Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

[GiftofLove]

Doesn't help that we didn't get to see the deaths. Perspective-wise, the narration has followed the clones, creating an impression of continued consciousness.

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At some point we naturally flowed into the sequel and never noticed.

 

[VaporDeagle]

If soul actually exist in this fic, I would think that soul is separated from memory and personality.

So even with continued consciousness, Lisa can't really read it.

 

[evildice]

Lisa probably sees the Shard connection's interface uptime counter.

A new uptime counter starts up when there is an abnormal interface discontinuity.

Stop being such a Linux chauvinist, Lisa. Some people need periodic hard reboots to keep functioning efficiently, or at all.

 

[Viterbi]

Lisa? Dragon would like to have a word with you.

 

[SwiftRosenthal]

Lisa? Dragon would like to have a word with you.

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Also, Taylor? Hug Lisa until she stops protesting. She needs it.

 

[dasstan]

They were very much alive, and only Anima had any clothes on.

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This and everything that follows re: drug piles and living Synth seem to confirm that Anima's power, if not in charge of the power interaction, was at directing it. Citrine (is that Citrine next to her?) seems to have been (one of) the other power in use. Or maybe they second triggered due to the circumstances.

I feel like the dimensional lag is very important. QA specializes in instant communication.

A/N- And by "everyone", she includes the audience.

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It's true. I go "Do they have a backup?" whenever something bad happens. If they do, gravy, if not... well, it was nice knowing them, and I hope their contribution to the death of Scion isn't lost.

Gosh, I wonder if Cauldron is hiring?

 

[Ack]

Wow, that was interesting.

Comments and typos:

Why the guy thought it was a good idea to try to mug someone on Avalon?

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Why had

"No you're not," I countered. "You are doing literally nothing except fantasizing about Alexandria. We're having this conversation now."

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Hah!

"I am n-" she hesitated. "Fuck. I am, ain't I?"

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Lisa must be rattled if she's using ain't.

"They keep tryin to act like tigers, even after we've proven they're declawed kitten.

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trying, kittens. OR tryin' , a declawed kitten

"Yes, I have," she responded. "The problem is, you haven't. None of you have. The only living members of Pantheon are me, and fucking Bonesaw. Taylor died, and Amelia, and Crystal. Missy and Theo. And I am the only one who even cares enough to mourn their deaths."

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I call bullshit, Lisa. Two reasons. One, you first started associating with Taylor to prevent her from committing suicide, and then you drove her to suicide. So this isn't about Taylor or any of the others being dead, this is about your own feelings of guilt. You don't want to look your own mistake in the eye, so you're shoving her away.
Two, you didn't mention Zack, who dies on a daily basis, and comes back to life. He's died more than the whole team put together. You didn't mention his name, so you're just fine with him dying and returning, which makes you a howling hypocrite when you decide that everyone else's deaths and revival make them not who they once were.

And 'living' as opposed to 'original'? Wow, that's cold. Seriously, that's cold. At worst, Taylor and the others are the descendants of the originals, and have inherited the positions, and their powers as well. Plus, their memories and personalities.

 

[TanaNari]

Why had

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Nope, the way I have that is valid English.

trying, kittens. OR tryin' , a declawed kitten

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This, on the other hand, typo...

And 'living' as opposed to 'original'?

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I should probably change that to "founding" members instead.

Two, you didn't mention Zack, who dies on a daily basis, and comes back to life. He's died more than the whole team put together. You didn't mention his name, so you're just fine with him dying and returning, which makes you a howling hypocrite when you decide that everyone else's deaths and revival make them not who they once were.

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To be fair, though... Zach was doing the dying repeatedly thing since before Lisa knew him. Hard to mourn someone you've never met.

 

[pepperjack]

Nope, the way I have that is valid English.

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Not my English. That sentence reads like it's missing a word to me. Maybe it's a dialect thing?

(Probably unrelated: please tell me you're not one of the people who says "what happen?" when asking about the past.)

Edit: "Why the guy thought it was a good idea to try to mug someone on Avalon, I will never know" works fine for me. Just sticking a question mark after 'Avalon' makes me pull up short and wonder what I missed.

 

[Ack]

To be fair, though... Zach was doing the dying repeatedly thing since before Lisa knew him. Hard to mourn someone you've never met.

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No, you see, the iteration of Zack who Lisa met was a founding member. After that, yeah, he was dead many times over.

And she never mourned that iteration either.

 

[TanaNari]

True, but he died during his recruitment, so, she never met the one who joined.

