Thomas Johnston
Ascended Scathach Enjoyer
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2017
- Messages
- 3,399
- Likes received
- 183,619
Don't you know you never challenge a DM like that, I'll be making rolls for random encounters and events!
-
The site has now migrated to Xenforo 2. If you see any issues with the forum operation, please post them in the feedback thread.
-
Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
-
The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
[RPG] Naruto Reincarnation!
- Thread starter Thomas Johnston
- Start date
Don't you know you never challenge a DM like that, I'll be making rolls for random encounters and events!
Xamusel
Currently a Gamma-11 on FFN
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2015
- Messages
- 2,438
- Likes received
- 3,390
...*ahem* Ryu, just so you know, I'll be keeping a tally of the votes for you. I don't know if you found the vote tallying program on this forum, but I figured I would help you out some, in case you didn't.
In any case... mrttao wasn't challenging you, I don't think. He can correct me if I'm wrong, though.
Now, onto the important stuff, at least for this quest:
[x] Konohagakure
-[x] Uzumaki Descendant
In any case... mrttao wasn't challenging you, I don't think. He can correct me if I'm wrong, though.
Now, onto the important stuff, at least for this quest:
[x] Konohagakure
-[x] Uzumaki Descendant
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
I said you are correct in your recollection of naruto cannon.
Agreeing with the QM about something not even related to the quest is hardly challenging him
Thomas Johnston
Ascended Scathach Enjoyer
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2017
- Messages
- 3,399
- Likes received
- 183,619
"Most Ninja Never Make it to Jonin (Although we obviously will)"
That was your challenge, plus it's a joke, text doesn't translate teasing very well
Xamusel
Currently a Gamma-11 on FFN
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2015
- Messages
- 2,438
- Likes received
- 3,390
...okay, even if someone like me (who is almost literally blind to sarcasm on the net) is unable to tell teasing apart from anything else, I would've expected someone else to pick up on that instead. I guess I was wrong.
Thomas Johnston
Ascended Scathach Enjoyer
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2017
- Messages
- 3,399
- Likes received
- 183,619
Alright guys! Closing the voting for the starting location/perk! Will be posting the next part tomorrow!
[x] Konohagakure
-[x] Uzumaki Descendant (6 Votes)
[X] Kumogakure
-[X] Ride the Lighting! (2 Votes)
[X] Konohagakure
-[X] Eyes in the back of your head (1 Vote)
[X] Konohagakure
-[X] Troublesome (1 Vote)
[X] Mizugakure
-Making a Splash (1 Vote)
[x] Konohagakure
-[x] Uzumaki Descendant (6 Votes)
[X] Kumogakure
-[X] Ride the Lighting! (2 Votes)
[X] Konohagakure
-[X] Eyes in the back of your head (1 Vote)
[X] Konohagakure
-[X] Troublesome (1 Vote)
[X] Mizugakure
-Making a Splash (1 Vote)
Thomas Johnston
Ascended Scathach Enjoyer
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2017
- Messages
- 3,399
- Likes received
- 183,619
Sorry, you missed the voting period, but that is where the votes went
Chapter Two
Thomas Johnston
Ascended Scathach Enjoyer
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2017
- Messages
- 3,399
- Likes received
- 183,619
[X] Konohagakure
- [Uzumaki Decent]
Right, you pressed your selection with your currently nonexistent arm… goddamn that's awkward…, it had the chance of being dangerous, but hell, so did everything else in this world, hopefully you don't regret it down the road.
- [Uzumaki Decent]
Right, you pressed your selection with your currently nonexistent arm… goddamn that's awkward…, it had the chance of being dangerous, but hell, so did everything else in this world, hopefully you don't regret it down the road.
You have chosen to be an Uzumaki in Konohagakure, I hope you are ready for the attention such a thing will give you!
Please Select Three Skills from the following list of starting perks!
