Celestial Sandstorm

[GeomZii]

It would also make him "Detach" because air benders gain flight that way.

Click to shrink...

There is also matter of being air bending in the past Airbender only focused on defence.

 

[Mrcuak]

It is on heading of each chapters from ch 2
, Ch2 onwards are unedited drafts.

Earthbending comes with general earth bending knowledge, warrior katas of earth bending, generic earth bender fighting style etc. He can develop any sub bending art , sand bending, metalbending etc later on, if he works on it. He has the potential for it. Notice perk of earthbending is from Avatar- The last air bender.

No, he doesn't have any knowledge of medicine/healing. Only thing is has perk of healing talent that he chose.

Click to shrink...

Oh i forgot.

But damn, you really have skill if those were unedited drafts.

So by definition of the Perk he has a "General Earth bending Knowledge" , you should add the timeframe because it is not the same a past earth bender than an Aang time earth bender general knowledge.

If so , He has the knowledge to basically Liquid and Vaporize rocks/earth , etc and control that.

Ohh so only talent? Nice.

 

[vggooi]

Make good use of those perks, bro. I think you're wasting these perks by not giving them a chance to fully shine. Explore the lore behind these perks to gain a simple template. And the persecution complex in each is giving me anxiety by reading. Just let him cook, bro. Let him be a lil goofy or eccentric, lighten up the personality. Please reduce the use of AI

 

[Mrcuak]

Celestial Sandstorm

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 2: Tier Four ___________________________________________________________________


Kaito POV

When people imagined Sunagakure, they thought of sand. They envisioned a village of shinobi struggling beneath an unforgiving desert, a nation poor enough to seem barely deserving of its place among the Five Great Shinobi Countries. The weakest of the great Ninja villages, which was associated with wind techniques, puppeteers, poisons, and assassins that barely met the standards of other great villages. Perhaps that was the greatest irony of all and, according to the story I remembered, one of Suna's defining traits. Its shinobi so often existed as the perfect counterpoint to the protagonists.

Side villages whose primary purpose was to demonstrate just how righteous Konoha was, disposable enemies, and antagonists. Other villages produced people capable of atrocities that existed solely to make the protagonists shine brighter by comparison. The narrative loved portraying them as emotionless killers who reveled in bloodshed. Their history seemed to have been written in corpses. Their Kage leader could be easily defeated by even the Jounins and Sanins of other villages. The first two Kazekage died from assassins; the third Kazekage was killed by their own Jounin-level puppeteer at the time. The fourth Kazekage, Rasa, was killed by Orochimaru. Even Gaara, who was a Jinchuriki after becoming Kazekage, was killed by Missing Ninjas. Hell, even their own Daimyo, whose military Sunagakure was supposed to be, abandoned it. Again and again, they had to be saved by the heroes.

And now that the war had begun, Sunagakure would bleed; its shinobi would die; Its orphans would become soldiers. And I, a child of two years with the soul of a man, would be swept up in the tide. Who would care if provisions in the orphanage emptied, when the very village was in the war that was supposed to be equivalent to a world war?
And if the war was coming for me, then I needed to be ready.

I opened my eyes and made my choice.

The sand may remember. But it has never met anyone like me.


————————————————————————————————————


Technology in the Naruto world had progressed in some areas but fell behind in others. It resembled medieval Japan, so I had believed I had been born into some distant feudal era. We had electricity, light bulbs, but no firearms or vehicles. I had not seen communication devices like radios; indoor plumbing existed only in rumors only as a super luxurious commodity. As far as I could tell, civilization had progressed a respectable distance. From the scraps of information I could gather and my own knowledge of the world, civilization has diverged and gone off on tangents in many sectors, presumably because of the presence of mystical energy. Most of the Earth's technological inventions and machinery roots were in warfare. Chakra has fulfilled that role, halting progress in military, communication, and many similar sectors.

Before the war, my caretaker used to hum softly while rocking me back and forth, the gentle rhythm gradually lulling me into peaceful sleep. Then everything changed. The world decided it had had enough of peace and descended into chaos. Skirmish followed skirmish, and battle followed battle. The unfamiliar insignia of Sunagakure began appearing with increasing frequency. The headbands became common.


One thing I came to know is how inhumane a ninja village can be. Sunagakure's wartime rationing is a masterclass in bureaucratic cruelty. The system is tiered, and every citizen is assigned a category based on their "contribution" to the war effort. Tier One are Active Shinobi who get Full rations and full access to clean water. Even whatever quality meat, grains, dried fruits, and whatever imported goods remain are available to them. These are the men and women who bleed for the village, and the village ensures they have the strength to keep bleeding. Tier Two are the Shinobi Support Personnel who get two-thirds rations, and two-thirds the amount of clean water. These include medics, weaponsmiths, intelligence analysts, and administrative staff. They don't actively fight, but they keep the war machine running. They get enough to function, not enough to thrive.
Next were the Tier Three, which include the Civilian Workers. They rarely get quarter rations. Laborers, farmers, and construction crews fall in this category. They are essential but replaceable. The village needs their hands, but they can get by with quarter rations and about half the amount of water, though it was from old wells.
Lastly, we, the Orphans, along with the Elderly and the Infirm, fall into Tier Four. We barely got any rations from the village and had to search abandoned wells that are usually contaminated, even drains, for water. We got by on any rations we got in the market, where merchants profited by charging very high prices. The village has no use for those who cannot work, fight, or breed future soldiers. They are a drain on resources, a burden on the collective. They are given just enough to barely survive and nothing more.
The orphanage falls into Tier Four. It always had, but before the war, Tier Four still received occasional donations from wealthy merchants, religious offerings from the desert faith, and surplus from the Kazekage's discretionary fund. The war dried up all three.
Before the war, the orphanage was poor but functional. The children received two meals a day, thin gruel in the morning, flatbread and dried dates in the evening. Meat appeared once a week, usually in the form of tough, stringy goat that had been boiled into submission. Vegetables were rare, imported from the few oases that could grow them, and often wilted by the time they arrived.
The first sign I noticed of change in meals was the bread. The flatbread that used to be made from actual wheat flour was now cut with sand-dusted barley and ground millet. Then weekly goat meat disappeared. In its place was a thin broth made from bones that had been boiled three times already, until there was nothing left but the memory of flavor.
By the sixth month of the war, the orphanage's food supply had been cut in half. The children's bodies adapted in the way starving bodies do. They slowed down, slept more. They stopped playing games that required energy. The youngest ones cried constantly, their thin wails echoing through the dormitories until they exhausted themselves into silence. After that, children began disappearing. Some went to pseudo-hospitals like wind temples infirmaries or sand shrines dispensary, where they died of malnutrition and disease; others were taken by shinobi recruiters, and the rest went who knows where.
That was when I stopped being curious. I had been quiet before the war. Afterward, I became determined to be as invisible as humanly possible. Drawing attention seemed like an exceptionally poor survival strategy.

