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One More Trigger (Worm AU)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ack, Dec 21, 2014.

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  1. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Riley never wanted to become a member of the Nine, either.

    It took one night for Jack to turn a six year old.

    It's gonna take a little longer for three determined adults and six determined teens to start undoing the knots in her head, but they're gonna be working at it.
     
  2. SwiftRosenthal

    SwiftRosenthal Connoisseur.

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    Just because Jack was responsible for turning her evil, that doesn't make the fact that she's evil go away. Even if her only way out was literal suicide, she still had the option and never took it. Being brainwashed and underage doesn't stop her from being responsible for her own actions.

    In hindsight, the best Bonesaw solution I've read (and can remember atm, but "can remember it years later" is a sign of quality) was the one in Queen of Blood. Sometimes you just have to put a mad dog down.
     
  3. Starfox5

    Starfox5 Experienced.

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    If we start demanding that little kids should choose suicide as the way out, we're a little too close to those who turn the kids into murderers. Riley was six when she was taken by Jack Slash. No one sane would treat or try a six year old kid as an adult. And of course she doesn't want to reform - yet. Deprogramming her will take time.
     
  4. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    As long as they're not risking anybody getting killed along the way, it's fine by me.


    But they are. Containing Bonesaw at the moment is doable. But, as Saint (May the flea's of thousand reindeer nest in his genitals) has already shown that even just holding her isn't certain.

    Right now, they're taking a massive risk. Being that this is an Ack fic, it'll most likely pay off, but it could easily go wrong. Very, very, very wrong.
     
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  5. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    She's been utterly cut off from her previous support structure, which was enabling and encouraging her actions.

    Jack Slash, the architect of her evil, is dead.

    Her powers are no longer hers to access.

    Her modifications have been removed.

    She has three adults and six powered teens, including a biokinetic and a strong Thinker, on her case at all times.

    The number of people both capable of busting her out of Samaritan custody and idiotic enough to try is very small. The number of those who know where she is, is exactly zero.

    The risk is not as strong as you seem to think.
     
  6. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    I'm not arguing with you, even if arguing with the author was a smart thing to do. It's still... I'm getting that "It's too much" feel.

    I might just be feeling the whole story is looking at that shark, and wondering if it'll make 2 feet over it, or just 1. It's.... It's not quite working for me.

    Might just be me.
     
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  7. macdjord

    macdjord Well worn.

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    I have no objection to stories where she is just killed out of hand. But that's because she's incredibly fucking dangerous, not because she's 'evil' and there's a moral imperative to punish her.
     
  8. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    By what do you mean "It's too much"?

    A bunch of teenagers trying to rehabilitate a horrifically dangerous serial killer?

    Believe me, they aren't going to do anything as stupid as trust her any time soon.

    Or are you thinking that they simply shouldn't be able to do it?

    Normally, you'd be right.

    Of course, normally, Lisa and Amy wouldn't be on the roster.

    Specifically, the girl who can fill in your sentences for you and the rapidly-getting-her-head-together master biokinetic. As well as Vista.

    Also, Taylor "I can find you anywhere with my bugs" Hebert, Madison "Air is my bitch" Clements and Emma "Snap crackle and pop aren't just a breakfast cereal mascot" Barnes.

    Plus, three adults. Which makes nine to one against.

    Rehabilitation isn't going to be easy, but it's not impossible.
     
  9. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    It's not that.

    It might just be me. But, I think you're trying to match a group in your head, reguardless of how it works as a story.

    It just doesn't work in my head. The whole fic, now. I'm somehow not seeing any of this working anymore.

    It's too smooth. Too easy.



    My suspention of disbelief is hit. Too few problems, too easy for the good guys.



    I'll keep reading your stuff, but I'm not sure this'll be part of it.
     
  10. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    So what you're saying is that because they're prepared and trained, I should magically level-up their enemies?

    They have conflict ahead.
     
  11. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    All I'm going to say is that I don't feel any tension about their victory. There's no doubt, no concern about the cost.



    But Ack is Ack. You write how you write. I'll do my best to manage my expectations, appropriately.
     
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  12. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    We shall see what we shall see.
     
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