Also- Lisa and Zach have a somewhat trolly working relationship. They're not emotionally close. Granted, she's not really close to Theo or Missy, but more than Zach, and she actually knew them for a while before their deaths.

 

[GiftofLove]

No, you see, the iteration of Zack who Lisa met was a founding member. After that, yeah, he was dead many times over.

And she never mourned that iteration either.

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Zach comes back a perfect copy. Because his is a power thing, you could say his brain was uploaded to the shard and is fed back in every time. Only difference I can really tell.

Also he isn't Lisa's BFF.

 

[SwiftRosenthal]

Also he isn't Lisa's BFF.

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Neither is Taylor anymore, I imagine, after six-plus months of power-induced angst and whatnot.

 

[GiftofLove]

Neither is Taylor anymore, I imagine, after six-plus months of power-induced angst and whatnot.

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New BFF acquired; Alexandria's hand.

Friendship get!

 

[dasstan]

Neither is Taylor anymore, I imagine, after six-plus months of power-induced angst and whatnot.

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Well, obviously not Taylor. Taylor's dead, afterall.

 

[Ack]

I have a simple fix for all of this Lisa angst. She gets her memories of Taylor's deaths overwritten. There, see? Now she's got continuous recollection of Taylor being alive. All solved

 

[TanaNari]

Postcognition. "Hey, Taylor, you've only existed for four months, the f--- ooooh... you guys are assholes!"

 

[GiftofLove]

Postcognition. "Hey, Taylor, you've only existed for four months, the f--- ooooh... you guys are assholes!"

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It's ok. Eventually we'll edit out all the parts that disagree with us.

Thus Lisa got a Coil Cap.

 

[SwiftRosenthal]

Postcognition. "Hey, Taylor, you've only existed for four months, the f--- ooooh... you guys are assholes!"

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Coil/Moord Nag parasite, forcing Lisa to understand clones as extensions of the originals. You know, just like normal people who aren't pointlessly angsting.

It's disappointing that such a step can even be necessary. Not shocking, anymore, just disappointing. This shouldn't have even been a problem.

 

[Ack]

To be honest, it's only a quicker version of that process which replaces all of our cells over a period of time anyway,

 

[tordg]

Nope, the way I have that is valid English.

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Compare "Why the guy thought it was a good idea to try to mug someone on Avalon... [I had/have no idea]" and "Why had the guy thought it was a good idea to try to mug someone on Avalon?" to what you have written. Grammatically correct or not, it feels like it's structured as a statement that then has this weird question mark tacked on.



I think the Zach argument is Taylor's best bet here.

...It's weird to think that Zach of all people has, on average, better continuity of consciousness than a baseline human. Excepting Tohu (at least I think it was Tohu), Zach has basically zero gaps in his memory or perception, compared to most people sleeping for a third of their lives. This despite him dying every few minutes.

 

[Coruscant Knave]

"Is..." Sabah hesitated. "Is Anima alright? What about GL? Uh, Genius Loci."

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Was this supposed to be Lily instead of Sabah? Sabah was unconscious a few lines ago.

Don't turn this into a scenario where I have to choose between our friendship and the wellbeing of the team. I'm sure you know how that ends."

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Jesus fucking christ, Taylor. I can't remember if she knows how terrible saying this to Lisa is.

"Yes, I have," she responded. "The problem is, you haven't. None of you have. The only founding members left of Pantheon are me, and fucking Bonesaw. Taylor died, and Amelia, and Crystal. Missy and Theo. You're their replacements, and I am the only one who even cares enough to mourn their deaths."

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Now, I don't care where you fall on the clone thing. Assuming their deaths didn't affect them or their teammates/loved ones is a pretty dick move. Presumably she didn't mean it "like that", but it has the same result.

Obviously, the solution is to kill and revive Lisa.

 

[Beyogi]

Obviously, the solution is to kill and revive Lisa.

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I think hitting her with a power inhibitor might work too...

 

[Diller]

I was wondering when Lisa was gonna snap.

Honestly I can't believe it took this long. This conversation should've happened a long fucking time ago.

 

[aquinas]

Didn't you just have a talk with the nice fairy lady about this, Tattletale?

 

[Ack]

Maybe Lisa should go and ask Amelia, the person whose power lets her unravel every single secret of any organism she touches, whether she thinks that Vicky is 'real' or not.

And then, when she says, "Oh, her opinion won't count, because she isn't the 'real' Amelia," slap her upside the head.

If a clone can pass the 'duck test', then it should be accepted by one and all as the original.

