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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. oct9010

    oct9010 .

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    None of which is China’s problem. Is Gate-Japan a nuclear-armed nation, canonically?
     
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  2. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

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    YOU: The interesting premise of Gate is wasted by indulging in a bunch of harem anime trappings. Also, just having the Japanese roll over everything is jingoistic cringe.

    ME: Itami and his harem of cute fantasy girls is the part of Gate I like. I also enjoy watched the Japanese army roll over everything.

    So that's why the "Gateway" chapters don't appeal to much to me.
     
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  3. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Japan Is a (geographically) small island nation with very hostile neighbours (one of which has one of the strongest militaries in the world) with it's nearest meaningful ally thousands of kilometers away.

    If you don't believe they have secret nukes I have a bridge to sell you.
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    None of the things you like would prevent the problems in the story being fixed.

    In a story focusing on violent conflict, having one side effortlessly overpower the other defeats the object of the story.

    But take the example of Overlord (which I gave up on after one series). When the main characters attack the lizardmen, they do so with a fraction of their forces and treat it as a training exercise for one of their commanders. But we see it from the point of view of the lizardmen and learn about their history and culture, and how they're forced to change to face this threat. They're obviously going to lose, but it's interesting seeing them try to win.

    There are many ways to make Gate more interesting. Off the top of my head? You could make the fighting interesting by closing the gate. The Japanese are stuck with whatever supplies they have with them and have to frantically try to work out how to resupply on the Saderan side. They try finding natural resources and talking unhappy vassals around. They can still annihilate an enemy army, but they're on a clock. Conserving resources is suddenly as important as killing the enemy and there are missions they just can't do. Or... Just make it so that the Empire can make them in a straight fight but the JSDF avoid giving them one. Showing them act intelligently at least makes it clear that they've earned it.

    You could make the female characters more interesting by having them work for the Empire. Make Lelei an Imperial wizard fascinated by Japanese science, growing more powerful and torn between an Empire perfectly happy to reward her and the fascinating foreigners.
    It's most powerful ally has soldiers, tanks, aircraft and ships already in place in its territory.
     
  5. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    And that's just in real life.

    In the world of Gate, where they have apparently broken military ties with the US? There's no way they don't.
     
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  6. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I've been away for a while, and I'm not all caught up yet. But I've had this thought so many times OL...so many times.

    It's stupid...but I got inordinately sad at this.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2020
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  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Given that actually happened in the novel... Your attempted criticism with this paragraph is kind of invalid...
     
  8. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    yeah- they've essentially been denying the rape of nanking,the torture/biowar experiments on Chinese peasants (and allied pow') like its the new national religion ever since the end of the war,including editing/destroying history text books to maintain the narrative-
    there's surviving aerial photographs of the poor bastards out in the testing range tied to stakes around germ bombs to determine the speed/radius of spread)-

    didnt they outright turn a cemetery where a bunch of war criminals were burred into sacred ground or something in...gate, or was it another anime?
     
  9. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Nice to have you back Maxx.
     
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  10. gattsuru

    gattsuru Making the rounds.

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    Nuclear weapons are a lot less good of an area denial effort than most people think, especially over the long term. Only the material within a short distance of the detonation itself gets enough neutron flux to transmute into radioisotopes, and while a ground burst boosts that amount a lot, there remain limits. Castle Bravo was an unintentionally groundbursty in an especially severe way, and it sucked for the crew of the Lucky Dragon No 5, but even a week later the chance of acute radiation sickness in the same area was nearly nil.

    The chronic effects can be far more lasting, especially to a low-tech and low-food-store society, but they might not even realize they existed for years, if at all.

    Maybe it’d Do enough damage to collapse the Gate, but nuclear weapons are effectively industrials projects as much as scientific ones. If you can spare the power and fresh water for enrichment and don’t have a long logistics chain, you might as well just make ANGO.
     
