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Commercial Break (Worm / Slut Life) (Borderline SFW)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Jonakhensu, Apr 8, 2018.

?

Should I post 2.9 a week early or keep to the normal schedule? 2.10 will be on 11/13 regardless.

Poll closed Oct 23, 2018.
  1. Yes, post 2.9 on 10/23

    13 vote(s)
    48.1%
  2. No, wait until 10/30

    14 vote(s)
    51.9%
Loading...
  1. Czlyydwr Llrngwl

    Czlyydwr Llrngwl "Sell ya a door Learn gull" Czly/Celly for short.

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    [​IMG]
    In Taylor Hebert's Slut Life, ass hammers you!

    Shamelessly edited a day later to make the line even better
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  2. LordAnubis

    LordAnubis Getting out there.

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    At this point in time for Taylor has she had any of the surgeries for her body mods? Also how long is it going to take to grow her siblings?

    It should be interesting to see what Taylor's reactions are to her new body.
    We saw a version of Taylor's reaction in Ack's telling of the his story version.
    It's one thing to look in a mirror and look at your self and pick out flaws or what that person sees as flaws, It's going to be something else for Taylor to then look in a mirror after the surgeries and see herself as different.
     
    Ack and bearblue like this.
  3. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Here’s a fresh batch or replies for everyone.

    Yes, yes he did. He appears to have enjoyed it, as well.

    And I think it was more the process than the idea that bothered Taylor.

    Taylor still needs to go through a few more steps before she’ll get her magical gun. Her having sex will take even longer. Barring unforeseen changes, it should only be between seven and ten chapters until Taylor gets and is able to shoot her new magic gun.

    Watsonian reason: Mina didn’t want to start a debate where there’s really no correct answer, as far as she can see, and she has better things to be doing right then.

    Doyalist reason: This wasn’t the place for that discussion, and Schlock Mercenary probably does a better job of exploring it than I would, anyway. It’ll be discussed if I ever find a reason to discuss it. Discussing it for the sake of discussing it is not a compelling reason.

    Or, at least, Taylor did not enjoy the effects of QA being moved. I imagine it was rather disorienting at best.

    I’m sure they can ask. Whether that would accomplish anything or not may be a different matter.

    As others have already mentioned, there is a difference between intellectual awareness and internalized understanding. Most people don’t fully realize the scope of any decision they make until much later.

    That would be a pretty neat trick, considering she second triggered in the locker. I’m not sure it would make sense, considering the circumstances are nothing like her original trigger event.

    That is not my intention, I assure you. Schlock Mercenary characters may pop up from time to time, but so will characters from a number of other sources. It’s one of the fun parts of working with an expanded multiverse.

    That said, I did have an idea for a crossover between Firefly and Worm using Slut Life to facilitate it. It’s not going to be happening, though, for several reasons.

    Yes.

    Efficiency is a relative thing. If the shard is only using a fraction of its mass to allow Taylor’s powers to operate, it’s a lot more efficient than if the entirety of the supercomputer’s processing power is being used.

    This is pretty much the case. There’s the possibility that some of them may pop in occasionally, but that’s true of anyone Taylor becomes friends with or at least becomes a friendly acquaintance with.

    This is very much the case at the moment. She should be a lot more confident when she heads back to Earth Bet, for a variety of reasons.

    “Extreme non-Euclidean geometry” is basically a more ‘scientific’ way of saying “Eldritch geometry.” It’s primarily used when talking to people who aren’t used to dealing with eldritch beings.

    It’d probably help if Taylor started collecting bees that actually have stingers..

    Taylor has not had any surgeries or other body mods yet.

    It will take about a week from the time they are started for her siblings to be ready.

    I plan on taking things a different way than Ack did. I still think it should be amusing, though.
     
  4. Fencer

    Fencer Weaponized Randomness

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    well that’s a bit of a let down :(

    ahh well. Good things come to those who wait I suppose. And frankly I would be hard pressed to think of much better than magical girl sniper Taylor-chan who has had some time to get into a healthy frame of mind.... and into a few different beds.