Unfortunately, I was beginning to suspect that avoiding notice wouldn't necessarily save me. Not that Hiro, who follows me along with Mido, would allow me any silence. We three were of the same age group, with me one year younger, and were raised together, that have created a sort of bond between us. Sure, there are bigger kids, but they spent most of their time outside, where they usually played in the past. Hiro and Mido are about a year older than me, yet they had started following me. Hiro is the loudest baby in the orphanage. He was also energetic and active. Mido, the baby girl, was quiet and shy. And then there was me.
Hiro is the kid who fills every silence, and I thought it was because perhaps silence frightens him. He was impossible to ignore.
He had a laugh that echoed off the sandstone walls, a grin that never seemed to fade, and a habit of asking questions no one wanted to answer.



Why do the matrons lock the kitchen at night? Why do some kids go? Why is the sky orange sometimes?



He asked because he was curious. After all, he was three and a half years old, and the world was a puzzle he was determined to solve.

Other kids thought he was stupid, but he merely played the fool because fools are safe. No one expects anything from the fools.



Or I was looking too much into it.



He is also fiercely loyal in a way that embarrasses me. He'd never say it aloud, but he'd take a beating for me or Mido without hesitation. He just wouldn't stop talking about it afterward.

The older orphans had grown meaner since the war started. Hunger stripped away patience and any kindness, leaving only the sharp edge of survival.

One of them, a boy named Jiro, had taken to cornering the younger children in the courtyard, demanding whatever scraps they'd hidden away.



Heh, Jiro.

Matron Aiko told me orphanages usually gave such simple names like Hiro, Mido, and Jiro to orphans with no names.



Most of the children gave in. It was easier than fighting.

I was prepared to give in too, as I had nothing hidden. The Nutrition perk meant I could survive on less, which meant I had less to hide, and I was ready to play the part of the scared toddler. It was safer than fighting back.

Then Hiro stepped in front of me.

"Leave him alone," he said, his voice steadier than I'd ever heard it.

Jiro laughed. "What are you going to do, weakling?"

"Matron Yumi, Matron Aiko, Jiro-Jiro, stealing from younger kids." Hiro started shouting in broken sentences.

"Keep quiet."

"Go away, I-tell."

Jiro's fists clenched, but Hiro didn't flinch. I could see his hands shaking and trembling at his sides, but his feet were planted, his chin up, his eyes locked on Jiro's.



He's scared, I realized, and terrified. And yet he's still standing there.



Jiro shoved him. Hiro stumbled back but didn't fall. He didn't fight back; he couldn't; Jiro was twice his size, but he didn't run either.

"If you-do-it-again," Hiro said, his voice cracking, "I'll-tell. Then-you-on-latrine duty."

Jiro glared at him for a long moment. Then he spat on the ground and walked away.

Hiro turned to me. The grin was back, wider than ever, but his hands were still shaking.

"See?" he said. "Hiro, protect you."



Idiot, I thought. I don't need protection.



"Thank you," I said quietly.

Hiro shrugged. "What-friends-for?"



Don't get attached. I remind myself.



But it was already too late. I did not know when I had come to see him as a brother.

___________________________________________________________________



Eventually, I discovered the year. 32 AV. Thirty-two years after the end of the Warring States Era and the establishment of Konoha. Sunagakure itself was only a year or two younger. But saying it was apparently heresy. According to the head matron and the priestess of the sands, Sunagakure had been the world's first true shinobi village. Its creation had supposedly brought an end to humanity's age of endless violence and ushered in an era of enlightenment.

I couldn't remember how long the First Shinobi War had lasted in the anime. Canon had barely bothered to explain it. But I understood enough to know that the reality was probably considerably uglier.

I wanted to become a shinobi. Supernatural power was practically sitting in front of me. And thanks to my cheat, becoming at least a jōnin seemed almost guaranteed. No, I would even go beyond that. I would just have to compromise the very morals I held previously, everything I believed about the sanctity of human life. Killing, Stealing, possibly torture. Those were the job requirements.

What choice did I have?
More importantly, I needed to start moving. So, I started investigating my own chakra. Stories had always made meditation sound important when it came to mystical powers.

Surely Meditation was key to success.
It took months of searching inward, concentrating, and wondering whether I had chakra or if my reincarnation had messed something up. Then, about seven months after the war started, when I was two and seven months old, I finally felt a tiny flicker. Barely a spark that I thought, it was my imagination. Something deep inside me that responded when I reached toward it.

