Commercial Break (Worm / Slut Life) (Borderline SFW)

So yeah, apparently Magical Girls are allowed to mind control their potential teammates for shits and giggles with no consequences.

If Taylor ever hears about this ...

... eh, she'll probably just shrug and accept it, because reacting would alter the story as written.

 

...how do you even get "allowed" from "You did what?! You are lucky she didn't notice!".

She is literally stated to be slightly unhinged by magical girl standards due to using a Pit, and that this was clearly something she absolutely shouldn't've done.

 

And yet, it won't be reported and she won't be punished for it.

She gets away with it. Taylor never hears about it. There are no consequences. Or if it does get heard about, it'll be passed off as "Magical girls being magical girls."

For all intents and purposes, she was allowed to do it.

 

1. I for one resent how stereotyped Brian and his family are.
But Canadian dealing with natives might be compared to American methods and, well, the Treaties were a bit better than cosmetic window-dressing.

2. It is very hard to get someone to understand something, or for them to do same, when their job depends on them not understanding it.

3. More like "get the insanely high-strung (or just plain insane with some of the canon in Worm) girl laid regularly, it should help her learn to relax a bit".
And if the girl is dumb enough to think encountering Thinkers or even certain Strikes (Panacea) won't result in auto-scans... well, best get her an intelligence/wisdom upgrade before she forgets how to breathe.

4. "IN THEORY, THEORY AND REALITY ARE THE SAME"... though yeah, lack of options makes me very annoyed at the "option".

5. Agreed

 

That's assuming she isn't punished for it offscreen. It's never stated in that part what, if any, repercussions the MG faces for trying it. You're making assumptions based on nothing.

I think the problem some readers are having is that the keep expecting the setting to work in certain ways, instead of taking the setting as what is presented. I keep reading some of the comments and wondering where the hell the poster is getting their interpretation from.

 

I think it mostly due the fact everyone is from different settings that range to porn logic, friendship, grim dark, super science, and many more that makes it hard for Taylor to adjust to some things everyone takes for granted as normal.

 

Because I can't think of any way to make a socially inept, traumatised teenager be less likely to be interested in the idea of meeting guys than by making it mandatory that she's going to be having sex with some or all of them. On camera, in front of millions of viewers. FFS, when she was helping Brian put together furniture, he had to remind her to breathe.

And by tricking her into signing the contract in the first place.

If Taylor doesn't end up either bringing down Slut Life altogether, or taking a leadership role and purging about 90% of the shit from the ranks, I'll be significantly disappointed in her.

Because Slut Life is porn logic personified, and Taylor's from the Wormverse, which ... isn't.

The trouble with merging the two of these is that porn logic allows for shocking invasions of personal privacy and agency, all for the sake of porn, whereas Taylor isn't actually accepting of this yet, so every time someone pulls this crap that's supposedly light-hearted fun, or when she gets told "you really have no choice, now let me butter you up by pretending to act in your best interests while really convincing you that this is in your best interests", it just feels majorly creepy.

Seriously, casually mind controlling someone in a porn logic scenario could lead to anything up to and including making her willingly submit to sex. She'd enjoy it, the guy would enjoy it, but there's only one thing it would be.

But that's not the thing that's grating me most about this story.

The thing that's grating me most is how this shit keeps happening to Taylor, and the characters doing it believe they're in the right for doing it, and there's a good 95% chance (from evidence so far) that nobody except the Named Villain (ie, Trichter) is going to suffer any sort of comeuppance.

 

Agreed. Hence my sarcasm (of the "oooh these are our GOOD REASONS, what could POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!!111!!!" variety)
There is a grave, GRAVE difference between this and, say, Waifu Warz, which also sticks Taylor in Porn Logic.

