HOLLYWOOD WHAT IF

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to tirily19!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 30


The big day came and Kazir had a hard time sleeping. When morning came, Kazir had dark circles around his eyes. He clearly hadn't slept properly.

Yet he was too active to feel tired. He took a cold shower to wake up.

Then he left his apartment and took his bumpy car to the studio. Next to the studio was a newsstand. Kazir bought a newspaper and grinned when he saw the front page of the New York Post.

[$68 million! As of October 6, 1995. Se7en, directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, has grossed more than $68 million in 2500 theaters. From 47 million in its first seven days to 68 million in its second week. It garner 21 million at the North American box office in its second week. This week it has an average of $8,363 per theater!]

This news will probably make Hollywood companies lose their minds. This was good news for Kazir, who was eager to prove himself.

Today was the small screening of Napoleon Dynamite. New Line Cinema and Fox Searchlight Pictures had already said they would attend the screening of Napoleon Dynamite.

There were four hours left in the schedule. Kazir arrived early because he had to set up the projector.

As he entered the studio, he noticed that Rector was already there.

"Rector, you're earlier than I am."

"I can't sleep. Knowing that big people from Hollywood will be watching the movie I edited made me excited."

Kazir chuckled. He had the same reaction. A few minutes later, Renner and the others arrived. Even Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal helped with the preparations.

This film was their door to Hollywood. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. After all, they had important roles in the movie.

If Napoleon Dynamite was released and did well, they would have a chance to become famous.

An hour later, Reese Witherspoon showed up. She had been taking acting classes these days to improve her acting. She also has a "good" relationship with Kazir.

She smiled at Kazir and approached him.

"You look terrible."

It was the first time she saw him haggard with dark circles around his eyes. She thought this man was always calm, but it seemed she was wrong.

'As long as it's about his movie, he's always excited.'

She realized that Kazir loved movies very much. Every transition, every cut, every angle, every lens, Kazir studied them seriously.

They had watched a few movies in the last few days and she had learned more about him. She realized that Kazir was slowly becoming more attractive. In her opinion, a man who loves his career is handsome.

"Hm. I have to set up the projector. I'll talk to you later, Reese."

"..."

If there was a problem, it was Kazir, who was too absorbed in his job. He didn't care about anything, not even the beautiful woman next to him.

'Well, that's why he's attractive.'

There was a study that women like men who ignore them. They were attracted to that kind of man because they love the thrill of making them fall... Maybe this study was not real. But there was a saying that "girls like bad boys".

Then the next group showed up to help Kazir and cheer him on.

"Salvatore."

Kazir greeted his agent. While Kazir was busy editing Napoleon Dynamite, Salvatore was meeting with companies that wanted to contact him. Kazir was grateful to have him.

Even though Salvatore was young and had only rookie actors under him, he didn't show any nervousness in front of the giant studios.

"Kazir, this is my actor. His name is Park Hae-Won. He is half Korean like me."

"Hello, Director Grey."

"Hm." Kazir nodded at him.

He glanced at the Korean actor for a second before looking away.

'Asian actors didn't have a strong influence in Hollywood, even in the future. Only a few Asian actors became successful in Hollywood, such as Jackie Chan and Jet Lee.'

To be honest, Kazir was confused as to why Salvatore signed an actor who had little potential under him. Was it because of his Korean heritage?

Besides, the man had a hard-to-pronounce name. He didn't even know which was his surname.

'Is it Park? Or Hae-Won?'

He would probably have to change his screen name.

Anyway, Kazir was too busy to think about it. The hours passed and the people from the film companies arrived one by one.

Kazir and Salvatore greeted them eagerly. Some of these executives were invited with the help of CAA. Salvatore Barlowe did his best to make sure that many film companies would watch the movie.

The reason these people attended this screening was out of respect to CAA and to see if Kazir has potential.

Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite were completely different genres. But that didn't stop them from seeing the movie.

If this movie was profitable, they would buy it. It was that simple.

The movie started with no logo, just the opening credits. Napoleon Dynamite hadn't signed a deal with a distributor. So the opening logo was still missing. Kazir would add it as soon as the deal was done.

Minutes passed, and people burst out laughing and giggling. It didn't happen once, but several times.

This showed one thing: Napoleon Dynamite was a funny movie. At least the reactions of the people from the distribution companies were good.

Kazir had a satisfied smile when the movie ended. He could see that people were interested in working with him.

"It's a good movie. If we have a chance, we can talk later, Mr. Grey."

A fat man approached him with a smile and shook his hand.

"Mr. Weinstein, I'm glad to hear that."

Harvey Weinstein nodded. He could see that Kazir was interested as well.

However, Harvey looked at the people from the other distribution companies. It seemed that he was not the only one who was interested in this movie.

Se7en had been well received and no one wanted to let go of this Napoleon Dynamite. These two movies were written by Kazir Grey, this man has potential.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 31


Hollywood. The center of the film industry in the USA. The place many actors yearn for. Even foreign actors were willing to die just to get a glimpse of their faces being filmed in Hollywood.

This place has been called paradise and sin city at the same time. It brings hope and despair.

"A place you don't want to leave in the hope of reaching your dream."

Kazir muttered.

He looked at the managers from Hollywood distribution companies attending the small screening.

He sighed, knowing that his first hurdle was over. The fact that even the infamous Harvey Weinstein attended the screening and congratulated him personally was enough to satisfy his vanity.

He could feel it, he was getting closer to his dream.

But he knew very well that this was just the beginning. He still had something to do. That was to sell his movie to one of these companies.

In Kazir's opinion, movies should be enjoyed. At the same time, the purpose of making a movie was to make money. It shouldn't be a free ticket, otherwise, his hard work as a director was useless.

'The best offer will have Napoleon Dynamite in their movie library.' He smiled.

"So what do you think?"

Nancy Utley asked her assistant. They had been invited to watch the screening after expressing their intention to buy the copyright of Napoleon Dynamite. Tom Rothman had sent her here specifically.

She thought Napoleon Dynamite had a lot of good points. But she also had to listen to the opinions of others. They were running a business, and every step had to be scrutinized.

"If you ask me, this movie has potential. At least with a budget of 500 thousand dollars, this movie will easily make a profit in theaters... As long as we bought it cheap. But," the assistant looked at the distribution managers around him.

They were all thinking the same thing, they want this movie.

"Everybody, if you're interested. We can have coffee later."

Salvatore, Kazir's agent, suggested and they nodded with clear intention.

Minutes passed and the first shot was taken. After the screening, the man contacted Kazir and Salvatore.

It was a manager from New Line Cinema.

"Clent, your offer is sincere and I can see that New Line Cinema wants to work with me again. Give me some time to think about it." Kazir said respectfully.

"I hope to hear good news from you, Mr. Grey."

After the success of Se7en, the people at New Line Cinema began to respect Kazir.

The two shook hands.

"What do you think?"

As his agent, Salvatore listened to their entire conversation, but he didn't join in. He respected Kazir's decision. He just hoped he would choose the best offer.

"You heard it yourself. New Line Cinema wants to buy out the entire copyright and worldwide distribution of Napoleon Dynamite for $2.3 million. That's not bad, but that's just the beginning. We can say that $2.3 million is the starting point."

Salvatore nodded in agreement.

"Worldwide distribution? They are pretty confident, aren't they?"

Even Salvatore felt like New Line Cinema was belittling the movie.

"To be precise, they are too damn arrogant." Kazir muttered after the manager left.

The film had a production cost of 500 thousand dollars. But in just a few months it could be sold for $2.3 million. That was a huge increase.

Have you ever seen a $500,000 investment turn into $2 million so quickly? Probably not. Even in the stock market and cryptocurrency, that rarely happens.

In a way, making a movie is a great investment.

As long as the movie is profitable.

The first day passed. Kazir and Salvatore were contacted by four companies interested in the movie.

They were sitting at the bar, a high-end bar to be exact. The peaceful jazz music in the background soothe them.

"New Line Cinema wants to buy the overall copyrights for $2.3 million."

"Universal Pictures, $2.5 million for North American distribution."

"Miramax, $1.5 million. But they promise a 5% revenue cut of the North American box office."

Note that the box office was different from the revenue. The revenue was much less.

"As for Fox Searchlight Pictures, they also want to buy it for $2.5 million."

To be honest, the first day was better than they expected. At least four companies showed interest in the film.

"So their bottom line is probably around $3 million. They are just testing the waters."

Salvatore next to him swallowed a glass of tequila after listing each company's offer.

It was a clear fact that these companies were profit-driven. They want to buy the movie as cheaply as possible.

'What? Do you think a $2.5 million deal for North American distribution is too small for Napoleon Dynamite?'

Napoleon Dynamite only cost $500,000 to make, and it didn't have any strong actors in the cast. No sane company would buy it for 5 to 10 million, that's not how business works. This is not a fairy tale.

"At least they will buy it for cash upfront. So how much do you want to sell it for?" Salvatore was curious to hear Kazir's thoughts.

"$3 million plus 10% box office."

"Pfft--! Are you crazy!?"

Salvatore almost threw up his drink.

"$3 million might be acceptable, but 10% box office is an impossible task."

"I know." Kazir shrugged. He had just said his best offer.

"But let's not forget that I have Se7en under my belt. There might be someone who agrees with me."

"Maybe. If you really want a box office share, why not go for Miramax? Their conditions met yours even though it's only revenue cut. Harvey Weinstein personally offered an amount, the founder of Miramax. That means he takes you seriously."

"Indeed..."

Kazir could not say that Harvey Weinstein had a very bad reputation in his past life. Kazir was not sure he could trust Harvey Weinstein.

'I heard that he likes to cheat foreign directors. I'm not a foreigner, so it's hard to cheat a man like me who's in Hollywood.'

Kazir was confident in his film. He knew it would do well at the box office. But he wanted to get a much better deal than the 5% revenue cut Miramax was offering.

Anyway, it was only the first day. Maybe he could wait for the next day and hope someone would make a better offer.

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[Pujimaki]

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Hollywood What If Chapter 32

The next day came and the intensity of the competition became fierce.

In the end, Kazir decided to keep the global and videotape distribution copyrights. He could use these chips to negotiate with Hollywood companies later.

Obviously, they didn't agree with New Line Cinema's offer to buy all the copyrights (global and videotape distribution) of Napoleon Dynamite for such a small amount as $2.3 million.

"Hello? Salvatore? Someone wants to meet me? I understand."

Kazir received a phone call from Salvatore Barlowe. It seemed that Orion Pictures was also interested in his film.

"Tell them I'll be right there."

Kazir nodded and accepted the meeting. They would meet at the Orion Pictures building to negotiate.

.........
......
...

On the other side, Tom Rothman was talking to Nancy Utley about Napoleon Dynamite.

"So you're saying the movie is funny? And it's not a vulgar comedy. Kids under 13 can watch it?"

"Yes. When the movie is rated by the MPAA, I'm sure it will get a PG-13 rating."

"That's good to hear."

Tom Rothman found that most of the people who attended the screening had good things to say about Napoleon Dynamite.

At the very least, everyone understood that the movie would do well in theaters. If they did it right, they might have a chance to make money on it.

"..."

Tom Rothman pinched his chin. Then he decided to read the information about Kazir Grey.

"Kazir Grey, born September 9, 1968. He recently divorced his wife because she cheated on him... The wife got the house."

The latter was a bit disturbing since Kazir clearly hadn't fought for his property. But Tom Rothman would never judge a person, at least Kazir had the upper hand in terms of moral standards.

Anyway, Tom Rothman knew most of Kazir's life during his 7 years in Hollywood. This kind of information could be found if you hire a private investigator.

Nancy Utley sat across the table. She didn't know why Tom Rothman was silent.

"Wait a minute..."

Tom Rothman noticed something interesting. He looked at Nancy Utley.

"Do you have any idea how much the other companies offered Kazir?"

"Sir. I found out that New Line Cinema wants to buy all the copyrights of Napoleon Dynamite for $2.3 million. As for Miramax, it's $1.5 million, but with a 5% cut of the North American box office revenue."

Tom Rothman chuckled when he heard New Line Cinema's offer. It seemed like they were trying to squeeze Kazir to death with an offer like that.

"... Contact Kazir or his agent. Tell him I want to see the movie."

"Yes sir."

For a CEO of a giant movie company, it was a surprise that Tom Rothman was interested in a small-budget movie.

'Maybe Kazir Grey made a big impression on me after I met him personally.'

In his opinion, Kazir Grey was a starving wolf. He didn't know how to explain it, but he could see that Kazir was hungry for recognition.

However, Kazir kept his fangs hidden, and he could think better than anyone. At least that was how Tom Rothman saw him.

'If I knew I would be so interested in him, I should have invested in his movie.'

He sighed.

Well, the situation was not that simple last time. Even though Tom Rothman was the CEO, he could not make any important decisions without the acknowledge of the shareholders. Especially when Fox Searchlight Pictures was just getting started.

One wrong move and the shareholders would berate him. Maybe even the Murdoch family would kick him out of the company. Keep in mind that Rupert Murdoch had the largest share of 20th Century Fox. He basically owned it.

If his intuition was right, Kazir Grey definitely had a plan to make a sequel. If Napoleon Dynamite was a success, Tom Rothman would have nothing to lose.

.........
......
...

"Mr. Grey, it's nice to meet you."

Brad Krevoy of Orion Pictures shakes hands with Kazir Grey. Orion Pictures had recently survived another bankruptcy. And they were trying to find another way to get back on their feet.

'I heard that MGM was going to buy Orion Pictures this year.'

Knowing the future, Kazir Grey knew that MGM would successfully buy Orion Pictures around 1997. As for other information, Kazir was clueless.

Orion Pictures was known for producing Pulp Fiction, The Silence of the Lambs, Dances With Wolves, and The Adams Family.

They were a major influence in the 1980s. However, like most movie companies, they went bankrupt.

Even now, Orion Pictures was still trying to survive.

When Brad Krevoy was invited by CAA to attend a movie directed by the scriptwriter of Se7en, he knew he had to see it. So he attended the screening.

When he saw the movie, he learned that it would never be easy to acquire. There were so many people who offered millions for the distribution of Napoleon Dynamite.

But Brad Krevoy didn't lose hope. As of now, it seemed that Kazir was still not selling the copyright to Napoleon Dynamite. This meant that Brad Krevoy still had a chance.

They began to talk about Napoleon Dynamite. The two knew the purpose of this meeting, so there was no need to dilly-dally.

"Kazir, I want to buy the North American distribution of Napoleon Dynamite for $2.8 million."

"I'm glad to hear that Orion Pictures is sincere." Kazir nodded and smiled.

"Then..."

Brad Krevoy was a little disappointed that Kazir didn't show any excitement. As if he had already expected the offer.

"Kazir, if you have something to say, I'm free to listen. If it's feasible, I might be able to agree to it."

Since his first bait was not enough to catch the fish, how about a bigger one?

"Brad. If possible, I want a share of the box office."

"That..." Brad almost bit his tongue.

He stared at Kazir. He was confused because he could not see any arrogance in his eyes.

'He thinks he naturally deserves a share of the box office... What a clueless, arrogant freak.'

Indeed. Such a thing might be possible for superstar directors. But Kazir didn't have that status.

"I'll think about it."

Brad Krevoy would never show any dislike. He kept his smile and their first meeting ended peacefully.

However, they both understood that this meeting might be fruitless.

'I guess I will have to find another company...'

Kazir knew that his condition was too much. But he felt that he would regret it if he didn't fight for the best options.

"Kazir, we received a call from Nancy Utley of Fox Searchlight Pictures. She said CEO Tom Rothman wants to see the movie."

Salvatore whispered next to him after the meeting ended.

"I see. Tell her we can set up the screening today if they have time."

"Okay."

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[Pujimaki]

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Hollywood What If Chapter 33


Hollywood Companies.

Production Companies.

Movie/film companies.

Studio Companies.

Film distribution companies.

There were a lot of ways to call them. But basically, they are known as movie/film companies.

Some film companies based their business solely on making movies. Other film companies had distribution channels to distribute their films.

The latter companies were usually at the higher end of the pyramid. They earned more money by distributing their movies. There were two kinds of distribution, local distribution, and international distribution.

The best examples of movie companies that had local distribution are DreamWorks, Lionsgate, and Miramax. They could freely distribute their movies in North America.

Now, the film companies that have international distribution are the strongest. Especially the Big Six of Hollywood. These giants basically dominated international distribution. They made a lot of money by distributing their movies around the world.

MGM was one of the Big Five at that time, but it slowly lost its lead. It still has its international distribution, but it doesn't have much influence.

The Big Six of Hollywood are:

Walt Disney

Paramount

Universal Pictures

Sony-Columbia

Warner Bros.

20th Century Fox

These companies have dominated Hollywood for decades. Their influence was strong and their power was almost equal. No one could take the lead.

'Although in recent years before I die Disney has become stronger. They bought Marvel and made billions from Marvel movies alone. They also bought 20th Century Fox.'

Disney might be the strongest film company in the world.

'In the 90s and early 2000s, Warner Bros took the lead. With the Harry Potter franchise, Matrix, Lord of the Rings, The Dark Knight trilogy, and DC Universe.'

According to Kazir, Disney and Warner Bros are the big brothers of Hollywood.

But let's not forget the runner-up.

"20th Century Fox."

This company had created many masterpieces.

"Titanic, Avatar, Kingsman, Terminator and X-Men+Deadpool. When it comes to movie franchises, 20th Century Fox can compete with Disney and Warner Bros."

Unfortunately, this Hollywood giant was still acquired by the politically correct Disney.

Perhaps this was one of Kazir's greatest regrets in his former life. He saw one powerful company kneel before another.

"Kazir Grey, good to see you again."

Tom Rothman walked over to Kazir and shook his hand. They both had a good impression of each other.

Nancy Utley stood next to him, keeping her silence.

"I'm happy to know that a person like Tom Rothman wants to meet me."

"Kazir, don't lower yourself. I believe you will have a great future. So when do we start?"

Tom Rothman saw that the projector was already ready and the screening could start at any moment.

"I'm sorry Tom, can we please wait a few minutes? Apparently someone else wants to see this movie."

"That's fine with me."

Tom Rothman nodded, but it was clear that he didn't feel well. Knowing that another person wanted to see Napoleon Dynamite. Tom Rothman easily deduced that it was a rival.

'The question is, which company is it?'

The answer didn't take long. Another person appeared.

"Terry, I can't believe I'm seeing you here."

Terry Semel, the CEO of Warner Bros. Another heavyweight came to the screening. Next to him was Enrico Pusi. Producer Enrico Pusi saw Napoleon Dynamite yesterday. He sent his summary to CEO Terry Semel.

In the end, Terry Semel decided to see the movie. To decide if this Napoleon Dynamite was worth investing in.

"It's the same for me. Tom, it looks like we are both interested in this movie." Terry replied.

"Indeed."

The two maintained their smiles. But deep inside they were cursing each other.

"Gentlemen, we are ready to start the movie," Kazir announced.

"Hm."

The two nodded. They realized that this meeting could be manipulated by Kazir Grey.

