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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Off topic, but for those who wanted to hear the song..

     
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  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Also Poison Ivy still has her powers and because renegade doesn't live there people may be more inclined to commit crimes, unlike in the paragon side where Paul's presence has become a deterrent.

    He did try to take away her family's farm.

    Would you be fond of someone if they did that?

    Edit: Sorry, misremembered the last part there, he didn't try to take her farm away. Though he did try to get her friend in legal trouble and emotionally hurt another friend, so not a lot of reason to be fond of him.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2020
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  3. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Not too sore, are you?

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    However Grayven will happily crush the limbs/murder any supervillians who go too far, so supervillianary is likely down with petty criminality(all the rest) remaining unchanged.

    Cause, you know, permanently hobbling the Joker is bound to drop Gotham down a tier on the absolute shithole list.
     
  4. inglorius

    inglorius Getting sticky.

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    Perhaps "Some mortals"? Grayven seem to be stating a fact, not making a deduction.
    Pinkie, that's a lot of bucking...
     
  5. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    Mr Zoat How did the debriefing with Batman end up going?
     
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  6. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    What sadistic and or moronic individual decided to let Pinkie of all ponies play tour-guide? Trying to get useful info out of Pinky is like trying to pick splinters out of a chainsaw.
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Renegade most likely.
     
  8. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    I was drinking milk.
     
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  9. nobodez

    nobodez Bringer of Context

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    Come now, you should know by now that, if you're prone to literal spit-takes that you should refrain from any sort of drinking while reading an update to this story.

    (and if you're being sarcastic, then I just don't get what benefit it poses, but more power to you)
     
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  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    As a man who accidentally spilled some milk on his laptop I can safely say that it is a bad idea to keep liquids near a computer.
     
  11. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    *winces* lost a razor keyboard that way once :( smelt horrible!
     
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  12. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Hmm I wonder if Arty will put any thought into Pinkie Pie’s suggestion... following Grayven’s example by bucking Applejack could help her mental health!
     
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  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Or maybe her brother, Big Macintosh, if she's not into mares.
     
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  14. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I mean yes? Quite rude to just toss it out there. I mean if figuring the "riddle" out was a challenge, you could just PM him.
     
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  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Did he? I don't remember that.
    They communicated a summary of what happened with a minimum of difficulty.
     
  16. l---erddad---l

    l---erddad---l Wait, google can see this?

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    I was riffing on the "unicorns bucking something", not serious.
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I tried to find it, but all I got was Rarity and her stealing from Diamond Dog territory.

    Guess I misremembered that bit where Applejack said the land was her family's and thought that's what renegade tried to do.

    'were a fake'

    'wrong'

    Unless this is just her way of speaking.
     
  18. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    I was pretty excited when I saw it was another Artemis chapter, I enjoyed the others more than even the Paragon story, but... sadly there's only like a paragraph of stuff I actually care about here.

    Yeah, Artemis, why are you here?

    The novelty of the nonsensicality of ponyworld wore off pretty early into Gravyen stomping around in it, and it doesn't really have anything else to give, as a setting.
    That's like... the entire draw, as far as I can tell.
    Atleast the previous one with Luna in it had a mildly interesting character dynamic involving luna thinking she was being introduced to Grayven's new wife.
    That sort of interpersonal drama has some impact to it.

    Aside from the quotation paragraph above, the whole chapter is basically "Which animals can talk?" + "How do thing without hands?" + "Random Pony Song"
    So... basically the same as every other pony chapter.

    I can't really complain, what with the daily updates.
    If you're pumping out a chapter a day, it's no surprise that they can't all be bangers, but I'd have much rather seen the debriefing with batman that Grayven barged in on, or at least a flashback or reference to how he reacted. Not just to Grayen posturing, but to what he was actually being told.
    Maybe some interaction and reaction (sympathy, worry, ect) from other members of the league. Wonder-woman, maybe?
    Plus, the debriefing itself could give us a closer look into how Artemis coped in the Land of Summer's End.
    We didn't really see her being the warrior-queen that we're told that she became. Giving orders, commanding armies or even really interacting with the Sheeda at all.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    To get away from a stressful environment for a bit.

    You did read the previous chapters where she was withdrawn and seemed stressed and conflicted with everything, didn't you?

    And before you say she should just interact with her former friends and just do that with no therapy or anything else like you previously did, try to remember that when she tried to do that it didn't exactly lead to a lot of positive interaction, so some time away from them may do her some good.

    And this chapter wasn't just ponies singing and explaining how they do things without hands.

    It also included Artemis laughing and enjoying herself for what appears to be the first time since she got back from the future.

    This chapter basically showed us that Artemis may recover from her experience.
     
  20. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I'm afraid so.
     
  21. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    "Some time away"?
    I think she's had quite enough time away, or did you somehow miss that entire story arc?
    Spending 'time away' from her home and her family and all of her friends is the entire cause of the problem to begin with.
    It is not the solution.
    At best it's a stalling tactic, at worst it might actually make things worse as she comes to associate more closely with Ponyville aliens than her own people.

