[X] With Karate I'll Kick Your Ass
"I cannot believe I didn't think of this sooner!" You sling an arm over each of your friends' shoulders and grin at them in turn. "Now we can have some variety in opponents, and you guys don't have to waste chakra just keeping up with me."
Sasuke scowls. "Why are you making friends with so many girls all of a sudden?"
"Am I not allowed to like girls?" you ask rhetorically.
Hinata winces. "If I'm a bother-"
"Sakkun's just worried you'll kick his ass without a massive speed advantage," you say with a smirk.
"I am not!" Sasuke jerks out from under your arm. "If Hinata could kick my ass, she'd have done it in class already."
You roll your eyes. "Sakkun, remember that talk we had about how some people actually don't really like fighting? Including me?"
"That's different! You're good at it!"
All right, that's it.
"Hinata, is it okay if I teach Sasuke one of your moves?"
Her expression goes from melancholy to alarmed in two seconds flat. "One move," you promise. "No more, no less. The Elders can't ban non-Hyuuga from teaching Jyuuken moves to Uchiha, anyway, and Sakkun isn't going to tell anyone for obvious reasons."
She doesn't look happy about it, but after dithering for a minute or two, she nods.
Sasuke grumbles and makes much of you forcing him to learn a 'girly' move.
Until you throw a punch at him without warning and that girly move saves him from a black eye.
Oof. You blink up at the sky. Maybe you should have picked a different manoeuvre to show him; in the hands of someone who doesn't hesitate or pull punches that one hurts like hell.
Both of your friends crouch over you in concern, asking if you're okay. Sasuke looks particularly distressed; damn, how bad do you look at the moment?
You wave them off. "I'm fine," you wheeze. "But... you get my point, now, right?" You look at Sasuke, and jerk your head in Hinata's direction. "She's not unskilled. She just-" you cough profusely before you can go on, "-doesn't like to hurt people."
"... well, it's a good thing you brought her to me, then," Sasuke says, with a haughtiness that is only half in jest. "Uchiha aren't built delicately like the Yamanaka; we're not so easy to hurt."
"Fuck. you," you gasp out, taking Hinata's offer of an arm up and pulling yourself to your feet. You stagger over to a log, take a seat, and hold out your tessen like a referee. On the count of three, when it flicks open, the two children collide.
Hinata doesn't quite win the fight, but Sasuke's going to be walking with a limp for the rest of the day. You wonder where the hell the viciousness that fuelled that strike came from.
You grin to yourself. You have the best ideas.
[X] Yamanaka's 7 6 5
"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Ami says, "and I live above a bar."
"It'll work, I'm telling you!" You wave the folder at her. "It's all here! I did research and everything."
"Ino, this is..." Chouji bites his lip. "This is really too far. It was one thing when we were taking mon-candy, we weren't hurting anyone-"
"And who's hurt by this?" you ask.
"If we get caught, us, if we don't, the shopkeeper, the owner of the store, the shopkeeper's kids, the owner's kids, other people who wanted to buy exploding tags today..." Shikamaru lists dryly.
"Yeah, but that's, like, financial hurt," you say dismissively, "it doesn't count."
Ami snorts, but doesn't say anything.
"And if it hurts when you take a box of exploding tags, it should logically also hurt when you take some candy," you tell Chouji, "so really, if we're going to be hurting people, we might as well get better stuff out of it."
Sasuke nods as if this makes sense to him, and just like that, you know you can count on Ami regardless of what she thinks of the plan. It's twisted, but damned if it isn't handy.
Chouji looks even less happy than he did before.
"Hey, man, it's cool," you say. "I've got you listed as the diversion on this one; all you have to do is make sure people are paying attention to you, not us. You can't get in trouble for that."
"Actually, that makes him an accessory," Ami and Sasuke say as one. Both of them turn to stare at one another incredulously.
You sigh. "Ami, that ring you're wearing is an accessory; as far as anyone will be able to tell, Chouji is just gonna be some kid, in a store, acting like a kid."