This unknown director had planned this meeting to increase his value. Very impressive, but it all comes down to his movie.

If Napoleon Dynamite was that good, they would give Kazir a nice offer.

October 7, 1995. This year Kazir successfully took a step toward stardom.

The movie started and the two executives of Hollywood giants watched it seriously. They laughed along the way and accepted that Napoleon Dynamite was good. The delivery of the jokes was unexpected and funny.

YoU'rE MoM GoEs To CoLLEgE~

I shaved my hair because I feel hot.

Napoleon's bicycle accident.

His uncle hit him in the face with a steak.

It was a good formula. At least the two CEOs had fun watching the movie. Plus, the last few minutes were funny because Kip sang a song horribly. They could not stop laughing.

"It's a good movie." Tom didn't have to lie.

"Thanks, Tom."

After the screening, the two CEOs returned to their usual cold, domineering style.

Terry Semel and Tom Rothman wanted the movie. That was clear.

"Before we start the negotiation, Kazir, I want to ask you something."

"Go ahead, Tom." Kazir nodded.

"Are you a Jew?"

"... That's right. My mother is from a Jewish family. Her grandparents are from Poland."

Kazir didn't expect to be asked about his race.

"Wait, you are Jewish?"

Terry Semel was surprised.

Jews have a lot of influence in Hollywood. People may deny it, but it was true, Jews run Hollywood. Their presence was so great that they could decide someone's future.

In a way, if you're a Jew, your life in Hollywood would be much easier compared to other races.

In fact, both Terry Semel and Tom Rothman were Jewish!

Hell, even Michael Ovitz of CAA and Michael Eisner of Disney are Jewish people!

You see, the top positions in Hollywood were controlled by Jews.

Even Steven Spielberg, Stanley Kubrick, and George Lucas are Jewish people!

The two CEOs nodded when they realized that the person in front of them was one of them. The Jewish circle in Hollywood tended to help each other.

'My mother is a Jew... She left us after she cheated on Dad.' He kept that to himself.

"Well, I guess my opinion has changed." Terry Semel shrugged.

They didn't force him to tell his story. Everyone had a sad story. It didn't change the fact that Kazir was Jewish.

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[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 34


Robert Shaye. Founder of New Line Cinema.

Harvey Weinstein and Bob Weinstein. The founders of Miramax.

Ronald Meyer. The CEO of Universal Studios.

Terry Semel. The CEO of Warner Bros.

Tom Rothman. The CEO of 20th Century Fox.

Brad Grey. The CEO of Paramount Pictures.

Michael Eisner. The chairman of Walt Disney.

These people had one thing in common, they were all Jewish.

Yes, these bosses of giant film companies in Hollywood were controlled by Jews. This fact could never be erased. Most people in Hollywood understand this very well.

So to say that Jews controlled Hollywood was not an understatement. It was the truth.

Right now, Kazir Grey was standing in front of these two big bosses. He announced that he was also a Jew, and they changed their minds about him.

After what happened in World War II. After the tragedy that the Jewish people faced at that time, they started to stand up and build their empire. Maybe that was the reason why Jews helped each other. Especially those who were persecuted in the 1940s.

So for the people who believe that the Holocaust didn't happen, all I can say is that they are fucking uneducated.

If you believe that these tragedies never happen, you have to ask yourself if you're even a human being.

"I get it, you're a Jew."

Terry Semel smiled as Tom Rothman nodded.

"But that doesn't change the fact that we have to deal with you on a business basis."

"Indeed."

"Well, we will listen to you first. Kazir, how much do you want to sell the North American distribution of Napoleon Dynamite? If it's not unreasonable, I may be able to agree."

Terry Semel assured him.

Kazir licked his lips. To be honest, he hadn't expected to meet these people all his life. He was just an ordinary person who loved to make movies. But now he was facing the big bosses of Hollywood.

He took a deep breath. Even Salvatore Barlowe beside him was nervous. His future depended on Kazir's decision.

"2.5 million dollars and 10% of the North American box office."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Terry Semel and Tom Rothman looked at each other and chuckled. Indeed, everyone in this circle will fight for more money.

"Kazir. I can tell you the truth, this offer is impossible. You don't have the ability to fight for such a condition. Instead, I can pay you $3 million for Napoleon Dynamite."

Terry Semel might have a good impression of Kazir, but this was business. He would never be lenient.

After all, Jewish businessmen were known to be greedy people.

"I'll have to think about it," Kazir replied honestly.

Terry Semel's condition was not bad. At least it was much better than what the others were offering.

"Then I guess my time here is up. Kazir Grey, I look forward to working with you."

"I hope as well, Terry."

The two shook hands and Terry Semel stood up.

Together with Producer Enrico Pusi, Terry Semel left the studio.

"Enrico, contact Kazir later. If the negotiations with Tom Rothman fail, you can offer him $3.5 million. That's already my highest offer. If he asks for more, you can stop."

"Yes, sir."

Terry Semel got into the car and drove away.

"Kazir Grey... Interesting."

Another director of Jewish descent. Terry Semel was glad to know him.

"Kazir. To be honest, you piqued my interest and I saw your three films. They are terrible."

Tom Rothman's honest opinion made Kazir grin.

"Thank you, Tom."

"$2.3 million and 5% of the North American box office. However, you can only get the 3% if the film grosses over $50 million. 5% if it exceeds $100 million. What do you think? Are you confident about your movie?"

Tom Rothman smiled and spread his arms. He wanted to see Kazir's reaction.

Just as he expected, Kazir had a grin on his face when he heard his offer.

'This man is insane. I don't know where he gets his confidence from. Maybe he is just hallucinating.'

"I agree." Without hesitation, Kazir nodded.

Napoleon Dynamite had never grossed more than $50 million in its previous life. Now that he had changed the movie, Kazir decided to gamble. He felt stupid and excited at the same time.

"Fine. But I have to be clear. We will only open about 12 theaters for Napoleon Dynamite in the first week. We need to test the market response before we expand the release of Napoleon Dynamite."

"I understand."

This was a normal thing. Kazir had expected it.

"It's good to work with you. I hope we will have a successful cooperation."

"Me too. Thank you, Tom."

When the negation was over, Salvatore Barlowe sighed. He had thought that Kazir would fight for more.

In Salvatore's opinion, $2.3 million was a lot of money. After all, he would get $69 thousand for that amount. For a small agent like him, $69,000 was already his annual salary.

The next day, Kazir's lawyer, Terrence Downey, read the contract before Kazir signed it. The contract stated everything Tom Rothman had promised.

If the movie made over $50 million in North America, he would get 3%.

If the movie made over $100 million in North America, he would get 5%.

In addition, Kazir received $2.3 million in cash. In his entire life, Kazir had never touched such a large sum.

Kazir was satisfied with the negotiation.

Tom Rothman never attended the signing because he was busy. He sent Nancy Utley instead.

It was already a miracle that a CEO like Tom Rothman had met him last time.

.........
......
...

"Sir," Enrico Pusi pursed his lips as he entered Terry Semel's office.

"What's the news?"

"Kazir Grey has signed a deal with Fox Searchlight Pictures for $2.3 million and 5% of the box office with few conditions."

"I see," Terry Semel nodded. He already had an idea that Tom Rothman would agree.

To be honest, that kind of condition was within his expectations. But Terry felt that Kazir didn't have the status to sign such a contract.

"Either both of them are crazy, or one of them is."

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-This is a new novel. A slow progressive slice of life about a deadbeat dad.

4) Hollywood What If

- Mc returned to Hollywood in 1994.

[I post my novels mostly on Scribblehub, Webnovel, RoyalRoad, and Questionable Questing].

 

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Andrew F!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 35


October 13th, 1995.

Se7en was already in its fourth week and was still raking in money at the theaters. The word of mouth about Se7en was very strong. People could not help but talk about the plot twists.

Starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, who have strong box office appeal, the movie grossed $84.75 million!

Minus production costs of $35 million and advertising of about $5 million. That left $44 million.

Of course, the theater companies had a 30-40% share of the total box office. Still, the rest would go back to New Line Cinema.

Plus, the movie was just getting started. New Line Cinema believed that Se7en could cross the $100 million mark within two weeks.

This information was enough for them to celebrate. Since Kazir was the screenwriter of the movie, New Line Cinema invited him to the celebration party.

Driving his bumpy car, Kazir arrived at the Chateau Marmont. This was one of the hotels in West Hollywood where you could party without being bombarded by paparazzi.

He rented a branded suit specifically for this party. Even though Kazir was paid $2.3 million last week, he was still stranger to luxury.

As per the contract, Kazir paid 50% of the $2.3 million to his brother Aaron Grey. It was business, and Kazir had to honor the contract.

Aaron was shocked to find $1.15 million in his bank account. He had talked to Kazir and he had finally accepted the money.

He could not believe that his half-a-million-dollar investment would turn into $1.15 million in just a few months!

He thanked Kazir and even invited him to visit New York for Christmas. That was when Aaron was going to propose to his girlfriend.

'Unfortunately, the taxes are probably going to screw us up.'

The biggest enemy of American citizens was taxes. Especially rich people who earned more than 1 million dollars a year. The IRS would personally knock on their doors.

'You can make fun of the president, the Pentagon, and the government. But you can't make fun of the IRS, or they'll kill your ass.'

As for taxes, Kazir contacted his lawyer, Terrence Downey, to register a studio company in Delaware. This was one of the best ways to evade taxes, it is completely legal.

From then on, Kazir was president of a small studio company. He called his company "Grey Pictures".

He thought it was a good name.

Kazir entered the hotel. When he went to the formal party, he saw many famous people in the Hollywood circle.

As expected, the crew of Se7en was also present.

"To be honest, I'm not confident that this movie will have a good market response. I was really nervous."

Brad Pitt was talking to David Fincher. They were both holding wine glasses. Maybe they had a couple of glasses because their faces were red.

They were laughing. Their movie was successful, so they were celebrating.

"Kazir! You're here at last!"

David Fincher turned to find Kazir joining the party.

This was a formal party. So there were no drugs, no naked women dancing, and no deafening music.

"David..."

Kazir's mouth trembled. His last drinking session with David Fincher had been a disaster. If possible, he didn't want to drink alcohol today.

"Congratulations! I heard your movie came out yesterday. I wish you the best."

"David, I think you need to drink some water to sober up a bit."

"Hey, I'm still sober," David replied with a red face.

"Yeah right."

"Kazir, I want to thank you for recommending me. I heard that you're the one who recommended me for the role of Detective Mills."

Brad Pitt joined the conversation and shook Kazir's hand.

"Brad, you are a wonderful actor. I think you will have a great career."

"I heard you're also a director. If you have a suitable role for me, you can invite me."

"Of course."

Kazir knew that this sentence could be nothing more than a respectful answer, a courtesy. Maybe Brad Pitt didn't take his own words seriously.

Most actors would make such statements. Hoping that directors would invite them to act.

But for a superstar actor like Brad Pitt, he had the will to accept the invitation. Unless Steven Spielberg, Stanley Kubrick, or Ridley Scott invited him, Brad Pitt would never accept the role easily easily.

"It's nice to work with you."

"Me too."

They had a few conversations and the atmosphere was good. Everyone was happy because their movie was successful. Even Morgan Freeman joined them. More members joined their circle.

Some talked to Kazir and asked him for a favor if he had any suitable roles for them. Some of these may have been nothing more than courtesy.

"Kazir, our genius screenwriter!"

"Robert, good to see you."

"I didn't expect you to finish your own movie after a few months."

Kazir maintained his smile and nodded. He had heard some bad rumors about Robert and he didn't want to be on his bad side.

'Lord of the Rings grossed more than 2 billion. But director Peter Jackson never got his share. In the end, the case even went to court.'

Kazir didn't know the details. But it was true that New Line Cinema had some shady dealings with Lord of the Rings.

"Unfortunately, there was no cooperation." Robert showed a disappointed face.

"Maybe next time."

"Indeed, next time. If you have another interesting script, you can send it to New Line Cinema. I assure you we will take your script seriously."

"Thank you."

Robert laughed. He was in a good mood, considering that Se7en would gross over $100 million. Also, Se7en would be released overseas. He believed that Se7en would make money in other countries.

So he wasn't disappointed that Kazir didn't work with New Line Cinema on Napoleon Dynamite.

He didn't think Napoleon Dynamite would be successful. More specifically, he didn't believe in Kazir Grey as a director.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 36


"Brother..."

"Shut up!"

Kazir took a punch to the face and stumbled to the ground. His nose was bleeding as he hit the ground.

He was stunned for a moment. But another punch hit him in the face.

"H- Hey! Stop! Aaron! You have to stop! You're hurting your brother!"

"I don't have a brother."

The people at the funeral stopped Aaron from hurting Kazir. Otherwise Aaron might kill him.

Kazir sat up groggily and stared at his older brother. All he could see was the rage in his eyes.

"Dad left you half the inheritance, I don't care if you take the money or not. Just don't ever show your face again. I don't have a brother."

Aaron had a cold face as he said these sentences. Aaron didn't care about the money, he was rich on his own. But the fact that Kazir showed up after their father's death annoyed him so much.

Aaron walked away in disgust.

"..."

Kazir weakly wiped his bleeding nose and looked at his father's grave. There was no grass around the grave since the coffin had just been buried.

He didn't know what to say. His heart felt heavy. As if he could not breathe.

He was afraid to meet his father and brother because he knew he had failed them. No matter how many times he tried to make movies, none of them were successful.

He was afraid that his father would be disappointed in him. By the time Kazir got a call from the hospital, it was too late. In the end, he didn't know if he should attend the funeral.

As he expected, Aaron was angry with him.

In his opinion, he deserved every beating he got. If not more.

He took a deep breath and got up. He didn't know how many hours had passed. There were no people in the cemetery and the sun was slowly disappearing.

Kazir walked ahead, his face swollen from beatings. There was even dried blood under his nose. He had lost his mind.

For some unknown reason, Kazir found himself in front of the movie theater. As if he was trying to find solace.

The cashier was confused by his appearance, but decided to give him a ticket. Kazir randomly chose a movie to watch. He didn't care what kind of movie it was. He just wanted to disappear.

He realized he had chosen Napoleon Dynamite.

He didn't get the jokes in the movie. In his opinion, it was boring and the delivery of the jokes was awkward. In fact, he didn't like the movie at all. It was a horrible disastrous movie...

However, his eyes didn't leave the screen.

Minutes passed and he reached the last sequence of the movie. Napoleon started to dance, his eyes were shining.

"..."

Kazir noticed that tears began to roll down his cheeks. He sobbed as the ending credits rolled. He cried out loud. Fortunately, there were few people in the theater and no one was bothered.

He almost killed himself. He wanted to kill himself.

But for some unknown reason, Napoleon Dynamite gave him hope. Since then, Kazir bought the DVD of Napoleon Dynamite. He watched it whenever he was depressed. It was his comfort movie.

.........

......

...

October 14th, 1995

It had been two days since Napoleon Dynamite had been released. Kazir had promised Reese that he would see the movie with her.

Reese Witherspoon and Kazir Grey had a good relationship these days. But neither of them wanted a serious relationship. Reese wanted to focus on her dream while Kazir was afraid of love.

The two had never seen Napoleon Dynamite because they were both busy these last two days.

Kazir settled his contract with his brother. He talked to his lawyer about his newly formed studio company. On the second day, he attended the Se7en celebration party.

As for Reese, she was taking acting lessons and working part-time in the catering business. She only received a small amount of $8 thousand for her role in Napoleon Dynamite.

Well, she was not complaining.

"You promised me I would get a bonus when Napoleon Dynamite was released."

Reese leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Reese, I promise everyone in the crew that they will get a bonus if Napoleon Dynamite is successful."

He replied, inviting her to his car. Everyone needs money, especially poor people who have trouble feeding themselves.

"So what kind of success? If it made over 50 million?"

"$100 million at the North American box office." He replied.

"You're crazy. Are you saying that Napoleon Dynamite, the movie in which I have my first major role, will make $100 million at the North American box office? Are you that confident? Or are you just arrogant?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"What about Se7en? I'm sure New Line Cinema will never be stingy and give you a bonus."

"A hundred thousand dollars."

"So why are you still using this car?"

"I'm still having trouble deciding between Honda and Toyota."

"Hm, I hope Napoleon Dynamite is successful."

She hoped more people would see the movie and remember her.

"Don't worry Reese, you will be famous."

"You keep saying that like you know the future."

Well, she didn't hate it. Kazir's reassurance gave her strength. Reese was still young, and she knew that her dream of being an actress might be just a dream.

"Let's go see our movie."

The two went to the theaters and bought two tickets for Napoleon Dynamite.

As they entered one of the theaters, they saw some people inside. Just like them, they were interested in seeing Napoleon Dynamite.

The movie had been in theaters for two days and was slowly gaining a reputation. By Saturday, Napoleon Dynamite had grossed $70,000 from 12 theaters. That's right, the first week of Napoleon Dynamite only had a tiny 12 theaters.

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[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to King BABA, Madlad, and Ecokane 0!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 37

[Note: If you haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite, you can skip the bracketed paragraphs. Well, the plot of Napoleon Dynamite is simple, and there's no twist or anything. It's a pure popcorn comedy, so...]

Kazir and Reese found seats and sat down. They held their popcorn with excitement. They were excited to see their movie. They were here to have fun.

"Dude, I swear this movie is funny."

Kazir heard a murmur behind them.

"Then why haven't I heard anything about it?"

"Dude, I promise you. You will laugh when you see this movie. It's awkward yet quirky, I don't know how to explain it. Besides, we already saw Braveheart twice. The ending was not satisfying at all, he just shouted 'freedom' for five minutes!"

"That's an exaggeration, and Braveheart is based on a true story."

"All right, all right. Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

Billy and Wallace were college kids. They were movie goers and loved to watch movies every week.

Yesterday, Billy was curious when he found out that another movie was released to the theater. He didn't know anything about the movie, but he decided to go see it.

When the credits rolled, Billy was smiling from ear to ear. The movie made him laugh, and that was enough for him to invite his friend to watch it with him.

[The movie opened with Napoleon. He was an introverted and socially awkward teenager. He was riding the school bus on his way to school.]

"Is he the protagonist? He looks really dorky."

"Shh, just watch, okay?"

A few seconds later, the audience started laughing at Napoleon and Kip. Their combination was funny.

[Napoleon had three relatives. The first was his brother (I'm not sure about this one). Kip Napoleon. He was a guy in his thirties who usually chatted online with his girlfriend. Like Napoleon, he was also a nerd.]

[Second was Napoleon's grandmother. She was an active woman who liked to ride motorcycles in the desert. She had an accident because of it.]

[Third was his Uncle Rico, who lived in a camper van. Napoleon spent the most part of movie arguing with his uncle.]

"Haha, this is funny!"

Napoleon's fight with his brother and uncle made them laugh.

[Napoleon met Deb and Pedro. Pedro let Napoleon use his bike, and unfortunately Napoleon crushed his balls.]

"This is stupid... Pfft--"

[His first meeting with Deb was funny. Especially when Deb showed Napoleon a picture of a model.]