    Honestly girl was way to tense in canon. getting laid more often would probably have done her a world of good. Never mind that she was a teenager for all of canon, old enough to kill and fight to save the world certainly ought to be old enough to be responsible about sex.

    plus she’s probably going have at least a few OP individuals volunteering a bit of time to help clean up earth bet if the internet chatter we have seen so far is any indication. so that should cut down her canon stress levels a bit right off the bat.

    edit: I lost my train of thought somewhere in that post. If anyone sees it please point it back my way.
     
    Ack likes this.
  5. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Darn. That could've been epic :p

    Point.

    I have no doubt.
     
    january1may and necrolectric like this.
  6. Extras: Preparation 2.!
    Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Preparation 2.!





    “Well, did it work?” Cindy asked shortly after the Tough’s shuttle ventured into Mina’s portal.

    “I am still receiving telemetry from the supercomputer,” Hackerman replied. “So they should still be there.”

    “Didn’t you disconnect from it, though?” Analyst Cuypers asked.

    “Yes,” Hackerman agreed. “But I kept a copy of its dimensional coordinates and opened a broadcast channel with it. It is not as effective as a direct connection, and has much higher bandwidth restrictions, but it should work to let us know if it is still there.”

    “Well, that does make some sense,” Captain Andreyasn said. “As I understand it, Mina will need to recharge her reserves between dimensional crossings. If they decided to take care of that before teraporting, they could be there for some time.”

    “So what do we do in the meantime?” Cindy asked.

    “You could go and pack up her things,” Andreyasn suggested.

    “That would work,” Cindy agreed. “You’ll let me know when she teraports, right?” The look in her eyes and her tone of voice told the others exactly what answer she was expecting.

    Hackerman nodded as he replied, “I can let you know when the signal stops transmitting. That should be when the supercomputer leaves my range.”

    “Good. You do that,” Cindy said fimly. “I’ll be packing up Taylor’s bugs and starting toward Babnockorty.”

    Once she had left, the three men looked at each other for a moment until Cuypers asked, “What should we do to pass the time?”

    “Did you know you can play Doom on anything?” Hackerman asked a moment later. “We could play it on some toasters I have set up.”

    “What, really?” Andreyasn asked. “Anything? I don’t think I believe you.”

    “Sure,” the hacker insisted. “It’ll even play on my old computer. Slowly, but it’ll play.”

    Cuypers’ eyes glazed over for a moment before he announced, “I just had a great idea!” He looked around excitedly before continuing, “Why don’t we see if we can get Doom to run on the supercomputer?”

    “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Hackerman hedged. “I don’t really know it’s architecture well enough to ensure there won’t be any issues.”

    “Oh, pish posh,” Cuypers said dismissively. “What’s the worst that can happen?”




    “That’s weird,” Hackerman noted, as the screens in front of them wavered before turning black.

    “Oh, come on!” Cuypers complained. “I was just about to beat your high score, too!”

    “They must have begun the teraport,” Andreyasn replied.

    “That would cause catastrophic interference,” Hackerman agreed. “It is not surprising the game would crash.”

    “Well,” Cuypers said, “we might as well call Miss Matos and let her know. They should be arriving at our Babnockorty soon.”

    “I’ll get it,” Anderyasn said. “My men are handling the transfer, after all.” He pulled out a communicator and contacted Cindy. When she picked up, he began, “Ah, Miss Matos, I’m just calling to inform you that Miss Hebert should be arriving on Babnockorty shortly.”

    He paused for a moment before continuing, “Problems? No, we didn’t detect any problems with the transfer. The supercomputer was broken down exactly as it should have been.”

    He paused again before adding, “I’ll let you know anything else I learn as soon as my men contact me.” He nodded and said, “I’ll keep you posted. Have a nice rest of your flight.”