In Waifu Warz, the insertion into Porn Logic is entirely accidental due to a decrepit old game machine that Taylor willingly went up to and then activated (though not knowing of the way the machine worked). Taylor is quite insistent she'll kill Leet after beating the game, is pleasantly surprised by her new body with Shapeshifting being something she'll learn eventually, and decided that seducing opponents was better morally and better fun than going full-on hack-and-slashing her way through the game. Besides, even if she doesn't keep the powers like the game claims, it's a hell of a lot more fun than waiting for Dad to finish bowling with his buddies...

Here? Taylor is actively entrapped by these authority figures (who she can't Sasuke-swear vengeance upon) trying to sell her a shit sandwich which they CLAIM will give her lasting superpowers, and who are insisting said shit sandwich doesn't stink. They are also telling her to modify her body without an easy shapeshift disguise for everyday life once she goes home. And she's threatened with being missing for over a year or losing her memories of the event if she doesn't choose certain rewards, further crimping her game start point (i.e. initial credit balance)

Comparing the two initialization methods into Porn Logic between Waifu Warz and this is basically "finds vial labelled 'POWERS' and decides to merely POKE (not drink, POKE) it while suicidally depressed, what's the worst that could happen?" versus "tied down and force-fed vial of suspicious liquid by cackling Merchants".

And of course that's why you (Ack) and I have such a united front in "Taylor needs to react more negatively and obstinately."

See what I said to Ack above on the difference between means of entry into Porn Logic: "Random Accident that's partly Taylor's own fault for poking around" versus "Being forced into it by cackling corporate thugs threatening to ruin your family" is a HUGE DIFFERENCE.

...Wait a second. "Corporate thugs threatening your family" sounds a lot like the fanon ABB rape farm abductions... o hey Taylor has a similar experience to Emma now!

 

You guys should also consider that Cindy as ex star of slut life might have a skewed perception of what is appropriate or not for Taylor, she might end end pushing the girl in a direction that see her spending half a day with her face down biting a pillow just because she consider it a perfectly reasonable option.... You can see it on some comments she gives on the contract options

 

Maybe not even just due to being an ex-star. She's been in this world for her entire life, it's quite possible that this is the default assumption for what's appropriate.

Same way how I can't understand how the entirety of Japan can live off of fish because I can't stand fish, but they clearly do and they clearly don't think it is anything wrong and would consider me the weirdo.

 

How many times must it be pointed out, Taylor hasn't selected a single thing yet.

Obviously not.

Erm... That was just you rehashing what other people had been saying in the thread for like 2 pages... Ranting about what had already been said rather than adding something new.

Given the author has thanked me for bringing up certain points on at least 2 separate occasions, I'd say I've contributed a fair share.

And I never once said or implied "don't like don't read", though I have seen a few other members say that.

Emphasis mine.

That example you keep giving wouldn't work.

And my quotes are also why I say if the first contract is found to be invalid, and the first contract is what forced Taylor to sign the second contract, the second contract would become nul, because she was forced to sign the second contract under the duress of the invalid first one.

*glances at Guardian54* Yea, no idea where some of these ideas are coming from.

This is the second time I've seen you mention Waufu Warz, but I can't find that fic anywhere, could you provide a link please?



And now to actually read the new chapter.

 

Waifu Warz.

 

Even if I were to accept that description of the story as literally true, I don't see why you'd have to consider that "grating". The story can OK even if some characters behave in a somewhat abusive manner and suffer no comeuppance whatsoever. And it's not such a bad deal for Taylor - sure being forced on the show could suck, but her situation sucked to begin with, and the Slut Life intervention at least doesn't seem to make it worse overall.

Your reaction to the attempted control also appears excessive. If she wasn't going to use it to force her to do anything against her will, it wouldn't have had any significant consequences even had it succeeded. Sure it can be considered to be wrong, but it's not necessarily something you absolutely have to make a big deal out of.

 

Yea... Taylor gonna murder a bitch if she ever finds out about this.


Also this chapter is full of even more reasons why I think the Nanoha-style magic would be better for Taylor. I'm also a little surprised the magical girls didn't say a word about any of the other magical girl types.

