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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I was re-reading portions of the story at semi-random (mostly Doppelgangered) and had a few questions and thoughts.

    Now that the Sheeda are mostly neutralized, will Georgia focus more on her sociological study of Earth's schizo-technology issues, and will it come up in the story? I'm kind of assuming she'll somehow locate Boss Smiley (Paragon didn't tell her about him on-screen, but it seems like a pertinent detail).

    Paragon-timeline Zatanna no longer has the Staff of Love, so she's outclassed (in terms of raw power, at least) by both Renegade-Zatanna (New God) and Zorina (who has a fallen angel at her beck and call- he seemed to be a different kind of being than demon, but I'm not sure about that). I know her faith in Christianity got bruised a bunch during the Silver City invasion, and I don't think Zauriel would gain much from a partnership with her, so I don't see her having an angel as a summon anytime soon. She did express an interest in Hellenism and I've discussed people in the story possibly summoning spirits from Greek mythology before, so that could be cool to see.
     
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  2. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    It's a display to predators. Sort of like the ostentatious tails of the peacock means "Look how much energy I can afford to waste making myself easy to catch, I'm so fit you want my genes." Pronking is the antelope equivalent of T-posing. "I'm so fit I can waste time styling on you. Go find an injured antelope to hunt, it ain't me!"
     
  3. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    Turning her back would probably be impossible in the first place. Even if you outright deleted all of her new memories, her soul was changed by the experience.
    She's a different person.
    That doesn't mean that she should give up on trying to reconnect with the people she used to be close with, or learn how to live on modern-day earth.
     
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  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    She apparently hasn't given up on that completely, if her still dating Tao is any indication, but the stress and shame is probably not doing her any good.
     
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  5. Threadmarks: Gothamghast (part 4)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    [​IMG] July 3rd 2012, 08:38 GMT -7 [​IMG]

    "Expand on your bucking proclivity
    So if you need you can even buck me-."

    The-. HAH! The pony stops in mid-air, shakes, then falls to the ground, sits on her bum and waves her front legs at me.

    "Ah, can you forget I sang that last one? Please?"

    "Hah. Ah, why?"

    Aside from the obvious word substitution thing. I mean, I don’t think she's coming onto me-. But then, Grayven and Luna are pretty okay with-.

    "Well…" Pinkie Pie tilts her head to the right. "My uncle Smoky Quartz taught me that bit when I was a little filly, and Mom got mad and glared at him and told him he couldn't have any more adult soda and I don't want to get him in trouble again."

    She sounds… Completely… Genuine? Does she not..? Realize..? I was.. kinda assuming that 'buck' and 'fuck' weren't near-phonemes in ponyspeak, but… That song makes it pretty clear that they are. Unless I'm just so… Unpony, or whatever, that I'm seeing things that aren't there.

    "Okay. But… Did he teach you any other verses?"

    "One or two." She taps her chin with her right front hoof. "And he might have been right? My friend Rainbow Dash is a pegasus and she does everything fast, so I guess it would make sense if she bucked fast too, but I've never seen a unicorn buck. Even when we help out Applejack on the farm, Twilight and Rarity use their horns instead. And that wasn't how that verse went at all."

    I'm moving before I really think about it, and legs that I can usually barely control are.. hugging her? It feels weird, having the fur on my chest rubbing against hers and her sweet-smelling mane in my nose, but… Nice? She hugs me back, and she's stronger than she looks. All that bouncing's healthy exercise, I guess? It's like hugging Barney the Dinosaur.

    Only less terrifying.

    I let go and shuffle back a bit before getting back on all four hooves. I… Like this pony. She's so… Open, and cheerful. Just being around her makes…

    "Ah, are you okay? You looked kinda sad there for a moment."

    "It's…"

    It's why Grayven asked her to show me around, obviously. He thinks I need to open up to a pink party pony who doesn't know what 'adult soda' is.

    I mean… Maybe?

    I clear my throat. "So, was that a.. traditional.. earth pony song?"

    She nods. "Uh-huh! Every earth pony town that does any bucking at all has their own version! Do the ponies where you come from have a song like that?"

    "Ah… Not.. really? Human legs don't really work like that."

    "Do you have songs about climbing trees instead?"

    "No? Why would-?" Right. "You know we're not.. monkeys, right? I mean, we're related, but we've been upright for about six million years."

    She nods.