    Cindy Matos was feeling rather irritable as she paced the floors of Babnockorty’s main space terminal. She’d landed a good hour ago, and the mercenary’s shuttle still hadn’t arrived. Making her way over to an information desk, she demanded, “Have you heard anything?”

    The desk attendant shook her head. “I’m sorry, Miss Matos, but nothing has changed. I’ll check again, but there hasn’t been any buildup of magical power indicative of a portal or any other signs of arrival.”

    “Damn it,” Cindy growled to herself. “What could have happened? Taylor should be here by now!” She was beginning to panic, as opposed to merely being very worried. Unless teraporting had unforeseen side effects, such as stripping a magical girl of her mana reserves, there was no reason the trip should be taking this long. “I need to make a call,” she decided, flexing her hand to activate her phone.

    “Director Ross,” Cindy began when the call went to voicemail, “This is Cindy Matos. I’m calling because Taylor hasn’t arrived at Babnockorty yet, and I’m worried something went wrong with the teraport. Would you be able to have someone check? Thank you.” She terminated the call and sighed. Now all she could do was wait. She resumed her pacing.




    “What do we know?” Bob Ross asked, looking at the experts he had contacted. The scientists, Secret Society representatives, and magical specialists looked back through their own telecommunications gear.

    “As far as we’ve been able to determine,” Captain Anderyasn began, “the teraport worked without any issues.”

    “Up until it didn’t,” Director Patience Warner cut in. “Something about the process caused the supercomputer to self destruct.”

    “We don’t know that is what happened,” Cuypers protested.

    “That is what my readings indicate,” Washu Hakubi stated. “There was broad spectrum radiation and more exotic particles than you’d care to hear about.”

    Ross turned toward Hackerman’s screen. “Hackerman, did you record anything unusual while you were monitoring the situation?”

    “I ran through the data, looking for anything strange,” the hacker replied. “There was a short burst of information right as the teraport was beginning. As far as I’ve been able to decipher it, it looks like the mass the supercomputer indicated could be used for fuel was connected to some kind of failsafe. The computer realized the error at the last moment, but it was too late to halt the process.”

    “And so the whole thing blew up, taking your shuttle with it,” Washu elaborated. “I’m sorry for your loss, Captain Anderyasn.”

    “Thank you, Washu,” Anderyasn said. “While all of my men had recent Laz5 backups made, this is still a hard blow for us.” He coughed before adding, “Frankly, I’m more concerned about the magical girl Mina and Taylor Hebert. To the best of my knowledge, they didn’t have any backups available.”

    “That is, unfortunately, true,” Ross agreed. “However, we may have alternative methods to revive them.” He turned to another participant. “Hades, any news?”

    The Greek shook his head. “Sadly, I have not heard anything yet. I’ve checked with my counterparts, and none of the others have heard anything either. As far as I can tell, their souls are simply… gone. The same holds true for the mercenaries.”

    This caused some nervous shifting among the others. While by no means indestructible, the soul was generally considered the closest to the next best thing in existence. For the event to destroy multiple souls, without that seeming to even be the intent, was worrying. This was definitely something that would require further investigation.

    “Damn,” Ross muttered. “In that case, our methods of resurrection won’t be effective, either.”

    “That is disturbing,” Andreyasn commented. “Hopefully, that won’t have any impact on the Laz5 procedures. I’ll need to monitor them much more closely.”

    “It shouldn’t cause any issues,” Hades replied. “Depending on the circumstances, your procedures either essentially reincarnate the original soul into a new body or creates a new soul entirely.” Andreyasn nodded his thanks for the clarification and turned back to the meeting.

    “Is there anything that can be done on your end?” Ross asked the magical girl representative.

    The girl shook her head. “Unfortunately, while we can usually reverse causality to prevent an event from having taken place, the length of time we waited before convening this meeting and the scale of the event make that an impossibility in this case. There simply isn’t a way to reverse it.”