Reese giggled as she watched the scene. She didn't expect it to be so entertaining. When they shot that scene, they kept their job serious.

[At school, Napoleon struggles to fit in with his classmates. However, he finds solace in his love of drawing... His drawing was ugly.]

"Pfft--ha-ha! I can't believe he got a girl to go to the prom with a drawing like that!"

[As Napoleon and Pedro campaign for class president. They face many obstacles, including Summer's popularity.]

[However, the duo manages to win over the student body. With Napoleon's memorable dance routine].

This scene was simple, yet the audience giggled. Perhaps there was something unique about Napoleon's dance.

[In the end, Pedro was elected as the school president. Napoleon got chance to show off his dance moves. And Kip decided to move to Detroit with his girlfriend LaFawnduh. Napoleon also got closer to Deb.]

The movie ended and everyone clapped.

"Woohoo! Nice movie! Nice movie!"

The theater was only about 40% full, but everyone enjoyed the movie.

Billy and Wallace left the theater in a good mood.

"Hi, guys. I'm just here to ask you a few questions about Napoleon Dynamite. From the highest rating of A+ to the lowest of F, how would you rate this movie?"

There were usually people who interviewed moviegoers after they had seen a movie. They were from the Cinemascore.

"A!"

"A+. I recommend everybody see it!"

Billy and Wallace rated it pretty high. They were entertained, so they rated it pretty high.

"Thanks, guys."

Ramon was an employee of Cinemascore and his job was to ask people their opinion about movies.

This time he was asked to interview people about Napoleon Dynamite.

'600 questionnaires. 47 gave it a B grade and the rest were A's and A+'

The average was rated A.

"With that reputation, the movie will probably have an increase in theaters next week. Of course, everything depends on the box office."

As long as the movie had a positive income, the theaters would milk it.

The first day of Napoleon Dynamite was only $6,000.

The second day was October 13, 1995, Friday. The movie had $20 thousand.

Saturday, the third day of the movie. Napoleon Dynamite's income was $54 thousand.

Sunday, October 15, 1995. It was only $47 thousand.

Days passed and October 17th came. So far Napoleon Dynamite had only $166 thousand within the five days.

These days were the hardest for Kazir Grey. He could not sleep. He thought the movie was doing well. But he knew that Fox Searchlight Pictures might think otherwise.

Then he received a phone call. He smiled when he heard that Napoleon Dynamite would be expanding to 34 theaters.

This was the start of Napoleon Dynamite's race to the top of the weekly box office.

Six days after opening, Napoleon Dynamite had 34 theaters. More people started watching the movie.

October 23rd. In the whole week, the film grossed $1.5 million.

Fox Searchlight Pictures asked the Cinema Alliance to expand Napoleon Dynamite to 160 theaters.

Another seven days passed. October 30, 1995. Napoleon Dynamite had grossed $13.54. This result caused Cinema Alliance to increase the screening of Napoleon Dynamite.

November 6, 1995. The movie got $26 million within the week.

So far, the movie has grossed $40.47 million from 760 theaters.

Due to the strong word of mouth and reputation of Napoleon Dynamite, the Cinema Alliance increases its theater count to 1945 theaters!

November 13, 1995... After a whole month, the box office of Napoleon Dynamite was 78 million!

Napoleon Dynamite has grossed $78.24 million at the box office!

No one thought that the beginning of November would have a dark horse! A movie by an unknown director made $78 million in just one month!

[NOTE: I FUCKING HATE MATH!]

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[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Mike B, Kheiven D, Herzog, TheBurningGoose, and KumaBEAR!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 38


The month of November had very strong movies. Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls was released on November 10th. The movie starred the great actor Jim Carrey. In the 90's, Jim Carrey has a very strong box office appeal. Most of his movies have grossed over $100 million at the North American box office.

Another movie released on November 17th was 007 Goldeneye. James Bond has been in theaters for decades. He has a strong influence not only in North America but internationally as well. The current actor who had the banner of James Bond was Pierce Brosnan.

Then, on November 22, the very first computer-animated movie was released. Toy Story changed the animation industry and caused a rapid evolution. Because of its success, Pixar has become one of the most respected animation companies in Hollywood.

These three movies were well received this month.

But no one expected a $500,000 dark horse to win at the box office.

"$106 million!"

Robert Shaye slammed the newspaper down on the table.

"Napoleon Dynamite was only in theaters for over 80 days, and it made $106 million!"

Robert Shaye had an ugly face as he read the information about Napoleon Dynamite. For a movie with a small budget, that amount was so damn big!

He adjusted his tie to get some air. For some reason, he felt bad.

In his opinion, this movie should have been released by New Line Cinema. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

"..."

He pressed the button on his phone and asked Manager Clent to come into his office.

Three months had passed since the release of Se7en. It was December 8, 1995.

Se7en had grossed $129.60 million at the North American box office. It had already crossed the $100 million mark. In addition, the movie was released overseas and had a strong reception.

Its first month overseas was $81.22 million!

This meant that the current worldwide box office for Se7en was $210.82 million! That was a lot of money for a movie with a budget of $35 million.

Robert actually grinned when he saw the numbers go up. However, he felt bitter when he realized that Napoleon Dynamite also had steadily rising numbers.

If he had known that this movie had a strong reception, he should have fought for its distribution. Unfortunately, he thought Kazir's directing skills were mediocre compared to his writing talent.

He was dead wrong. Napoleon Dynamite was still digging for more gold!

"Sir..."

Clent entered the office with a nervous look on his face. He already had an idea why Robert Shaye was looking for him. It had to do with Napoleon Dynamite.

Clent was the manager who had seen Napoleon Dynamite. He offered Kazir $2.3 million for a complete copyright buyout of the movie.

Unfortunately, Kazir decided to work with Fox Searchlight Pictures for a better deal.

"Clent, looks like you know why you're here."

Robert Shaye was clearly angry. He glared at the poor manager. In his opinion, Clent was an incompetent manager and had failed to buy Napoleon Dynamite.

"I'm sorry, sir," Clent bowed his head with no choice.

He had no choice but to accept the abuse.

"Useless! Do you know how much damage it does to the company?!"

Robert Shaye roared. Maybe he called Clent just to blame him. He continued to curse and yell at the manager.

When Clent left the office, he was bitter and pale. These were the usual scenes in corporate workplaces.

The little people were blamed, while those in positions were free to live their lives.

"Did I make a mistake?"

Like Robert Shaye, Warner Bros' CEO Terry Semel frowned as he looked at the statistics.

Napoleon Dynamite had only been in theaters for two months, and it was still going strong. Especially now, with the Christmas holidays approaching. Families usually chose comedies and heartwarming movies.

Napoleon Dynamite was rated PG-13, so families could watch it without a problem.

Terry Semel rubbed his forehead.

Warner Bros' biggest investment this year was Batman Forever. It cost $100 million to make. It was released in June.

Warner Bros thought this movie would be successful. However, its worldwide box office was $336 million in December.

It may look big, but the production cost of $100 million was also big. Added the fact that the publicity was around $100 million too. The result of Batman Forever was mediocre in their opinion.

At least Napoleon Dynamite did much better than Batman Forever in its first 80+ days.

Suddenly, his secretary told him that producer Enrico Pusi had arrived.

"Let him in."

Enrico entered the office. Like Terry Semel, Enrico Pusi was bitter. They got the script for Napoleon Dynamite just like they got the script for Se7en. But they ignored both scripts. Now, both movies had grossed more than $100 million each at the North American box office.

"Sir, I'm here about Napoleon Dynamite."

"Go ahead."

But unlike Robert Shaye, who was grumbling, Terry and Enrico were much better.

At least they have a chance to get the overseas and video distribution rights to Napoleon Dynamite.

"I heard that Kazir Grey is currently writing two scripts. The first was an original screenplay, it's also a comedy, but I didn't have enough information. The second is a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite. Kazir Grey has hired writers to help him write the sequel to Napoleon Dynamite."

Sequel!

Terry Semel's eyes lit up when he heard this. Clearly, Napoleon Dynamite had a chance to make more money!

"You did a good job, Enrico."

"Thank you, sir."

Enrico got in touch with Salvatore Barlowe, Kazir's agent. He found out that Kazir was currently writing two screenplays.

Losing Napoleon Dynamite was humiliating enough.

"If his script is promising, I want you to get in touch with him. As for overseas distribution, video distribution, and the sequel, I want them all."

His face was serious. Fox Searchlight Pictures got the first cut of the pie, then Warner Bros would fight for the bigger share.

Everyone knew that the movie companies' main revenue came from the sale of videotapes.

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[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Gabriel!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 39


While the other companies were busy contacting Kazir, the man in question was facing a reporter.

"So, Director Grey. I heard that you don't give your actors any explanation when they audition. You just give them a portion of the script for them to act on."

"Yes," Kazir replied in the middle.

"Can you explain why that is?"

"Well, when we audition, we already have an idea of which actors we are going to hire. So when I found Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal, I knew they would pass the audition. So I decided to give them the part of the script, especially the lines that will make the audience laugh."

"Is that why you asked Ed Helms to say idiot so many times?"

"Yes, that's right. If you have seen the movie, Napoleon Dynamite says idiot more than five days."

"Indeed."

Because Napoleon Dynamite had been a success in North America, Fox Searchlight Pictures began to promote it heavily. The company invited Kazir and the cast to promote the film in various regions of North America.

This was all part of the contract Kazir signed when he accepted the $2.3 million.

Naturally, the cast of Napoleon Dynamite jumped at the chance to further their fame.

Unfortunately, Reese Witherspoon was in Texas while Kazir was in New York. They didn't have a 'connection' these days.

"Thank you for the interview, Director Grey."

"The honor is mine."

The reporter giggled. She was just a small reporter, but Kazir showed her respect. He was a good man. Perhaps he was not yet affected by the so-called 'celebrity mentality'.

"Salvatore, how's my schedule for today?"

"Everything is fine Kazir, you can rest now. We will return to Los Angeles next week."

As his biggest client to date, Salvatore Barlowe took Kazir's schedule seriously. Especially now that so many people were looking for him.

"Yes. Keep in touch with the film companies. If they are interested in my script, you can set up a meeting with them."

"I understand."

"Then I'll say goodbye."

"Have a good trip."

Kazir chose New York specifically to promote Napoleon Dynamite. Because he wanted to see his brother.

Aaron was going to propose to his girlfriend tomorrow, and he invited his friends to a formal party.

Tonight, Aaron invited him to his apartment to talk about life.

It was already December 22, 1995, and Napoleon Dynamite had already grossed $117 million at the box office.

Like other movies, Napoleon Dynamite lost its freshness after a few months. In 14 days, it made only $11 million.

But Kazir was not bitter. In his opinion, Napoleon Dynamite didn't have to prove itself to anyone, not anymore.

Very few movies made $100 million in North America that year, and Napoleon Dynamite was one of them. That was a huge achievement.

"They are probably going to ask me about the distribution rights and sequels..."

Kazir was talking to Fox Searchlight Pictures. They were interested in the overseas and videotape distribution rights to Napoleon Dynamite. Hell, they want it all.

If a movie does well in North America, it usually does well overseas. Even though Napoleon Dynamite has American humor, foreigners would still appreciate it.

Fox Searchlight Pictures' main goal was to distribute Napoleon Dynamite on videotape and to make sequels.

"Aaron!"

"Kazir!"

The two brothers greeted each other with a big hug. They smiled and laughed like little children.

"It's great to see you again! Brother, I can't believe you're going to multiply my money, haha!"

Since Aaron was the sole investor in Napoleon Dynamite, Kazir promised him 50% of the profits.

This kind of contract was really outrageous. Only a crazy person would agree to it.

According to others, Kazir lost a lot of money by signing such a contract.

But Kazir had the opposite opinion. That 50% was his sincerity. He would never cheat his brother. He deserved half.

"Brother, I still have the 5% box office share, so don't celebrate yet."

"Haha, that's right."

Right now, Napoleon Dynamite has earned $117 million. 5% of that would be $5.85 million. A big amount of money, and Aaron would get half of it!

Of course he was happy.

"Film companies usually pay when the movie is about to be dropped from cinemas."

"I understand, I understand."

The two brothers entered the house. Housing in New York was expensive, and Aaron's house was of a normal size. However, this kind of house was very expensive in New York.

While they were talking, the two brothers heard the sound of the doorbell.

"Aaron, do you have a visitor tonight?" Kazir was clueless.

"Actually, Kazir... I want you to meet someone."

Aaron scratched his head. He did not know when Kazir would meet their father, so he decided to plan this meeting.

"..."

Kazir didn't know what to say when he saw his brother fidgeting.

Aaron opened the door.

"... Dad."

"Kazir?"

Victor Grey, Kazir's father, was confused when he saw his youngest son. He hadn't expected to see him tonight.

"..."

"..."

The two men had an awkward first meeting after so many years. They didn't know what to say to each other.

Victor sighed and walked over to Kazir. He patted him on the shoulder and said, "I'm proud of you, son. Napoleon Dynamite is a masterpiece."

Victor regretted not supporting his son. As a father, he should have been there for him. Maybe he was too immature at the time. He wanted Kazir to take over the family business and help his brother.

But now Victor was happy as long as his sons were happy. They are his pride.

In fact, he wanted to contact Kazir, but he was afraid. He didn't know what would happen if he showed himself.

But this meeting was once in a lifetime and Victor didn't miss it.

They are family.

"Dad... I'm sorry..."

Hearing this simple acknowledgment, Kazir burst into tears and hugged his father.

He was usually a quiet man. He rarely cried, but Kazir was showing manly tears right now.

Even Aaron cried the whole time.

The whole family was reunited and their first night together was healing. Victor began to talk about business. Kazir and Aaron also talked about their lives.

The next day Aaron proposed to his longtime girlfriend and she said yes. They celebrated to the point of being drunk.

Even their Christmas was celebrated with alcohol. They were dead drunk on those days.

After reconciling with his family, Kazir returned to Los Angeles in a good mood.

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MMMCMXCIX, or 3,999
Danny Y.
Kieta A.
Sczx
Acedia
Clutch
Jackson J B.
Black
Till Grothe
Marlon A.
Greatface
Eduardo
Kiritsuke
Zuur
Ryuu
Raini M. T.
Robert C.
Wills
VoidStar
tirily19
Duke Y.
terrance s.
Ausner G.

 

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Ricardo S. and Sahal I!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 40


The day after Christmas.

Kazir returned to Los Angeles to sell the copyrights to Napoleon Dynamite.

Unlike the actors who would promote the film overseas, Kazir stayed in America to start his new project.

Of course, he has already talked to Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal about joining his next film. Although they still have to audition.

But unlike the other actors, they have more time to prepare. Kazir has already given them the scripts and signed non-disclosure agreements.

"Kazir, I'm glad to see you again."

"Enrico."

Kazir nodded at the man before him. As soon as he left the airport, producer Enrico Pusi from Warner Bros. contacted him to negotiate.

"Enrico, I just want to set the record straight. Fox Searchlight Pictures and I have a contract. Fox Searchlight Pictures has first dibs on the copyrights to Napoleon Dynamite."

"I understand that. But if the negotiations with Fox Searchlight Pictures fail, you can think of Warner Bros. As long as the conditions are right, we are happy to work with you."

Kazir agreed. That was the way it usually worked in Hollywood.

In his opinion, Fox Searchlight Pictures would try to negotiate with him as much as possible. Napoleon Dynamite was a healthy cow they wanted to milk.

"I suppose you have another reason for wanting to talk to me."

"Actually, Kazir. I read your new script. I just want to say that Warner Bros. will accept your proposal, but we have some conditions."

Salvatore Barlowe first submitted the scripts to 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. These two studios made a good impression on Kazir.

Perhaps he felt their sincerity after the two CEOs attended his little screening.

In a way, 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. have the lead on Kazir's next film.

When Warner Bros. received the script, they studied it very carefully. They thought it would be as successful as Napoleon Dynamite. Terry Semel gave the green light.

Kazir had just started his career and his creativity was still blossoming. A director like him might have three or four movies that would be successful in a row.

His next project had a budget of 35 million dollars. It might be big compared to Napoleon Dynamite, but it was an expected budget. Warner Bros. could invest in a movie with that amount.

"Go ahead Enrico, you can tell me Warner Bros' terms."

"We want to sign an insurance company to monitor the shooting. You know that $35 million is a lot of money."

"I understand." Kazir already expected this kind of condition.

"Second, we hope you can reduce your share of the box office. Kazir, if I'm honest, it should be impossible for someone like you to have a box office share. But we decided to give you a chance. $100 million at the North American box office and you get 3%. $150 million, 5%. $200 million and you'll get 7%. $250 million and you'll get 10%.

Producer Enrico Pusi gritted his teeth as he explained these terms. In his opinion, it was outrageous.

Kazir is no Spielberg or Cameron.

However, compared to the benefits they would receive, this kind of contract was acceptable.

In fact, Kazir's terms were much worse than that.

"Enrico, regarding these conditions, you need to talk to my agent." Kazir grinned.

"..."

Enrico's eyes twitched.

'Fucking greedy!'

But he kept his smile. Their first negotiation had gone well. Both sides had a clear intention to cooperate.

But Kazir had to leave the negotiation to Salvatore Barlowe. That was an agent's job.

His first hour in Los Angeles began with negotiations. But it seemed that the next few hours would be negotiations as well.

At the entrance to 20th Century Fox headquarters, Kazir met Salvatore Barlowe and his attorney, Terrence Downey. If his intuition was right, the first negotiation of Napoleon Dynamite's copyrights would also be the last.

Surprisingly, the venue was the 20th Century Fox building. Instead of Fox Searchlight Pictures.

'Perhaps Tom Rothman wanted to attend the meeting. '

As he expected, Tom Rothman was also in the room.

"Tom."

"Kazir."

The two shook hands firmly. Their first collaboration had been successful.

But this was business, and they had to take it seriously. Everyone was fighting for money.

"As of December 26, 1995. Napoleon Dynamite has grossed $120 million at the North American box office. I'll be honest, it exceeded my expectations. I don't regret working with you, but I hate that I didn't buy all the copyrights. Hell, I even gave you a share of the box office... Kazir, state your terms. Unless they are unreasonable, Fox Searchlight Pictures will give it to you."

Tom Rothman was the lead negotiator.

"$30 million for all the copyrights to Napoleon Dynamite."

"$20 million and we'll get the sequel."

"29 million."

"21 million."

The two began to haggle over the copyrights.

In the end, the price dropped to $27 million.

"$27 million, but Fox Searchlight Pictures gets the sequels and your new project."

"Exclude the new project and we have a deal," Kazir replied.

"Deal, but you have to direct the sequels as well."

"Tom, if I'm being honest, I can't promise I'll be directing Napoleon Dynamite again." Kazir was serious.

"Tch, are you one of those directors who doesn't like directing sequels?"

"That's right."

"$25 million then." Tom tapped his fingers on the table.

"..."

Kazir was defeated and accepted 25 million dollars. This amount was actually not so bad. In just one year, Kazir was a certified millionaire.

Kazir sold the overseas distribution, videotapes distribution, sequels, and other copyrights of Napoleon Dynamite.