    "So they'd be really old songs."

    "I don't think we even had language back then."

    "Okay. What songs do humans sing? What songs did your uncle teach you?"

    "Well… I grew up on a different continent to my mom's family. And all Dad ever told us about his side of the family was that they died. So… They kinda didn't."

    "Um. Oh. Um. What about your mom and dad?"

    "Mom once made up a song about stabbing people? It's not.. really something I wanna pass on to an alien civilisation."

    "Ah… Like, joke… Stabbing? Like a murder mystery party?"

    "No, like stabbing someone with a knife so they die. My parents were thieves and murderers. Or.. are, in Mom's case. I didn’t exactly have a normal childhood."

    Pinkie Pie shifts awkwardly. "I didn't have a normal foalhood either, but for me that just means I grew up on a rock farm. Um. Are you okay?"

    "How would I know?"

    "Oh, whaw. I.. try and make people happy? But I'm not actually a trained counsellor pony? Um…" Her left ear flicks nervously, then she gets up and stands next to me, not quite touching me but making me aware that she's there. "But we can talk about it if you want?"

    Talking to a talking pony plush doll beats trying to talk to Dinah again. And whatever Grayven says, I'm leaving Guy Gardner as a last option.

    "You know, I'm actually older than my mom?"

    "How does that work?"

    "Time travel. I went to the future for a long time, then came back."

    "A long long time?"

    "Yeah, I think so."

    "Like, Hearthwarming Cake takes a long time, or like a tree growing takes a long time? Or like Princess Celestia's ruled Equestria for a long time?"

    "Probably that last one. Me and Grayven ruled the whole planet."

    "Was it fun?"

    "I wouldn't call it fun. But… I.. miss it. It's pretty much all I've done for so long that now there's this.. hole in my life."

    "Hey, that sounds a lot like Princess Celestia!"

    Grayven's girlfriend's sister. And Sunset's teacher, before she came to Earth after they had a fight. I've seen her a couple of times but I don't really know her.

    "How do you mean?"

    "Well, she's ruled Equestria for over a thousand years! And I've never even heard of her doing anything that wasn't something to do with that."

    "What did she do before that?"

    "Uh." Pinkie Pie stares straight forward, her eyes wide. "Before? I can't-. I mean, they weren't in charge in the Hearthwarming story, so I guess she wasn't always in charge?" She taps her chin with her right front hoof. "It's just-. She's-. The.. Princess."

    She shakes her head, her hair blurring-. Is her muzzle bending, or is that just an optical illusion?

    "What kinda things did you do when you were in charge?"

    "I…"

    I remember fighting. And arguing. Commanding and managing logistics. Reading reports and checking that the people writing them weren't lying to me. Trying to instil some sort of unifying ideology in a people who only cared about themselves and maybe those immediately around them. And then when I got back together with Grayven… Things got easier, but there was always something. A sports event to open. A research project to monitor. We… Went to see plays a couple of times, but that was because we'd only just got the Sheeda to start doing cultural stuff. Yeah, it wasn't all exhausting, but I can't remember anything I just did for fun.

    "I worked. I worked a whole lot."

    "What did you do when you weren't working?"

    What hobbies did I even have before I went to the Land of Summer's End? Apart from vigilantism. I can't remember anything.

    "I think that was just when I was asleep."

    Pinkie stares at me, her mouth hanging slightly open.

    "Ok-ay, well, how about we do some stuff I think is fun, and we see if that helps?"

    I nod, and give her a small smile. I guess it can't hurt, can it?
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2021
  6. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    This is so heartwarming, it hurts... But in that really good way, you know?
     
  7. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    That was bucking adorable.
     
  8. Jack of Olives

    Jack of Olives Knows just enough to be dangerous.

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    ... Is it wrong that I consider this the best idea Graven has ever had?
     
  9. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    One of. I really like how he cut down Klarion on live television.
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well it's nice that she offered.

    Never!

    I ship it.

    Do not mention the abomination!

    True.

    And it's nice to know that even a demigoddesses who has spent a long time in a post apocalyptic wasteland is still scared of that creature.

    Well grunting noises may have had some meaning to ancient humans.

    None. In fact I think her uncle on her mothers side is still in a hospital in Vietnam due to exposure to Agent Orange due to renegade not healing him or having someone else do it. At least I think he didn't do it. I know he helped her grandmother, but that's it.