And for the second time since my reincarnation, I felt the Celestial Grimoire stir.



Celestial Grimoire — 950 CP


Once Every Century (200 CP) — Fate/Legends - Empires of Antiquity

Talent that appears only once every hundred years might seem extraordinary in the present, but viewed against the vastness of history, it simply means there have already been a dozen or two people like you. World-class talent may represent the pinnacle of what an ordinary human can accomplish, but for those who enter the world of magic, it is merely the beginning. Like the legendary Salieri and his musical genius, you possess world-class talent in one artistic discipline of your choosing.

Singing.

Piano.

Painting.

Architecture.

Acting.

Calligraphy.

Healing.

Or almost any other art.

With sufficient connections, you could become one of the greatest practitioners of your chosen art in mundane history.

But your potential extends beyond that.

You possess an innate advantage when learning magical spells and abilities associated with your chosen art. Such techniques are easier for you to master, somewhat easier to utilize, and slightly more potent when wielded by you.

Magic channeled through a specialized musical instrument becomes stronger for a master musician.

A painter finds spells involving paintings and drawn imagery significantly more effective.

And so on.



Choose Art—


I spent a considerable amount of time debating what art to choose, and finally it was a tie between two arts that would prove most useful.


Calligraphy was tempting. Its relationship with Fuinjutsu alone made it incredibly attractive. Sealing was arguably one of the most versatile disciplines available to a shinobi. Improving my aptitude for them could provide enormous benefits later.

But healing was equally tempting, perhaps even more so. Medical knowledge would directly increase my chances of survival. It would also keep me away from the battlefield and war as much as possible. It would help me SAVE lives. And Sunagakure already possessed extensive knowledge concerning poisons, antidotes, and toxins. If I could combine that knowledge with exceptional healing talent and whatever basic modern biology and hygiene I remembered from school and searched online, the possibilities were countless, making it difficult to ignore choosing healing art. In the end, it came down to being the person who is hardest to kill, and the person the village can't afford to lose. So, I chose healing.



Chosen Art — Healing

Accept?

Yes.

Remaining CP — 750



I waited and experienced no change in myself. Looks like the perk provided me with no knowledge, only talent.



Guess it will only show itself when I start learning Healing arts.



__________________________________________________________________________________________

Click to shrink...

Love the Re write @GeomZii

The changes shows in the "Tiers" and following Paragraphs.

The use of space in the first paragraph could be use a little more , other than that it´s perfect.


The food problem of Suna is nicely shown along with the Explanations.

The way kids behave is as well very well shown.

Mc trying to not have bonds but failing is fantastic.

The only thing i would add later on is (In the following chapters) that the Head Matron Yumi notices him, and begin to feed him with "Books" of Lots of things (From General Knowledge to Healing and Poison).

Apart from that all good , the Perk from the witcher could really use more investigation as Chakra run on Cells and given he basically utilice the minimun and still runs as if he had eat , his body or "Cells" are not normal anymore (Which would basically lead to an increase in the cells or a Mutation of sorts of them).

The Kazekage... such an interesting figure in this setting , i hope at least a file of Mc appears in His desk and he either gets adopted by him or an "Ally" of him.

Why? Because of 2 things , as a show that basically the Kazekage cares about the Orphans and civilian borns.

And as a way to keep honing loyalty out of the Mc plus the resources.

And underneath that... As a way to counter the clans influence.

Anyway i hope for the other re write chapters.

 

[GeomZii]

SYLLABUS OF SUNAGAKURE ACADEMY




_________________________________________________________________________________


Academy Curriculum

​

First Year:

Reading, Writing and Calligraphy, Mathematics, Geography, History 101 (General History), Ideology of Sand 101, Taijutsu 101 (lots of physical exercises, running and drills), and Chakra 101 (Introduction) are all part of the core curriculum.



Second Year:

Rules of the Shinobi, Tactics and Strategies, Basic Exercises, Taijutsu 102, Chakra 102 (Theory of Chakra), Bukijutsu 101, Survival 101 (First trial and theory), and Ideology of Sand 102.



Third Year:

Chakra 103 (Basic Chakra control), Infiltration and Mannerisms, History 102 (History of the Elemental Nations), Basic finance, Report writing, Taijutsu 103, Bukijutsu 102, and Survival 102 (village field trips, occasional desert).



Fourth Year:

Chakra 104 (Chakra control), Taijutsu 104, Bukijutsu 103, Ninjutsu 101 (theory), Arts of Illusions, Intelligence Gathering, Trapping, and Survival 103 (in the desert, near the village).



Fifth Year:

Chakra 105 (Chakra control), Taijutsu 105, Bukijutsu 104, Ninjutsu 102 (Academy 3), Recon and Tracking 101, Genjutsu 101 (Genjutsu Dissipation), Poisons, and Survival 104 (in the desert).



Sixth Year:

Chakra 106 (Chakra control), Taijutsu 106, Bukijutsu 105, Ninjutsu 103(Academy 3), Recon and Tracking 102, Fuinjutsu 101 (Introduction to Sealing), Poisons, and Survival 105 (in the desert, far from the village).



Two Electives to be chosen at the start of the Fifth Year:

Taijutsu 110, Ninjutsu 110 (Wind Style), Fuinjutsu 110 (Scroll making), Bukijutsu 110, Poisons and Antidotes 110, Recon and Tracking 110, Intelligence Gathering 110, Puppetery 110, Trapping 110, Mannerisms 110, Politics 110, and Business 110.

_________________________________________________________________________________
​

AUTHOR'S NOTE-

A note from Geomzii
This have Detailed Syllabus in the Brackets.