[]Fangirl (Character will be Female upon creation) - You are a member of a Fangirl Horde. Your skills at stalking your target are second to none, but you give Kunoichi everywhere a bad name. - Start as a female, gain Stalking and Info Gathering Skills - Write in object of you 'affections'
[]Angsty Avenger - Your family is dead, and now you're going to find and kill the one responsible, no matter what! - +10 to combat related rolls, -10 to social related rolls and are easily manipulated by others
[]No Jutsu - Your Chakra coils are damaged such that you cannot use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. However, you have trained your skills in Taijutsu to make up for this. - Unable to use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu
[]Duck and Cover! - Sharp and pointy things have always fascinated you, and throwing weapons like kunai and shuriken have always felt at home in your hand - until they were thrown anyways, so it was no surprise when you grabbed up as many as you could. - Start with Intermediate Shurikenjutsu, but you will always have to buy more stocks of them compared to others.
[]Feel the Burn! - Fire has always warmed people in the cold nights, chased predators away with its light, and burned your enemies to ash! You little pyro you, fire is your go to weapon of choice when it comes to dealing with your enemies. Start with Natural Fire Affinity
[]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
[]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
[]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
[]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
[]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
[]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
[]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
[]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
[]Cool Guys don't look at Explosions - You have always felt the itch to use it ever since the first demonstration of an explosive tag, the urge to just blow your problems up with high powered explosives, hopefully your allies aren't nearby! -Start out with Fuuinjutsu (Explosive Note) skill, but your explosions have a large splash radius and can harm allies if not careful
[]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[]Prankster - Hey, it's training! Your skills with pranks earns you the ire of everyone you target either directly or inadvertently, but hey, it makes you good with stealth and trapmaking! - Start with Trapping and Stealth skills, but when you prank someone you lose reputation with them.
[]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation when caught peeping
[]Good with numbers - You've always been good with numbers, and money hasn't been much of an issue when you started taking control of it personally. - You can find bargains easier and are able to find good investments
[]Truthseeker - You've always hated lies and deceptions and pursued the truth no matter what the cost! - start with the Interrogation skill, able to find the truth, for all it's good and ill
[]Knife to meet you! - Shinobi are good with knives, you've turned it into an art form, don't slip up and lose your fingers!- start with Intermediate Knife Fighting Skill
[]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
[]Packrat - Hey, you never know when a five year old newspaper will come in handy, shinobi never know where their mission may lead to after all, at least you have access to some good storage seals, right? -Start with Fuuinjutsu (Storage Seals), but you will always keep everything you pick up
[]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[] Sneaky Sneaky - You've always managed to find your way into places you shouldn't be, not your fault people aren't paying attention. - +25 to Stealth Rolls
[]What Lock? - Locked doors don't mean anything to you, just that there's something good behind them! - +25 to lockpicking rolls
[]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
[] Write in - I reserve the right to deny certain ones that would be too OP
(AN: I will Add in some of the written in ideas that I find interesting with a nod to the commenter)
Please Select Three Skills from the following list of starting perks!
[]Fangirl (Character will be Female upon creation) - You are a member of a Fangirl Horde. Your skills at stalking your target are second to none, but you give Kunoichi everywhere a bad name. - Start as a female, gain Stalking and Info Gathering Skills - Write in object of you 'affections'
[]Angsty Avenger - Your family is dead, and now you're going to find and kill the one responsible, no matter what! - +10 to combat related rolls, -10 to social related rolls and are easily manipulated by others
[]No Jutsu - Your Chakra coils are damaged such that you cannot use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu. However, you have trained your skills in Taijutsu to make up for this. - Unable to use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu
[]Duck and Cover! - Sharp and pointy things have always fascinated you, and throwing weapons like kunai and shuriken have always felt at home in your hand - until they were thrown anyways, so it was no surprise when you grabbed up as many as you could. - Start with Intermediate Shurikenjutsu, but you will always have to buy more stocks of them compared to others.
[]Feel the Burn! - Fire has always warmed people in the cold nights, chased predators away with its light, and burned your enemies to ash! You little pyro you, fire is your go to weapon of choice when it comes to dealing with your enemies. Start with Natural Fire Affinity
[]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
[]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
[]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
[]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
[]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
[]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
[]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
[]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
[]Cool Guys don't look at Explosions - You have always felt the itch to use it ever since the first demonstration of an explosive tag, the urge to just blow your problems up with high powered explosives, hopefully your allies aren't nearby! -Start out with Fuuinjutsu (Explosive Note) skill, but your explosions have a large splash radius and can harm allies if not careful
[]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[]Prankster - Hey, it's training! Your skills with pranks earns you the ire of everyone you target either directly or inadvertently, but hey, it makes you good with stealth and trapmaking! - Start with Trapping and Stealth skills, but when you prank someone you lose reputation with them.