 

Because they've specifically been called because Taylor's interested in emotion-based magic, and they probably never bothered to learn the other magical girl types beyond the obvious that Cindy already said?

 

No, she was tricked into a Faustian Bargain, and THIS is what I say to your Faustian Bargain drivel.


Caption: How this should end between Taylor (top) and the entire Faustian-Bargain-mongering roster of Slut Life.

The last thing Taylor remembers is the Locker. For all she knows they're going to shove her back into it (they CLAIM she was taken from hospital, but she cannot trust them). "Take our offer, or stay pinned under that bus in the locker" SOUNDS A FUCKING LOT LIKE MAMI'S RECRUITMENT.

Your idea of duress is one that would not be tolerated in any society that can have contracts, no matter how megacorp dominated.

I align myself with Ack: If this fic doesn't end with Taylor destroying most of the SL system at the very least, I will be very disappointed.

 

So, I just finished reading all the story posts, then going through comment posts, and finally figured out my problem with this story.

It wants to be a full on Porn Logic Dubcon Worm Fic, in the NSFW Section. Cause Really, if this was in the NSFW Section, and with minor changes in dialogue, there would be less to no commentary on the contract portions.

Unfortunately, this is in the SFW section, and is set up to be taken seriously. So when "Serious Tone" Worm runs into "Porn Logic" Slut Life? It messes with SoD, and because the whole fic is based on the moment when porn and serious logic cross, and that moment wasn't done... well enough, people keep harping on it.

And Because the Premise of the Fic is based on that moment, for several people reading, it completely throws us off, pulling our SoD off.

 

The first part - the original deal - is the truly problematic part, as everything else flows from that very, very dodgy 'contract'.

The thing that bothers me is how UNNECESSARY the Faustian nature of it all seems. Bringing her into Slut Life at the point the author has chosen we have a Taylor that has been broken down - but hasn't yet had the time to recover with the goal of being a superhero like when canon starts. Dealing with her fairly and openly would probably have worked.

Heck, there's a couple later points in the story where Taylor (with a more Skitter mentality at that point) would probably have gladly signed on (in exchange for Dinah's freedom and/or a power upgrade she feels she needs as Brockton Bay just kept getting worse).

"So, we're an interdimensional organisation with a ton of technological and magical backing. We just grabbed you out of the safety of the Undersiders' lair for a talk. Your situation sucks. We'd like you as a contestant on our show, we offer great compensation packages including superpowers a la carte. This might make your own situation suck less, so we think we can do business. To demonstrate we're serious, we'll put you back mere seconds after we grabbed you, no matter how long these negotiations last. Here's our brochure, don't be put off by the name, we'll answer any questions you have. Hope to see you as a contestant on Slut Life."

She'd at least have given it a look.

Instead the Tricher opening taints every interaction with the company after.

 

Long commentary short: I agree both with Aсk and Guardian54, fic clashes what we get versus what is intended horribly, Taylor does not (and should not) work on Porn Logic, and plot holes there are big enough to drown a "continent-sized organic supercomputer".

I don't even know why I'm still reading it. Nice language and wording? Sweet, sweet promises that might be held later if I suffer wait long enough? Some kind of Stockholm Syndrome?.. That fic seemed to have so much potential, but now I'm deeply disappointed.

 

Well, I've given this most of a day to percolate while I was doing other things. And I must say, I'm glad I have a buffer and a group of people I know actually enjoy this, because some of the commentary has passed the point of being considered remotely civil, and it could easily kill the story. There's a saying, and I think it applies here. To quote John Lydgate, "You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." So, while I'll take good advice as it is given, I'm not going to fundamentally change my story to sate the whims of the vocal few, especially when the resulting story isn't the one I want to write.

I am not going to be replying to any comments I think are toxic, unless they also have some measure of constructive critism I agree with. I know this is going to piss certain people off, but I don't really care anymore. I'd much rather spend my time writing than 'typing out rants' explaining why I'm not following their 'suggestions' without resorting to massive spoilers - which will probably be ignored anyway.