    Artemis says it herself in this chapter, taking her away from the world that she needs to refamiliarize herself with is only delaying the inevitable, and the only reason she can think of to do so would be if she was on some sort of downward spiral and needed a break.
    ... except, we haven't seen that, because we haven't seen much of her at all while she reacclimatises.

    Yeah, things were pretty uncomfortable for her meeting with Wally and before the debriefing with batman, but that's a single day.
    We don't know how indicative that is of a larger trend, or of whether she actually did begin a downward spiral because we've timeskipped from the start of May to the start of July.

    Anyway, reacclimatization isn't going to become less uncomfortable by avoiding it. The only solution is to get stuck in there, sit down with your former friends and talk, bring up old missions or events and see if they can get her to remember.
    Do memory association.

    If she can remember going to Atlantis (which seems like a fairly safe pick, since it's an underwater city that's probably nothing like anything else she's ever seen on either planet) then that might jog her memory about Kaldur, which could lead to his actions during team events, which could trigger memories of the rest of her friends.

    Leaving right away as soon as things get tough isn't any kind of solution. You've gotta get stuck in there and talk to people.
    Fucking off to an alien planet far away from everyone you know isn't a solution, That's what caused the problem to begin with.

    And no, I didn't say "No Therapy" Therapy would be very helpful.
    I said no pony-therapy, because they're obviously going ot be useless for that.
    Most of them have the mental complexity of small children, and those that don't are still total aliens.
    They don't know shit about humans, or human psychology, or new god psychology, for that matter.
    Their actions and minds are pretty alien, and they don't know anything about her or her friend-group, which makes them totally useless for her purposes.

    Sitting down with Black Canary (even tho she's just a florist) could be more helpful because atleast she's aware of who the people Artemis is trying to remember ARE, and she knows some of the missions and events that they undertook together.
    Artemis might remember who Black Canary is at some point, and that will be a measurable step forwards.

    That's way more than any therapy-horse can provide.
     
  22. Jiro

    Jiro Getting sticky.

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    This looks like a typo but I'm not sure what for.
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    If you mean 'techne' then that's a greek word that means 'making' or 'doing', so maybe Zoat meant it as something his SI does.
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    And it's not supposed to. The Renegade has no interest in her going back to being teenager Artemis, and would regard it as a massive backwards step. He's putting her in a friendly but alien environment in the hope that she'll start feeling better about who she is now.
     
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  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    No I didn't.

    Did you miss the part where she was laughing in joy in this chapter because they visited Equestria, while previously she was emotionally withdrawn?

    Never said it was. I only said that going to a nice place where there isn't so much stress can be a good thing from time to time, but she shouldn't rely on it completely.

    See sometimes a person may actually need a safe place to go to if they are feeling too stressed, and just staying in said stressful place all the time is not exactly a good thing.

    It would be like telling someone to either learn to swim or sink, and then when it looks like they're sinking just leaving them to sink.

    She'll eventually have to learn to swim, but it's a good idea to get her on dry land if it looks like she's going to sink.

    Yeah, you kinda did.

    Firstly we've been shown ponies in this story that are mentally complex and have the mentality of adults.

    There also isn't anyone on Earth that knows a whole lot about New God psychology.

    However the ponies live on a planet with multiple sapient species, so they can most likely adapt to the psychology of another one, unlike humans who mostly deal with other humans.

    Also friendship is kinda their forte.

    And while they aren't completely like humans, they are still incredibly close to being like humans in the mental department.

    Also there's Luna.

    You know Luna right, the demigoddess who was imprisoned away from her home for centuries and is also having difficulties adjusting to the world, but who most likely has more experience than either renegade or Artemis in the readjustment department?

    What do you think the chances are of her helping Artemis through her situation?

    I think they are very high.

    Not really.

    A fully trained therapist, whose special talent is being a therapist, is probably going to be more helpful than a florist who may not have ever trained as a therapist, and even if she did then she hasn't finished her training.

    Said pony therapist can just try to get Artemis to reconnect with her friends by doing a group meeting.
     
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  26. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Way off base. "Wynne" is a respelling of "Nguyen," because he'd made a point about how weird it was that a name pronounced "win" would be spelled like that. (Obviously he gets that it's a particular romanization scheme, but why would you design a romanization scheme that doesn't produce words that are pronounced how they're spelled?)

    Missing full stop.

    Unless this is quoting some existing material, I think "Stretch out your haunches" would fit the meter better.[/QUOTE]
     
  27. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Zoat has been responding to guesses for YEARS. He never tells anyone to take it to PM.

    He just doesn’t really care.

    If he thought it was rude, he’d tell people to take it to PM or he’d refuse to answer yes or no.

    It’s always been a little fun game to Zoat or a challenge he liked to have in the threads. Or at least it seems like that to me.
     
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  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Peter Wynne hasn't met his reality's version of Cheshire.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Nope.
     
  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Ah, yeah he did, when he, Cheetah and Roy went to rescue Clayface, Cheshire was there with Roy and she was apparently pregnant.

    It was during that Covert Community side story in the Gammadion episode.

     
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  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ugh, my mistake. But he hadn't when he picked the name.
     
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