[Hello, I just want to promote my other novels:]

1) MC's Not Part Of The Story
- This novel is already completed with 526 chapters.

2) The Only Fuel Is Using The D.
-This is my most read novel for some obvious reasons, ahem.

3) Reincarnated As A Deadbeat Dad
-This is a new novel. A slow progressive slice of life about a deadbeat dad.

4) Hollywood What If
- Mc returned to 1994 Hollywood.

[I mostly post my novels in Scribblehub, Webnovel, RoyalRoad, and Questionable Questing]

 

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Alex and Alex!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 41


"So what's next? The answer is simple, negotiate with Warner Bros. and fight for better terms. If they don't agree, go to the other companies. I'm sure 20th Century Fox will want to work with us again."

"I understand."

Kazir and Salvatore talk after the deal was done. Kazir can't pay attention to negotiations and screenwriting at the same time.

This is one of the reasons why he signed with Salvatore Barlowe. The agent usually does this kind of work while the director concentrates on film-related things like writing, auditioning, and directing.

Lawyer Terrence Downey left after the negotiations, it seemed he was busy these days.

Kazir had known Terrence for years.

He was a good guy. When Cassandra filed for divorce, Terrence Downey wanted to defend Kazir. Unfortunately, Kazir was too much in love with Cassandra in his past life. He lost his fortune in the process.

In this timeline, Terrence was also disappointed because Kazir gave up his house again.

Anyway, these depressing things ended after Kazir won his first million!

'Hell, yeah!'

He got $2.3 million in the first round of negotiations with Fox Searchlight Pictures.

Then he got another $25 million after selling the copyrights to Napoleon Dynamite! There was a lot of money in his bank right now!

Third was the upcoming box office share. He has the right to receive 5% of the North American box office. As of now, Napoleon Dynamite has 120 million dollars.

If Cassandra had heard this news, she would have screamed her head off for leaving such a valuable man.

"Warner Bros. contacted me yesterday. They say they are willing to pay you $5 million to direct "The Hangover. "

Kazir's next film was also a comedy. The title of the movie was "The Hangover."

He first gave the scripts to 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros. These two companies studied the script's profitability. In the end, they agreed that the film had a good chance of success.

Warner Bros. first showed their interest by inviting Kazir to direct the film at a salary of $5 million.

For a new director, this amount was outrageous. Warner Bros. definitely cursed Kazir at the time.

Unfortunately, Salvatore said that Kazir Grey would only accept the deal if he had a share of the box office.

Goddamn leech!

That was the best way to describe the agents.

These people have super thick faces. They will keep nagging for more money for their clients.

Apparently, Salvatore Barlowe wanted Kazir to have a share of the box office as well.

The copyrights to Napoleon Dynamite were sold for $25 million. As Kazir's agent, Salvatore Barlowe is entitled to a 3% commission.

This was the real reason why agents were crazy to have superstar clients. They would never go hungry with them.

Salvatore Barlowe was so happy that his gamble was a win!

750 thousand dollars! This amount was almost ten times his annual salary. Salvatore Barlowe could hardly sleep. Knowing that his bank account was filled with money!

"Salvatore, contact 20th Century Fox as well. I'll go to an accounting firm and settle the money."

"Don't worry Kazir, it's my job to make sure you get good terms. If Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox don't agree to our terms, I will go to Universal Pictures and Paramount. They are harassing me these days."

"Hm, I leave the negotiations to you."

Kazir stood up.

Kazir hired an accounting firm to handle his money and taxes. He thought hiring a personal accountant was a bad thing. He heard about what happened to Nicholas Cage. The famous actor was cheated by his financial manager.

According to the contract, Aaron was entitled to half of Napoleon Dynamite's earnings. This kind of clause was bad for Kazir because he could not take all of the income.

But Kazir and Aaron were brothers. The last people he wanted to betray were his family.

Half of the $25 million was wired to Aaron's bank account. Kazir had already contacted his brother about the money. Aaron laughed hysterically when he received the money.

Let's not forget the 5% of the North American box office.

Kazir was already talking to Salvatore. He was going to urge Fox Searchlight Pictures to give the 5%.

Kazir was confident that Fox Searchlight Pictures would not cheat him.

'If they tried to do that to me, I would never work with them again. Simple as that.'

There were six giant movie companies in Hollywood. He could also work with DreamWorks and MGM.

'I heard that Steven Spielberg founded DreamWorks with Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen to break the monopoly of the big six.'

The company was formed last year and didn't have any projects at the time.

.........
......
...

A few days came and Napoleon Dynamite was released in different countries. Just as it was written in the contract, Ed Helms and the cast were tasked with promoting the films outside of America.

As for Kazir, he talked to Fox Searchlight Pictures to let him stay in America. He wanted to polish his script.

Fox Searchlight Pictures didn't want to make him angry because Kazir had a new project. Fox wanted to work with him.

Kazir and his writing partners were also writing the sequel to Napoleon Dynamite.

Both sides were walking on eggshells and no one wanted to cut ties. At least not yet.

"What's the catch?"

After a week of talking with Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox, Salvatore's face was haggard. But he was clearly excited.

"The two sides want to work with you."

"I know." Kazir nodded.

In fact, Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox have contacted him so many times these days.

"First of all, 20th Century Fox will pay you a salary of $8 million."

"That's a lot of money."

"Indeed."

That amount was really big.

But directors like Steven Spielberg and James Cameron could get 20+20 from movie companies.

20+20 was known as $20 million salary plus 20% of the box office.

This was the reason why Steven Spielberg earned more than $100 million after the success of 'Jurrasic Park'.

Few people in Hollywood could negotiate 20+20 terms.

'Unfortunately, 20th Century Fox didn't want to share the box office with me.'

"What about Warner Bros?"

"Well, they will pay you $3 million and 10% of the box office. But the condition is that the movie has to make over $150 million at the North American box office. If it doesn't, you get nothing except your salary."

"Wow, both of them are really trying to squeeze me." He laughed.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: I created a poll on what movie Kazir should make next. The choices are Ted, The Hangover, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. My patrons chose The Hangover as his second movie. So I apologize if some of you are disappointed. Anyway, spread the love, stop the hate, and be peaceful.]

[Visit my Patreon if you want to read more:]

- 92 advanced chapters of TOFD

- 89 chapters of MNPOTS(COMPLETED)

- 60 advanced chapters of RDD

- 30 advanced chapters of HWI

https://www.patreon.com/Puji_maki

 

[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 42


The conditions of 20th Century Fox and Warner Bros were unfavorable for Calix.

In such a situation, the best option was to contact the other movie studios.

"Salvatore, contact Universal Pictures and Paramount Pictures. I'm sure they'd be interested in working with us. Oh, contact Touchstone and Miramax as well."

"I understand."

Touchstone and Miramax were film companies under Walt Disney.

Walt Disney in the 90s was very much run by Michael Eisner. The Disney family gradually lost its authority over the company. Michael Eisner held the throne of the company as the chairman.

With his helm, he leads Walt Disney to focus on live-action movies. Michael Eisner felt that 2D animated movies would slowly lose their freshness once the new century arrived. He was right, to be honest.

That is why he kicked Jeffrey Katzenberg out of Walt Disney.

Jeffrey Katzenberg was the head of 2D animation at that time. When he was kicked out, he joined Steven Spielberg's plan to start another company. They founded DreamWorks.

Well, part of this story may be unclear. But Hollywood was known for faking its appearance to the outside world.

So at the time, Walt Disney preferred live-action films than 2D animations, which took a year to complete.

'Well, their position will change once they acquire Pixar from Steve Jobs.'

Pixar was the leader in the computer animation industry.

"I will send them the scripts and contact their managers or producers."

"Make sure this news gets out."

"Okay."

The two nodded to each other.

January, 1996. Napoleon Dynamite and Se7en became part of the movies that earned more than $100 million at the box office.

Napoleon Dynamite was released internationally in December after Kazir sold the copyrights. So far, the film has grossed $59 million overseas.

Combined with $132 million in North America, Napoleon Dynamite has grossed $191 million worldwide. The casinos in Las Vegas believe that the movie would gross over $250 million once it is taken out of theaters.

For a production cost of $500 thousand to 250 million dollars. Many movie companies were drooling over these numbers.

In fact, many companies tried to contact Kazir in these days. But he maintained his solitude. Because he wanted to wait for the offers from Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox.

He has great respect for these companies after meeting their CEOs.

'Unfortunately, they didn't show enough sincerity.'

"Well, if they change their terms, maybe I can think about it."

Kazir has the upper hand in this situation. Suddenly, his phone rang and he chuckled when he saw the caller's name.

"Reese? Oh, so you guys are coming back tomorrow? Got any souvenirs from Australia?"

The cast of Napoleon Dynamite signed a contract to promote the movie in various countries.

Reese and the other actors went to different countries, they were tired but excited.

"Okay, I'll meet you at the airport tomorrow."

He smiled.

After meeting Salvatore, Kazir went to the theater to watch a movie.

As a director, it was not bad to learn more shooting styles.

As for his choice, he decided on Jumanji.

"A great movie. Although the cost is quite high."

The budget of Jumanji was 65 million dollars. He took a step into the theater and spent almost two hours of his day watching the movie.

.........
......
...

Ed Helms was still an unknown actor. He was 21 years old and didn't have much in life. He wanted to be an actor.

But with his looks, he knew it would be hard to become a superstar.

"Napoleon! Napoleon!"

When he walked into a TV show, the audience was chanting his name. It was amazing, he felt he had made it.

But he knew that this 'break' would be useless if he didn't star in another movie.

Kazir cast him as Napoleon Dynamite. And Kazir wanted to invite him to do another movie.

Obviously, Ed Helms took it seriously. As the director who made him famous, Ed Helms wanted to work with Kazir again.

Not only Ed, but also Pedro Pascal thought the same. As an Chilean-American actor, he wanted to prove himself in Hollywood. He was given his first step, he might as well follow Kazir to his next movie.

To be honest, these two actors were nervous that Kazir's next movie would be a big flop. The Hangover was different from Napoleon Dynamite. It was too vulgar.

But because they read the script and laughed out loud, they knew that Kazir's next movie had potential.

So these two actors decided to get their roles. They began to study the script.

"Ed, I recommend that you also read these scripts. The directors have invited you to audition."

John Harris, Ed Helms' agent, put the scripts on the table. They were currently staying in a hotel suite in Australia.

The crew would return to the US after this promotion. It was a tiring job, to be honest.

"I understand. However, if it conflicts with the filming of 'The Hangover', I will have to pass."

"Don't worry, I made sure that would never happen."

John Harris was actually the person who spoke to Carl Morin the last time. They were colleagues, working under the William Morris Agency.

'I can't believe Carl dropped a talented director like Kazir Grey. If I were him, I would keep the director.'

He sighed. All he could say was that Carl Morin had made the wrong decision in kicking Kazir Grey out of WMA.

"Okay. I need to eat more."

Because his character in 'The Hangover' was a dentist of average weight, Ed Helms ate more these days.

His role as Napoleon Dynamite was a skinny guy, so he had to gain more weight.

He took his job seriously.

"Ed, you need to make sure you're doing it right. I'll find a nutritionist when we get to the States."

John Harris secretly sighed. He knew there would be a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite. Ed Helms' weight would probably change drastically in the next two years.

"Hm."

Ed Helms nodded and stuffed another sandwich into his mouth.

[Author's note: Thanks to the readers who have reached this chapter. I appreciate your patience in reading my imperfect nonsense novel].

 

[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 43


1995 was an average year for Hollywood. Unlike two years ago when Universal Pictures released Jurassic Park, movies in 1995 didn't have a strong global impact.

Note that the worldwide box office for Jurassic Park was over $1 billion! It was a very difficult feat. Countries around the world have since realized the power of Hollywood.

Obviously, this kind of achievement was hard to replicate. Only the madman who destroyed a ship could topple this achievement.

The first movie on the global box office list this year was Die Hard: With Vengeance with $366 million worldwide.

Toy Story came in second with $365 million. The first computer animated film. The one that started the revolution in the animation industry.

Third on the list was 007: Goldeneye with $356 million. Obviously, James Bond was famous all over the world.

Fourth on the list was Pocahontas with $347 million.

Fifth was Batman Forever at $336 million.

Sixth was Apollo 13 with $335 million.

Seventh was Se7en. Pretty ironic, $328 million. After five months in theaters, the movie had earned more than $300 million worldwide. This amount would still go up. The statistics of Se7en continued to rise steadily.

The top 13 was Napoleon Dynamite with $210 million.

It surpassed Braveheart, which had 209 million dollars, to become the top 13 on the list. Unfortunately for Braveheart, it started to lose its edge after a few months. The movie was about Scotland and most people didn't know about William Wallace.

Although Braveheart could regain its popularity if it won an Oscar.

As for Napoleon Dynamite. Because of its genre, comedy, people believe that the movie would surpass $250 million in the next month.

"Fuck! Carl Morin! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

WMA vice-president Lawlor Dean shouted after throwing the documents at Carl Morin.

The WMA has two branches, one in New York and one in Los Angeles.

As one of the Vice Presidents assigned to Los Angeles, Vice President Lawlor Dean wanted to prove himself to the Chairman.

However, he could not believe that one of their former clients had become successful after leaving the WMA.

To make matters worse, it was a director!

Everyone knows that director and producer are the heart and brain of a film crew. They have the authority to choose the actors and actresses they want to participate in the movies.

A superstar director is much heavier than a superstar actor!

"Carl! Explain to me why Kazir Grey left our company! You fucking retard, you let a talented director like him leave WMA! What is wrong with you?"

Everyone would be angry.

Kazir's two movies made more than $500 million at the box office combined! In just one year! Of course, Vice President Lawlor Dean was furious.

"..."

Carl Morin kept his mouth shut. He just lowered his head and let the Vice President yell at him.

"Tell me! Tell me!!"

"S- Sir. You said Kazir didn't deserve William Morris because he spilled water on your suit."

Left with no choice, Carl Morin answered the question.

"Hah!? So you're putting the blame on me!? Are you crazy!? Answer me!"

"No, sir."

He gritted his teeth.

"This bastard... Directors are important."

Vice President Lawlor Dean sat down with a scowl on his face. Whenever he looked at the newspaper, his face crumpled because of the good news about Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite. He felt as if he had lost a diamond.

To make matters worse, Kazir Grey became a client of CAA! Their rival!

WMA and CAA have a lot of friction with each other. Especially now that CAA is getting stronger.

"I don't care what you do, I want Kazir Grey to come back to WMA as soon as possible. Give him a suitable contract, something that will entice him to jump to another agency."

"Yes sir."

Carl Morin walked out of the office with a dark face.

He was confused as well. He hadn't expected that Kazir actually had a talent for filming comedy.

'Had I known, I would have forced him to do comedy instead.'

Like Vice President Lawlor Dean, Carl Morin also regretted it.

If he had known that Kazir Grey would be successful, he would have hugged his legs tightly.

Unfortunately, he didn't know the future. Otherwise he would be a great agent with a talented director under him.

Carl Morin sighed and thought of a plan to convince Kazir to change agencies.

Anyone would kneel in front of money. Especially agents, these people have thick faces.

.........
......
...

"Congratulations Kazir!"

"David!"

"Cheers!"

David Fincher and Kazir clicked their wine glasses and laughed. They were both successful directors now!

They were being contacted by movie companies here and there.

"David, I thought 20th Century Fox had excommunicated you?"

They got invited by 20th Century Fox. Napoleon Dynamite was a huge success and the whole crew was there.

"20th Century Fox invited me because they are interested in my next movie."

If Kazir was right, David Fincher's next film was The Game, starring Michael Douglas.

"To be honest, I'm still not sure. New Line Cinema has been good to me these days.

David Fincher attended the banquet just to meet Kazir. He wanted to support his friend.

"So this woman is...?"

"Hi, I'm Reese Witherspoon. I'm Kazir's friend."

Reese Witherspoon was actually standing next to Kazir the whole time. She was his partner for tonight's banquet.

"I see, 'friend', huh?"

David grinned at Kazir.

Kazir just kept smiling. Reese introduced herself as his friend, so he could not deny it.

[Author's Note: There will be no update tomorrow.]

 

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Avinash B, Wai Yan B, and haze2343!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 44


There is a difference between a person who has just become famous and a superstar who has a billion-dollar movie franchise under his name.

Let's talk about those people.

James Cameron with The Terminator and Avatar.

Arnold Schwarzenegger with Terminator as well.

Steven Spielberg with Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones.

Michael Bay with his Transformers.

Tom Cruise and Mission: Impossible.

And so many more.

Any of these actors could have a fall from grace. However, they could easily return to their superstar status by using these franchises.

The best example is Tom Cruise. After dropping Pat Kingsley (his agent for two decades), Tom Cruise received a strong backlash from the media.

His Scientology scandal. His problems with his ex-wife Nicole Kidman and his divorce.

Tom Cruise hit rock bottom. The only thing that kept him relevant was his role as Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible.

Even James Cameron didn't have a project for almost ten years after Titanic. But he was still highly respected after the release of Avatar.

When Cameron's next movie came out, which was Avatar: The Way of the Water, James Cameron proved himself again.

'If there's anyone who can make a billion-dollar movie. It's definitely the tyrant director James Cameron.'

His last three movies together have grossed more than $6 billion. Those movies were Titanic, Avatar, and Avatar: The Way of the Water.

'I heard that he is building the ship right now...'

James Cameron wanted to film on a real cruise ship. He pushed 20th Century Fox and Paramount for more investment.

Titanic cost a whopping $200 million to make. For the 1990s, that amount of money was insane.

'All I want is a franchise that will keep me relevant.'

So he decided to start writing original screenplays. He wanted to do something big.

The last week of January.

Unlike the last time, when Kazir used a clunky typewriter to write his scripts, this time he used a laptop. He has the money to buy gadgets.

In fact, he decided to change his apartment. He now lived in a hotel near his studio company(Grey Pictures). Of course, he was only renting the apartment for a year.

His last apartment was too dangerous for him.

He earned more than 12 million dollars this year. Although he knew that taxes would come for him.

More than 30% of that amount would be eaten up by the government...

"Salvatore, how was it?"

Kazir heard his phone ring and answered it.

"Kazir, Paramount wants to work with you. $5 million salary, but they want to talk to you about the box office share."

"I understand. Set up a meeting tomorrow."

"Okay."

He ended the call.

"Hm... Taken, John Wick, and Fast and the Furious."

Those movies had small investments. Each one cost no more than $50 million to make.

"If the movie companies didn't want to support me in starting action movies, then I would..."

He closed his mouth.

.........
......
...

The next day came without a problem. Kazir and his agent, Salvatore Barlowe, walked into the Paramount Pictures' headquarters.

Paramount Pictures had Transformers and Mission: Impossible franchises. Although Tom Cruise had authority over the copyright of the Mission: Impossible.

In terms of strength, Paramount was the second weakest of the Big Six. Right next to Sony-Columbia.

Everyone knows that Sony-Columbia is the weakest of the Big Six. With only Spiderman as a profitable franchise.

