Happy Horrogan's Terror Imporium and Family Funtime Motel. [Original Open Writing Project]

[TripleMRed]

Yelp Review for : Happy Horrorgan's Terror Imperium and Family Funtime Motel.


I know we've all heard the stories of 'Happy Horrorgan's', however I had little choice but to stay in one of their motels after I suffered an engine failure on my way by one. To start off, I am displeased to confirm that the rumors are true and that Happy Horrorgan's is home to a Menagerie of Ghosts, Goblins, Ghouls, and worst of all, Telemarketers. The first night while I waited for my car to be fixed they gave me a complementary scare when I opened the door to the closet, only to find a portal to the netherworld beckoning me to enter. Knowing this would doom the remainder of my stay to the Torment Nexus, I wisely decided to ignore the disembodied voices of my loved ones calling me into it and closed the closet door, deciding to just keep my clothes in my luggage. The attempt at a bath was ruined when the faucet began to spill out fresh blood, and I had to endure the boiling shower to get clean for the night.

My second day of the stay was little better: I was nearly strangled to death by a rogue noose, almost fell victim to a nearby pack of Werewolves, and was forced to sit through a three hour Telemarkethon on pain of losing my eternal soul to the marketing demons. I tried to eat from the complementary bed and breakfast made available, but had to subsist on a diet of stale bagels and potentially expired creamed of cheese [note, not cream cheese, the product was labeled 'Creamed of Cheese'. What does that even mean?] as I could not bare the thought of having to eat the remains of my family, who were still on the other side of the country so I didn't want to risk finding out what their doubles were made of or who they were made from.

The third day of my stay was the best, as I got a complementary stay at the spa where the local message chair revealed itself to be a mad scientists former experiment, whereupon it removed my spine and replaced it and three quarters of my skeletal system with a reinforced carbide polymer that was a quarter of the weight and three times as strong as normal bones. So, you know, got to take what wins you can get.

Finally, on the day my car was fixed, the motel's staff tearfully gave me a goodbye party by imploding the motel, disappearing it and all souls within to the next sphere of existence. I would leave a lower rating, but they left a single mint chocolate in my car as a goodbye gift, so that bumped it up a few points.

Final rating: 3/5, it was [not] okay.


----

(Howdy, all! My name is TripleMRed, and to kick off the upcoming Halloween this year with this little side project. Updates will be sporadic as it's mostly something on the side of everything else I'm focusing on, but hopefully it's fun.)

 

[TripleMRed]

It was supposed to be so simple: Book the tickets, go to the hotel, enjoy the mountains with your pals, getting as far away from the office as possible. So, so simple.

Unfortunately, Jerry had made one small, fatal mistake.

"Yes, I know how to book tickets through the website!" Jerry hissed into the phone as he and his friend Mordecai drove down the empty road.

"I told you to double-check." Mordecai said, voice an almost monotonous calm, his stoicism never seeming to waver.

For his part, Jerry just shot a look at his friend. Out of their office clothes, Mordecai's muscular meat slab of a frame barely fit into his car, his sun-baked dark skin covered in a black band T-Shirt in a language Jerry couldn't even begin to guess at and a clashing pair of khaki pants. His clean-shaven, chiseled, sun-glasses wearing face seemingly as immutable as his emotions, hair an unusually blonde color for those with his natural skin tone. Jerry was sure it was dyed, but if it was Mordecai was thorough to the point where even the roots were lightly colored.

Compared to the mountain that was his friend, Jerry was decidedly shorter and, while not fat, distinctly rounder than Mordecai, a more naturally built frame from his previous work at the carpentry shop that never went away even when he traded in for a calculator. His skin was a lighter, though tanned, complexion, and his red hair and mustache, as well as green eyes gave away his Irish ancestry. His own clothes were a pair of blue jeans, with a white shirt and 'classic' flannel shirt made the ex-carpenter look more like a lumberjack than anything else.

"I told you, I did!" Jerry said defensively before returning to the phone. "Yes, I'm still here…..Okay, so the system says I booked it at the right mountain! So why is it also saying I booked it at 'Happy Horrorgans'?" At hearing the name, Mordecai seemed to tense up, but otherwise said nothing. "No, that isn't it! Our's is 'Happy Harrigan'! I…..Alright….Alright, we can do that. Thanks." Jerry sighed as he turned off his phone.

"What'd they say?" Mordecai asked.

"They say they can refund us a night's stay at this place but can't switch, and that we can go to our real one tomorrow." Jerry groused, folding his arms over his chest as he looked out the window, alpine trees flashing by in a seemingly endless expanse of nature. "But they also said we couldn't switch the booking for today. So for tonight, we stay at this 'Happy Horrorgan's' or whatever it's called."

"Oh," Mordecai uttered. "Joy." Jerry shot him a look, brow raised. "Tell the others we'll see them tomorrow."

"On it." Jerry said as he started looking up on his phone the group chat they had all planned this trip on before pausing. "You know about this place?" He asked, curious.

"Had to stay in one for 3 nights while my car was being fixed," Mordecai said. "It was…." he paused as he tried to find the right words for it. "It'll be easier to see for yourself. Just follow my lead, don't go off on your own, and we'll make it out tomorrow just fine."

Jerry's look of curiosity morphed into a frown as he found himself shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"What, uh," he began, licking his lips. "What do you mean by that, man?"

"You'll see." Mordecai said, cryptic words just confusing Jerry even further.

----

"…..What the fuck?" Jerry uttered. No sooner had Mordecai's car stopped in front of their destination, they hadn't even finished stepping out of their vehicle when Jerry caught sight of what turned out to be more of a motel than a hotel.

More specifically, the hung man with a bag covering his head swinging in the wind just outside of the entrance to 'Happy Horrorgan's Terror Imperium and Family Funtime Motel.'

"Dude, I didn't know this was going to be a themed place." Jerry said as he cocked his head trying to get a good look at the hung body up above. "The props here look so real!"

"Right." Mordecai let out an uncharacteristic snort. "'Props'. Here," he handed Jerry his suitcase as he rolled own, marching towards the front office. "Hey man, how's it hangin'?" He asked the hung body, much to Jerry's amusement.

And then the body turned its head to look down at Mordecai as he passed by.

"Eh, pay could be better." A man's raspy, strained voice managed to choke out from the bagged head of the body.

"Preaching to the choir." Mordecai shot back as he casually kept moving forward without missing a beat. Jerry froze in place, just staring at what had happened with his smile plastered unto his face as he tried to process what just happened. The body's head turned to look at him now.

"Hey buddy, the strip club's 12 miles that way." He said, flopping an arm in the direction of one of the roads.

"Jerry, don't be rude, get moving." Mordecai called out to him. Face still frozen in a now forced smile, a cold sweat running down his face, Jerry sped walk past the body towards the entrance where his friend waited for him. Mordecai, unperturbed in the slightest, simply opened the door to the lobby and walked in.

Like the outside aside from the body and bright orange name-sign, the interior was mundane for what it was selling itself as, the floor a black and white checkerboard tile pattern while the walls were brown hues more at home in the 70's than a modern-day motel. In front of them was the main desk, where the only other living soul in the room was besides them. Key words: Living. Seated at a coffee table reading a tabloid newspaper was a skeleton. At first, Jerry thought it was another prop until it shifted in place in an all too human way and flipped a page. Mordecai caught Jerry staring and gently grabbed him on the shoulder before guiding him towards the desk.

Forcing himself to tear his eyes off the skeleton, Jerry's eyes fell upon the only other living person in the room, a beautiful, smiling, friendly looking woman with green eyes and black hair, dressed in form fitting bellhop attire. Jerry liked to consider himself a guy with some moral standards, so he made an effort not to drift his eyes over her aesthetically pleasing appearance.

Which was easy to do considering the much more distressing thing was that aside from her green eyes, the woman seemed to be monochrome and covered in a small aura of bopping, hissing TV film-grain. Now that he was closer to her, Jerry realized that her beauty was otherworldly. As in, he couldn't put it into words because the little details seemed to be constantly changing whenever he tried to focus on any one thing, so he decided to just settle his vision on the film-aura instead.

"Nice to see you again, Mister Mordecai." The woman said, her voice was coming out as though through an old radio, which just added to her ethereal nature.

"Hello, Ann." Mordecai said, completely unphased by any of the oddities they had seen. "I think you already know our deal."

"Of course! One night's stay, if I'm correct." Jerry's head turned to Mordecai so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

"How'd she know that, we just got here? Did the other guys call ahead about the rebooking?" For her part, the woman seemed amused by his outburst more than anything.

"Who's your friend?" She asked as she took out a pair of room keys for the two of them.

"He's new to this." Mordecai deflected as he nonchalantly took the keys. He paused as he looked 'Ann' in the eye. "Are there any Telemarketers here?" He asked, neutral tone taking on a heavy edge Jerry couldn't quite place.

"None at this establishment." She admitted. "We do, however, have a Lawyer staying near your room."

"Thanks for the warning." Mordecai said, frowning as he grabbed Jerry by the hand and led him out. "Say bye, Jerry."

"Bye, Jerry." Ann cheerfully piped up as she waved them out, to which Mordecai made no attempt to correct as he dragged his dumbstruck friend to their room.

----

Jerry sat stock still at the edge of his bed, his suitcase next to him, still closed. Mordecai, meanwhile, was already setting aside his sleep ware on his bed for when it was time to sleep, despite it only being 2 P.M.

A heavy silence weighed upon the both of them, only broken up by the sounds of Mordecai sifting through his things. Waiting to work up the courage to say something first, Jerry looked around the room to try and find something to get his mind off of everything. The tan carpet floor was clean, the beds freshly pressed and the walls a cheerful yellow and red stripe color-scheme with a framed picture of a kitten clashing horribly with what he had seen until now.

There was a still closed closet, a nightstand between the two beds, a small hallway that led to the bathroom, and moderately sized drawer with a TV sat atop it. The silence continued for a minute longer before Mordecai finally spoke up.

"So," he said. "How're you holding on?" Jerry turned his head to look at his friend, took in a breath, before finally finding the words he had been looking for.

"Mordy." Jerry began.

"Jerry."

"I have a few questions."

"Shoot."

"Namely, WHAT, and, THE FUCK!?" Mordecai shot his friend a look.

"Keep it down, man." He said to Jerry. "We don't want to disturb our neighbors."

"'Disturb our neighbors!?'" Jerry continued to yell, standing up incredulously. "Mordy, there was a hung guy outside-an actual Goddamn body-and he was talking! There was a living skeleton and woman who looked like a living TV glitch! And you're worried I'll disturb the neighbors!?" Mordecai took in a breath before calmly turning his attention to Jerry.

"Yes, Jerry, I am worried. Because we do not want to be rude, not here, not with these people."

"People-"

"Yes, Jerry," Mordecai interrupted his friend before he could get going. "People. Very strange, very odd people who are not a problem unless you give them a reason to be a problem."

"What do you even mean by that!?" Jerry asked, marching back and forth as his hands waved about while he spoke. "What, are there freaking monsters that are right next door that would eat out faces or something?"

"I was almost eaten by werewolves the last time I was in one of these places, so yes." Mordecai answered matter-o-factually. Jerry had to stop and gape slack jawed at his friend.

"What!?" Jerry shouted. Mordecai was frowning now as he raised his hands to motion for Jerry to lower his voice.

"Jerry, please-" he began before being cut off.

"Dude, you knew what was coming and you still let us stay here?!" Jerry asked in exasperation, fingers running through his ginger hair. "Why!?"

"Because I've been to one of these before, I know how to keep us safe." Mordecai proclaimed. "Besides, the most dangerous thing last time were the Telemarketers, and since we don't have any here we'll be much safer-"

"Do you hear yourself!? How the hell are telemarketers the most dangerous thing!?"

"They have infinite power in liminal places like this," Mordecai answered. "It was either listen to their marketing or forfeit my soul." Jerry was gawking at his friend now.

"I….I don't…" Jerry sputtered before he rubbed his face with his hands. "Okay, okay, fine, shit's weird around here and what is normal is now the peak of danger. Whatever. But dude, I don't know if you noticed, but not everyone is a Middle-Eastern meat-slab who can punch out werewolves!" Jerry motioned to himself. "Look at me, I'm like a foot and several hundred pounds of muscle smaller than you, what am I going to do when Frakenstein's monster shows up to snap me like a slim-jim!?"

"I keep telling you, but you're not listening." Mordecai said. "I know what to do, just follow my lead and we'll be fine."

"What about this is 'fine'!?" Jerry shouted. No sooner did Jerry exclaim that did a heavy knock begin to slam against their door. Jerry almost jumped out of his skin while Mordecai sighed as he marched towards the door.

"I tried to warn you, man." Mordecai said. "I'll handle this."

"What-No, Mordy wait!" Jerry tried to stop his friend but it was too late. He opened the door, and standing on the other side was a seemingly normal middle aged Caucasian man in a full business suit and a briefcase. At a glance, Jerry almost felt a sense of relief at the sight of another normal person.

And then he saw the man's face.

It was like a parody of a human smile, the skin stretched in such a way that the folds erased any discernible individual features and left something closer to a plastic Halloween mask than an actual face of flesh and bone.

"Why howdy, neighbors," he said in a cheerful southern twang. "Gosh, I heard a rowdy commotion over here." The man, if that was what was in front of them, barely moved his close lipped smile as he spoke, which only raised further questions. "Ya'll alright?"

"We're fine," Mordecai answered simply. "Just having an argument about sleeping arrangements." Jerry tore his wide eyes off of the well dressed maybe-person to look at his friend. Technically the truth, if a stretch. The man, eyes hidden by the skin folds of the impossible smile, turned his attention to Jerry.

"That true, young man?" He asked, voice never once changing in tone or volume. "Ya know, Ah'm somethin' of an attorney," he chuckled. "Iffin' ya need legal aid for anythin', Ah'm right here."

"No, no, I'm uh….I'm good." Jerry said, licking his suddenly dry lips. "We were just arguing like he said, nothing serious." The man kept staring for a second longer, Jerry swearing he saw a gleam from the narrowed eye lids before the man turned his attention back to Mordecai.

"Well alrighty then! Holler if'n ya need anything!" With that, the man turned around and walked out of sight back to his room as Mordecai slowly, calmly closed the door. As soon as it was shut, he took in a breath and let it out.

"How are you so calm." Jerry asked as he kept staring at the now closed door. Mordecai stood up straight, turned and walked over to Jerry before leaning forward so that their faces were at eye level with one another.

"The secret is, Jerry," Mordecai reached up and removed his sunglasses, revealing his amber eyes were as wide and as panicked as Jerry's own. "I'm always five seconds from freaking the fuck out, but my survival instinct is stronger." Jerry gulped before walking backwards, pressing his back against the wall and sliding down to his knees. Mordecai sat down beside him, resting his head against the wall.

"We can't just go sleep in the car somewhere else?" Jerry asked.

"We lost that chance after you accidentally booked a stay here and they refused to exchange today for our real hotel." Mordecai sighed. "They are very serious about not staying when you book a place with them."

"Oh." Was all Jerry could say.

"It's not your fault, man, but we're here now, so just follow my lead and we'll make it through the day no problem." Mordecai said. He turned his head to look at his friend. "We can sleep soundly at night, and first thing in the morning we leave and meet up with the others."

"Yeah." Jerry nodded. "Yeah, I can bare it for one day."

"Don't worry man, I'll get us out of here," Mordecai said as he offered his fist. "Like I keep telling you, follow my lead and we'll get out no problem." Jerry looked at him before nodding and bumping his friend's fist.

"One day. How bad can it be?" Jerry asked. Mordecai instinctively winced at his friend's temptation of fate when the intercoms came on and Ann's voice came over it. The pair turned their heads to listen closely.

"Attention all attendees, we are happy to announce that today is now Weekday! The space time continuum around the premises of the motel will now extend today's remaining 10 hours to a full week's time! Be sure to enjoy all our provided activities, complementary for all staying!"

Jerry looked at Mordecai. Mordecai looked at Jerry.

"GOD. DAMMIT!!!"

 

[Vadrigos]

I love good metapasta shit. By which I mean 'creepypasta but the protagonists are aware of the cliches'. This is some Tales from the Gas Station stuff and I am thoroughly enjoying it. More plz.

 

[TripleMRed]

4:59 AM, Apartment 5-F, one room, one bathroom. Tyler Wu was fast asleep, the black haired, 30 something man lying flat on his back on his bed, still as the dead. The instant the Company branded clock turned to 5:00, his green eyes snapped open and his hand, now a fist, came down on the alarm clock next to his bed like a hammer, crushing it before it could even finish its first blare. No sooner was it crushed to bits did it reform itself and return to blaring. He remained in bed for a moment longer before taking a single breath to steady himself.

Okay, time to get ready.

Everything passed by in a practiced blu, sometime after getting out of bed, he took a cold shower, got dressed in his work uniform and ate his breakfast of champions: orange juice [knock off Happy Hungergan's name brand, says no pulp, has pulp anyway], toast [singular, slightly burnt], and exactly enough coffee [triple-double expresso blend, illegal in most first, second, and third world countries] before the caffeine dosage became lethal to a normal human being.

The final stop of his morning routine was practicing his "service smile". Leaning over his sink, empty, cobwebbed blood pressure medication bottles littering its sides, he glanced down to a framed picture he kept to the side of the mirror: a photo of himself when he was 16, new to the job and smiling cheerfully at the camera in his then-new work uniform—red with gold highlights. He glanced at the haggard, aged man he'd become in the mirror and did his best to imitate that smile.

It was like looking at a machine that intellectually knew of the muscles needed for smiling but which could not properly control them to make a smile that didn't look like a forced parody of one.

Good enough.

He made one final stop before leaving for work by checking his calendar, his eyes sliding across past dates until he got to that day in particular.

"Morning Shift, Back Room Cleaning."

Tyler leaned his face in close to reread that carefully. 'Back Room Cleaning. That was today? Whelp, better get the tools. He sighed as he reached into the nearby drawer and opened it. A plethora of different weapons were within it, each clearly marked and labeled with a different sticky note. He grabbed the one under "Clean Up", a flame thrower.

No sooner did he fetch his work implement did he notice his work-branded phone have a new message from his Manager: 'We got more new guys than expected, need your help with training.' Tyler stopped as a brow raised in surprise. Him? Help train a new guy? When he had backroom clean up today? He wasn't surprised, per say, that he'd get his heaped on him, but he really didn't need to babysit when the backroom needed clean up. Taking a final, calming breath, he forced his face into a neutral expression.

No time to complain. Time for another wonderful day as a valued employee of Happy Hungergans Facility 1678-F between Hawkins and Dale Valery.

--- --- ---

"Come on people, we open in 5." By the time Tyler arrived, he managed to catch the tail end of the manager of his branch, Mr. Ya, finishing up addressing the morning crew. In addition to his older coworkers, a trio of new faces stood at attention near the cleaning stations. As the tall, lanky fox man shouted out orders to the older members of the crew, Tyler took the time to inspect the newbies.

Dressed in the red and green fast food uniforms of the job, a haggard, bandage-covered mummy girl with visible, lidded eyes and purple hued skin was boredly staring forward, while next to her was a two-headed hydra person that, going by their arguing voices, seemed to be a brother-sister duo. Finally, the most normal person there to the left of the hydra was an androgenous young red panda person, the youth caught in a cold sweat as their eyes glanced around at the creatures around them.

Tyler knew that feeling all too well, at least back when he started out.

"Alright people, listen up," Mr. Ya began, his typical morning spiel that felt more mandated by corporate than on his own initiative. "We've got hungry customers coming in when we open up, and it is our duty—nay, our privilege—to serve them! Remember, do your jobs, do them well, and you'll see things through until your Contract ends and you can get out of here." the assembled new faces nodded in understanding at their new bosses words.

"Oh good, you're here," it didn't take long after his arrival for Mr. Ya to catch sight of him. "We can start on-the-job training now."

"I thought I was only going to be training one." Tyler's voice was blunt but nonplussed. The least intensive thing that could happen here was being given an extra workload than promised.

"You are," Ya declared while jabbing a thumb back to the red panda. "You've got Lu Wong." The Fox turned his head almost 180 degrees to look behind himself. "Lu, you got Wu."

"Y-you got it, Mr. Boss dude." Lu declared with a fast but sloppy salute, their voice scratchy and quiet. Mr. Ya let out a single barking "HA" of laughter before turning his head back to Tyler and

catching sight of his flamethrower. "Almost forgot about that. You think you can handle two things at once?"

"Wouldn't be the first time, boss," Tyler said as he hefted up his flamethrower to his shoulder and marched over to Lu. Tyler stood around 5'8, while Lu was a full head shorter than him. The nervous looking red panda looked up to him with a shaky smile. Tyler tried to smile back but it only seemed to unnerve them even more. Damn, he really needed to work on that. "Alright kid, you're with me. We're going to do back room clean up." Lu glanced at the weapon in Tyler's hands.

"Is, uh, the flamethrower normal?" they asked. Tyler just looked around the kitchen at the various otherworldly creatures in shared work uniforms—Jimson the snow-white yeti in a size-too-small shirt, Samson Scrake the strange disproportionate night creature with too-big eyes and hands, and Lavender the purple and black assistant manager fairy busy scrolling on her phone above them all—before looking Lu in the eye.

"You tell me, kid," Tyler said in an even tone. Lu glanced around at everything around them before nodding, creatures and motivational posters with things like 'Work Hard! Failure to Work Hard will result in Demerits and time in the Torment Nexus!'

"It's normal."

"Good, you catch on quick. This'll go by fast," Tyler said as he marched over to the back room entrance at the rear of the kitchen. Lu followed close behind as Ya handed off the other trainees to their respective trainers for the day in the rest of the kitchen. Stepping in front of the back-room door, Tyler punched in a code into a set of buttons next to it and began to wait as the depressurization sequence began.

"Soooooo…..You been here long?" Lu asked. Oh great, small talk.

"Since I was 16," Tyler uttered.

"Was….that long ago?"

"I am old now, yes." 33 was old, right? He stopped keeping track after the first temporal displacement event in his 20's. He wasn't even sure what he actually was chronologically anymore.

"Cool, cool," Lu said. "I, uh, got the job because the pay looked good."

"Relax kid, nobody's going to judge you for getting swindled into this for the money." Tyler shrugged as he looked back. "We're all here for the same reason: it's too late to back out now. Once the Contract gets signed, you're in until it ends. Except Lavender, I think, she's here because of Fae politics or nepotism or something."

"Which one is Lavender?" Lu asked. Tyler shot them a raised brow.

"Wasn't that covered in your orientation?"

"I was actually supposed to work in the Hungergans the next county over, but they, uh…." Lu paused as they tried to remember the exact wording. "They kinda 'ceased to exist in this plane of reality' because someone accidentally dumped ice into the fryer."

"Must be the old model then." Tyler shrugged. "Lucky you, we got everything updated." Lu eyed a nearby ice maker that didn't look any different from any other ice maker in any other fast food place in the world. "The Elementals we keep in them now have a killswitch so stuff like the Fryer-Ice-Induced-Dimensional-Collapse doesn't happen here." Tyler added upon seeing Lu's confusion.

"Oh….Yeah, that totally makes sense man," Lu said, no small amount of sarcasm dripping in their tone. That actually got a snort from Tyler.

"No it doesn't and you know it," he said before looking at the backroom door. It should be open by now but it was still churning its locks. This is what you get for making updates with the lowest bidder. "Okay, so while we're here, that-" he pointed to Mr. Ya as he was going over some final details with the hydra twins at the grill station. "Is Mr. Ya. He's a god." Lu blinked.

"A…..god?" they asked in confusion.

"Yes," Tyler bluntly replied.

"What's a god doing as a manager to a fast food place?" Now they were asking the real questions.

"Owed a favor to a fairy queen who just so happens to be a member of the board." Tyler half shrugged. "Fae, man, they can get anything to work with them."

"I, uh, can see that." Lu said as they scratched the back of their head as they looked at a near by poster. 'Remember, OT is optional and not mandatory at all. Coincidentally, failure to perform to standards will result in you becoming part of the walls.'

"Anyway he's good people, so don't be too nervous around him." Tyler continued. "The flying fairy is Lavender Chocola. She's the assistant manager but don't expect any assisting from her." He didn't elaborate further on the off chance she heard him speaking ill of her. He nodded towards the white yeti like man. "That there is Jimson. He fought for the Revolution." Lu blinked.

"Which Revolution?"

"The one that won, apparently."

"Wait, what's he doing here if the Revolution won?"

"He wears glasses under that mop of hair, you see, and we all know what happens to people who wear glasses after the Revolution has won." Tyler didn't waste much more time before nodding towards Sam. "That there's Samson. He handles a bit of everything, like me, and soon you."

"So, I'm not going to be stuck on backroom detail forever?" Lu asked.

"Only if you fuck up." Tyler then turned to face Lu completely and leaned forward until their eyes were at level. "Don't fuck up." His voice was even and stoic, but on the inside, it was a genuine plea.

"I-I won't, dude." Lu gulped. Tyler nodded just as the locks finally finished unsealing the Backroom doors.

"Okay, stand back," He said as he readied the flamethrower. Tyler took one look at the weapon being readied and wasted no time leaping behind Tyler. No sooner did the doors begin to open did tendrils of what looked like fused, motile hamburger meat began to filter out from the first cracks, only to be burnt to ash when Tyler unleashed the Flamethrower. A squelching, feral hissing sound came from behind the opening door followed by more squelches as something made a break for it deeper into the back rooms. By the time the flamethrower stopped firing and the doors were open, it was long gone from sight.

"What the hell was that!" Lu asked.

"That is what the flamethrower is for." Tyler declared as he waggled the weapon in question. Entering the airlock room into the back room area, Tyler grabbed a nearby note board and eraser marker and handed it to Lu. "First thing's first, kid: Learning to identify and mark what's in stock and what needs to be restocked. You handle that, I'll keep the meat in check."

"The 'meat'?! Is that what people are eating!?"

"Don't be ridiculous. That is what spawns from what people are eating if it isn't regularly pruned." Steadying the flamethrower into a comfortable grip, Tyler took the lead. "Close the door behind you, kid, we're going to be here a while.

--- --- ---

To Tyler's pleased surprise, the rogue meat monsters were rare today. Only a 7 to one ratio! As he finished burning a meat creature to ash that had tried to wait in ambush, Lu was busying themselves with focusing on the cataloging of items in the biting cold rather than the things attacking them. Tyler stomped on the charred cinders of what was once a meat monster before looking around, making sure there were no other surprise attacks waiting. He paused as he saw how nervous Lu was, hand shaking as they tried to scribble down the latest addition to their food-census.

"Hey Kid," he called out.

"Y-yeah?"

"Why do you want that money so bad?" Tyler asked. Lu glanced at him in bemusement. Tyler, still looking around for any avenues of attack, jabbed a thumb at himself. "My family needed the money bad, so I got into this job and stuck with it. Now I'm in too deep and am just saving up for the good life when I clock out." He glanced over to Lu. "You?

Lu paused as they tapped their note board, a thoughtful look in their eye.

"I….wanna be a doctor, man. But the only school I can go to costs way more than we can afford even with government money, and like, my moms already have two jobs each. So, I figured I'd do this place for a couple of years, get the money I need and dip, you know?" the red panda explained. Tyler paused as he took a moment to consider Lu more closely.

"….Doctors pay good, yeah, but this place? 450k a year is no joke, all for putting up with its brand of nuttiness and the occasional death experience." Whether they caught that last part or not, Lu shook their head.

"It's not about the money, man. It's like…..Helping people, you know? I wanna do that, I wanna help people." Lu winced as they looked over to Tyler. "That, uh, make sense?" To their surprise, Tyler's stoic, stony face had remolded itself into something new. A smile. Small, but genuine and not something out of a horror show like when they'd first met not an hour ago.

"Really, now?" Tyler probed.

"Yeah," Lu nodded. "I've seen what cancer and stuff does to people, man. Lost my favorite granny to it. If I can help people beat that, I will!"

"Tell you what, kid, you promise me you're going to become a doctor and help people, and I'll promise to keep you safe in this place," Tyler said. Lu perked up at that.

"I, uh…Yeah. Yeah!" The two shared a smile before freezing as a deep squelching sound echoed in the room. Tyler snapped his head to look in that direction, flamethrower at the ready when he caught sight of it: The remaining meat monsters had combined into a single super-sized mass.

"Alright then, let's start right now. Get behind me, kid, this is going to get messy." Tyler hefted the flamethrower and unleashed a torrent of scorching fuel into the middle of the meat-mass. The creature, if it could even be called that, recoiled before the burning fuel could impact it. Whether it was learning from the others that fell, or it was some kind of instinct as a result of its greater size conferring intelligence, remained an unanswered question to Tyler. Regardless of the specifics, it dodged and lashed out with a tentacle.

Tyler dropped to a knee, the tentacle going over his head before he aimed the flamethrower to burn the passing tendril to ash and dust. Only for a second tentacle to use the distraction to grab the barrel and wrestle it out of his grip, tossing the weapon to the side and leaving Tyler open to be grabbed by a third.

"FUCK!" he managed to yelp out as it wrapped around his torso and raised him up into the air. "Kid, new lesson! Grab the 'thrower and burn this fucker while it's focusing on me!" Tyler shouted to Lu, years of experience allowing him to keep his head in the game rather than become weighed down by panic.

For their part, Lu snapped out of their shock to scramble towards the Flamethrower while Tyler was swung around the air. The older man had to raise his arms to keep from getting his face smashed up by impacts to the walls or the supplies. The Happy Horrogan's brand had a lovely immortality clause thrown in for free while on its premises', but that didn't make getting hurt any less awful.

"H-how do I use this!?" Lu asked as they struggled to lift up the weapon in their shaking arms.

"P-GUH!" Tyler grunted as he found himself impact a wall particularly hard. "POINT TOWARDS THE MEAT AND PULL THE TRIGGER! SI-OW-SIMPLE!" Lu gulped as they followed Tyler's instructions and shakily pointed the barrel towards the creature. Their inexperienced fingers fumbled with the trigger until they managed to depress it, sending out a wave of fire into the meat mass that burnt a hole straight through it. A sickening squeal escaped the meat monster as it dropped Tyler and immediately beat a retreat, shoving what remained of its mass into the depths of the storage room.

As soon as it was out of sight, Lu dropped the flamethrower and rushed over the Tyler, who was grunting as he hefted himself up to his feet and brushed his uniform off.

"Oh my God, are you okay!?" Lu asked. Tyler waved them off with a hand.

"Yeah, kid, I'm good," Tyler allowed himself some stretches and cracked his neck before nodding to his younger ward. "Good job there, kid, we'll make a good employee out of you yet. No wall for you." Lu gave a shaky smile at that.

"The, uh, the wall thing is just a joke, right?" Tyler leveled a look at Lu that caused them to wince. "Oh…." Tyler pat the younger worker on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, you get used to it. Eventually." the older worker looked around the cold area before moving over and picking up the Flamethrower. He double checked the fuel and frowned. "Damn, kid, gonna have to teach you to fire in bursts."

"S-sorry!"

"Relax, kid, everyone does it their first time." Tyler said with a shrug as he shouldered the weapon. "Not enough to finish the job, so we're going to have to call it a day with the back room cleaning for the day. You manage to get your notes on the supplies down?" as soon as Lu nodded, Tyler chuckled. "Well then, looks like we're done here. Come on, let's get back to the front. This cold is a pain in the ass."

With that, the pair began the trek towards the door into the storage area.

"Not what you were expecting when you would work at a fast food place, huh?" Tyler asked. Lu just shook their head. "Well, don't worry." He said as they approached the door and he began to enter the code to get back out. "Once you get used to this place, it'll just be a job like any-" In a split second, the world began to shake. Almost instinctively, Tyler grabbed Lu and held them steady as the shaking continued for a solid minute before ending. For their part, Lu managed to handle the sudden experience without screaming, but the wide look in their eyes and grit teeth revealed their panic.

After a moment had passed, the world finally stopped shaking.

"What the hell was that, man!?" Lu shouted, fear in their voice. Before Tyler could respond, the intercom on the other side of the door activated with a chime and a too-sweet corporate voice began to speak.

"ATTENTION EMPLOYEES OF Hungergans Facility 1678-F, WE ARE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO BE TRANSPORTED TO A NEAR BY HAPPY HORRORGAN'S TERROR IMPERIUM AND FAMILY FUNTIME MOTEL!"

"Oh great, one of those days." Tyler grumbled. "Okay kid, looks like you're going to have to put up with a bit more horse sh-" The intercom chimed again, this time a new voice speaking up.

"Attention all attendees, we are happy to announce that today is now Weekday! The space time continuum around the premises of the motel will now extend today's remaining 10 hours to a full week's time! Be sure to enjoy all of our provided activities, complementary for all staying!"

…..A Weekday.

"W-what'd she mean by that?" Lu asked, utterly confused. Tyler just looked at them with sympathy.

"You ever wonder what Overtime felt like? You're about to find out."