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Welcome to Utopia: Book One of the Utopian Dreams Series

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ack, Dec 14, 2019.

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  1. Threadmarks: Welcome to Utopia
    Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    A little explanation is in order. I have written a novel; the aforementioned Welcome to Utopia.

    UPDATE: It has been published. Link to get it is here.

    [Or go on to Amazon and type in "Welcome to Utopia Alan Atkinson".]

    UPDATE TO UPDATE: I've decided to remove the free copy in the lead-up to publishing the sequel.

    Sorry, but if you haven't read it yet, you're just going to have to buy it and see what it's about.
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2022
  2. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    I think it might need a little more spacing.


    Outside that, I'll wait. I can't quite judge it yet, there's not enough.
     
  3. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    It does have that "Prologue" feel.


    Good luck with the formating. Hope you can beat it into submission.
     
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  4. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I brute-forced it. Went through and added the spaces manually.
     
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  5. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    Much better.
     
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  6. SamueLewis

    SamueLewis Not too sore, are you?

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    Looks pretty good, but why "crap"? it's so jarring to me, does anyone even say it like that?

     
  7. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    It's a little less impolite than "no shit".
     
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  8. SamueLewis

    SamueLewis Not too sore, are you?

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    I thought as much, but does anybody really say that?
     
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  9. samgrimes

    samgrimes Getting out there.

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    Yes.
     
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  10. SamueLewis

    SamueLewis Not too sore, are you?

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    Huh... Well, I stand corrected... Never mind then, I guess
     
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  11. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I know I do.
     
  12. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    Worked up teen is teen-ish.

    Now with powerarmor!
     
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  13. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    He really is chickenshit.

    Stephan's a manipulative dick, though.


    Not sure I like either of them, really.


    Have to wait and see, I guess. There's certainly potential.
     
  14. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Stephen is a manipulative git. Jericho doesn't bend to his every whim, but Stephen does know how to guilt trip him.

    Jericho's too nice for his own good, really.
     
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  15. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    Those who do not defend their rights, end up with none.

    As an Australian, I can tell you that first hand.
     
  16. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Also as an Australian, I dispute the implied definition of "defending their rights".
     
  17. Extras: Books2Read link
    Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Just as a side-note, this very novel has been published and is now out in the world. If anyone's interested in getting a copy, here is the link.

     
    samgrimes and Twilight666 like this.
  18. samgrimes

    samgrimes Getting out there.

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    Finally!

    I do have to wonder about building a city in the middle of nowhere, but... land was cheap?
     
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  19. kabs

    kabs I like well thought out, inspiring stories. Gone for Good

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    Wow, that was a fantastic chapter. The first one I've read, but I'm excited for more!
     
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  20. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    You do know there's 30 before it, and 4 prologues before that, right?

    Also, thanks :D
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2020
  21. kabs

    kabs I like well thought out, inspiring stories. Gone for Good

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    Yup, I like to jump into the middle of books to see if they're good, because a lot of them have slow/boring starts. Also, you're welcome! You're a good writer!
     
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  22. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I tried not to make the beginning too slow or boring.
     
  23. Mr. Tebbs

    Mr. Tebbs Not too sore, are you?

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    And it was really Mystique all along!
     
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  24. Mr. Tebbs

    Mr. Tebbs Not too sore, are you?

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    That was perhaps a bit hasty... they weren't asking him anything that reporters wouldn't, tho I understand taking that line of questioning harder from people he looks up to than a jerkoff from fox
     
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  25. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    He was handling it okay until people started pushing hard on the gay aspect. Especially asking him if he was ashamed of being gay.

    And yes, Independence was deliberately pushing his buttons.

    Also, it doesn't help that he's currently got a serious amount of emotional trauma going on.
     
  26. Mr. Tebbs

    Mr. Tebbs Not too sore, are you?

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    I mean, it makes sense, but I doubt he'll explain why it hit him so hard what with the whole secret identity and perceived betrayal

    Edit: I wouldn't be surprised if Jer applied to the UCPD after catching his cousin's killer as a way of thumbing his nose to FM and staying in UC, as it seems like he's enamored with the city
     
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2020
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  27. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Oh, he won't stay back and explain. As far as he's concerned, him and Force Majeure are done.

    He likes the city, but he's got other issues to deal with right now. And he doesn't really like the UCPD.
     
  28. Mr. Tebbs

    Mr. Tebbs Not too sore, are you?

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    Whoos weee Ack, gotta say I didn't see that coming
     
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  29. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Thank you. I tried not to make it too obvious, while also not making it too obscure.
     
  30. Mr. Tebbs

    Mr. Tebbs Not too sore, are you?

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    So, guy who threw the glass.. sounds like a control freak with a temper in the hardest city to be a villain in without being someone like lex Luthor. Is that Relentless?
     
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