[]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation when caught peeping
[]Good with numbers - You've always been good with numbers, and money hasn't been much of an issue when you started taking control of it personally. - You can find bargains easier and are able to find good investments
[]Truthseeker - You've always hated lies and deceptions and pursued the truth no matter what the cost! - start with the Interrogation skill, able to find the truth, for all it's good and ill
[]Knife to meet you! - Shinobi are good with knives, you've turned it into an art form, don't slip up and lose your fingers!- start with Intermediate Knife Fighting Skill
[]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
[]Packrat - Hey, you never know when a five year old newspaper will come in handy, shinobi never know where their mission may lead to after all, at least you have access to some good storage seals, right? -Start with Fuuinjutsu (Storage Seals), but you will always keep everything you pick up
[]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[] Sneaky Sneaky - You've always managed to find your way into places you shouldn't be, not your fault people aren't paying attention. - +25 to Stealth Rolls
[]What Lock? - Locked doors don't mean anything to you, just that there's something good behind them! - +25 to lockpicking rolls
[]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
[] Write in - I reserve the right to deny certain ones that would be too OP
(AN: I will Add in some of the written in ideas that I find interesting with a nod to the commenter)
Last edited:
verynew
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2017
- Messages
- 2,275
- Likes received
- 11,701
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
Plan: combine medical knowledge with henge to optimize and improve our body (up to living god state), use seals to support transformation and to gather and process chakra into stronger and calmer state
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
Plan: combine medical knowledge with henge to optimize and improve our body (up to living god state), use seals to support transformation and to gather and process chakra into stronger and calmer state
Last edited:
The Witcher 10
Know what you're doing yet?
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2017
- Messages
- 120
- Likes received
- 80
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
drake_azathoth
Fabulously Evil
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2013
- Messages
- 3,570
- Likes received
- 10,479
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
thepsyborg
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2015
- Messages
- 554
- Likes received
- 4,641
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
Also, seal ideas:
1. Intermediate seal placed on our clothing: absorbs the excess chakra burst produced by the Body Flicker Jutsu, preventing the usual puff of smoke or swirling leaf effect and rendering it somewhat less obvious to sensor-nin. Could be something we start with.
2. Advanced seal based on #1, tattooed on our legs; absorbs the excess chakra release from Body Flicker, briefly stores it in a buffer storage seal, and filters it back into our chakra coils over the next several seconds; makes repeated and/or long-distance use of Body Flicker considerably more chakra-efficient.
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
Also, seal ideas:
1. Intermediate seal placed on our clothing: absorbs the excess chakra burst produced by the Body Flicker Jutsu, preventing the usual puff of smoke or swirling leaf effect and rendering it somewhat less obvious to sensor-nin. Could be something we start with.
2. Advanced seal based on #1, tattooed on our legs; absorbs the excess chakra release from Body Flicker, briefly stores it in a buffer storage seal, and filters it back into our chakra coils over the next several seconds; makes repeated and/or long-distance use of Body Flicker considerably more chakra-efficient.
Last edited:
Minion #Q
Well worn.
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2014
- Messages
- 5,689
- Likes received
- 5,939
I really want to do fangirl pervert and sneaky and then choose pervert sannin with a j name as the target I can't spell jiraya. But I've been reading to much mito lately. However given that I don't want to shape the character around a joke I'd rather not
instead we are going to choose fuinjutsu and maybe good with numbers. Cant think of a third
instead we are going to choose fuinjutsu and maybe good with numbers. Cant think of a third
Xamusel
Currently a Gamma-11 on FFN
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2015
- Messages
- 2,438
- Likes received
- 3,390
[x]Plan Zero!Assassin/Sasaki Kojiro!Assassin
-[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
-[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
-[x]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
-[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
-[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
-[x]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
Last edited:
Kerfirou
Cultivating Dantian inside a Star
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2015
- Messages
- 4,168
- Likes received
- 10,225
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
Let's see if we can became the fourth reborn/non related twin.