Spoiler: Replies to things

I've taken your complaint into consideration and have done what you have asked. I have employed a retcon. You're welcome.

That was a poor choice of words on my part. I was thinking coercion covered more than it actually does. It has been changed.

I've decided to use a different method. It will be made clear sometime in Arc 2, or early on in Arc 3.

I found a video about how interpretations differ. You are seeing things that are not there in story. Are they valid interpretations of the words? Possibly. Are the the correct interpretation of Cindy's character? No, no they are not.

Spoiler: Video

I'm not sure why Taylor would seek revenge based on you incorrect interpretation of events. Just saying.

At this point, I'm not even sure you've read the chapter I posted. If Cindy has read Worm or any Worm fanfics, why would she be asking her boss for more information about Taylor, to the point where her powers coming from a biological super computer was a surprise?

I'm sorry to ruin your fun, but Ein won't be making an appearance. It was a close call, though. I decided it'd be too difficult for the other characters to understand the barking.

Yes, it could have ended badly. I hadn't thought of it earlier, but I'm going to add more to that particular plot line now, in order to take care of that loose end.

By your logic, I'm 'allowed' to murder people, so long as I don't get caught.

There are only three people, currently known about, who I would agree *might* deserve some punishment. Tricher, for using that 'contract,' Ross for not stomping harder on Tricher (though Tricher is being protected by his uncle), and Liana for using her mind control magic on a civilian outside a combat scenario.

The attempted control actually accomplished everything Liana wanted it to, considering she just wanted to see what Taylor did by accessing her senses.

I'm not sure what reasons you're referring to. As for why the magical girls didn't say anything about the other magical girl types, would you expect a insurance company (that doesn't brag about showing their competitors' quotes) to suggest you go with a different company?

The story is taking itself seriously. Could I have done a better job meshing the two tones? Possibly. I don't know, because I didn't notice an issue in how I wrote it, and none of my betas mentioned it to me before I started posting. Either way, I'm not going to rewrite my entire story just to try to get the melding of tones perfect.

There are reasons for this, and they may even be valid ones. You aren't likely to find out those reasons for a long while, though.

 

Enumerated

1. What exactly is your bar for constructive criticism? Because my bar is set pretty low and basically amounts to "if thy rage cannot be contained, and thy lamentations ariseth with much profanity, perhaps the time to stop is nigh upon you." i.e. if it's not a ton of howled curses and actually points things out I either incorporate it... or ignore them until they go away.
...Yeah, I subscribe to the "don't like, don't read" school sometimes, but never have I stood my ground over something that was explicitly a throwaway point that was not expected to arouse such furor! I do not understand your insistence on a Faustian Bargain when one was fundamentally unnecessary and it was a throwaway plot point i.e. easy to remove. The only explanation I can think of is "Sunk Cost"... ah...
...I've never used a writing buffer for that exact reason: ability to not railroad myself by Sunk Cost Fallacy into a course that just costs me readers.

2. Ack is saying that you seem to be following this procedure, which I and a few others who have recently spoken up (Chickennoodlesoup, theM and Dobb) are failing to comprehend:
a) Kidnaps paranoid depressed girl
b) Tricks paranoid depressed girl in the name of a shady rape farm (as far as Taylor can tell they're coercing her into lots of televised sex) organization
c) Expects paranoid depressed girl to not become Rabidly Paranoid about you and your entire group
d) ?????
Please explain why this is expected to work

3. Plausible deniability as a Worm fan...
...also that's when I go full sarcasm and wild mass guessing in groping for possible reasons why SL is stabbing itself in the face THIS BADLY. (like I said before, they've had HORNS up various orifices, and maybe NETS, but I don't think they've had HORNETS up those orifices among others!)

4. If the customer is REALLY overly troublesome then yes, the insurance company will advise you go elsewhere. Whether burly security guards are involved in moving you out of the office may vary. You yourself are using this EXACT strategy by saying "I'm not bothering to respond to any comment I find toxic" which is basically "don't like, don't read". As for the burly security guards... Moderators are a thing.