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2020
  11. Threadmarks: Cold Iron (part 2)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    25th June 2012
    11:44 GMT


    "Oh El?"

    "Good morning, Kid Flash."

    "So was the other dimension full of really hot girls or something?"

    I take a moment to consider my answer as I continue fabricating barricades around the perimeter of the park. No, humour probably isn't the way to go.

    "No, it looks like time moves at different rates. For us, it was a few days."

    "Really? 'cause you kinda missed World War Three."

    I look over to where army engineers are checking which structures are safe for people to re-enter.

    "Doesn't look like I've missed it. What happened?"

    "Lots'a things. Not a lot happened for a few weeks, then they started trying to kill us. The team just had to fight some weird monsters, but the League had actual super-Sheeda coming after them."

    "Did anyone die?"

    "No one on the team. But… Civilians. People who were just around when we were on missions. They-. We couldn't always get everyone away in time."

    I nod.

    "I understand. We had a few fights with creatures like that as well."

    "I got a pretty cool-looking acid burn out of it. I think everyone on the League got injured at some point. Flash got both his shins shattered. He had to get Angelica to fix them or he wouldn't have been able to run again."

    "When did they escalate?"

    "Back in May. A big.. space ship got sighted in a bunch of different places at once, then… A lot of people just… Disappeared. We found out later that they were dropping invisible commando teams into places they didn't think anyone was defending and then… They were…"

    "'Harvesting' them."

    "Yeah. We actually… I mean, the League managed to get on board one of their harvesting ships. I… I kinda wish I hadn't watched the recording."

    "So what's the state of play now?"

    "They've got more ships, and they've got all kinds'a ways to hide them. Every so often they attack someplace they think is undefended, and… Drag a load of people away. I don't even know how many attacks we're just not hearing about."

    "How are governments responding?"

    "Jd-I… I'm not really the guy to ask. We've got a whole lot more surveillance satellites than we used to, and they put up that magic detection network you wanted. But the Atlanteans say that the way the Sheeda use magic means they can't track them easily. You didn't… I dunno-."

    "Come across an expert in Sheeda magic? Yes, yes we did."

    "R-really?"

    "The Columbians learned magic from Melmoth. And I captured both him and one of the Harvest fleet's scouts."

    "Dude."

    "Orange Lantern Corps. When only hearing the lamentations of their women will do."

    "Where are you?"

    "Ipswich."



    "Where are you?"

    "It's a large town in England. We arrived just in time for a Sheeda attack. Some prisoners taken. I… See that the Sheeda got Dolmen gates."

    "Not… Exactly? It's more a time.. manipulation… Thing. Batman's got Rip Hunter and Jason Goldstein working on trying to block it. So far, no luck."

    That's probably at least in part because we can't trust either of them with a working time machine.

    "How is daily life being affected? Are you still going to school?"

    "Yeah, I.. am. It's kinda weird? When the attacks first started a lotta places went into total lockdown. But that mostly stopped, because it didn't really help and it was wrecking the economy and making it harder to actually fight them. The Sheeda don't really care whether you're in your house or not, and they only attack a few places at once. So we've got the army and the national guard out on the streets almost all the time now, and… Some people are still living in their basements… But mostly we're trying to live normally."

    "And since the Sheeda have burrowing worms living in the basement just means that when they take you no one will know about it."

    "I was thinking more about a metaphorical basement? Oh, hey, Oh El? Didn't you say something about a fleet heading this way?"

    "There should be a L.E.G.I.O.N. fleet coming here from Maltus, yes."

    "Any chance they could get here faster? I'm not super-eager to see a whole lot of guns in space, but we could really use a whole lot of guns in space right now."

    "I'll give them a bell. See you when I return to America."

    "Catch you later."

    I drop the call, then generate an actual holosuit construct before transmitting to the L.E.G.I.O.N. command ship. I wonder how Dox meant for me to take the fact that there aren't any Lanterns coming? It could be because the last one didn't work out and he doesn't want to irritate me by sending someone else who doesn't meet my standards. Or it could be because he doesn't want the senior captain to think that I'm in his chain of command.