    Really hope she meets them.

    I think we tend to forget that while Paula has reformed she was once a very dangerous person.

    I think a lot of people feel that way about him.
     
  11. Vice Xarno

    Vice Xarno Versed in the lewd.

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    Mr Zoat what with Renegade Paula still being a murderer and a thief? did you mean to have Atemis say her sister? or did Renegade Paula go back to being a villain?

    also i just remembered a little while back in the Paragon episode, what happened to Dana Dearden again?
     
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  12. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Oh, my, Pinkie Pie! How.. generous of you! Methinks the song got away from her a little there.

    And even she knows how lewd that one sounded. Heheh.

    Hey, it's a drinking song, it's meant to be suggestively bawdy. :D If the ladies aren't blushing a little, you haven't sung it loudly enough!

    No, it's not you, I think. She's just playing dumb to be disarming. It is Pinkie Pie, after all.

    :rolleyes: ...Okay, Pinkie, there's such a thing as taking a joke too far...
    "No such thing!"
    Oi! Get back behind the fourth wall, you puce pony!

    Don't worry, that sense of existential fear applies to nearly all mascot characters... :eek: Imagine if a Yellow Lantern weaponised the Uncanny Valley like that. Gyah.

    And she's very perceptive, too. Even without her Pinkie Sense. Man, imagine her with an Indigo Ring (minus the brainwashing setup...)

    Don't doubt the Brony's knowledge, girl. Sometimes, you need a little Harmony in your life. Especially at a time like this.

    x3 Oh, my, yes. Oh, they don't generally come out and say what they're really singing about, but you can work it out...

    Hey, now, Pinkie. isn't that a little speciesist?

    ...With rocks in and everything. ;)

    Ah, the joy of a barely-industrial culture. Assuming that everything is passed down on a personal scale.

    Yeah, that's a bit of a downer, even if she doesn't know it's all lies. Shame about Vietnam in Renegade's parallel, though...

    Ah, Pinkie. Grabbing the wrong end of the stick, and then shaking it all about.

    :(...And that simple question cuts right to the heart of the matter. Damn, Pinkie Pie, you know just what to say sometimes... :oops:

    And honestly, I think what Artemis needs right now is a little Laughter...

    Heh, yeah, that would be a bit strange, wouldn't it?

    Oh, yeah. Do try not to break the pony by telling her all the things you actually did there, though...

    The worst part is, even she doesn't know exactly how long it was. Such is the nature of warped time.

    Not quite like missing a loved one, but for a New God... Well...

    Honestly, she might be a good one to talk to about this. Even the darker stuff. I doubt her hooves were stainless in that time...

    The joy of becoming an institution. No-one can even imagine you being anything but the distant ruler... Which is why the moments she breaks out of that image are the most interesting times she's had...

    I wonder if Sunbutt ever thought of taking a break for a couple of centuries? Not from the celestial stuff, she's stuck with that for now. But just step out of the public eye for a while. With Sunset's Alicorn Initiative, she might well get that chance someday...

    Oh, boy... :sneaky: Where to start...

    And there's the problem. You became the job. To the point that your metaphysique is shaped like it now. Maybe you need to break out of that Ruler mentality...

    Yeah, that would be the problem...

    I doubt she could even imagine someone like that, or doing something like that...

    Yesss... Learn how to play again. How to relax. How to live.

    And with three little words, I think Pinkie just cracked the shell Artemis built up around herself to maintain her focus on surviving the Land of Summer's End... Yes, this is exactly what Artemis needed... A place where she can learn to be just herself again. Not the vigilante Artemis, not the Sheeda Queen Artemis, not the New God of.. whatever she is right now... But rather, to just become Artemis Crock again...
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Dana is in the future and joined the Legion of Superheroes.
     
  14. Vice Xarno

    Vice Xarno Versed in the lewd.

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    okay but what about Renegade Paula
     
  15. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Except in that timeline he wasn't involved on Jade and took her name. He was involved with Cheetara (who was based on Barbara Ann Minerva according to the wiki), right?

    So if it isn't a anglicization of Nguyen (because why would he take that name unless he was involved with one), it would be a derivative of his unspeakable true name. Pavlos or Peter derived from Paul, Wynne derived from Tallowin.

    Climbing songs, no. Traveling songs for going long distances on foot, yes. And for rowing, and croppicking. Historically, any physically repetitive group task had songs for it. They just got fell out of use since the industrialization.
     
