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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    True but he didn't bring up her love life till after Diana's mind went to the gutter.
    ...
    Or did he just assume that's where she went? Ergo he went to the gutter first...
     
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  2. mastermenthe

    mastermenthe Mint Thistle

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    That is almost word for word what some of the Fallen clans do and at about the same child age range, it's on rotation with various other trigger-event schemes they put their kids through, as the younger the trigger-event the stronger the power granted, and the sheer rapidity of power budding among the Fallen means these death game rituals almost-always work to create a "winner" by the time canon rolled around, because the Fallen were speedrunning the "build tall not wide" xenophobic fanatic inwards-perfection slave pop meta and were hitting sixth generation shard buds were the rest of the world usually only had third generation shard buds at best.
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes, he implied that he thought that was what Diana was going to ask as a joke.
     
  4. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Both of those mean something different than the intended statement. They mean "during the time under discussion, the thing that was happening to you was me." This is not what Grayven is trying to say, in no small part because there ISN'T a specific time under discussion -- Diana is ASKING if there's such a time.

    Diana asked Grayven if this kind of situation had ever happened to him before, because she's not sure she can empathize. Grayven's response is more or less a "no," but he's pointing out that she's experienced it once before -- because he himself created that kind of situation for her to deal with in the past.

    So in truth, Zoat's original phrasing was both grammatically correct as written as well as semantically accurate to what was intended: "it" refers back to "that", which refers back to the circumstances that Diana is asking about. The only change that could possibly improve this statement might be to say "I was that happening to you" instead of "I was it happening to you" in order to more closely mirror the form of the question, but it wouldn't change the meaning.
     
  5. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Wasn't she a soldier? why is Diana hesitating here? is it because it's family?
     
  6. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    She's a soldier, but this isn't a war, or at least not a war that she's a party in. And even in war, she wouldn't have struck down someone who wasn't raising arms against her.
     
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  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The family connection could be making her hesitate.

    And given the fact the the Kindly Ones may exist in this universe, Diana killing Astarte could have some serious repercussions.

    They do not look kindly upon kinslaying.

    And even if she fought in WWII that was decades ago and her beliefs may have changed during that time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2021
  8. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Executing a captured soldier is illegal...


    Her own God's look down on it too.
     
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  9. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    If you don't consider it a war then that makes it morally worse for Astarte, if it was a war then at least she'd only be using WMD's.

    1 Not in space, unless there's a space geneva.
    2 Renegade has executed enemy captives before (namely that psion in front of his father box to prove that they were irredeemable), hell paragon Had a bunch of those Citadelian POW's executed.

    That's... a fair point kin-slaying is looked down on in Greek myth even if it's sometimes bullshit.
     
  10. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    This is what happens when you outsource or have consultants during your battle with irredeemable evil organizations. Because he asked for Diana's help now he has to accommodate her desire to not exterminate these genocidal cannibalistic locusts-like vermin. Like, seriously, the Galaxy is full of arseholes like these, we really need a Red Lantern Corps type cleansing ASAP.

    Not that I believe Grayven actually needed Diana's help in this fight, Astartes' only danger was the surprise appearance of an Omega Gun, but he totally could handle her; only benefit to having Diana around is being able to figure out more easily (or at all) the mystery of Astartes but what real benefit did he get from finding that out? She was already defeated and if he really needed to know there's always Assimilation, and she's not invulnerable to that. If Maltusians can be assimilated, then half-jumped up elementals with a touch of the Source can too.

    It might have even been better, he could have found out if she knew anything about Original Grayven's plans instead of having to go through this rigmarole. Really, I hope we get some update on Paragon's campaign against the Spiders, now that's a guy that knows how to properly exterminate guys like these; ironic, but it makes me curious how he will handle his encounter with these guys, if it happens.
     
  11. Radix

    Radix Not too sore, are you?

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    That is fair. My point isnt exactly that SI should encounter stuff that you dont know, but that the stuff he encounters should be unreliable. He should be surprised more often and have to question how useful it is to rely on that knowledge. It came up often earlier in the fic, but it is less common now.

    YJ introduces twists, and you yourself have made changes to simplify things, or weld disparate arcs together.
     
  12. Michael Vonica

    Michael Vonica Know what you're doing yet?

