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Enter the Dragon (Harry Potter/Shadowrun)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Dunkelzahn, Jul 10, 2018.

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  1. Emperor Lee

    Emperor Lee Join the Empire! We have Lewds.

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    Still though. Hermione is being really really stupid here, to the point I'm actually hoping something happens when she's on vacation. There's being ignorant, and there's willfully making a complete ass of yourself. She's doing the latter.
     
  2. Ayashi

    Ayashi Well worn.

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    she never had a friend "disappear" because someone wanted a pretty sex slave. She didn't grow up with older sisters/cousins/aunts/whatever telling her about their personal "experiences". And the school itself, from what we've seen both in canon and in this fic, hardly presents this issue to the students either (which partially explains the inflated number of muggle victims). She grew up in a world where the rule of law is (mostly) enforced and expected to apply to (mostly) everyone.
    I think we can hardly expect her to make correct informed decisions based upon incomplete data.
    Now IF Abigel actually does present her with such information, preferably with some kind of proof, AND she continues THEN we can point and laugh.

    There's also the simple alternative path that apparently no character clued in yet: go over Hermione's head and simply talk to her parents directly. Just saying...
     
  3. Koolaid

    Koolaid Getting out there.

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    Nice! It has been a while.
     
  4. The Unicorn

    The Unicorn Experienced.

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    Dunkelzahn
    Very nice chapter, I really liked Abigail's scenes, especially her decision to actually talk to Harry about her intentions.
    Nice bit about the Silver Torque and looking forward to seeing how Abigail's discussion with Hermione goes.

    One thing I'm wondering about is how did Su manage to conflate that situation with "death ground". Sun Tzu's "death ground" isn't a situation where "There was nothing to be gained by backing down.", it was one where it was literally impossible to back away. (Given the description of harry as the battlefield I'd think it would count as Contentious ground, where Sun Zsu recommends "On contentious ground, attack not.").

    I really wonder what Su Li's reaction to hearing about Abigail and Harry's talk will be.

    Unfortunately the only character I can see thinking of that is Snape, and he's rather busy at the moment so might not even be aware of the problem. The wizarding world characters don't consider muggles as able to tell any witch or wizard what to do, so won't think of it, and Harry is Harry.
     
  5. Alcov

    Alcov Love me that Fan Fiction

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    I really like the way you have portrayed Snape In this. In the canon he was a massive dick but he was trying to help Harry ocassionaly. Then Harry goes around ignoring 7 years of torment and hatred from the guy doesn’t matter if it was faked or not, to the child it was torment, and names his kid after him.
    but you are going along the dour slowly getting along with Harry through sheer stubbornness on Harry’s part, while Snape is still a sour puss he is much more calm about it and willing to crack a joke.
     
    inverted_helix and Diver like this.
  6. Acolyte

    Acolyte Getting sticky.

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    No lie i love the story but couldn't care less for the harem shenanigans.
     
  7. The Unicorn

    The Unicorn Experienced.

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    No harem shenanigans yet, and given Abigail is actually talking directly to Harry I doubt there will be.

    Or did you mean just the fact that a Rich, smart, friendly, outgoing boy has multiple girls attracted to him? Because not having that would be unbelievable.
     
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  8. TheGrog

    TheGrog In the number mines

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    I forget. Does Abigail know that he's a dragon? Or does she know that he's not normal, but unclear on exactly what?
     
  9. Diver

    Diver Versed in the lewd.