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
Let's see if we can became the fourth reborn/non related twin.
MudkipSage
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1,076
- Likes received
- 15,248
[]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
[]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
Water + Earth = TREES
Water+ Lightning = LASERS
Earth + Lightning = EXPLOSIONS
WATER+EARTH+LIGHNING = Lol idunno. Steel release, crystal release?
EDIT*: ALMOST* Everything else can be acquired naturally, elemental natures don't change.
Last edited:
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
I noticed that the vast majority of those are not actually talents, they are just "start the quest with a jutsu known". However, learning a D rank jutsu is really really easy.
Shouldn't those things actually confer bonuses and perhaps penalties to various learning rates instead of just "start out knowing a jutsu"?
... although I think we might also have some hidden talents based on those choices that are just not shown. For example, iroynin... if we have chakra control maluses how would it work with having actually learned that after all?
[]Too Much Chakra
This is a PERMANENT 3x boost to chakra quantity. With a temporary malus to control.
Shouldn't those things actually confer bonuses and perhaps penalties to various learning rates instead of just "start out knowing a jutsu"?
... although I think we might also have some hidden talents based on those choices that are just not shown. For example, iroynin... if we have chakra control maluses how would it work with having actually learned that after all?
Not everything else. see
[]Too Much Chakra
This is a PERMANENT 3x boost to chakra quantity. With a temporary malus to control.
Jiraya has shown this to be true.
Arbitbit39
I trust you know where the happy button is?
- Joined
- May 19, 2017
- Messages
- 562
- Likes received
- 2,500
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
Lets be the 100 face saboteur
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
Lets be the 100 face saboteur
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
This requires a kekkai genki, not just having 2 elements.
[x]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[x]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
Working on the assumption that there is some hidden talents involved there.
This is taking the best of tsunada (so good at heals she can be supa stronk!), jiraya (seals yo!), and naurto (chakra for days!) and combining them into one OP package
Are we getting gender bent like in your fic?
MudkipSage
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1,076
- Likes received
- 15,248
Hrrm, Thomas Johnston, could we get confirmation on this and/or would this be pushing it?
Edit: Wood release is shown to badass, and Explosion release would mean literal explosive punches.
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
yes, I agree that if that was the case we would be crazy not to take those. So having QM clarification would be nice.
Oh, one of the things suggesting this to me is the exact phrasing of the various elemental releases
But in retrospect I can see how it can be interpreted your way
MudkipSage
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1,076
- Likes received
- 15,248
Yeah, I was under the impression that just HAVING the affinities means you could mix them, thats why Mei could use both Boil (Fire/Water), and Lava (Fire/Earth).
Last edited:
MudkipSage
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2016
- Messages
- 1,076
- Likes received
- 15,248
...yes...(In my defense, Autocorrect said it was wrong.)
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
Thomas Johnston is the current vote going by plan or by line?
current by line tally
current plan vote
current by line tally
Vote Tally : [RPG] - Naruto Reincarnation! | Page 2 | Questionable Questing [Posts: 41-53]
##### NetTally 1.9.9
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
No. of Votes: 8
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 5
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
No. of Votes: 5
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
No. of Votes: 3
[X]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation whencaught peeping
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
No. of Votes: 1
[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
No. of Votes: 1
[x]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
No. of Votes: 1
Total No. of Voters: 10
##### NetTally 1.9.9
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
No. of Votes: 8
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 5
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
No. of Votes: 5
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
No. of Votes: 3
[X]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation whencaught peeping
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
No. of Votes: 1
[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
No. of Votes: 1
[x]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
No. of Votes: 1
Total No. of Voters: 10
current plan vote
Vote Tally : [RPG] - Naruto Reincarnation! | Page 2 | Questionable Questing [Posts: 41-53]
##### NetTally 1.9.9
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 2
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 2
[X]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation whencaught peeping
[X]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
No. of Votes: 1
[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[x]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
[X]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
[X]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
No. of Votes: 1
[x]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[x]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 1
Total No. of Voters: 10
##### NetTally 1.9.9
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 2
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 2
[X]Pervert - You read the Icha Icha series, and do so openly. - Start with Stealth Skill and PERVERT! Perk, but will take a loss to your reputation whencaught peeping
[X]Illusion Master - Reality is an Illusion all of it's own, make your enemies question that with your Genjutsu skills and confound them all, but you better not get caught up close with people, you are frail after all! - Start with several D-ranked Genjutsus
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill - submitted by Verynew
No. of Votes: 1
[x]With this sword of mine - You've always enjoyed the way the light dances off the edge of a sword, some even think you like it even more with the blood of your enemies coating it. -start with Intermediate Kenjutsu skill.