    Ross sighed in frustration. “Perfect. So, talk to me people, what are our options?”

    The silhouetted form of the Secret Society representative held up a hand. “The only thing that comes to mind is to take a Taylor Hebert from one of the adjacent realities and either utilize or clone her for our purposes.”

    “We could do that,” Ross acknowledged. “However, she would not be the same Taylor Hebert as the one we contracted with, and we would likely have the same issue with her connection to a supercomputer. It would also still leave the issue of our failed responsibility to the Taylor Hebert we did recruit.”

    “Hm, I see your point,” the silhouette admitted. “Very well, I’ll authorize you to take care of this as you see fit. That said, I have a lot of work to get done, so I will bow out for now.” With that said, he terminated the call.

    Ross sighed heavily. “Unless anyone has any ideas on how to properly salvage this situation, I think we’re done here. Have a good evening, everyone, and let me know if you come up with anything that might help.”




    Danny Hebert listlessly made his way to the door. Someone had been pounding on it for the last several minutes, so they must have thought whatever it was was important. He wasn’t sure he’d agree. Nothing seemed terribly important anymore, not since his daughter had disappeared from her hospital room more than a week ago without a trace. Opening the door, he found a red headed young woman carrying a briefcase. “Yes?” he asked.

    “Mr. Hebert,” the girl began. “My name is Cindy Matos. May I come in? I have information about your daughter.”

    It took a moment for what the woman had said to sink in. Startling to a slightly more aware state, he said, “Yes, please, come in.” He led the woman to the kitchen, past a living room that was covered in empty beer cans and dirty plates. The television was on, set to one of the local news stations in the hopes that somebody would report something about Taylor. Once they were in the kitchen, Danny gestured toward one of the empty chairs around the table. Miss Matos sat, and didn’t say anything while Danny cleared several dirty dishes off of the table. Finally, Danny slumped into one of the other chairs. After a moment of silence, Danny asked, “You said you had information about Taylor?”

    Miss Matos sighed said, “Yes, I do. I’m here to inform you that your daughter passed away a few days ago in an accident.”

    “What?” Danny asked blankly, not believing what he heard.

    Miss Matos drew herself up before continuing. “Taylor was selected to participate in a reality show run by the company I work for. Had everything worked as intended, you would only know she had left if she had decided to tell you about it. Unfortunately, there was an accident, and she died. We looked into every avenue available to us, and nothing could be done. I’m sorry for your loss.”

    Danny sat there, silently absorbing what he’d been told, for a few moments. Then he asked the first thing that came to mind, even though it wasn’t what he really wanted to know. “Why was she going to be on a show without me knowing?”

    Miss Matos grimace. “Unfortunately, one of my less… honorable coworkers tricked her into signing a contract that forced her to participate. It was my task to help her make the best of the situation.” She placed the briefcase on the table before continuing. “Among other things, Taylor was going to be paid handsomely for her work. While she was unable to complete her part of the contract, my superior decided that, due to the failure of our healthcare services, you should receive her payment in her stead.”

    “I know it isn’t enough, and nothing will replace your daughter, but hopefully, this will help.” Miss Matos pushed over the briefcase, embossed with a scripted SL logo. Opening it to reveal stacks of cash, she continued, “That briefcase contains four million dollars. We are also starting a charity, in her name, to help with the restoration of the Brockton Bay docks area.” Standing, she reiterated, “Again, I am sorry for your loss. If there is anything I can do for you in the future, my card is in the briefcase. I’ll see myself out, alright?”

    Danny could only nod dumbly as he stared at the briefcase. Four million dollars would go a long way, but at the moment, he would have preferred being four million dollars in debt, if it would get him his daughter back. He barely noticed when the redhead left the room.

    The end.
     
  7. RageKnight

    RageKnight My heresy senses are tingling

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    ....Wait what fuck just happened!?
     
  8. Gantor

    Gantor Making the rounds.