​

 

[Hanada]

I totally forget about this

 

[GeomZii]

I totally forget about this

Click to shrink...

Well, I have updated ch7 and will update ch 8 tomorrow and ch9 day after it.

From Ch 10 then I will be posting on weekends.

Kindly re read to avoid any continuity error.

 

[GeomZii]

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

​

Kaito- Self-insert, born with a Celestial Grimoire, black hair, black eyes, Smart, Kind, Helpful, prefers to save lives instead of taking them. DOB- 30AV



Hiro- light-brown hair, dark-brown eyes, Loud, Comedic, Lively, street-smart, who learns by doing instead of theory. DOB- 29AV



Mido- black hair, two ponytails, brown eyes. Shy but Intelligent girl. DOB- 29AV



Aiko- Matron of the orphanage 3, black hair, black eyes, Early twenties, kind, loving matron, smelled of sandalwood and clean linen, the matron who laughed easily and called me sand grain, responsible for taking care of kids, especially younger ones and babies, and looks after all the orphans when other matrons had work to do and took care of the orphanage.



Mira- Matron of the orphanage 3, Dark brown hair, brown eyes, scar on her neck, strict and silent type, handled the older orphans, who brought the provisions, food, cloth, and medicine. She trained kids in practical skills: mending clothes, foraging, defending themselves, and survival skills to prepare them for moving out and searching for jobs.



Sayuki- Matron of the orphanage 3, black hair with a hint of white hairs, black eyes, probably in her late forties or early fifties. She had a round face, a warm smile, and hands that never stopped moving. She cooked the meals, cleaned the dormitories, and mended the torn clothing. She trained kids how to start a fire, how to mend clothes, and how to cook a meal.



Yumi- Head Matron of the orphanage 3, in her sixties. Her face was full of wrinkles, with white hair and dark eyes. She walked with a cane. Handled the finances; visited the merchants and the priests, asking for donations. Part-time priest? Who gave sermons to appeal to the piety of the rich and easily asked for donations.

 

[Mrcuak]

Love the Re write chapters , here are the things i noticed in the re writes.:

Chapter 2 : The Tier of food distribution is a really Nice one along with the beneficts.

It´s really shown now (In the re write) basically the war time economy of Suna and the Logistics distribution.

One point i quite don´t agree , is that Suna has "Kage" level shinnobi , but always they confront either a Behemoth like Konoha and get a full counter with Tsunade or A genius with Orochimaru.

Basically they couldn´t develop very well given the terrain.

I like the description of Mc bonding with his siblings.

Chapter 3 :

Nothing new , except the addition of a new matron.

Which solves the problem of kids past beyond the age of adoption.

Also the new matron is a excellent addition.

And explain the roles that were previously not explained well.

Chapter 4 : A complete different chapter.

The Oasis explanation is very nice and it also explain one of Suna ways to get water.

The houses was a nice touch.

Apart from that Mito Noticing mc is smart is also a very nice thing to see.

The clothes and the Camel explanation is new to me but i see the sense in it.

However the highlight of this chapter was the explanation of the Daimiyo and the Ninjas , i partially agree with you , but i would add that , if a conflict start another nation could attack given the Losses of that village will impact in the defense.

So yeah , it´s more like , you are in a room full of enemies and unless you are strong enough , no change can be enacted.

And mutual Destruction is a promise.

Chapter 5 :

This version of the re write actually show us the "Why?" did they accept the MC in the academy despite his age.

The losses of the war were too much for the village , the supply explanation is the highlight moment of the chapter.

If things continue i wouldn´t be surprised if some old shinnobi comes and exchanges some supplies for Kaito ( Given the clans must have had losses , so a few clans that were in the bridge of destruction coming to pass down things , wouldn´t be out of reason).

Plus ... I think Yumi knows the better Mc performs , the better treatment the orphanage will get.

Plus the Orphanage damages.


Chapter 6 : Doesn´t change too much , the only things that is add is the Matron Yumi reaction , Akiko conversation plus the favor Yumi cash out.

And the letter.

Chapter 7 : Mostly the same in the start.

The time tables changes.

But the Tadelakt is where the change Start (Nice introduction author by the way).

A good thing that could be produced in Sunagakure would be the "Coffee beans".

Apart from that the Orphanage Reconstruction is nice to read Mc later on could even change the terrain of the Orphanage (By strengthening the structure) and make a bunker with Earth Bending plus a nice park for the kids to practice "Ninja games" and Matron Yumi wouldn´t have to pay for nothing.


I hope to continue read the Edits.

So far i like them , in general as Mc hasn´t shown Earth bending he wouldn´t be in the Spotlight , the main counter point to that is the test result couple with War time alimentation.

So... It would be good to basically someone notice, idk if you plan the Mc to be adopted or something , but at least a chance either by a "crash course" of Subjects or an "Extra bonus".

For civilians that basically break expectations or have things that make them special.

Broken clan could search this people to adopt and pass on the legacy they carry.

Another thing that would be nice to see would be the anbu of Suna.

And the secret investigation of potential bloodlines or people of interest.

Spies from other villages would be nice to see it too.

Would be nice to see the clans of : Shiroganne and Hoki.

Fun fact : Theorically by simple mention of the earth bending the Kazekage must adopt Mc (As all Kazekage had their bloodlines related to "Earth" (Sand/Powdered minerals)) making the Mc a good succesor for the Throne given his "Kekkei Totta" is the most complete form of the Kazekage line.

Here is a nice piece of Trivia : In Gaara Hiden, it was noted that the village's strange, sunken terrain is not thought to be natural, which, during the time of myths, was thought that it might be the result of a god, such as Susanoo or Amaterasu, using a technique beyond human knowledge.