    "Illustres to L.E.G.I.O.N. theatre command."

    A grey-skinned humanoid who looks a little like a yautja who had a run-in with a disc sander appears on in the holoprojector in front of me.

    "Illustres."

    "Earth is presently under attack by time-travelling magic-using harvesters. I am requesting that you make best possible time to Earth. We need your sensors and strike-weaponry."

    "My orders make no mention of this. My flotilla is simply coming to protect one small city."

    "That's Earth for you, I'm afraid. The bizarre doesn't stop." I sigh. "I'm not in your chain of command, so I can't issue you orders. If you think that your ships can't meaningfully assist, or that your orders don't give you the authority to make that decision yourself, I can't gainsay them. However, if that's the case, then I'm going to suggest that you turn around and fly back to Maltus, because you clearly aren't up to being in this system. Time travellers, psychics and weapons far more advanced than the locals should have just happen here. What's it going to be?"

    "We will require additional information."

    "I'll relay it to you as I receive it. I'll look forward to your arrival, captain."
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2021
  12. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    Seriously, do space people still not recognise Earth for the death world it is?
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well I'm sure that under those puritanical clothes there are.

    Maybe add a , between time travelling and magic using.
     
  14. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    I'm surprised this blatant reverse-psychology worked.
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Most of them probably have never even heard of the place, because humans aren't really all that involved in space aside from some Lanterns and a few other people, but that isn't exactly an indicator that Earth is somehow a death world.
     
  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Maxx! Good to have you back.
    Sort of. A graveyard is usually sacred ground, and it's not unusual for a country to have a memorial to their war dead. The fact that Japan's national cemetery commemorates people far more morally bad than other countries' equivalents is a difference in scale rather than anything fundamental.
    I think it's okay.
     
  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Touching base with his teammates. A good first start, and a good way to get up to speed. Sensible.

    Besides, the Columbian ladies take a certain type to be considered 'really hot' instead of merely exotically pretty.' Especially the less lucky Warlock-breed...

    'Missed'? Well, I suppose he missed the start of it... Would it be crass to wonder if they started the day he left?

    I mean, you've almost certainly tapped the League's reports, haven't you? Or are you just looking to hear the Team's perspective?

    That's a good question. I'd be amazed if there weren't some manner of casualties amongst the heroic population. Especially without the plot-armour of being in mass-market comics...

    Mourn them, use those memories to do better. Don't let them drive you to despair, though. That would just give the Sheeda too much credit.

    :confused: ...Ow. At least having a couple of mages on the team makes it easier to avoid long-term effects. Won't help if someone who isn't nigh-invulnerable cops an entropic ray to the face, though...

    Standard operation, then. No great hurry for the Sheeda, after all. They can take as long as they need to.

    I'm picturing something akin to the Collector base in Mass Effect 2, especially that one scene of people being rendered into raw materials... Nasty.

    If a town's small and remote enough, it'd be captured without a peep. And no-one would know until someone got curious, or a delivery truck went there or something similar... That's a scary thought indeed.

    Ah, looks like good timing for OL's return. What with...

    Oh, that's telling, that surge of hope. I think the Sheeda are going to find things about to get very hot for them, very soon.

    Since you've already got started on the 'crushing them and driving them before you' thing... Yes, I bet the Sheeda are going to be learning to feel a surprising amount of fear soon.

    Honestly, OL. :D Expecting an American teenager to remember geography?

    Or you could have subverted it, have him ask 'In which country?' Surprisingly popular name. Not on the level of Springfield, mind...

    If anyone's wondering, they captured them around the time of Mandated. I don't know exact chapters...

    You'd be amazed how people can up and ignore significant events, after all. :cool: No comments on current affairs, please...