[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[x]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Flicker - In your opinion speed is the greatest thing for a shinobi, and the Body Flicker Jutsu is the greatest ninjutsu ever created. - Start with the Body Flicker Jutsu, you have a hard time sitting still
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Blow them Away - Even the greatest of mountains are laid low when it comes to the wind, You will blow people off their feet when you enter battle. - Start with Natural Wind Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Make a Splash - Not much can stop a rushing tide of water, and no one complains about a source of freshwater, just make sure you don't drown yourself in your own technique! - Start with Natural Water Affinity
[X]Strength of the Earth - Being buried alive is a fate nobody wants, and you can impart that fear into your enemies! Just remember, you can't breath earth yourself! - Start with Natural Earth Affinity
[X]Shock and Awe - No one can miss your techniques on the field with the light and noise they generate, hopefully your enemies can keep their nervous systems intact when you're through with them! - Start with Natural Lightning Affinity
No. of Votes: 1
[X]Shapemaster - Congratulations you have talent for Henge (which is actuall transformation), face, gender, species, clothes - it's all for you to decide, you start with intermediate Henge Skill
[X]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[X]Wait, who was that? - You've never really stood out from the crowd, your face blending in with others easily making your infiltration missions much easier. - you don't stand out in a crowd, for all the positives and negatives
No. of Votes: 1
[x]Too Much Chakra - You possess Chakra reserves greater than most of your year. On the plus side, this means you can power up your Ninjutsu to devastating levels, and might be able to use Shadow Clones. However, you have always had Chakra control issues, and you tend to overpower your Genjutsu, meaning that illusions are practically worthless to you - Triples current Chakra Pool, but -50 to ALL Chakra Control Rolls until you reach 'Mastered' Status for Chakra Control
[x]Sealmaster - Hey, they use Fuuinjutsu to seal Bijuu, would you really want to fuck with someone that has turned that art into an art of their own? - Start with Intermediate Fuuinjutsu Skill
[x]Medic Nin - 'You don't FUCK with the white mage' you heal your friends and destroy your enemies' organs, now you just need to remember where you left your watch! - Start with several D-Ranked Iryojutsus
No. of Votes: 1
Total No. of Voters: 10
mrttao
Gone for Good
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2015
- Messages
- 46,129
- Likes received
- 153,166
Thank you.
Ok so... overall I enjoyed reading it. The writing is generally good... But there are some particular glaring issues with it.
I was positvely impressed by your characters, many things about them that I enjoyed. As well as your overall story, the decision to start some 20 years before canon.
I was very positively impressed by the fact that being the gamer's party only lets you communicate for 2.5 miles and show stats. Not power level you! This is a huge mistake most gamers fics do which vastly detracts from the fic quality, and you avoided that pitfall.
And not having gamer body makes for a much more interesting story. Although I feel you could have done away with HP entirely in this case. Since she takes injuries like normal the HP is redundant
Several things in that story's setup trigger me:
1. ROB... it cheapens things and could very easily be replaced by ANY in verse explanation, any kind of explanation would do really. ROB also tend to be doing things for their "entertainment" which really does NOT show at all. (if they were up for entertaintment they should be tormenting the MC with disaster after disaster instead. They just give the MC some OP power and let them live out their fantasy). Heck, just not explaining anything at all would have worked fine too! "MC died, reincarnated in naurto verse as an uchihua, assigns perks as a baby" gets the exact same setup you did but without a ROB. Even better would be if you changed the setup though so MC is not even an earth reincarnator. Just a native uchihua OC who suddenly awakened the power of the gamer due to reasons (either give an in verse reason like some have done, or just leave it unexplained)
2. Gamers growl, eye brow twitch, curse, and otherwise bitch at ROB and at their gamer power UI. Seriously you are given the best wish fulfiment ever and you do that? chil a bit and have some gratitude. Thankfully this only happened lightly and only in the first chapter. If it continued on to happen every chapter like most gamer stories I would have dropped it. But the only reason I didn't drop it in the first chapter and forced my way through it is because of your quest.