Originally, Shukaku was conceptualized simply as a malicious, physical "Sand Spirit" or demon rather than one fragment of a nine-part chakra beast puzzle.

(So Sand Spirits may or may not be cannon , to your decision author)

Idk but a cool concept mixing avatar and Naruto would be the fact that to reach "Yun" levels of Earth bending Mc would need the boost of Shukaku plus it would power up his earth bending while also introducing to him "Magnet Release" and "Sealing".

Here you have some info it could help you with the story:https://desertgourd.tumblr.com/post/171426991102/can-you-make-hc-about-sunagakure-daily-life

Will be editing the comment as the re write is going on.

Kaito- Self-insert, born with a Celestial Grimoire, black hair, black eyes, Smart, Kind, Helpful, prefers to save lives instead of taking them. DOB- 30AV

Click to shrink...

So i take it this is an "Early version" of the character description? So he doesn´t have a problem killing right? (I ask given he will have to take lives).

 

[GeomZii]

Love the Re write chapters , here are the things i noticed in the re writes.:

Chapter 2 : The Tier of food distribution is a really Nice one along with the beneficts.

It´s really shown now (In the re write) basically the war time economy of Suna and the Logistics distribution.

One point i quite don´t agree , is that Suna has "Kage" level shinnobi , but always they confront either a Behemoth like Konoha and get a full counter with Tsunade or A genius with Orochimaru.

Basically they couldn´t develop very well given the terrain.

I like the description of Mc bonding with his siblings.

Chapter 3 :

Nothing new , except the addition of a new matron.

Which solves the problem of kids past beyond the age of adoption.

Also the new matron is a excellent addition.

And explain the roles that were previously not explained well.

Chapter 4 : A complete different chapter.

The Oasis explanation is very nice and it also explain one of Suna ways to get water.

The houses was a nice touch.

Apart from that Mito Noticing mc is smart is also a very nice thing to see.

The clothes and the Camel explanation is new to me but i see the sense in it.

However the highlight of this chapter was the explanation of the Daimiyo and the Ninjas , i partially agree with you , but i would add that , if a conflict start another nation could attack given the Losses of that village will impact in the defense.

So yeah , it´s more like , you are in a room full of enemies and unless you are strong enough , no change can be enacted.

And mutual Destruction is a promise.

Chapter 5 :

This version of the re write actually show us the "Why?" did they accept the MC in the academy despite his age.

The losses of the war were too much for the village , the supply explanation is the highlight moment of the chapter.

If things continue i wouldn´t be surprised if some old shinnobi comes and exchanges some supplies for Kaito ( Given the clans must have had losses , so a few clans that were in the bridge of destruction coming to pass down things , wouldn´t be out of reason).

Plus ... I think Yumi knows the better Mc performs , the better treatment the orphanage will get.

Plus the Orphanage damages.


Chapter 6 : Doesn´t change too much , the only things that is add is the Matron Yumi reaction , Akiko conversation plus the favor Yumi cash out.

And the letter.

Chapter 7 : Mostly the same in the start.

The time tables changes.

But the Tadelakt is where the change Start (Nice introduction author by the way).

A good thing that could be produced in Sunagakure would be the "Coffee beans".

Apart from that the Orphanage Reconstruction is nice to read Mc later on could even change the terrain of the Orphanage (By strengthening the structure) and make a bunker with Earth Bending plus a nice park for the kids to practice "Ninja games" and Matron Yumi wouldn´t have to pay for nothing.


I hope to continue read the Edits.

So far i like them , in general as Mc hasn´t shown Earth bending he wouldn´t be in the Spotlight , the main counter point to that is the test result couple with War time alimentation.

So... It would be good to basically someone notice, idk if you plan the Mc to be adopted or something , but at least a chance either by a "crash course" of Subjects or an "Extra bonus".

For civilians that basically break expectations or have things that make them special.

Broken clan could search this people to adopt and pass on the legacy they carry.

Another thing that would be nice to see would be the anbu of Suna.

And the secret investigation of potential bloodlines or people of interest.

Spies from other villages would be nice to see it too.

Would be nice to see the clans of : Shiroganne and Hoki.

Fun fact : Theorically by simple mention of the earth bending the Kazekage must adopt Mc (As all Kazekage had their bloodlines related to "Earth" (Sand/Powdered minerals)) making the Mc a good succesor for the Throne given his "Kekkei Totta" is the most complete form of the Kazekage line.

Here is a nice piece of Trivia : In Gaara Hiden, it was noted that the village's strange, sunken terrain is not thought to be natural, which, during the time of myths, was thought that it might be the result of a god, such as Susanoo or Amaterasu, using a technique beyond human knowledge.

Originally, Shukaku was conceptualized simply as a malicious, physical "Sand Spirit" or demon rather than one fragment of a nine-part chakra beast puzzle.

(So Sand Spirits may or may not be cannon , to your decision author)

Idk but a cool concept mixing avatar and Naruto would be the fact that to reach "Yun" levels of Earth bending Mc would need the boost of Shukaku plus it would power up his earth bending while also introducing to him "Magnet Release" and "Sealing".

Here you have some info it could help you with the story:https://desertgourd.tumblr.com/post/171426991102/can-you-make-hc-about-sunagakure-daily-life

Will be editing the comment as the re write is going on.



So i take it this is an "Early version" of the character description? So he doesn´t have a problem killing right? (I ask given he will have to take lives).

Click to shrink...

Even they don't have kage level of konoha, they will still be called Kage.




Ch 9 will be last edit as I had posted it. And I have prepared enough finalized chapters to post in each weekend.

