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Convolution (Worm x Starcraft)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by evildice, Jan 12, 2015.

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  1. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    Navrin - That's not entirely wrong, but it's also not entirely right. The only reference material cited by your web page supports my usage:
    Jealousy: (countable) A resentment towards someone for a perceived advantage or superiority they hold. (from Wiktionary.org)​

    Basically you're citing a quick-and-dirty rule of thumb which is helpful to beginners, and it is helpful when it works, but right now you're not using it appropriately since the dictionaries do contain my usage as one of the meanings.
     
  2. snthsnth

    snthsnth Versed in the lewd.

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    This is possibly the most depressing individual line I've heard in this fic, in a lot of stuff I've read actually. He's basically telling her that she wasn't wanted, and they planned on not even letting her be born.

    She's literally alive because of the Endbringers. In a world without Endbringers where Danny and Annette were together, Taylor wouldn't be around. A massive number of people died to change their minds.

    This... I can't even describe my distaste, my disgust for the actual meaning of this comment. Taylor doesn't even bat an eyelash. She doesn't even react to it.
     
    TheVoid22222 and Starfox5 like this.
  3. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    Taylor was wanted, and they did love her -- she just had unexpected timing. This is a thing which sometimes happens to people on my planet.

    But also, on my planet people are not entirely aware of their own motivations, and -- shock of shocks -- sometimes people do things for more than just one reason. This was a reason that stuck in Danny's mind, but if there were no Endbringers, Annette and Danny might have found a completely different reason to keep Taylor, and that reason would have stuck in his head instead.

    However, you'll note that in canon, Annette did not have children as early as she did on Earth Bet. So that's also possible.

    Taylor doesn't bat an eyelash because she never felt unwanted. If she'd grown up with Amy Dallon's experience, then this would totally be a thing that she latched onto -- they never wanted me -- but in Taylor's case, it's just trivia.
     
  4. snthsnth

    snthsnth Versed in the lewd.

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    She was wanted after the fact, but the subtext is that she was not wanted at the time. I think if she'd jokingly called him out on it, and he defended himself it would have removed the sting. As written she doesn't even react to it.

    I don't doubt that the Heberts would have kept Taylor, just that this reason is depressing and should have had a bigger response than nothing. Given that the greater context of the scene is a WAFFy one, it could even have been light hearted.

    Something like:
    "You only kept me because of Behemoth?"

    "We always planned on having you, Taylor, just a few years later. When we saw all that death and darkness, we wanted to bring something good into the world. Annette was already pregnant with you, after Jakarta we couldn't let you go."
     
    evildice likes this.
  5. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    Danny explicitly does NOT say that the ONLY reason they kept her was Behemoth. It's right in the line you quoted:
    I guess Taylor could mis-hear and get upset about something he didn't say, but what would that accomplish, beyond fake soap-opera melodrama?


    Regarding Taylor's reaction, she's rendered speechless. She doesn't know what to do or say, so after she recovers a bit, she escalates social discomfort and successfully embarrasses Danny using the topic of her "children".

    The topic is not resolved. it's not supposed to feel resolved.

    Also, Danny kinda sucks at talking to Taylor.
     
    snthsnth and Starfox5 like this.
  6. SwiftRosenthal

    SwiftRosenthal Connoisseur.

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    He did a better job than Firebird!Danny.
    /faint praise
     
  7. snthsnth

    snthsnth Versed in the lewd.

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    The other half is the issue.
    It implies that they weren't keen on the idea of having her. Something like, 'it's part of why we chose to have you when we did.' does not carry a negative implication, while having the same overall meaning.

    Her reaction does not follow the implications of the statement. Speechless works, but it's a positive speechless. 'Wow.' vs 'What!'

    It doesn't have to be resolved in totality, but it feels like it smashed it's head through the wall, said 'hi', vanished, and everyone pretends it didn't happen. It carries too much impact to be left as it is.
     
    evildice likes this.
  8. esotericist

    esotericist Getting sticky.

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    ... I really think you're reading too much into this. All that line says was the possibility of not carrying to term was on the table, not that they were actively heading towards not and changed their mind because of a small number of high importance items.

    I myself was an unexpected pregnancy, and there was a span of time where my parents considered aborting. I've had conversations very much like this, and I didn't overreact in the way you're insisting taylor should.
     
  9. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    This is pretty much perfectly correct, yeah.

    Also, it's important to remember that Annette was an ex-radical feminist. Abortion holds no horror for her (even though she chose to not have one). Taylor would have been raised to know that abortion is an option for women, and she wouldn't associate it with negative moral values.

    And again, the words could have different meaning if Taylor were raised differently -- like, if she already had reason to feel unwanted, the words might be a big deal like snthsnth thinks. But they're not a big deal, because Taylor never felt unwanted.
     
  10. pepperjack

    pepperjack A Variety of Cheese

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    This is what makes it Taylor for me. When in doubt, escalate!
     
  11. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    Yeah, and avoid.

    Instead of dealing with this issue -- however much of a big deal it might or might not be -- Taylor changes the subject.

    This is supposed to be Taylor "Warlord to avoid school issues" Hebert.
     
    pepperjack and Sheaman3773 like this.
  12. snthsnth

    snthsnth Versed in the lewd.

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    I guess I am reading more into it than was intended. For some reason the line just stood out to me.
     
    evildice likes this.
  13. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    You're probably used to seeing it used in literature as a major plot point.

    Here, it's a minor not-even-plot point.

    It might come up later.

    Like, I'd imagine Taylor would bring this bit of her history up if she found herself talking to Madison about the poor girl's unexpected pregnancy, and whether she should have an abortion, when Panacea decided to make everyone pregnant as a joke on April 1st.

    (This is not actually a plot spoiler.)
     
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