3. Gamer's mind activates to suppress emotions AFTER the emotional outburst happened. most gamer fics do this and I hate this so so so much. the original gamer mind was always on passive. It did not "auto-activate" to suppress the emotional outburst after the fact. Aside from canon misinterpretation, there is also the issue that this both chuuni and cringeworthy.
Also, for some reason gamer mind just seems to flat out stop working in your fic after a few chapters and remains non functional for the rest of the story. It actually makes for a far superior story that gamer mind doesn't exist and the story is much much better once it goes away, but you should edit the first 5 chapters so that she never had gamer mind in the first place instead of just having it silently disappear mid-story.
4. MC making choices which I would view as really really bad. Without any explanation on why she is making those choices. In selecting perks, assigning stats, her combat build, etc.
5. MC has seen the show of the verse they are being inserted into and has all this prior "canon" knowledge. Oh, they also apparently clearly know what "the gamer" is too ahead of time. This is a huge pet peve of mine and makes for a much weaker story. This also calls into question a lot of the life choices she has made throughout the story, where they would have made far more sense if she was a native.
6. Forced male to female gender bending of the MC. ugh, why.
Aside from things that outright triggered me. There are a few less severe issues:
A. I felt that the disparity between her growth rate on screen and during timeskips didn't match up. She would time skip for 2 years and her gains during those 2 years would be less than a single day of adventuring done on screen before the timeskip.
B. I felt the marriage was somewhat rushed. she had a few days of actual facetime with him, spent doing casual sex. and suddenly they are getting married. Yes there was a time skip, but during the time skip they were at different villages and didn't spend any time together.
C. Despite her trauma, fear, desire to get stronger to protect her loved ones (and multiple failures to do so), and so on. She is just way way too chill about things. She never goes out to systematically steal jutsus with her eye power. She never bothers to go to the clan or village library to acquire jutsus. She never bothers trying to acquire shadow clones despite having IC knowledge of the show. She doesn't grind (she went to the training field dungeon only once. then waited until her real life combat brought her to the point where she could go to the next field years later instead of repeatedly doing the one dungeon she could for levels). She doesn't ever wear weight clothes like rock lee does despite the fact she can train her stats. She doesn't even go to the hospital to learn more healing jutsu, even after maxing out the 2 healing jutsu her mom taught her. She reveals her gamer power to multiple people but almost never tries to give any advice/hints/whatever to avert majort disasters (she personally attends the birth of naruto, but doesn't think to insist on bringing, say, sarutobi or an anbu team along. so it goes exactly like canon; as for the uchihua massacre, she just specifically lives away from the uchihua compound for some reason until the massacre begins and then she runs there after the fact; I felt both of those were contrived in order to justify her adopting naruto and sasuke. And you know what, if she didn't have canon knowledge then those would have been sensible instead of contrived. Her canon knowledge never really comes into effect in the story except for making some of her reasonable IC choices become stupid and unreasonable and contrived. Story would have been massively better if she didn't have naruto canon knowledge and we could just say "oh, well obviously she didn't avert that crisis, she didn't know")
D. It takes way too long for butterflies to appear.
despite all those issues I still enjoyed it. I just felt it could have been so much more.
I was positvely impressed by your characters, many things about them that I enjoyed. As well as your overall story, the decision to start some 20 years before canon.
I was very positively impressed by the fact that being the gamer's party only lets you communicate for 2.5 miles and show stats. Not power level you! This is a huge mistake most gamers fics do which vastly detracts from the fic quality, and you avoided that pitfall.