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    God I love Abigail. She and Snape are true Slytherins in this fic. Smart, subtle, long term planners who are able to adapt when forced to. She took everything she knew about Harry and had an open and frank conversation with him! It was magical. Abigail is much better than Su because although she became his friend with the eventual goal to woo him, or at least secure patronage in some non-demeaning way, she isn’t planning to sell their children into slavery for her eugenics cult based “family”. Seriously, fuck Su Li and her entire clan/family/ancestry... and not the fun way. I would love to see Harry go full Fire and Brimstone Dragon on those fuckers when he learns what Su’s game is. He’s big on loyalty and friendship and this “plan” the biggest betrayal I can think of. Also, the danger—wait, not danger... inconvenience that’s it—the inconvenience of Su the Snitch learning about Harry being a dragon and passing that on for her handlers to attempt to use against him would be an unwelcome distraction from several other fascinating plot threads.

    edit: and yes, Abigail knows about the Dragon form. She used to mix and feed him that slurry while he recovered from the philosopher’s stone incident. I believe she had hazy memories of the troll incident and sought confirmation later.
     
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  10. DIT_grue

    DIT_grue lurker

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    Thanks for the chapter!

    Does that answer your question?
     
  11. TheGrog

    TheGrog In the number mines

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    Yes. I guess I missed that.
     
  12. Dunkelzahn

    Dunkelzahn No one of consequence

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    Su Li's reasoning on the death ground bit was essentially that she had been caught out by Abigail's unexpected arrival and could not retreat --- that is, she could see no way to convincingly spin what Abigail had seen into something innocuous enough to avoid conflict --- therefore her only option was to double down and go for broke with the possessive girlfriend act.

    It was also a major tactical and strategic blunder on her part, which she will realize after she has had a chance to calm down and think it over. When Abigail showed up unexpectedly, Su Li panicked and overreacted in a way which was quite detrimental to her cause.

    TheGrog: I know your question was already answered, but if you wanted to go back and reread it, the reveal was in 2.13.3.

    It's good to see that both Abigail and Su Li are coming across as intended. Successful characterization!
     
    Grimrr, BengelHa, DIT_grue and 3 others like this.
  13. easlyamused

    easlyamused Getting sticky.

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    I don't see why Harry can't make Mr. Dr Granger his vassal. The doctor has provided Harry an essential service and is the only expert on dragon dentistry around. That troll bone was stuck in there. This would mean that he can protect Hermione as the daughter of his vassal.

    When Harry finds out Su Li's background, I think he's more likely to take her back to his Lair as a damsel and give her a golden torc.
     
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  14. Mashadarof402

    Mashadarof402 Experienced.

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    Vassalage can be done. They're viewed as servant contracts. And since Granger is a muggle, who would believe the family has anything to offer but their daughter? A daughter who is already viewed as someone under Potters protection?

    It's not like he can just go around saying Dr Granger did him a solid because he's a dragon and magic wouldn't work for fixing his kind of dental problems.
     
  15. easlyamused

    easlyamused Getting sticky.

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    And when Harry's status as a dragon is reveled to the Wizarding World (or the whole world) Dr Granger will be know as the bravest man in the world.
     
  16. hyperspacewizard

    hyperspacewizard Versed in the lewd.

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    I love the story but every time I read su li or the chinese wizards I can’t wait for future chapters where Harry gets pissed at them and they shit themselves because dragon
     
    easlyamused likes this.
  17. zup

    zup Experienced.

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    But wizards will simply shrug it off as a quaint muggle thing because Dr Granger is not a wizard.
     
  18. Kitty S. Lillian

    Kitty S. Lillian Transhuman

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    Hmm, the first bit of each is a 0. But is it properly zero-based?
    no. Why not? Why does each chapter start with 0, but arcs do not start with a 0 chapter, nor did it start with a 0 arc?

    The latest chapter seems to be a bit …unraveling, and of nearly no new information. We have Abigail finishing NEWTs (as expected) and running into Su Li in hot purSUit.

    The rest is characters talking about all of that and filling each other in.

    Oh, and Snape's practical concerns about the Passenger Plane vs Dragon issue that came up earlier.

    Mostly fun to read, but it doesn't seem like the story advanced much…
     
  19. Shance

    Shance Know what you're doing yet?

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    I know it is a pretty shit thing to do, but why not tell her parents?
     
  20. Dunkelzahn

    Dunkelzahn No one of consequence

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    Short Answer: Because Microsoft.