 

[Mrcuak]

Even they don't have kage level of konoha, they will still be called Kage.

Click to shrink...

Konoha apart from the best bloodlines mostly , have the terrain to develop.

By the way , given kaito is in a ninja village , in terms of saving lives , you say that in general or the village in particular?

 

[GeomZii]

Konoha apart from the best bloodlines mostly , have the terrain to develop.

By the way , given kaito is in a ninja village , in terms of saving lives , you say that in general or the village in particular?

Click to shrink...

That's only his preference.

 

[GeomZii]

But the Tadelakt is where the change Start (Nice introduction author by the way).

Click to shrink...

There are also terms like gandouras and Lithams.

Yes, I have to search how various communities survive in the desert, how they travel, what were rich people houses made of, what do poor people used to build, what do they wear on hot day or winter chilly night , what do they eat, especially in the medieval times.

 

[GeomZii]

Here you have some info it could help you with the story:https://desertgourd.tumblr.com/post/171426991102/can-you-make-hc-about-sunagakure-daily-life

Click to shrink...

A lot of it I have already written in next few chapters, and A lot of it I think, I disagree.

Plus I am currently showing POV of si orphan who is adult but in the terms of Naruto world, he is still unknown to its culture, economy and politics.


But thanks for it, it has given me some ideas.

 

[Mrcuak]

Plus I am currently showing POV of si orphan who is adult but in the terms of Naruto world, he is still unknown to its culture, economy and politics.

Click to shrink...

One question then... could he "Push" his friend/ally , into basically develop an "Puppet Armor" as a sort of evolution to puppetear? Or at least get Kokuyo to the village later on?

Like Mukae in Roran show us basically the equivalent to a "Modern" puppet.

 

[GeomZii]

Basically they couldn´t develop very well given the terrain.

Click to shrink...

Well, In the past there have been periods when desert communities, kingdoms have defeated overpowered empires.

So everything is not 1+1=2.

Humans adapt , and find new ways.

Especially Ninjas don't fight fair.

In the medieval Japan's samurai were the most powerful and skilled warriors, yet Ninjas were hired to eliminate them. Ninjas couldn't defeat samurais so they use tricks.

 

[GeomZii]

One question then... could he "Push" his friend/ally , into basically develop an "Puppet Armor" as a sort of evolution to puppetear? Or at least get Kokuyo to the village later on?

Like Mukae in Roran show us basically the equivalent to a "Modern" puppet.

Click to shrink...

No Spoilers.

 

[Mrcuak]

Well, In the past there have been periods when desert communities, kingdoms have defeated overpowered empires.

So everything is not 1+1=2.

Humans adapt , and find new ways.

Especially Ninjas don't fight fair.

In the medieval Japan's samurai were the most powerful and skilled warriors, yet Ninjas were hired to eliminate them. Ninjas couldn't defeat samurais so they use tricks.

Click to shrink...

Yeah , but sadly that world did not have Bloodlines and such hax.

So they could win if they do not have that.

In this period of time is "Bakufu" (I think he was called that) is still the Jinchuriky? Imagine being able to create a logia of sand... when medium planning give us the crossover we needed.

 

[GeomZii]

CELESTIAL GRIMOIRE PERKS GAINED




​

1. Nutrition (50 CP) — The Witcher Novels- Ch 1
In these times, famine is a real danger, and many people spend long, exhausting time at work just to keep themselves fed. Food is bland for the poor, and what they eat depends on the time of the year and their location. Only the rich and powerful can allow themselves diversity and delicacies like catoblepas meat. Before you start to rage at the world for lacking fast food chains, know that while you may not enjoy the taste of your food, it is much more filling for you, as you need very little to sustain yourself. Only one or two good meals a week will suffice for a balanced diet for your person. Though, do your best not to unveil this before others, as many starve on what keeps you thriving.



Animagus (200 CP) — Harry Potter- Ch 1 (REJECTED)

You are an Animagus, allowing you to change into an animal at will. A golden eagle is your Animagus.



2. Once Every Century (200 CP) — Fate/Legends - Empires of Antiquity - Ch 2
Talent that appears only once every hundred years might seem extraordinary in the present, but viewed against the vastness of history, it simply means there have already been a dozen or two people like you. World-class talent may represent the pinnacle of what an ordinary human can accomplish, but for those who enter the world of magic, it is merely the beginning. Like the legendary Salieri and his musical genius, you possess world-class talent in one artistic discipline of your choosing.

Singing.

Piano.

Painting.

Architecture.

Acting.

Calligraphy.

Healing.

Or almost any other art.

With sufficient connections, you could become one of the greatest practitioners of your chosen art in mundane history.

But your potential extends beyond that.

You possess an innate advantage when learning magical spells and abilities associated with your chosen art. Such techniques are easier for you to master, somewhat easier to utilize, and slightly more potent when wielded by you.

Magic channeled through a specialized musical instrument becomes stronger for a master musician.

A painter finds spells involving paintings and drawn imagery significantly more effective.

And so on.

Chosen Art- Healing



3. Bending Arts (500 CP) — Avatar: The Last Airbender – Ch 6

You were born with the ability to manipulate the element of your nation, and have been trained in its use. The Bending Arts differ from element to element, but always involve a combination of physical movements designed to evoke that element, focused with the will of the Bender. Bending an element provides substantial control over it, allowing you to move it, shape it, and direct it, though the exact nature of each depends on the individual element. It should be noted, however, that you cannot actually create an element – though Firebenders can transform their body heat into a raging inferno and Airbenders can make the breath from their lungs into a gale, Waterbenders and Earthbenders must have a source of their element to Bend. You also get all knowledge of the chosen bending art. You are well versed in basic bending, and if mastered, you could develop it to an advanced level.