And not having gamer body makes for a much more interesting story. Although I feel you could have done away with HP entirely in this case. Since she takes injuries like normal the HP is redundant
Several things in that story's setup trigger me:
1. ROB... it cheapens things and could very easily be replaced by ANY in verse explanation, any kind of explanation would do really. ROB also tend to be doing things for their "entertainment" which really does NOT show at all. (if they were up for entertaintment they should be tormenting the MC with disaster after disaster instead. They just give the MC some OP power and let them live out their fantasy). Heck, just not explaining anything at all would have worked fine too! "MC died, reincarnated in naurto verse as an uchihua, assigns perks as a baby" gets the exact same setup you did but without a ROB. Even better would be if you changed the setup though so MC is not even an earth reincarnator. Just a native uchihua OC who suddenly awakened the power of the gamer due to reasons (either give an in verse reason like some have done, or just leave it unexplained)
2. Gamers growl, eye brow twitch, curse, and otherwise bitch at ROB and at their gamer power UI. Seriously you are given the best wish fulfiment ever and you do that? chil a bit and have some gratitude. Thankfully this only happened lightly and only in the first chapter. If it continued on to happen every chapter like most gamer stories I would have dropped it. But the only reason I didn't drop it in the first chapter and forced my way through it is because of your quest.
3. Gamer's mind activates to suppress emotions AFTER the emotional outburst happened. most gamer fics do this and I hate this so so so much. the original gamer mind was always on passive. It did not "auto-activate" to suppress the emotional outburst after the fact. Aside from canon misinterpretation, there is also the issue that this both chuuni and cringeworthy.
Also, for some reason gamer mind just seems to flat out stop working in your fic after a few chapters and remains non functional for the rest of the story. It actually makes for a far superior story that gamer mind doesn't exist and the story is much much better once it goes away, but you should edit the first 5 chapters so that she never had gamer mind in the first place instead of just having it silently disappear mid-story.
4. MC making choices which I would view as really really bad. Without any explanation on why she is making those choices. In selecting perks, assigning stats, her combat build, etc.
5. MC has seen the show of the verse they are being inserted into and has all this prior "canon" knowledge. Oh, they also apparently clearly know what "the gamer" is too ahead of time. This is a huge pet peve of mine and makes for a much weaker story. This also calls into question a lot of the life choices she has made throughout the story, where they would have made far more sense if she was a native.
6. Forced male to female gender bending of the MC. ugh, why.
Aside from things that outright triggered me. There are a few less severe issues:
A. I felt that the disparity between her growth rate on screen and during timeskips didn't match up. She would time skip for 2 years and her gains during those 2 years would be less than a single day of adventuring done on screen before the timeskip.
B. I felt the marriage was somewhat rushed. she had a few days of actual facetime with him, spent doing casual sex. and suddenly they are getting married. Yes there was a time skip, but during the time skip they were at different villages and didn't spend any time together.
C. Despite her trauma, fear, desire to get stronger to protect her loved ones (and multiple failures to do so), and so on. She is just way way too chill about things. She never goes out to systematically steal jutsus with her eye power. She never bothers to go to the clan or village library to acquire jutsus. She never bothers trying to acquire shadow clones despite having IC knowledge of the show. She doesn't grind (she went to the training field dungeon only once. then waited until her real life combat brought her to the point where she could go to the next field years later instead of repeatedly doing the one dungeon she could for levels). She doesn't ever wear weight clothes like rock lee does despite the fact she can train her stats. She doesn't even go to the hospital to learn more healing jutsu, even after maxing out the 2 healing jutsu her mom taught her. She reveals her gamer power to multiple people but almost never tries to give any advice/hints/whatever to avert majort disasters (she personally attends the birth of naruto, but doesn't think to insist on bringing, say, sarutobi or an anbu team along. so it goes exactly like canon; as for the uchihua massacre, she just specifically lives away from the uchihua compound for some reason until the massacre begins and then she runs there after the fact; I felt both of those were contrived in order to justify her adopting naruto and sasuke. And you know what, if she didn't have canon knowledge then those would have been sensible instead of contrived. Her canon knowledge never really comes into effect in the story except for making some of her reasonable IC choices become stupid and unreasonable and contrived. Story would have been massively better if she didn't have naruto canon knowledge and we could just say "oh, well obviously she didn't avert that crisis, she didn't know")
D. It takes way too long for butterflies to appear.
despite all those issues I still enjoyed it. I just felt it could have been so much more.
Last edited: