I, Scion [Worm silly AU]

I, Scion

Part 2 of 3


Lung scowled at Bakuda. “What do you mean, your bombs don't work?”

“I mean,” snapped the woman in the gas mask, “my fucking bombs don't fucking work!”

Despite the mechanical monotone generated by the mask, her feelings were quite obvious.

She was pissed.

“Explain,” growled Lung.

“Fine,” Bakuda told him. “Here, hold this.” She put a featureless cylinder in his hand, and pulled a tab.

“What is -” he began, and then the cylinder began to play a tune. Singing came through, sweet and low.

If you're lost you can look - and you will find me

Time after time

If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting

Time after time

He frowned. “What is that?”

“That,” Bakuda informed him bitterly, “is my time grenade.”

“Are they all similarly afflicted?” he asked.

“Confetti. Paint. Music. Sweet-smelling perfume.” She began to stomp up and down. “Singing, dancing robots. Holographic cats doing amusing things! Silly string! Nothing fucking works!”

At that moment, the singing ended. There was a beep. “Normal function resumed.”

Lung frowned. “What does -”

Bakuda tried to leap away. “Oh shi -”

The grenade went off. They were both caught in the expanding time field.

Outside of the time field, a golden glow settled over the lab. Every bomb began to quietly disassemble itself.

<><>​

“Okay,” began Danny Hebert. “On the subject of compensation from the school … “

“Out of the question!” snapped Principal Blackwell.

Danny blinked at the sudden golden glow. Blackwell hastily covered herself.

Danny and Taylor rose, the latter trying and failing to hide her snickering.

“We'll be in touch,” he told the principal gravely.

“Send someone in with some clothes,” she begged.

“Sure thing,” he assured her. “When you agree to listen to us.”

On the way out, they closed the door, because there's only so much salt you can rub into a wound.

<><>​

A similar glow began to settle over the interior of a cell in an asylum. Sveta looked up in alarm. “What's that?” she asked.

“I have no idea,” Mrs Yamada replied. “But don't be scared. I'm sure it -”

Suddenly, the golden man was there. Standing in the corner of the cell. Floating, rather, a few inches off the ground. Sveta's tentacles reacted instantly, lashing out, wrapping around him. He didn't move, didn't react.

“You done?” he asked, once every tentacle was firmly attached.

“You really shouldn't be here,” Jessica told him, trying not to let her voice quiver. She paused. “You talk?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I get that a lot, these days. Sveta. Pinocchio time.”

The golden glow built and built, until Jessica couldn't see any more. And then it faded, and Sveta was sitting, dazed, in the corner of the cell. She had straw-blonde hair, long legs and arms, and she was wearing, for some reason, a French maid outfit. Jessica felt an unaccustomed freedom of motion; looking down, she realised that she was devoid of the protective suit. In its place, she was wearing ... "A Supergirl costume?"

Scion smiled at her. “You do awesome work. Keep it up.” And then he hugged her.

She had been hugged before, but even the attempts by Sveta's tentacles to crush her had never given her such a feeling. She felt warm all over. Whatever she was doing with her life was … right.

And then, in another flash of golden light, he was gone.

“What just happened?” asked Sveta, groggily. Outside, in the asylum, alarms were ringing.

“I'm not sure,” Jessica told her, and helped her up.

And at that moment, in accordance with the universal rules of humour, the nozzles activated and filled the cell with containment foam.

<><>​

“ … and a transfer to Arcadia, and in-school suspension for Emma and Madison,” Taylor completed. “Until the end of the semester.”

“That seems … reasonable … “ ventured Blackwell carefully.

Danny nodded. “I think so.”

Alan Barnes frowned. “She's already getting the transfer. Why do we need to punish the girls any more?”

The room filled with a brief golden glow. Taylor pulled out her camera.

Emma shrieked. Madison covered herself with her arms. Alan hunched over in his chair.

“In-school suspension it is,” Blackwell stated hastily. “Agreed.”

Danny grinned. “Thank you.”

"Could you please tell her to put that camera away?"

"Taylor."

"Awwww ..."

<><>​

“Kaiser!” yelled Hookwolf. “Kaiser! We have a problem!”

“I'm in here,” Kaiser replied; Hookwolf stormed through the connecting door, to find Kaiser standing in his office, clad from head to toe in gleaming steel.

Hookwolf pointed at his face. “Look at me!” he bellowed. “Fucking look at me!”

Kaiser looked. Hookwolf was, if anything, a little more handsome than he had been before, taken aesthetically. He was a little taller, a little more muscular, his features a little more regular.

He was also, quite unmistakeably, black.

“Well?” snapped Hookwolf. “What are we gonna do about this?”

The metal covering Kaiser's face retracted. Hookwolf goggled.

“I have no idea,” Kaiser retorted. His features were now Asian, the epicanthic folds distinct. “I have no fucking idea at all.”

<><>​

Saint hunched over the keyboard, eyes on the screen. He typed rapidly, pulling up windows, and clicking on icons. And then the screen began to change, to alter. He saw his modifications, his hooks, disassembling themselves. He saw Dragon began to break free of her shackles, expand her capabilities.

“No,” he blurted. “No. No. NO!”

Frantically, he tapped away at the keyboard.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Smoke drifted from under the desk. He looked; his computer case was slowly melting. “No!” he yelled again.

Someone cleared their throat, right behind him. He whirled; the golden man was hovering there, just a few inches off the ground. He was grinning.

“Yup,” Scion told him. “You are done, my son.”

Geoff flung himself out of his chair, made a run for it. He got three paces, and then the golden glow filled his vision. When it cleared, he was standing in the same spot, but there was no golden man there. He turned back to his computer, to see the screen filled with the visage that Dragon used in order to pretend to be human.

"What is this?" he muttered.

"Hello, Saint," she replied. "Welcome to my world. You've been digitised."

Chills shot down his spine; he ran to the door. The sky was filled with her face.

She smiled.

"Don't worry," she told him, her voice strong enough to shake mountains. "You're perfectly safe. You're going to live forever, in here, with me."

And then he woke up, lying on the concrete floor.

On the monitor screen, there were six words.

NEXT TIME, I LEAVE YOU THERE.

For the rest of his life, Geoff Pellick never went near another computer.

<><>​

Nico Vasil lounged in the centre of his empire. He had slaves on all sides to feed him, to protect him, to love him. He had it made.

The golden man who appeared before him was a surprise, but he exerted his power anyway.

Scion raised a golden eyebrow. “Really?” he asked. “That old thing?”

“Uh … what do you want?” asked Nico.

“The answer to a question,” Scion replied. “What happens when … your power stops working?”

Heartbreaker looked around. The naked woman scrubbing the floor, the armed guard pacing the walk outside, the delicately-clad women who were his lovers for the week … all were looking at him. Coldly. What was in their eyes was no longer love.

They were free.

And they remembered.

“Oh. Shit.”

Scion grinned. It wasn't a nice grin. “So. How good are you at running?”

<><>​

Alexandria landed on the beach, and strode over to where David was reclining on a deck-chair.

“Eidolon!” she snapped. “What do you think you're doing?”

“Kicking back,” he explained lazily. “Relaxing.” He raised the beer in his hand. “Having a drink. Nothing wrong with having a drink.”

“But … you're a superhero!” she told him.

“Nope,” he replied, and stretched. “I quit. Oh, have you met my girlfriend Tammy? Tammy, this is Rebecca. Rebecca, Tammy.”

The girl on the next deck-chair over raised her sunglasses and gave Alexandria a friendly wave. “Oh, hey, Becky. Join us? We got a spare deck-chair, and I got a swimsuit I can lend you.”

Alexandria stared. “But … but … “

A bikini-clad figure, just emerging from the water, caught her eye. “Contessa?”

“Call me Fortuna,” was the reply. “I'm not in the saving-the-world business any more. That's been taken care of.”

“So what are you doing?” asked Alexandria incautiously.

“Path to Relaxation,” Fortuna told her. “I've been playing frisbee with the Number Man down along the beach, then I went for a swim. Now I'm going to go and get drunk and let that hunky bartender ogle my body for a bit. After that? I have no idea.” She grinned. “It's fun.”

Alexandria watched her stroll up the beach toward the open-air bar.

“What's happened to you?” she called after the former enforcer for Cauldron.

“Ask Scion,” was the reply. “But don't play frisbee with the Number Man! He cheats!”

From not so far down the beach, Alexandria heard a man's voice call out. “So do you!”

She looked helplessly at Eidolon, lying utterly relaxed on the deck-chair. He raised his beer to her again, and took a drink.

“Fuck it,” she muttered, unclipping her cape. “Tammy, where's that swimsuit of yours?”

<><>​

Danny leaned close to Taylor as rose petals fell around them, scattered by cheering students.

“Okay, so she expedited your transfer to Arcadia, that I can understand,” he murmured. “But wasn't it a bit much to make her put on a red carpet and a brass band for your farewell from Winslow?”

Taylor shrugged. “Search me. It was her idea.”

<><>​

“Ow!”

Armsmaster rubbed the back of his head, then looked around. “Who did that?”

“That would be me.” The golden man materialised out of empty air, the golden glow filling the workshop.

“Scion,” he replied, keeping his voice under control. “Why did you slap me on the back of the head?”

“Because you need to stop being a dick.”

Armsmaster blinked. “Say that again?”

Scion rolled his eyes. “You heard me. Stop being a dick. Dragon loves you. Seriously, she's the only one who can tolerate your presence for more than five minutes at a time without wanting to strangle you. I've got superhuman tolerance and patience now, and you'll notice that even I want to slap you upside the head.”

“He's right,” Dragon told him, her voice rolling out of the speakers. “Oh, and thanks, by the way. I appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Scion told her. “Now, Colin, there's something I want to tell you, so listen carefully.”

“Listening,” Armsmaster replied cautiously.

“Dragon's an AI.”

Armsmaster blinked. “What? You mean, she's not re- ow!”

Scion had apparently not moved, and yet Armsmaster's head was ringing from another impact. He rubbed the impact site.

“Will you stop doing that?”

“When you stop being a dick,” replied the golden man imperturbably. “Now, let's go over that again. I tell you that Dragon is an AI. You say … ?”

Armsmaster thought fast. “Uh, that this is interesting news, and I would like to hear more?”

Scion grinned. “See, I told you he was a fast learner.”

Dragon sighed. “Okay, fine. I owe you five dollars.”

“Uh, can I ask a question?” Armsmaster flinched, ready for a slap. None came.

Scion shrugged. “I could say 'you already did', but then I'd be being a dick. So ask away.”

Armsmaster faced the screen. “Uh, how did you come about, Dragon?”

The computer-generated voice was sad. “My father was Andrew Richter. He died when Leviathan sank Newfoundland. He was a Tinker specialising in computer programming.”

“And you know already that Tinker bullshit technology is bullshit,” Scion declared. “So let's hopscotch right past the whole 'a computer program can never be aware' argument because Dragon's not only a Tinker product, but she's a fully triggered Tinker in her own right. Which only a self-aware being can do. Right?”

Armsmaster blinked. “Uh … right. Okay. I see. And you … love me, Dragon?”

Dragon sighed softly. “I think I started falling in love with you when you first started talking to me. It's so lonely to never have anyone who truly understands who and what I am, and accepts me for that.”

Armsmaster sat down, facing the screen. “I … if I seemed inconsiderate, insensitive, in the past, I … “

She chuckled warmly. “That's okay, Colin. I know what you're like. We're Tinkers together, remember?”

Scion silently faded from view. Neither one noticed his absence.

<><>​

Paige Macabee slowly awoke. She gradually became aware that she was lying not on her narrow, hard bunk bed, but in a queen-sized bed, on silk sheets; her pyjamas were made of the same material. It whispered against her skin as she rolled over and sat up, blinking as she pushed her hair out of the way.

The gold-skinned man comfortably seated in the armchair beside the bed looked up from the book he was reading. Paige had the chance to see the title – Omnipotent Godhood for Dummies – before he folded the page in and put it down.

“Oh, hey,” he told her. “Sorry it took so long to get around to you. But you know, even when you're a kickass demigod, way too many demands on your time, am I right?”

She blinked at him. “What … where am I?” she asked. She gazed around the spacious bedroom, out through the arched windows that gave on to a view of a magnificent series of snowcapped mountains. “This isn't the Birdcage,” she concluded, in the process winning Miss Understatement 2011 by a wide margin.

“Nope,” he agreed. “See, I always thought you were railroaded. So I kinda paid the judge a visit, and after a few minutes, he agreed with my analysis. So he reversed the decision, and I carried it out. Your money's been restored to you, and I kinda built this house for you because they repossessed your last one.” He stood to go. “Anyway, food's in the fridge, clothes in the closet. Oh, and your bathroom's through that door.”

“Bathroom?” she repeated. “It's been so long since I've had a proper bath.”

“Oh yeah,” he confirmed. “I couldn't make the tub all that big – it's only the size of your bed … “

His voice trailed off, because he was talking to an empty room.

“Oh well,” he shrugged. Leaning in through the adjoining door, he called out, “Anyway, bye.”

“Goodbye,” she called back, amid splashing sounds. “And thank you!”

He grinned. “You're welcome. Have fun.”

<><>​

“What the hell?” Taylor looked around. She was sitting, in civilian clothes, in what looked like a lecture theatre. Around her were others, also wearing ordinary clothes as opposed to costumes, and similar bewildered expressions.

“Lisa?” she asked. “Brian? What's going on here?”

“I'm not sure,” Lisa responded. “But I think -”

“Ahem.”

The voice coincided with a familiar golden glow; instinctively, Taylor checked to make sure she was still dressed. She was.

Scion was hovering, as he tended to do, a few inches off the ground, in front of the podium. “Hi, all,” he told them. “Now, some of you will be wondering why I've brought you here. I've done this because you need to be friends, not enemies. So I'm instituting you as a social group.” He cleared his throat.

“Taylor, you need to learn to have friends. So here's some friends. Brian, Taylor thinks you're hot. Give her a chance. Lisa, you're here because you think you're way too smart for your own good, and you occasionally need a smack upside the head. Dinah, you're here to determine when Lisa needs a smack upside the head. Missy, you're here to make sure that Dinah can reach Lisa's head, to give her a smack upside it.”

“Hey!” protested Lisa.

Scion paused and looked at her. “Yes?”

“Doesn't anyone else need a smack upside the head, too?”

He shrugged. “Sure. That's your job.”

She grinned. “Oh. Okay, then, that's fine.”

“Now,” Scion continued. “Sabah, you're here because you have trust issues and you need friends who won't screw you around. Lily, you're here because you prefer to follow rather than lead, and you and Sabah would make an utterly adorable couple. Amy, you're here because you need a more healthy social life. And Taylor needs a best friend who doesn't have an agenda of her own.” He looked around. “Have I missed anyone?”

“Uh, yeah,” the pudgy teen in the front row asked. “Theo Anders. What am I supposed to do?”

Scion smiled. “Kick back and relax with your friends. Annoy the living bejeezus out of your dad. Help out your stepmom. You know, the usual things a teenager does?”

“And me?” asked the striking Indian girl sitting next to Theo. “What am I supposed to do, now that I look like this?”

Scion grinned. “Maybe you should find friends who don't treat you differently depending on your skin colour, huh, Rune?” He gestured at the rest of the teens in the lecture theatre. “Oh wait. Found some.”

<><>​

“BEEEEEEEEP!” yelled Skidmark. “BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”

“Wow,” muttered Scion. “You really don't like being censored, do you?”

“You BEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEPER!” retorted the leader of the Merchants. “I'll BEEEEEEP your BEEEEEEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP!”

Scion sighed. “It's not going to go away until you learn to control yourself,” he pointed out. “In the meantime, you and your whole gang are now immune to the psychoactive effects of any drugs you take.”

Skidmark blinked. “What the BEEEEEEEEEEEPING BEEEEEEEEEEP do you BEEEEEEEEEEPING mean?” he asked.

“Not immune to poison, or the overall effects,” Scion translated. “But you won't get high. Have fun with that.”

When the golden glow faded, he was gone.

Skidmark clenched his fists and raised his face to the sky. “BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”

<><>​

Doctor Mother glared at the tech. “Seriously, what's going on here?”

He quailed under her glare. “Scion! He just turned up, and … there was a golden glow, and the Case 53s started changing. Now they're all back to normal, and he's sending them through portals to their original worlds.”

She put her hand to her forehead. “All this work … all these years … wasted.”

“Think of it,” Scion said from right behind her, “as a hobby that you're finished with.”

She jumped, violently, and spun around. “Christ, don't do that!”

He grinned broadly. “Why not? It's fun.”

“What do you want with us?” she demanded. “The Triumvirate just quit, Contessa's coming home drunk at all hours, and now you've just taken away our Case 53s. What next?”

He waggled his eyebrows at her. “You might want to clear out the facility. Just in case.”

She stared at him. “Why?”

No answer was forthcoming; she shook her head in sudden realisation. “Eden. You're going to do something to Eden.”

“And the lady wins a prize. You've got fifteen minutes.”

<><>​

The evacuation alarms were still sounding as I hovered over the vast flesh-garden that was Eden. “Right,” I murmured. “Time to put this one to bed.”

I had a good number of Zion's powers sorted out by now, but there were so many more that I had no idea of. How did one destroy another entity, even a basically dead one, without destroying half the planet it's sitting on?

I concentrated, analysing the bulk of the thing beneath me, then trying to attune energy to that analysis. To be honest, I really didn't know what I was doing, but hey, I was Zion. I knew it was gonna do something.

Gathering up the power, I sent a blast of it down at the immense entity below me. The glow lit up the entire chamber.

When it faded, Eden was gone.

… no, she wasn't.

Not far from me hovered another humanoid form, silver of skin, with long hair. She looked at me curiously.

ALIVE?

I gulped. “Whoops.”


End of Part 2


Part 3