Chosen Bending Arts — Earthbending

 

[Hanada]

You didn't say with art he picked

 

[Mrcuak]

What did you think of this chapter?

What are your thoughts on Kaito's encounter with Jiro?

Do you think his Earthbending training is progressing at the right pace?

What do you think about his meditation and chakra experiments?

Do you have any theories about how his abilities might develop?

The Quote is mine. "Knowledge without practice is useless. But it is knowledge that made the practice worth something.

Click to shrink...

So lot of things to say about this:

1 - Love the chapter , honestly the rewrite feels less rushed and more planned.

2 - Meditation is good , in fact , i am honestly baffled that it is not teach in the academy as a method (Maybe it´s a lesson that is presented later on and not on first year or first period).

3 - I think the Orphanage has a lot of kids plus , kids mature faster in Naruto mostly due to the enviroment and power system , so him seeing something ( Like not fear , the kind he knows he is gonna win) made him re plan his choices and go away.

Maybe they are "Spies" from the clan , etc.

4 - Regarding his progress in earth bending i am torn to say "Yes" and "No" ; My argument mostly comes in what the Earth Bending was based on "Hung Gar" which in this case would be similar to Iwagakure mostly for the region it was based on the building but with great differences.

Based on the region Suna has buildings to and culturally we could say they develop similar fightings styles to that regions :

• Tahtib (Egypt):
• Mizmar (Hijaz, Saudi Arabia):
  

Grappling & Wrestling Systems :

• Beni Hasan Wrestling (Egypt):
• Kirkpinar / Oil Wrestling (Turkey & regional variations):
• R'ketta & Maabza (Tunisia & Algeria)

Blade Fighting & Specialized Weapon Arts

• Raks Al-Khanjar / Berber Knife Fighting (Yemen & North Africa)
• El-Medhra (Tunisia)

They should have developed weapons similar to :

- Jambiya

- Khanjar

- Khopesh

Either way given that he has the "Knowledge" and "Taijutsu" affinity let´s say given it´s based on a Martial art.

The counter point is ... given it´s all based on Japan , the existence of "Karate" is basically a mix fusion given the whole Chinese and Japanese which in turn would give the Mc an "Advante" given the Martial art earth bending is based on , which would given him talent in taijutsu.

Which would basically make him Advance "faster" than he is now.

Like i say , the teacher already suspect something of the Mc given the society and that they are ninjas.

The most surprising would be the fact he isn´t adopted yet by a clan.

Nice Quote

 

[GeomZii]

So lot of things to say about this:

1 - Love the chapter , honestly the rewrite feels less rushed and more planned.

2 - Meditation is good , in fact , i am honestly baffled that it is not teach in the academy as a method (Maybe it´s a lesson that is presented later on and not on first year or first period).

3 - I think the Orphanage has a lot of kids plus , kids mature faster in Naruto mostly due to the enviroment and power system , so him seeing something ( Like not fear , the kind he knows he is gonna win) made him re plan his choices and go away.

Maybe they are "Spies" from the clan , etc.

4 - Regarding his progress in earth bending i am torn to say "Yes" and "No" ; My argument mostly comes in what the Earth Bending was based on "Hung Gar" which in this case would be similar to Iwagakure mostly for the region it was based on the building but with great differences.

Based on the region Suna has buildings to and culturally we could say they develop similar fightings styles to that regions :

• Tahtib (Egypt):
• Mizmar (Hijaz, Saudi Arabia):

Grappling & Wrestling Systems :

• Beni Hasan Wrestling (Egypt):
• Kirkpinar / Oil Wrestling (Turkey & regional variations):
• R'ketta & Maabza (Tunisia & Algeria)

Blade Fighting & Specialized Weapon Arts

• Raks Al-Khanjar / Berber Knife Fighting (Yemen & North Africa)
• El-Medhra (Tunisia)

They should have developed weapons similar to :

- Jambiya

- Khanjar

- Khopesh

Either way given that he has the "Knowledge" and "Taijutsu" affinity let´s say given it´s based on a Martial art.

The counter point is ... given it´s all based on Japan , the existence of "Karate" is basically a mix fusion given the whole Chinese and Japanese which in turn would give the Mc an "Advante" given the Martial art earth bending is based on , which would given him talent in taijutsu.

Which would basically make him Advance "faster" than he is now.

Like i say , the teacher already suspect something of the Mc given the society and that they are ninjas.

The most surprising would be the fact he isn´t adopted yet by a clan.

Nice Quote

Click to shrink...

Yes, I posted these on mid September. From then till now, I have researched desert communities, and devise a schedule and method for writing along with the future timeline. I had enough time to finalize it.
But I had to choose between doing countless edits and posting the chapters.


Regarding Meditation, academy syllabus is still updating. And even Many basic knowledge of secrets of chakra are withheld by Clans and also upper academy administration.

And correct me if I am wrong, Meditation was only shown in Naruto when he tried to master Sage arts.

Also Monks of Fire temples were also shown in Naruto. And monks in overall fiction usually do meditation etc.

 

[Tobiramauchiha]

CELESTIAL GRIMOIRE PERKS GAINED




​

1. Nutrition (50 CP) — The Witcher Novels- Ch 1
In these times, famine is a real danger, and many people spend long, exhausting time at work just to keep themselves fed. Food is bland for the poor, and what they eat depends on the time of the year and their location. Only the rich and powerful can allow themselves diversity and delicacies like catoblepas meat. Before you start to rage at the world for lacking fast food chains, know that while you may not enjoy the taste of your food, it is much more filling for you, as you need very little to sustain yourself. Only one or two good meals a week will suffice for a balanced diet for your person. Though, do your best not to unveil this before others, as many starve on what keeps you thriving.