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    Paul: Clarissi, I'm taking some lanterns for a training mission to destroy the Citizenry.
    Dox: Acknowledged, Illustres. Send the footage to the propaganda department upon completion.
     
  13. Threadmarks: Peacehammer (part 2)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    17th Vorhexen 2512
    Late Morning


    "M'seigneur Orange?"

    I come to a halt mid-stride, then walk over to the training room's table and put my ring back on. Eudes stands awkwardly in the doorway as my environmental shield kicks back in and my armour returns to subspace.

    While the gromril armour inscribed with the Master Rune of Arcane Defiance is still in the process of being forged, Thurgun elected to gift me with a suit of steel armour of the same dimensions 'to get my stringy human body used to the weight'. His decision might have something to do with my cheek at giving him a suit of armour once I finally worked out which of the various metal samples I'd found was titanium, but far be it for me to question his integrity. Compared to the human-wrought pieces of armour I've tried wearing before it's a wonder to move in and provides far better protection, but I'm still not exactly swift of foot.

    "Mi'lord Orange?"

    Eudes still isn't really sure how to talk to me. Living in the arse end of Mousillon, which in turn is the arse end of Brettonia, he didn't ever have anything to do with Brettonian nobility. No Knight of the Realm guarded his village, or even the nearest town. There are knights around, but they're either feudalistic supremacists, lunatics or vampires or all three at once. Or chaos worshippers. The thing with Mallobaude was a complete fluke; even Questing Knights generally don't come out to places like this.

    But he's been raised on stories, and let me tell you, the stories they tell about knights in places like this aren't exactly the 'high fantasy chivalric ballad' sort. Some are bawdy and comedic, and it's a lucky knight who makes it to the end of the tale with his clothing intact, much less his honour. Others are clearly warnings about the stab-happy lunatics they imagine their rulers to be.

    I don't behave like either, so while Eudes is aware that it's probably a good idea to be deferential, he spends half the time worried that I'll disembowel him for daring to look at my horse, and the other half waiting for me to trip over a bucket in such a way that my trousers fall off.

    "Yes?"

    "A ship, mi'lord. A big one. Don't know the sail."

    "Big as in Black Ark big, galleon big, bigger than a fishing boat big..?"

    "Definitely bigger than a fishing boat, mi'lord. Dunno about the other two."

    My attempts to attract scholars to move to Mousillon have met with only limited success. We've got a couple of priests of Verena, but I'm half-convinced they're spies for someone or other and they're focusing their efforts on teaching the children to read and write and perform basic arithmetic rather than trying to teach heraldry to adults.

    I nod and smile. "Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll go and take a look myself."

    He smiles and nods cautiously back, then sort of stands there-.

    "Thank you, you're dismissed. Return to whatever you were doing."

    This time I get an actual bow as he backs out.

    "Thank you, mi'lord."

    Okay, ring, what exactly oh that's a big ship. A capital ship catamaran? I mean, it's clearly High Elf-.

    Oh dear.

    I transition into the air over the town and check for the location of the local elves and the location of any visitors who might have-. No, the Dragonship is far too large to use our little fishing dock, the escorts are keeping their distance and their skiffs haven't launched yet. Fine, good. I transition down to where Aranei is pacing on the balcony of our manor house. She stops pacing and straightens up when she sees me, but she's clearly still agitated.

    "It's a Dragonship."

    "Yes, I've heard of them. The largest class of High Elf capital ships. Why-?"

    "My lord, the High Elves do not lower themselves to raid the ships of lesser races. They seldom even raid our shipping. Dragonships only leave harbour during the greatest of wars! They are as irreplaceable as our own Black Arks!"

    "I doubt that they sent a warfleet just for you."

    For a moment, she considers the idea that they would. It appears to please her. Then she snaps out of it.

    "But they might for you!"

    Oh. Yes, she does this sometimes. She sort of forgets that I'm not a Dark Elf noble and assumes that other people are going to treat me as one. And since clearly I'm a powerful one, in her mind it makes perfect sense for the entirety of Ulthuan to have it in for me.

    "I accept that's not very likely. But this is strange, my lord."

    "I'd best go and see what they want-."

    "Be warned. I scarcely dare touch the winds of magic for fear of the wizards they have aboard. Three archmages, one of extraordinary power. I do not know that they are here to fight you, but if that were the reason for their arrival, then-."

    I nod.