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    Well, considering that this is under Extras instead of Threadmarks, I think it’s not part of the story. That or something weird is happening.
     
  9. Grosstoad

    Grosstoad Whimsical Paranoid Creeper

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    . . . Wut?

    +checks date+

    Not April 1st.

    EDIT: Oh. Extra? Thanks, Gantor.
     
  10. OSRfanatic1

    OSRfanatic1 ...Meh

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    I didn't even notice the new chapter was in the Extra thread until I read the comments. Though I do still wonder what happened to Taylor.
     
    TheWave and Jonn Wolfe like this.
  11. RageKnight

    RageKnight My heresy senses are tingling

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    OH YOU SNEAKY MOTHER FUCKER! WELL FUCKING PLAYED!
    [​IMG]
     
  12. GodOfPixies

    GodOfPixies Getting sticky.

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    Well the idea of a failsafe in case a shard manages to destroy their link to the larger entity is actually pretty realistic, so this is a very plausible bad end.
     
    january1may, TheWave, torac and 3 others like this.
  13. Jonn Wolfe

    Jonn Wolfe (Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

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    [​IMG]

    You... I... Whut?
    *checks comments*

    OH!
    [​IMG]

    You Sneaky...
     
  14. MissileTeatime

    MissileTeatime By the power of Vaporware!

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    Oh hell.

    Although apparently, not literally hell?

    These two paragraphs by themselves made this entire fic at least 250% more gonzo. So I'm looking forward to that.

    Wait, what?

    Oh, heck. I was all revved up to treat this chapter as if it was canon, too! Yarg!

    (Seriously, this would be a method I've not seen before to take Danny out of the picture but without killing him.)
     
  15. Czlyydwr Llrngwl

    Czlyydwr Llrngwl "Sell ya a door Learn gull" Czly/Celly for short.

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    Aw man, and here I was, getting hype about a Skitter/Doomslayer team-up. Fuck you very much, that would have been pants-shittingly epic.

    ;)
     
  16. SystemSearcher

    SystemSearcher "I fought the door and the door won"

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    And here I was, expecting Hell to Pay behind that link.
    click click boom boom
     
  17. DarkthShadow

    DarkthShadow Getting sticky.

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    Wow, I thought something janky just happened, but this is just AU, *whew*
     
  18. D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia

    D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia ⌈META⌋

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    [Sarcasm]
    Welp, Protagonist is dead, Congratulations on having this enter the Exclusive Completionist Club of Worm Fanfics. Also Congratulations on making the most cheapest attempt at ending a Story.
    [/Sarcasm]

    It's in the "Extra" Tab. This is obviously a Joke Story Post.
     
    january1may likes this.
  19. Czlyydwr Llrngwl

    Czlyydwr Llrngwl "Sell ya a door Learn gull" Czly/Celly for short.

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    It's an omake, D'znn-Xy'lll. No need to get flustered.
     
  20. D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia

    D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia ⌈META⌋

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    Check the Invisitext:
     
    january1may likes this.
  21. LordAnubis

    LordAnubis Getting out there.

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    Dirty Pool, Sir, Dirty Pool.

    As soon as he said, “What’s the worst that can happen?” You should have people reaching over to smack him. In a realm that has Magic and High Tech, there really should be a belief that just saying that will invoke Murphy... Hard!
     
    Silvercrystal likes this.
  22. Czlyydwr Llrngwl

    Czlyydwr Llrngwl "Sell ya a door Learn gull" Czly/Celly for short.

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    Invisible text does not exist.
     
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  23. Jonn Wolfe

    Jonn Wolfe (Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

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    Well of course it doesn't exist. It would be a silly thing if it did. Why, nobody could read it, for one thing. That's like saying the Queen doesn't fart in public. Of course she doesn't! That's what she has a Prime Minister for!
     
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  24. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Here we go with a round of replies…

    Taylor died, Danny got a lot of money, and the story is over.