"Kazir Grey. Haha, I can't believe I'm going to meet someone with the same last name as me!"

The person in front of Kazir was the CEO of Paramount Pictures.

His name is Brad Grey.

"I heard that your father is actually my third cousin, I guess we are related."

"Indeed."

Kazir kept his smile... He didn't know that. He just found out today. Besides, the relationship of being a third cousin was not that relevant at all.

As for why Brad Grey knew about it, Kazir didn't have an answer. Maybe he was researching his family tree or something.

"So, Kazir, I heard that you're fighting for a share of the box office. You didn't want to work with Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox. Because they gave you hard terms."

"That's right."

There was no need to lie. Everyone in Hollywood had heard that negotiations between Kazir Grey and the two film companies had broken down.

"If I give you an $8 million salary, will you stop asking about the box office share?"

"Sorry Brad, I still prefer the box office share."

"As expected. Are you that confident in your movie, or do you just want to tie your future to the movie?"

"Both."

"..."

Brad Grey stared at the man before him. He had two chances to work with this man, but the production management didn't bother notifying him.

It was too late when Brad Grey heard that Kazir had actually sent his scripts to Paramount.

"We both want to work together, so how about we take it slow?"

"I'm fine with that."

The two shook hands. The first negotiation went well. At least Paramount Pictures didn't have any negative reaction to sharing the box office.

'Maybe they wanted to get a movie with possible sequels.'

Brad Grey heard that Kazir was also working on a sequel to Napoleon Dynamite.

Paramount Pictures has only two big-budget films this year. They are Mission: Impossible and Star Trek.

Although Kazir wanted the copyrights to Mission: Impossible, Tom Cruise acquired the copyrights years ago.

He wanted to include it in his cinematic universe. Unfortunately, some things didn't go his way. He was only human after all.

"Then I'll see you again, Kazir. I hope our next meeting will be positive."

"I hope so."

They shook hands and ended the meeting. Both sides got to know the other's point of view, which was a good thing for both parties.


[Author's note: Some readers may be disappointed, but yes, there is a smut scene next (Chapter 44.1). Though it's only available on Patreon. I just have to say it].

 

[Pujimaki]

[Kudos to Vasyl Č, ryan k, Dave m, Huy G, and The Real Cacto]

Hollywood What If Chapter 45

"Sir, Kazir Grey met with CEO Brad Grey of Paramount Pictures yesterday. Not only that, but Salvatore Barlowe has also contacted Universal Pictures and Walt Disney."

As the producer that CEO Terry Semel entrusted to work on Kazir's next movie. Enrico Pusi took the job seriously.

"I see."

Terry Semel nodded after listening to his report. He already expected that Kazir would find another way to increase his chips.

Now that he had proven himself twice at the box office, most movie companies were interested in working with him.

Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite each crossed the $100 million mark at the North American box office.

Especially Napoleon Dynamite, it has a small investment. Yet its performance was much better than their Batman Forever.

Warner Bros was proud of its superhero characters like Batman and Superman. They are the faces of DC Comics. But the superhero trend was slowly weakening. Warner Bros need a new movie to freshen up.

Terry Semel read Kazir's script three times. The reason was simple, it was funny. He believed that The Hangover, if filmed correctly, would be a box office success.

"...Enrico, check the other companies. Our offer will be $5 million salary and 10% of the North American box office. But the box office should be over $100 million. Try to contact Salvatore and Kazir".

In the proposal, it was written that the investment cost of The Hangover would be 35 million. This amount was no problem for Warner Bros.

Unlike the budget of Batman Forever, which was $100 million, The Hangover was much easier to invest in.

"I understand."

Enrico left the room. Like Terry Semel, Enrico Pusi believed The Hangover would be a success. As one of the producers under Warner Bros, he wanted to take over the project.

If the movie was successful, his position would be better. He could become the head of production management.

Another week passed and it was already February. Kazir had already solved his money problems and bought a new car. A brand new Honda.

He didn't have the courage to spend more money on a car. Especially when he contacted an investment firm.

He gave the investment firm $5 million, almost half of his money, to invest in Microsoft, Cisco and Nokia. He remembered these three companies. He knew they would do well in the 1990s.

As for Google and Yahoo, these two companies were unknown this year. Yahoo had just been founded last year, while Google would be founded in 1998.

Even though Kazir knew the future of these companies, he didn't want to interfere in their management or become a shareholder. His passion was making movies.

He didn't know how these companies ran their businesses, so he was just going to invest.

He believed that his $5 million would multiply before the new century.

"Kazir, I have now contacted the other giants and they are interested in your movie. This is the list."

Kazir had just rented a floor in the building a few blocks from his apartment. So far, Grey Pictures has 10 employees.

Kazir hired his crew. Unfortunately, some of them were not confident in his future, so they were in a wait-and-see mode.

Kazir already gave the crew a bonus, so they left without a problem.

"Let's see..."

Kazir read the conditions one by one.

Universal: $6 million

Sony Columbia: $8 million

Touchstone (Walt Disney): $7 million.

Paramount: $5 million + 5% North American box office share

20th Century Fox: $5 million + 5% North American box office

Warner Bros: $5 million + 10% North American box office

Kazir smiled. His plan worked. At least he saw a company that was serious about working with him.

"Salvatore, what are Warner Bros' conditions?"

"They are hoping that you can release the movie in the summer schedule. The movie must gross over $100 million at the North American box office before you can get your 10% share."

"... Contact them. Tell them I want to work with them."

Kazir didn't want to wait any longer. Just like Warner Bros, he wanted to finish filming quickly and release the movie before the end of the summer.

So Kazir Grey and Warner Bros began their first collaboration.

Kazir signed the contract and the project officially began.

Warner Bros bought his script for $300 thousand and his salary as a director was $5 million.

He received the $300 thousand and $2.5 million first. To get the other half of his salary, he had to finish shooting.

"I hope we will have good cooperation, Kazir."

"I will do my best to make the movie a success."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Terry Semel and Kazir Grey shook hands. Since the contract was already signed, Warner Bros arranged for a public signing of the contract. They invited reporters.

This was common practice. Of course, the contract Kazir signed in front of the public was a fake.

The contract had been signed earlier. The contract was thick, and many conditions were written in it.

So the public signing of the contract was nothing but publicity.

"Director Grey, how do you feel about working with Warner Bros.?"

"I'm excited."

The reporters began to ask him questions. Fortunately, every reporter here was under Time Warner. They would not ask him anything controversial.

"Director, do you have any actors you would like to work with?"

"If I'm being honest. I would like to invite Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal. I already have experience working with them. I believe in their hard work."

He smiled and left the room after answering most of their questions. The flashing cameras were blinding.

After that, he contacted his crew and officially started the preparations. Of course, everything had to be taken seriously.

Editing the script, preparing the props, checking the locations, and so on.

Perhaps the most important part of pre-production was auditioning for the roles.

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[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 46

[Author's note: I was gone for almost three weeks, so I didn't able to update on Scribblehub and other platforms. However, I'm still posting on Patreon, so the chapters are a bit backlogged there. Anyway, I will post 12 chapters this week to make up for it. Two times a day].

There are reasons why Kazir decided to audition Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal for the movie The Hangover.

First, he worked with them and they had a great working relationship. The two actors were serious about their work.

The second thing is money. The salary for each of them will never exceed 2 million dollars. Ed Helms just became famous recently and asking for an astronomical amount was a sure way to end his career.

'Maybe he can ask for 2.5 million dollars. But more than that could be a problem. I hope his agent understands that.'

Usually it is the agents who negotiate with the movie companies. Actors would never show their faces before everything is settled.

The third reason for inviting them was that both of them would have successful careers in the future. At least their faces were known. So Kazir was confident in their talents.

These three are the main reasons why he wanted Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal to be in The Hangover.

The other reason is that they respect Kazir.

As the director of the movie, his position has to be firm. He didn't like anyone questioning his authority, that's not how it works.

"It's nice working with you, Enrico."

"Glad to hear it."

Enrico Pusi and Kazir Grey shook hands.

Their first meeting was indeed memorable. Because Enrico Pusi was the one who accepted his script. Of course, Enrico Pusi didn't cooperate with him at that time.

Se7en was too gruesome and Enrico felt that the movie would never be successful at the box office. Besides, an unknown director like Kazir wanted to direct the movie.

'Who would have thought that Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite would be at the top of last year's box office list.'

Enrico sighed in his heart.

The second week of February 1996, Se7en was released in North American theaters. It has a box office of $202 million.

So far, the worldwide box office of the movie was more than 400 million dollars! This amount was enough to say that the movie was successful.

Let's not even talk about Napoleon Dynamite, which has a worldwide box office of $250 million.

'I hope his next movie will have more than 100 million dollars... I will have a small share if the movie exceeds that amount.'

Of course, producers are rich people. Some of them can make more than 100 million dollars a year. Jerry Bruckheimer, Jeffrey Katzenberg and George Lucas were famous/rich producers.

"Now, let's start our audition."

The two smiled. They acted like brothers.

.........

......

...

"I'll take the role, I'll take the role..."

A fat man kept talking to himself in front of the mirror. Maybe he wanted to convinc himself.

The person in front of the mirror was Jack Black.

He was 27 years old this year. He started his career as an actor in 1992 in a movie called Bon Roberts... He was not famous.

He had a role in Demolition Man with Wesley Snipes and Sylvester Stallone. It was a small role.

He also had a part in Dead Man Walking. But it was a small part again.

He also had a part in Waterworld... But his scenes were cut so nobody knew about it.

Three days ago, his agent told him that a new project invited him to audition. It was The Hangover.

Jack Black left the bathroom and sat down in the waiting area outside the audition room. He saw a lot of actors sitting everywhere.

Every one of them was an enemy. They were ready to tear each other's faces off to get the role...

Unlike the other famous actors, Jack Black didn't have a full copy of the script. He only has half. However, he was able to see that his role was an important part of the movie.

He was lucky enough to make it to the final round of auditions. Auditions usually have three rounds.

The first was to see if the actor/actress matched the look of the character.

The second was to check their acting talent.

The last was when the producer and director would attend the audition to hire the best ones.

Obviously, Ed Helms and Pedro Pascal, who has a connection with director Grey, easily passed the two rounds.

If Black Jack got the part, his path to stardom would be clearer. He looked around and saw Ed Helms reading the script.

Because of the success of Napoleon Dynamite, the unknown actor became one of the known actors in Hollywood.

In one movie, Ed Helms' career became so bright.

"Next, number 13, Jack Black."

"Yes! That's me!"

Jack Black walked into the room and found a camera.

"Good morning, Mr. Jack Black."

"Hello, Director Grey." He nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, you're one of the actors who has the privilege of reading the script. So I think you have an idea of your role."

"That's right."

"You can choose which scenes you want to use for the audition.

"Then... I chose the one where Alan met the tiger for the first time."

"Okay."

Kazir nodded. That scene was actually one of the funniest parts of the movie.

Acting like a man who just woke up after a night of drinking, Jack Black walked into the imaginary bathroom... His eyes widened. He quickly ran out of the bathroom screaming "There's a tiger in the bathroom, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom" after accidentally kicking Phil's balls...

Kazir Grey and Enrico Pusi were watching the audition seriously. It was a funny scene, but they have to maintain their seriousness.

Renner recorded Jack Black's audition to review later. That was why there was always a camera in the audition room.

"Thank you, Mr. Jack Black. You can go now."

"Thank you, director."

Jack Black didn't know if he passed the audition. The producer's and director's expressions were too stern. He swallowed hard and left the room confused.

"He'll get the part."

After Jack Black left the audition room, Kazir gave his verdict.

"Well, of all the actors who auditioned for Alan's role, Black Jack fits the part."

Enrico Pusi had no problem.

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[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Dave, Warslide, DragonEz, and Nikola N!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 47


"So I guess this is our cast."

Producer Enrico Pusi read out the actors who had passed the audition. He looked at director Grey who was tapping his fingers on the table.

To be honest, most of the important roles in the movie were taken by Kazir's acquaintances.

Well, that was the way Hollywood worked. Directors like to hire actors they know and work with.

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

David Fincher and Brad Pitt.

Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Christopher Nolan and Michael Caine.

Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks.

And so many more.

Let's just say that directors like to work with someone they can trust.

It was a known fact.

Of course, producer Enrico Pusi tried to include some of his acquaintances in the film.

Both of them understand that this is the way Hollywood works. As long as the actors and actresses fit the roles and their acting is good, they would agree to hire them.

"Enrico, I hope the actors can sign the contract as soon as possible. I want to start filming in a month."

"I understand."

The movie didn't need serious tone. The mission of The Hangover was to make the audience laugh.

As long as the audience laughs, the movie is half successful.

'You just have to make that half successful into a profitable half. As long as people see the movie and make money, that's all that matters. '

"That's my job."

Producers were usually the ones who would negotiate with actors for salary. More precisely, the producer would talk to the agents. Then the day of war would officially begin.

Fortunately, all the actors were small time. Only Ed Helms was the hardest to convince. With the success of Napoleon Dynamite, Ed Helms' agent would definitely ask for more than a million.

"That's good to hear. Now, if you will excuse me. I have a party to go to."

Kazir was invited to Tom Cruise's party.

To be honest, he didn't know why he was invited. He had only a few interactions with the famous actor. In fact, he was not even sure if Tom Cruise remembered him. After all, Kazir was just a crew helper at the time.

The audition was officially over and the crew had the list of actors they wanted to hire. Of course, they also have replacement actors.

For example, if Ed Helms didn't agree to the salary and turned the role down, producer Enrico Pusi and director Kazir Grey could hire their second choice instead.

After all, there is no such thing as irreplaceable in Hollywood.

People say that Robert Downey Jr. is the only Iron Man. But everyone knows that the reason he became Iron Man was because Tom Cruise turned the role down. So basically, the first choice for the role of Tony Stark was none other than Tom Cruise.

"No one else is calling?"

Jack Black leaned back in his chair holding a bottle of beer. He had just finished his audition and decided to have a drink after a hard day.

The audition has so many actors. It was a very stressful moment, especially for an unknown actor like him.

"No, there's no call..."

His agent was sitting next to him. They were both nervous. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Jack Black had been personally invited to the audition. So they believed his chances of getting the part were high.

His part was one of the three main characters! Of course he was nervous.

That was why they were drinking, to relieve their nervousness. Because the stress is killing them right now.

Suddenly, the agent's phone rang.

They both jumped in surprise. The agent answered the phone and kept saying "yes, yes, yes".

Jack Black listened next to him.

When the call ended, they paused and looked at each other.

"... You can have the part, but they can only offer you 25 thousand dollars."

"We both know the answer."

Fuck the salary.

What they need is the opportunity.

Besides, they didn't have the ability to negotiate the salary.

If the agent tried to negotiate, the producer would probably choose another actor with a lower salary. It was that simple.

"Don't worry, I already said that you agree. You can't refuse it now."

"As if I would turn it down."

"We'll go to Warner Bros tomorrow and sign the contract."

The two started laughing and ordered two more bottles of alcohol.

Like Jack Black, the other actors who got the roles celebrated.

Even Ed Helms sighed with relief. He knew his position was precarious. One wrong move and he could fall and his career. He received a few invitations, but decided to work with Kazir again. As the director who made him famous, Ed Helms trusts him.

... As for the salary, his agent would be responsible for that. This was Ed Helms' first time acting in a $35 million movie.

While dozens of actors were celebrating, Kazir arrived at Tom Cruise's party in Beverly Hills.

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were still married that year. They were still living "happily ever after".

"Good evening, Kazir Grey."

"Hello, Mr. Cruise. Hello, Mrs. Cruise."

As the hosts of this party, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman Cruise greeted the attendees.

"I can't believe that the young guy I met on the set of Rain Man is now a successful director. Congratulations Kazir!"

"Tom, I can't believe you remember me."

Kazir was happy to know that a superstar like Tom Cruise remembered him.

"To be honest, I still remember your face. We had a conversation back then. You said you wanted to become a director. I thought you had already given up. But when I heard about Napoleon Dynamite and saw your face in the newspaper, I suddenly remembered our conversation."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Kazir could tell that Tom Cruise was not lying.

Kazir Grey was a helper on the crew of Rain Man. It was his first job after leaving his father's house.

It was then that Kazir had a conversation with Tom Cruise. After the success of Top Gun, Tom Cruise became one of the most famous actors in Hollywood.

But Tom Cruise had the patience to listen to Kazir, a young delusional.

A young man who believed that he would become a famous director without knowing anything about the industry was delusional. Even Tom Cruise believed it.

But who would have thought that the man he talked to in 1988 would actually make his dream come true?

So Tom Cruise decided to invite Kazir Grey to his party. He was interested in the man.

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[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 48


The party was nice. Kazir chatted with Tom Cruise. He realized that the actor was not bad at all. At least he was different from what he thought.

Since Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman Cruise were the hosts of the party, they had to talk to every attendant. So their conversation ended quickly.

At least their first meeting was positive.

'Tom Cruise is shooting Mission: Impossible this year.'

He was not sure if the movie had already started shooting. But he had heard that the project had already been approved by Paramount.

CEO Brad Grey of Paramount might be salty right now because Kazir decided to work with Warner Bros.

Well, Warner Bros' offer was very sincere, so Kazir naturally chose them.

"Hey, who's that guy?"

Since Nicole Kidman is Australian, she invited her compatriots to the party.

Mel Gibson asked Russell Crowe next to him. Mel Gibson is an Australian who starred in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon.

He was also the star, director and producer of Braveheart. That's right, he made and starred in his own movie.

That's a tough job.

"Him? I think he is Kazir Grey."

Russell Crowe was not sure.

The man just stood in the corner and looked around. He made no impression, as if he was just an air. Kazir Grey was like a man watching a movie, he was not there at all.

"So that's Kazir Grey..."

Mel Gibson raised his eyebrow as he heard an interesting piece of information.

"Mel, you are clearly drunk. Don't do anything you'll regret."

Russell Crowe reminded him. They are both Australians and their circle in Hollywood is not that strong.

At least not enough to stand up to the power of the Jewish circle.

"Don't worry Russell, I'm sober."

He laughed and approached the man.

His movie had been beaten by Napoleon Dynamite on the annual box office list.

He wanted to know what kind of person the director was.

As an actor who wants to become a director, Mel Gibson wanted to hear Kazir's opinion.

"Hello, Kazir Grey."

"Good evening, Mr. Gibson."

"No, just call me Mel."

Mel Gibson has a slight Australian accent when he speaks. Perhaps the alcohol has awakened his mother's tongue.

"Kazir, congratulations on the success of Napoleon Dynamite."

"Thank you. It's an honor to be recognized by someone like you."

As an unknown director, Kazir was happy that the famous Mel Gibson knew him.

In fact, Mel Gibson was surprised by his reaction. He thought Kazir was going to be arrogant.

Suddenly he felt sorry for himself. He talked to the man for a few minutes before leaving.

"How was it?"

Russell asked curiously. As an actor, having a good relationship with directors was the best thing.

"Modest..."

"Hm?"

"He's too humble."

How can he lash out at a person who keeps saying he is a fan?

Kazir began to list all the movies Mel Gibson had starred in. It was impossible to be angry in front of a man like Kazir.

"I see. Then he's not so bad."

"..."

Mel Gibson didn't answer. He was still bitter that his movie was much worse than a comedy.

His only chance was the Oscar.

That was one of the reasons why he came to this party. To make connections and ask people to vote for his movie.

Kazir also said that Mel Gibson would win the Best Director Oscar. While Braveheart would win Best Picture!

This sentence completely changed his opinion about the guy.

Ashamed of himself, Mel Gibson excused himself and left with a blushing face.

How could he hate someone like that? Probably never.

While Kazir enjoyed his champagne, the others looked at him.

"Nicole, you mean this guy is the director of Napoleon Dynamite?"

Naomi Watts asked Nicole Kidman Cruise.

"That's right. I'm actually surprised that Tom know him. Apparently, Kazir is a crew member on Rain Man." Nicole nodded.

Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman are known to be friends. They are also both Australians.

"..."

Naomi kept looking at the man. To be honest, she found him attractive.

Kazir had a fit body, tall and buff. He is also handsome.

From the looks of him, he is the type who takes care of his body. Definitely a plus for Naomi.

In the end, Naomi bit her lip and approached him. Unlike Australia, where she is famous, Hollywood is a battlefield. It's hard for her to get big roles.

"Hi, I'm Naomi Watts."

"I'm Kazir Grey. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Watts."

"You can call me Naomi. I heard you're a director." Naomi tucked her hair behind her ear.

She is a beautiful woman. One of so many men's fantasies.

And right now she is talking to Kazir Grey.

"That's right. I'm the director of Napoleon Dynamite."

There was no reason to keep it a secret. This is a circle, and everyone knows everyone.

"I see. Would you mind telling me about yourself?"

"Well, I come from a broken family. Raised by my father."

Kazir didn't know where to start, so he decided to talk about his family. He realized later that his introduction was quite troubling.

"That's sad to hear."

Naomi showed her acting by expressing that she was sad.

As for the other women, they clicked their tongues when they realized that Naomi Watts was talking to Kazir.

Most of these women are actresses.

Every one of them understands that the fastest way to stardom is to have a relationship with a successful director/producer.

Of everyone at the party, Kazir Grey is the most calm and collected. He is handsome and talented. Considering that two of his films have grossed over $100 million at the North American box office.

They were glaring daggers at Naomi Watts, but the woman didn't care.

This is Hollywood. The competition for women is much more deadly than for men. They will smile at each other, but each of them knows how badly they want to rip each other's faces off.

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[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to rishi p, kemekiskandar, Elton F, Oluwatimileyin O, and S. D.!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 49


Naomi Watts, currently 28 years old. She is a famous actress. Born in UK, but has lived most of her life in Australia and became an actress there. Although her fame in Australia is nothing compared to Hollywood.

Naomi Watts tried many things to break through the market. But so far she has achieved nothing.

'I need a breaking point to reach stardom.'

Because she is a friend of Mrs. Cruise, Naomi Watts used this connection to audition for many roles.

She's been in Hollywood since the early 90s, but she wasn't famous. To be clear, Naomi Watts was trying to find a way to succeed in the vanity fair that is Hollywood.

Unlike Nicole Kidman, who married Tom Cruise and became famous easily, Naomi Watts' career path was bumpy.

But the man before her was different.

Kazir Grey, because of his movies that have more than $100 million North American box office, his name began to get more attraction.

To be honest, Kazir's status was not that dazzling, but Naomi Watts was willing to do anything just to be a star, even a director who had only recently become known.

Kazir also made Ed Helms a star with Napoleon Dynamite. She hoped that she could be like Ed Helms.

Directors are also known for making stars.

So obviously Naomi Watts wanted to ride the wave to the top. Simple as that.

She smiled as she noticed the women staring at her. She liked the attention. She liked that she had made the first move and caught Kazir Grey's attention.

"Kazir, I'm interested in your film. How about we go somewhere quiet and talk about it?"

She whispered, leaning slightly closer to Kazir.

The woman was clearly showing signs.

As for Kazir...

'Naomi Watts. A very beautiful woman. I think she became famous after Mulholland Drive. Then she starred in King Kong as the muse of the giant gorilla.'

Her beauty is impeccable... He could see her cleavage because the woman was leaning towards him.

Kazir smiled and held out his hand.

"Shall we go to the garden?"

"That's good to hear."

Naomi Watts' lips twitched. But being an actress, she knows how to control her expression.

She thought the man would ask her to leave the party and take her somewhere quiet. Like a hotel or his house.

But Kazir took her to the garden instead. She was disappointed. Especially since she liked the man.

Kazir is handsome and fit. He looks like an action star with a stature of more than 6 feet tall.

The reason Kazir didn't invite Naomi to a quiet place was simple. He knew what was going on.

He likes Naomi Watts. Kazir didn't have a problem with her. But he was recently divorced and didn't want to get involved with a lot of women.

He also respects Reese Witherspoon. He didn't want to do something behind her back, even though their relationship was platonic.

Mind over dick.

The garden was well lit. There were people in the garden, but it was not crowded, unlike the ballroom.

Kazir Grey and Naomi Watts were having a nice conversation. The man is witty and he knows how to entertain a man.

'When he talks about filmmaking, he looks like a child excited to share his hobby.'

She found him childlike and she liked it.

"You're a funny man, Kazir."

"Is that so?"

She smiled and twirled her wine glass.

"So, Kazir... I hear you're starting a project. Do you have a suitable role for me?"

"I'm sorry Naomi, we already have a list of actresses who passed the audition. My movie only has small scenes with women. It's not worthy of a beautiful woman like you."

"..."

She didn't know what to say. Praised and rejected at the same time, she felt something strange in her heart.

Suddenly she wondered what Kazir's face would be like if she seduced him into the bedroom. She licked her lips at the thought.

Unfortunately, their interaction ended when a person interrupted them.

"Kazir, I am so happy to meet you!"

A man with short brown hair entered their sight. The man was smiling, and he seemed to be a close friend of Kazir's.

"Congratulations, Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite are a big hit!"

"Carl..."

Kazir Grey looked at the agent who had dropped him after the end of the contract.

"Hehe, that woman is...?"

"She's Naomi Watts. Naomi, this is Carl Morin. He is an agent from WMA."

"I see... Let's talk next time, Kazir. It's nice meeting you."

Naomi Watts is a smart woman. She sensed there was something going on between Kazir and Carl.

She was a client of WMA and she wanted to keep her contract. So she didn't dare disturb them. She didn't have the ability to stand up to a strong agency like WMA.

"The pleasure is mine." Kazir nodded and let the woman go.

"Kazir, I heard CAA signed you."

Once Naomi Watts was gone, Carl Morin started talking to Kazir about his intentions.

"That's right. A man named Salvatore Barlowe contacted me and I signed a deal with him."

"I see."

Carl Morin smiled, but he actually cursed this Salvatore Barlowe.

'I don't know who the hell this Agent Salvatore Barlowe is, but he is clearly a newbie in this game.'

"Carl, why do you want to talk to me?"

"Haha, of course I want to talk to you. We are friends."

"We are not friends," Kazir replied sternly.

This agent kicked him out of the WMA after he accidentally dropped a tiny amount of water on the Vice President's suit. He actually apologized, but the end was expected. He was blacklisted in the WMA.

Maybe even now the WMA hasn't removed his name from the list.

"... Well," Carl cleared his throat after realizing that Kazir was not joking.

"Kazir, sign a contract with me. I promise you I can treat you better than CAA. William Morris is willing to put resources into you. I assure you of that. WMA can influence the film companies and your movies will get better deals."

Kazir didn't flinch, even though Carl was being sincere. As far as sincerity went, Salvatore Barlowe was much better.

What WMA can do, CAA can do.

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[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 50


"Kazir, we worked together for three years. You know what I can do. The connection I have. The opportunities I can give you!"

Carl Morin began to feel confident as he watched Kazir listen to him. He believed in his abilities.

Compared to the unknown agent Salvatore Barlowe, Carl Morin believed he could take Kazir to a higher level.

"..."

But Kazir kept his mouth shut and stared at him. He didn't bother to talk to Carl Morin and let the agent waste his saliva.

"Kazir. You know that your first three movies happened because of me. You know how I contacted so many people just for you."

In fact, Carl Morin was one of the main reasons why he became a director and made three horror movies.

But it was impossible to forget how Carl Morin betrayed Kazir.

"I heard you signed a contract with a young director from Hong Kong?"

"T- that's right. Leon Lau has potential. I saw his experimental movie and it's good."

Carl Morin knew Kazir's intention in talking about his new signed director. But Carl Morin was too stubborn to tell the truth.

"Well, if you think he's talented, why don't you put all your resources into him instead of me? I'm sure he'll be happy." Kazir said.

"... Anyway, Kazir. I promise you that the WMA will be your strongest supporter."

Carl Morin was already sweating after spitting.

"..."

But Kazir Grey just stared at him.

Left with no choice, Carl Morin gritted his teeth and used his last card.

"7% commission! As long as you signed a contract with me, I promise you that my commission will only be 7%!"

"What about breach of contract?"

"WMA will cover any damages."

"Looks like you planned this seriously." Kazir touched his chin.

"Of course. Can't you see the sincerity of the WMA? Kazir, we want you back. Don't forget your promise to become one of the most sought-after directors in Hollywood!"

Kazir didn't forget his promise. In fact, he did his best to make this dream come true.

Unfortunately, Kazir was not interested in signing a contract with Carl Morin. Especially after what he had done to him.

"I'm sorry Carl, I'm not changing my agency. Even though my time at CAA is short, CAA has been so good to me."

"That... 5 percent! Kazir, I think you will be tempted by that kind of deal! 5% commission. That's the lowest I can offer you."

Carl Morin felt like he was bleeding inside as he spoke. 5% commission was a very good deal. He was basically cutting off his livelihood.

He stared at Kazir, hoping for a positive reaction.

Unfortunately, Kazir didn't react. He just stared at Carl Morin without any emotion.

"Sorry, Carl, Salvatore Barlowe offered 3% commission. I don't think you can do that."

"What?"

Carl Morin was stunned.

'3% commission? How can an agent do that? Salvatore Barlowe thinks Kazir Grey is worth that condition? This is insanity!'

The sweaty agent cursed. He could not believe that an agent would offer something so great.

He would understand if Salvatore was trying to lure Steven Spielberg or James Cameron. But Kazir Grey was just a lucky director. He had no substantial power to prove that he was worth a 3% commission.

"...I understand," Carl Morin felt as if his molars were bleeding.

He clenched his fists and said...

"3% commission! If Salvatore Barlowe can do it, so can I!"

He roared and the other guests looked at him.

"Sorry Carl, I trust Salvatore more than you."

Kazir shook his head and started to walk away.

Carl Morin realized something.

"W-wait a minute Kazir! Did you just let me talk and waste my time when you will reject me from the beginning?"

He glared at Kazir. He felt like he was being played. He was humiliated.

"That's right. Unlike Salvatore Barlowe, you are much more stubborn. I know you will keep talking just to convince me."

"You bastard! Who do you think you are? Kazir Grey, you better remember the reason why you reached your position! Without me, you will never become a director! I paved the way for you!"

Carl Morin's face was red as a tomato. He was angry that the man in front of him disregarded him after all he had done to help him achieve his status.

"I can't deny it. You really helped me for three years. However, I know that you've also been fucking my ex-wife for three years."

"T-that's!"

"I know that. So you don't have to say anything. Carl Morin, it's your own fault that you dumped me after the contract ended. I don't owe you anything."

Kazir left Carl Morin stunned.

The agent thought he was being discreet about his relationship with Cassandra. But it seemed that Kazir already knew.

He had been played to the point of humiliation.

Kazir Grey had actually found out in his past life.

In his past life, after the divorce settlement, Cassandra said that she was also fucking Carl Morin. Just to rub salt in the wound, the bitch didn't hesitate to hurt him.

Fortunately, Kazir had already moved on and didn't care about Carl and Cassandra. They can live their lives all they want, but Kazir didn't have anything to do with them.

That's right, Cassandra is betraying two people. She's for the street.

Kazir left the party unrepentant. In fact, he slept better that night. He felt as if everything that bound him was gone.

Unlike Carl Morin, Salvatore was much more passionate about his work. The agent was constantly contacting people to join Kazir's crew. Heck, the agent even helped out with odd jobs. Perhaps Salvatore Barlowe was grateful because Kazir hired one of his clients, Hae-Won Park.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 51


"Sigh..."

Producer Enrico Pusi entered the room in a bad mood. He sat down next to Kazir, who was redrawing his storyboard.

As a director, Kazir has a considerable talent for drawing. He had already finished the storyboard. He was just polishing it. So that once the shooting started, he would never waste time on experimental shots.

Especially when the project signed an insurance contract with Merrill Lynch. He knew how pesky the insurance company was. As much as possible, they would do their best to keep the production costs within the quota.

Sometimes directors hate insurance companies because they stifle their creativity.

Perhaps one of the directors the insurance company hated was James Cameron. This man would never hesitate to overspend just to get the best shots.

"Sigh..."

"Why are you sighing?"

Because of their positions, the two need to have clear communication. So they talk to each other almost every day to make sure the project runs smoothly.

The job of a producer in general was to oversee the production process in film, television, or other commercial productions. This includes organizing, managing, and overseeing every single phase and aspect, including talent, creative team, deadlines, executives, and finances.

To be honest, their job was much more tedious than that of the director. So having a talented producer who could control the entire project was an important part.

"We have problems with Ed Helms' salary."

Enrico Pusi talked to Ed Helms' agent for the second time, and the result wasn't good.

"Are they still asking for an extravagant amount?"

"$5 million. Hell, even Brad Pitt didn't make that much when he was in Se7en!"

Kazir just shrugged as he listened to his producer's grumbling.

The more time he spent with Enrico, the more he realized that he was serious about his job. He had worse eye bags than Kazir right now.

'Maybe he wants to use The Hangover as a springboard for his career.'

It was not a bad intention. Everyone has his own motives.

'At least he thinks The Hangover will be successful.'

"I don't understand why they do that. Everybody knows Ed Helms is not that famous. Why are they asking for the impossible?"

So far, only Napoleon Dynamite has been Ed Helms' biggest role. In fact, most of the success came from Kazir, who directed the movie. He had a good vision of what he wanted to make.

Kazir just listened. He didn't bother to explain why this situation happened.

'It's probably because I rejected the "sincerity" of the WMA. That didn't sit well with them, so they're trying to kick me in another way.'

However, both sides understood that this was not the right thing to do.

Kazir was able to find another actor to play Stu. He didn't have to be so attached to Ed Helms.

WMA also understood it. If they tried to play tough, Ed Helms would lose this project. If things got worse, Ed Helms might jump to another agency. Because WMA kept messing with his decision.

"Enrico, I suggest you tell them that Ed Helms is not our first choice. We have a lot of actors to choose from."

"But I thought you wanted to hire Ed Helms?"

"Let's not kid ourselves. Yes, I want him to work with me again. But I put the project ahead of him. I think WMA and Ed Helms understand that, too."

Kazir said while drawing the scene where Mike Tyson hits Alan.

'Speaking of Mike Tyson, the legendary boxer was released from prison last year. '

Mike Tyson is a different animal after his time in jail.

If there's one person who can kill a person with one punch, it's probably Mike Tyson.

Fortunately, Enrico Pusi convinced Mike Tyson to make a cameo in the movie.

Enrico told them that they could use the movie to promote Mike Tyson's fight against Bruce Seldon.

Like movies, boxing fights need promotion.

"I am going to talk to Ed Helms tomorrow. I will tell him that 1.5 million is the best I can offer. If they don't agree, we'll find another actor. By the way, can you recommend anyone?"

"Hm...? I think there's an actor who auditioned for the role of Stu and made it to the third round. If I'm not mistaken, his name is Steve Carell. We can contact him if the negotiations with Ed Helms don't work out."

"Okay... Are you really sure you want to keep the movie R-rated?I know the pervasive language and some sexual content is a must in this kind of movie, but why don't you tone it down?"

"Enrico, we have already discussed this with Terry Semel. We both agree that the movie will lose its power if we keep it PG-13."

Kazir stopped what he was doing and stared into Enrico's eyes.

Like most directors, Kazir didn't like it when someone tried to stifle his creativity.

He wanted to make the movie as close to the original as possible. So making it PG-13 would be disastrous.

"O- Okay. I will never talk about it again."

Enrico Pusi realized that he was overstepping his bounds. He knew so many directors who would fight the producers just to keep control of the filming.

So far, his relationship with Kazir had been good, and he wanted to keep it that way. He believed this would not be the last time he worked with Kazir.

He sighed and left the room after telling him his problem with Ed Helms' salary.

"Oh, before I leave, Nokia has agreed to sponsor the movie. They would pay us $1 million initially. Once the movie makes over $100 million at the North American box office, they will pay us another $1 million."

"What about the global box office? Do they have conditions?"

"We are still negotiating. But we already have an agreement that they will sponsor the movie."

"That's good to hear."

Just like that, the $35 million budget of The Hangover made back $1 million. Product placement is one way to recoup your investment.

'This does not mean that it is easy to get $2 million. The box office of "The Hangover" has to reach a certain number.'

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[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 52


There are many reasons why movie companies like PG-13 movies.

Movies can sell more tickets if they are rated PG-13 or lower. Families prefer to see a movie that their children can enjoy.

This was one of the reasons why Disney became the strongest movie company for the next three decades. They used this advantage to take over their competitors.

Some Warner Bros shareholders hope that The Hangover will be rated PG-13. Because it would be more profitable.

Of course, R-rated can be profitable too. Se7en, which was just released in North America, made more than $400 million worldwide. That was a huge profit for a R-Rated thriller suspense film.

But The Hangover was not a thriller suspense, it was a comedy. So they hoped to convince Kazir Grey to change the script.

Unfortunately, Kazir Grey was firm in his decision. It was written in the contract that he had full authority over the creation of The Hangover. Even the right to edit was his alone.

So they decided to keep their mouths shut and let Kazir do his job.

"John, are you sure about this?"

Ed Helms had a complicated look on his face as he looked at his agent.

"Ed, the WMA wants the best for you. Can't you see that? If they agree to $3 million, that will be your salary."

John and Enrico negotiated the salary down to 3 million dollars. But Enrico was still not satisfied. He felt that hiring Ed Helms for that amount of money was not worth it.

"..."

Ed Helms felt that 3 million dollars was a good amount. But he knew damn well that he was not worth that amount. At least not now.

As for his agent, John Harris, the agent wanted to fight for a higher salary. After all, 10% of that amount would be his commission.

"I understand. But I can agree with 1.5 million, you don't have to fight for more. I don't want to interfere with the shooting schedule of the movie."

Two weeks were left before shooting officially began.

Except for Ed Helms, all the actors had already signed contracts.

"Alright."

To be honest, John Harris didn't know why WMA was asking him to make trouble for the project.

Still, it was an order from the top. He had to carry it out.

'Of course I want Ed to be in the cast. But I'm looking for more money. That's my duty as an agent.'

He was not wrong... Agents are known in the industry as leeches. They will demand a higher salary, which will also increase the production cost.

In fact, the main reason for the increase in production costs was the actors' salaries.

While agent John Harris and producer Enrico Pusi were engaged in a tug of war, Salvatore Barlowe went to Kazir's office.

Since Kazir had started a studio company that was currently shooting The Hangover, Kazir spent most of his time in the office polishing the script and storyboard.

He didn't even go back to his apartment that week. He slept and ate at his office. It was almost as if his office was his bedroom.

When Salvatore entered the office, he was surprised to find so much rubbish on the floor.

'Dozens of sketches and many cup noddles... This is a terrible scene. '

'I know that some creative people are like this, but it's still a sight to see,' Salvatore thought.

He found Kazir tapping away at his keyboard.

"How was it?"

"I got it."

"Phew, that's good to hear. I thought it would take a while."

"Well, Alan Shayne Productions wanted to sell it for $3 million, so I didn't hesitate. You said that this copyright is important."

Salvatore Barlowe placed the documents on the table.

Kazir read only a few words

"Bourne Identity."

After realizing that Tom Cruise had bought the film version of Mission: Impossible, Kazir decided to buy the Bourne franchise before it was too late.

'No one thinks this movie is going to be a huge success.'

"Kazir, I can't think of any reason why you would want to buy the rights to adapt this novel. A 3 million dollars at that. Do you want to make an action movie?"

Alan Shayne Productions bought the film rights of The Bourne Identity in the 80s. They even made a TV movie, but it didn't end well.

Since then, the movie rights of Bourne Identity stayed in their film libraries for many years.

Bourne Identity is actually a famous novel from the 80s. It's one of the founders of the spy novel.

But because novels and comics are losing their power after digitalization, many people have already forgotten about the Bourne Identity.

"That's right. If things go well, maybe I can do an action movie next year. I've been dreaming about doing an action movie all my life."

"... Are you sure you can do it?"

Salvatore was skeptical. As his agent, Salvatore hoped Kazir would stay in his comfort zone.

Shooting a comedy and an action movie is very different. An action film is much more complicated.

"Don't worry, Salvatore, I'm not going to do The Bourne Identity for the next three years. I have something to experiment with"

Of all the scripts he had written, one had a very small budget. He was confident that he could make it with his own money... If he had to.

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

From the moment he first spoke with Kazir, Salvatore knew that Kazir was impossible to control.

Well, not that he complained.

3% of the $2.5 million Kazir received went into his pocket.

It might look small, but it was only the beginning. He knew he would get more from Kazir.

In fact, because of his connection to Director Grey, Salvatore was able to get his client a role.

This was exactly why agents like to have a director under them. Because their actors would always have a job.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 53


The next day, producer Enrico Pusi and agent John Harris began the negotiations.

They spent two hours wasting their spit just to get an agreement.

In the end, Ed Helms' salary was $1.7 million. It was a large amount, to be honest. A person who can make more than $1 million a year is considered part of the 10%.

That's right.

According to a YouGov survey from January 2022, America believe that ten percent of households in their country have an annual income of more than $1 million. That's the privileged class.

Ed Helms breathed a sigh of relief when his agent told him he got the part. Plus, his salary was a whopping $1.7 million.

But he would only get half of that first. This was usually written into the contract to ensure that the actor would finish the filming.

If the contract was broken, the actor had to pay damages. In the case of Ed Helms, he promised to finish the filming without any problems.

As for the WMA's intention to make Kazir's job difficult, they didn't have too much influence on the project.

As long as Ed Helms wanted to join the crew, the WMA didn't have the power to stop him. Even John Harris wanted Ed Helms to get the role. Well, at least they agreed on a good salary. It was worth the risk.

"What do you think?"

Salvatore asked Kazir as they watched Hae-Won Park's stunt routine. The half-Korean actor knew how to do action stunts.

Most of the crew was hired by Salvatore Barlowe. CAA also hires other crew members such as makeup artists and cinematographers.

So most of the crew came from CAA.

Kazir was impressed. Within a month, his small crew of fifteen became forty. The process was very fast.

Salvatore found the right people to fill the positions. Especially Hae-Won Park, this guy actually knows Kung Fu.

"So Hae-Won Park really knows Kung Fu?"

"Ah, no. To be precise, Hae-Won Park is a fifth dan black belt Taekwondo practitioner."

"Impressive."

Kazir didn't know what fifth dan meant. But he knew that Black Belt in Taekwondo was a high level.

Judging by Hae-Won Park's movement, the man clearly knew what he was doing.

"Salvatore, have you ever talked to Hae-Won Park about changing his screen name?"

"We're actually thinking about it, but we're still having trouble coming up with a name."

"How about Enzo?"

To be honest, he wanted to suggest the name Bruce because Hae-Won Park reminded him of that certain legendary person.

"Enzo? I'll talk about him later regarding your suggestion."

The reason they watched Hae-Won Park do stunts was because there was a scene in The Hangover where a naked Asian man got out of the trunk of a car and beat up the three protagonists.

That's right, the Asian gang boss was Hae-Won Park. That's his role in the movie.

That role was actually meant to be a gag, but he changed the script because Salvatore asked him to invite Hae-Won Park in his movie.

So now the role of the Asian gang boss became badass. Especially when Hae-Won Park has beautiful features of Asian people.

Since the script said that the gang boss would beat the three protagonists, Hae-Won Park wanted to show Kazir that he knew a lot about action stunts. Hae-Won Park's older brother was a stunt director in Hong Kong.

"Tell him to stop, I've seen enough."

"Okay."

Salvatore Barlowe walked up to Hae-Won Park. The Korean actor walked over to Kazir and greeted him.

"Director Grey."

"I'm entrusting you with the action scene. Keep your body healthy, I don't want anything bad to happen."

"I understand."

Being Korean, Park Hae-Won knew his disadvantage in Hollywood. He could not get a good role because of his nationality.

And although people might shrug it off, Asians were actually discriminated against in this place.

One time, when Hae-Won tried to audition for a role as an extra, the producer yelled at him and kicked him out of the crew. The producer kept saying that the Japanese were not allowed after what they did in World War II.

Park Hae-Won tried to explain his nationality, but the producer wouldn't listen.

So he wanted to make sure that his role in this movie would bring him prosperity. As long as the audience appreciated him, he would have achieved his goal.

His salary was very small, 25 thousand dollars, but he felt that it was worth it.

"See you tomorrow at the script reading."

"Yes, director."

Hae-Won Park said goodbye and left after showing his stunts.

"So who's the person you want to recommend as my assistant?"

"Kazir, you already know him."

"Hm?"

Kazir raised his eyebrows. He had no idea.

Since this project was bigger than Napoleon Dynamite, Kazir needed an assistant director to help him.

The role of an assistant director on a movie includes tracking daily progress of the production schedule, organizing logistics, preparing daily call sheets, checking in with cast and crew, and maintaining order on the set.

... It might be the same as the producer, but the assistant director had to take this job deeper. The producer would only oversee, while an assistant director would have to participate in the work.

Obviously, Kazir needed someone to help him with these tasks. After all, he is only one person. He doesn't have the strength to do all these things.

"I hired a recent graduate of the UCLA School of Theater, Film, and Television.

"... Are you talking about..."

"That's right. One of your interns from the last movie signed a contract with me. I recommend him to be your assistant director. He wants to be a director, but he needs experience, so I hope you will help him."

"You're quite greedy to sign another director."

"The more the merrier."

"I need to see him first, because I still don't know who you're talking about."

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[Pujimaki]

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Hollywood What If Chapter 54


"We already talked to the city of Las Vegas and they agreed to let us shoot in the streets. However, we have to make sure that we never disturb the public."

"That's good to hear. We will shoot the street scenes as quickly as possible so that we do not cause any traffic."

As they walked to their next destination, Kazir and Salvatore had a conversation about the Las Vegas shooting.

"As long as we don't make a movie that makes Las Vegas look bad, we'll be fine."

They reached the room where there was a small television and a VHS player.

"Director Grey."

A young black man greeted them. He had an Afro haircut. A very eye-catching hairstyle.

"Fremont Smith? So you're the one Salvatore was talking about?"

Kazir remembered Fremont Smith because of his hair. The Afro definitely rocks.

Unfortunately, Kazir didn't have the hair strength to try the style. Instead, most of his hair grew around his mouth. His beard usually grew quickly. Sometimes he didn't have time to trim it because he was busy.

"That's right. I sent my experimental film to Salvatore and he gave me a contract."

"I see."

Kazir didn't have a problem. He had heard that Fremont Smith got good grades in college. He was one of the top graduates.

Many students graduated from the UCLA film school. But only a very small percentage made it. The only director Kazir remembered graduating from UCLA was Francis Ford Coppola. He is the director of The Godfather.

Kazir witnessed Fremont's work on the crew during the filming of Napoleon Dynamite. He was good at his job. He was one of the people who adjusted lighting and camera angles with Renner.

He clearly knows what he's doing.

"How long is your experimental film?"

"45 minutes, Director Grey."

"Since there's a TV and a VHS player here, I assume you came prepared."

"That's right."

Fremont nodded enthusiastically. He knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Joining a major production crew after graduation was important for his resume. Especially if his position would be as an assistant director.

To be a successful director, Fremont Smith needed experience. The best place to get experience was on big budget movies like The Hangover.

"Let's see it."

"Thanks."

Salvatore sighed with relief after seeing Kazir's reaction.

They sat down and watched the movie.

Based on the color palette of the movie, the tone of the movie was dark and bloody.

Just as Kazir expected, the movie was about a person who kills people...

The plot was simple, the shots were simple, and even the dialog was too monotonous.

One thing was for sure. It was too bloody. Red blood here, red blood there, red blood everywhere.

But he respected the fact that Fremont successfully finished a movie. As long as the movie was completed, it was a good movie.

He knew so many movie projects that were stopped before they were finished.

"It's good."

"This is our school project before we graduate. All the actors are my classmates."

"That explains their acting."

"So what do you think?" Salvatore joined in.

"I have no problem hiring him as my assistant director, but I have one last question."

Kazir looked at Fremont Smith.

"Director Grey, I will answer your question as best I can."

Fremont nodded.

"Fremont, how do you feel about action movies?"

"Action movies? I think action movies are man's romance."

"You're hired."

"T- Thank you, Director Grey!"

Kazir held out his hand and Fremont shook it.

"Salvatore, contact producer Enrico Pusi later. Tell him to sign a contract with Fremont as my assistant director."

"I understand... But I'm just wondering, why did you ask Fremont about action movies?"

Kazir just chuckled.

"I want to know Fremont's opinion about action movies. Simple as that."

"And you like his answer?"

"That's right."

Kazir wanted to know if Fremont was interested in making action movies.

Kazir was already preparing his plan to make an action movie if all went well.

If his Continental Cinematic Universe became successful, Kazir would need a partner to help him make the franchise.

If things went well, Kazir would make Fremont Smith his partner to create the action universe.

'It is impossible for me to make two or three movies a year. I need someone to take over some of the projects.'

Just like Marvel Studio did when their movies became popular.

Marvel Studio hired many directors to make dozens of movies and TV shows every year.

The next day came and Fremont officially became Kazir's assistant director.

"Today is the script reading and all the actors are here."

Fremont told Kazir before entering the room.

"Okay."

Script reading is an important part of pre-production. To make sure the actors know their parts. To make sure they have an idea of what they're going to do.

'You can see whether an actor has read the script or not by attending the script reading.'

To be honest, Kazir didn't like actors who would casually act without even reading the script.

'Maybe people call this method acting, adlib, or improvisational acting. Some people may call it explosive acting... But please have the goddamn professionalism to read the script.'

Kazir had no problem with adlib acting... As long as they knew what they were doing.

Especially actors who forgot their dialog. They were annoying. There are so many actors who have trouble saying their lines.

"Good morning, Director Grey."

Ed Helms was the first to get up and greet Kazir. Then the actors began to greet him one by one.

The script reading began.

The cast were:

Phil: Bradley Cooper

Stu: Ed Helms

Alan: Jack Black

Doug: Pedro Pascal

Mr. Chow: Enzo Park

Jade: Reese Witherspoon

Of course, Kazir would never forget to include Reese Witherspoon in the cast. As long as the role was appropriate, he would try to squeeze Reese into it.

That's how Hollywood works.

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Hollywood What If Chapter 55


The official filming of The Hangover started.

At the Caesars Palace, dozens of reporters started taking pictures for the press conference of The Hangover.

Producer Enrico Pusi and Kazir Grey faced the cameras and let the reporters ask them bunches of questions.

Of course, the Producer and Director had to answer them the best as they could.

Thankfully, most of the questions were mild. Someone actually tried to ask about Kazir's past relationship but Kazir answered it well.

"As long as it's not related to The Hangover, I will not answer it."

"Director Grey, is it true that Ed Helms tried to ask for a salary of 5 million dollars."

"That's right."

There was no reason to keep it a secret. Most people in the circle knew what happened.

These reporters were under Time Warner. Time Warner was one of the media giants in the world. So Warner Bros had a strong influence with the backing of Time Warner.

Kazir understood that some of the reporters' questions were for the purpose of attracting attention.

Such as 'Kazir's new love life' or 'Friction between the Napoleon Dynamite actor and Director.'

These articles would be published by the paparazzi. As long as it could help the movie to attract attention, then everything was fine.

Kazir was already informed about the questions that might be asked.

'Of course, I don't have any problem with Ed Helms. He is a hard-working person. This is nothing but publicity.'

Publicity was the main factor in having a successful movie. So film companies would invest so much money just to advertise their movies. As long as the movie was worth it, companies would invest in publicity.

The best example might be the last year's Batman Forever... The overall publicity cost of the movie was $100 million.

With the $100 million production cost plus $100 million publicity... The movie was a clear disappointment.

'However, I heard that the videotapes are selling well. Many kids are dreaming to become like Superman or Batman.'

With the invention of VCR and VHS player, the Hollywood industry gained power and their profits every year were astronomical. So Warner Bros decided to make another Batman movie next two years.

'Batman and Robin... That's right, the infamous Batman suit with nipples.'

Many people said that Batman's suit was ugly because of the nipples, which was right to be honest.

Clearly one of the reasons why Warner Bros kept the Batman series hidden for almost ten years.

'If not for Christopher Nolan, Batman might be forever stayed in their film libraries.'

The press conference ended and the reporters dispersed.

Kazir and the crew started their shooting.

"Scene 36: The Elevator. Lights, Camera, Action."

The one who was holding the clapperboard was Fremont Smith.

-------

With the four actors inside the elevator(three adult men and a baby), the camera started rolling.

"... Why can't we remember a Goddamn thing last night."

Stu(Ed Helms) said while putting a towel on his mouth. He was confused about why he was missing a tooth.

"Because, obviously we had a great fucking time."

Phil(Bradley Cooper) replied, leaning against the wall.

"Why don't you stop worrying for just one minute?" Phil slightly raised his voice.

"I don't Phil, maybe because I'm missing a tooth. Or maybe, it's because we have a tiger in our hotel room. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I know! Maybe because we found a baby in our room! A human baby! That's it. That's it. It's because we found a fucking baby!"

"I don't think you should curse around the child."

Alan(Jack Black) faced Stu. Alan was wearing a baby carrier and the child was on his chest.

"Really? I don't think you should be around a child."

The elevator opened.

------

"Cut! Ten minutes rest. Let's reshoot this scene. Jane, call your team and retouched their makeup."

"Okay."

Kazir could say that the first scene was good.

"How's the baby?"

"He's cute... Although I felt like he peed on me."

Jack Black bitterly smiled as he sat down. That's right, the baby that he was holding was a real baby.

For a close-up scene, it was impossible to use a prop(fake baby).

"I'm sorry about that."

The mother apologized and held her child. She was a friend of Producer Enrico Pusi. They audition after hearing that the crew needed a baby.

"Hush, hush, baby~"

"Hehe~"

Because of the giggling of the baby, the atmosphere was calming.

"Ed, I want you to deliver your line in a more exhausted way in the first half. Although you still have to raise your voice at the latter."

Kazir approached Ed Helms who was currently receiving a makeup.

"I understand Director."

Ever since they cooperated in Napoleon Dynamite, Ed Helms realized that Kazir took importance in line deliveries. The dialogues should be taken seriously.

Then, Kazir nodded at Bradley Cooper.

"Keep yourself in good condition."

"Thank you, Director."

In the crew, Bradley Cooper and Jack Black were part of the newcomers. They didn't have any idea of how Kazir used his position.

Was he a tyrant? A pacifist? Or a silent madman?

Because Jack Black and Bradley Cooper were the protagonists, they didn't want to cause trouble on the set. So they were doing their job well.

Once the ten minute break was over, Kazir started the shooting again.

Unfortunately, a few seconds after the camera began rolling, the baby started crying and everyone was caught off guard.

"Cut..."

Kazir sighed. He already expected this.

He knew this was going to happen, so he decided to shoot all of the scenes in which the child was part of within three days.

"... Ten minutes rest."

He muttered after the first NG.

It was impossible to talk to a baby. Perhaps the only one who could do that was the mother.

[Author's Note: I'm at the funeral right now, I'll stay here for a week and my update schedule might be inconsistent. Still, I will update everyday.]

 

[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 56



"Sir. The filming of The Hangover has started today."

"Thank you, Nancy."

Tom Rothman nodded after Nancy Utley told him about the news.

Because Napoleon Dynamite was distributed by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Tom Rothman wanted to know the related news about Kazir's next movie.

Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox received the script of The Hangover at the same time. Unfortunately, Warner Bros acquired the movie because of obvious circumstances.

"Nancy, do you know the reason why we didn't fight for The Hangover?"

"Isn't it because of the vulgar theme of the movie? The Hangover has a strong chance to be rated R-Rated and it might not be profitable."

"That's right. Unlike Napoleon Dynamite which has a simple and lighthearted theme, The Hangover has so many profanities. A group of friends went to Las Vegas. After taking drugs, they forgot what they did and one of them was missing."

It was the short summary of The Hangover.

"To be honest, I have this feeling that Kazir can make it successful. Unfortunately, our offer didn't attract his attention."

Kazir was asking for more and they could not negotiate. It was a natural reaction to stop the negotiation.

So Tom Rothman hoped that Kazir's movie would be a disappointment. He hoped that The Hangover would have a bad reception.

Because if the movie became successful...

"How's the script for Napoleon Dynamite II?"

The success of Napoleon Dynamite was still ongoing. So far, the worldwide box office already surpassed $300 million.

The movie would be dropped from the North American cinemas but its global screening would last for another three to four months.

Tom Rothman sighed after remembering that Kazir would receive a 5% North American box office share.

'I should have settled with revenue share instead. At least it's much smaller than 7 million dollars.'

The North American box office of Napoleon Dynamite was $140 million. Naturally, 5% of that amount would go to Kazir.

In fact, Salvatore kept urging Fox Searchlight Pictures to settle the account.

"The creation of the script is halfway done."

After Kazir sold the copyrights of Napoleon Dynamite to Fox Searchlight Pictures, the company sent two writers to oversee the creation of the script.

Kazir already gave the general plot of the movie and he let the writers turn it into a complete script.

Of course, Kazir attended the script writing to make sure that the script would turn out great. Napoleon Dynamite had a very important part in his heart.

"That's good to hear... Since Ed Helms is still filming the movie, don't contact him about the sequel of Napoleon Dynamite for now. No, I advise you to wait for The Hangover's release week before contacting them."

Ed Helms' salary in Napoleon Dynamite was very small.

But his salary in The Hangover was a whopping $1.7 million.

For a small-time actor to a millionaire actor. That was the effect of starring in a successful movie.

'As a businessman, I don't want to give Ed Helms more than a million. If The Hangover flops, then Ed Helms' salary would naturally decrease, and so is Kazir's.'

That was one of the reasons why Tom Rothman hoped that The Hangover would be a disaster.

'I can invite Kazir to direct Napoleon Dynamite II once that happened.'

Everything depends on the result of The Hangover.

If The Hangover turned well, then Fox Searchlight Pictures had to adjust its budget for Napoleon Dynamite II.

But if The Hangover turned bad, then Fox Searchlight Pictures would squeeze Kazir and Ed for all their worth.

"Hm, keep your eyes on The Hangover. Make sure to contact Kazir regarding Napoleon Dynamite II... And settle the account. We don't want Kazir to be angry at us."

Unlike the actors, Kazir's position as a director was far heavy. As long as he had strong profitability, 20th Century Fox would cooperate with him.

"Yes sir."

Tom Rothman was left alone in his office. He was actually having migraine these days because of a certain project.

"Damn that James Cameron, I can't believe that he is asking for something outrageous! He wants to make a real ship!"

The investors in James Cameron's project were 20th Century Fox and Paramount. The two film companies were currently gritting their teeth because of James Cameron's wasteful idea.

However, Tom Rothman couldn't deny that James Cameron was a talented director.

Three of his movies were distributed by 20th Century Fox and they were all successful.

Aliens.

The Abyss.

True Lies.

Unfortunately, the copyrights of The Terminator were held by Orion Pictures. This movie franchise was very profitable.

"Kazir Grey... Please make your movie bad so that we can cooperate again. I believe your talent is in making wholesome comedies, not vulgar ones."

Tom Rothman sighed. His job as a CEO of a film company was exhausting. But the rewards were satisfying as well.

His boss, Rupert Murdoch, contacted him and gave him rewards after the success of Napoleon Dynamite.

.........
......
...

"What do you mean that I can't get money from Kazir? I'm his wife!"

Cassandra glared at her lawyer after learning that it was impossible to get money from her now rich ex-husband.

"Cassandra, you are not his wife. You're his ex-wife. Please remember that."

Her lawyer sighed.

"You had an agreement that you will stop festering him once you acquired the house. He gave you half of his savings too. The court already deemed that the case is over. Unless you want to open the case again, but it cost money."

"... Tch."

Cassandra clicked her tongue in annoyance.

'Who would have thought that my depressed husband will actually become a successful director? Millions! He sold the copyright of his movie for millions but I can't get half of it? That's fucking unfair!'

Cassandra regretted the fact that he divorced Kazir. She should have waited for another year so that she could steal more from him.

"Damn it!"

She slammed her fists against the table out of frustration.

Life was fucking unfair!

'As a beautiful woman, my job should be marrying rich people and stealing half of their property! Instead of focusing on my career and being a good person, I rather step on people!'

 

[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 57


Cassandra Hoecrap. She was Kazir's ex-wife. She dreamed of becoming a famous actress.

With her beautiful appearance, she believed that achieving her dream was extremely possible.

But when she entered Hollywood, her dreams completely shattered. She realized that there were many beautiful women like her in Hollywood. To make the matter worst, they were more talented than her.

Cassandra didn't know how to act. Her facial expressions were terrible. She didn't know how to cry, smile, and get angry in front of the camera.

Her face was always stiff. As if being an actress was not meant for her.

In the year 1988, Cassandra Hoecrap entered the filming crew of Rain Man as an extra vase(a beautiful background character).

While filming the movie, she met Kazir for the first time. She was attracted to his seriousness and confidence. Cassandra was two years older than Kazir but it didn't block their relationship from blossoming.

Then, they decided to marry. At that time, she really loved him.

But time passed and Kazir started to become serious about his job. He was so busy that he only returned to the house every other day.

Furthermore, Kazir's appearance started to change. From a fit young man to a depressing fat guy. Cassandra realized that she started to lose attraction to her husband.

Because of this loneliness, she cheated on him by having sex with his agent... Then her cheating arc expanded until she found a rich old man.

He was a producer/investor. He owned a production company too. After her divorce with Kazir, she started living with her lover.

Since then, Cassandra realized that she could use her beauty to attract people, rich people.

She got half of Kazir's savings and owned his house. She thought she won the battle in life.

Cassandra thought that she could use this method to scam people. So she did her best to convince his old lover to marry.

But who would have thought that the old man didn't treat her seriously? He decided to kick her out after having her way with her.

"... Tch. It doesn't matter, I believe you have some methods to squeeze some money from Kazir. I bought a Chanel bag using my credit card and I still haven't paid the balance."

Cassandra looked at her lawyer. Hoping that the lawyer could answer her problem.

"Of course," the lawyer nodded.

He knew how to get money from Kazir. However, he was not sure if the outcome would be good for Cassandra and him.

"... We can contact the other film companies. Maybe some of them are interested to listen to your story."

Money. As long as money is related, people would throw their humanity to acquire it.

All wrongdoing can be traced to an excessive attachment to material wealth. So yeah, perhaps money is the root of evil. Or was it greed?

"Thank you, lawyer... I promise to reward you for hard work."

Cassandra playfully lowered her chest to show her cleavage.

'Fufu. As expected, I can get what I want as long as I use my beauty. It's really good to be born pretty.'

.........
......
...

Children's Association.

The purpose of this association was the protect the rights of children under the legal age.

In Hollywood, underage actors had a history of being maltreated. Perhaps the best example was Macaulay Culkin, a famous child star from Home Alone. Macaulay Culkin's parents squeezed all of the penny from him. His father was abusive and forced him to take many roles without respect for his mental health. When he turned adult, he became depressed and almost killed himself.

'I'm asking... Where's the Children Association at that time?'

Kazir massaged his forehead.

It was the third day of the filming. So far, he had filmed five scenes. All of the scenes were related to the baby.

'The reason why we can't film so many scenes is because of the Children's Association... That's right, someone called the Children Association.'

To be honest, Kazir understood the reason why the Children Association visited his crew. As long as an underage actor would join a project, the Children's Association would try its best to respond by sending some of its members.

Children's Association was a nonprofit organization so the company could not prevent them from doing what they wanted.

'As a person from a broken family, I want to support the Children's Association. Their purpose is novel... But there's something I don't like about them, they usually have bad motives when they enter the crew. They will ask for something outrageous. They will request something outrageous... Just like now.'

"What's this? This is bad for the kid! You must kick this thing out of the set!"

The woman who had short hair and thick glasses roared. She was from the Children Association.

She was berating one of his crew members.

Kazir sighed and stepped in.

"Ma'am. This is a humidifier. It's a device that adds moisture to the air to prevent dryness that can cause irritation in many parts of the body."

"Humidifier? Never heard of it! All I can see is a cloud of smoke coming out of the machine! I want this thing out of the crew. It's bad for the kid."

Kazir glanced at Producer Enrico Pusi. The Producer sighed and nodded his head. It was tiring to explain it to a woman who had her ears closed.

"I understand."

Kazir signaled the crew to put the humidifier out of the set.

"Mister Grey. I want to remind you that the baby can only work for three hours a day!"

Child actors are only allowed to work between the hours of 5:00 am and 10:00 pm on school days. But the woman's proposal was much worst.

"What are you, his mother?"

"What did you say?"

"I said you don't have the right to talk about it. We have a contract and I will abide by the contract. Of course, everything that is written in the contract is legal. You can ask the mother about that."

Kazir was getting tired of this farce. This was the main reason why the shooting was slow.

'Someone wants to disturb our filming. They sent a troublesome person to cause a problem.'

He gritted his teeth.

 

[Pujimaki]

[Shout out to Vighnesh S, Jack W, Gingyeti, Suleyman M, Michael S M, Jacob H, Zelx, Jesus E, MJ, Mark S, Heavenfall, Anonymous, and Arrafi H!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 58


"Who is it? Who is the bastard trying to disrupt our shooting schedule?"

Kazir sat down after today's shooting was over. Reese Witherspoon sat next to him, reading the script to make sure she wouldn't make any mistakes tomorrow.

Her character (Jade) in the movie was an escort who had a baby. The real reason why she got the role was simple, she was beautiful, sexy and her smile was charming... She also had a relationship with Kazir.

"I think it's going to be okay. You just need to calm down."

Reese smiled and placed the script on the table. Then she held Kazir's hand to ease his frustration.

"We're two days behind schedule because of the Children's Association. They are demanding something outrageous! Why are they asking for vegetable dishes when the baby can't even eat them? It's insane!"

Kazir grumbled. They didn't agree to any of their outrageous requests that had nothing to do with the baby. But it still annoyed him because they were making a scene. They tried to slow down the shooting.

Fortunately, there was only one last scene with the baby tomorrow. Once everything was over, Kazir could pick up the pace.

"Relax. A director like you should be calm."

"I am calm."

"I know, but you have to be calmer."

Reese Witherspoon was actually amused by Kazir's reaction. She thought the man was a calm person, always calculating everything. But when it came to making his movie, Kazir was always serious and nervous.

'I can't believe he acts like that when we're alone... It's kinda cute.'

She giggled. At least she realized that Kazir was not a perfect person.

He is mature and childish at the same time.

"How about this," Reese leaned closer and kissed his neck. "Let's go to a casino and relax. Then we can go back to your room and have some fun."

Kazir looked at the beautiful woman in front of him and kissed her forehead.

"Fine... But I have never gambled in my life."

"There is a first time for everyone. Besides, we will have fun. But I remind you never to get addicted to this kind of thing, gambling is bad."

"I understand."

"Now... How about a quickie?"

Reese leaned closer and let Kazir feel her breasts.

"Okay." Kazir grinned.

He had already forgotten about the problem after having a good time with Reese. Unfortunately, they didn't go out that night.

They decided to postpone their visit to a casino. They spent the night having "fun".

Early in the morning, Kazir started work. The crew prepared the car that the three protagonists would use.

Producer Enrico Pusi appeared and approached Kazir.

"I got the information from Warner Bros. Apparently Paramount, Orion and Miramax are trying to sabotage our movie. They have movies they want to release this summer."

"But we still don't have a confirmed release date? Why are they trying so hard to sabotage us?"

"I don't know. In fact, even New Line Cinema wanted to cause a problem. But Terry Semel warned Robert Shaye not to mess around."

"..."

Kazir touched his chin.

'Those three companies tried to buy Napoleon Dynamite from me, but they failed...'

To be fair, Kazir knew this was going to happen one way or another. This was a competition after all.

"I understand."

After hearing this information, Kazir stepped away from the crew and called his agent.

[Hello? Kazir?]

"Salvatore, I want to know what Paramount, Orion and Miramax are doing these days."

[I'll fax it to you later.]

Since Salvatore was his agent, he already had an idea why Kazir was asking him about the three movie companies.

"Thank you. Oh, if any of them try to contact you... Tell them I have a script they might be interested in."

There was no eternal enemy. Everyone was willing to cooperate as long as there were benefits. Kazir understood this very well.

[Okay.]

These companies were smart. They would never do anything out of line.

He understood it very well.

Even Warner Bros and 20th Century Fox would sabotage him if they didn't work with him.

20th Century Fox was hoping that Kazir would direct Napoleon Dynamite II. So they would never join to cause trouble.

'As for Warner Bros, the answer was obvious. They would never sabotage their own project. 35 million dollars is too big to fuck around with. '

Just as Salvatore promised, the film companies stopped interfering with his movie after Salvatore said that Kazir was trying to sell a script.

The title of the script had an experimental name: Teddy Bear.

Salvatore gave them 2/3 part of the script and Paramount and Miramax contacted him. They were interested in the movie and wanted Kazir to direct it. However, they were still not willing to put up any money to buy the project.

Like 20th Century Fox, the other companies were waiting to see the results of The Hangover.

If the movie was successful... Then there would be another competition to buy his script.

Se7en and Napoleon Dynamite were huge successes, so they were confident in Kazir's creativity at the least.

'It was as simple as that. I don't want to antagonize any movie company. It's not the best thing to do in this exclusive industry.'

The shooting that day was very simple, and the Children's Association kept their mouths shut. As if they were normal people who hadn't caused any trouble in the past few days.

The scenes with the baby ended after seven days and Kazir sighed with relief. At least they finished the scenes within the planned schedule.

'All because the Children's Association didn't make a fuss.'

Since then, the movie had begun to pick up speed. Their plan for the next week was to shoot all the scenes with Mike Tyson and the tiger.

'That's right. The tiger we're hiring is Mike Tyson's tiger.'

Mike had just gotten out of prison, and Kazir was actually afraid to meet the legendary boxer. Maybe because he knew how dangerous the young Mike Tyson was.

 

[Pujimaki]

Hollywood What If Chapter 59


The day arrived and Mike Tyson showed up with his entourage. They were a bunch of menacing looking guys. Tall, with guns, and their way of talking was unique.

"Mr. Tyson. Nice to meet you."

Kazir was the first to greet the legendary boxer. Mike Tyson looked at him with a smile and nodded.

"Nice to meet you too, director."

'... If I'm going to be honest, he spoke the "it's" "it'th."'

That was Kazir's first impression of him. Of course, he would never talk to Mike Tyson about his mispronunciation. He didn't want to get punched.

"Mr. Tyson, do you want to do the tiger scene first or your scene first?"

"Let's do the tiger scene. I want to know my pet's acting skills."

"All right."

Since Mike Tyson was the owner of the tiger they hired, they have to respect his opinion.

"Crew, prepare the scene with the tiger. Jane, make the actors look like they are waking up from a hangover."

Jane became the head of the makeup team. Of course, her salary went up, too. Everyone's salary on the crew was under the budget of The Hangover.

In fact, the salary of the entire crew was minuscule compared to the other expenses. Not even 10% of the budget.

In a way, the biggest enemies of movie companies are the huge salaries of the cast. Especially when they hire superstars to star in the movie. Well, money is not a problem as long as the videotape market is doing well.

'Speaking of videotapes... Where did I put that videotape? Nah, it's useless anyway.'

He received a package last year related to his divorce case, but it was too late to use it.

"Put the camera over there."

"Aight."

Kazir watched the preparations. Harold, the head of the props team, making sure the whole suite looked like a mess. As if there had been a huge alcohol overdose in the place.

As for Renner, he was adjusting camera angles and lighting. Helping him was Fremont.

Kazir nodded as he watched the preparations.

'The real heroes behind your favorite movies are the crew members. They spent their time creating the best scenes and the best look for the audience.'

That's why everyone on the crew would have their names in the credits. Everyone appreciates their hard work.

When a movie was successful and made a lot of money at the box office, the crew members would receive bonuses. They would also have a celebration party.

"Is everything ready?"

Kazir raised his voice and looked around. Everyone signaled that they were ready.

Even the actors were "groggy" on the floor.

Kazir nodded to Fremont.

"Lights, Camera, Action!"

-----

After Jade (Reese Witherspoon) left their hotel suite, the three protagonists were drunk and 'dead' on the floor.

Alan (Jack Black) weakly got up to go to the bathroom. He walked and dodged the ducks. The ducks flew around and nearly tripped him.

He reached the bathroom and started to pee.

While peeing, Alan heard a tiger growling behind him. He thoughtlessly turned around and found a tiger growling at him.

He didn't think much and continued peeing. But a few seconds later, Alam panicked!

He ran away and kicked Phil's balls!

"Augh!"

"Gah!"

They roll to the floor. With Phil (Bradley Cooper) in pain and Alan in fear.

"God damn! You put some pants on!"

"Don't go to the bathroom!"

Alan shouted.

"Alan, just calm down."

"Phil, there's a tiger in the bathroom!"

"What's going on?"

Stu (Ed Helms) looked at them in confusion. He had a hangover.

Everyone had a heavy hangover.

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!"

"Okay, okay, okay," Phil stood up. "I'll check it out."

He opened the door and the tiger roared at him. Phil immediately shut the door.

"Woah! Fuck! He's not kidding, there's a tiger in there."

"No, there isn't," Stu replied weakly.

------

"Cut! This is good. Ready for the next scene!"

After three takes, Kazir was satisfied with their performance.

The next scene was about Alan (Jack Black) getting punched by the champion.

"He's not really going to punch me, is he?"

Jack Black nervously approached Kazir.

"Don't worry... You'll have to stay in the hospital after this."

"You got to be kidding me!"

"No, I'm just kidding," Kazir shrugged.

"Of course he won't hit you. We still need you to shoot a lot of scenes. Remember, we need more than a month to shoot all the scenes.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Anyway, just hang in there."

"What? Director? Director! Don't let me down! Director!"

Kazir checked the shots to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. The shots looked promising and went well.

'There's a movie that starred Jack Black, it's called Nacho Libre. It was said that Jack Black almost lost his eye because of a stunt...'

Some people said it was a publicity stunt to draw in the audience, and some people said it was real.

'Well, Jack Black said it was real, so maybe it is.'

As a director, Kazir knew whether this information was real or not.

'One thing is for sure. A sane director will never have an actor do a dangerous stunt. Everything will be done by a body double. Even the insurance company will never agree to such a decision.'

If an actor was really injured, the insurance company would have to pay so much money.

Just like now...

"Um, Director Grey. I just heard that Jack Black is going to get punched by Mike Tyson. I think he needs a body double for that."

"..."

Kazir looked at the Merrill Lynch representative.

"I mean, we all know that Mike Tyson is a strong boxer. If an accident happens and Jack Black is injured, the shoot will be postponed and we will waste money and time."

"Saul, don't worry. I will never let that happen. But I will not use a body double either. I just have to trust Mike Tyson."

"But are you really sure?"

"Saul. I think Mike Tyson will never hit Jack Black."

He looked at him seriously. Kazir wanted to see as much real emotion as possible, so it was better to use Jack Black for the scene.

Besides, Kazir didn't like it when someone tried to stop him from doing what he wanted.

Total authority. As long as the filming was going on, Kazir wanted complete authority over the project.

"... Okay."

Saul stepped back and decided to trust him.

Naturally, the scene began after the makeup artists had finished adjusting the looks of the three protagonists.

Jack Black was scared the whole time, and that was what Kazir needed.

Luckily, the heavyweight champ knew how to control his punch and Jack Black was not hurt. But it was still scary.



[Author's Note: I'm bored so I want to share my top 5 underated manga. What do you think of my list?]

1. Usogui
2. Pandora's Heart
3. Alice In Borderland
4. Oyasumi Punpun
5. World Embryo