    "Then archmages would be the best counter to my abilities they could get, since I've already shown that swords and arrows are basically pointless and that I can deal with large monsters."

    I don't think I've done anything that would push the High Elves' buttons. Heck, I've had near-civil conversations with Ambassador Sharvan at least twice! On the other hand, someone important might have heard about the ring and decided that it belonged in their care without bothering to find out anything else about it. Communication speeds being painfully slow is one of the things about the Warhammer World that I've had to get used to.

    "There are most likely lesser mages as well, though that would be normal for a ship of that size. Three archmages is not normal."

    I nod. "I will bear that in mind. But unless I'm willing to destroy the ship without warning, I'm going to have to go and talk to them."

    "My lord, you-" She comes closer and lays her hands on my chest, which is a pretty clear sign that she's deeply unhappy about this. She usually tries to avoid being assertive with me as part of her desire to avoid alienating a powerful patron. "-can send a herald. A peasant. Someone expendable. Someone else."

    "And once I have educated subjects I might consider doing something like that, but at the moment I can't see that asking them to speak to a yokel will go down well with elves of any stripe. This is a matter of personal responsibility, of noblesse oblige."

    She looks away, squirming at the idea.

    "Aranei." I raise my right hand and gently lay it on her cheek, turning her face back towards me. "You don't need to worry. If they're hostile… You know what usually happens when hostile magicians-."

    "But what if they're not!? What if it's some hussy from the Tower of Hoeth here to offer herself to you? The political advantages would be considerable. I can't compete with that!"



    Because while she is a little worried that they're here to attack me, from her point of view being replaced is a more immediate fear. She's not an archmage, and I haven't invested the resources in her improvement to accelerate the rate at which that could change. She may be better equipped than most sorceresses at her level of experience, but her skills are only 'average'. In fact, given that she's had to give up a lot of standard rituals due to the murderous components, she might even be weaker.

    "Aranei, even if they are planning that -and I think it extremely unlikely- loyalty is more important to me than absolute power. You have proven your loyalty, so while I would be happy to make common cause with them, they cannot replace you."

    I lean forward and kiss her, and feel a little of the tension leave her.

    "Yes, my lord."

    "Now." I gently lift her hands off my chest, kiss her fingers and then let them go. "I'll go and speak to them."

    I transition to the air above the ship, noting the free movement of motes of dust through the air above it and the flight of hawks carrying messages between ships. Probably no force field, then. Good. Now look for who's in charge

    Three elves with glowing amulets and staves standing near the skiffs of the dragonship. One is indeed a woman, and another is… Surprisingly short. Heh, and compensating with a large-. A large hat.

    I know that hat.

    My goodness, what the heck have I done to earn his attention?
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2021
  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    So an ancient form of Monty Python.

    'haven't launched'

    Nice to know she's viewed as that dangerous.

    She may have a point.

    Well you do work with Dark Elves and your ring may feel like something from Slaanesh, so not that difficult to imagine.

    Relationship troubles.

    After you mind whammied her.

    So it's the Big Kahuna of Elf magic users.
     
  15. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    I can see Teclis coming to investigate OL. What is weird is Teclis coming by dragonship. He has far faster ways to travel and doesn't generally need to worry about his personal safety when using them. Maybe OL isn't the primary purpose of this trip?
     
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  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    How did he learn how to do that without a ring database?
     
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  17. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    Does Teclis want some of that ring-based healing for himself?
     
  18. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Well, if there's research that can be done for the good of Ulthuan the world, it's only natural that Teclis position himself to take credit contribute his insight. Plus, it sounds like OL found a lost colony of elves that need to be brought back under Ulthuan's authority support.

    Ulthuan's elves are nicer to outsiders than any other elven kingdom that has an officially published army list. Consider for a moment how low that bar is.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  20. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

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    I wonder if this is in relation to 'I'm here to solve your birth crisis'.
     
  21. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    Actually, now that I think about it, was Teclis sleeping with one of the two lady elfs who spoke to Paul earlier?
     
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  22. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Given his ambient aura is effecting Elven birth rates it's a bit more then just "feel like" given Elven birth rates are directly connected to Slaanesh...
     
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  23. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Trouble coming, I suppose? Might have been better off keeping the armour on, especially if it's enchanted. Never know when you're going to need to make a ward save...