Provided, of course, that the original isn't still running around

 

[Ampersandwich]

Maybe Lisa should go and ask Amelia, the person whose power lets her unravel every single secret of any organism she touches, whether she thinks that Vicky is 'real' or not.

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And then Amelia breaks down in tears, because (thanks to the brain edits, both pre- and post-mortem) she already knows the answer is 'no', and she'll never really have her sister back.

(I don't actually hold this opinion, but "the current Vicky is really Vicky" is a bit of a stronger statement than "the current Taylor is really Taylor".)

 

[RocjawCypher]

I am greatly amused by the incredibly subtle reference to the old "Some dumbass tried to mug taylor" joke.

 

[oneeyedpike]

And Lisa's habit of never acknowledging her emotional problems until she's pissed everyone off is continuing, good to see it.

 

[hellgodsrus]

Le sigh.

Lisa, go read I am a Strange Loop by Douglas Hofstader, which shows what pretentious tripe you're spouting (also it's just a damn good book).

Having said that, TanaNari, I have noticed a slight stylistic quibble I have with your work while I've been catching up with it. Speech verbs other than said. Why use them so often? They're only really necessary if a word other than 'said' will actually add something that the dialogue itself doesn't already have. This is a bit futile without examples, so here are a number from 351, where it became most egregious:

Amelia, Ch 351

"I've found a possible solution to the problem," Alexandria stated. "I don't think anyone's going to like it, however."

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Why stated? Said would do just as well and not sound as pretentious. It would be possible that 'stated' might be symbolic of a particular mindset of the perspective character, but Amelia isn't really that arrogant.

SuspicionWorry. "Won't cost us anything to hear the idea," Taylor responded.

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Why responded? It's clear she's replying from the structure. Unnecessary word. Use said.

"A Thinker ability that grants unique understanding of powers," Alexandria answered. "She's been using it to help Eidolon optimize his abilities. They've formed something of a rapport with each other, "

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Why answered? Of course Alexandria's answering the question, why else would she be speaking? Less annoying than the two above however.

"So, basically, we're calling in Eidolon and hoping he has a power that can deal with this mess?" Lisa added, following whatever script she was pulling off of Alexandria, and I was convinced they had something going on that we couldn't tap into any more than they could tap into Taylia.

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Why is Lisa 'adding'? It's obvious she's contributing to the conversation. Unnecessary. Also, mildly annoying that Amelia spots the Minervandria link so easily with very little reason given as to what makes her think this, but that's a point for another time.

"It's true," Lisa agreed. "The other interactions tend to fade pretty quickly, leaving only their side effects behind. Nothing that continues to use power, at least. That thing out there is made of pure energy. A prismatic forcefield. It has to be consuming a lot of energy."

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You used agreed literally a paragraph before for Alexandria's speech. Why not said? Better yet, why put who's talking in - it should be obvious from the tone of their speech and word choice.

"No weak points?" Taylor asked.

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It's a question. You have a question mark. No need to throw asked in there as well, unless you want to double triple emphasise its questioningness.

ConcernFear. "Umm, Lisa, I just thought of something horrible," Taylor muttered. "What happens if Scion sees this? This seems like the kind of thing that he'd put a stop to if he noticed, and we're already pushing our luck with the portals and dimensional viewing technology."

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Must admit, am not entirely clear on their physical positioning - is Taylor muttering so Chevalier won't hear? In case Scion's listening in? Perhaps some clarity might make it clear why muttered is necessary. Also, I don't know about you, but I almost never think of anyone's speech as actively muttering in circumstances where I can make their words out clearly. Maybe that's just me...

"Scion related blackout currently located in the western Egypt region," Dragon informed us.

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Duh she informed you. WHY NOT SAID.

"Doesn't matter anyway," Lisa responded. "He's as statistically likely to show up here as any other part of the planet in any given second."

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Why responded? Etc.

"Well, that's wonderful," Vicky responded. "So, my job's as done as it's going to get without me getting into cuddle range of that thing. How long's it going to take for the Tinkers to get their stuff done so we can heal the injured and arrest people?"

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WHY RESPONDED AGAIN?

"Hours," Lisa answered. "Maybe days."

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...at least it isn't responded...

"We're going to have Eidolon come in to handle it," Lisa responded.

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Spoke too soon. Responded is an ugly word - it feels awkward and unwieldy. If that's an effect you're going for, ok, but it seems a little unlike your narrative style to keep the prose so...well, sloppy.

And that's not quite half the chapter alone. I imagine I could pull more examples out of other chapters if I looked hard enough. They're really distracting, and make it very hard to take the excellent narrative and characterisation seriously.