"... no," he says finally, shaking his head. "No, I'm not." He turns and walks off.
"... Chouji?" you call uncertainly.
With a grimace, Shikamaru gets to his feet and follows him.
"Shika-chan?" That's not fear in your voice, it's just concern. Shut up.
"I'll talk to him," is all Shika has to say. He throws a half-wave over his shoulder and is gone.
You swallow, hard.
Very gently, Hinata pulls the dossier out of your hands, and starts reading.
"Most of these storerooms have biolocked seals on them, according to what you have noted here. Have you perhaps collected stray hairs from around the shop?" she asks politely.
You brighten up a bit. "Hey, don't worry about the seals; I have my ways."
=
All in all, you're going to call this one a success.
"Hello again, Yamanaka-chan."
"Why, Yura-nee, you look positively radiant this morning! Is cell number 5 open today?" :3
Sure, you got caught, but a) no one else did, b) Menka managed to pull off his part of the plan without alerting store personnel or your other partners that he's anything other than a normal cat, c) Hinata makes a surprisingly fantastic distraction, and d) Ami got away with the exploding tags, even if she did demand a 40% cut of them as a storage fee. That means you can't be charged with theft, just the usual disturbance of the peace. Well, okay, you're a kid, you can't be charged with anything, but theoretically, you're in less trouble than you could have been.
You're dismayed to discover that the last Sharingan-sweep of cell 5 found your cache of improvised escape implements. Ah, well. Next time.
To your surprise, Weasel is the one who bails you out. He even takes you out for onigiri afterwards.
"I would appreciate it if you didn't turn my little brother into a delinquent," he says as you scarf down your snack.
"What does Sakkun have to do with anything?" you ask in a note-perfect bewildered tone.
Weasel gives you a look that you would translate on anyone else as 'bitch, please', but says nothing.
[X] Face to Face
Rrrrrip!
"Sakkun!" you protest, "The whole point is to figure out a way that they won't rip when they're going on."
"Yeah, well..." he shrugs. "How are you supposed to do that if you don't try to rip them?" He grins. "Plus, it's a really cool sound."
-_- "Spoken like the boy who doesn't have to make the damn things."
"Why''re you so into this stuff?" he asks, gesturing at the little jars of odds and ends you have scattered around your desk. "I mean, we're gonna learn the henge later on anyway."
You snort, and go back to moulding the new mask you're working on. "The henge requires constant upkeep! And the Byakugan can see right through it, no matter how good it is."
Sasuke goes quiet at that. "... the Byakugan can see through the henge?" he asks after a moment.
You nod. "I read about it in a history book. Whereas the Sharingan is mostly for internalizing information it receives from the world, the Byakugan can be said to have the best insight of the Great Dojutsu; it can penetrate almost any disguise you care to name, whether by observing how it changes a person's normal chakra-flow or just by noticing the thousands of tiny tells that people give off when they're nervous or tense." You give the mask in your hands a final once-over, then reach for the tweezers and jar of hair. "One day, I want to be able to fool even a Hyuuga with my masks and acting. Test my talents against theirs, you know?"
"What about the Sharingan?" Sasuke says, insulted. You roll your eyes.
"Sakkun, c'mon. I test myself against the Sharingan every day, remember?"
"... oh. Right." He shakes his head. "Cousin Shisui says you have the longest rap sheet of any clan heir on record, you know."
"I do know." You frown to yourself, placing the individual hairs onto the head of the mask with the utmost care. "I wish I didn't. I wish I were good enough that I'd never get caught."
"... Father doesn't really like that I'm friends with you," Sasuke says quietly.
You stop working.
"... oh," is all you say.
"He said... well, he said some mean stuff. About you."
A slight, sad smile crosses your face. "I guess you lied to Mom when you said you got permission to walk over by yourself?"
"He just doesn't understand," Sasuke mumbles. "I told him you weren't like... what he said. And that just made him more mad." He looks vaguely dazed. "I yelled at him."
[X] Write-in?
----------
Seriously? No takers in the shout-out sweepstakes? I am disappoint.