5. No matter how well the later construction is made, if the foundation has giant holes in it (as forcing Taylor into a Faustian bargain is in terms of screwing over the whole SL organization, so I hope Trichter at the very least dies horribly and permanently) one of two things occur:

Spoiler: Great construction, bad start with numerous retcons and patches applied

Spoiler: Foundation eventually just gives way.

For an example of a literary "foundation just gives way" which I know you've read from earlier exchanges, refer to A Cloudy Path writing itself into a corner with ever-stronger enemies while railroading itself to stay at street level. Eventually it ran out of track and Lacks flounced off in a huff instead of admit he screwed up.

So, do you REALLY want to have to retcon and patch all over the place later on to keep the teetering structure standing?

 

So, mainly because I haven't been keeping up with the thread conversation due to life but what was changed?

My opinions: mostly enjoyable, somewhat miffed Taylor isn't thinking far enough ahead but understanding of her IC situation so it isn't worth raising a fuss. I don't expect a writer to fully explore the legal code of a pan-galactic, inter-universal civilisation that lets a company life SL exist so I'm perfectly happy to ignore or overlook some things that don't make immediate sense.

I do wish however that Taylor took fewer breaks when making her choices because it seems as though she has a five to ten minute conversation then does... something? Nothing? We can't tell. That's my largest issue.

 

I mean, she's been actually shown jogging, watching old videos, messing with her bugs...

 

I decided to go through the first chapter and look it over again. I've made some notes.

Also:
it's noted that Taylor is now on a space station. I'm pretty sure that it's not in orbit around Earth Bet, or the Simurgh would almost certainly be taking a close and unhealthily personal interest in it. Which means that Taylor's already been moved away from Earth Bet.

Whoops.

 

Alternate Earths count as still being in-range.

 

So Scion could be wandering past at any moment, then? Given that he can step across dimensions at will?

 

Pretty much, but from what I know of canon he doesn't really care about anything that goes on in the world(s) at this point. So him noticing this would require him to pay attention.

 

I'm thinking that whatever was used to extract Taylor from her bed would've come to his notice. And evidence of a more highly developed civilisation would definitely interest him.

 

Which, once again, requires him to pay attention. And from what I know of Scion, he very much isn't paying attention to anything that isn't himself and his avatar's immediate surroundings.

 

Following only the last few pages of discussing there is something I must misunderstand: Why is Slutlife as an entity considered to be supposed to be unquestionably "good" and/or beholden to a Earth-style first-world legal system?

To clarify: SL is the sort of organization that makes money off of people being literally mindbroken on live television, enslaved, and/or tortured in various ways. This is only a part of what they do, but these are things happening within the Slutlife continuum unless they are changed in a very major way. They are also an extremely powerful multiversal entity that is only beholden to the rules of the even larger shadow cabal which is probably one of the, if not the, most powerful organization in the entire known multiverse.

Now the draw of the show is that people choose to be subjected to all this and that they indeed choose their own fate. This is the big draw of the (part of?) the show Taylor has stumbled upon. I won’t contemplate the possible reasons for this, but there are many.

This has several consequences, such as trying to be "nice" about people enslaving themselves and making the whole situation bearable. Also, offering rewards so people sign up and increasing them, offering rewards both exotic and mundane, hiring personable managers etc etc.

We have also seen the limits of this niceness: Taylor being tricked into it goes against company policy, but only on the level of perhaps an employee being very rude to a customer: "You have our deepest apology for the unpleasant experience with our store. The employee has been reprimanded, and we would be ever so happy to hand you over to a different one. Also, would you like some store credit to make up for the situation? What, you want to cancel your shipment? We are sorry, that is not currently possible."

-----------

Individual employees may be genuinely good, but the actual organisation as a whole most certainly isn’t. At most it leans towards brighter shades of grey.