26th June 2012
14:14 GMT -7
"Stable?"
Pony-Artemis tests the stability of each of her legs then nods, tossing her head to get her mane out of her face. "Yeah, I think-." She turns her head towards me. "'Stable'?
Really?"
"If you look everywhere for equine puns, you'll
find them everywhere. The
country's called 'Equestria'."
"What would
you call a country full of ponies?"
"Oh, this isn't the part of the planet ponies come from. As far as I've been able to tell, it's the canines that are the natives."
"So what's the place the ponies come from called? Ponyland?"
She watches my face. "
No."
"Like you said, it makes sense." I trot back a step. "You feel up to walking yet?"
"Yeah, I.. guess."
She turns her head to look along her barrel. Artemis came out of the mirror as a pale green alicorn with a white horn, white-flecked wings and a glowing white mane, which… Lends more credence to the 'long' interpretation of our stay in the future. My own equine appearance doesn't appear to have changed, though I think my 'labour tattoo' might be a little… Sharper.
"A bow and arrow and a star. At least it's easy to interpret."
"Artemis, that's pony-heresy. Getting your haunch-stamp is supposed to be a huge, life-changing event that defines your role in society."
"I don't think my role in society is defined by shooting arrows at stars."
"Have you
t-"
Artemis gasps in shock, tries to reorientate on the sound, half-trips and only stays upright by splaying her legs out!
"-
ried?"
Pinkie Pie… The Canterlot one, is laying on top of the portal. I'm… Pretty sure that she wasn't there when we came through, there's one door…
"How did you
get up there?"
I raise my right forehoof and gently put it on Artemis's right shoulder.
"We don't question Pinkie Pie. Bad things happen."
"Ah?"
Artemis looks at the pink pony for several moments, then her eyes drop to the sides of the mirror's frame. Then they drift back up to the Canterlot Pinkie. Artemis opens her mouth to ask how a creature as physically specialised for flat countryside as a pony climbed up on top of an object with minimal handholds, much less how a creature as broad as a pony managed to lounge on the top of it without either of the other people in the room noticing.
Then she closes her mouth.
I breathe a sigh of relief. "Sorry, just checking: you
are the Canterlot Pinkie, aren't you? I didn't meet all of you."
"Yeperoonie." She falls backwards off the mirror, twisting in the air as she does so to land on her hooves. "Pinkie 'Canterlot' Pie at your service. And I'm not charging at you and shaking your hoof a whole lot because I know you'd fall over, but I'm still
really-"
And PCP-. Oh, good grief. Canterpinkie demonstrates her progenitor's casual disregard for personal space by rearing up on her hind legs and grinning right in Artemis's face.
"-glad to meet you!"
"Ah, nice to meet you too."
"So have you shot any stars? You probably shouldn't do that
here because then Princess Luna would have to nurse them back to health or maybe make a new one and the night sky wouldn't be quite right until she did and that would make all the astronomers mad at her, but on your side of the mirror the stars aren't the same as they are here so maybe you have?"
"I won't shoot any stars. I don't have any
hands."
Her armour came through as light barding, and her bow and arrow-filled quiver are both still there. But she's right: bows aren't suitable for mouth and hooves, and if she had enough control to notch, draw and loose with magic then she'd probably be served just as well to fire a magic energy bolt instead.
"Huh. Oh yeah, I guess that would be…" Pinkie drops back onto all fours, frowning. "Um, you might not want to stay too long then. Ponies who can't use their special talents can get a bit… Strange."
Artemis's eyes flick to me, but my lack of reaction seems to reassure her. Though, actually…
"Are… You and the other Pinkie Pies doing alright in that regard? I mean, you were-"
Her expression goes a little rigid.
"-in… The mirror pool…"
"
I'mfine!"
"For a.. while."
She
twitches. Marvellous. There's a mob of Pinkie Pie clones spread across Equestria all suffering from
Cutie Mark Repression Syndrome, which it turns out
is a real condition. I mean, now that they can party freely they should be bleeding some of the stress off, but…
Maybe we should keep an eye on them.
"Is Luna around?"
"No, she's a pony."
I snort with amusement, making sure to smile afterwards. That appears to calm her down slightly.
"She's in her office. A lot of ponies want to use Sunset's alicornication spell, and she wants to vet them to make sure no crazy ponies get through."
"That seems like a sensible precaution to take. Though I am a little surprised that Sunset agreed to anyone other than her doing the filtering."
"I don't think she
agreed, exactly? But since Princess Luna's a
princess and Sunset's not in Equestria all that much, that's what's happening."
I… Think I'm going to need to ease Sunset gradually into the knowledge that that's what's happening. Luna's office is… Huh. No, I don't know where it is. Drawing rooms, her apartment, various state rooms, yes, but I haven't seen her actual office.
"Please lead the way. Ah, slowly. Artemis is still finding her hooves."
It's a bit of an obvious feed line, but-.
"Whenever I'm not sure where my hooves are, I just look at the end of my legs!"
It's not laugh-out-loud funny, but I snort again anyway.
PCP prances towards the door, and Artemis haltingly follows her. I remember perfectly well how hard it is to adapt, and I know
her well enough to know that she doesn't want advice or help. She doesn't want me to draw attention to it.
We head down the corridor, guards giving us a glance but not running and hiding this time. Which is progress. It's night here, so the guards are Luna's people and I see that they're making use of some of Sunset's lighter equipment. I nod approvingly, then turn my head towards Artemis.
"Given any thought to getting out of high school?"
"Running an empire in the far future doesn't actually mean you know everything they teach you in high school."
"No, it means you learn
useful things. You've led armies. There aren't a lot of people on Earth who've done that and have super powers too. Lex would take you on at officer rank, and then the galactic rim is the limit."
"Yeah, but that would mean working for
Lex Luthor. And giving up my secret identity. Lex Luthor's not someone I want knowing my home address."
"And putting you in an excellent position to shoot him if he acts up, and… Look, your father's record, your mother's record and Jade's record are public knowledge. It would be more strange if you
weren't wearing a costume."
"And I already know you're right, and I already know it's a great offer. It just feels
wrong, you know?"
"If it feels wrong, don't do it. But you should make sure that you're sure that it feels wrong, and that it's not that you think it
should feel wrong."
