CEO has a sense of humour, and Mr. Queen looks suitably braced.

First, the evidence plays on the screen. It's basically free advertising.
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Ah, fitting in some business in with his other concerns, eh? I suppose Ollie does need to occasionally talk to him about actual Cadbury's stuff, in between heroing stuff. So why not fit it all in one sitting?

"Lettuce, and cheese." The middle aged man who really wants us to know that he uses an expensive dentist gestures with his right hand at the chicken burger in his left. "And of course the McDonalds Big Mac sauce. But we now have two chicken patties. So… Let's give this a try."
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I mean, the editing could easily hid him swallowing. But this is honestly silly, really. Maybe he decided he didn't like it, or was just wiping his mouth (although using a brown wrapper thing looks nasty.) Either way, it gets attention, and in advertising, any attention is good attention.

He takes a bite, chews very briefly, and then-.

I'm on screen, 'shoving' the video window out of the way. "He spat it out! He just spat it out!" I brandish a Cadbury Dairy Milk with Biscuit in anger. "I don't know how they do things at McDonalds-" I chomp, swallow, and then thrust the remains of the bar at an extra. "-but here at Cadbury, we stand by our products!"
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Ah, OL's got another of those ads going again, eh?

The camera follows me as I march right through a field of ankle-length grass.

"The finest organic cocoa!"
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You know, OL, this is going to surpass your 'Cake Man' epithet...

I tear off my jacket, pulling it to pieces and tossing it to the ground.

"The finest organic sugar!"
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Ah, tearaway clothing. Always useful for superheroes.

My shirt is next, revealing the upper part of an full-body bathing costume.

"Milk from grass-fed cows!"
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And suddenly a chunk of the female audience are paying more attention. And more than a few gay men, of course.

I rip off my trousers, revealing the lower part of the swimming costume.

"And how much do I like it!?"
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And another chunk!

I stop marching, stare at the camera and point right at the lens with my right forefinger.

"I will show you! Right here! Right now!"

Across the boardroom table, Mr. Queen slides down slightly in his seat.
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Well, he isn't banging his head on the desk yet, or rolling his face back and forth on it, in distress...

The camera pulls out slightly, revealing a Cadbury-branded vat with a diving board mounted onto the side. I kick off my shoes and begin climbing, clearly putting effort into it in my eagerness to get to the top as the camera pulls out further to show the gathering crowd of extras. Reaching the top, I pull my rings off and hand them to the duty Cadbury-branded lifeguard.
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...Because of course he's meeting all safety requirements.

"How much to I like it!?"

I rip off my swimming costume and toss it aside revealing my trunks underneath. Then I run along the diving board, twisting as I come off the end. The view switches to the overhead camera as I fall back-first into the vat of molten chocolate, arms and legs spread wide.
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Somehow, I don't think it's the product that's getting people to enjoy these ads.

"THIS MUUUUUUUCH!"

Across from me, Mr. Queen snerks quietly into his clenched right fist as screen me lands and is enveloped by the brown liquid. The camera stays on me for several seconds.
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Would have been funnier if he just full-body flopped into it, laid on the surface and slowly sank into it... 😅

"Cadbury chocolate."

The camera switches back to a side view of me surfacing and trying to swim to the side of the vat, the voiceover extremely flat and unexcited.

"The boss is rather fond of it."
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Ah, that British absurdist humour... The Monty Python team would be amused, I bet.

And then it's the end card, and I turn fully to Mr. Queen.

"Well?"

He… Takes a moment.
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Probably trying to decide if OL's having another crazy moment or not and how to deal with it, either way.

"Does the McDonalds guy really look like that?"

"We did not alter that image at all."
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Which might at least require some 'fair use' trickery to use it...

He takes another moment, then shakes his head. "How do you get the idea for this?"

"Well, that was inspired by an advert for blackcurrant Tango that played on British television when I was a boy."

"How..? Closely inspired?"
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Yeah, homages in the advertising industry are one thing, outright plagiarism is not.

"Ah… In their version, a spokesman for blackcurrant Tango takes exception to a mildly-worded complaint, rants defiantly at the camera while stripping down to his boxer shorts, gets into a boxing ring and challenges anyone who doesn't like blackcurrant Tango to fight him. It shouldn't be a… Copyright problem, if that's what you're worried about."
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I'm sure he was worried. Also that is absurdly amusing.

"Okay. Ah. Was that real chocolate?"

I frown faintly. "It would rather undermine the advert if it wasn't."
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To be fair, Chocolate is pretty safe to dunk yourself in. The melting point is more than safe for human immersion, if a little warm. It's just the quantity involved... 😏 Besides, I'm sure OL decontaminated it afterwards, not that it'd go back into general circulation anyway.

"Yeah, that's… That's true. Okay, I can't argue that your original series actually… Played pretty well in the U.S.. Though that might have just been because there's nothing else on."

"I'm not getting into television. I barely touch bases with the companies I own-"
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Ugh, can you imagine something like COPS, but with superheroes? Didn't the team that triggered Marvels first 'Civil War' event have something like that going on?

"I know."

"-as it is. And I don't think that importing alien television-." Hm. "Can you think of anyone who might be interested in Thanagarian television?"
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I imagine you'd either need to redub it or use some advanced auto-translation systems.

"I don't have those kind of connections, but, probably? There's a big market for cheap content right now, because no one's got the money for anything else."

"I'll talk to Bleez about setting something up."
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So cheap sitcoms and docudramas, then. Or really affordable 'reality' TV... Oh, the horror.

"Is she still here?" He sounds surprised. "I thought she was just here for a visit."

"She's rented a studio. I think she's been inspired. And that near-miss with the Yellow Lantern recruit shook her up more than I thought."
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Heh. I wonder if she'll take influences from Earth pop music for this album? That would be fascinating to see her home folks reacting to it.

Particularly after I warned her about it.

He smiles. "Good. For a minute there I was kinda worried you'd learned the wrong lessons from my life."
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Should Dinah be worried, Ollie? Or is this some pre-Arrow shenanigans?

"I'd have had the sense to move her out before Jade got back-."

He snorts. "You'd think, but when you've got a lot on your mind-."
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OL also has a smart-VI super-computer to remind him of these things.

"So: the advert. What do you actually think?"

"Ah, it sticks in the mind. Paul…"
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And I'm sure it'll be popular with the ladies and gay men.

"If you don't like it-."

"I don't think it really matters what ads we run."
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Just the novelty of having the Superhero CEO owner doing ads must be amazing for marketing.
Edit: Whoops, forgot the organisation...

"It doesn't? Because at this point brand recognition-."

"Most cocoa comes from West Africa. Some used to come from South America, but then…"

"The Accala, right."
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I expect they're not allowing any foreign company to use their lands for crops.

"And with international shipping barely alive, Cadbury Logistics is basically the only source, and that's competing with everything else we're transporting. Cadbury Logistics is Cadbury Logistics, with everyone else using our spare capacity. Between the high demand and the fact that production is way down, other chocolate companies can't compete for the bottom or the middle of the market. Unless you try running an ad where you take a dump in our vats, I don't think it will make any difference."
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Ah, so they've got something of a near-universal uptake on the market just due to that.

"Oh. But, the reviews?"

"People usually find them funny, but that doesn't necessarily translate into sales. Guess it helps with your public image. You wanna run it?" He shrugs. "Run it. It probably won't help but at least it won't hurt."
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I'm sure people won't think he's any less crazy.

"Yeah, yeah, run it then."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes. It looks like we're being used for drug trafficking. Any idea how they're doing that?"
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Ah, the real business gets brought up.

It's amusing to see OL basically making a fool of himself for the sake of advertising. He hardly cares what most people think of him anyway, so being thought a fool is no hassle. And if it puts the public at ease around an apparent 'teenager' wielding the sort of power he has, all the better. I can't imagine that hasn't been a problem over the years...
 
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Mr Zoat said:
You are aware that European and Asian humans all have Neanderthal DNA, right?
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Many if not most East Asians also have Denisovan DNA.

NightmareWarden said:
Eris's Spicy Chocolates coming soon? Or "Surprise Filling" Chocolates?

Wait. Not Eris. Abra Kadabra's Caramel Wands? Whitemail him! Make him try some chaos magic, and star in a commercial just like these!

Alright, I'm done. This chapter was painful, thank you very much.
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Just stay away from the Crunchy Frog!
 
So. McDonald's is running that 'ad' a decade earlier, huh?

It's interesting. Tech is a bit accelerated, because superhero world and Lex Luthor, but I assume this means enshittification of at least fast food ingredients (if not the pricing) has also leapt ahead of Earth Prime's timeline. By using superheroes as a distraction…?
 
In defense of Mr CEO, it's completely normal to spit out food when shooting something.

And I can't speak for the US, but the chicken Mac was fine to me.

That said, if he did spit it out, I find it odd that nobody caught it. No pun intended. Especially in a "candid" commercial.
 
Bud-E said:
Was Paul having the whole conversation with Oliver while still covered in chocolate?
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No. That would be silly.
Duke Long said:
'do'
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Thank you, corrected.
So it was molten chocolate, not chocolate milk or something? That sounds like it would be awful to swim in.
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Chojin Patriarch said:
To be fair, Chocolate is pretty safe to dunk yourself in. The melting point is more than safe for human immersion, if a little warm. It's just the quantity involved... 😏 Besides, I'm sure OL decontaminated it afterwards, not that it'd go back into general circulation anyway.
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Dur'id the Druid said:
What...??

Oh, it's april 1st.
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Pure chance.
 
Mr Zoat said:
How much do I like it!?"

I rip off my swimming costume and toss it aside revealing my trunks underneath. Then I run along the diving board, twisting as I come off the end. The view switches to the overhead camera as I fall back-first into the vat of molten chocolate, arms and legs spread wide.

"THIS MUUUUUUUCH!"
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I'd do that for Cadbury Caramel Eggs. Since I was a little kid I've always dreamed about a me sized Cadbury caramel egg. Chocolate eggs are good, I'd eat a dozen Reese's Eggs and I accept from the amount of Creme Eggs dominating the shelves that most of the planet are weirdos that like chocolate with their snot. But Cadbury Caramel Eggs are where it's at. At least when they were bigger and somewhat better tasting.
 
Istaran said:
A good question. The rings could instantly and perfectly clean him. But only if he doesn't want to be covered in chocolate.
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He took the rings off. He gave them to the lifeguard, and I don't think it was said he got them back, which was why I was imagining him covered in chocolate, talking to Oliver.
 
Rebu said:
In defense of Mr CEO, it's completely normal to spit out food when shooting something.
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Yup, for practical reasons most food you see on screen isn't actually what it looks like.

And in the cases it is, you'd quickly fill yourself up by having to eat in the ten or twenty takes that are needed to get everything perfect.
 
Ardy said:
I mean, still better than Folgers. Cadbury's is now in west Africa and Zoat does have a sister
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Oh yeah, I forgot that he does.

I wonder how she would fare if she had been the one to get Isekai'd with a power ring instead of her brother?
 
Going back, geeze, two years? But I just finished The Laundry Files series, so I went back to reread the Laundry, Filed chapters (part 1 link). I didn't actually realize that these were written before A Conventional Boy or The Regicide Report were published. Anyway, killing Fabian Everyman and Raymond Schiller have some interesting implications for later books.

Obviously that averts the aggressive privatization of the Laundry (though maybe not a slower privatization that didn't intentionally break as much stuff), which would have avoided Everyman being installed as PM even if he hadn't been killed... but how long did Grayven stick around afterwards? Because without the Black Pharoah moving chess pieces around, I don't think the Nazgûl's plot with the US president gets averted. I got the feeling that fully summoning Cthulhu would take some time (even on a war footing, building and launching a network of supercomputer satellites takes time), but without the events of the end of The Labyrinth Index, summoning an elder god hasn't gotten any more difficult, so one of the several other attempts different countries were making (Chernobog in Russia, more difficult to spell things in South America, etc.) might succeed. I think the Mute Poet ultimately (retroactively) wins?

Nothing Grayven did in these chapters would have prevented Rupert Bigge's plans from succeeding. All he needed as an enabler was for the ambient magic to continue increasing, which was happening whether or not the new management took over. Everything else was taking advantage of Eve, Imp, the entrance to the dream roads in their house, and the unique legal framework of Skaro. The only reason Bigge failed in his plan to go back to a dream version of the past and empower the Mute Poet two hundred years ago, retroactively remaking the future of the UK, was the PM sending Eve on her quest in Season of Skulls. Even if Grayven hung out for a couple years stabbing the vessels of elder gods, timeline shennanigans may mean it didn't matter?

Also, I wonder if the autistic elven vampire girl got killed at Leeds? And if Grayven did anything regarding BLUE HADES/the deep ones, or if he just left them alone.
 
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I think I'm a bit behind on The Laundry Files, but Grayven would stick around for a while.
 
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