    I’m posting chapters every other week. Interludes, omake, and other such things, canon or not, don’t count as chapters in my mind.

    There has been some speculation in other places that she may have been shunted into another crossover universe, but that is not what happened, no matter how amusing that could have been.

    The portion of QA’s mass that was used to fuel the teraport was attached to a failsafe (more a fail-dangerous, really) that detonated the entire shard is some sort of trans-nuclear reaction. Something about the interaction between this explosion and the active teraport created an explosive capable of destroying souls within its area of effect. This is, understandably, a Bad Thing.

    That’s why I used it, though the soul-destruction part was mostly there to ensure there wasn’t a chance to recover Taylor.

    I’m not sure what you mean by this making the fic more gonzo (I assume you mean crazy). We were already dealing with a large multiversal-collective, so I’m not sure how adding a few gods to the active scene changes things.

    That said, yes, all of the people involved in this chapter exist and interact semi-regularly when they need to do so.

    In my opinion, this method would be more interesting as a way to try to make Danny the main character of the story as he tries to figure out more about what happened while using the money to the betterment of as many people as possible… or buying a Vial or something.

    I haven’t actually played any form of Doom, so I needed to look up who Doomslayer even is. That said, I’m not sure I could do it justice.

    On a different note, that video was hilarious. Thanks for sharing it.

    While more thematically appropriate, I liked the other video more. Sorry.

    Yes, the story is over, and I don’t need to deal with this nonsense anymore! Now I can move on to my next Slut Life project, where Kasumi Tendo is a recruiter in Nerima when Ranma arrives.

    But they’re all scientists! Superstitions have no place in their mindsets. It just gets in the way of playing Doom on an alien supercomputer.

    I don't actually have a way of checking for invisible text on my phone (that I know of), so I understand your point.
    There's a reason I only use it for trolling purposes outside of story posts.
     
  25. D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia

    D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia ⌈META⌋

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    Then what do you call this? It's Invisible Text ergo Invisitext. I was merely not giving away the Joke by using Invisitext instead.

    press finger to Screen like your Tapping something but hold the finger to the Screen, it Highlights Text and brings up a Scroll thingy for Highlighting more Text. this is also how you get the Copy/Paste Functions and the Shortcut to use Quote/Reply without going all the way to the actual Buttons.
     
  26. Czlyydwr Llrngwl

    Czlyydwr Llrngwl "Sell ya a door Learn gull" Czly/Celly for short.

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    This means that replies to me using invisitext are really, really pointless.
    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2018
  27. edale

    edale Versed in the lewd.

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    Don't you know? Murphy is one of the SL executives.

    He likes personally overseeing the contestants that try to do virgin runs.
     
  28. MissileTeatime

    MissileTeatime By the power of Vaporware!

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    They had never been mentioned before, which means they didn't exist. Now they do exist, which makes the setting far weirder than it was before.

    True, but for most stories I can think of fronting Danny, I probably would have started with this chapter. For a variety of reasons, but one of them is that starting with Taylor would result in having to deal with people who came in expecting a story about Taylor, which would be the opposite of something I would want to deal with.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2018
  29. january1may

    january1may Versed in the lewd.

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    Yeah, that's basically why I really disliked Stranger Than Brockton - it started out as a story about Taylor, and by the time it sidelined Taylor into a succession of assorted bad fates and I realized it was actually a story about Armsmaster, it was far too late for me to continue enjoying it.

    If I knew at the start that it was a story about Armsmaster, and that Taylor was only there to set up the plot, I would have probably enjoyed it much longer.
     
    Slith10 and necrolectric like this.
  30. Jonakhensu

    Jonakhensu I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Fair point. That said, if anyone wants to write a story based on this omake, feel free. It'll be interesting to see if Danny just self destructs further or if actually having the funds needed to possibly restart the ferry might help him get back on his feet... or if he'll start trying to adopt strays to fill the hole in his life or something.
     
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