    Back when I had the whole thing as a single file, I had tried adding a table of contents (one of the auto-generated ones), but Word insisted on calling that chapter 1, so I changed the numbering to start with 0 on the chapters, but that changed every tier of the numbering to start with zero, and I couldn't figure out how to get it to change selectively before I got frustrated with the whole business and decided it wasn't that important anyway. By the time it got to be too big for some functions of Word to handle the size of the file (specifically, it was starting to slow down and stopped marking spelling errors) and I split it out into individual chapter files, the numbering was already in place, and I didn't feel like going back and changing everything I'd already posted.

    The original 4.9 had a more natural division, ending after the coming confrontation between Su Li and Abigail and Harry's talk with Hermione, but it ended up nearly 20k words long. I decided to split it in half and post the first part rather than delay further.

    Verbal character interaction like this always seems to massively inflate word count for me. Action scenes tend to be much more compact.

    That is a very good idea, and I'm certain that some day in the future, when she's off working on that shiny new job of hers and it's much too late to be relevant, Abigail will think of it and kick herself for not suggesting it back when she was first talking to Harry.
     
  21. The Unicorn

    The Unicorn Experienced.

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    Ah, I see.
     
  22. Stephen Powell

    Stephen Powell Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    I will also note that at the age that Abigal is, "Tell her parents" is rarely the first option. It is, in fact, usually the nuclear option. Beyond that, Harry really hasn't had any sort of official parental care worth mentioning since his second Halloween, and is more than used to doing what he wants when he wants it.

    While "Tell her parents is the sensible option, it's not the one characters will likely shoot for, unless Harry gets an adult involved.
     
  23. Kitty S. Lillian

    Kitty S. Lillian Transhuman

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    Ah. My condolences and sympathy. I know your pain, having wrestled with Office auto-numbering before.
     
  24. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    So I am kind of wondering why the consideration that Abigail is asking for doesn't have some sort of marker on its own. This sort of pre-engagement engagement exists in some cultures, and it seems like this would likely be one of them. If she had such a marker it might provide some cover against the assumption of activity with Hermione. Then it could be played off as they're both in consideration for marriage and so each less likely to be having sex right now, but Harry would still be expected to defend Hermione.
     
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  25. Mashadarof402

    Mashadarof402 Experienced.

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    Abigail is just asking to be kept in mind. It's nothing as formal as a pre-engagement arrangement which is where the silver torc comes in as a declaration of intent.

    Though if she asked...
     
  26. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    The silver torc is more like an engagement rather than pre-engagement by my understanding. My point was if a pre-engagement symbol exists, then Harry could give those to both Abigail and Hermione and that would alleviate the situation because it would be unlikely he was doing anything with either of them yet, but would still be obliged to defend them both.
     
  27. Mashadarof402

    Mashadarof402 Experienced.

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    The way I see it, the custom of a pre-pre-engagement ITTL doesn't exist because there's no real distinction between the two. Given the existing practices, they're probably all lumped into the same category as regular engagements and arranged marriages a decade before the people in question are of marriageable age.

    In either case, Abigail wasn't pushing for anything like that either, just to be kept in mind once Harry was old enough to start thinking about that.
     
  28. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    I know that's not what Abigail wanted, however it would have been a useful solution to the situation for Harry. It would ensure that Hermione was protected without tarnishing her reputation.

    Abigail wouldn't have turned it down either as it would be firming up her Option contract.
     
  29. Mashadarof402

    Mashadarof402 Experienced.

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    I dunno. Giving a pre-pre-engagement gift to Hermione alone might work, but the both of them?

    That would probably send all sorts of mixed messages, and not good ones either.

    The story's on QQ, but I don't think Wizarding Britain has laws or customs for that type of relationship.
     
  30. inverted_helix

    inverted_helix Connoisseur.

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    Pre-engagement isn't the sort of commitment a full engagement is. The idea would be that you're considering which of these two you're going to marry. So you likely aren't sleeping with either, but you're still going to protect both of them.
     
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