  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Or she knew what she was saying.

    That naughty mare.

    Or correctly enough.

    Don't you dare call her such an ugly sounding word you bastard.

    Ehh, seeing as she's a farmer, well grew up on a farm, it's possible that she prefers such songs instead of big mainstream things.

    And the sun not moving.

    I think it's like how some prisoners sometimes feel. Their time in prison was horrible, but they find it difficult to be on the outside now.

    Celestia is most likely not someone you want to mess with.

    She may believe in friendship and cooperation, but that doesn't mean she can't show how powerful she is when it's necessary. She was one of the people that fought Discord and defeated her sister.

    If they create an Alicorn of governance, then maybe.
     
  17. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I think she meant her mother is alive, while her father, who's dead, was a murderer.
     
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  18. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Maybe it was a mistake.

    Cheetah actually.

    Cheetara is the one in the Thundercats universe, and was apparently one of the potential love interests for Lord Protector Paul if he didn't end up with his current fiance.
     
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  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, she's a murderer. In the sense that she murdered people. She's never been convicted of murder.
    Stuck in the future with the Legion of Super-Heroes.
    Cheetah. Not Cheetara. You're confusing her with the one from Thundercats.
     
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  20. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    NTR jade with her sister? I approve????
     
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Renegade and Jade aren't involved anymore and renegade is dating Luna and has no wish to engage in a romantic or sexual relationship with Artemis.
     
  22. Tembu

    Tembu Trying to read here

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    Man the whiplash from swapping character arcs is the same hundreds of chapters in. Hope one day some Samaritan will sort out the different characters and their stories
     
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  23. Lubaf

    Lubaf Meow.

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    The whiplash is not that bad once you realize that Zoat only switches timelines during timeskips. Think of it like a commercial break.

    Thanks
    Luc "Indiana Zoat" French
     
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  24. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Pink party pony perforns psychiatry perfectly.
     
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  25. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    Eh, it has certainly worked. But more by ‘he got lucky’ that out of him making a wise decision.
    Pinkie can be great for this sort of thing. However she can also be terrible at it. Do recall her initial interactions with Twilight and Cranky.

    There were a few railway songs.
    And of course Disney gave us plenty of songs that fit the theme, even if they aren’t “traditional” as such.
     
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  26. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    It's anapestic tetrameter. The syllables should be in groups of three. Most of the stanzas use a beat of silence before "and" to fill out space, but the last lines of all of the stanzas fill out the first group completely... except the last one.

    Previous stanza, for example: You can try bucking wherever you go!
    Last stanza, as written: Stretch your haunches and buck all the trees!
    Last stanza, as suggested: Stretch out your haunches and buck all the trees!


    I mean, I suppose that counts as exercise:
    Well said.
     
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  27. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Why would Peter Wynne of Earth 12 make his name to have anything to do with the Nguyens of Earth 16? Plus Peter Wynne lived in England when he came up with that identity. I highly doubt he ever met the Earth 12 Nguyens.
     
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  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    He did eventually meet Cheshire, though that was years later.
     
  29. Pez

    Pez Spaceman

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    Let's be honest - who can Renegade use to help her with this that he can trust? A good and honest and friendly pony in a different dimension that nobody but he seems to have access to, that would either do a great job or a terrible job, is probably the best he can do. Dinah clearly didn't work. And the fact that she's in Polyland with Renegade, to me, suggests that her debrief didn't go all that well, and that she's probably frustrated with the League and Team to the point that even Renegade knew she needed to get away from everything to reset.

    To me, the fact that Renegade is trying to help her in a way that doesn't involve conquering proves he's her best friend, and is looking out for her.

    As soneone who has never watched MLP, and has no intention to, I don't get your reference. I don't get a majority of the non-DC references from all the alternate MC's, though. I know just enough about MLP from another story I read that I understand the basics, but not much else.
     
  30. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah, that's kinda where I am.

    I have no clue who any of these characters are, what they do, or even what they look like. I could look them up, but why? Grayven's the side story I only kinda pay attention to (If you like him that's fine, no need to yell at me) as he just doesn't..do it for me.

    I guess it's nice that Arty is getting help? I must have skipped the part she needs help for however, which is fine as looking at the list, Para-Paul returns tomorrow.
     
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