    Bet he was fascinated by the material, at least. Not that he's show it to a longshanks. I foresee his partnership with Paul going very well for him, being able to source just about any high-quality metal at perfect purity...

    Yep. Joy of living in one of the crappiest kingdoms (for peasants, anyway.) Paul's presumed utter lack of concern for titles and rank probably makes it even harder to slot him into a mental box....

    Definitely in the grim-dark era of Bretonnia. Still, good to see they can find enjoyment where they can.

    Ah. That means Elves, or Reikslanders. And given the latter probably haven't heard of him (Or dismissed it as a fanciful tale if they have,) it's likely Elves.

    Since he wouldn't have seen the Dark Elven raiding party's main ship, merely their landing craft... Black Arks aren't something you casually cruise up to the shoreline in...

    And since none of the local Lords seem to give a toss about them, there's no complaints about 'giving the filthy rabble ideas above their rightful station...'

    Really got to work on their nerves, eh...

    ...Definitely need to get them educated. Assuming some knight doesn't wander along while you're away and decide to wipe the town out for 'crimes against the natural order' or something because they live peacefully with elves.

    Yeah, definitely some bigwig come to have a look at the 'orange flying Man' for himself, then.

    Not prepped for combat, then. Not that means much with a Man'O'War...

    Definitely some high muck-a-muck come to visit.

    :rolleyes: Ah, the Druuchi ego.

    Gee, thanks, Malekith. Or rather, thanks, Morathi, his mother...

    Oh, this day just gets better and better.

    Sooner you get that magic armour, the better, eh?

    Ah, yes. The days when getting a message across a kingdom in weeks was considered brisk. Assuming the messenger didn't got ambushed by bandits, Beastmen, Greenskins, Chaos marauders or any number of weird beasties.

    ...I'm sorry, you do remember what the locals are like? Villeins like that aren't someone you send to talk to whatever Lord High Arcanus is out there...

    I'm amazed she even suggested it. She must have known how big of an insult it would have been... She's that desperate to keep him safe?

    ...Ah. Does someone have a little crush on our erstwhile Lantern?

    The joy of swearing off the nastier side of Dark Magic. And yes, that's an actual school of Magic in the Warhammer world. Practised mostly by Dark Elves and the occasional Vampire...

    Heh. An unexpected romantic gesture, but I'm guessing there's a bit of attraction there.

    Just look for the biggest, fanciest robes and tallest pointy hat.

    Oh, my. The biggest of big wizards himself. I wonder what he's here for...

    Hoo boy. Probably a good thing he didn't send out anyone else to meet his guests. Gods only know how Teclis would have taken that. So many possibilities for his presence, though... Curiosity? Seeking healing for his cursed frailty? Or does he mean to take the ring for himself? Swinging his big magical dick around? The next part will be very interesting to see...
     
  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    They are apparently fucking each other.

    The dumber it looks the higher the rank.
     
  25. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Dat relationship with Aranei is unhealthy at best.

    Her unashamed selfishness is hilarious though.

    Teclis seems cool, from his entry, someone Paul can work with.

    Also, more 40K please!
     
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  26. Tzeentch

    Tzeentch I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Paul is posession of an artifact created by race that are peers to The Old Ones, which has a database full of cosmic lore and technologies.

    Teclis is the foremost Archmage of the Asur who has a HUGE thirst for knowledge, tempered and sharpened with wisdom.

    Seems pretty obvious WHY he would should show up, and in a dragonship to boot!
    Well, Paul can certainly deal with the physiological symptoms of Khaine's curse I'm sure, but not so much the curse itself. The Bloody-handed One is a VERY sadistic, petty bastard, and he's not one to suffer interference with his workings....
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The ring may not have that database.

    Paragon did not have a database when he showed up on Earth 16 so this version may also not have a database.

    Paragon was shown as being able to devour magic with his ring, and seeing as this version lived in a fantasy magic world he may have more experience with this.
     
  28. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    yeah that part is weird for me too. but then what else can be done with the druichi.
     
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  29. Dappershire

    Dappershire Getting out there.

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    Who needs a database. Thats all stuff he'd know rings are capable of by default. And he's had months of time to practice.
     
  30. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Rings aren't capable of that by default... Paul didn't learn how till after he interfaced with other Lantern stuff.

    And knowing that it's possible to warp space time doesn't tell you how to do it...
     
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