Animagus (200 CP) — Harry Potter- Ch 1 (REJECTED)

You are an Animagus, allowing you to change into an animal at will. A golden eagle is your Animagus.



2. Once Every Century (200 CP) — Fate/Legends - Empires of Antiquity - Ch 2
Talent that appears only once every hundred years might seem extraordinary in the present, but viewed against the vastness of history, it simply means there have already been a dozen or two people like you. World-class talent may represent the pinnacle of what an ordinary human can accomplish, but for those who enter the world of magic, it is merely the beginning. Like the legendary Salieri and his musical genius, you possess world-class talent in one artistic discipline of your choosing.

Singing.

Piano.

Painting.

Architecture.

Acting.

Calligraphy.

Healing.

Or almost any other art.

With sufficient connections, you could become one of the greatest practitioners of your chosen art in mundane history.

But your potential extends beyond that.

You possess an innate advantage when learning magical spells and abilities associated with your chosen art. Such techniques are easier for you to master, somewhat easier to utilize, and slightly more potent when wielded by you.

Magic channeled through a specialized musical instrument becomes stronger for a master musician.

A painter finds spells involving paintings and drawn imagery significantly more effective.

And so on.

Chosen Art- Healing



3. Bending Arts (500 CP) — Avatar: The Last Airbender – Ch 6

You were born with the ability to manipulate the element of your nation, and have been trained in its use. The Bending Arts differ from element to element, but always involve a combination of physical movements designed to evoke that element, focused with the will of the Bender. Bending an element provides substantial control over it, allowing you to move it, shape it, and direct it, though the exact nature of each depends on the individual element. It should be noted, however, that you cannot actually create an element – though Firebenders can transform their body heat into a raging inferno and Airbenders can make the breath from their lungs into a gale, Waterbenders and Earthbenders must have a source of their element to Bend. You also get all knowledge of the chosen bending art. You are well versed in basic bending, and if mastered, you could develop it to an advanced level.

Chosen Bending Arts — Earthbending

Click to shrink...

Prana Bindu can be a roll tbh and earth bending is something I like
Options like metal bending ,lavabending and ofc sand bending would be most useful helpful provided he really masters it

 

[Mrcuak]

I plan to finish Celestial Sandstorm and one other fanfic before finally starting my own original novel.

Thank you all for your patience, support, and for sticking with me throughout this journey. I hope you continue to enjoy Kaito's story as we explore more of the world of Sunagakure!

Click to shrink...

So this will be a short story? Sad about that.

It has a lot of potential so far.


Still , why hasn´t the teacher approach Mc or a clan to see if he can adopt an Orphan?

Could be they wait till the first year to do that?

A part of the chapter 9 that bothers me is the fact that the Mc doesn´t consider himself to be in an AU.

Regarding the "Seals" it also blend chinese zodiac symbols so Taijutsu could be taken parts of inspiration , which in turn would lead mc to have a boost in taijutsu given the earth bending.

And correct me if I am wrong, Meditation was only shown in Naruto when he tried to master Sage arts.

Also Monks of Fire temples were also shown in Naruto. And monks in overall fiction usually do meditation etc.

Click to shrink...

Naruto Part 1, Shikamaru creates brilliant strategies using meditation to help him develop a plan.

And Naruto uses meditation when he trains for sage mode. And Its only mentioned briefly, but Sakura uses it to store chakra in her 3rd eye region.

 

[GeomZii]

Like i say , the teacher already suspect something of the Mc given the society and that they are ninjas.

The most surprising would be the fact he isn´t adopted yet by a clan.

Click to shrink...

We will see teacher and clans POV, later.

 

[GeomZii]

So this will be a short story? Sad about that.

It has a lot of potential so far.


Still , why hasn´t the teacher approach Mc or a clan to see if he can adopt an Orphan?

Could be they wait till the first year to do that?

A part of the chapter 9 that bothers me is the fact that the Mc doesn´t consider himself to be in an AU.

Regarding the "Seals" it also blend chinese zodiac symbols so Taijutsu could be taken parts of inspiration , which in turn would lead mc to have a boost in taijutsu given the earth bending.


Naruto Part 1, Shikamaru creates brilliant strategies using meditation to help him develop a plan.

And Naruto uses meditation when he trains for sage mode. And Its only mentioned briefly, but Sakura uses it to store chakra in her 3rd eye region.

Click to shrink...

I thought that was the shikamaru thinking pose, and sakura chakra control. But meditation is still there but not said exactly.

No this will be my longest and main fanfic. And infact academy years are a little faster. Story pacing will be slower in genin days. Because there are so many things to write upon.

 

[GeomZii]

Still , why hasn´t the teacher approach Mc or a clan to see if he can adopt an Orphan?

Click to shrink...

Suna politics is different from Konoha, yes they can and do adapt kids but adapting a child that has entered academy and secured Good ranking is no deal for them.
clan approaching for adaption may signals that they don't consider their clan members worthy.
Basically it's politics, a balance of gains and costs.

 

[Mrcuak]

Suna politics is different from Konoha, yes they can and do adapt kids but adapting a child that has entered academy and secured Good ranking is no deal for them.
clan approaching for adaption may signals that they don't consider their clan members worthy.
Basically it's politics, a balance of gains and costs.

Click to shrink...

But didn´t the statistics of the war arrived? Or are more or less like they have hidden armies and such?.

 

[Despacitoleo]

Now, Only If I could learn what CP is? Too many questions.

This thing should have come with a manual

Click to shrink...

idk take a picture of your ass and go ask LOLOLOLO