    ...Even if Mr Zoat is making it a little hard at times. Unfortunately, the Sheeda is one enemy you can't defeat by ignoring them...

    Honestly amazed you didn't call them first, OL. I hope John is doing the same with the Guardians, assuming Lantern Savenlovich didn't do so for some reason. I mean, he at least has to report he's back on Earth... Probably getting told "It's an internal matter. No, time-travel does not count as off-world interference."

    Well, there is the whole chain-of-command thing... But he could point out that Venturia, who they do have a treaty with, is at risk...

    Man, Batman's going to have a headache from his reports, isn't he? On top of the whole invisible time-travelling elf invasion thing. Hope the utility belt has some kryptonian-grade meds...:D

    Or they're all busy elsewhere. It strikes me that Dox is ill-inclined to acquiesce to any further requests from his Illustres.

    Hey, I'm sure he's a very handsome example of his species. Probably has the ladies drawing blades to get his attention...

    And all those combat marines you're no doubt carrying. What? As if you wouldn't have a contingent to repel boarders.

    Are you up to the challenge, captain? Because if you haven't heard, Earth is bullshit-crazy.

    Now, to actually get a hold of said information. A quick call around to the Watchtower, perhaps? Hit up League record servers? Honestly, OL, you must be tired, if that wasn't the first thing you did once you had a moment...

    Well, a nice chance to catch his breath, check in with the more important people in his life. Now, down to business, then? Because this is one hell of a bad situation for Earth to be in... Gods only know what the fallout is going to be afterwards, given this is actually worse than the Roanoke incident...
     
  18. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The casualties among the heroes may be just the small time ones, like those in that Justice Alliance.

    Be honest, do you remember much about geography?

    It was before the Mandate episode.

    Ohoh, yeah...

    Yeah the whole internal issue thing.

    Well they are also getting ready to fight the Reach so he may think sending more resources to Earth is wasteful. True the Sheeda are dangerous, but compared to the Reach they're practically nothing.

    And he's wearing a uniform, so if the ladies of his species like that then he's extra attractive.

    Roanoke led to the death of 800.000 children.

    This is bad but it may not be that bad, as the total number of people dead because of this may be just in the thousands, and while horrible it isn't Roanoke horrible.
     
  19. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Needing four green lanterns is though.
     
  20. Rebu

    Rebu hey, little Anna, you're the one

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    Opens mouth.

    Remembers rule about current politics.

    Closes mouth.
     
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    That could just indicate that there are a lot of strong willed people there and not that it's a death world.

    There are probably hundreds of Lanterns from peaceful planets out there.

    And Lanterns also patrol the rest of the sector, not just their home planet
     
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  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    A thought occurred to me.

    Renegade Artemis was once an idealistic teenager that wanted to be a hero, but now she's a jaded, cynical adult that has white hair, has fought in a war and is a magical archer.

    Does that remind anyone of someone?

    [​IMG]
     
  23. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Death Sector.
     
  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Funny, but it still wouldn't be an indicator that Earth is a death world.
     
  25. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    So update the magic detection network? That could work?

    And why can't/isn't he requesting Lanterns?

    Also, are we going to see supervillains helping out? Belle Reve should come in handy now.
     
  26. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    You know, this whole Harvest thing with lot of cloaked spaceships sending snatch squads to undefended locations and abducting a bunch of people while staging distractions, while slowly escalating reminds me of X-COM: Enemy Unknown.
     
  27. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm also glad you're back. Read quite a few insightful posts from you during my recent re-read of this fic. I haven't retained everything, but I'll try to help if you want a refresher of any details.
     
  28. PJCG

    PJCG Getting sticky.

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    Wait ....
    Your re-read this fic, including the posts?
    Damn...
    I've read till I caught up without reading the posts and it still took me a week. Can't imagine how long it's gonna take you.
     
  29. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    What does "Jd-I" mean, here?
     
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  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That his mouth still moves faster than his brain.
     
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