"-Maltus, excuse me."
I step out, the desire to be ruled by Lord Malvolio
being somewhat distinctive and limited to one region.
Hmm... I wonder how
closely Malvolio was watching OL's little trick. He may well be able to pull a Goku and
copy it...
"Illustres to WHATEVER IDIOT JUST DECIDED TO PICK A FIGHT WITH LORD MALVOLIO I HOPE YOUR LIFE INSURANCE IS UP TO DATE."
Right, I got a reasonably map update last time I was in the area, though I've got no idea where Priest was hiding out or what changed have happened since. Ships… They're not posing near their internal borders any longer, but patrolling the entire region as a unified navy.
He's really brought the region together.
Amazing what fear of a mightier power can do. Or simply veterans recognising him, if the lifespans involved are long enough.
The void that there used to be around the system he was imprisoned in is gone, but I'm detecting something not too different around… Oh, that's a bit mean. A desolate system whose most interesting feature is what appeared when I scanned it to be the remains of a broken-up super-Earth. Now there's a huge green barrier around the whole thing that looks like it's on fire.
Yeah, that's a
pretty clear beacon of 'Something Important Here'. Now, to find out who's poking it.
Ring, find me whoever it is that's taking the piss.
"Urine-extractors found."
...I know it's being literal and overly verbose, but damn if it isn't
cute sometimes...
And of course it's a squad of Green Lanterns.
"I know you people received my first message. Lord Malvolio knows that you're here and he's heading back."
Methinks they're pointedly ignoring you, OL. Must be someone who's worked with you before...
Two I don't recognise.
One is a standard pattern humanoid male who has somehow combined a Mohican with a pony tail. There's a
treeman along with
Apros and…
Of course they sent him.
Good
lord, some of DC's character designs. I'm amazed someone hasn't tried something like that hairdo in real life...
The
Ultimate Mullet.
"Guy Gardner pick up your gosh darn ring."
In the distance I see Guy look around, though the light I'm emitting won't reach him for days and my tattoos will prevent his ring picking me up.
Welp. The Guardians are clearly
trying to trigger a war, aren't they? Guy hasn't a diplomatic bone in his body...
Then his face appears over my ring.
"Hey Paul. What's up?"
Don't play coy with OL, Guy...
"I was having a pleasant conversation with Lord Malvolio, learning all about his future plans and how he can make Central Power Batteries, and then he got a message that someone was trying to burgle him."
"This ain't a burglary. It's is a prison break."
Potahto, potayto. Which way do you think the demi-
elemental who's no doubt on his way back
right now will see it?
"Guy, Lord Malvolio heard about this when I did. He's heading back now."
"And?"
Seriously, Guy, you are not normally
this dumb. Did you actually read Malvolio's files, or ask Jordan about it?
"And he punched Jordan through one side of a planet and out of the other. He can make Central Power Batteries."
"Can he make crumblers?"
...Admittedly, asking Jordan about it might explain the attitude. About the only impression Malvolio made on him was with his
fists, after all. And at that level of power, he won't
need crumblers to break constructs.
"His ring doesn't have AI support, so probably not. On the other hand he definitely can lock you in an inescapable prison the size of a star system."
"You got out."
Oh, so you
did talk to Jordan. Did he not impress upon you the sheer
power of the man you're ticking off?
"Priest -the man you're trying to gaol-break- built that prison. Lord Malvolio built the one now imprisoning him."
"So?"
Think about that for a second, Guy. Malvolio is
hundreds of light-years from here. The prison construct is
still active. Consider what kind of
focus that takes...
"And that's assuming that he doesn't flat out kill you."
"He couldn't kill Lantern Priest."
No, he
chose not to. There's a
big difference. Would you try to kill Hal or John in an outright
fight?
"He decided not to kill Lantern Priest because he owed him and felt grateful that Priest didn't leave him in Salford to work out the ring for himself. Guy, has the Green Lantern Corps attempted diplomacy?"
"We can try that ahftah we've got our guy back."
Given Priest's level of control, I suspect he's only still in there because he
wants to be, Ring or not.
"No, no you can't, because that's the Green Lantern Corps announcing that they don't care about borders or cooperation agreements and are fine with declaring war on an entire Sector."
"Just Malvolio."
Who rules the Sector. Do the
math, Guy. Your ring can help if you need it to.
"Do you know what his popularity rating around here is?"
"I dunno. Like, five percent or som-."
...Is Guy
usually this much of an asshole about this stuff? You'd think he'd tap into the local data networks to
check, at least.
"More like ninety five. Maybe higher."
"Sinestro had 'bowt a hundred percent. Right up 'til Hal kicked his keister.
Given that saying you
didn't like Sinestro's rule would likely get the police looking your way, can you blame them?
"Sinestro had maybe thirty percent and controlled all media. I'm an empath. You think I can't see how many people want Malvolio ruling them?"
Guy sighs.
Maybe you should learn to use empathic vision a little more, Guy, if you can. It might head off misunderstandings like this...
"Wha'd'yah want me t'do, Paul?"
"Approach Lord Malvolio directly and negotiate for Priest's release."
Because he's presumably under Guardian Orders at this point. There's probably not a lot of wriggle room about '
Retrieve Lantern Priest and capture the despot who defeated him.'
"You saying we should trade fer him?"
"Lord Malvolio ruled this Sector when Priest trapped him. I'm fairly sure that's a crime. The Guardians didn't send a team to break Jordan out of prison when he got locked up for drunk driving, did they?"
Admittedly, there's a whole magnitude of difference involved. Especially in the Guardian's eyes. Hal was arrested, (presumably) tried and sentenced in accordance with local laws... Malvolio, well...
"That ain't tha same thing."
"Okay, what's the difference?"
...Honestly, I'm surprised OL isn't still making his way there right now. Did he stop mid-flight to argue?
"Hal didn't murder a Green Lantern first."
"Lord Malvolio says that he thought the man was a demon. And given when he did it, that's a pretty credible explanation. And it was four hundred years ago. And it's not like the Green Lantern Corps hasn't recruited people who've kill -and eaten- other Lanterns before."
Because apparently, '
Overcome Great Fear' has a lot of
loopholes concerning criminal activities...
"I didn't hire Chummuck, but Chummuck's got with the program. He didn't conquer a Sector an' he didn't murder anyone. And I don't negotiate with terrorists."
"The Green Lantern Corps on the other hand negotiated with the Psions, the Reach, Larfleeze, the Manhunters and
me when I was in joined with the Ophidian. Could you not at least try talking to him
before starting a war?
"
And if you're not seeing a connection, think 'big scary person or polity that can match the
Guardians in open war...'
"Paul, it-." Guy pauses, and looks at me quizzically. "You sayin' you ain't on our side?"
"If Lord Malvolio declares war on the Green Lantern Corps, the Orange Lantern Corps would be neutral. If you're out of action but not killed I'd evacuate you without your ring, but that's-"
And be
very polite to Malvolio about it, presumably. 800-pound gorilla, remember...
"Oh, thanks."
"-all I can do. Compared to what the Reach or the Spider Guild do every day, Malvolio ruling One Six Three Four is a non-iss-."
"Warning! Will detected!"
Now, Incoming Malvolio, outgoing Priest, or one of Guy's squad deciding to take matters into their own manipulators?
